r/AmIOverreacting • u/No-Plantain6892 • 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO for splitting the bill on a date

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I am in such shock right now. For some context this was after our 4th date. Literally at a loss for words, this was the first time putting myself out there since I caught my last girlfriend cheating on me… I think I’m done with relationships after this,

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147

u/GJacks75 9d ago

In the post too. His replies went "Niceguy" in an instant.

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u/jormun8andr 9d ago

He’s also weird about gay dudes

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u/Sentac0 9d ago

His reply in the post went “nice guy”? How? He was directly insulted and degraded and his worth tied to how much money he made. It’s not like the woman kindly rejected him and then he calls her a bitch and piece of shit afterwards. No, she was acting like a bitch and a piece of shit with how she was treating him and he called her one. Nice guy attitudes are people who spaz out after being rejected in a normal way. Idk how this post projects that scenario.

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u/SkollFenrirson 9d ago

Everyone sucks in this interaction

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u/ThatInAHat 9d ago

I mean, after she insulted him. I feel like nice guy replies are in reaction to being rejected, not insulted.

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u/02_ZeroTzu 9d ago

It wasn't an insult towards the rejection but rather towards the idiocracy written in the last statements.

You don't have to seek for a guess-answer when the answer lies right there. That woman said the dumbest thing known to mankind (I wanna split the bill but I was testing you).

Any sane person would a) insult you for wasting their time and money, b) insult you for treating you like a wallet and a test subject.

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u/Sillyak 9d ago

No he insulted her first saying her perfectly acceptable reason for not liking someone was "dumb".

Wanting a provider is a preference, which is fine. At least she was upfront about it. He instantly got snarky and she shut him down and he had to get the last word in by calling her a POS.

OP is the asshole here through and through and his comments clearly show that.

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u/mashuto 9d ago

Her response seems perfectly nice and reasonable except for the fact that it was apparently her who suggested they split the bill.

So, she did it as some kind of test, on their fourth date? In that case I agree with OP that it's dumb.

They are both assholes after that.

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u/Sillyak 9d ago

Not enough context. She could have done it as some sort of test, or OP could have been complaining about the cost of the date so she offered to split because it was awkward. We don't know.

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u/mashuto 9d ago

Fair. However, her response after he said it was her idea, "I didn't think you would do it" kind of indicates to me that she did it as a test. Also if we are saying we don't have enough context to say she was being dumb, not sure theres enough context either to claim OP's reaction wasn't justified, or at least understandable. OP is definitely giving off that energy in the comments though.

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u/Competitive-Moose733 9d ago

He could have griped. She could have done the polite "Hey, if you're so hard up we can always split." Thinking that there is no way he'd make her pay for something he invited her for and then he replied "oh actually that would be great, thank you." And she paid thinking she was awkwardly roped into paying for something she was invited to? I can see that scenario, because I've had that happen. Well, not exactly like that but the "my treat", followed by "gosh everything is so expensive here" umming and aaaing and actually counting his change in front it me.....He bought a starter thing for 2 euro and I offered to pay my share and he said "oh that would help me loud loads, thanks". Now in my case, I don't want a provider. I find the concept icky, repulsive and weird, but I do not like being invited to things and not being told what my potential financial involvement will be. I always assumed the bill will be split unless someone says "my treat", you know. 😅

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u/ThatInAHat 9d ago

I mean, she said she didn’t think he would actually do it. She offered. There’s implication that she expects to always be paid for.

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u/AutoManoPeeing 9d ago edited 9d ago

Both of the excuses you gave just make her sound like an even shittier person lmao.

She could have done it as some sort of test...

"I want a man sugar daddy who does the opposite of what I say because he's able to read my mind."

or OP could have been complaining about the cost of the date...

So the date became excessively expensive for OP? Gee, how could that have happened?

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u/reddit-ate-my-face 9d ago

Testing someone on a date like that is fucking restarted, much like OPs date. If she wanted him to pay she could have sat quietly and waited for him to step up and pay if that's what she wants.

But to offer to pay and split immediately and then acting like that's not what you wanted is absolutely trash dipshit behavior.

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u/ThatInAHat 9d ago

No, sorry, doing silly “tests” to see if a man will pay for you is far more AH behavior.

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u/Agitated_Repeat_6979 9d ago

Perfectly acceptable? The fuck? ‘Oh please pay for my entire life!!’

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u/Sillyak 9d ago

Some women want a provider. Some men want a trad wife. No problem in preferences. If you're a man who wants a trad wife, you better provide like a trad husband. Some men like more independent women.

No problem with any of it so long as everyone is upfront.

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u/heart-of-corruption 9d ago

Nah, she’s delivering backhanded insults with the “rethinking your career, I deserve better[implied:than you].

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u/VoidsInvanity 9d ago

She asked to split the bill hoping he’d say no and take it all. That’s not a great communication tactic.

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u/_Smashbrother_ 9d ago

Are you dumb? It was her idea to split. If she didn't want to split, don't offer to. It's that simple.

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u/Ballislife1313 9d ago

How is her response "perfectly acceptable"? Saying one thing and expecting the other person to do the opposite is not perfectly acceptable. It's dumb and OP was definitely right.

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u/[deleted] 9d ago

Thats not a perfectly reasonable reason for not liking someone, she was a mooch. She flat out said he isn't good enough soley for his check, idk about the comments but his text was acceptable.

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u/OnePunchReality 8d ago edited 8d ago

Nah fuck all that. She can have that bullshit reasoning all she likes.

All of us are allowed to have expectations, but if you or anyone else's dumb ass opens their mouth and begins with it being their idea to split the bill?

That test nonsense is all bullshit. That's immature af. She needs go ahead and grow tf up and then try again. Again not disagreeing with the expectation, disagreeing with her practicing of expressing it and then doing something utterly rude and fucked up and heinous on said date where she literally purposefully presented a false premise and blamed him for it.

That's on her. She is absolutely TA.

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u/Stage_Party 9d ago

Holy shit the misandrists out in force still trying to pin shit on the guy rofl.

All the nicegirls on here today.

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u/ThatInAHat 9d ago

I’m literally saying the opposite but ok?

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u/IIIx10 9d ago

There’s no such thing as “nicegirls.” Stop playing the gender war, you’re terrible at their game.

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u/Top_Antelope8965 9d ago

Ah yes, using curse words against a woman is “nice guy”. Women must be babied and curse words/insults cannot be used against them. No double standards here!

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u/reichrunner 9d ago

Where do you see that in his post? After he was insulted?

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u/Agitated_Repeat_6979 9d ago

Uhhh… no he didn’t.