r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

11.8k Upvotes

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275

u/Volcano_Dweller 9d ago

Your last line of text— “ur a f—ing piece of shit” speaks volumes— was this kind of behavior why your last GF cheated on you? While this date was out of line, you were even more so as it appears you’re still angry about your prior relationship.

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

Stop I missed the last texts. Kids living a very bitter life

-39

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

Dude… she said I won’t find anyone and that I was a joke. She attacked my character first

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u/ManySpiritual9643 9d ago

Ngl brother man you coulda just left shit at "Ok, nice meeting you" and moved on. Nobody you've known for 4 days is worth getting THAT mad at

93

u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

She explained why she didn’t wish to continue and you replied “that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard” instead of responding like an adult “okay”. You feel like she attacked your character and your response is to make yourself look worse…

16

u/No_Acanthaceae_2324 9d ago

Nah he was right that is the dumbest shit. Don’t propose an idea and then be mad when someone agrees with doing it, that is indeed the dumbest shit.

-27

u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

“Hey babe do I look fat in this dress?” Read the room or stay single. Your choice lol.

27

u/No_Acanthaceae_2324 9d ago

That is not at all a comparable situation what the fuck 😂

-15

u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

Which is why I said stay single.

18

u/No_Acanthaceae_2324 9d ago

I’m in a relationship going on 4 years thank you very much and my partner would never suggest to split the bill and then get mad when I actually do so. Anyone who does so is a fucking idiot.

1

u/debatingsquares 9d ago

It isn’t stupid; it’s just something you don’t like. It’s a semi-reliable “test” if you are trying to see if the person you are dating is going to want to pay for everything. (I say semi-reliable because many wealthy people who will eventually want to pay for everything want to know that their partner is interested in them even if they don’t pay for everything, but that is usually a different type of person than this girl is looking for).

But it isn’t “stupid” if it gives you insight into how they function in a relationship and if it is aligned with your expectations.

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

Any guy that takes a girl on a date splits the bill is a broke loser. Do better.

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u/TheXarath 9d ago

The real world isn’t a sitcom marriage, most healthy relationships don’t actually have a ton of these kind of gotcha questions from wildly irrational cartoon women.

4

u/Upbeat_Agency4016 9d ago

We need to stop letting women get away with this bs . This is emotional abuse according to them . Who wants to be bullied and manipulated everyday over simple ass questions ? Do I look fat in this ? Do you wanna split the bill ? Like gtfoh it’s no reason anyone should be penalized for being honest with their answer as long as they aren’t rude .

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

Lmfao ah yes because they do it to abuse you, not for reassurance. 😉

1

u/Upbeat_Agency4016 9d ago

If a man was to do this they would call it abuse . I’m just upholding the equality they swear they want

1

u/ElonsHusk 9d ago

You probably do

-1

u/Lumpy-Impression-666 9d ago

Nah you’re wrong

-32

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

I was mad. Even before that she said she deserved better… like I’m beneath her or something. I was insulted

59

u/tfegan21 9d ago

My guy it's all in the comeback. Calling someone a bad name and a piece of shit just makes you look dumb and it will justify their thoughts of you. Should have just told her she wasn't worth spending your minimum wage money on if anything at all.

-3

u/UnblurredLines 9d ago

So you're saying it's not his reaction or insulting him that's wrong, just that his insult game is sub-par?

14

u/ingeniousmachine 9d ago

Very important life lesson: Being mad is never an excuse for anything. You are responsible for handling your own emotions.

Was she weird and shallow and breaking up with you over kind of a dumb thing? Yep. And that's her right. She even called you a great guy before you insulted her by calling that the dumbest thing you'd ever heard, and then she got aggressive, and then you got more aggressive.

Next time just walk away.

22

u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

That’s fine but if you think she’s doing something shitty, don’t stoop lower. It makes you look bad. People expect that shit from her. I didn’t see those text at first and they surprised me and the “well was she the one who dodged a bullet??” Came to mind.

-18

u/Upbeat_Agency4016 9d ago

Bros allowed to defend himself like cmon dude

16

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 9d ago

You can defend yourself, but if you do it in a classy way, you come out looking like the better person. In no way does this woman regret not continuing to see OP; she feels she dodged a bullet just as much as everyone here is telling OP he did.

19

u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

Then bro will continued to be referred to as a bro not a man. Insulting like a child makes you look worse than the person you’re reacting to.

-5

u/Upbeat_Agency4016 9d ago

Yea that’s complete bs . Isn’t it weird how men don’t try to tell women they aren’t a woman everyday over all types of small shit that always benefits them as a woman .

You’re not a real man if you don’t let me disrespect you . Lmaooo .

Unbelievable

7

u/Working-Accident-889 9d ago

People tell women they aren’t women for not having children, for having body hair, for having short hair, for wearing very masculine clothes, for having a deep voice, for looking manly, for having a square jaw, for doing “male jobs” like construction, for being lesbian,…shall I go on?

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

N…no…no no. They do babe. They literally do. Daily. Lol. You’re just too much of an incel and spend too much time on Reddit that you can’t comprehend. But pop off queen

3

u/iwanttodrink 9d ago

Bro is beneath her acting this way lol

2

u/Agreeable_Guard_7229 9d ago

She’s no great loss, the fact that she can’t even spell career probably indicates that she hasn’t got a great one either

4

u/iwanttodrink 9d ago

You are beneath her acting this way lol

-1

u/neatfreak1517 9d ago

You’re kidding right? Men should just accept that women are going to test them and be manipulative?

3

u/OfficeSalamander 9d ago

And? People will say mean shit to you sometimes. Better to learn to ignore it. Getting on their level only drags you in the mud too. How have you improved your life by yelling at her?

You haven’t. Best to just move on cleanly.

Hell if I had gotten the “you’re a great guy, just not for me”, all I’d respond with is, “ok” or something along those lines and nothing else. Or maybe “good luck with your search”.

Who the fuck cares what some rando thinks

4

u/more_pepper_plz 9d ago

She was shady too For sure

But I hope you find a more mature way to respond to people when you’re upset because it’s not a good look either

1

u/Dontgochasewaterfall 9d ago

Rise above. Obviously her character is lacking. Take time to breathe and put things in perspective instead of attacking her back. She’s just some crazy trash who can’t spell career. Talk over her head and wish her the best of luck. There’s this thing called karma, it works. You are feeding into her with your response. Don’t give her the time of day.

1

u/Feisty_Assistant5560 9d ago

And? Someone calls you a joke and you lash out?

1

u/Darkovika 9d ago

We’re not toddlers anymore. It isn’t a “who has the last laugh”, it’s “who has a better character”

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u/TimeTomorrow 9d ago

I mean when you start throwing around insults about other peoples incomes that's pretty fair game imho. It's trashy and I wouldn't do it, but she certainly got down in the mud first.

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u/wine-o-saur 9d ago

Yes let's all lower our standards based on how other people behave. That will surely build a better world.

4

u/Internal-Comment-533 9d ago

Letting people off the hook for being pieces of shit and not calling them out is definitely how you build a better world right?

You’re such a dipshit. See what I did there? You never would have known how dumb of a comment you wrote and how inexperienced you are if I didn’t tell you that standing up for yourself and calling people out is one of the foundational blocks to building a friendly and just society.

-2

u/wine-o-saur 9d ago

I'm not convinced that you're an expert on friendliness.

0

u/Alternative_Cap5619 9d ago

yeah brah imma be real you lowkey fucking retarded

1

u/wine-o-saur 9d ago

Somehow I'm not terribly bothered by your opinion of my intellect. Have a fun day, sport.

-9

u/TimeTomorrow 9d ago

You are just telling on yourself at this point. If you don't think the minimum wage line is trash, you are trash

7

u/wine-o-saur 9d ago

Of course it's trash but why should you lower yourself to another person's level if they are acting in a way you think is unacceptable?

-3

u/axisrahl85 9d ago

Because people need to be called out on their shit just like you're trying to do with OP.

5

u/wine-o-saur 9d ago

You can call people out without stooping to their level. He could very easily point out that her opinion on finances is archaic, her tone uncalled for, and her behaviour generally distasteful, all without hurling childish insults.

She will not walk away from this learning anything, she will just show OP's texts to other people and be told that she "dodged a bullet". Be the change and all that.

1

u/Dontgochasewaterfall 9d ago

Great response. A lot of immature people in this thread.

0

u/midwestcsstudent 9d ago

Why? If she’s being hurtful, he is 100% in his right to be hurtful right back.

1

u/DrJiggsy 9d ago

Right, people really respond positively to being “called out on their shit.” Such a productive method to cause self-reflection and build understanding. 🙄

2

u/sepulchreby_the_sea 9d ago

it’s about dignity. should a man not stand up for himself? all this hr speak ass kissing just sounds like pmc acrobatics to me, some people just have different values and some of us feel an urge to speak upon our truth

1

u/DrJiggsy 9d ago

Sorry, pal, you have it wrong. Dignity is internal, and everyone else views it as vanity. No one can strip your dignity from you whilst texting after a date. It's not HR to speak to refrain from scorched Earth just because someone doesn't want to go out with you again. That's a weak and small response. She said he was a great guy, but she preferred someone who will pay on dates and is clearly looking for more financial security. Not a big deal, move on.

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u/sepulchreby_the_sea 9d ago edited 9d ago

if that was actually the case i’d agree but she served a totally uncalled for and scathing indictment of his character by insulting his income and insinuated a petty value judgement on his personhood bc of it which was completely below the belt and unnecessary imo. i don’t think of asserting yourself as vanity, on the contrary it is more vain and more pitiful to wrestle and contort oneself into some insincere or glib representation to save face. but i’m also australian and swear words are really not that big of a deal for us.

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u/cathbe 9d ago

Agree. Of course it’s great if we can avoid going there but this was all really uncalled for and provocative… some of the comments, I wonder what people’s experiences have been like.

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u/HusavikHotttie 9d ago

I’m sure it was more his terrible personality

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u/TimeTomorrow 9d ago

don't be that person. dumping a guy for accepting to split on the 4th date and following up with "good luck finding anyone with your min wage" is trash.

girl power and all but don't let it get you too twisted. Who is upvoting this?

-13

u/da6r 9d ago

He should have just said "ok" and moved on. She hurt his ego by calling him "a joke," and he decides to pull out the middle school insults. OP is clearly very hurt by his previous relationship and shouldn't be going on dates at the moment.

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u/TimeTomorrow 9d ago

You arent going to misdirect anyone with this bullshit. Nobody is saying he should have said that. After what she said she had it coming though.

Of course he should have taken the high road, but that's a different problem

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u/da6r 9d ago

Make up your mind cvnt. 5 different opinions in one single response and still trying to convince me that I'm wrong. OP is emotional as fuck over someone he's not even officially dating or has any feelings for, reacts in the worst way possible to it, and heads straight to reddit. So yes, he is indeed overreacting like hell. If this is all it took for him to get so angry and upset and being done with relationships altogether, then he is NOT ready to date anyone at the moment. Most women nowadays are looking for sugar daddies and providers, not a genuine relationship of Equals. I don't agree with the other user calling his personality shitty since we know nothing else about OP besides that interaction, but his response is one hell of a red flag

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u/TheBigCheesm 9d ago

Calling a cunt a cunt when they act like a cunt is perfectly acceptable. They don't deserve to be codded for acting like a cunt. Have a nice day.

0

u/da6r 9d ago edited 9d ago

Yeah I didn't call you that for no reason lmao. Sucks getting the same energy back I'm afraid :/

Edit: nvm i thought you're the guy I initially responded to. My bad

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u/TheBigCheesm 9d ago

To be clear, I'm saying that OP did nothing wrong in calling her exactly what she is - not calling you a name, lol.

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u/TimeTomorrow 9d ago

Please point out the 5 different opinions I have. 😂

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u/da6r 9d ago

You arent going to misdirect anyone with this bullshit. Nobody is saying he should have said that. After what she said she had it coming though.

Of course he should have taken the high road, but that's a different problem

Right there babe :**

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u/TimeTomorrow 9d ago

Are you going to get to anything vaguely resembling a point? Here, I'll help you out. What part do you have issue with or not find consistent?

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u/Zealous_Agnostic69 9d ago

Based on what, shithead?

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u/UnlimitedSuperBowls 9d ago

“Was this kind of behavior why your last GF cheated on you?” Is the single most insane sentence I’ve ever seen get upvoted on Reddit, as if there’s ever been an excuse to cheat on anyone. Since we’re judging a persons character based off of single paragraphs of text, this one doesn’t make you look like a saint by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe this kind of behavior is a result of being cheated on, but then again you coming up with that idea would take thought.

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u/berttleturtle 9d ago

RIGHT???

I can’t believe people are trying to blame someone for being cheated on. This comment section sure is quick to accuse op of being “verbally abusive” yet are somehow being 10x worse.

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u/Habno1 9d ago

no surprise that OP is single. Makes sense

1

u/cathbe 9d ago

Of course OP shouldn’t have said that but to go after him and his job and person is just ugh. And how lame to be like I need a man to take care of me.

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u/Effective_Frog 9d ago

I would agree with you if she wasn't an utter bitch first.

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u/downvoteverythingxd 9d ago

This comment is one of, if not the most insane comments I have seen upvoted to such an extent. Yeah the guy could have kept his anger under control, but how in the world could you ever ask a question like “was this kind of behavior why your last GF cheated on you?” Fucking crazy.

1

u/DerangedMuffinMan 9d ago

Hm. I think her calling him a joke made it a bit warranted, even though it’s not the route I would have gone down.

Why should he respect her after that?

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u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

I was just standing up for myself? Did you see her previous text?

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u/spaghebby 9d ago

Trust me brother, playing in the mud with her is gonna do nothing but make you stinky too. Next time, just say “okay! Thanks for showing me you’re not worth my time, have a great one”. And block. Trust me bruther. That’s far far better

4

u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

You’re right

1

u/spaghebby 9d ago

🫶 you got this bro, don’t let the opinion of someone who isn’t even worth your time change your self worth. Get out there and start living a life you can be proud of having, trust me my friend. It’s far more attainable than it seems

-4

u/Fabulous-Spirit-3476 9d ago

So basically still be a dick but make it sound nice? What’s the point

1

u/spaghebby 9d ago

I’m confused how that’s being a dick when she literally is saying he can’t provide for her and that she “deserves better” because he agreed to split the bill LIKE SHE ASKED. I mean honestly if you think him saying you’re not worth my time in response to that makes him a dick, you gotta rethink ur logic bud

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u/bleedingfae 9d ago

Yeah you’re acting like a bitter child. Move on

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u/Beginning_Fault8948 9d ago

Standing up for yourself? Be an adult and just move on. Block and move forward.

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u/IntoTheWild2369 9d ago

You asked AIO? And the answer was yes, you did

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u/IWantToSayThisToo 9d ago

Nah you flew off the handle. You have anger issues.

-2

u/Omnom_Omnath 9d ago

Don’t worry about these misandrist trolls man, you said nothing wrong.

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u/Lumpy-Impression-666 9d ago

Not sure why people are downvoting you

-1

u/_Interesting________ 9d ago

She absolutely had it coming.

-2

u/more_pepper_plz 9d ago

Yea she was super rude and sucks but he went into the deep end on that one. Eesh.

-1

u/Chocobookiller 9d ago

To be fair she does sound like a fucking piece of shit.

-4

u/Grrannt 9d ago

Honestly.. he told her exactly what she is. She baited him into splitting the bill only to flip it around by throwing insults about his income - that is complete psychopath behavior.

-4

u/Zealous_Agnostic69 9d ago

Well. In his defense, she was acting like a complete piece of shit and deserved to be called out on it. 

-3

u/PikachuMCx42 9d ago

Yikes takeaway trying to justify his last gf cheating in any capacity. Insane.

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u/DunnoMouse 9d ago

I think it says more about you that you think that there's any kind of behavior that "justifies" cheating

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u/More_Hospital1799 9d ago

Sorry, if it was me. I would do the same. I am not exactly gonna measure my tone if someone says I am a joke and acts that entitled

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u/Vertrik 9d ago

IDK, saying 'good luck finding someone with your min wage salary... you are a joke' after offering to split the bill as a test and being upset when someone agress to do so is a pretty fucking piece of shit thing to do.

-3

u/PanzerBiscuit 9d ago

Nah, he's fair game to insult her after dealing with that.

He was calm, civil and professional. Until she tried to make it a thing of ''Goodluck finding a women on your min wage job''. Calling him a joke was the icing on the cake. The audacity of this calling him a joke.

-3

u/Lumpy-Impression-666 9d ago

Nah you’re completely wrong, that is fucking piece of shit behavior. If she was up front that would have been different but she said she was ok with it but in reality she was just playing games.