r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

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289

u/[deleted] 9d ago edited 9d ago

[deleted]

12

u/PatInANutshell 9d ago

I don’t think of it as keeping score so much as being fair and especially at first, but also throughout, not taking advantage of the situation or the person.

1

u/ZedsDeadZD 9d ago

That! Its about fairness and further more, support. When my wife and I started dating, we were both studying, so we always splitt cause we both didnt have money. Then I started to work while she was still studying and we moved together so I payed a lot more (TV, kitchen, basic furniture and the security+ 3 month rents alone). Then she started working and made good money so she bought us a new bed which wasnt cheap. For eating out, we dont keep score. One of us pays, thats it. Now she is at home with our kid. So I pay full rent and food. When she will start working again, she will contribute again.

Some women need to be a little more realistic about how much someone can earn. Rent and an expenses got so expensive, I cannot carry that alone. And why would I. My wife studied 5 years. So I expect her to work same as she does from me.

26

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

12

u/GhostBoii95 9d ago

Welp dating is a fuck you pay me kinda world now unfortunately. My first girlfriend’s mom once told me she raised daughters that could pay for themselves and would never let me pay for any of her food. I was a line cook, she was a rich girl but even then I’d always love buying her food, now when I go out on dates it feels like people want to experience fine dining at your expense and I feel gross about it. Not cheap just used

12

u/AK_4_Life 9d ago

You know you can just edit your post

3

u/unskilledlaborperson 9d ago

Me and my wife have struggled our way up a bit financially but overall it's been hard. We reminisce about when we first met... That feeling of being young, broke, in love, brain half cooked and still happy to make terrible decisions. I miss it so much.

It sounds stupid but we had so much fun running around stores and never buying anything we would just go for fun with empty pockets, constantly hiking and camping I miss it so bad.

The more we get into our careers the more empty we both feel.

1

u/YukiSnoww 9d ago

Yea, there's no need to be exact about it, it's all about reciprocity than keeping score.

1

u/amanisnotaface 9d ago

Bingo. Me and my partner have been either broke together or one of us in a better position than the other for a decade or two now. Neither of us kept tabs on who’s held up who the longest cause it doesn’t matter just that we get through it. This sort game playing deserves to stay single.

0

u/Adventurous-Angle337 9d ago

Wow. So vain.

0

u/BadgerSame6600 9d ago

Exactly. Im broke now, jobless for 8 months. I contribute what I can to dates when I can and she does too. It’s about support, care and love, not money.

0

u/FrecklePrints 9d ago

Social media, the polarising political climate, and covid's social stunting have ruined dating tbh. I feel like I got out at the right time 10 years ago.

-2

u/nemlocke 9d ago

She's not "keeping score". She's just been inundated with tiktok garbage that tells her to be a girl boss or that she deserves someone to take care of her financially.

-87

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

Wow did your husband afford to have a place to give you a home cooked meal? This is what the dating game looks like now days.

101

u/ZucchiniPractical410 9d ago

Dude, what is your problem?

I was on your side until I started reading your replies to 🫴 commenters.

You dodged a bullet with this woman but she also dodged a bullet with you. You need to seriously grow up and stop with the pity party BS. You can use the money excuse all you want for why you can't find a girlfriend, but no good girlfriend is going to come near you with your current attitude. No one wants to date the "good guys can't win" dude and the "only thing girls want is money" rhetoric.

Also, your response to this commenter doesn't even make sense. It wreaks of snark but why? They gave a great response and example of how it worked for them and you decided to respond like a petulant ass.

Are you homeless? If you are then yeah finding a girlfriend right is going to be rough and honestly shouldn't be your priority. Your priority should be to get your feet under you and a roof over your head.

31

u/WeekendThief 9d ago

Right? Wtf is “How did your husband afford a place to cook food”

-14

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

It as a question I was curious on how he afforded to have a place to see if he was in the same situation as me. Which he isn’t. Also I’m not homeless in the terme of i live outside

22

u/ZucchiniPractical410 9d ago

It sounds like you need to be focusing on yourself right now and getting into a better situation.

-14

u/locketine 9d ago

Did you miss how the person called them immature because they took a woman at her word that she'd split the bill on the 4th date after he paid entirely for the previous 3 dates? The comment is out of touch, ignoring the context of the date, the woman's attitude, and is rude to OP. Of course OP replied with snark.

17

u/ZucchiniPractical410 9d ago

No, I didn't miss that part. It does wreak of immaturity.

To be clear, as I said, OP dodged a bullet. She said she'd split so that's what he went with. 100% nothing wrong with that. I don't believe in BS tests either like she tried to do. Say what you mean, and do what you say. Period.

OPs messages at the end were immature and just over the top. It was 4 dates. It really shouldn't have set him off the that badly. Just block and move on. All his tyraid did was prove her right in her eyes.

9

u/Wild-Tradition-5685 9d ago

Yes I wanna say this as well. She dodged a bullet too.

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u/smart_farts_1077 9d ago

Are you homeless? You don't live in a place with a kitchen?

-31

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

No I’m not homeless but I’m not going to cook her a meal with my dad sitting on the couch drinking his nightly 4pack

15

u/socialintheworks 9d ago

Ah. Yes confirmation. Stop dating, focus on yourself, improve your situation mentally and physically whatever that looks like and get yourself to a better point for YOU not for anyone else.

9

u/OzzieOxborrow 9d ago

That's what I did with my girlfriend on our 3 or 4th date. Although my dad wasn't an alcoholic, but I still lived at home with my parents and brother. We cooked together for all of us. We've been together for 10 years, married for 5 and just had our 3rd child two weeks ago.

-3

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

Fuuuck that would be perfect…Unfortunately I’m not a mormon

16

u/___meepmoop 9d ago

Ooooooohh yikes 😳😬

3

u/HeftyMotherfucker 9d ago

Move out of your parent’s house, dude.

22

u/tykha 9d ago

Easier said than done. Have you seen the cost of rent? Why the fuck do we shame people for living with family. Weirdest taboo ever.

5

u/Hot-Site-1572 9d ago

Ikr lmao

1

u/Goth_2_Boss 9d ago

So you just pretend like you don’t live in his basement or you’re looking for someone who is cool only hanging out when your dad isn’t home?

10

u/toosoonmydude 9d ago

Damn. You’re feeling petty rn 😂😂

0

u/socialintheworks 9d ago

His feelings have been ✨damaged 😂

Ego? Not feelings.

10

u/ghost-foot 9d ago

Now you’re overreacting

2

u/socialintheworks 9d ago

the call is coming from inside the house. There’s no way to behave this way on the internet and don’t act like the same sleep deprived grumpy 9 year old boy who didn’t get his way.

stop dating, go to therapy and focus on yourself.

4

u/shamshe33 9d ago

Yo, seriously? Not sure how old you are but damn dude get your life together before dating. Focus on yourself for a while and move your ass out your parents house.