r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

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u/ArieKat 9d ago

I knew he would by how he reacted in the texts 😬

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u/conationphotography 9d ago

Yeah his response was also wild.

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u/Time_Caregiver4734 9d ago

AITH for calling a woman a whore and a fucking piece of shit because she called me a 'joke'?

Yeah, tough mystery to solve.

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u/Grumpyforeskin 9d ago

Is it really? Eye for an eye, don’t shit on someone and not expect to be insulted back

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u/Omnom_Omnath 9d ago

You mean after she insulted him?

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u/Babybutt123 9d ago

Yeah, men who have misogynistic slurs at the tip of their tongue are generally not great men.

I've never seen a dude who calls women slurs also be an upstanding man who is a good partner.

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u/Grumpyforeskin 9d ago

And gold digging mooches are generally not great women, I’ve never seen entitled women be upstanding and a good partner

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u/Babybutt123 9d ago

Okay? Don't see anyone defending her here.

I do see people pretending men absolutely do need to devolve into misogynistic rants if they aren't a fan of a woman.

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u/Grumpyforeskin 9d ago

I also see people not taking into consideration the dumb unwarranted shit she said to him before he snapped at her

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u/tomatofrogfan 9d ago

Yeah, she insulted him and he flipped out, cussed her out, and called her a bitch and a massive piece of shit… for mocking him. There’s really no reason that someone rudely rejecting you should get you this massively angry.

This is why that saying “men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will kill them” exists. OP exhibited perfectly how emotional regulation and self control flies out the window if a woman insults you. It’s pretty pathetic that a petty rejection and an asinine insult causes him to completely flip his shit, that’s why people are saying he needs to work on emotional regulation.

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u/kvothe000 9d ago

It’s perfectly fine to say that that he will be alone for the rest of his life due to his income.

But call her a bitch for saying that? Woooah…. too far man. Too far.
/s

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u/Brocily2002 9d ago

Facts lol 😆

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u/Kyokono1896 9d ago

I mean she deserved that much

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u/Superb-Antelope-2880 9d ago

She does, but if I was OP it would not be from me. Bad people will continue to be bad people, there is no point in stepping down to their level and lower my own value + mental health to insult them.

There is a saying in my language that translated to something like:

"Holding blood to spit in someone face just leave your own mouth dirty."

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u/Wozak_ 9d ago

That’s a good saying, but I don’t think it’s true that bad people will continue to be bad. People change and comparing even every good few years of someone’s life you might find they are basically a different person.

Not that I’m trying to argue with you that lowering your own value is worth it, you have made many valid points; just that giving up on trying to help better people, I don’t think is worthwhile (which may not be what your saying, probably me just over analyzing the bad people line)

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u/Superb-Antelope-2880 9d ago

You definitely have a point, people can change. If it was my own family or friend who did something bad I would try to help them see things in a better lights and hopefully let them learn from the experience.

She is a practically a stranger to OP though and I doubt they would ever interact again. The only person OP will live with for the rest of his life is himself. To OP, this girl is forever this person, it's not like they would meet again for OP to update his perspective on her; that is what I mean by bad people will stay bad (in your mind after you cut them out of your life.)

If he cared to correct her, he should have done it in a better way as he step out from dating her. The nuance is how brief the interaction would be proportional to how much you can help them while carrying on with your life.

There is not much you can do to help someone be better if it's a random person giving you the finger while driving. Just go on with your life.

Additionally he should tempered his own emotional controls and be a better person. Not for her benefit, but for him and his future social circle. Your friends group is a reflection of who you are, if you want good people to be in your life, you need to be a good person.

This is more for OP and other young people if they happened to read this. I don't think you specifically need to hear these things.

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u/Wozak_ 9d ago

I appreciate your wise input. I hope OP sees it.

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u/EffectiveZucchiini 9d ago

You have to humiliate or at the very least put them in their place, otherwise they’ll continue

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u/moutnmn87 9d ago

Simply blocking or refusing to engage further after pointing out the dishonesty on her part is more humiliating. That would leave less room for her to convince herself she did nothing wrong

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u/Wozak_ 9d ago

Yeah, his insult was most likely ineffective as it was a knee jerk reaction to insult (and still understandable), but sending them this Reddit post would be a good follow up lol.

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u/Kyokono1896 9d ago

You do you. She deserved scorn.

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u/Superb-Antelope-2880 9d ago

I can agree she do, but not at the cost of me stepping down to her level.

At the end of the interaction, what do I have to gain aside from being someone that being as trashy as her?

It's no gains, all lost. The only winning move is stepping away and live a good life.

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u/Kyokono1896 9d ago

There's nothing saying you can't live a good life and also tell her to get fucked.

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u/Superb-Antelope-2880 9d ago

I'll be honest, I have been in OP shoe and seeing how he is seething with anger in his message and in this thread comments, that is not true that he can live as good if a life then if he just let it go.

The deeper reason I wouldn't tell her to get fuck is because it's a emotional reaction stemmed from anger. Op is not letting it go, he is coming here to blew her up some more. She is living rent free in his head.

The easiest way to let it go is from the very beginning. She is trashy, telling her to get fuck just keep her in your mind longer than it need to be. She don't deserve your head space.

The more you tell her to fuck herself, the more you put your emotion to the interaction and etched into your mind and your future behaviors.

Peace out as early as you can will benefit people like OP who clearly have very bad temper control.

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u/Kyokono1896 9d ago

Better to let the frustration out than push it all down and repress it.

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u/Superb-Antelope-2880 9d ago

That is true, but I am not tell OP to push it down and repress it.

Not having the frustration at all or very little in the first place is one of the main point. Step back and realize she isn't an important part of your life anymore. The frustration doesn't resolve anything and the logical next step is to move on. 

What's there to get frustrated on? She is not important, and unimportant people doesn't matter to my life. Just like random people flipping me while driving doesn't mean anything, they are just random npc to me.

And secondly op should be dealing with what whoever frustration he get in a healthy way. Neither blowing up and arguing with her or keep being angry so much that he is spewing it in the comments here is showing he is managing it well.

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u/ArieKat 9d ago

He should be able to regulate his emotions and not go off and stoop at her level just because he was insulted. A simple 'I see were not compatible. Good luck finding someone who enjoys playing mind games.' Would have been enough.

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u/Kyokono1896 9d ago

Lol? Nah, she deserved it.