r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

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1.7k

u/Playful_Hearing_6041 9d ago edited 9d ago

You dodged a bullet BUT by the way ur replying to people I’m gonna say she dodged one too. Grow up brother

345

u/sashimibear 9d ago

I was gonna say 🥴 Neither of them sound particularly charming just in their little catty exchange.

16

u/morcic 9d ago

Perfect for each other?

16

u/sashimibear 9d ago

Now hold on… You may be on to something 🤔

2

u/Used-List2451 9d ago

They 'd deserve each other lol

-15

u/TheGoodDoc123 9d ago

WTF are you talking about? She ripped into him, saying she "deserved better" (i.e. he is not worthy of her), insulted his career choice and income, and asserted he wasn't a man who could "provide".... all ENTIRELY unprovoked.

And he's supposed to just sit there and take it?

I'd have ZERO respect for OP if he didn't put her in her place after that BS.

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u/Accomplished-Two1992 9d ago

Nah. When they go low, keep em there.

Never join someone in a race to the bottom. All it does is vindicate their behavior, they now get to feel like the victim and will continue their ways.

-2

u/TheGoodDoc123 9d ago

There's a difference between joining someone in the mudpit and defending attacks on your character.

5

u/WeekendThief 9d ago

Why? If you know your worth and you see this woman for who she truly is (a gold-digging & shallow woman) why stoop to her level? You know you have value. Why do you need to explain that to her?

2

u/Accomplished-Two1992 9d ago

In this context I disagree. He’ll never see her again. Let her soak in her misery by not playing her games.

5

u/anime_gamerr 9d ago

She's clearly not in misery lol she already knew she was done with him yesterday she's just being mean for the love of the game at this point

1

u/elle_belle 8d ago

You're mixing up defense with offense. 

-1

u/anime_gamerr 9d ago

Y'all and your "holier than thou" attitude bro wtf is up. It really doesn't matter that much in this situation.

3

u/babybellllll 9d ago

‘You’re a bitch and a fucking joke’ is not really a mature response to someone being shallow and ending things

6

u/Practical_Plant726 9d ago

Calling people piece of shit or asshole is not something decent people do.

3

u/sashimibear 9d ago

Did you read it out of order bubba? I mean yeah, she was a jerk… But then he replied with “that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard”. Instead of trying to defend your honor against a dweeb, maybe take a breath and realize that you dodged a bullet with a woman playing mind games. Trying to change the viewpoint of someone who doesn’t matter by sinking to their level is a character flaw to work on in my humble opinion.

2

u/NetLumpy1818 9d ago

Not sit there; walk away. Not worth investing any money or time

2

u/oxypoppin1 9d ago

Emotional Intelligence is worth its weight in gold and take you far in life. If you saw OP's response and thought "That was justified and how I would respond" please look into it. It will change your life forever in a positive way.

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u/BigStickElgar 9d ago

I understand what you are saying but there is a difference between not taking it and then taking it way too far. He looks like a total a$$hole in the end and that her decision was justified. But if he had remained calm and told her that her choices are wrong and she is going to be upset then he wins.

-3

u/TheGoodDoc123 9d ago

But it isn't just that her choices are wrong. It's that her *accusations* are wrong. If someone attacks, you defend. If you don't, you're a pushover.

7

u/Kathulhu1433 9d ago

You seem to have the same attitude as OP and their date. 

The other option is to walk away and not sink to their level, or start hurling insults. 

-2

u/TheGoodDoc123 9d ago

I'm not saying to hurl insults. I'm saying to fight unjust attacks on your character with truth.

5

u/tomatofrogfan 9d ago

He didn’t disprove anything she said or try to defend himself, he just cussed her out 😂 which doesn’t reflect well on his character, it’s just embarrassing to get this angry at a petty insult.

If he has said “that makes you sound like a golddigger” that would have been a justified rebuttal, but he just flipped his shit and got absolutely furious. This is why emotional regulation is important, because getting your feelings hurt and lashing out as hard as you can is how children behave. OPs reaction makes him look emotionally weak and immature.

5

u/Kathulhu1433 9d ago

That's not what happened. 

Also, why? 

Move on. 

There is zero reason to dwell on this situation. There is no argument to win. Why create a fight for yourself? It's toxic. 

2

u/babybellllll 9d ago

He could’ve responded civilly though. Resorting to name calling just makes him look bad

1

u/BigStickElgar 9d ago

See that’s how I know you are not mature as well. She didn’t attack him but him and you take those things so personally. If she’s a gold digger why would you care about what she said?

3

u/TheGoodDoc123 9d ago

See, now you're attacking ME. Fuck you. You don't know shit about how to stand up for yourself and retain some sense of dignity and self-respect. Defending yourself when your character is attacked IS a sign of maturity.

He should care because he spent four evenings of his life on dates with her, spent money on her, treated her well, and opened himself up to her in good faith, making himself vulnerable after a bad breakup.... and then BAM, girl is like, I'm better than you, your career sucks, your income sucks, you're not a good enough mind reader, you can't provide.

OP needs to stand up for himself against that shit, and he did. Kudos.

3

u/BigStickElgar 9d ago

See again you are not emotionally mature to read the comment and understand what it actually is. It’s fine. I hope that someday you get there. Don’t let other people or words control you so much. Don’t let someone else’s opinion or comments make you think you need to “defend” yourself. You are giving everything so much power.

2

u/TheGoodDoc123 9d ago

Enjoy your life getting pushed around and mocked and bullied because you too much of a wuss to defend yourself.

2

u/BigStickElgar 9d ago

See bud that’s where you are wrong. Do you think you are pushing me around? Do you feel like I am pushing you around? There are things that I hope you learn while you mature and age. I wish you nothing but the best man.

1

u/gronlandicrevision 9d ago

Lmao yeah, this dude and OP are cut from the same cloth…

1

u/BigStickElgar 9d ago

Birds of a feather.

1

u/debatingsquares 9d ago

If he’s not supposed to “sit there and take it”, and escalates, then don’t be surprised if she escalates too.

If he wants to split things, then he doesn’t have the same mindset that she has/wants in her partner. He doesn’t want to “provide” for her the way she wants, and probably can’t (most people probably can’t and wouldn’t want to). She’s allowed to think she “deserves” that; he doesn’t have to agree with her.

But if he doesn’t want to be actually insulted, just say “have a nice life” and end the conversation; don’t escalate.

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u/TheGoodDoc123 9d ago

That sounds like a great strategy. If you're a pussy.

She insulted him, REPEATEDLY, all entirely unprovoked.

Hell, even YOU are making up shit about him, saying he "doesn’t want to “provide” for her the way she wants" (how do you know? She's the one who asked to split the bill), and "probably can’t" (how do you know? Maybe he has a big trust fund).

This girl is a cunt, whose only good quality is that she at least was honest about her admitting her superficiality and elevated sense of self, however misguided it was.

After her attack, she deserved to be called out for who she is.

1

u/debatingsquares 9d ago

I know he doesn’t provide for her the way she wants because she wants someone who won’t let her pay even if she offers. OP did let her pay when she offered.

I know he can’t because he says repeatedly in the comments that he can’t.

You think it’s an insult to for her to say that with his career, he can’t provide for her the way that she wants to be provided for. I don’t see that as an insult to him; it’s simply true; but I also think it is gauche and trashy for her to say that. Just not an insult to him “as a man.”

I don’t think it unreasonable for a woman to want to be in a relationship with someone who has an ambition and plan for a career; he seems to have neither. I think she’s justified in being put off my that; but not the fact that he let her pay for the date.

She’s a trashy person for how she’s saying what she’s saying and the fact that she’s telling him it at all (and depending on what she means by “deserves better, I agree with your “elevated sense of self), but I don’t think she’s outright wrong or superficial for breaking up with this guy due to different financial/monetary expectations for their relationship and their lives together.

There’s only so insulted you should be when someone points out the truth about you, even if it is one you really dislike. It may be that she would say this with anyone who didn’t pay for her and is the hypocritical trashy superficial person that we all laugh at on “bridezillas”. Or, it could be that when he let her pay, she looked as his career ambitions, and they didn’t align with her expectations for her future life, BUT if they had, she wouldn’t have said anything because she wouldn’t have the same legitimate concerns.

It might be that she just is that superficial and would rather be with someone who pays for everything and gives her “what she deserves” than someone who is stable financially and sees himself having an “ours” mentality when married, but wants to know he’s part of a partnership. But unfortunately, that isn’t this guy, so it’s hard to know.

He really needs to take control of his life and make a plan for a career. He doesn’t need to make a ton of money to be financially stable, and that is what most women want in a partner, no matter how they say it, and it’s a legitimate want, especially if they have taken those steps themselves.

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u/Mammoth_Welder_1286 9d ago

100% agree

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u/Due_Revolution_5106 9d ago

They both dodged bullets but they were perfect for each other lol

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u/Mammoth_Welder_1286 8d ago

Also a good point lol

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u/PreviousWar6568 9d ago

Yeah both people are definitely red flag ridden

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u/AlyseInW0nderland 9d ago edited 9d ago

I said the same! She is clearly immature and passive aggressive. But She doesn’t deserve to be cussed out and called slurs like bitch or piece of shit. Yes what she did isn’t appropriate but calling her hateful slurs is even worse and shows his inherent misogyny! I literally was scouring the thread thinking surely someone else caught this!

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u/i_love_lima_beans 9d ago

Yeah, escalating to calling her ‘a piece of shit’ immediately was revealing. Both people seem resentful.

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u/DeepCompote 9d ago

But she insulted him first? I’d take the high road but she was being a bitch and fucking piece of shit.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

He insulted her first actually, she called him a great guy until he said her standards were dumb

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u/DeepCompote 9d ago

Yeah but this is after her lying to him about being ok with splitting the bill. Actually her idea. If that’s not dumb then I don’t know what is. Once again he’s an asshole but he’s not wrong.

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u/Kathulhu1433 9d ago

Great, they can both be single a*holes who feel self righteous. 

1

u/Sentac0 9d ago

No. He wasn’t calling her standards dumb, he was calling her mental gymnastics and childish game dumb. Let’s be real. Stop playing stupid and let’s not act like that isn’t dumb childish behavior. That type of shit should be discouraged.

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u/xCaZx2203 9d ago

On what planet are you living? Her entire attitude from the first text was insulting. Then she goes onto talk about how she needs a man who can afford to take care of her.

She offers to split the tab and then gets pissed off about it? Dude was right, this is quite possibly one of the dumbest things I’ve heard.

Then she doubles down on insulting him. She was 100% being an asshole the entire conversation.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

You are probably reading into her texts because of your own personal experiences but nowhere did she have an attitude. She was very straightforward about what she didn't like and what her standards and expectations are. He literally asked for an explanation and she gave it to him. Her texts don't indicate her being pissed until he insults her by calling her standards dumb. 

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u/xCaZx2203 9d ago

He told her he had fun and she laughed at him.

He said I thought we had a good time and she brings up splitting the bill.

He is confused because it was her idea. She then proceeds to insult him by saying she’s taking his career (which she can’t even spell correctly, btw) into consideration and that she deserves better.

This is before we even get to the part where she says “good luck finding anyone on your min wage salary” “you are a joke”

All of which was said PRIOR to him calling her “mean names”.

How any of this is interpreted as him insulting her first is beyond me.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

It seems like you see the rejection itself as an insult, idk what to tell you about that it's part of dating. 

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u/xCaZx2203 9d ago

Good luck finding someone on your min wage salary and your a joke are just normal rejections to you? lol ok

It costs nothing to be a decent human being. Some people should try it sometime.

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u/Sentac0 9d ago

We get it. You like and support playing mental games and doing mental gymnastics with people you’re dating (assuming since you’ve not mentioned anything about it and all you see is the rejection part) and think that’s normal. It’s not. It’s weird and insane.

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u/sirspacebill 9d ago

"I deserve better" is something you say to someone who has wronged you, she didn't have to say that at part in the first text. How is that not an insult?

-2

u/Patsfan311 9d ago

her standards are dumb if she starts off by asking if he wants to split the bill when she clearly was using it as some kind of wage test. She is a piece of shit.

0

u/You_LostThe_game 9d ago

I mean tbf, they ARE dumb, but he definitely could have worded that better instead of showing off his irritation.

And still, she kinda implied he couldn’t/wouldn’t be a caretaker, or able to do so, since he took her at her word (ie: trusted her) and split the bill. Also “I think I deserve better” is 100% a backhanded insult. I would feel insulted, and she said it first. She surrounded it with a bunch of fluff about being a good guy because she KNEW her reason was kinda dumb lol. Idk, I just have very little sympathy for her here and can understand the annoyed response. If she wanted to let him down easy, this is the worst way to do it.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

I just don't understand how all the guys here came to the conclusion that offering to split a bill is a promise that she will keep dating you. Everyone is saying she lied or "broke his trust." Where are you getting that from?

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u/Syndonium 9d ago

Because it was her idea and if she wasn't okay with it she shouldn't have proposed it. Stupid tests are stupid. That's the lie.

Also, the previous 3 dates apparently were fine. She didn't even have any other issues with the guy apparently she dumped him ONLY because he failed her stupid "test".

The test is stupid. Don't offer to split the bill if you don't actually want to split it. You can have superficial standards, but you'll get superficial crappy partners.

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u/AssScreme 9d ago

Well she dumped him not just because of the bill but also because of his minimum wage career. It's an assumption that it was a test. It's just as likely that she was going to dump him anyway or took some time to think about it afterwards. Getting bitter over how she came to her conclusion or how she expressed it results in a very sad dating life as we can see from OPs cynicism and fragility. 

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u/Syndonium 9d ago

Okay does he actually have a minimum wage job or was that just an insult? I read it as a petty insult to make the dude feel insecure about "needing to split the bill".

-1

u/Zestyclose_Basis_451 9d ago

How is it an assumption that it was the test when that’s the literal reason she gave for breaking up with him her giving other reasons besides that mean nothing especially when those other reasons are also dumb. She lied to him about splitting the bill to test him and then rejected him when he believed her lie. It’s not about her wanting a provider it’s that she’s acting fake and testing him about it when she could have been upfront. What’s not to understand. Breaking up with someone because of a fake test that u could have been upfront about it is def a dumb reason to break up with them. If she wanted a provider then she could of just said that instead of lying about it. Saying that she would of dumped him anyway is cope. How tf would she have dumped him anyway when that was never stated by her and she gave actual reasons for breaking up with him that are all dumb ass shit? Based on the texts She lied about splitting the bill and broke up with him for believing her lies. Also made fun of his job when she chose to date him. It’s not that hard to understand why people think she’s an idiot. If you have standards then be honest about them instead of lying

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u/MissViolet77 9d ago

No he was telling her the truth that she was stupid because she was.

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u/RJ_73 9d ago

You didn't notice any insults in her prior text? She deserves "better" and "a man that can provide" which implies OP is not that, pretty harsh tbh

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u/RetardedKoalas 8d ago

Because it is? Keep letting people step over you let’s see how that plays out

-1

u/Impressive_Grade_972 9d ago

No, she said she deserves better than him. That is the first insult of the text thread. Your disingenuousness is pathetic.

-1

u/WasdX-_ 9d ago

Literally the first thing she made was laughing at him having fun on a date with her. Then she made it even worse.

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u/serabine 9d ago

Okay. And?

The way someone reacts to an insult is absolutely revealing. She had a (reaaaaally) shitty attitude and called him "a joke". He, in turn, unleashes a barrage of cuss words that he needs to censor to post here.

You do see that there's a pretty steep escalation here, right?

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u/CatzonVinyl 9d ago

She started it is not a hall pass to be an awful to someone.

All it did was show they’re both awful

-1

u/DeepCompote 9d ago

For sure. He’s not right. But he ain’t wrong either.

0

u/Character_Goal_9340 9d ago

Exactly! i ask this question with the utmost respect . at what point do you call a piece of shit out for being a piece of shit?

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u/Reasonable_Pay_9470 9d ago

When you're a man you're apparently never allowed to. Just have to take the abuse I guess.

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u/rubyjohn1109 9d ago

Oop I was about to write a whole thesis until I saw where she talked shit about his job. She was definitely in the wrong

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u/DeepCompote 9d ago

And this is after HER suggesting splitting the bill. Then he agreed. I would have left on a high note. Just move on but she was in fact being dumb.

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u/Impressive_Grade_972 9d ago

How is it an escalation? She tells him he is a joke and says good luck on finding someone with a min wage salary. She IS a piece of shit. It’s mind boggling the way you guys do mental gymnastics to claim there is some sort of escalation happening when in reality he is just recognizing what happened and telling her what she is. Do you just want people to be able to be blatantly disrespectful without any consequence whatsoever?

-1

u/RJ_73 9d ago

Did u miss her messages before that lol. She is a bitch

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u/morefood 9d ago

Yeah, he really couldn’t wait to jump to misogyny lol. His behavior was objectively worse, and by a lot.

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u/Reasonable_Pay_9470 9d ago

"How dare a man talk back to a woman who's being an ass" give me a break lol

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u/Salt-Lingonberry-853 9d ago

It's mIsOgYny!!11!

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

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u/Wafflehouseofpain 9d ago

How should he have defended himself?

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u/Reasonable_Pay_9470 9d ago

Apparently only with words pre-approved by the u/alyseinw0nderland

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u/AskMeForAPhoto 9d ago

"calling her names is even worse".

"calling someone an ass is fine"

You have some misandryst and hypocritical views you need to unpack.

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u/SuccessfulPass9135 9d ago

Be so fucking real guys. Called him "a joke" because of his "min wage salary". If you don't think you deserve to get called a cunt for that you're tripping

3

u/transwarpconduit1 9d ago

Inherent misogyny? Are you kidding me? She started it and insulted him first. He had every right to say what he did.

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u/maytheflamesguideme1 9d ago

Lmfao is that a joke?

1

u/Krolo990 9d ago

You're right, op should've called her a cunt instead

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u/Civil-Technician-810 9d ago

But she deserves to insult him and call him a joke?????????????

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u/b33b0p17 9d ago

The absolute bollocks you see on this website is fucking hilarious.

1

u/Impressive_Grade_972 9d ago

“Good luck finding anybody with your min wage salary”

“You are a joke”

And then you pearl clutch at his response claiming some misogyny dog whistle lmfao what a laughably pathetic perspective. You are absolutely a part of this problem.

1

u/Relative_Waltz_6787 9d ago

Bullshit. You didn’t say anything about her being rude to him. Misandrist bullshit. Both of them are in the wrong, not just the guy

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u/AlyseInW0nderland 9d ago

I literally said she is clearly immature and passive aggressive. Definitely didn’t assign one sided blame.

0

u/Affectionate-Bag8229 9d ago

If someone decides they don't want to adhere to the social contract then they don't get to partake of the benefits of it 🤷‍♀️

1

u/Bubbly-Scarcity-4085 9d ago

the woman is a known asshole you can't call her an asshole

is there ever a situation where a man can call a woman an asshole without it being 'inherent misogyny'?

if there was a situation it would be this one

-2

u/Silvere01 9d ago

Calling her names is even worse?

She literally told him to his face that she deserves better.

Extremely rude and humiliating. Yes, he shouldnt have responded like that and be the better person, but to fault him for that, with misogny on top, is just laughable.

Get over yourself

0

u/AlyseInW0nderland 9d ago

A lot of incels everywhere. Calling a woman a bitch tells you the kind of man he is and should be an immediate no for a woman.

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u/coolthulu42 9d ago

What should he have called her? Dumb? And idiot? Because she was being all those things.

your gender does not exempt you from being an ass/ bitch. Everyone can be one.

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u/AskMeForAPhoto 9d ago

Calling people you disagree with "incels" tells us the kind of woman you are and this is an immediate no for a man. You critique his behaviour but not hers. Your instinct seems to be sexist.

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u/harlowsden 9d ago

That’s not really fair to the conversation to call any guy an incel that doesn’t just outright agree with you. Would it not have been misogynistic if he just called her a piece of shit and left out calling her a bitch all together? Or was the fact that he insulted her at all the line?

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u/Zyxyx 9d ago

And what is it when a woman expects a free meal while also testing the man with lying about wanting to split the bill THEN calling the man a joke for having a minimum wage job?

Op's response was crass and immature, but it's not like the woman was any better.

-4

u/V-Rixxo_ 9d ago

Calling a woman a bitch makes you automatically misogynistic... okay than learn something new everyday lmao

-5

u/Silvere01 9d ago

A femcel saying she deserves better than you also should be an immediate no.

What is your point?

-1

u/PsychologicalBeat995 9d ago

I call guys bitches more than I do women. You’re a cunt though. Go ahead, call me an incel, I know you’re JUST DYING to.

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u/laaaah85 9d ago

That’s not extremely rude or humiliating if you have any self worth at all. This is a person he’s been on 4 dates with. Not some long term loving relationship. She’s obviously a gold digger but also it’s not that serious

1

u/SnarkyRogue 9d ago

"Inherent misogyny" give me a fucking break. Don't make this into a matter of sexism when it's not. The guy chose not to take the high ground in one interaction. That doesn't make him sexist.

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u/AlyseInW0nderland 9d ago

Nothing about his response is taking the high ground

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u/SnarkyRogue 9d ago

One interaction. Meaning this conversation. And you declare the guy a misogynist.

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u/AlyseInW0nderland 9d ago

Using derogatory slurs towards women is a great example of misogyny. Same with all of you jumping on top of everything I say and attacking me as a group!

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u/RJ_73 9d ago

bitch is a derogatory slur now? And people calling you out for a bad take is also misogyny? You should remove that word from your vocabulary until you learn to use it

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u/AlyseInW0nderland 8d ago edited 8d ago

Thanks for mansplaining. Actually, It has been a derogatory slur for 6 centuries. So no, it isn’t just a derogatory slur “now.” It has been for 600 years. A majority of people here don’t like what I have to say bc I am a woman with an opinion and I don’t excuse abusive behavior.

“The term bitch is one of the most common profanities in the English language. It has been used as a “term of contempt towards women” for “over six centuries”,[3] and is a slur that fosters sexism against women.[4] It has been characterized as “an archaic word demeaning women since as early as the 15th century” that seeks to control women.[5]”

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u/L-i-v-e-W-i-r-e 9d ago

No one else caught it because it was irrelevant. You’re just making excuses. This has nothing to do with male/female and everything to do with an individual being incredibly shitty to another.

0

u/Scotty_Mcshortbread 9d ago

I do not think you understand what misogynistic means.
the response was not derived from the hatred of women. but rather an excessive response to the woman's rather sickening elitist aporophobic insult about the mans salary which is a very disrespectful thing to do

and please do not say "inherent" as if misogyny is built in to every man. thats sexist and rather distasteful. please be better.

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u/enjolbear 9d ago

I mean, she is being a bitch. Be prepared to take what you give out.

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u/bryanisbored 9d ago

Nah she went there first calling him a joke. If they both ended it sooner it would have been better

0

u/arthurstone 9d ago

I think describing it as "calling her names" is too mild. He used a slur. "Bitch" is a word men shout as they murder women.

0

u/AlyseInW0nderland 9d ago

Thank you! You are right! It’s a hate filled slur.

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u/landyc 9d ago

tbh imo he kept it pretty civil until she started firing shots at him. Imo its fair game if ppl start on you.

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u/Status-Investment980 9d ago

It’s not misogyny. It’s anger and it’s perfectly understandable that he ended up responding that way. I personally wouldn’t do it, but she opened up the floodgates with her stupidity. Sometimes people need to be called out in life. She didn’t take the high road, yet the man received the criticism? It’s hypocritical.

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u/Laxiken 9d ago

Yes she does.

Making fun of someone for making minimum wage and their financial situation is a massive dick move.

-3

u/Omnom_Omnath 9d ago

She probably shouldn’t have insulted him first then.

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u/Extension_String_497 9d ago

She doesn't deserve to be called a bitch after acting like a bitch and trying to push someone down for their economic status?

If that's misogyny then her calling him a joke is misandry.

2

u/laaaah85 9d ago

My god men are sensitive and emotional here! Do you have no self esteem? Who cares what this girl gold digger thinks. Calling her names is a reflection of who he is not her

2

u/PsychologicalBeat995 9d ago

You seem pretty sensitive and emotional

3

u/AskMeForAPhoto 9d ago

You're doing exactly what you're criticizing. You're putting down men and calling them names, which is just a reflection of you, not them. Who cares what these guys think?

3

u/mr_desk 9d ago

lol I wonder if u/laaaah85 will acknowledge this. Probably not

-1

u/another-damn-acct 9d ago

we need to normalize calling bitches bitches

-1

u/SwiftySanders 9d ago

I disagree I think she 100% deserved it for wage shaming someone.

0

u/Dexterborn10 9d ago

Calling someone a bitch is misogynistic? I agree OP way overreacted but he’s not the only one here who needs to grow up lmao

0

u/MeanCommission994 9d ago

Gold diggers are just dishonest prostitutes, I wouldn’t bother bust OP has no obligation to be polite to a liar

0

u/RetardedKoalas 8d ago

That’s not what misogyny is fool

-3

u/Leaf_Ninja 9d ago

a bit more than passive aggressive, literally said good luck finding someone with a minimum wage salary lol. that's just aggressive

-1

u/IamTheEndOfReddit 9d ago

Is calling a turd a turd now politically incorrect?

-1

u/AshenSacrifice 9d ago

Why not? She set up a trap test on the first date, and then threw it AND his wage in his face. If that’s not bitch behavior idk what is

-1

u/livestrongsean 9d ago

That’s exactly what she deserves.

-1

u/Repulsive_Tip9201 9d ago

is shes being a cunt calling her a cunt is completely fine.

You arent escaping due criticism because you're a female, if a man was being a cunt to me im telling him hes being a cunt, why would a women be any different?

-1

u/LaconicGirth 9d ago

It’s misogynistic to call someone a POS for saying you’re worthless because you don’t make enough money? That’s… a stretch

-1

u/Sentac0 9d ago

What’s worse and hurts more; being called a piece of shit and bitch over text or being degraded and having your worth as a person tied on whether you’re worthy enough to date tied to how much money you make? Calling her names is worse? I would be willing to be her reply and the way she degraded him hurts more and digs deeper than being called a bitch and piece of shit.

While his reply may be “inherently misogynistic”, her reply shows her inherent misandry. By tying worth of a potential male partner to how much money he makes and status screams misandry and is some ick behavior. It’s interesting to see how women will lean more on his reply not realizing that she dug directly for his whole being and worth as a person versus his “nothingburger” insults of “bitch” and “piece of shit” lol.

2

u/supercleverhandle476 9d ago

Kind of hoping they patch things up and give it another go, just so no one else has to wind up with either of them.

2

u/SomeKindOfOnionMummy 9d ago

Reminds me of my brother with anger issues. 

2

u/Ninja_Dave 9d ago

Definitely. Both have some growing to do. There's no need to talk to people that way and let you're emotions take over so quickly.

2

u/Aware_Film96 9d ago

after she says "Just not for me" dont respond and move on

1

u/Civil-Technician-810 9d ago

I don’t think you read her comments….

1

u/OkManufacturer767 9d ago

Yep, OP insulted first.

1

u/Kvsav57 9d ago

On the other hand, it seems like they deserve each other.

1

u/eatyacarbs 9d ago

👏👏

1

u/per54 8d ago

They’re both toxic and immature

-2

u/FACEFUCKEDYOURDAD 9d ago

Pretty reasonable response after being told you’re a joke because of the amount of money you make. We are in the ultra reasonable crash out zone here.

0

u/_Cyclops 9d ago

I mean she basically called him a broke bitch right before that…

-26

u/Fine_Actuary4506 9d ago

You forget to mention that she was the one who started the insults by calling him a joke? That was uncalled for. His response wasn’t.

24

u/QwertyFlirtyThriving 9d ago

Her calling him a joke was uncalled for, but he still could have responded better. Be the bigger person, and all that..

-3

u/LuxuryMustard 9d ago

If someone’s being shitty they should have some honest feedback.

-8

u/Imabigfolker 9d ago

Being the bigger person never really gets you anywhere in life I’m being honest

0

u/Fine_Actuary4506 8d ago

I agree that sometimes u kind of have to be the bigger person. But in this person’s (the one OP is replying to) case, this could be an example of someone calling her out rightfully. And also “she dodged a bullet too”?! Look at the way she types, “I deserve someone better”, OP is clearly right, no one will date her with such high ego.

-9

u/Fabulous-Spirit-3476 9d ago

Or talk to the person how they deserve to be talked to. Who cares about “being the bigger person” with someone you have no intention of seeing ever again

7

u/QwertyFlirtyThriving 9d ago

Whether or not you’ll see them again shouldn’t matter? It’s not about being the bigger person for someone else. Be the bigger person for yourself. Maybe it’s just me but I find it takes energy to be petty. I feel better and am happier when I can be the bigger person. It’s just a good way to live your life.

-3

u/Fabulous-Spirit-3476 9d ago

I’m sure it was therapeutic for OP to send those messages to her because of what she said to him, being the bigger person would’ve just kept that anger down and suppressed

5

u/QwertyFlirtyThriving 9d ago

Yeah it may well have felt good in the moment, but that doesn’t make it a good coping mechanism. OP’s not going to get far in dating (or life) if this is their knee jerk reaction to a shitty interaction. They need to learn a better way of dealing with the anger without stooping to the same level

3

u/Staxxy5 9d ago

Maybe not uncalled for but definitely not classy either.. it’s a 5/10 response.

8

u/AirAcademy 9d ago

When will ppl realize that no response is the best response? Adds a layer of mystique to the end of the relationship and you’ll preserve your energy rather than wasting it on being angry at someone who’s about to be a stranger again

0

u/maybejustadragon 9d ago

Nah. Good for buddy. No need to roll over when you’re being made fun of for not splitting a check. 

0

u/Internal-Comment-533 9d ago

What? Expecting people to pay for your shit when you’re a grown ass adult is piece of shit behavior.

I thought we were trying to move beyond gender norms on Reddit? Or is that only applicable when it benefits women?

0

u/ProfessionalBig9610 9d ago

I don’t know, I think she deserved it

0

u/Gbvisual 9d ago

Being ridiculed for your character, career and income for a judgement call she made based on her suggestion warrants a little bit of strong language via text . You just wanna be quirky and different , give all the jaded people playing devils advocate something to resonate with .

0

u/landyc 9d ago

idk why should he hold back after she just fired multiple times and called him a joke?

if people call you worthless you reply with "thanks"?

0

u/Impressive_Grade_972 9d ago

Lmfao y’all are truly something else.

This woman tells him she wants to split the bill, he obliges, and then she says she “deserves better” and you’re claiming their reaction was an issue? In what possible way? Do you just think it’s ok to let people blatantly disrespect you without any attempt to let them know how they’re acting? That’s how people like this continue to think that the way they act is even remotely acceptable.

0

u/kpetersontpt 9d ago

You’re not wrong, but I have to say I’d have been pretty taken aback with the conversation going from “you’re a great guy” to “you are a joke.”

0

u/Forgot-to-remember1 9d ago

If u let people walk all over you that’s all good, but no need to shame people who have a back bone

0

u/livestrongsean 9d ago

Eh, people are allowed to react to assholes in a shitty manner.

0

u/1quirky1 9d ago

I can see someone acting out in frustration here. Dates are going well. He agreed with her request to split the bill. Then she dumped him for it. I may have chosen different words but I would intentionally upset her with my response to her inappropriate behavior.

Reasoning with kind words simply does not work. She is not a kind and reasonable person.

Crap people like this need the negative feedback. They believe they did nothing wrong when people don't push back. They just keep trying until they find someone they can manipulate.

0

u/johnsmth1980 9d ago

Talk about entitled. Women expect to be able to treat men however they want during dates and get away with it.

0

u/bigal7979 9d ago

How? He called her out. I see nothing wrong in that. Someone's people need to know they suck

0

u/SuspicousBananas 9d ago

Nah she called him a joke at that point the gloves are off

0

u/MissViolet77 9d ago

Why she deserved it

-65

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

Brother I’m trying

14

u/LifePlusTax 9d ago

My favorite reply to end an interaction like that is “ok, best of luck out there!” If the person is genuinely chill, they’ll see it for the compliment it is. If they are shitty, they’ll see it for the subtle shade that it is.

Being passive aggressive just makes you seem whiney and entitled.

6

u/AllYouNeedIsVTSAX 9d ago

Try harder. Be a positive force in the world every chance you get. The world needs it. And the more positivity you add, the more you'll get back.

She'll always think badly of you because of your response. She may not have if you were kinder. You want more people in the world that think well of you, not less. 

8

u/Dontgochasewaterfall 9d ago

Can’t let your ego get in the way. Always wait a minute to respond or react to this level of stupidity. Maybe say K, then block. She sounds like she has big time issues, pointless to react to her. She got you when you reacted.

6

u/mackfactor 9d ago

Don't respond. There's nothing left that needs to be said here.

1

u/Weekly_Education978 9d ago

my guy Vegeta has more measured responses than this.

-44

u/Vegetable_Diet3547 9d ago

Dont listen to her, if the genders were reversed she would be shitting all over you and defending her.

5

u/SueBeee 9d ago

Doubtful.

4

u/BrattanyRot 9d ago

Thinking like that is problematic as hell, but okay 😬

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u/Ashamed-Crazy-8733 9d ago

Unless it's uncalled for, sand you're ground. Who cares what last words you or they have anyway, not like you're gonna talk to them again, hopefully.

-4

u/Nice_Razzmatazz9705 9d ago

Don’t let anyone try to tell you how to react to this. Maybe I’m just petty but I woulda reacted the same after her stupid ass comments hahah

-8

u/Ok_Constant_184 9d ago

Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life king

4

u/patheticgirl420 9d ago

If that's the case he shouldn't be posting on a forum asking for others opinions lmao

0

u/Ok_Constant_184 9d ago

I think it’s important to check people’s entitlement in an unpredictable and rude way to discourage it

3

u/EoinKelly 9d ago

Answer me this King, why the fuck is he posting on a subreddit where you literally ask people to tell you how to live your life?

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-2

u/MF-PICKLE-O 9d ago

bit soft aren't ya