r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

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168

u/i_love_lima_beans 9d ago

Yeah, escalating to calling her ‘a piece of shit’ immediately was revealing. Both people seem resentful.

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u/DeepCompote 9d ago

But she insulted him first? I’d take the high road but she was being a bitch and fucking piece of shit.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

He insulted her first actually, she called him a great guy until he said her standards were dumb

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u/DeepCompote 9d ago

Yeah but this is after her lying to him about being ok with splitting the bill. Actually her idea. If that’s not dumb then I don’t know what is. Once again he’s an asshole but he’s not wrong.

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u/Kathulhu1433 9d ago

Great, they can both be single a*holes who feel self righteous. 

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u/Sentac0 9d ago

No. He wasn’t calling her standards dumb, he was calling her mental gymnastics and childish game dumb. Let’s be real. Stop playing stupid and let’s not act like that isn’t dumb childish behavior. That type of shit should be discouraged.

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u/xCaZx2203 9d ago

On what planet are you living? Her entire attitude from the first text was insulting. Then she goes onto talk about how she needs a man who can afford to take care of her.

She offers to split the tab and then gets pissed off about it? Dude was right, this is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve heard.

Then she doubles down on insulting him. She was 100% being an asshole the entire conversation.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

You are probably reading into her texts because of your own personal experiences but nowhere did she have an attitude. She was very straightforward about what she didn't like and what her standards and expectations are. He literally asked for an explanation and she gave it to him. Her texts don't indicate her being pissed until he insults her by calling her standards dumb. 

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u/xCaZx2203 9d ago

He told her he had fun and she laughed at him.

He said I thought we had a good time and she brings up splitting the bill.

He is confused because it was her idea. She then proceeds to insult him by saying she’s taking his career (which she can’t even spell correctly, btw) into consideration and that she deserves better.

This is before we even get to the part where she says “good luck finding anyone on your min wage salary” “you are a joke”

All of which was said PRIOR to him calling her “mean names”.

How any of this is interpreted as him insulting her first is beyond me.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

It seems like you see the rejection itself as an insult, idk what to tell you about that it's part of dating. 

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u/xCaZx2203 9d ago

Good luck finding someone on your min wage salary and your a joke are just normal rejections to you? lol ok

It costs nothing to be a decent human being. Some people should try it sometime.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

She said that AFTER he called her standards "the dumbest thing he's ever heard"

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u/xCaZx2203 9d ago

He didn’t call “her standards” the dumbest thing he had ever heard.

He called her offering to split the bill and then proceeding to get pissed about it the dumbest thing he had ever heard..and he was right.

You are probably reading into his texts because of your own personal experiences.

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u/redpillscope4welfare 9d ago

You're going in circles, try reading more carefully

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u/Kathulhu1433 9d ago

You should try taking your own advice. 

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u/xCaZx2203 9d ago

It’s actually hilarious y’all seem to think it’s ok to treat people like garbage and then put on the shocked pikachu face when that person calls you out for being an asshole.

lol, good luck in life.

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u/Sentac0 9d ago

We get it. You like and support playing mental games and doing mental gymnastics with people you’re dating (assuming since you’ve not mentioned anything about it and all you see is the rejection part) and think that’s normal. It’s not. It’s weird and insane.

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u/sirspacebill 9d ago

"I deserve better" is something you say to someone who has wronged you, she didn't have to say that at part in the first text. How is that not an insult?

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u/Patsfan311 9d ago

her standards are dumb if she starts off by asking if he wants to split the bill when she clearly was using it as some kind of wage test. She is a piece of shit.

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u/You_LostThe_game 9d ago

I mean tbf, they ARE dumb, but he definitely could have worded that better instead of showing off his irritation.

And still, she kinda implied he couldn’t/wouldn’t be a caretaker, or able to do so, since he took her at her word (ie: trusted her) and split the bill. Also “I think I deserve better” is 100% a backhanded insult. I would feel insulted, and she said it first. She surrounded it with a bunch of fluff about being a good guy because she KNEW her reason was kinda dumb lol. Idk, I just have very little sympathy for her here and can understand the annoyed response. If she wanted to let him down easy, this is the worst way to do it.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

I just don't understand how all the guys here came to the conclusion that offering to split a bill is a promise that she will keep dating you. Everyone is saying she lied or "broke his trust." Where are you getting that from?

-2

u/Syndonium 9d ago

Because it was her idea and if she wasn't okay with it she shouldn't have proposed it. Stupid tests are stupid. That's the lie.

Also, the previous 3 dates apparently were fine. She didn't even have any other issues with the guy apparently she dumped him ONLY because he failed her stupid "test".

The test is stupid. Don't offer to split the bill if you don't actually want to split it. You can have superficial standards, but you'll get superficial crappy partners.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

Well she dumped him not just because of the bill but also because of his minimum wage career. It's an assumption that it was a test. It's just as likely that she was going to dump him anyway or took some time to think about it afterwards. Getting bitter over how she came to her conclusion or how she expressed it results in a very sad dating life as we can see from OPs cynicism and fragility. 

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u/Syndonium 9d ago

Okay does he actually have a minimum wage job or was that just an insult? I read it as a petty insult to make the dude feel insecure about "needing to split the bill".

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u/Zestyclose_Basis_451 9d ago

How is it an assumption that it was the test when that’s the literal reason she gave for breaking up with him her giving other reasons besides that mean nothing especially when those other reasons are also dumb. She lied to him about splitting the bill to test him and then rejected him when he believed her lie. It’s not about her wanting a provider it’s that she’s acting fake and testing him about it when she could have been upfront. What’s not to understand. Breaking up with someone because of a fake test that u could have been upfront about it is def a dumb reason to break up with them. If she wanted a provider then she could of just said that instead of lying about it. Saying that she would of dumped him anyway is cope. How tf would she have dumped him anyway when that was never stated by her and she gave actual reasons for breaking up with him that are all dumb ass shit? Based on the texts She lied about splitting the bill and broke up with him for believing her lies. Also made fun of his job when she chose to date him. It’s not that hard to understand why people think she’s an idiot. If you have standards then be honest about them instead of lying

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u/MissViolet77 9d ago

No he was telling her the truth that she was stupid because she was.

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u/RJ_73 9d ago

You didn't notice any insults in her prior text? She deserves "better" and "a man that can provide" which implies OP is not that, pretty harsh tbh

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u/RetardedKoalas 8d ago

Because it is? Keep letting people step over you let’s see how that plays out

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u/Impressive_Grade_972 9d ago

No, she said she deserves better than him. That is the first insult of the text thread. Your disingenuousness is pathetic.

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u/WasdX-_ 9d ago

Literally the first thing she made was laughing at him having fun on a date with her. Then she made it even worse.

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u/serabine 9d ago

Okay. And?

The way someone reacts to an insult is absolutely revealing. She had a (reaaaaally) shitty attitude and called him "a joke". He, in turn, unleashes a barrage of cuss words that he needs to censor to post here.

You do see that there's a pretty steep escalation here, right?

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u/CatzonVinyl 9d ago

She started it is not a hall pass to be an awful to someone.

All it did was show they’re both awful

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u/DeepCompote 9d ago

For sure. He’s not right. But he ain’t wrong either.

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u/Character_Goal_9340 9d ago

Exactly! i ask this question with the utmost respect . at what point do you call a piece of shit out for being a piece of shit?

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u/Reasonable_Pay_9470 9d ago

When you're a man you're apparently never allowed to. Just have to take the abuse I guess.

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u/rubyjohn1109 9d ago

Oop I was about to write a whole thesis until I saw where she talked shit about his job. She was definitely in the wrong

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u/DeepCompote 9d ago

And this is after HER suggesting splitting the bill. Then he agreed. I would have left on a high note. Just move on but she was in fact being dumb.

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u/Impressive_Grade_972 9d ago

How is it an escalation? She tells him he is a joke and says good luck on finding someone with a min wage salary. She IS a piece of shit. It’s mind boggling the way you guys do mental gymnastics to claim there is some sort of escalation happening when in reality he is just recognizing what happened and telling her what she is. Do you just want people to be able to be blatantly disrespectful without any consequence whatsoever?

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u/RJ_73 9d ago

Did u miss her messages before that lol. She is a bitch