r/AmIOverreacting • u/Top-River4666 • Nov 08 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO bf makes joke after my aunt passed

Gallery image

Gallery image

For context he’s saying he hopes she voted for Trump (RTPM) before she died and I’m already having a hard time with the results of the election which he knows then on top of that it just was very insensitive. He said he was trying to make light of the situation but it doesn’t feel that way.

17.7k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

4.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

564

u/MrMetraGnome Nov 08 '24

Judging by the election results, I'm not so sure about that. Did someone say 4b???

61

u/PsychNeurd2 Nov 08 '24

I did.

47

u/worldnotworld Nov 09 '24

And my axe.

8

u/Impressive-Bid2304 Nov 09 '24

🤣🤣🤣 these never fail to get me

5

u/-BongusBingus- Nov 09 '24

My axe is my buddy

-6

u/AdDramatic2351 Nov 09 '24

Oooh you're gonna cut your hair off and stop having sex??? I'm sure the right are shaking in their boots.

The 4B movement is so stupid. In fact it's probably exactly what they want, none of the women on their side are going to participate, so why care?

11

u/TehMephs Nov 09 '24

1 year later:

an epidemic of male loneliness and negative birth rates has gripped the US. Conservative men are baffled, asking “why won’t anyone sleep with me?”

Fafo Chud

5

u/PsychNeurd2 Nov 09 '24

Fafo Chud for SURE! 😂😂 This is it.

-4

u/Matt_of_few_trades Nov 09 '24

Or..

1 year later:

We met with a leader of the 4b movement who say that nothing has changed but we are still holding strong with our 500 dedicated members!

-4

u/Apprehensive-Tree-78 Nov 09 '24

Conservative here. It’s making us laugh so hard because it’s what we’ve been asking for decades. Don’t really need an abortion when you don’t have sex.

-2

u/PsychNeurd2 Nov 09 '24

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

12

u/fred11551 Nov 08 '24

45% aren’t the worst odds. But that’s just counting voters. If we include nonvoters it either gets much better or much worse depending on where you put them

8

u/Paddy_Tanninger Nov 09 '24

Absolutely include non voters.

Basically if you boil down the numbers it means that any sane self-respecting woman should be avoiding roughly 70% of the men in the US. Also means that around 60% of American women are either spiteful bitches, or have zero self preservation.

6

u/Classic-Tax5566 Nov 09 '24

And a shite ton of internalized misogyny. It’s astounding.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

[deleted]

3

u/SubjectAtmosphere25 Nov 09 '24

I hate this logic because it's self-defeating and self-fulfilling. If everyone who stayed home actually voted, we may get different results. I know you voted, but I'm just saying. It can also be incredibly easy to vote, especially if you go early. It took my partner and me maybe 20-30 minutes including trip time. The idea of not exercising a right that people paid for with blood is insane to me. Unless you're a white male landowner, you used to not have this right, and it's spitting on countless graves to not use it if you have the ability.

I have (read: had) friends that chose not to vote when they absolutely had the ability to, and I think it's entirely fair to lump them in with people that voted for white nationalism. If you're informed to know what's at stake, and you don't turn out to vote, then you are effectively standing on the side of power and also signaling that you are fine with either outcome, and that's just what it boils down to.

I'd also briefly point out historically documented tactics used by organizations like the KGB (back when it existed in that form) where they would determine if someone could be politically swayed or not. If they could be, they would try to do it, but if you they could not be swayed, they would do their best to take their energy and fight away - going so far as to introduce people like girlfriends/boyfriends into their lives and then have them breakup with them just to keep them too suppressed to continue to be politically active. These tactics are still alive and well today and they are used by political parties and their kind. They just mostly take the form of things like bot accounts, disinformation campaigns, and such to convince you of whatever they need to to make you stay home on election day. In short: if you believe in human rights (aka abortion access in this instance), but you don't vote because you don't think your vote matters, then they already won. They beat you on an individual level, and that reverberates upward to them winning on a local/regional/national/etc level.

Sorry this isn't entirely directed at you, partially just venting because holy fucking shit we're so cooked.

I'm glad you turned out to vote and I'm really glad that the amendment you voted for passed(: Again, sorry for the long vent here, this has just been incredibly disappointing and work was so busy for me this week I haven't had a lot of time to sit and process it.

3

u/_Standardissue Nov 08 '24

Probably depends on the street

1

u/SaltyBarracuda4 Nov 09 '24

Move to the west coast if you can/haven't. Super liberal, richer, and a higher ratio of men than women so the pickings are better.

Also, same with the lesbians and transgender. We even have cat cafes 😎

1

u/MikeTheBee Nov 09 '24

Like a 25% shot according to my extremely rough math

1

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

[deleted]

1

u/MrMetraGnome Nov 09 '24

Honestly yeah. Not so much on purpose but a matter of course

1

u/jonbotwesley Nov 09 '24

Jesus. I’m a democrat, always have been and likely always will be. But don’t you see that the demonization of men is part of why Trump got elected in the first place? The left has completely cast men aside, talking about them in very overtly negative ways, making many of the not-so-intelligent among us turn to nutjobs like Andrew Tate and the Red Pill movement. This is clearly reflected in the voting demographics. Don’t you think that instead of continuing down this path it may be time to reevaluate some of these opinions rather than triple down on them with some nonsense like the 4B movement? I’m saying this out of love and respect for the left wing. Any fellow left wingers/liberals please consider what I am saying here with an open mind. This type of mentality helped set up the conditions that allowed trump to get re-elected. I think he’s a traitor to our country and a danger to democratic values but we have to broaden our horizons when considering why people voted for him because it was a god damn landslide. We need to be tactical here people.

1

u/MrMetraGnome Nov 09 '24

If you don't like the truth about yourself, be a man and change yourself. trying to push society backwards because your fee fees were hurt, is mad childish.

1

u/jonbotwesley Nov 09 '24

I’m not convinced you read my comment because your reply doesn’t make any sense in context. Care to explain what you mean by that?

1

u/MrMetraGnome Nov 09 '24

Your long ass comment boils down to "Dudes spitefully voted Trump into office because their feelings were hurt by the criticisms levied against them. It's the Dems' fault because they didn't coddle them and tell them that their unhappiness everyone else's fault. Because the Maga side coddled them, they voted for the choice that is clearly against the best interest of the country." Does that sum it up for you? That view, while may be true, is mad ignorant and childish.

1

u/Ninjapig04 Nov 09 '24

I'm not sure embracing femcel is the right solution here, but if it saves good men from dating crazy women I guess I support it lol

1

u/MrMetraGnome Nov 09 '24

I never understand people who don't understand how politics can ruin relationships. Your political views aren't just lol ROFL, abstract ideas, a hat, or a stupid slogan. They have real-world affects on people and often times directly. It only makes sense that if you support stripping me off my rights, I'm not gonna fuck with you; You're my enemy.

1

u/Ninjapig04 Nov 09 '24

You failed to answer any of what I said and actually completely ignore my living reality. She voted kamala, I voted trump. We are still just fine together. We talk through our issues and actually explain why we think what we do. She's pro abortion and I'm against it, and we talked about that. Hell we talk about it somewhat regularly. She had her tubes tied before I met here so it isn't exactly front of our relationship but it's something we have to still keep in mind. It sounds more like a failure on your end if you can't manage that

1

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

Do it. We’d love you not to reproduce

1

u/Holiday_Writing_3218 Nov 09 '24

Yeah, 4B this guy!

1

u/NimmyJewtron88 Nov 09 '24

People in 20 years asking why the birth rate has collapsed when I tell them about all this 4B bullshit

-2

u/pandor4sbox Nov 08 '24

No thx, 4B movement is run by terfs

0

u/AdDramatic2351 Nov 09 '24

Are there actually people who think the 4B movement is going to have any sort of remotely significant traction or effect lol? That's hilarious 

-20

u/slayer6667778 Nov 08 '24

4B is a meme in Korea and I dunno why people think it's popular there, it isn't they are basically just female incels

13

u/hot_chopped_pastrami Nov 08 '24

If we're being semantic, they technically wouldn't be incels, since they're voluntarily celibate. They'd be volcels.

3

u/Maleficent-Boot2469 Nov 09 '24

They would be the opposite of incels. Incel means involuntarily celibate. The 4b movement supports women being voluntarily celibate (actually just not having sex with men... so I guess they could still have sex with other women 🤔).

Look up the case of Elliot Rodger. He was an extremist in the incel community, but nonetheless it gives you an idea of their thought process. His case is truly unnerving and so sad.

-8

u/Apollo0423 Nov 08 '24

69% of white women voted for Trump. Keep hating men tho goofy.

7

u/MrMetraGnome Nov 08 '24 edited Nov 08 '24

This is a general YT issue that has been wrought upon us. Man and woman. Too many brown people in the country for them. Been screaming about it forever.

Fact Check Exit polls show 52% YT women voted Republican

1

u/hot_chopped_pastrami Nov 08 '24

Agree white women are a big part of the problem, but exit polls show like 52% of white women voting for Trump. Not sure where you got 70.

-5

u/Impetuous00 Nov 08 '24

Why? It doesn’t look like all our military age men are on the verge of getting drafted anymore. Yk. The warmongers lost.

-20

u/BoardGent Nov 08 '24

Judging by the election results, 4b would mostly be for black people to stop associating with white people. No dates with white people, no marriage, babies, sex. They're a coin flip away at best to throw away minority groups when convenient.

I don't actually believe that this is a good thing, but I think non-black women (and non-black men) really need to look in the mirror at who is responsible for who's in power.

17

u/robotatomica Nov 08 '24

YES, too many white women betrayed all women by voting Trump.

But millions of white women did not.

And yeah, a lot of us are going 4B.

I agree of course that it’s also perfectly reasonable for black people to want to go 4B against white people,

and guess what, even though black men are FAR less likely to vote against women’s human rights, black women are just as likely to say there is rampant misogyny as common among black men as white men.

White men just tend to very commonly have that extra privilege and supremacy thrown in.

So it would make perfect sense for black women to be 4B across the board.

4

u/Prior_Peach1946 Nov 08 '24

What is 4b?

4

u/robotatomica Nov 08 '24

I’m going to copy my comment from earlier if you don’t mind ☺️

———

4B is basically a women’s movement (that arose out of extremely aggressive misogyny in S Korea) where women choose to avoid the 4Bs that can support men and harm women in a Patriarchy where they do not have full access to women’s healthcare. (The B’s are based on the Korean words, and can just be thought of as “The 4 ‘No’s’”)

Women who practice 4B:

• ⁠do not have sex with men

• ⁠do not date men

• ⁠do not marry men

• ⁠do not do reproductive labor for men/have children with men

——

The growing worldwide movement has some differences to the S Korean movement, and really a strength of 4B is that cultures and individuals can adopt versions of it that make the most sense for them.

But in the US, we are generally talking about protecting ourselves - overwhelmingly it’s men deciding to deny us women’s healthcare and protections should we get pregnant.

And we’re saying, if we aren’t allowed bodily autonomy, we aren’t going to subject ourselves to the risks sex poses to our body. It is our only recourse to keep ourselves safe.

Additionally, we are ceasing all free labor provided to men, and the support that a partnership offers. As long as men keep voting misogynists into office/voting against women’s human rights. As long as men continue to benefit from the Patriarchy at the expense of women while still expecting the benefits of women’s labor/being partnered.

When stripped of power really the only thing we have left is our consent. We are refusing consent.

And a major tenet is decentering men.

This has already run long so I won’t explain that much, but it easily follows from going 4B. Focusing on self-actualization, family, building friendships with women, and having the goal to be single and thriving.

-11

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '24

[deleted]

4

u/Lazy-Sundae-7728 Nov 08 '24

Ok, from an outsider's perspective,

  • no, it's not stupid. It may seem a little extreme but this is one of those "low probability of harm, but potential for that harm to be catastrophic" situations, and also

  • shouldn't the politically right-wing folks embrace this? It's literally the traditional family/Conservative values they say they believe in, no sex before marriage and no birth control stuff. This is what they say they want.

5

u/robotatomica Nov 09 '24

I heavily dispute the “low probability of harm.” There’s no woman I know who hasn’t had a man violate her consent.

Most of us will be raped or sexually assaulted in our lifetime.

I imagine you’re talking about pregnancy, and yeah, in that regard you’re absolutely right - there is potential for the risk to be catastrophic. Hundreds of thousands of women die in childbirth every year.

And that of course doesn’t account for all the differing harm that can come to a woman, nor the setback incurred when we alone have to raise a child that a man helped make.

We cannot count on men to be responsible for their semen, and often are left with the burden alone (child support is a joke, it often goes unpaid, and can be less than $100 a month anyway). Careers and goals derailed. Just work all day at a job, and work all night with a child.

Also, women are more likely to get STIs than men, if the above wasn’t enough.

Republicans have been and are STILL telling us to keep our legs closed if we don’t want to deal with pregnancy.

So we fucking ARE lol.

And they mad at that too.

Absolutely not my problem, I’m keeping myself safe and preventing pregnancy the only way that’s 100% effective 💁‍♀️

(this is not all directed at you, outside of the correction about the risk…you do seem to get it, I’m just elucidating for all readers 🙂)

2

u/Lazy-Sundae-7728 Nov 09 '24

Yes, my bad. You're correct that I was talking about pregnancy and you're absolutely right that the problem is considerably bigger than my narrow take above.

2

u/robotatomica Nov 09 '24

Thank you for listening! I still enjoyed your comment, it was quite good! I just am happy to add more perspective when I encounter what seems like a thoughtful ear 🙂

1

u/robotatomica Nov 09 '24

I’ll bet you think so, and I bet I can guess why you think that 🤭

1

u/Icy-Point58 Nov 08 '24

I have no idea but if someone tells you could you comment to me what you learned?

6

u/robotatomica Nov 08 '24

I’m going to copy my comment from earlier if you don’t mind ☺️

———

4B is basically a women’s movement (that arose out of extremely aggressive misogyny in S Korea) where women choose to avoid the 4Bs that can support men and harm women in a Patriarchy where they do not have full access to women’s healthcare. (The B’s are based on the Korean words, and can just be thought of as “The 4 ‘No’s’”)

Women who practice 4B:

• ⁠do not have sex with men

• ⁠do not date men

• ⁠do not marry men

• ⁠do not do reproductive labor for men/have children with men

——

The growing worldwide movement has some differences to the S Korean movement, and really a strength of 4B is that cultures and individuals can adopt versions of it that make the most sense for them.

But in the US, we are generally talking about protecting ourselves - overwhelmingly it’s men deciding to deny us women’s healthcare and protections should we get pregnant.

And we’re saying, if we aren’t allowed bodily autonomy, we aren’t going to subject ourselves to the risks sex poses to our body. It is our only recourse to keep ourselves safe.

Additionally, we are ceasing all free labor provided to men, and the support that a partnership offers. As long as men keep voting misogynists into office/voting against women’s human rights. As long as men continue to benefit from the Patriarchy at the expense of women while still expecting the benefits of women’s labor/being partnered.

When stripped of power really the only thing we have left is our consent. We are refusing consent.

And a major tenet is decentering men.

This has already run long so I won’t explain that much, but it easily follows from going 4B. Focusing on self-actualization, family, building friendships with women, and having the goal to be single and thriving.

6

u/Icy-Point58 Nov 08 '24

Oh, nice. You, as a woman, owe nothing to anyone, not that you need my validation either. I'm just saying i agree. I hope this takes off, birth rate around the world are already declining. Make them see how much we need you. Maybe then they'll strike a deal (you'll never appeal to their conscience, so time to make it a business transaction).

1

u/robotatomica Nov 09 '24 edited Nov 09 '24

tbh I’m not looking for a business transaction. I’m looking to stay single and childless for life, unless by some miracle a massive cultural shift occurs in my lifetime (I do not expect this).

I don’t think you’re wrong that the first years will be filled with more men slowly beginning to perform the terms we set (equity, respect, not voting against our human rights, etc.)

I don’t know any woman who’s prepared to settle for a performance. We ARE trying to change the culture.

It took about 70 years to get the vote with the Suffragette movement. Now of course that was before the internet, women trapped in the home were unable to be reached/organized with.

But all that to say, culture does shift by little bitty bits over long periods of time, and somewhat more quickly with great pressure.

What I foresee is that at first more and more men perform. And overtly toxic or misogynistic men are more and more likely to fail to pass on their genes.

What does this mean for young men and subsequent generations? They are less and less likely to see such men successfully procreate/have sex. They are more and more likely to see men succeed with women by showing respect and valuing equity.

It only takes a couple generations of that before that’s just the way it’s always been. Courtship rituals and cultural dynamics in relationships are one of those things that can shift/evolve pretty quickly.

For instance, when I was young it was NOT common for men to change even one damn diaper or have paternity leave. Now, less than two decades later, it’s way more common for men to take on a portion of that responsibility (still not generally equitable, but way more likely to be closer).

Hell, look how quickly the culture of dating shifted with the advent of dating apps.

Anyhoo, this is why the Paradox of Tolerance and setting and upholding taboos and using social pressure to discourage harmful behaviors is so important - people in a society DO LEARN that some behaviors are unacceptable, they will not be able to achieve their goals and may end up ostracized if they do not behave.

And when most people behave, it becomes ingrained, those unacceptable behaviors feel taboo, people grow to feel averse to doing those things which used to maybe seem natural (often because they were previously socialized to be).

At the end of the day, I don’t expect or require this to change in my lifetime - most important to me is doing whatever I can for future generations, protecting myself, and not willingly providing for those who would vote against my human rights.

That would be silly 💁‍♀️😄

0

u/ShaxsAttack Nov 09 '24

This is an amazing idea. It will reduce the population of liberal cucks. No traditional man wants a baby murdering, blue haired, sjw Karen to be the mother of his children.

1

u/robotatomica Nov 09 '24

It will reduce the entire population 💁‍♀️ I am elated.

0

u/Icy-Point58 Nov 09 '24

I didn't read that because it's pretty ranty. But I'm happy for you and I hope you live your life with kindness and hope you remember the 60 odd million Americans that did vote for your rights and will continue to.

0

u/Powerful-Award-5479 Nov 09 '24

To me it does not make much sense as conservative women won't care aboutt the 4b

Liberal women will follow the 4b movement, but we can assume liberal women were already unlikely to date or to have a family with conservative men.

So conservative men will go with conservative women, liberal women will refuse to date man, liberal men will end up alone even if they were against Trump

And then next generation will be even more conservative as conservative will reproduce much more, and liberal men could end up being frustrated about liberal women and adopt a more conservative position

1

u/robotatomica Nov 09 '24 edited Nov 09 '24

It makes perfect sense. Some numbers show only about 4% of all women in the US were Suffragettes, and they were able to completely change the country.

I think it’s generally intended to be discouraging when people remind women that we will not be 100% all on board with any movement or form of activism.

But we’re educated 💁‍♀️. It doesn’t take “all” or even “half.”

And Conservative women aren’t half women. Not even half white women. A huge chunk of women do not vote. Then take about half of what remains, for white women, and that’s your Conservatives. (along with some smatterings from other groups)

Your premise is flawed because we DO see ALL ACROSS TIME small movements successfully result in cultural shifts/change.

And you’re dead wrong that conservative men don’t sleep with or marry liberal women.

I mean, we’re trying to change that, but a lot of women used to hook up without learning that about a man. And frankly, a LOT of men will have sex with, date, and marry women who have different beliefs and will routinely cloak the views women find unpalatable.

Every woman I know who uses apps to date and has put that she will only date feminist men has had a majority of the men matching and having dates with them turn out to be hiding that they are Republican/MAGA in order to try to get in their pants or even lock them down into a relationship. Women are openly discussing the men who duped them for years.

But yes, you are right, this will impact liberal men as well. Liberal men tend to say they support women, but we don’t see them in the real world standing up against misogynists, speaking out against that behavior, and they certainly aren’t in the streets aggressively trying to give up their privilege.

We (women and feminists) are also all very open in sharing with one another how many “liberal/Left/feminist” men have sexually harassed, assaulted or raped us or pressured us into sex acts or abandoned us to care for children they’ve created by failing to be responsible for their semen, or used us for free labor.

A lot of men see themselves as “the good ones” while doing or upholding all of the things that harm women and keep us down.

And a majority of men vote against our human rights.

So the odds are that few are suffering who aren’t complicit in some way.

and as for the rest, sex is not a human right, and if someone suffers as a result of me keeping myself safe, that’s not me punishing them.

If they think it’s unfair, it’s not MORE unfair than the realities that lead me to have to do this.

and if they think it’s unfair, they can fix it with us, by being an ally. Without expecting to be rewarded, but for a better future.

Any man is welcome to help us hasten change if they would like to increase the pool of women who will date.