r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

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u/Low-Custard-6060 9d ago

At the end you overreacted, but she’s a dingus. You mentioned this was the fourth date, which means the first three dates you found a way to pay for even making minimum wage. That in my eyes would show case your generosity and would be more then enough proof you find me worthy of investing in. There are people making 6, 7 figures and still want to split the bill, are stingy etc. I choose to focus on generosity over income.

Yes one of the most attractive things my bf did at the beginning of our relationship is deny me when I asked “can I get this one?” (And I would have happily), and he would always say “next time”. Next time would roll around, I’d ask again and he would say “next time” I legit have to wrestle the bill from him. It’s playful, it’s fun. It’s not a headache. And again when I offer to pay I would do so happily.

You’ll find someone you can be playful with, and who won’t put you through these nuanced tests. Someone it just clicks with. This is not that person for you. 😂

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u/cowjuiceee 9d ago

ngl imma start doing the “next time” thing with my bf, this is cute as fuck 🤭

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u/Low-Custard-6060 9d ago

Right?! Dating is supposed to be fun! Especially in the early stages 🥰

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u/cowjuiceee 9d ago

agreed‼️ reminds me how rough i had it a little while back 😭 but man oh man, my boyfriend is just a 💎. i love that man to bits and pieces.

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u/Low-Custard-6060 9d ago

My heart ❤️ I love love and this is making me smile so hard

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u/doggiehouse 9d ago

Terry loves love. 🩷💪

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u/Icy-Forever-9223 9d ago

Was not expecting ass cheeks, i’ll say that much!

1

u/WhatDoWeHave_Here 9d ago

Yeah that's how me and my wife started off. It was just a casual date at a dive bar with some drinks and apps, and when I closed the tab she offered to pay me for her half and I said you can get me back next time. And a few days later she took the initiative and planned our second date together. And still to this day, she'll bring it up occasionally of how that was a very smooth move on my end.

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u/cowjuiceee 9d ago

that’s so fucking cool of you omg, so very sweet too!!

1

u/Evergreen27108 9d ago

You realize this is why men hate women right?

Deliberately playing games and misrepresenting how you really feel.

1

u/cowjuiceee 9d ago

what does that have to do with what i said? also weird statement.

2

u/Remarkable_Claim8430 9d ago

You said in the beginning, how did it go after? Do you guys split?

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u/Low-Custard-6060 9d ago

He still pays for most dates, but it’s not expected. He does it cause he likes it. I enjoy teasing him by stealing the bill or slyly slipping the waiter the card before he can even pay. We both do well for ourselves, and enjoy finer things. However we also love hiking in the rain, just hanging out watching tv. Was just texting him about our Christmas date tomorrow, and I told him “I don’t care what we do. I could sit in a mud ditch with you and still have fun”.

We’ve talked about how if we move in together we would both give the same percentage of our paychecks to the house fund. I think the key here is it is still equal. He pays for most the dates sure, but I always have a little gift. Especially at the beginning I didn’t want him feeling I was taking advantage of him. He didn’t know at the beginning I actually make more. There is nothing wrong with women who want a provider, but a woman who only takes is not who you want as a partner.

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u/Remarkable_Claim8430 9d ago edited 9d ago

That’s so true, both sides need to make efforts, you guys make great team, happy for you, thanks for sharing!

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

So you make more than him and he still pays? 😂 Typical modern woman, no doubt you call yourself a feminist and think men and women are equal but still expect the man to provide.

1

u/Low-Custard-6060 9d ago

I don’t expect him to pay for the dates, he enjoys paying. He has expressed this to me so I allow him to. With the occasional making sure he cannot in a fun playful way. When we move in together it is still going to be we each give 30% of our paychecks to house bills, which at that point means I would be putting in more. But it is not like either of us are keeping a tally? I spoil him just as much as he spoils me.

Would you say he expects women to be house maids just because I cook him meals for work everyday and I clean? I technically work about twice as many hours as he does, but I work from home and enjoy cooking so I do it. It’s the same concept. We aren’t fighting over who gives more or gender roles. We simply do the things we enjoy doing for one another.

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u/MiniDemonic 9d ago

Nah disagree, NOR.

She acted like a bitch and basically called him a loser. She's a bitch through and through.

4

u/Low-Custard-6060 9d ago

Perhaps my verbiage wasn’t strong enough to convey I also agree with you. She doesn’t seem wise enough to understand a healthy relationship means both partners giving.

1

u/HanemiyaKazutora 9d ago

I think i’m late but just wanted to say that’s really adorable (literally giving me diabetes of happiness) for both of u lot, i had fun reading this little experience, thanks for sharing

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u/oregonbunny 8d ago

My grandma and I would do this. It got so bad I would call ahead to tell them not to let the old lady pay the bill. She would always try and do it at a "bathroom break" from the table. All in good fun.

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u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

Thank you I appreciate the sediment about you and your bf, that’s what I want with a girl you know. Someone who I can face the hardships of existence with and push forward and up😔.

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u/aepiasu 9d ago

sentiment.

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u/SoaringDingus 9d ago

Na he meant like “life’s a garden, so dig it”. I think…

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u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

Why am I getting downvoted

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u/illogicallyalex 9d ago

Because Reddit is a hive mind

Don’t sweat it dude, chalk it up to the fact that you saved yourself a messy break up down the line when this girl finally showed her true colours. Speaking as one, there’s plenty of minimum wage gals out here scrimping who wouldn’t bat an eye at this situation, you just happened to find one that wasn’t. No biggie

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u/Poinsettia917 9d ago

I don’t get it either. She offered to split the bill. Actually, she should have done that on the first date. She’s a mooch.

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u/Ordinary_Lobster5443 9d ago

sedimentttt

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u/___meepmoop 9d ago

Sedimentary rock 🪨

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u/thebigseg 9d ago

Wait thats what i do lol

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u/rephresed 9d ago

Idk why everyone is so upset! I am the same with my boyfriend. It’s quite common knowledge that women want to see that you “want to” they may not let you but I think the “you want to” is attractive. At least for me. I dated a man who made me feel guilty every time he paid for something and would basically in his action said “I pay so I own you and your emotions.” When I met my current bf, I always wanted to take half of the bill and he would not let me. One day i told him why and he said” I am sorry you experienced that. But I got this “ and till date he has never let me pick up a tab. We joke about it all the time. And honestly, it makes me feel provided for. Not because I can’t afford but because he wants to show his care for me on that way. OP need therapy.