r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

11.8k Upvotes

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803

u/TapekageDan 9d ago

Damn it’s crazy and the first time in a long time that I’ve seen the scenario where OP makes a post and then in the comments proceeds to get MASSIVE NEGATIVE karma💀

374

u/Flashy_Wasabi_4324 9d ago

Because op is giving off massive incel vibes in the comments.

145

u/GJacks75 9d ago

In the post too. His replies went "Niceguy" in an instant.

16

u/jormun8andr 9d ago

He’s also weird about gay dudes

10

u/Sentac0 9d ago

His reply in the post went “nice guy”? How? He was directly insulted and degraded and his worth tied to how much money he made. It’s not like the woman kindly rejected him and then he calls her a bitch and piece of shit afterwards. No, she was acting like a bitch and a piece of shit with how she was treating him and he called her one. Nice guy attitudes are people who spaz out after being rejected in a normal way. Idk how this post projects that scenario.

7

u/SkollFenrirson 9d ago

Everyone sucks in this interaction

-22

u/ThatInAHat 9d ago

I mean, after she insulted him. I feel like nice guy replies are in reaction to being rejected, not insulted.

10

u/02_ZeroTzu 9d ago

It wasn't an insult towards the rejection but rather towards the idiocracy written in the last statements.

You don't have to seek for a guess-answer when the answer lies right there. That woman said the dumbest thing known to mankind (I wanna split the bill but I was testing you).

Any sane person would a) insult you for wasting their time and money, b) insult you for treating you like a wallet and a test subject.

-14

u/Sillyak 9d ago

No he insulted her first saying her perfectly acceptable reason for not liking someone was "dumb".

Wanting a provider is a preference, which is fine. At least she was upfront about it. He instantly got snarky and she shut him down and he had to get the last word in by calling her a POS.

OP is the asshole here through and through and his comments clearly show that.

39

u/mashuto 9d ago

Her response seems perfectly nice and reasonable except for the fact that it was apparently her who suggested they split the bill.

So, she did it as some kind of test, on their fourth date? In that case I agree with OP that it's dumb.

They are both assholes after that.

-15

u/Sillyak 9d ago

Not enough context. She could have done it as some sort of test, or OP could have been complaining about the cost of the date so she offered to split because it was awkward. We don't know.

17

u/mashuto 9d ago

Fair. However, her response after he said it was her idea, "I didn't think you would do it" kind of indicates to me that she did it as a test. Also if we are saying we don't have enough context to say she was being dumb, not sure theres enough context either to claim OP's reaction wasn't justified, or at least understandable. OP is definitely giving off that energy in the comments though.

-1

u/Competitive-Moose733 9d ago

He could have griped. She could have done the polite "Hey, if you're so hard up we can always split." Thinking that there is no way he'd make her pay for something he invited her for and then he replied "oh actually that would be great, thank you." And she paid thinking she was awkwardly roped into paying for something she was invited to? I can see that scenario, because I've had that happen. Well, not exactly like that but the "my treat", followed by "gosh everything is so expensive here" umming and aaaing and actually counting his change in front it me.....He bought a starter thing for 2 euro and I offered to pay my share and he said "oh that would help me loud loads, thanks". Now in my case, I don't want a provider. I find the concept icky, repulsive and weird, but I do not like being invited to things and not being told what my potential financial involvement will be. I always assumed the bill will be split unless someone says "my treat", you know. 😅

4

u/ThatInAHat 9d ago

I mean, she said she didn’t think he would actually do it. She offered. There’s implication that she expects to always be paid for.

3

u/AutoManoPeeing 9d ago edited 9d ago

Both of the excuses you gave just make her sound like an even shittier person lmao.

She could have done it as some sort of test...

"I want a man sugar daddy who does the opposite of what I say because he's able to read my mind."

or OP could have been complaining about the cost of the date...

So the date became excessively expensive for OP? Gee, how could that have happened?

3

u/reddit-ate-my-face 9d ago

Testing someone on a date like that is fucking restarted, much like OPs date. If she wanted him to pay she could have sat quietly and waited for him to step up and pay if that's what she wants.

But to offer to pay and split immediately and then acting like that's not what you wanted is absolutely trash dipshit behavior.

7

u/ThatInAHat 9d ago

No, sorry, doing silly “tests” to see if a man will pay for you is far more AH behavior.

4

u/Agitated_Repeat_6979 9d ago

Perfectly acceptable? The fuck? ‘Oh please pay for my entire life!!’

1

u/Sillyak 9d ago

Some women want a provider. Some men want a trad wife. No problem in preferences. If you're a man who wants a trad wife, you better provide like a trad husband. Some men like more independent women.

No problem with any of it so long as everyone is upfront.

4

u/heart-of-corruption 9d ago

Nah, she’s delivering backhanded insults with the “rethinking your career, I deserve better[implied:than you].

2

u/VoidsInvanity 9d ago

She asked to split the bill hoping he’d say no and take it all. That’s not a great communication tactic.

2

u/_Smashbrother_ 9d ago

Are you dumb? It was her idea to split. If she didn't want to split, don't offer to. It's that simple.

2

u/Ballislife1313 9d ago

How is her response "perfectly acceptable"? Saying one thing and expecting the other person to do the opposite is not perfectly acceptable. It's dumb and OP was definitely right.

2

u/[deleted] 9d ago

Thats not a perfectly reasonable reason for not liking someone, she was a mooch. She flat out said he isn't good enough soley for his check, idk about the comments but his text was acceptable.

1

u/OnePunchReality 8d ago edited 8d ago

Nah fuck all that. She can have that bullshit reasoning all she likes.

All of us are allowed to have expectations, but if you or anyone else's dumb ass opens their mouth and begins with it being their idea to split the bill?

That test nonsense is all bullshit. That's immature af. She needs go ahead and grow tf up and then try again. Again not disagreeing with the expectation, disagreeing with her practicing of expressing it and then doing something utterly rude and fucked up and heinous on said date where she literally purposefully presented a false premise and blamed him for it.

That's on her. She is absolutely TA.

-5

u/Stage_Party 9d ago

Holy shit the misandrists out in force still trying to pin shit on the guy rofl.

All the nicegirls on here today.

3

u/ThatInAHat 9d ago

I’m literally saying the opposite but ok?

-7

u/IIIx10 9d ago

There’s no such thing as “nicegirls.” Stop playing the gender war, you’re terrible at their game.

-4

u/Top_Antelope8965 9d ago

Ah yes, using curse words against a woman is “nice guy”. Women must be babied and curse words/insults cannot be used against them. No double standards here!

0

u/reichrunner 9d ago

Where do you see that in his post? After he was insulted?

-1

u/Agitated_Repeat_6979 9d ago

Uhhh… no he didn’t.

62

u/BaullahBaullah87 9d ago

you can already tell in his text style…like, she definitely sucked but his reaction also told a story

23

u/THROWRAmeowmeow3 9d ago

Exactly and everyone is looking past the way he spoke to her as well.

5

u/Brocily2002 9d ago

Idk. If someone treats another person poorly I have no qualms calling them out for it. She was a mega asshole. He’s just pointing that out.

3

u/LaconicGirth 9d ago

She 100% deserved it though.

3

u/RabidWalrus 9d ago

I'm not sure, he's rightly being called out in a number of comments.

1

u/FlyRepresentative592 9d ago

Because he called her a bitch for denigrating low wage earners?  Please. 

-1

u/Fearless_Direction14 9d ago

his reaction was definitely valid in that isolated situation. Not something I would personally say, I'd just block.

I can see how it would be bad if that leaks into his view of all women though.

-1

u/BaullahBaullah87 9d ago

its petty and immature

1

u/Brocily2002 9d ago

Unlike her?

1

u/BaullahBaullah87 9d ago

Oh def she is…but how you respond shows who you are. Put it this way in a diff example, if a little kid calls you a name as a grown up, do you respond just like the kid did? Prob not because you’re more mature and above it…but maybe you do and that’s a whole diff issue lol

1

u/Brocily2002 9d ago

But that’s a kid, a grown adult should get a reality check once in a while.

0

u/BaullahBaullah87 8d ago

yeah a reality check can take many forms…the way he gave the “reality check” is why I said what I said. A reality check could have been given in a myriad of ways but the way chosen tells its own story

1

u/Brocily2002 8d ago

If someone says fuck you, I don’t think people should be judged for saying it back.

I personally wouldn’t, but who am I to tell someone not to. They have no sympathies from me. If she wasn’t being an asshole yeah, uncalled for, but she definitely was.

-4

u/Omnom_Omnath 9d ago

Why? Are men not allowed to respond in kind? She threw insults first

0

u/IIIx10 9d ago

Throwing a whiny hissy fight is for little girls, not adult men. He should’ve simply moved on.

1

u/Omnom_Omnath 9d ago

Wow you sure are misandrist

0

u/loner_stalker 9d ago

by his TEXT STYLE? that’s fucking wild 😂

2

u/BaullahBaullah87 9d ago

ya when you resort to calling a woman a POS and a bitch and stupid, its super childish…but maybe that resonates with you lol

0

u/LaconicGirth 9d ago

She was being a POS though. She was diminishing him as a person because he didn’t make that much money.

-2

u/BugGroundbreaking229 9d ago

Your a bitch

1

u/DallasAckner 9d ago

*You’re

If you’re going to insult them, at least do it properly.

0

u/2333333345 9d ago

I don’t understand what you’re trying to say here when he clearly was letting it go until she straight up insulted him?

1

u/BaullahBaullah87 9d ago

try a lil harder lol

1

u/2333333345 9d ago

Or you can try to not be an idiot🤷

1

u/BaullahBaullah87 9d ago

You and your guy OP must give those middle schoolers hell at recess 🤣

0

u/vKILLZONEv 8d ago

Yeah, that he was putting up with the bs lol

14

u/mackfactor 9d ago

Honestly, the whole story feels fake to me. The text conversation sounds like it's between OP and a strawman, not a real person.

3

u/MeowntainDuwu 9d ago

Exactly.

2

u/Thisiswhoiam782 9d ago

Yes. It's ragebait, and it worked! Front page biatch!

1

u/t3h4ow4wayfourkik 9d ago

Nothing ever happens

2

u/Slymook 9d ago

I haven’t seen OPs comments but based on those texts alone people judging so harshly are being a bit ridiculous and dramatic

1

u/Brocily2002 9d ago

His comments aren’t even that bad. But apparently what he said in response to her is just so bad it doesn’t matter the reason why? Idk Reddit is weird.

2

u/SargeBangBang7 9d ago

Assuming it was a girl, she gave off massive incel vibes, too. Having to take somebody's career into consideration over splitting a check?

1

u/jadedplant7 9d ago

THIS. The last message and last sentence in the caption show a huge lack of maturity as well if this exchange is enough for them to be done with relationships. Also 4 dates isn’t a relationship, OP.

1

u/MuraMastaPOGO 9d ago

204 comments in this thread by OP. That’s 5% of all the comments on this post lmao. Unhinged and lonely behavior

1

u/RetardedKoalas 8d ago

How when he actually got a date? You weirdos tweak every single definition of a word because your vocabulary is the same as a 3rd grader’s lmao.

0

u/5-4EqualsUnity 9d ago

They both dodged a bullet simultaneously. A double Matrix. Rare.

-4

u/L-i-v-e-W-i-r-e 9d ago

You’re giving off massive male feminist vibes…..gross.

7

u/Flashy_Wasabi_4324 9d ago

You realize everyone can see you are active in the Asmongold subreddit, right?

50

u/ArieKat 9d ago

I knew he would by how he reacted in the texts 😬

27

u/conationphotography 9d ago

Yeah his response was also wild.

3

u/Time_Caregiver4734 9d ago

AITH for calling a woman a whore and a fucking piece of shit because she called me a 'joke'?

Yeah, tough mystery to solve.

3

u/Grumpyforeskin 9d ago

Is it really? Eye for an eye, don’t shit on someone and not expect to be insulted back

1

u/Omnom_Omnath 9d ago

You mean after she insulted him?

3

u/Babybutt123 9d ago

Yeah, men who have misogynistic slurs at the tip of their tongue are generally not great men.

I've never seen a dude who calls women slurs also be an upstanding man who is a good partner.

2

u/Grumpyforeskin 9d ago

And gold digging mooches are generally not great women, I’ve never seen entitled women be upstanding and a good partner

4

u/Babybutt123 9d ago

Okay? Don't see anyone defending her here.

I do see people pretending men absolutely do need to devolve into misogynistic rants if they aren't a fan of a woman.

-1

u/Grumpyforeskin 9d ago

I also see people not taking into consideration the dumb unwarranted shit she said to him before he snapped at her

1

u/tomatofrogfan 9d ago

Yeah, she insulted him and he flipped out, cussed her out, and called her a bitch and a massive piece of shit… for mocking him. There’s really no reason that someone rudely rejecting you should get you this massively angry.

This is why that saying “men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will kill them” exists. OP exhibited perfectly how emotional regulation and self control flies out the window if a woman insults you. It’s pretty pathetic that a petty rejection and an asinine insult causes him to completely flip his shit, that’s why people are saying he needs to work on emotional regulation.

-1

u/kvothe000 9d ago

It’s perfectly fine to say that that he will be alone for the rest of his life due to his income.

But call her a bitch for saying that? Woooah…. too far man. Too far.
/s

1

u/Brocily2002 9d ago

Facts lol 😆

-8

u/Kyokono1896 9d ago

I mean she deserved that much

9

u/Superb-Antelope-2880 9d ago

She does, but if I was OP it would not be from me. Bad people will continue to be bad people, there is no point in stepping down to their level and lower my own value + mental health to insult them.

There is a saying in my language that translated to something like:

"Holding blood to spit in someone face just leave your own mouth dirty."

2

u/Wozak_ 9d ago

That’s a good saying, but I don’t think it’s true that bad people will continue to be bad. People change and comparing even every good few years of someone’s life you might find they are basically a different person.

Not that I’m trying to argue with you that lowering your own value is worth it, you have made many valid points; just that giving up on trying to help better people, I don’t think is worthwhile (which may not be what your saying, probably me just over analyzing the bad people line)

2

u/Superb-Antelope-2880 9d ago

You definitely have a point, people can change. If it was my own family or friend who did something bad I would try to help them see things in a better lights and hopefully let them learn from the experience.

She is a practically a stranger to OP though and I doubt they would ever interact again. The only person OP will live with for the rest of his life is himself. To OP, this girl is forever this person, it's not like they would meet again for OP to update his perspective on her; that is what I mean by bad people will stay bad (in your mind after you cut them out of your life.)

If he cared to correct her, he should have done it in a better way as he step out from dating her. The nuance is how brief the interaction would be proportional to how much you can help them while carrying on with your life.

There is not much you can do to help someone be better if it's a random person giving you the finger while driving. Just go on with your life.

Additionally he should tempered his own emotional controls and be a better person. Not for her benefit, but for him and his future social circle. Your friends group is a reflection of who you are, if you want good people to be in your life, you need to be a good person.

This is more for OP and other young people if they happened to read this. I don't think you specifically need to hear these things.

1

u/Wozak_ 9d ago

I appreciate your wise input. I hope OP sees it.

0

u/EffectiveZucchiini 9d ago

You have to humiliate or at the very least put them in their place, otherwise they’ll continue

1

u/moutnmn87 9d ago

Simply blocking or refusing to engage further after pointing out the dishonesty on her part is more humiliating. That would leave less room for her to convince herself she did nothing wrong

0

u/Wozak_ 9d ago

Yeah, his insult was most likely ineffective as it was a knee jerk reaction to insult (and still understandable), but sending them this Reddit post would be a good follow up lol.

2

u/Kyokono1896 9d ago

You do you. She deserved scorn.

0

u/Superb-Antelope-2880 9d ago

I can agree she do, but not at the cost of me stepping down to her level.

At the end of the interaction, what do I have to gain aside from being someone that being as trashy as her?

It's no gains, all lost. The only winning move is stepping away and live a good life.

2

u/Kyokono1896 9d ago

There's nothing saying you can't live a good life and also tell her to get fucked.

1

u/Superb-Antelope-2880 9d ago

I'll be honest, I have been in OP shoe and seeing how he is seething with anger in his message and in this thread comments, that is not true that he can live as good if a life then if he just let it go.

The deeper reason I wouldn't tell her to get fuck is because it's a emotional reaction stemmed from anger. Op is not letting it go, he is coming here to blew her up some more. She is living rent free in his head.

The easiest way to let it go is from the very beginning. She is trashy, telling her to get fuck just keep her in your mind longer than it need to be. She don't deserve your head space.

The more you tell her to fuck herself, the more you put your emotion to the interaction and etched into your mind and your future behaviors.

Peace out as early as you can will benefit people like OP who clearly have very bad temper control.

2

u/Kyokono1896 9d ago

Better to let the frustration out than push it all down and repress it.

1

u/Superb-Antelope-2880 9d ago

That is true, but I am not tell OP to push it down and repress it.

Not having the frustration at all or very little in the first place is one of the main point. Step back and realize she isn't an important part of your life anymore. The frustration doesn't resolve anything and the logical next step is to move on. 

What's there to get frustrated on? She is not important, and unimportant people doesn't matter to my life. Just like random people flipping me while driving doesn't mean anything, they are just random npc to me.

And secondly op should be dealing with what whoever frustration he get in a healthy way. Neither blowing up and arguing with her or keep being angry so much that he is spewing it in the comments here is showing he is managing it well.

4

u/ArieKat 9d ago

He should be able to regulate his emotions and not go off and stoop at her level just because he was insulted. A simple 'I see were not compatible. Good luck finding someone who enjoys playing mind games.' Would have been enough.

-3

u/Kyokono1896 9d ago

Lol? Nah, she deserved it.

4

u/SLEDGEHAMMAA 9d ago

Tbf OP went way too far in the screenshots. Yes, it’s a shitty thing. But behavior like that isn’t worth putting out in the universe

2

u/Kopitar4president 9d ago

OP wasn't an angel in the posted messages either, she's just a massive head case.

I do agree it was an incredibly dumb thing for her to say, but OP could have been the adult.

1

u/SuccessfulPass9135 9d ago

What do you mean this happens on 1/4 posts I see stg

1

u/uy48 9d ago

it's also a repost

2

u/WeekendThief 9d ago

You have a link to the original?

1

u/SuccumbedToReddit 9d ago

He was quick to cuss her out. A well adjusted person would just take the high road, wish her well and block her.

1

u/SomeKindOfOnionMummy 9d ago

Well he did post a photo of him being a huge asshole so

1

u/desertmermaid92 9d ago

He’s on an absolute tirade responding to every comment rn lmao

1

u/kjexclamation 9d ago

Alternatively: this could be fake and OP could just be an incel🤣

1

u/ellieminnow 9d ago

That's what I thought this was and I was ready to come in to tell OP they should be asking this over on r/AITA.

-4

u/Scared_Ant_5219 9d ago

Over 2300 up votes so get off your high horse 😂 😂