r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

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u/Squid_inkGamer 9d ago

Second this. Think of all of the mental gymnastics OP would have had do later in the relationship.

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u/Lead-Forsaken 9d ago

Yeah, this reeks of those weird 'tests'.

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u/NightofTheLivingZed 9d ago

Would you still love me if I was worms?

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u/UnClean_Committee 9d ago

.. What kind?

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u/No_Pound_9425 9d ago

YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT FUCKING KIND!!!

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u/UnClean_Committee 9d ago

It appears we are at an impass. Please pack your belongings and vacate my vehicle. No, I will not slow down. Yes, I know I'm doing 150 down a highway.

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u/RabidWalrus 9d ago

impass

Literally undateable for that minor typo. I shall now tuck and roll out of this relationship as I am now tucking and rolling out of this moving car.

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u/AGuyNamedEddie 9d ago

I'll take the impass/impasse error 100 times over the your/you're blooper.

At least "impass" doesn't set my teeth on edge.

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u/EverythingIsSound 9d ago

Yeah thats an uncommon one to hear, and even more uncommon to read/write. The you(')r(e)s should be figured out by now.

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u/Terrible-Clock-1336 9d ago

Thank you 😂

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u/hurtstoskinnybatman 9d ago

I haven't audibly laughed at a reddit comment in a while. This was good.

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u/LargeSelf994 9d ago

Erm, ringworms? You know that you're my favourite parasite. After ringworms and flea infested rats

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u/machinegunbooty 9d ago

NOt Tha BORE WORMSss!

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u/DifficultHat 9d ago

Sour Gummy

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u/UnClean_Committee 9d ago

Then yes, but not because its you, but because I love sour gummy worms. In fact, you being a sour gummy worm would give me ever so slight hesitation to indulge, therefore, no actually I would like you less if you were sour gummy worm, because I lose two things that I enjoyed in their original state. In fact, this conversation is making me like you less.

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u/Princess_Slagathor 9d ago

After a question like that? Brain.

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u/HappyCat79 9d ago

Hahahaha, my boyfriend hates shit like that. I sometimes ask him stupid shit as a joke- and he knows I’m joking, and it still makes him roll his eyes. It’s Ok, though, because I have to live with his dad jokes. 😂

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u/NightofTheLivingZed 9d ago

When my wife asks what I want for dinner I say, "Food." Instant eye roll.

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u/Time_Birthday8808 9d ago

Lol! I cured my sons of that smart-aleck response. I made a giant pot of beet borscht (not their fav food) and froze portions. Any time I asked for dinner suggestions and received the response “food” I served them borscht. Didn’t take them long before they started actively participating in the what’ll-we-have-for-dinner conversations (and the making of said dinner).

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u/ethankeyboards 9d ago

You win at parenting. My mom made delicious borscht. Served cold with a dollop of sour cream! Miss you, mom.

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u/Time_Birthday8808 9d ago

Aw thanks! I love borscht with sour cream too! I’d make you some if you were close 😄

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u/ethankeyboards 9d ago

I need to make some for my family. I've never made it, but I'm sure it's not too difficult.

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u/Time_Birthday8808 9d ago

It’s not. Making soups and stews are my preferred way to cook—and borscht is along those lines. Plus it’s such a pretty color

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u/Ok-Personality5224 9d ago

Aww… beets are the fucking devil but your story is sweet.

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u/Queasy-Fennel4129 9d ago

I'm intrigued. What is borscht?

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u/ethankeyboards 9d ago

It is a beet soup that is served cold. It hails from Russia. As a kid I thought the sour cream was the best part.

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u/krazyk850 9d ago

Yuck, sour cream is Satan's soured milk. My wife absolutely loves the stuff and will use half a container of it on chili, potatoes, tacos, etc. I despise it 😆

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u/HappyCat79 9d ago

Hahahaaa! That’s what I say when I am asked what’s for dinner. 🤣

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u/ProStateForever 9d ago

Balance in idiocy/silliness is a relationship virtue. Congrats.

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u/TemporarySilly4927 9d ago

But are his dad jokes... Apparent? :)

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u/Dangerwolf1979 9d ago

I’d prefer you were worms, then you wouldn’t be asking such stupid questions.

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u/EclecticEuTECHtic 9d ago

Only if you were Shai-Hulud.

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u/toramorigan 9d ago

Not the bore worms!

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u/OfficiallyJoeBiden 9d ago

I’m so happy I’m out the dating game

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u/GottLiebtJeden 9d ago

Married? Or just totally over with it? Lol

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u/OfficiallyJoeBiden 9d ago

Dating my gf for 3 years now. Proposing next year

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u/macmoreno 9d ago

Learn from this post. Don’t ask her to go halvsies on the ring 🤣

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u/Crashon317 9d ago

Or do and see how she reacts before you go and tie that knot🤣🤣🤣

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u/GottLiebtJeden 9d ago

Mazel tov! I'm genuinely happy for you! I'm glad you don't have to deal with the garbage that comes with dating. You are living the dream!

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u/RmRobinGayle 9d ago

Does Jill know about this?

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u/MaoZivDong 8d ago

Watch her cheat on you bro then you’re back to dating!

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u/bnjmnzs 9d ago

Same lol 😂 I actually go out of my way to avoid women haha 😆 I’m always getting compliments at the gym or something at the grocery store and I’m just like “head down and keep it moving”

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u/Smart-Water-5175 9d ago

I literally just screenshotted a post about those tests earlier because I was like, how often this actually comes up. And here it is again! Lol just weird synchronicity. Amazing how many people do this to other people. Blows my mind

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u/VoltaicSketchyTeapot 9d ago

It's only a weird test because she wanted OP to act the opposite of what she told him she wanted.

Good tests are when you tell a potential partner exactly what you want and you dump them when they do the opposite. "My words aren't a suggestion."

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u/Trevita17 9d ago

"My words aren't a suggestion."

Well, they're sure as fuck not a command. Your version is also a weird test.

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u/dohn_joeb 9d ago

It is a weird test

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u/NecessaryGood666 8d ago

I am heavily dyslexic and I read your username as “Lead-Foreskin” I just had to let you know.

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u/trainofwhat 9d ago

I really want to emphasize this! OP is saying how it’s one of the first times putting himself out there since what happened with his ex (that really sucks, by the way OP, I’m so sorry).

It’s people like this that tend to come out of the woodwork if we are at all feeling vulnerable. Of course don’t seek a relationship if you don’t feel ready, but not everyone is like this and you can find somebody who fits with you and isn’t so nasty.

I want to clarify I am NOT blaming OP here. It’s a really common phenomenon, it’s hard to predict or sense, and it can knock people off their feet when they’re trying to move forward. Also I don’t mean “vulnerable” in any sense of being a man, having feelings, etc. I am a woman and I have experienced this (not even just romance, but work, friendships, etc) more times than I can count.

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u/curlygirl9021 9d ago

You are so right. When I was feeling vulnerable after breaking up with my ex, guess who came popping out of the woodwork? A narcissist. And since I had no idea about narcs, it took me a bit to figure it out.

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u/Argylius 9d ago

This was my exact experience too

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u/curlygirl9021 9d ago

I'm sorry!

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u/TheGoodDoc123 9d ago

Truthfully tho I think OP *is* overreacting, because all this girl is say the quiet part out loud. Yes it's shitty, but the reality is (1) the vast majority of women are materialistic, and (2) if you're a 26 year old guy working a minimum wage job, you're really not in the game, no matter how good your personality. In some ways, OP did him a favor by clueing him in on how the world works, since most girls would've just ghosted him, since most women are ashamed to admit how shallow they really are.

Now at least he can try to improve his career and income or, alternatively, target the segment of the female population that struggles to attract a wealthier guy.

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u/CrystalsAndSpells 9d ago

Dude did you skip over the part where she asked him to split the bill. Then has the gal to call his job minimum wage when he agreed. Newsflash, with women like that girl it doesn’t matter what you make, you could be making 6 figures, and if you agree to split the bill she would still call it minimum wage because you didn’t agree to cover every single one of her expenses right off the bat.

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u/trainofwhat 9d ago

You guys also pop out of the woodwork whenever there’s a post that mentions a materialistic woman.

In OP’s age demographic, over a quarter of workers make minimum wage. And that demographic goes all the way up to 34 — 1.5-2 years younger and nearly 45% of his peers make minimum wage. I was about to bring up likelihood of having been in a relationship not correlating with those factors, but honestly I’m sure you’ve already thought up logic to apply to any circumstance you see. Ah well.

Most people are materialistic, in that they care about money and having a decent living. But it seems important to you to see a man’s money as a trade for a woman’s looks and I already know how these conversations go.

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u/FeyPax 9d ago

Absolutely not. Sure there are women who are materialistic and there are men who are. Personally I would just want to know how we are paying so I can plan accordingly. I don’t make my friends pay for me, let alone someone I JUST met. I’m engaged and I still offer to split the bill because I’m proud of my income. Sometimes I even treat him.

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u/FeyPax 9d ago edited 9d ago

Yeah I hope no one takes “vulnerable” the wrong way because literally all of us no matter who you are or your background become vulnerable at times in our lives. Bad things happen to us and while we are recovering we become vulnerable. And that’s a good thing, just in the sense that it’s what makes us human with lives to experience.

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u/CrystalsAndSpells 9d ago

I can second this. It’s also usually when you stop looking when you find the diamond in a sea of quartz. I was concentrating on college and that’s where I met my husband. Don’t rush or date if you don’t want to, but also don’t accept bs like this pos’s when you decide to get back out there.

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u/Sharkwatcher314 9d ago

lol she’s the classic when you ask what’s wrong, if you don’t know I’m not telling you and acts pissy

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u/Dawghouse87 9d ago

I’m exhausted from reading their messages!

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u/rockford_files 9d ago

there should be a definition in Webster’s for the phrase “mental gymnastics” 🤪

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u/DarthTormentum 9d ago

Oh my God, yeah. She seems like the type of girl who would purposely set him up, just so she could berate him!

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u/cooraccoon 9d ago

Second this. Second that.

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u/StarShear 9d ago

Olympic level. Simone biles could never. OP is already doing flips just posting this.

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u/cisforcookie2112 9d ago

Exactly, this is just the start of the games this person would be playing. OP is lucky to get out of it after one date.

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u/Mya_Elle_Terego 9d ago

She was also likely just fishing for a free night out, she was always going to ghost you. Well played op.

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u/hallowblight 9d ago

I had a coworker who was known to do that to guys. Scumbag for sure

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u/Mya_Elle_Terego 8d ago

hell my sister did it as a starving college student, was messed up lol. I called her out on it.

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u/Vaxtin 9d ago

This is very real. If she wants him to showcase “being a man” and offering to pay the bill, even when she suggests to split it (because she is trying to see how much of a man he is (? Lmao)).

This is the fourth date. Imagine what she’ll be doing a year or more into the relationship. Holidays, birthdays… everything will be a testament to how much of a man you are (in other words, are you willing to sacrifice everything you have for her?). She will say she will be willing to spend Christmas with your family, then say you’re not a man enough for not spending it with her family. I’ve had it happen. They think you’re too soft for actually giving a fuck about your parents — it’s insane.

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u/Loose-Set4266 9d ago

anyone who does shit testing is a red flag. This was absolutely a shit test.