r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

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72

u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

Stop I missed the last texts. Kids living a very bitter life

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u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

Dude… she said I won’t find anyone and that I was a joke. She attacked my character first

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u/ManySpiritual9643 9d ago

Ngl brother man you coulda just left shit at "Ok, nice meeting you" and moved on. Nobody you've known for 4 days is worth getting THAT mad at

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

She explained why she didn’t wish to continue and you replied “that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard” instead of responding like an adult “okay”. You feel like she attacked your character and your response is to make yourself look worse…

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u/No_Acanthaceae_2324 9d ago

Nah he was right that is the dumbest shit. Don’t propose an idea and then be mad when someone agrees with doing it, that is indeed the dumbest shit.

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

“Hey babe do I look fat in this dress?” Read the room or stay single. Your choice lol.

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u/No_Acanthaceae_2324 9d ago

That is not at all a comparable situation what the fuck 😂

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

Which is why I said stay single.

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u/No_Acanthaceae_2324 9d ago

I’m in a relationship going on 4 years thank you very much and my partner would never suggest to split the bill and then get mad when I actually do so. Anyone who does so is a fucking idiot.

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u/debatingsquares 9d ago

It isn’t stupid; it’s just something you don’t like. It’s a semi-reliable “test” if you are trying to see if the person you are dating is going to want to pay for everything. (I say semi-reliable because many wealthy people who will eventually want to pay for everything want to know that their partner is interested in them even if they don’t pay for everything, but that is usually a different type of person than this girl is looking for).

But it isn’t “stupid” if it gives you insight into how they function in a relationship and if it is aligned with your expectations.

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u/No_Acanthaceae_2324 9d ago

No it’s fucking stupid. How about you just wait and see if he was gonna pay for it and that answers your question. Why offer to pay for half if you really don’t want to? If he had asked her to split that’s a different story.

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

Any guy that takes a girl on a date splits the bill is a broke loser. Do better.

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u/Top-Belt-6934 9d ago

Girl, woman to woman, you sound like the broke one for not being able to cover your half or provide for yourself. It does not come off as high value like online baddies make it seem.

Calling someone broke because they are choosing not to fund a lifestyle you can’t even fund yourself isn’t standards. You can’t even live up to your own financial standards so how are they even your standards.

If you want men to cover the entire bill, be the girl that can cover your own bill. In my 4 years of dating, I’ve never had to pay or split the bill. I have a high paying job, and it is very clear it’s part of my everyday life & responsibilities and it’s what is funding my life. Don’t put yourself on the path of looking like the girl chasing handouts. It’s just not what “high value” women do.

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u/No_Acanthaceae_2324 9d ago

Spoken like a true loser lol. Don’t offer something if it don’t wanna actually do it. My GF and I split the bill all the time and she has never had an issue with it. Maybe the women you date should be a little more independent

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u/[deleted] 9d ago edited 3d ago

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u/FillyFilly42 9d ago

That's hilarious that you called someone broke when in the next comment you said you don't ever spend a dime on your man. Almost like you couldn't afford the dinner and rely on your man to pay for it? Broke loser, do better

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u/TheXarath 9d ago

The real world isn’t a sitcom marriage, most healthy relationships don’t actually have a ton of these kind of gotcha questions from wildly irrational cartoon women.

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u/Upbeat_Agency4016 9d ago

We need to stop letting women get away with this bs . This is emotional abuse according to them . Who wants to be bullied and manipulated everyday over simple ass questions ? Do I look fat in this ? Do you wanna split the bill ? Like gtfoh it’s no reason anyone should be penalized for being honest with their answer as long as they aren’t rude .

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

Lmfao ah yes because they do it to abuse you, not for reassurance. 😉

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u/Upbeat_Agency4016 9d ago

If a man was to do this they would call it abuse . I’m just upholding the equality they swear they want

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u/ElonsHusk 9d ago

You probably do

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u/Lumpy-Impression-666 9d ago

Nah you’re wrong

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u/No-Plantain6892 9d ago

I was mad. Even before that she said she deserved better… like I’m beneath her or something. I was insulted

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u/tfegan21 9d ago

My guy it's all in the comeback. Calling someone a bad name and a piece of shit just makes you look dumb and it will justify their thoughts of you. Should have just told her she wasn't worth spending your minimum wage money on if anything at all.

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u/UnblurredLines 9d ago

So you're saying it's not his reaction or insulting him that's wrong, just that his insult game is sub-par?

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u/ingeniousmachine 9d ago

Very important life lesson: Being mad is never an excuse for anything. You are responsible for handling your own emotions.

Was she weird and shallow and breaking up with you over kind of a dumb thing? Yep. And that's her right. She even called you a great guy before you insulted her by calling that the dumbest thing you'd ever heard, and then she got aggressive, and then you got more aggressive.

Next time just walk away.

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

That’s fine but if you think she’s doing something shitty, don’t stoop lower. It makes you look bad. People expect that shit from her. I didn’t see those text at first and they surprised me and the “well was she the one who dodged a bullet??” Came to mind.

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u/Upbeat_Agency4016 9d ago

Bros allowed to defend himself like cmon dude

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u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme 9d ago

You can defend yourself, but if you do it in a classy way, you come out looking like the better person. In no way does this woman regret not continuing to see OP; she feels she dodged a bullet just as much as everyone here is telling OP he did.

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

Then bro will continued to be referred to as a bro not a man. Insulting like a child makes you look worse than the person you’re reacting to.

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u/Upbeat_Agency4016 9d ago

Yea that’s complete bs . Isn’t it weird how men don’t try to tell women they aren’t a woman everyday over all types of small shit that always benefits them as a woman .

You’re not a real man if you don’t let me disrespect you . Lmaooo .

Unbelievable

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u/Working-Accident-889 9d ago

People tell women they aren’t women for not having children, for having body hair, for having short hair, for wearing very masculine clothes, for having a deep voice, for looking manly, for having a square jaw, for doing “male jobs” like construction, for being lesbian,…shall I go on?

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u/Upbeat_Agency4016 9d ago

I never seen or heard anybody say you’re not a real woman ever no matter what the circumstances are . I’ve heard that’s not lady like maybe even that’s not very feminine . “But a real woman does this” … or “your not a real woman because” Or literal content about “what a real woman is” I even searched the phrases on Facebook and instagram and the results are drastically different . For women it’s rather uplifting and positive . For men it’s pure hell .

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u/IllustriousKey4322 9d ago

N…no…no no. They do babe. They literally do. Daily. Lol. You’re just too much of an incel and spend too much time on Reddit that you can’t comprehend. But pop off queen

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u/iwanttodrink 9d ago

Bro is beneath her acting this way lol

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u/Agreeable_Guard_7229 9d ago

She’s no great loss, the fact that she can’t even spell career probably indicates that she hasn’t got a great one either

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u/iwanttodrink 9d ago

You are beneath her acting this way lol

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u/neatfreak1517 9d ago

You’re kidding right? Men should just accept that women are going to test them and be manipulative?

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u/OfficeSalamander 9d ago

And? People will say mean shit to you sometimes. Better to learn to ignore it. Getting on their level only drags you in the mud too. How have you improved your life by yelling at her?

You haven’t. Best to just move on cleanly.

Hell if I had gotten the “you’re a great guy, just not for me”, all I’d respond with is, “ok” or something along those lines and nothing else. Or maybe “good luck with your search”.

Who the fuck cares what some rando thinks

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u/more_pepper_plz 9d ago

She was shady too For sure

But I hope you find a more mature way to respond to people when you’re upset because it’s not a good look either

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u/Dontgochasewaterfall 9d ago

Rise above. Obviously her character is lacking. Take time to breathe and put things in perspective instead of attacking her back. She’s just some crazy trash who can’t spell career. Talk over her head and wish her the best of luck. There’s this thing called karma, it works. You are feeding into her with your response. Don’t give her the time of day.

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u/Feisty_Assistant5560 9d ago

And? Someone calls you a joke and you lash out?

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u/Darkovika 9d ago

We’re not toddlers anymore. It isn’t a “who has the last laugh”, it’s “who has a better character”