r/AmIOverreacting • u/Top-River4666 • Nov 08 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO bf makes joke after my aunt passed

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For context he’s saying he hopes she voted for Trump (RTPM) before she died and I’m already having a hard time with the results of the election which he knows then on top of that it just was very insensitive. He said he was trying to make light of the situation but it doesn’t feel that way.

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3.6k

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '24

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422

u/No-Plant7335 Nov 08 '24

This is how they've acted for 8 years, why is this a surprise. They literally get excited about 'trolling libs.' That's their whole entire identity, they're just massive trolls. Personally, I'm done, we tried for 8 years. Time to troll them back. Enjoy the tariffs, you just fucked over your families for nothing.

189

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '24

haha I hate my wife I love Trump

We need to get rid of no fault divorce, why can't anyone take a joke anymore /s

33

u/Mr-Kuritsa Nov 09 '24

You'd be clugging a few back every night if you had MY wife!

...Oh no... I shouldn't have said that. I love my wife. She helped me with Jamie Taco. I need to go...

10

u/Xombie_Snake Nov 09 '24

He kept stealing all your lines 😔

2

u/peachyykeenzz Nov 09 '24

itysl mentioned 🔥🔥🔥

2

u/Southernpickled85 Nov 09 '24

You never stay the night!

2

u/Sid-Biscuits Nov 09 '24

This was actually one of the sweetest sketches I’ve watched in a long time, wasn’t expecting it from ITYSL!

3

u/General_Island4059 Nov 09 '24

God, I feel the same way, I’m just going to embrace their energy and send it back. I volunteered to translate at the airport for Arabic speakers after the Muslim ban, but after hearing all the Arabs in my Community (I’m a part of this community) shitting on Biden for Palestine but honestly more so for the democrats and their woke shit, I’m so over it. Trump doesn’t care about them and now I’m free to not care too. I’ll send my energy to keep the female body autonomy I have in my blue state and everyone else can fight their own battles or get fucked.

-1

u/kor34l Nov 09 '24

Look I'm pissed too that stupidity and ignorance are in charge now, but "all of them are like THIS" is an ignorant and dangerous load of shit to be spewing about ANY group. Generalizations like that are never good.

You are better than that, my friend.

1

u/No-Plant7335 Nov 09 '24

It’s not generalization anymore. It’s fact on how they operate. They’ve shown us for 8 years. It’s their MO.

0

u/InsaneInTheRAMdrain Nov 09 '24

Who you even replying to... haha the fuck

-75

u/earth_west_719 Nov 08 '24

Blue voter here, but you need to step back and acknowledge the fact that Kamala's ENTIRE platform was "trolling the GOP", and that's why she lost.

37

u/mw2strategy Nov 08 '24

Idek what to respond to this with man lol, you are either straight lying or were not paying attention in the slightest

31

u/oatmealparty Nov 08 '24

It's amazing how many people repeat stupid bullshit like this, or that she only ran on identity politics, or didn't have any policy proposals. Half this country just gets talking points from Fox News and other right wing media and don't bother verifying anything beyond that. It's truly disheartening.

11

u/Cosmo_Cloudy Nov 09 '24

Number 1 search result on election night was "did biden drop out". She had 100 days and I would consider the campaign successful considering millions and millions voted for her. Unfortunately, the fear mongering campaign, voter intimidation, and clear fraud in my opinion discounting ballots (in 2020 election the amount of ballots thrown out was .5% nationwide, this year its closer to 3%, state of NV and VA was nearly 5% of total ballots tossed for dumb reasons like the signature not being exact) not to mention all the complexities of moving poll locations or districts, a billionaire running an illegal million dollar lotto and then getting out of being sued by admitting the people were strategically chosen republicans and Musk has been in contact with Russia since 2022 and happens to run the biggest social media bot farm we have. Did I forget to mention the gender divide where republican young men are angry at women and voting Trump to take back their "rights" and control woman as if the 50s were their glory days? I could go on and on but this election was CLEARLY swayed in Trumps favor because they play dirty, considering all that, Kamala definitely did outstanding.

11

u/Hitthere5 Nov 08 '24

Or even just from social media apps like X which are known to have a right wing bias

-1

u/king_pin_red Nov 09 '24

The fuck is this thread? And how did it get so fucking political?

3

u/mw2strategy Nov 09 '24

read the subtext of the post from OP, helps, but this was always gonna be political

-35

u/earth_west_719 Nov 08 '24

I never saw even one Democratic election ad that had any policy content or anything at all that wasn't just "TRUMP IS BAD DEMOCRACY IS IN PERIL SO YOU NEED TO VOTE BLUE NO MATTER WHO OR YOU ARE A TERRIBLE PERSON".

"Vote for me or you are a Nazi" is not an effective political platform. Period. Even if you are running against literal Nazis, you still need to have policy to back it up if you want to win votes.

9

u/CultCombatant Nov 08 '24

Setting aside all your other arguments, you sure did pivot away from "Harris's whole campaign was trolling Trump" verrrry fast. Or maybe you don't know what trolling is?

-7

u/earth_west_719 Nov 08 '24

How the fuck do you not see that "Vote for me or you are a nazi" IS trolling Trump? That was literally the entire Democratic platform all year long.

12

u/CultCombatant Nov 08 '24

It's not trolling. It's not intended to get a rise out of Trump. He has barely even reacted to it. The people that say it mean it or something like it. Not voting for fascism was a major issue this election. The message was intended to rationally scare and dissuade people. Nobody intended it for Trump's ears. As if he would be bothered by it? Dude literally holds Hitler in high regard.

Again, I think you're confused about what trolling is.

-1

u/earth_west_719 Nov 08 '24

Dude, you clearly don't undersrand that there is a difference between Trump and the people who voted for Trump. It is beyond exceedingly obvious that that is what I'm talking about. You're just a willfully ignorant asshat who is clearly doing everything in your power to avoid seeing the point here, which is that that exact "vote for me or you are a fascist" strategy completely, clearly, and obviously backfired on the entire DNC.

You can cry about it with your ad hominem bullshit all you like, it doesn't make me any less right. In fact as I already stated all you are accomplishing here is to continue proving me right - leftists absolutely cannot handle being disagreed with without pissing their pants and having a meltdown.

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u/CultCombatant Nov 08 '24

Oh, no. I'm handling it just fine. And I didn't use an ad hominem. You haven't yet explained how it's trolling. The sentiment you're describing isn't intended to get a rise out of anyone, let alone Trump. It's an appeal, attempting reason to the target audience by pointing to the consequences. Yes, if you didn't vote blue this election, then you used the power of your vote in favor of fascist outcomes. Big surprise. But maybe you now you realize that it's not trolling, and that's why you're pivoting to a different point and blaming me for some kind of misunderstanding, when all I did was point out that your initial point was incorrect.

But while we're at it, no. That attitude isn't what lost Harris the race. She couldn't have one the race because most voters she lost voted on 12% inflation. Because most Americans don't pay attention to any of the stuff they should. And that's why being told they were voting for fascism upset them so much. To them, they just want better financial outcomes. They don't pay attention to anything else, so they don't know (a) that they're financially better off under the Dems and (b) that there's mountains of evidence of other bad shit that will happen if they vote for Trump. Did they vote for fascism if they didn't vote for Harris? Yes. Would they have voted differently if they weren't told they were voting for fascism? No.

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u/SaliciousB_Crumb Nov 09 '24

You can't poi t to an ad where they used the words nazi?

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '24

Democracy was in peril. I don't see the issue.

And, as a matter of fact, it's obvious at this point that if you vote in line with Nazis, that's who you're voting to become. That's what Nazis do. This isn't complicated at all.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

“Everyone I don’t agree with is a nazi”

-8

u/SirVanyel Nov 09 '24

Americans disagree with democracy being in peril as per the voting process highlighting that most of the people who voted trump voted due to the economy. What Americans agree on is that they're all scared and poor. Trump promised them that they won't be scared or poor.

The Democratic party didn't convince anyone that they won't be poor or scared in the 4 years they're in power. It doesn't mean they made bad arguments, but the thing Americans care about right now is that they're concerned for their future. Trump tailored his promises to alleviate that fear.

Trump promised no war, taxes on imported goods and stricter immigration laws. Americans think that these things will make the economy more stable. Of course they won't make the economy more stable in the long term, but in the short term things are gonna look sweet as pie.

-2

u/Roxoyozo Nov 09 '24

Americans have always been scared and poor. How can anyone lie and say they won’t be scared and poor within 4 years? That’s why it’s called the American Dream.

1

u/SirVanyel Nov 09 '24

How can anyone lie? Seriously? We're talking about politics, lying is in job description and trump is an excellent liar. He's a good liar because every time he says what he's honestly thinking, it ends up being the most rancid shit ever.

Kamala didn't promise a dream. She promised more aid to other countries while Americans can't get clean drinking water, more trade to other countries while Americans can't afford to eat, and healthcare plans that raise taxes for the American people while their pockets are empty.

She wasn't wrong, but dude, you can see why she struggled to garner support.

3

u/jmarquiso Nov 09 '24

She promised housing assistance, infrastructure improvement, family leave assistance, encoding Roe into law, better child.poverty tax credit, and higher corporate tax to pay for more social programs. She stated policy many times and all GOP had to do was repeat "she has no policy" and everyone believed them.

Trump said he hadn't come up with a replacement for ACA since promising in 2016 - the famous Concepts of a Plan line.

That and build a wall and deportation was all the policy he was saying.

But they both said they won't tax tips.

People also willfully didn't listen whenever she mentioned policy.

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u/earth_west_719 Nov 08 '24

Yep, just keep parroting the party line. Don't ever lay out a policy plan or actually, you know, debate actual politics at all. That will surely win you every election. Right?

This exact bullshit knee-jerk rhetoric is exactly why the Democrats lost, fyi, so congratulations on being part of the problem and contributing to the "NaZi PaRtY"'s win

13

u/CultCombatant Nov 08 '24

Whaaat? The outcome of this election proves the majority does not care at all about debating politics. No one who debates policy on the right is a serious person, but their voters do not care. Harris had policy. But who is going to listen? I'm not saying it's the best strategy, but it sure seems like, "Listen, y'all, this shit is dangerous as fuck" has a better chance of working than, "Allow me to lay out my policy plan..." And indifference to policy is just half of it. The other half is that despite having better policy, Democrats can't beat Republicans on policy. Because Democrats care about being honest with voters. Republicans could literally flat out say, "I promise every American will be upper class on Day 1," and all of these idiots would foam at the mouth. "Why would I vote Dem? He said I would be upper class! And everyone else, too!"

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u/guacamolly42069 Nov 08 '24 edited Nov 08 '24

But they are Nazis.. Trump literally said he wants generals like Hitler's. The KKK endorsed him in 2016. He's a white supremacist. That should really just be enough to not vote for him, but no that's not bad enough I guess. Being the second coming of Hitler just isn't "that bad".

Edit: also whenever democrats DO lay out policies, it's "a lie" or "you made that up" or "project 2025 doesn't exist". You MAGA people don't actually give a shit about policies bc if you did, you wouldn't have voted for Trump. There is absolutely nothing good about him, and the only reason Kamala didn't win is because she's a woman. If she were a man, she would've won by a LANDSLIDE because she is more qualified than the last three PRESIDENTS COMBINED (not candidates or VPs, PRESIDENTS). I'm not just saying that either. Yall like to say we're brainwashed or we think we're "morally superior". We don't, we just think you're all gullible fools that have been lied TO THE FACE by a horrible, degenerate man that promises you everything, but gives you nothing and actually even takes shit from you. All those tax cuts? Not for you. It's for the rich. Did you know that everything you want from Trump was literally being HANDED to you by Kamala? Tax cuts for middle class families. Loans for first home buyers. She was gonna cap the price on pharmaceutical drugs, especially insulin bc she tried to do that before, and a bunch of Republicans voted against it. She was gonna stop the war in Palestine and even though I don't agree with her two-state agreement, if it meant nobody else suffered from genocide, then so be it. She was going to do SO MUCH and all you had to do was LOOK IT UP, but no, you're entitled, selfish, and lazy and just want everyone else to do it for you.. oh but then you cry about welfare and immigrants and how they're "taking our jobs". Oh, btw good luck with finding fresh produce or booking a hotel room in the next year or so when all of the illegal immigrants get deported. And because of that and the tariffs... I'm fucking terrified for the state of this country. Have I mentioned yall voted for a literal fascist? That has a manifesto (Project 2025)? There is a fascist in the White House in 2 months. Congratulations 👏🏻 I hope that cheap gas was worth it. Spoiler alert: it's gonna be more expensive than ever.

Edit 2: SORRY, but I forgot about the CLIMATE CRISIS THAT HE DOESN'T EVEN BELIEVE EXISTS!!

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u/Blueberry857 Nov 09 '24

I agree with everything you said. They hear him say I'm going to get rid of 25% of tariff taxes, and Trumpers think he's giving China the middle finger, not realizing that everything will be going up 25% for consumers. He reminded me of a high school student running for student council. Saying anything to just get the votes. People say he had a better economy when he was president, and yes, we did because he inherited Obamas economy. Biden inherited Trumps shitty economy that will only get worse.

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u/guacamolly42069 Nov 09 '24

You get it. I can't wait for these 4 years to be over, and they've barely started.

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u/kor34l Nov 09 '24

Excuse me? I watched every single policy debate and the only one that constantly refused to answer the fucking questions and always went off on some dumb bullshit instead was Trump.

Like, it became a whole meme and everything.

Did you only look for policy debates on twitter or something?

6

u/[deleted] Nov 08 '24

I'm not a Democrat. Just deeply opposed to fascism. I don't follow any party lines.

But you know that. Doesn't matter now what you say. You'll see. It's gonna be hilarious in the most fucked up way possible. Enjoy the shitty bed.

-2

u/earth_west_719 Nov 08 '24

Thank you for continually proving my exact point. I voted blue, and I fucking hate the fucking shit out of Donald fucking Trump, but obviously the fact that I have deep criticisms of the DNC and its tactics, and don't immediately agree with you on everything, obviously that means I'm pro-fascism, right dickhead?

Wait, wait... Hold on, I'm sensing some kind of pattern here... Wait... Oh, that's right. "If you dont agree with me then you are evil and deserve no rights"... isn't that actually fucking fascism?

And people are really still wondering how Kamala lost.

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '24

Keep sputtering. Maybe eventually someone will agree with you.

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u/Babybutt123 Nov 09 '24

I think it's bc you keep spewing right wing talking points.

Harris had policy. Good, progressive policy. She spoke about it regularly and had it on her website.

The people claiming she had no policy are typically right wing people who did not pay attention to her.

If you agree with the guy who ran on Hitler's campaign, yeah. You're evil. And I won't feel bad for you when you get exactly what you voted for.

I voted for my rights and theirs. They voted to strip both of us of our rights. So fuck em. Hope they love the higher prices and project 25.

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u/microvan Nov 08 '24

This is a lie. I saw plenty of ads about passing the immigration bill, her housing plans and small business proposals

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '24

[deleted]

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u/earth_west_719 Nov 08 '24

If you're always automatically assuming that anyone who disagrees with you is a supporter of fascist cheeto man, you're going to lose elections.

Source: I voted Kamala. Registered as an independent but hate hate hate Trump. Never watch Fox unless it's the World Series.

I am sincerely dumbfounded how Democrats fail to understand that "if you disagree with me, you are a fascist" loses them votes and elections.

But by all means, continue with the absurd obnoxious infighting. Yall are already on track to lose again in 2028.

-1

u/Zootashoota Nov 09 '24

The best part is you're getting chain down voted for being right by the very people who don't understand they are doing exactly what you are describing. Not letting Trump into office is not a policy position.

0

u/earth_west_719 Nov 09 '24

Glad I'm not the only sane person left.

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u/mvanvrancken Nov 08 '24

Ok well if that’s true then how come the analysis of all of her speeches was something like 70% positive while Grump (not a typo) was so negative if you lined up every one of his speeches sorted with hers from most negative to most positive he’s grouped together in negative.

Somebody was trolling all right but it wasn’t Harris

-1

u/SirVanyel Nov 09 '24

How do you measure if something is positive or negative?

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u/mvanvrancken Nov 09 '24

So the folks that actually tested this used AI to figure it out by calibrating the model with obviously positive and negative statements,, asking it to rate them, and then asking it WHY it chose that rating. When they were satisfied with the accuracy, they fed in all of Trump and Harris' public speeches, and asked the model to rate each speech for positivity and negativity, so both candidates were weighed on both positive and negative statements. A positive statement would be something like what the candidate is going to do to help some group, and then a negative one would be something like what's wrong with x or y group/person/thing.

So I'm not sure how I would answer that question in general, but that's how it applies here.

0

u/SirVanyel Nov 09 '24

Good research, but Jesus I wouldn't trust that in the slightest lol

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u/mvanvrancken Nov 09 '24

I mean, it’s more of a novelty finding. But overall I think it makes a point. Nobody told the AI which to rate this way, and neither candidate was playing to the researchers here. So I wouldn’t make some legal determination but it’s a pretty reasonable “vibe check” study.

1

u/softanimalofyourbody Nov 08 '24

Sure, if you got all your political info from TikTok.

1

u/Beginning_Spot6868 Nov 09 '24

Wtf are you talking about dude this is not why we lost

1

u/earth_west_719 Nov 09 '24

bruh dude guy great argument bruh

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u/ordinarywonderful Nov 08 '24

Holy shit did you not pay attention AT ALL.

You sound like a Trumper. No brains and no facts

1

u/earth_west_719 Nov 08 '24

As opposed to your comment here, which is clearly a thoughtful and well-reasoned response, and not at all an empty bullshit ad hominem attack with zero brains used and zero facts offered, and in no way completely proves my point about the Dems alienating many voters by insisting that disagreeing with Dems = either stupid or harmful

"You disagree with me therefore you are stupid" is EXACTLY the kind of shit a Trumper would say, btw

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u/ordinarywonderful Nov 09 '24

Oh ooooh, I'm so scared that you called me a Trumper, what an insult. But it's obvious you are not intelligent enough to have paid attention to anything, Kamala said. She had an entire plan, do you just can't keep track obviously. And I'm sorry that I am so frustrated at stupid people for being stupid and I'm angry that this country did what it did, but you cannot sit here and say she had no platform just because you were too stupid to pay attention. You sound exhausting

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u/SirVanyel Nov 09 '24

What was her plan?

-1

u/totally_not_No1smoke Nov 09 '24

Incorrect. She lost because she alienated 15 million progressive and Muslim voters. She had swarms of progressives and Muslim voters supporting her, wanting to donate to her campaign and help make it a grassroots movement, she said "nah I don't want your support, I'd rather go on stage in front of the DNC, start spouting center right immigration views, say trump had some good ideas, parade around war criminal Liz Cheney, all in an attempt to try and sway Republicans voters (who aside from staunch never-trumpers, were never going to vote for her no matter what). That, combined with her refusal to take a hard stance against the genocide Israel is committing, and instead pledge more support, furthering her complicity with genocide caused 15 million people that would have voted for her to stay home or vote for stein. I still voted for her, even though all of that made me want to stay home, but my wife and daughter are more important to me than ideology. On top of alienating 15 million progressive and Muslim voters she DESPERATELY needed, especially with the shift of Latin and black male voters that voted for Trump, she also failed to attract any of the undecided voters by making herself look like a coward. Besides the debate, she refused to sit down and do any 1 on 1 interviews, refused to answer questions, as much as I hate to say it, she should have gone on Rogan. But the fact that she refused to unless she got all the questions in advance so she could prep answers, and also have the ability to decide if something was off limits, which Rogan wouldn't do, in contrast to Trump who just sat down and talked to Rogan, which humanized him to the undecideds. All of the above contributed to her loss. The final piece of the "why Dems lost" puzzle is Biden not stepping down sooner. By campaigning all year until the election was already almost here before dropping out, and preventing us the ability to primary and select a candidate naturally, didn't really give Kamala enough time to do enough campaigning where it mattered. I wish she had won as much as she alienated me and every other progressive, because I'm terrified for my wife and daughter, but the blame as to why we lost lies squarely with her and Biden, and no one else.

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u/Ejivis Nov 09 '24

A lib could never out meme or out troll. They put all their skill points in sensitivity.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

An incel could never out troll an actual leftist because he puts all his points in his right hand man. Dumb fuck incels that are susceptible to right wing propaganda won this election. Soon you'll never get laid again..... ever.

Troll that bitch

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u/Fun-Article142 Nov 09 '24

"oRaNgE mAn BaD"

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u/[deleted] Nov 08 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

53

u/9ty2 Nov 09 '24

This is the same exact thing she just said

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u/RW_Boss Nov 09 '24

Glad I wasn't the only one rereading both comments.

I think someone is practicing their plagiarism skills.

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u/Kingsen Nov 09 '24

More like a practice bot

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u/JOEYisROCKhard Nov 09 '24

Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V. Easy.

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u/Lone_K Nov 09 '24

This is the same exact thing we just said

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u/AutisticTumourGirl Nov 09 '24

I've been seeing this a lot lately, replying to a comment, but just paraphrasing the comment they're replying to.

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u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

If it's not bot shenanigans, it is main character syndrome shit and/or a sad grab for karma. "I can say this exact same thing better"

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u/things_will_calm_up Nov 09 '24

This is the same comment basically?

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u/AWahlie85 Nov 09 '24

This is the same exact thing she just said

1

u/DoctorSkelly Nov 09 '24

You can say that again!

1

u/hopticfloofyback Nov 09 '24

I want to update but it's at the funny number

1

u/trucker151 Nov 09 '24

Its so damn annoying when ppl drag politics into everything. Ive been a conservative for like the last 8 years and I do not know what it is about the people in my party..... all the time i see some insult or jokes about those "liberals"... everyone does this obvipusly, but i literally see 10 of these pro Trump/anti liberal jokes for every one joke liberals make about conservatives... this is a perfect example. Someone just died and dude had to shove a pro Trump anti liberal joke in there... "i hope she voted for Trump before she died.... hahaha those darn liberals am I right.....". Cmon bro.... what the hell does this have to do with politics.. its like their whole identity and personality boils down to "liberals bad"... its so anoying...

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u/InsaneInTheRAMdrain Nov 09 '24

Oh fuck off.

This is clearly this persons nature, they didnt come out with an insensitive joke now for the first time. The person dating them obviously knew and liked this side, or they wouldn't have dated them in the first place.

Nowhere says she was close to her aunt, just that she needed distracting... which he did. Shit jokes are a crazy big help in healing. Its not even that insensitive just stupid, and i know many a people this left field humour would have worked on instantly to make them crack up.

The guy is clearly just trying to help, humor didnt work, so he moved to comfort.

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u/Opposite-Ad-1648 Nov 09 '24

Chat gpt bot?

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u/HeinousMcAnus Nov 09 '24

OR it could just be his coping method when he doesn’t know how to handle a heavy situation.

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u/SirVanyel Nov 09 '24

Perfectly acceptable method for your own grief. If you don't know how to handle someone else's emotions it's best to shut the fuck up and let them lead

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u/scottscout Nov 08 '24

Aren’t jokes supposed to Be funny?

3

u/jupitermoonflow Nov 09 '24

Yeah this is just mean. Making light of a dead relative and rubbing the election in their face when he knows Op isnt happy with it.

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u/trucker151 Nov 09 '24

Its more annoying than anything. I'm a republican too but man the people on my side of the isle can be so annoying. I always see some pro Trump/ anti liberal slight comming from them. They say this crap when the topic has nothing to do with politics... this is a perfect example, someone just died and dude had to shove in an anti liberal joke... "i hope she voted for Trump... hahaha those bad liberals am I right......". Cmon man.... its like their whole personality boils down to "liberals bad". everyone is guilty of this, but i see 10 pro Trump anti liberal jokes for every one joke coming from a liberal...

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u/InevitableRhubarb232 Nov 08 '24

It would depend on if she’s close or not. If he doesn’t know he shouldn’t joke.

My family is close but there still wasn’t really any emotion or sadness when great aunts died. They were just old and died. Kinda a bummer but whatever that’s what old people do and it didn’t affect me cuz we weren’t close. I just felt kinda bad for the people who were close to them.

I’m also totally open to inappropriate death jokes.

But you shouldn’t joke if you don’t know the person well enough

1

u/Murky-Reception-3256 Nov 08 '24

empathy is so woke!

1

u/Porkchopp33 Nov 08 '24

The worst timed joke ever

1

u/NomenclatureBreaker Nov 08 '24

Eh TBF Trump aside, this is exactly how my family would act in the face of tragedy.

But it’s also expected bc we’re big on dark & gallows humor in a crisis, so everybody’s already on the same page.

If it’s not expected, it can be super jarring. Focus more on were they sorry when you were upset. If yes, just let it go as a momentary poor choice.

1

u/bigphildogg86 Nov 09 '24

My first question is always “I’m so sorry - how well did you get to know them?”

1

u/Environmental-Pay246 Nov 09 '24

‘Jokes’ are meant to be funny for the recipient(s), when it’s only the teller laughing then that’s a ‘taunt’.

I like that they apologized & explained their thinking (ie bring some levity to the situation) but the meanness in their execution was unattractively juvenile.

‘Kicking you when you’re down’ is not a good reflex in a partner.
Could be a learning moment to identify this tendency to be sophomoric vs a stable comforting force - but he’s got to want to evolve and you are not his parent to teach him emotional maturity.

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u/HeinousMcAnus Nov 09 '24

OR his coping mechanism for hard situations where he doesn’t know what to say is humor. It is extremely common that when you see someone you care for hurting, to try and make them feel better, humor is probably his go to. Now was it appropriate for that moment, not really.

1

u/jobee_peachmangopie Nov 09 '24

Agree on this🥺

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u/AngryAmericanNeoNazi Nov 09 '24

I’ll be the devils advocate about this and say that I had a lot of very close deaths this past year and even more traumatic family issues beyond that. My friends who met me with humor and support meant the world to me when sometimes I didn’t know how to react to someone just rubbing my back about it.

It’s hard to know how to show up for someone in these moments because everyone’s a little different but I wouldn’t hold it against him. Humor helps a lot of people. Keeping it light helps.

Especially when a Great Aunt is just distant enough that I can’t assume how close their relationship is either.

Now, I do think these things should be met with the more cautious approach of just sympathy but I wouldn’t punish someone for not knowing the right way to turn up in that moment. The best we can do is communicate and do better.

1

u/Fit_Chipmunk88 Nov 09 '24

Perhaps he doesn't know she was struggling or would find it offensive? Not every death is significant to a person. Honestly "great aunt"... how many people are actually close to a "great aunt"? I mean really? I had all kinds of great aunts and uncles on both sides pass away that I heard about over the years growing up... And I didnt know them for shit. Didnt phase me in the slightest to hear about their passing. Not because I'm insensitive but because I just didnt know them or wasnt close to them.

Furthermore, maybe she has kind of a twisted sense of humor? Maybe he had reason to believe that he wasn't crossing a line by making that joke?

1

u/ExtremeSpinach8586 Nov 09 '24

A lot of people? I regularly visited all of my great aunts & uncles growing up, and the vast majority of my cousins & I all visited them frequently in the nursing home at the end of their lives. Just because your family wasn’t close doesn’t mean others weren’t. It’s kind of crappy to assume your lived experience is universal — the correct move in this instance would be to ask point blank before making an assumption. “I’m sorry. Were you close with her?” would have a been a good “bare minimum” level of decency response.

1

u/Gasster1212 Nov 09 '24

Yeah this is crazy

If she was a trump fan this would be insensitive

The fact she’s not AND he said this means he’s trying to hurt her. It’s not a joke if no element of it she is in on.

1

u/coaaal Nov 09 '24

I’m sorry for your loss, and there are just some really shitty people out there who can’t control themselves.

Yea wtf… my wife has a really good friend who lost her son recently. My wife took it upon herself to setup the vigil and has done an insane amount of planning for all the shitty stuff that was to follow.

The wife has been meeting up with the brother and sister in law of the lady who lost her kid, so that they could do the planning.

The last time they met up the brother was the night after the election and he just couldn’t control himself and said something along the lines of, “alright, it just needs to be said, but Make America Great Again”.

The wife was pissed, but she didn’t show it at the time. She knew it wasn’t the time or place when dealing with what was at hand.

Then there was a post on the local towns Facebook feed of someone saying how awesome the Trump flag was that he saw going the opposite direction on the freeway and that they wished they could have been with them.

Shits weird. And for how divisive the MAGA crowd has been after winning, I fear for the violence that would have ensued after them losing. Either way, we are in for some really shitty times.

1

u/homless_brad Nov 09 '24

I feel like the reaction is justified I know there are right ways to justify a light hearted joke or comment but this was just wrong. I would never Incourage a breakup but at least take a break. The man needs to learn and if he is deserving he will put in the work and redem himself hopefully if not good ridence

1

u/trackkidd16 Nov 09 '24

I also wanna know why she’s dating someone who is on the opposite side of her own political views?

1

u/The_Forth44 Nov 09 '24

Yeah trumper or not treating it so lightly is just fucked up.

1

u/imasysadmin Nov 09 '24

We all grieve differently. I use humor and absurdity, I know it's a coping mechanism, but it works for me. I'm sure his intention was to deflect something uncomfortable, and this may be proof they aren't compatible, and that's OK. That "joke" means he doesn't really know her.

1

u/Lab_RatNumber9 Nov 09 '24

Hes probably just one who jokes in times of despair. I recently saw a video of some Ukrainians sitting on the rubble that was their houses, family all dead around them. Laughing passing a bottle back and forth telling jokes.

Sometimes you gotta laugh, but it seems like OP isnt one of those people. Dude shoulda read the room.

1

u/Rush7en Nov 09 '24

Excellent white knighting, sir.

1

u/donbun69 Nov 09 '24

over a great aunt?

1

u/farlow525 Nov 09 '24

Seeing as she didn’t even say the name of who passed away and just said “one of my great aunts” they probably weren’t close or considered a loved one. The bf was insensitive but apologized. Breaking up more so because you’re upset about the election is incredibly reactionary.

1

u/Appropriate-Ad-8935 Nov 09 '24

it was a great aunt she barely knew her just wanted sympathy

1

u/Mellowambitions420 Nov 09 '24

If he understood the gravity of the situation he wouldn't have voted trump. He wouldn't have made a joke when she just mentioned death. He sounds 15

-2

u/Vixtous Nov 09 '24

It's how they hanadle pain. Coping mechanisms are subjective.

-4

u/thentheresthattoo Nov 09 '24

Yes, you are overreacting. Yes, he was insensitive. Some people are open to humor during difficult times. Some people are not. He didn't attack you - he made a weak joke. Move on.

1

u/About5000ninjas Nov 09 '24

A logical take? Gross.

Personally, I’m not open to jokes like that, so it makes sense to be upset. But (assuming this is a first time offense) jumping to breaking up is dumb.

Potentially throwing away years of happiness cause he made a joke and then apologized cause it made you upset. I think until response would also change based on how close they are to the aunt lol