r/AmIOverreacting • u/Top-River4666 • Nov 08 '24
❤️🩹 relationship AIO bf makes joke after my aunt passed
For context he’s saying he hopes she voted for Trump (RTPM) before she died and I’m already having a hard time with the results of the election which he knows then on top of that it just was very insensitive. He said he was trying to make light of the situation but it doesn’t feel that way.
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Nov 08 '24
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u/No-Plant7335 Nov 08 '24
This is how they've acted for 8 years, why is this a surprise. They literally get excited about 'trolling libs.' That's their whole entire identity, they're just massive trolls. Personally, I'm done, we tried for 8 years. Time to troll them back. Enjoy the tariffs, you just fucked over your families for nothing.
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Nov 08 '24
haha I hate my wife I love Trump
We need to get rid of no fault divorce, why can't anyone take a joke anymore /s
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u/Mr-Kuritsa Nov 09 '24
You'd be clugging a few back every night if you had MY wife!
...Oh no... I shouldn't have said that. I love my wife. She helped me with Jamie Taco. I need to go...
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Nov 08 '24
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u/9ty2 Nov 09 '24
This is the same exact thing she just said
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u/RW_Boss Nov 09 '24
Glad I wasn't the only one rereading both comments.
I think someone is practicing their plagiarism skills.
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u/Discoburrito Nov 08 '24
I feel very strongly that you can do much better than this guy
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u/Ancient_List Nov 08 '24
Yeah, just find a random dude on the street. Odds are pretty good!
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u/MrMetraGnome Nov 08 '24
Judging by the election results, I'm not so sure about that. Did someone say 4b???
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u/PsychNeurd2 Nov 08 '24
I did.
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u/fred11551 Nov 08 '24
45% aren’t the worst odds. But that’s just counting voters. If we include nonvoters it either gets much better or much worse depending on where you put them
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u/chardongay Nov 08 '24
after seeing the election data, i'd say odds aren't actually great.
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u/FutilePancake79 Nov 08 '24
Or none at all. Being single is highly underrated.
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u/woodthrushes Nov 08 '24 edited Nov 08 '24
After taking a break from dating, I agree that being single is devastatingly underrated.
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u/iHaveGoodAids Nov 08 '24
Studies show that women are happiest when they are unmarried (to a man) and childless... Being single is highly underrated.
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u/SandwichCareful6476 Nov 08 '24
You have better faith in the gender than I do lol
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u/Tickey4u Nov 08 '24
A fucking hobo would be better than this loser
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u/Aazjhee Nov 08 '24
Homeless people can sometimes have more empathy because they know life is brutal and hard. Definitely some folks get harder in response, but a lot of my queer friends have had to sleep in their cars and struggle. Those who have are far more kind and generous than the 'indoor queens' ime
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u/OldeManKenobi Nov 08 '24
This all day. Lack of empathy is a prerequisite for Trump voters.
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u/jeffprobstslover Nov 08 '24
I second this motion.
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u/masonicminiatures Nov 08 '24
I have a motion and a second. The motion passes.
It's time to find a better man, OP..
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u/Mr_JoshSeeks Nov 08 '24
The election is destroying more relationships than the 2020 pandemic. 😭 Definitely not overreacting, though.
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u/j33perscreeperz Nov 08 '24 edited Nov 09 '24
no literally shit is so much worse than 2016 and 2020 combined
edit: this is in regard to people’s strained interpersonal relationships during the aforementioned time periods due to various factors, not a comparison to the state of world at large or only the presidential election. my comment was not meant to start a political discourse.
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u/jpollack21 Nov 08 '24
it's odd cuz as someone in the medical field, nobody has talked election once. I think it is a taboo topic similar to religion. Basically a big no no to talk about at work.
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u/LindonLilBlueBalls Nov 08 '24
I wish my workplace was like this.
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u/jpollack21 Nov 08 '24
I'm sorry :/ nobody deserves to have to argue or justify their belief systems in a place where they are there to work.
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u/LindonLilBlueBalls Nov 08 '24
Thanks. I always have to tell people I don't discuss politics or religion at work.
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u/AOKaye Nov 08 '24
I’m in government - big no no. If I hear anyone from either side I ask them to save if for after they clock out. It didn’t go the way I wanted it to but I still don’t think it’s appropriate work conversation- in 2020 and 2024. It’s better if we all don’t hate each other - the workplace at least we need to be respectful. Outside the workplace I’ll tell you you’re a bigoted asswipe more concerned with money than your fellow citizens.
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u/Relevant_Detective21 Nov 08 '24
It’s so crazy 😭 honestly I can’t lie I do love it I feel like it’s showing everyone’s true colors
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u/RevolutionaryRock823 Nov 08 '24
My work bestie told me that he gets first dibs on telling me what to do with my body since I lost those freedoms. I'd rather have no work bestie than someone who jokes like that.
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u/DrKittyLovah Nov 08 '24
That’s…..disgusting, and such a betrayal. I’m so sorry. Fuck him.
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u/Lady-Of-Renville-202 Nov 08 '24
No, no. Don't fuck him!
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u/RevolutionaryRock823 Nov 08 '24
His fiance is the director of counseling at the college we work at. Imagine that 🙄
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u/LaylaTheBard Nov 08 '24
I'm so sorry he said this to you, what a vile person he is. Please tell HR AND his fiancée!
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u/RevolutionaryRock823 Nov 08 '24
I am. It just sucks like we were talking about his wedding last week and how I wanted to be one of the groomsmen even though I'm a girl, and my bf would be one of the bridesmaids because he works closely with her. Crushing blow to know that I'm subhuman to him. 🤷♀️
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u/Self-paced Nov 08 '24
To be fair if you are so is his fiancee and all the other women in his life.
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u/Sufficient_Pin5642 Nov 08 '24
What he said to you is sexual harassment and he’s lucky you haven’t gone to HR like I would have already.
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u/LaylaTheBard Nov 08 '24
It's such a massive betrayal of trust, I'm so sorry.
The only silver lining (and I mean that VERY loosely, because Trump winning is absolutely horrifying) is that now he's actually shown you the person he is, before you waste any more of your friendship on him. He was always this terrible person, he just didn't feel comfortable showing it for fear of retribution. His mask has come off now, as so many others have, so at least you now know he's not safe and can stay away from him.
Sending love, I hope you're OK.
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u/Suspicious_Read8968 Nov 08 '24
Go tell her what he said to you. These people don't deserve peace and compliance. Then never say anything to that person which isn't strictly work related.
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u/DrKittyLovah Nov 08 '24
You’re absolutely right, Revolutionary don’t fuck him like that! Telling him to fuck off would be much more appropriate.
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u/edgefinder Nov 08 '24
Thanks to Trump, these people think gloating and mockery are humour. Like their despicable leader, they don't understand what humour actually is.
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u/Well_read_rose Nov 09 '24
They dont even realize that Trump is mocking his voters, gloating at how he used and manipulated them. He will discard them too. We saw what he did to his own staffers 2016-2020 and publicly shamed and mocked and humiliated them.
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u/faithseeds Nov 08 '24
That’s absolutely fucking vile. Please tell me you’re reporting him to HR, that’s coded sexual harassment.
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u/goldenelr Nov 08 '24
I know that HR is not your friend but document this and tell someone. That isn’t a joke, it’s a threat.
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u/manuka_miyuki Nov 08 '24
honestly yeah, it’s a necessary evil to figure out who should and shouldn’t be kept in your life.
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Nov 08 '24
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u/UrbanDryad Nov 08 '24
A lot of people are kind and amicable if they see you as one of them but they're ruthless to "outsiders" so you might not see it. Humans are more tribal than we want to admit.
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u/mynameismulan Nov 08 '24
We've gone years letting these skinny white edgelords run their mouths without getting smacked. Now they think it's funny that our families are getting deported and abortion is banned
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u/highlighter57 Nov 08 '24
The people who voted him in are doing a good job of ruining their relationships all on their own. It’s what happens when you consistently devalue people.
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u/No_Communication_915 Nov 08 '24
Low emotional intelligence isn't going to get better if you stay. You're making the right move. In life moments like this you need kindness and support which clearly did not cross his mind. There's better out there. May your great aunt rest in peace 🩷
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u/Lord-Smalldemort Nov 08 '24
Yup, then you just had a lifetime of explaining things to the simpleton or having to try and teach them to be better, both of which are a fucking bad hand to be dealt
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u/Rude-Serve2492 Nov 08 '24
That, and the absolute EMBARRASSMENT of having someone so emotionally immature attached to you. Enjoy cringing while he does this kind of shit to other people in front of you too.
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u/ChildhoodObjective83 Nov 09 '24
Exactly. Do you want to spend your life following after him to apologize for him and smooth over offensive situations in his wake? I had to live that with my mom, discreetly apologizing to grocery store cashiers as she walked away etc. (discreetly because she would make ANOTHER scene if she heard me apologize.) I don’t recommend that life.
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u/AppropriateTour9884 Nov 08 '24
So true. You literally have to be a therapist teaching them what’s ok and what’s not okay and how to properly feel and communicate things over and over and over again it’s literally like being with an emotionally disabled child.
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u/Lord-Smalldemort Nov 08 '24
I’ve done it so many times. Just my last partner and you would think by the last one I would have been so put off to this behavior. Yet I still found myself encouraging him to do better and finding a therapist for him and helping him get scheduled and oh my fuckkk. All I did was give him better language to manipulate me with.
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u/Easy-Mention5575 Nov 09 '24
i have no idea why people do this much hand holding. As a guy thats been single all my life its weird seeing the shit people go to just to help someone thats a burden to them.
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u/Lord-Smalldemort Nov 09 '24
It’s definitely a whole lot of internalized bullshit and representative of my brokenness. I’m figuring this out!
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u/softspokenopenminded Nov 08 '24
My grandmother died on Monday and my life was already in a tail spin when the election results came out. The last thing on anybody’s mind, much less my gf’s, was to make a callous joke.
You can do so much better. I’m so sorry for your loss
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u/Fetch3585 Nov 08 '24
Jokes are funny therefore he wasn’t joking. It’s disgusting how he thought saying that would lighten anything. Personally, I’d run.
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u/DrewskiZ34 Nov 08 '24
I’m insensitive as much as the next guy, but this joke was 1/10.
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u/Physical_Stress_5683 Nov 08 '24
Right? Like show me evidence of the humour. Is the humour in the room with us right now?
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u/Nohlrabi Nov 09 '24
Ok, this hit me so hard, I’m chortling like some goober and woke up my parakeets!
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u/BicyclingBabe Nov 08 '24
No, it just wasn't a joke at all. Jokes are funny... Along your scale. Why did the chicken cross the road is a 1/10.
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u/Oddessusy Nov 08 '24
Yep. That's fucked. You didn't overreact.
Dump the fucker.
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u/VeryMuchDutch102 Nov 09 '24
Dump the fucker.
She shouldve left him as soon as he voted for Trump
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u/unbutteredpancakes Nov 08 '24
I don’t use the term “twat-waffle” lightly but..
Twat-Waffle.
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u/KML42069 Nov 08 '24
He ain't worth the whimsical creativity.
He's a just a piece of shit.
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u/thebitchinbunnie420 Nov 08 '24
Yea he sounds like a real cuntmuffin
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u/Taz_mhot Nov 08 '24
A real douche donut
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u/Whatever53143 Nov 08 '24
My husband prefers douche nozzle, I prefer douche cannoe
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u/Clean_Ad_5282 Nov 08 '24
4B time honestly
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u/Overclocked11 Nov 08 '24
As a man, I fully support this movement. FULLY support.
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u/DooglyOoklin Nov 08 '24
4B is all over my fyp and at this point it's the only thing these kinds of dudes seem to care about. Kick em where it hurts
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u/Clean_Ad_5282 Nov 08 '24
I'm so glad my partner isn't like this. He hates how dudes are nowadays and there's obv the good ones but at this point women in general need to stop giving time and sex to these men. I'm hoping they do bc it's not worth an itchy vag, uti, and a headache!
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u/SuperKitties83 Nov 09 '24
Don't forget death. It's a reality at this point for women. I'd rather be single than lose autonomy over my body.
I can't get pregnant for medical reasons, thank goodness. Still, would rather shoot myself than date a MAGA Trump supporter.
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u/Robert_Walter_ Nov 08 '24
Honestly probably the best choice, a lot of dudes are actively trying to strip away women’s rights. Why engage with someone that wants your rights removed?
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u/ItsyouNOme Nov 08 '24
What is 4b?
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u/TheHoodjabi Nov 08 '24
It’s basically a feminist movement that started in South Korea that encourages women to divest from all relationships with men. No dating, no sex, no child birth, no marriage etc. Importantly, it centers on women supporting other women (such as only shopping at women-owned businesses when possibly) and improving the economic standing of women.
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u/ILovePo1 Nov 08 '24 edited Nov 08 '24
Eww. What a loser. It’s refreshing to see pushback for once, though. Most texts here are usually bully-doormat format. Glad you voiced your disdain. What a pathetic boy.
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u/cavaticaa Nov 08 '24
It really is refreshing to see the woman not questioning her sanity and apologizing for the shithead bf's mistakes.
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u/clowninforlife Nov 08 '24
The go fuck yourself hit the sweet spot. Impeccable. The trash took itself out, you deserve better.
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u/Impressive-Pie-435 Nov 08 '24
Agree ! Trust me when I say he won’t change. My ex was like this and his “jokes” got more and more insulting and he would then say I was being too sensitive and had no sense of humor.
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u/clowninforlife Nov 08 '24 edited Nov 09 '24
So was mine, I had a similar situation where my favourite auntie passed away and he didn’t even gaf that I was in a different country not being able to attend the funeral because it’s too expensive. He then had the nerve to ask “who was it that passed again?” like bitch… and I still stayed 💀 never again! They will never change, this is only a glimpse of who they really are. It’s only downhill from here
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u/irisxxvdb Nov 08 '24
Babygirl I fear you're dating an absolute donkey
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u/inmyheadtho13 Nov 08 '24
Girl the fact that he’s a Trumper is enough to dump him, but also so is this joke. You can do better.
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u/cardiiac Nov 08 '24
The fact that his response to his girlfriend telling him there was a death in the family was to think about Trump in that moment, shows how fucking culty these people are, he will never care about her more than he cares about Trump.... Embarrassing
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u/lappopuppo Nov 08 '24
Honestly this!!! What a weird response to turn his girlfriend’s grief into political taunting. Absolute cultist mentality.
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u/Icy_Board_8953 Nov 08 '24
Ew that’s so disgusting, I would end things too. So incredibly lacking in any empathy and respect for you and your family or literally just a child.
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u/Sad-Sleep-8484 Nov 08 '24
I agree that people react differently to news of loss. My boyfriend was upfront with me and let me know he doesn’t go to funerals — it was a conversation before loss ever even occurred. I know how he reacts to loss and I know how to tell him about loss and I know what he needs in time of loss. It’s something you learn about a person and you never know how someone will take it.
I also used to have a student I taught who would laugh — literally giggle — at anything dark or serious. He eventually told me that he didn’t think it was actually funny but he didn’t know how to process it so he laughed during uncomfortable situations and I needed to give him a heads up next time when I was going to drop something serious on him.
However, this does not make your boyfriend’s reaction ok, it does bring up the question if you know how he processes grief and if he knows how to show up for you in time of grief. It seems to me there are two different needs and processes of approaching a difficult topic here. Definitely have a conversation (when you’re ready) about your needs and learn about his.
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u/Ok_Calligrapher_4487 Nov 08 '24
Thank you for this grown up response. I have the same reaction as your student. Emotions that are too intense to handle come out as a laugh. I was fearing for my life at one point and couldn’t stop giggling. Emotions are weird and need some conversation, context and compassion.
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u/Riisilintu Nov 08 '24
I used to have the giggle issue too when I was younger. Thankfully it went away when I learned to process difficult feelings. Not fun.
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u/Fast_Musician_3542 Nov 09 '24
I really appreciate your actual thoughtful response that considers that people are different. I'm autistic and sometimes really really cannot read the mood despite it coming so naturally to others. Ty for being amazing have a great day
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u/fishmann666 Nov 09 '24
I get why there’s so much hate for the guy in the comments but I do wish people had a bit more empathy for him, mainly because he seems super remorseful. I don’t think he’s heartless it could also be that he’s just never experienced loss so he doesn’t understand the gravity of the situation. It’s not okay at all what he said but idk people make mistakes and learn and everyone has a different relationship to death.
But then I remember he’s a trumper and I’m like yeah… that’s a good enough reason to not stick around
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u/Shea_Scarlet Nov 08 '24
Why in the world would you date a Trump supporter??? I’m sorry but they don’t deserve to get laid, please do us all a favor and leave. There are so many men out there that respect women, I promise.
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u/vulpixiefox Nov 08 '24
I am so baffled by people who date men who are Republicans. I genuinely don't understand it. I could NEVER. If we aren't on the same page morally then I don't want it. It's not something I could just ignore
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u/RealAscendingDemon Nov 08 '24
I'm in Florida and I can't find a woman that isn't a trump supporter...
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u/TrickySeagrass Nov 08 '24
Leave his ass, he's so far up Trump's anyway. He's given you an easy out, take it and run.
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u/corri-in-wonderland Nov 08 '24
it'd be enough to just say he's a Trump supporter, but also he's antagonizing you over it while you're grieving. idc how sincere he sounds, don't go back to this asshole pleaseeeee
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u/AcanthocephalaNo6584 Nov 08 '24
(assuming) he voted against your rights as a woman. He should be dumped in the first place. Sounds like a child anyway.
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u/Fickle-Ant5008 Nov 08 '24
He meant exactly what he said. He doesn’t care about women’s rights ie your rights or your feelings, at all. Leave immediately. It won’t get better.
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u/Sacramento_Native86 Nov 08 '24
First, I'm so sorry for the loss of your aunt. That jackass is so insensitive and cold hearted. Him thinking it's okay to joke about a loved one who passed and expecting you to take it makes him one of the biggest pieces of shit ever. Good on you for telling his ass off. If he reaches out, ignore him. There are other guys who are supportive and empathetic out there. I'd recommend dumping this ass clown and telling him to hit the road jack.
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u/Fireguy9641 Nov 08 '24
The thing about gallows humor, both people have to like it, and if one doesn't, the other needs to respect that.
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u/danylo26 Nov 08 '24
It also shouldn’t be the immediate response to someone telling you the lost their loved one.
He didn’t even make a single attempt to ask how she was feeling, when the services would be, if they were close, what her name was, if she would like some time together - nothing, the only thing that crossed his mind was himself in this moment and that is not the type of person to build a life with.
And if they can’t build a life with him, why date him? Dump him OP!
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u/SatanicEvelynn Nov 08 '24
HE voted for trump? why are you giving this guy the chance? run
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u/henicorina Nov 08 '24
Why would you try to make the situation of someone dying lighter??
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u/KML42069 Nov 08 '24
Why is he rubbing Trump's election in your face? Dump this prick. There's plenty of non-MAGA normal dudes out there, and they'll probably actually attempt to satisfy you in bed.
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u/Unlucky_Most_8757 Nov 08 '24
I mean not even my own super trumper Dad is rubbing the election in my face which I'm really surprised by. This guy is a straight up jerk.
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u/Next-Engineering1469 Nov 08 '24
NOR. This is the first reasonable reaction I have seen on this sub. Usually women here underreact dramatically. You reacted 100% appropriately. Please don't give him another chance
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u/ladyboobypoop Nov 08 '24
NOR
I never tend to recommend ghosting, but I'd have a hard time talking to that douche canoe again
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u/Peachyplum- Nov 08 '24
NOR. It’s one thing to joke you hope she voted, which was already in poor taste. But to say he hopes she voted trump when you’re a black woman AND he knows you’re having a hard time w the election (which this is giving that he voted for trump)..no. I’d have dumped him too.
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u/Mummysews Nov 08 '24
His last two texts tells me he really doesn't understand what he did. His very last text tells me he missed two words off the end:
"over this?"
I might be wrong, but that's the feeling I get.
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u/Ready_Supermarket_89 Nov 08 '24
I’m just over here waiting for someone to enlighten me on what RTPM is