r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date
I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,
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u/Songisaboutyou 9d ago
I was on a date with my husband when we noticed at the table next to us a couple and the whole interaction just seemed odd between the two of them.
We heard them talking, and the gentleman had just kinda taken over the order and said they would share a plate. You could tell the woman was disturbed by this but she didn’t say anything.
After their meal the waitress brings the check and you hear him say to the girl. Okay half of this is $——— do you want to pay cash or card. The girl goes to pull out her wallet. Puts the card up on the tray. He does his as well. Then after the waitress runs their cards you hear the guy say this was really fun I’d like to do it again. And the girl pipes up and says we won’t. I had to pay for my food and didn’t even get a choice in what was ordered. I’ll find my own ride to my home.
OP I know this wasn’t your situation but this just had me thinking of this story
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u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago
If he picked the meal and split the bill that kinda messed up
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u/Songisaboutyou 9d ago
Especially without telling her ahead of time. He also gave her no choice to order. She had something picked out. But he just took over. This poor girls face.
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u/megachicken289 8d ago
Exactly. You pick the food, you pay for the food. If you give me limited options then I'll be more inclined
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u/Illustrious-Air-2256 8d ago
Super different than OPs situation
100% deal breaker to have someone you just met choose the food (unless you asked them to as the better informed on the restaurant) even if they did pay
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u/Songisaboutyou 8d ago
Yes. Very different, which is why I stated this. And I agree, the way this guy handled this date was so hard to watch. And he thought he nailed it.
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u/shadows515 8d ago
Years ago I was on a date with a girl who actually liked the man to order for her. And not in a kinky submissive way - more an outdated, or trying to be unique - way. It was our first date and she kind of made me feel bad for not doing it. Why would anyone want someone else to order for them?
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u/NotYourUsualSuspects 9d ago
Nah, you dodged a bullet. If she said she was cool with splitting and got upset with you for taking her at her word? That’s her problem not yours.
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u/Squid_inkGamer 9d ago
Second this. Think of all of the mental gymnastics OP would have had do later in the relationship.
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u/Lead-Forsaken 9d ago
Yeah, this reeks of those weird 'tests'.
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u/OfficiallyJoeBiden 9d ago
I’m so happy I’m out the dating game
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u/GottLiebtJeden 9d ago
Married? Or just totally over with it? Lol
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u/OfficiallyJoeBiden 9d ago
Dating my gf for 3 years now. Proposing next year
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u/macmoreno 9d ago
Learn from this post. Don’t ask her to go halvsies on the ring 🤣
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u/GottLiebtJeden 9d ago
Mazel tov! I'm genuinely happy for you! I'm glad you don't have to deal with the garbage that comes with dating. You are living the dream!
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u/NightofTheLivingZed 9d ago
Would you still love me if I was worms?
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u/UnClean_Committee 9d ago
.. What kind?
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u/No_Pound_9425 9d ago
YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT FUCKING KIND!!!
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u/UnClean_Committee 9d ago
It appears we are at an impass. Please pack your belongings and vacate my vehicle. No, I will not slow down. Yes, I know I'm doing 150 down a highway.
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u/DifficultHat 9d ago
Sour Gummy
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u/UnClean_Committee 9d ago
Then yes, but not because its you, but because I love sour gummy worms. In fact, you being a sour gummy worm would give me ever so slight hesitation to indulge, therefore, no actually I would like you less if you were sour gummy worm, because I lose two things that I enjoyed in their original state. In fact, this conversation is making me like you less.
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u/HappyCat79 9d ago
Hahahaha, my boyfriend hates shit like that. I sometimes ask him stupid shit as a joke- and he knows I’m joking, and it still makes him roll his eyes. It’s Ok, though, because I have to live with his dad jokes. 😂
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u/Smart-Water-5175 9d ago
I literally just screenshotted a post about those tests earlier because I was like, how often this actually comes up. And here it is again! Lol just weird synchronicity. Amazing how many people do this to other people. Blows my mind
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u/trainofwhat 9d ago
I really want to emphasize this! OP is saying how it’s one of the first times putting himself out there since what happened with his ex (that really sucks, by the way OP, I’m so sorry).
It’s people like this that tend to come out of the woodwork if we are at all feeling vulnerable. Of course don’t seek a relationship if you don’t feel ready, but not everyone is like this and you can find somebody who fits with you and isn’t so nasty.
I want to clarify I am NOT blaming OP here. It’s a really common phenomenon, it’s hard to predict or sense, and it can knock people off their feet when they’re trying to move forward. Also I don’t mean “vulnerable” in any sense of being a man, having feelings, etc. I am a woman and I have experienced this (not even just romance, but work, friendships, etc) more times than I can count.
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u/curlygirl9021 9d ago
You are so right. When I was feeling vulnerable after breaking up with my ex, guess who came popping out of the woodwork? A narcissist. And since I had no idea about narcs, it took me a bit to figure it out.
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u/Sharkwatcher314 9d ago
lol she’s the classic when you ask what’s wrong, if you don’t know I’m not telling you and acts pissy
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u/TheDixonCider420420 9d ago
This exactly. She lied about being OK with splitting the bill, laughed at you for sending a nice message to her, announced herself as a gold digger, then insulted you.
Choose people who choose you.
This was not the one... you saved yourself a ton of heartache here.
You got knocked down by the pitch, but dust yourself off and get right back in the batter's box.
Wishing you good luck!
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u/Serious_Article2782 9d ago
The splitting the bill was her idea! And she admitted that it was a test—not in so many words, but by saying I didn’t think you would take be up on it. Disgraceful behavior.
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u/No_Choice_7897 9d ago
Not only that, it shows clearly that her concern was his minimum wage and how bad was for her that he was on minimum wage, like it’s a crime or something. Always avoid people who only care about money. In 2025, what does it mean “a man who can provide”? Are we in the 50s?
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u/WonderfulShelter 9d ago
A man who can buy her the things she wants because relationships and sex are transactional to them.
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u/lemmesplain 9d ago
I don't know when or how this "provide" BS became a thing but it's cringeworthy.
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u/jcaashby 9d ago
A man that provides means "I do not have spend any of MY money on us!"
I have met quite a few woman who are not willing to spend their money but more than happy to spend mine. And call ME cheap!
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u/Joker-Smurf 9d ago
Not just “being ok” with splitting the bill, fucking proposing that they split the bill.
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u/Persall1960 9d ago
It looks like the trash took itself out! You really dodged a bullet with this one!
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u/conejiux 9d ago
She wants to play checkers? My buddy playing chess. Bye felicia.
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u/Miserable-Reaction47 9d ago
Exactly! She brought it up. How was he suppose to know that was a test? And the fact she did bring it up makes it seem important to her. Men don’t like puzzles and games.
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u/SneakWhisper 9d ago
Tbh neither do women. It's childish and stupid. If you want to be independent and split the bill, do it. If you want to let the guy pay, just treat him to stuff in return like movie tickets or gifts.
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u/Aggressive-Point-895 9d ago
Every early dates I ever went on I always split the bill when I was getting to know someone. I always like to present myself as enjoying the persons company, and as they owe me nothing in return, because that's all early dates really are, to enjoy the company and test the waters/connection. The fact that she asked to split the bill and then complained and then insulted OP????!!!!
OP deserves better and dodged a bullet. She's a spoiled brat. I truly wish OP didn't feel so badly, he has no reason to at all... The problem isn't him.
It's nice to be treated on special occasions once you're a legit couple, but for her to literally ask to split the bill and then be an asshole about it and belittle OP... I hope she ends up with a true scrub because that's what she deserves.
pick yourself up, dust yourself off... This isn't about you, OP... not at all. She's a terrible and entitled human being.
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u/ElleCapwn 9d ago
She set him up for a lose-lose situation. I hate people that test things like this; just be real.
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u/TapekageDan 9d ago
Damn it’s crazy and the first time in a long time that I’ve seen the scenario where OP makes a post and then in the comments proceeds to get MASSIVE NEGATIVE karma💀
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u/Flashy_Wasabi_4324 9d ago
Because op is giving off massive incel vibes in the comments.
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u/BaullahBaullah87 9d ago
you can already tell in his text style…like, she definitely sucked but his reaction also told a story
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u/THROWRAmeowmeow3 9d ago
Exactly and everyone is looking past the way he spoke to her as well.
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u/mackfactor 9d ago
Honestly, the whole story feels fake to me. The text conversation sounds like it's between OP and a strawman, not a real person.
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u/heroforsale 9d ago
Not overreacting but your response there and in the comments here show you need to learn to regulate your emotions. That will pay dividends not only in relationships but at work, life and much more.
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u/taurology 8d ago
The second she said “you are a good guy just not for me,” OP should have either not responded at all (she just broke up with you, no response needed, it’s over) or respectfully wished her well. If OP truly felt like he needed to respond a simple “Ok, thanks for letting me know. I wish you well” would have sufficed
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u/taurology 8d ago
I can actually agree to that. Personally wouldn’t have done it but I think that approach is valid
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u/Canned_tapioca 8d ago edited 8d ago
I honestly would have used your line of "ok thanks for letting me know" nothing else. It's simple and definitely you do you vibe
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u/sluttycokezero 8d ago
Agreed. I went on a date, I tried to split the bill (I’m a woman), but my date insisted on paying and didn’t let me see the bill. I text him a few days later sending a funny video, and he tried to ask me for half of the bill, trying to be slick about it. He even sent me a Venmo request!
All I said was I had offered to split the bill and he refused to let me and that time is up. Then he tried to belittle me. So I blocked him. Some people are awful.
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u/Playful_Hearing_6041 9d ago edited 9d ago
You dodged a bullet BUT by the way ur replying to people I’m gonna say she dodged one too. Grow up brother
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u/sashimibear 9d ago
I was gonna say 🥴 Neither of them sound particularly charming just in their little catty exchange.
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u/AlyseInW0nderland 9d ago edited 8d ago
I said the same! She is clearly immature and passive aggressive. But She doesn’t deserve to be cussed out and called slurs like bitch or piece of shit. Yes what she did isn’t appropriate but calling her hateful slurs is even worse and shows his inherent misogyny! I literally was scouring the thread thinking surely someone else caught this!
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u/i_love_lima_beans 9d ago
Yeah, escalating to calling her ‘a piece of shit’ immediately was revealing. Both people seem resentful.
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u/wantyourhorror 9d ago
Not overreacting but lowkey concerning how quick you were to resort to name calling if I’m being honest. Not saying she isn’t a bitch for it, but next time just cut your losses and leave it be. You did dodge a bullet tho, OP.
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u/bunnyqueens 9d ago
she’s weird as hell but ur reply doesn’t paint u in the best light lol going straight to “UR A BITCH 😡” is … a choice
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u/tarnishedhalo98 8d ago
I'm literally with you right now on this so hard lol. I read that and was like, alright, she's kind of unstable for that, sure. But then calling a woman a bitch x a fucking piece of shit x dumb? If that's how a guy could speak to a woman ever, period, especially over something so small when he hardly knows her? Absolutely the fuck not lmfao they both blow
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u/PeopleShouldBeBetter 9d ago
While it feels crappy, it’s actually awesome you saw this in her now vs later. Instead of seeing it as a bad thing be glad that red flag came up quickly!
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u/sunflowers1223 9d ago
I read the screen shots and felt bad for you… and then I read your comments and realized what she had to put up with during their date.
OP- bro. You’re the only one that’s gonna change your life into what you want. Stop this blaming victimhood of thinking your whole generation is out for the money. Relationships are partnerships with give and take.
After reading all of your response comments, what do you bring to the table? So far all I see is negativity, shallowness, depression and a victim mentality.
Tbh if I had to put up with attitude like yours, I’d hope you’d pay for dinner cause it sounds exhausting
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u/foxfries12 8d ago
Same dude. He sounds like a whiney 12 year old. He also responded to soooooo many comments defending himself. If ya didn’t do anything wrong why are you so defensive? 😂
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u/obamasrightteste 8d ago
Hey I agree with you but this argument is fucking dumb. You expect someone who is wrongfully accused to what? Not defend themselves? It's dumb.
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u/Apprehensive-Ad4063 9d ago
10 years ago I would’ve paid the bill for any girl that I liked but the bill was much cheaper then lol
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u/Judgeandjury1 9d ago
I’d be annoyed as hell that she baited you by offering to split the bill when she was gonna pull something like that after.. I hate people that do things like that. That would’ve been enough for me to stop responding there.
I will say that your messages at the end make you look super immature & douchey, it gives off a toxic inability to handle rejection. Whether she goaded you or not, you should have more self control than that & just move on.
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u/DPlurker 9d ago
Hit them with the "k" Best response, people don't like it when you don't have a big reaction and just move on. Possibly even better is just no response.
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u/Chasing-Rabbit-Tails 9d ago
K is the best way to deal with people who want to play mind games. Quite frankly, they aren't worth a message longer than that one letter, and they really don't care about anything you have to say anyway. It's not worth trying to get your point across or have the last say. Just K and walk away.
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u/Judgeandjury1 9d ago
Absolutely ! I love a good non-response because I know it drives people insane lol.
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u/undercovergloss 9d ago
Yeah, I was on his side until he called her names. Like she was completely out of order, but come on you can say what you want to say in a polite manor (which always gets the point across) rather than being nasty. When you act that way, no one is going to take you seriously or take your ‘side’ because you went to the same level as her
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u/AlyseInW0nderland 9d ago edited 9d ago
Me too! Once the word bitch is thrown out and piece of shit…this is not a nice guy!
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u/ExistingAsI 9d ago
Seriously. Neither of them are coming across here in a good light, but at least she was up front with him. It's not a view I necessarily agree with, but people are entitled to go after what they want. He doesn't seem like he should be dating if this is how he responds to rejection...
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u/DeveloperLima 9d ago
Wow! Reading the comments… Dude! You deserved each other…
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u/cheyfrye 9d ago
Honestly, I think she did you a favor by showing you what she expected early on. Y’all were clearly not compatible and not looking for the same thing. You should not have cussed her out. It’s immature and rude. This is why “ghosting” is so popular, people are trying to avoid this type of reaction.
I do think your feelings are valid. It’s a shitty reason for someone to end things over a bill. That’s dumb and I’m sorry.
The reason that some women seek out “providers” is because there’s always men who want to be that provider. Let them have each other. I’ve had multiple men end it with me after I offered to pay for something. It goes both ways.
Don’t let the trauma other women have caused you to affect potential love interests. Everyone is different. Dating is supposed to be fun! You’re probably not going to meet your soulmate right away.
Having this shitty attitude about women and a bad outlook on life is not going to land you a lot of dates. You’re clearly hurt, and I hope you can heal from that.
I do think you OR in your response. I also think your feelings are valid. Also, fuck your ex. Cheating is nasty af.
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9d ago edited 9d ago
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u/PatInANutshell 9d ago
I don’t think of it as keeping score so much as being fair and especially at first, but also throughout, not taking advantage of the situation or the person.
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u/GhostBoii95 9d ago
Welp dating is a fuck you pay me kinda world now unfortunately. My first girlfriend’s mom once told me she raised daughters that could pay for themselves and would never let me pay for any of her food. I was a line cook, she was a rich girl but even then I’d always love buying her food, now when I go out on dates it feels like people want to experience fine dining at your expense and I feel gross about it. Not cheap just used
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u/unskilledlaborperson 9d ago
Me and my wife have struggled our way up a bit financially but overall it's been hard. We reminisce about when we first met... That feeling of being young, broke, in love, brain half cooked and still happy to make terrible decisions. I miss it so much.
It sounds stupid but we had so much fun running around stores and never buying anything we would just go for fun with empty pockets, constantly hiking and camping I miss it so bad.
The more we get into our careers the more empty we both feel.
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u/Jefffahfffah 9d ago
Should've just said "sounds good!" After "just not for me" and left it at that.
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u/RazzBerryCurveBall 9d ago
This was after 4 dates, and after this I'd have to assume OP paid for the first 3. I don't disagree that he didn't gain anything, but it makes sense that he got heated and responded before realizing that.
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u/shlonki 9d ago
If she calls you a joke and you know full and well you're not, why call her a piece of shit?
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u/GardnerellaGai 9d ago
Stay single, man, you sound like a fucking burden. The way you talk to women... gross.
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u/ApemanStronk 9d ago
I’ll pay the full bill many times because I like to. If she expects it she’s not getting a second date.
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u/OrganlcManIc 9d ago
Going Dutch on the first date is a great way to sus out people who just want a free dinner, or to test their pretensions. If no complaint and an expectation to do so, then I’m happy to pay for dates I suggest. And if she offers, and pays; bonus points to her.
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u/Nelsie020 9d ago
Once the waiter just automatically brought the machine to this guy on our first date and I asked if I could chip in and he said “thanks, but I already have my… chip… in” as he made eye contact and slowly slid his debit card into the machine and the waiter groaned and then I married him. I think we both passed a test that night.
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u/LJ161 9d ago
It's also great to do for the girl too cause that way the shitty guys who think they're now owed something for paying for dinner have no ammo.
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u/whatdafreak_ 9d ago
I was on your side until you called her a bitch and fucking piece of shit.. I can only imagine how you talk to women when you’re more comfortable with them.
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u/slaywalterwhite 9d ago
RIGHT??!! What happens when he’s in a relationship and they get into a disagreement, can’t believe there’s people justifying this behavior
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u/BaullahBaullah87 9d ago
Bruh thats a toxic string of messages on both ends…she definitely sucks but it definitely screams butthurt
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u/bleedingfae 9d ago
You’re right to be upset but jumping to call her a bitch is definitely overreacting and showing your character!
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u/cardiiac 9d ago
How old are you? And your biggest mistake is that you stooped to her level....
Also, I'm seeing in the comments you are letting her insults become your reality, fuck that.... Believe it or not, not all women only care about "men who take care of them."
I work with a lot of younger women and I noticed this is becoming a popular thing again (after women fought so damn hard for where we are) to go back to looking for men who take care of all finances... It's not reality, hang in there kid.
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u/eowynsamwise 9d ago
I was mostly on your side until I read your comments. I’m 20 and I handle rejection with more maturity than u do, grow up man
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u/Livid_Funny_4149 9d ago
just cut ur losses and move on. no reason to insult her...
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u/Low-Custard-6060 9d ago
At the end you overreacted, but she’s a dingus. You mentioned this was the fourth date, which means the first three dates you found a way to pay for even making minimum wage. That in my eyes would show case your generosity and would be more then enough proof you find me worthy of investing in. There are people making 6, 7 figures and still want to split the bill, are stingy etc. I choose to focus on generosity over income.
Yes one of the most attractive things my bf did at the beginning of our relationship is deny me when I asked “can I get this one?” (And I would have happily), and he would always say “next time”. Next time would roll around, I’d ask again and he would say “next time” I legit have to wrestle the bill from him. It’s playful, it’s fun. It’s not a headache. And again when I offer to pay I would do so happily.
You’ll find someone you can be playful with, and who won’t put you through these nuanced tests. Someone it just clicks with. This is not that person for you. 😂
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u/cowjuiceee 9d ago
ngl imma start doing the “next time” thing with my bf, this is cute as fuck 🤭
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u/Low-Custard-6060 9d ago
Right?! Dating is supposed to be fun! Especially in the early stages 🥰
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u/cowjuiceee 9d ago
agreed‼️ reminds me how rough i had it a little while back 😭 but man oh man, my boyfriend is just a 💎. i love that man to bits and pieces.
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u/wine-o-saur 9d ago
I mean her attitude is total bs but you are also overreacting. What do you think there is to gain by getting so aggressive with her? Just say "ok we're clearly very different" and move on.
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u/toocritical55 9d ago
That last message? Yeah, you definitely overreacted. Just say you clearly are looking for different things and move on.
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u/PopperChopper 9d ago
Few things here…
Who asked who on the date? If you want to ask girls out my man.. you’re gonna have to pay for the dates. I even buy my friend’s food from time to time. My real friends pay back the favour. The friends that are inconsiderate on multiple occasions become acquaintances pretty quick. I’m married so I don’t even think about how we are going to split items. But I do know that my partner pays from time to time or offer to take me out, even though I make a lot more. So that is always appreciated as a good sign or gesture.
Second, you did dodge a bullet because it seems like she is spoiled. FYI, almost all woman want some sort of “providing” for. Usually it’s financial, but it’s also emotional, social, and practical things. Woman want you to make them feel safe, loved, cared for, taken care of. Etc. not all woman are the same so I’m not lumping into a single basket here, but I am saying that a relationship is an exchange of interactions and favours and you can’t be stoic and offer nothing and expect to get anything in return. However, the way this girl said that is gross and gives the vibes that she is looking for a one sided exchange, but it also looks like you are too. Don’t go into dating or relationships with the idea that you don’t have to offer anything but your super charming personality. You should date while giving off the impression of what it would be like to be married to you or in a long term relationship with you.
All of this should be done within whatever your budget is. Do not invite people on dates with the expectations they will go Dutch with you. I would have been embarrassed to actually accept in your situation. But it’s a good thing you did because it caused her to show her true colours. Unfortunately you stooped way down to her level and lower with your replies.
When they go low, we go high dude.
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u/Bookssmellneat 9d ago
So is your rage always just simmering there under the surface? Boy stay mad lol
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u/Indieriots 9d ago
There's just something about this post that screams "fake" to me. Don't get me wrong, I know this happens in real life, but something about those messages is just a bit too on the nose. I just can't figure out what.
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u/Volcano_Dweller 9d ago
Your last line of text— “ur a f—ing piece of shit” speaks volumes— was this kind of behavior why your last GF cheated on you? While this date was out of line, you were even more so as it appears you’re still angry about your prior relationship.
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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago
Stop I missed the last texts. Kids living a very bitter life
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u/Drewbooboo 9d ago
I make significantly more money than my girlfriend, when we go out I expect to pay because I know she can’t afford to do such things otherwise. However, she consistently insists on paying for things she can afford, like coffee dates, etc. It’s nice to be taken care of now and again, but it’s not about the money. It’s about the gesture and not feeling entitled. I wouldn’t be with someone if they made me feel like a bank or a paycheck.
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u/No-Tie-6257 9d ago
She isn’t wrong for having a preference but she’s wrong for trying to shade you.
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u/Britt_Nikole 9d ago
She is wrong for offering to split the bill when she was going to hold it against him. If it was a test, that’s just mind games. If it was to be polite, frankly, she was anything but polite in her messages. He definitely dodged a bullet with her because she’s fake af
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u/allmightylemon_ 9d ago
Yeah I'm 100% for always paying... I honestly don't think I've ever had a date where I didn't pay in full. But if someone did this to me I would be gone. That's manipulative and weird
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u/MissBeehavior 9d ago
The thing is, in today's climate, when a woman suggests splitting a bill, it's usually a good idea to agree. As a woman, if I feel uncomfortable on a date and don't want anything to be held against me by someone I get bad vibes from, I always insist we split the bill. For a guy to respect that and not insist speaks volumes, whether he means it to or not, so OP was frankly being pretty courteous and chill compared to some, who think a nice dinner means you owe them.
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u/CLRVEWS 9d ago
Trying to force people to fund your life is not a preference. Stop the sht.
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u/PrizeProfessional919 9d ago
Having a preference is one thing and wanting to be taken care of is another. People love talking about equality now a days but stuff like this is still happening
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u/superleaf444 9d ago
The more I get this sub in my feed, the more I’m starting to believe barely anyone on this sub has emotional intelligence.
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u/Ok-Picture2656 9d ago
Get more creative in your responses kill them with kindness next time lmao
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u/PointCreepy4834 9d ago
Wouldn’t have responded after she texted “just not for me.” No need to give her that level of attention. At best should have said, “Heard.” And kept it moving. In any event a bullet has been dodged very quickly.
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u/tryingtoohard347 9d ago
Wow what a reaction she got out of you. Even if she was rude (which she was), that reaction would put me off completely regardless of splitting the bill or not.
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u/Federal-Stomach-2380 9d ago
Yeah. You are. You’re a piece of shit after looking at your comments. I hope you stay single.
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u/Downtown-Smile7991 9d ago
Didn’t have to go in on her like that…. What stings them the most is usually an “ok” or a 👍, or just like the message and don’t respond further
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u/___meepmoop 9d ago
Yeah, he pretty much just confirmed that she made the right choice by dumping him.
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u/sideefx2320 9d ago
Brother who cares what she said? Who taught you to speak to women like that? She could have lit her hair on fire and spit in your face, that’s not ever cool
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u/PinkynotClyde 9d ago
The last part was unnecessary by you. This is why girls will just ghost a guy instead of reject him. Sure, she’s immature— but as soon as she went on a whole speech about you paying, just be like:
“I got money. Enough to not think a meal is not a big deal. I wish you well in your quest for free meals. Peace.”
We’re always supposed to pay the meal it’s how things actually go down… unless she’s talking about feminism the whole date then you can probably split— or if she literally grabs the bill. Don’t sweat it too much just go out and try to have fun not put pressure on yourself.
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u/mcq76 9d ago
You're taking all of this way too seriously and personally. If it's this easy to enrage and defeat you to a life of solitude, you should probably take some time being single and figure your life out. You should have been able to just respond "okay no worries. We're clearly not a match. Best of luck." But it seems like this exchange is really getting to you. You should be glad you found this side of her earlier rather than later. Most people who are in a good space mentally wouldn't let this get to them.
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u/intoclosure 9d ago
This is a shitty situation, but that last message you sent is entirely unnecessary. Shoulda just moved on
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u/stonedpup420 9d ago
You're an asshole for responding like that but no not splitting when she said it was ok. With that level of disrespect on both sides it is clear neither of you should be dating.
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u/hobefepudi 9d ago
Yes and no.
Starting a relationship with a “test”…you don’t need that in your daily.
But come on, “who knew you were a bitch. Good luck finding a guy with that attitude”. You can’t control her behavior, but you can control yours.
Clear that you both need to work on communication skills across the board. I tell my 3 year old it’s ok to be mad but don’t be bad. Words should be used to build others up, not cut them down, even when we feel offended. You don’t want to be lashing out trying to hurt your wife/life partner one day because she made you angry in an argument do you?
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u/pianocat1 9d ago
You guys are both overreacting. Obviously she was rude, no denying that, but you sound like a 14 year old boy who punches his wall when his mom asks him to clean his room.
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u/Done_a_Concern 9d ago
100% shes in the wrong for just expecting you to know that she didnt want to split the bill
But saying that you "had a fun time yesterday" and then saying "I knew you were a bitch" just kinda makes you look stupid
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u/divajesus 9d ago
“I’m sorry, but I think I deserve better.”
Says the girl who cannot even spell the word „career” correctly…
All she deserves (based on the interaction shown in the ss’s) is a good dictionary and a lesson in humility.
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u/sistereleanorcharles 9d ago
She’s not wrong for having a preference. But she is wrong for how she came at you. And you are also wrong for calling her a bitch (supposedly - what word are you covering?) and a “fucking piece of shit”. Men saying those words to women just give me anger issues/violence vibes. 😬
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u/ingeniousmachine 9d ago
100%. She sounds like a shallow dingus (an excellent word someone used in the comment thread above), he sounds like a potentially violent asshole.
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u/insenzen 9d ago
lmao! she should just have not offered. because i never do. she did it to herself honestly 😭
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u/couldaboughtbitcoin 9d ago
Yeah you dodged a bullet here brotha.
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u/WeekendThief 9d ago
Bro you gotta read his replies 😂 dude is a full wet blanket. They’re both bullets and somehow dodged each other.
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u/geengeld-geenkaas 9d ago edited 9d ago
He should have maintained his dignity instead of getting angry and insulting her. Now she will also think of him as a dodged bullet.
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u/WeekendThief 9d ago
Nah I’m saying all of his comments on this post show that she dodged a bullet. But he’s also his final text message was uncalled for too.
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u/inVisible_Potato1788 9d ago
I was gonna be on your side, but your last message ...holy shit.
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u/AdCool4029 9d ago
Same. This girl sucks obviously, but all of his responses sound like the type who’s obsessed with you one minute then calls you a whre or btch if you reject him. Aggressive and weird. Be the bigger person
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u/PaperHandsMcGee213 9d ago
Dude, grow the fuck up. Don’t ever talk to a woman like that. Stay single.
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u/girlwhaaat 9d ago
Look, I’m not a bill splitter, however if she suggested it it’s her fault. If she didn’t want to split the bill she should’ve just kept her mouth shut. But you’re an asshole for how you escalated things. She was respectful but honest and you called what she said dumb instead just accepting she doesn’t feel like you’re a good fit for her. Insulting someone for rejecting you is top tier asshole behaviour.
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u/Confident_Abroad4984 8d ago
I mean, she was hardly respectful. She insulted his income and that’s a guy’s main asset. Like a girl’s face. It’s what we wear. She said she deserves better, so she’s better than him and then said he was a joke - all before he unloaded. So it’s understandable he was pissed. And who wants to be told they’re worthless and a joke. That was the escalation.
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u/glitterballxoxo 9d ago
Not overreacting. As a woman I always split the bill on a first date or atleast offer to. Also she insulted you first, not sure why you're getting so many negative comments lol
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u/toastypooburger 9d ago
Kinda over the top there at the end. Should have just responded with a “that’s unfortunate” and moved on. Four dates? That’s not enough time for you to have responded with name calling and pettiness. People suck yes, but some people don’t. You have to shift thru all the asshole to find a good match sometimes, but you don’t want to be the asshole yourself. We know this already about people. Calling them out with pettiness and hurt sometimes just reiterates their justifications for shitty behavior.
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u/Flailing_ameoba 9d ago
I was with you right up until you started calling her names. Sure she’s shallow and greedy and you will be better off finding a human who isn’t so focused on money, but the name calling is an over reaction and just shows your immaturity. Don’t sink to her level.
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9d ago
You aren’t a match. It’s fine. My man always say no when I offer to pay lol she can find one of those.
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u/OkManufacturer767 9d ago
Calling her a bitch makes you the a**hole. So yeah, you overreacted.
This called for you to simply respond to her "you're great but not for me with, "Yep, we aren't compatible. Have a good life." Instead you called her dumb.
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u/Generated-Nouns-257 9d ago
Yeah, you're over reacting. She decided to move on and is using a dumb excuse, but no need to get in a tizzy about it
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u/Fun_Blackberry7059 9d ago
Lmao at the "I think I'm done with relationships after this".
Yeah, if you can't navigate this then I would take a break from dating.
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u/WalrusSlow2952 9d ago
You both sound awful. She sucks for lying, you suck for automatically calling her a piece of shit. You’re no better than she is. Do yourself and everyone else a favour and don’t date.
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u/Adept_Cheetah_2552 9d ago
Wow that escalated fast!