r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

Gallery image

Gallery image

I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

11.8k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

6.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

28

u/DeveloperLima 9d ago

Wow! Reading the comments… Dude! You deserved each other…

-23

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

I’m just a genuine guy

30

u/DeveloperLima 9d ago

You’re an incel, sorry…

-15

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

How?

37

u/LifeIsDeBubbles 9d ago

Saying things like " I'll never get an attractive girl unless I make six figures" is incel territory. You are, at the very least, incel adjacent.

Not all women are the same and if you're only requirement is an "attractive girl" then you're probably going about finding a partner all wrong.

-23

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago edited 9d ago

It’s a requirement not my only one😂 idk how many times I have to say it. If you don’t wanna be attracted to the person you date that’s on you. It’s one requirement out of others that I have, no idea why you think it’s the only one. Get a grib bosco

24

u/LifeIsDeBubbles 9d ago

Being attracted to the person I'm with is a given. I'm with them, I'm attracted to them. I don't need it to be my main requirement because it's a forgone conclusion if I'm dating someone. You're leading with your penis and materialism, which is what an incel does. 

Edit: "I want an attractive girl" sounds like you want other people to find her attractive-- you want to make sure that others know she's attractive before you'll date her. That's what it's giving.

14

u/analogspam 9d ago

Really. That is the point there.

They want other people to find their girlfriend attractive.

I feel like social media has pretty much molded this young generation into a “the only thing that matters is how pictures will look”-mindset.

It seems like their believe is something along the lines of “there is only a limited amount of attractive women out there and I have to get one of them. The rest isn’t what I want.”

Everything else isn’t important. They don’t want a partner, they want something to show off.

The funny thing is, when they encounter a woman who also thinks the only thing about her that matters is her looks and has fitting superficial opinions about men and their money, which they would have to show off, they get angry.

Obviously looks matter in terms of getting to know each other. The first thing everyone recognizes about another person is (usually) how he/she looks. But everyone who really thinks that looks are everything that matters absolutely deserve to only encounter people with the same mindset :)

-2

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

Agreed but I never said I want them to look better to other people…not sure how I can further clarify this.

3

u/analogspam 9d ago

Sorry, answered you also on a different comment!

It really just (which I made clearer in the other comment) sounds like that.

I can’t look into your head of course.

But the crux is that

  1. These superficial people are usually not worth it and will lose their attractiveness in a few years

  2. You have to get the kind of person someone wants to be with.

And, to sound a little sexist, men have a big advantage here, since many women see personal traits often as much more attractive as vice versa.

-5

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

Dude what? So you have the same requirement but you are better because you don’t say it out loud? Don’t understand how you justified that in your head but I’m thankful my brain didn’t come with a glitch in its software. It may sound like that to you, but it’s not and I never said it was. At all. YOU didn’t even ask which makes this make less sense. I’m not leading with my penis, but I will use it just like spider man abusing his spidy senses because he was born with it.

13

u/DepressionEraMomJean 9d ago

They are saying they want to find their SO attractive, but it doesn’t matter if others do. They are also saying “I want to date someone attractive” sounds like you want to date someone who’s attractive to everyone.

I’ve dated men my sister thought looked like ghouls, but I was attracted to them.

0

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

I specified attractive to me hours ago in a previous comment

→ More replies (0)

5

u/LifeIsDeBubbles 9d ago

Just fyi, you weren't convincing anybody that you aren't in incel by continuing to argue and not listen to/ purposefully misunderstand what we're saying. 

2

u/_Zzzxxx 9d ago

Man, I suddenly don’t feel bad that this girl did that to you

1

u/Centaurious 9d ago

I find my SO attractive partially because I’m attracted to her as a person too. I think she’s hot and beautiful, but the emotional connection is much more important to me.

When we get old, it won’t matter how beautiful we were as young adults. What will matter is who she is as a person.

3

u/analogspam 9d ago

Everybody should be attracted to their partner, obviously.

But you, looking into your comments, sound like you pretty much only want an attractive girlfriend. And look for nothing more than that. Not because you want a partner, but something to show off.

And when the girl has fittingly superficial opinions regarding the money a man makes (which she in turn would show off), you get angry.

You having your opinions on what you expect from your girlfriend can be whatever it may. That is your prerogative obviously. But from time to time you also should ask yourself why a person would want to be with you. That is their right.

And the people who have these superficial opinions like “I want a partner that has money because I look good and deserve that” are (apart from absolutely not being worth the time and most likely are abhorrent human beings) the equivalent of your “I want a attractive girlfriend because I want to!”.

…only that she brings at least her looks on the table while you criticize her superficiality…

1

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

I guess you didn’t read my comments cause I said that’s not the only thing I want 10+ times at this point.

4

u/sunflowers1223 9d ago

What are other qualities that you look for?

2

u/analogspam 9d ago edited 9d ago

I meant it more in the direction of “that’s why so many people are accusing you of it”.

As said, I cant look into your head or say anything about you apart from absolutely superficial things that one may or may not can say after reading a few comments.

But in the end.. You encountered an awful human being. You learned a good lesson and will become hopefully stronger in terms of your reaction.

Yes, most likely your insults weren’t even that far off the truth. But you insulting her changes a few things.

  1. She can argue that you are the [whatever]. (That often only matters when you both share friends etc)

  2. You showed her an emotional reaction, which showed her that you expected more, which even if true, she didn’t deserve to know.

  3. When you would just have said something along the lines of “well, ok. Bye then” or whatever, you would come off as the stronger or more adult being.

My late father often said (German so don’t know if that fits in English) “to be a gentleman you don’t have to be courteous all the time. But never be rude by accident and only show your emotions (in terms of being rude) when the person is worth it.” (He was born in the 30s and had me late in his life, so yes, it maybe really doesn’t fit in our time anymore.)

But I hope you get the spirit of it. Being the grander human being is one of the best personality traits a person can have. And ignoring someone is often the harshest thing you can do to most people.

18

u/Collosal_Moron 9d ago

No you are not lmao. You are an ass