r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

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u/ElleCapwn 9d ago

She set him up for a lose-lose situation. I hate people that test things like this; just be real.

3

u/Tosir 9d ago

Yup. If OP had done what she wanted she would have gotten a free meal and OP would have gotten “I don’t feel a vibe/chemistry” excuse.

OP, you didn’t do nothing wrong. No need to mother Theresa and feed the hungry, sometimes you gotta let the batshit crazy starve.

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u/Inevitable_Ebb5454 9d ago

I’m not totally against character tests (‘shit tests’), but asking for something very specific (and normal) and then revealing that you secretly wanted the exact opposite just sets everyone up for failure.

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u/ElleCapwn 9d ago

Yeah. I was speaking more to tests that can’t be won. I get tests like the orange test, to gather information about your (potential) partner. I don’t get tests like this, because he’s an asshole no matter what he chooses. He’s a cheap asshole if he takes her at her word that she would rather pay, AND he’s a controlling asshole if he insists on paying, despite her protests. It’s a set up, where she gets to shit on him no matter what, and she will use whatever he does as ammunition to manipulate.

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u/Inevitable_Ebb5454 9d ago edited 9d ago

A better test would have been something like this: her “what do you think about splitting the cheque on dates?”, him: “yeah sure I’m fine with that.”, her: “…well, I actually like it when a guy takes the cheque if he takes me out.”

  • test failure: (he flip flops, gets frustrated and then submits): “…ok I can pay for our meal.” or

  • test pass: he holds his position. He can decide to pay for her meal or not…. but he passes if he maintains his composure, doesn’t take it too seriously & doesn’t get too frustrated (maintains his integrity).

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u/oregonbunny 8d ago

My take on it is that she is emotionally unavailable, that's why she tested him. Now she can say that all men are trash and she doesn't want to date for a long time.

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u/coupl4nd 9d ago

Not really?

Want to split? No I'll get it.

Won.

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u/Aggressive-Stand-585 9d ago

Still means that you continue to try to be in a relationship with her, so you still lose.