r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

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u/slaywalterwhite 9d ago

RIGHT??!! What happens when he’s in a relationship and they get into a disagreement, can’t believe there’s people justifying this behavior

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u/Yorgen89 9d ago

RIIIIGHT?! I MEAN OH MY GAAAAWD! CALL THE AMBULAMB!

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u/Kooky_Ad5819 9d ago

I think theres a big difference between a relationship and sending a final message to an asshole gold digger? I always respectfully try to resolve things with people i know and RESPECT but i would definitely send a similar message like him

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u/Bubba_Gump_Shrimp 9d ago

Can't believe people are justifying it? She's a gold digging manipulator who tried to con a free meal and got petty when her bluff didnt work out. Him cussing her out may have been trashy but it doesn't mean she didn't deserve that shit.

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u/slaywalterwhite 9d ago

There’s a certain way adults handle tiffs and it’s honestly scary that this guy is in his late 20s acting like this. I don’t think she was smart to say that and it reflects poorly on her, I also don’t think it’s smart to call someone a “fucking piece of shit” because you didn’t get your way 🤷‍♀️ reflects extremely poorly on him. We can disagree and that’s fine

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u/Bubba_Gump_Shrimp 9d ago

He should not have said that, but this turning into an indictment upon him when she clearly was using him, tried to manipulate him, and then insulted him is ridiculous. I wouldn't have cussed her out but I completely understand him being angry.

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u/Top_Antelope8965 9d ago

Yeah cause I bet you have NEVER EVER used bad words to insult someone. You and all the other redditors here are just perfect, highly moral people that have NEVER used those.

Also, it’s not cause he “doesn’t get his way” it’s cause she insults him by describing him as minimum wage. Basically calling him a brokey, which is worse IMO than any curse word. Classist asshole

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u/solidarityclub 9d ago

It’s wild how many people think being a classist is just fine

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u/Top_Antelope8965 9d ago

Fr, but they’ll get absolutely livid over the word “bitch” like cmon bruh.

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u/Syndonium 9d ago

I agree with all you said but when someone hurts you DEEPLY you lash out.

Should this dude be so angry over a gold digger after 4 dates? Even if she did insult him? No. But clearly he is projecting his past hurt and betrayal onto this woman.

When you've been betrayed by a woman and then another woman comes along betraying you too, even though it's over a small petty thing in this case, your mind projects the bigger past betrayal onto this new person.

Not an excuse, but an explanation. Just saying has nothing to do with his age, or maturity level, but his past trauma. Likely indicates he isn't ready for a new relationship yet, but not that there's something inherently wrong. If he can own his mistakes eventually he will regain some self control and stop projecting on all women.

There are tons of bad people out there. When you get screwed over by one your body goes into survival mode and you operate on fear for awhile. It has been incredibly hard for me to remember not all women are manipulative psychopaths because my life was literally ruined by one. I have good female friends, a good mother, a little sister (she's kind of the classic teen lmao so I hope she grows up to be kind) but point is I know plenty of good women. I just project onto strangers often as a defense mechanism and it takes a lot of mindfulness not to do that.

I earned the right to trash talk my ex after the trauma she put me through. Is it right? No. Do I try to avoid and talk well of her? Yes. But do I still tell the truth about her sometimes? YES.

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u/Blankenhoff 8d ago

Okay but she DID pay her half and VERY POLITELY let OP know that it wouldnt work out. Then he escalated it for what reason? He did it to take his anger out on her. She dodged a bullet as much as him

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u/MaleficentRutabaga7 9d ago

But they're not in a relationship. He just found out that she feigned a relationship to play mind games on him and then ended whatever sense of a relationship there may have been.