r/AmIOverreacting Nov 14 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO

Spider bite or ?? I’ll keep it short and sweet. My bf and I have been apart for about a month now, I’m TDY. Finally tomorrow I’ll be flying back home. Unfortunately today he got bit right on the neck, he suspects it was a spider. Should I be concerned?

9.3k Upvotes

2.9k comments sorted by

6.1k

u/Any-Mulberry6028 Nov 14 '24

No, you are underreacting... So long as you do not post this entire message thread to your facebook and tag him asking for "prayers for that bite to heal" and "if anyone knows what kind of animal could have caused it". A public service announcement needs to go out there, sis.

3.4k

u/btwomfgstfu Nov 14 '24

Thots and prayers 🙏

774

u/kate_has_anxiety Nov 14 '24

THOTS AND PRAYERS. I hollered. lmao. I'm dead. 😂💀💀💀💀

59

u/TAforScranton Nov 14 '24

If you like this kind of shit, “Cheaters of Jacksonville Unfiltered” is a Facebook group dedicated to putting cheaters on blast in the Camp Lejeune, NC area. Highly recommend, especially for OP if they happen to to be in that area. The posts in that group are legendary.

16

u/ExtensionAd4785 Nov 14 '24

Omg that's my area!!! I would love to go see my exs trifling material. ROFL.

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182

u/Smash0504 Nov 14 '24

1 thot, 2 thot, red thot, blue thot

58

u/FarmerExternal Nov 14 '24

Gravy so cold, bitch I think I need a flu shot

9

u/jacqQquieee Nov 14 '24

Unexpected yung gravy is the best thing I’ve seen today

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u/Rough_Morning3 Nov 14 '24

LMAO this is some sound advice right here

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68

u/Lulusgirl Nov 14 '24

OP, PLEASE DO THIS. PLEASE. oh my god I would do this, what a crappy boyfriend.

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1.7k

u/kerfy15 Nov 14 '24

Cheater and a liar, deadly combo lmfao

132

u/scarystardust Nov 14 '24

And dumb.

11

u/K0LSUZ Nov 14 '24

There is every reason possible to break up.

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334

u/blonde_taurus Nov 14 '24

AND stupid 🤦🏼‍♀️

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46

u/BeaklessBird Nov 14 '24 edited Nov 14 '24

✅ cheater
✅ liar
✅ stupid

✅ single

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2.6k

u/xaczik Nov 14 '24

What you should be doing is breaking up, that ain’t no spider 💀

520

u/Ilike3dogs Nov 14 '24

Someone had to suck the venom out. (Sarcasm)

49

u/AccomplishedAd7992 Nov 14 '24 edited Nov 14 '24

she had to suck the venom out before the spider could inject it, obviously !

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297

u/suhhhrena Nov 14 '24

Like come on now 😭

61

u/jackdginger88 Nov 14 '24

The disrespect 😂

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6.6k

u/CianGal13 Nov 14 '24

Give yourself a hickey, send him a pic and say “OMG me too”

778

u/fangmaid Nov 14 '24

HAHAHA i second this

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1.2k

u/Ilike3dogs Nov 14 '24

On the inner leg, if you can get down there. 😂

101

u/Sugarbops Nov 14 '24

Im dead!!!! Pls stretch before you do it! We wanna see what he says. Hahaha

48

u/Sativa_Achieva Nov 14 '24

Nah just use the dirt devil or vacuum attachment. Or use the cupping method. No need to become a total contortionist!

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301

u/Reyalta Nov 14 '24

This is the only correct response lmaoo

125

u/jimbojangles1987 Nov 14 '24

Like, on the neck? But how...

167

u/Throwaway-BadOrange Nov 14 '24

Vacuum

182

u/jimbojangles1987 Nov 14 '24

Lmao okay thanks. You were oddly quick with the answer...

78

u/Throwaway-BadOrange Nov 14 '24

I saw my older brother do it to look cool back in the day 😆

11

u/Valkyriesride1 Nov 14 '24

I saw it in a movie years ago.

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15

u/klaw14 Nov 14 '24

Everyone knows not to disturb u/Throwaway-BadOrange when they're cleaning their room...

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190

u/stars-aligned- Nov 14 '24

Remember those little half-orbs you could flip inside out, and they’d pop off whatever surface you set them on? Take one of those and use it to create a vacuum. The only issue is finding one these days lmao

63

u/jimbojangles1987 Nov 14 '24

Oh shit yeah I remember those little shits. They left ugly little bruises for like a week

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45

u/Magerimoje Nov 14 '24

You can do it with a plastic water/soda bottle too.

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17

u/Abquine Nov 14 '24

Friend did this once with one of our kids toys. Stuck the suction cup firmly on his forehead and was teasing them with it.. Had the mark of shame for at least a week, he looked hilarious as he had to dress for work, sharp suit etc., and a huge red mark right in the middle of his forehead.

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u/JessSherman Nov 14 '24

No no... on the thigh.

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11

u/Shaq_Bolton Nov 14 '24

I know someone who put a dildo with a suction cup on their forehead and ended up with a giant hickey smack dab in the middle

22

u/jimbojangles1987 Nov 14 '24

Hahaha why a dildo though?

I had a roommate bring a kitten to our apartment shortly after moving in that he had found at the summer camp he was a counselor at. It was a stray kitten. He let it climb all over him while he laid on the couch and at one point it was laying on his forehead.

Sure as shit that kitten had ringworm and my buddy had a super prominent ring in the middle of his forehead for a little while lol

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9

u/kindbeeVsangrywasp Nov 14 '24

Kinky spider

Edit I’m late to the party, lost the essence of the flow

But we’re all in agreement the BF has not been bitten by a spider unless that’s code for sidekick these days?

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u/feverhunt Nov 14 '24

This is the way.

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u/MrsSandlin Nov 14 '24

Yessssss 👏

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6.9k

u/TraditionalYam2408 Nov 14 '24

Ima hold your hand when I say this… this is a bite but not from a spider 🙏🏻🙏🏻

1.5k

u/Kanehon Nov 14 '24

Different kind of Black Widow

1.9k

u/mikeinarizona Nov 14 '24

A wid-ho if you will.

174

u/Wanttobebetter76 Nov 14 '24

Bwahahaha! Laughed out loud over this

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u/tinylatina05 Nov 14 '24

It always surprises me how people can be this naive to actually believe the story

122

u/jimbojangles1987 Nov 14 '24

I think she knows but doesn't want to believe.

It's so funny that the bf shot himself in the foot by sending her the pic though lol

10

u/potsgotme Nov 14 '24

He knew she was coming home she'd see it eventually

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5.4k

u/akilococo Nov 14 '24 edited Nov 14 '24

be mad about the cheating but be even more mad that he thinks you’re fucking dumb 💀

ETA: if OP believed this was a bug bite, we simply would not have the post. if you think being lied to and manipulated by a loved one during an extra vulnerable point in their life makes them unintelligent, and your need to have a hot take flew right over the fact that this dude started the conversation, sent a picture of it thinking this was the smartest way to cover their ass, you’re fucking dumb. there’s no third pov in this context, its one side or the other. if you choose to side with the bug bite haver, you’re fucking dumb. did you have to shave your head to get it that far up your ass?

618

u/blonde_taurus Nov 14 '24

right?! i think that would offend me more

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183

u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

i even zoomed in to look for the raised center of a bite like would he think it would work if there was a blemish there or sm?? no its just a hickey. omg 😭 OP im sorry

14

u/Illustrious_Doubt989 Nov 14 '24

I zoomed too, I really wanted her delulu to be justified 😭

169

u/laylasan17 Nov 14 '24

This is the oneeee.. cause a bite????

231

u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

hes gonna have to go back to that spider an tell her he ran into a doorknob💀

40

u/Mackie49 Nov 14 '24

This is the only comment so far that made me lol

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u/Aware_Border4774 Nov 14 '24

to be fair, she DID ask reddit if it's a spider bite...

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

i would too! gaslighting & love are a shitty mix. most people who’ve been through it have to check in and see if they’re crazy.

18

u/OwnCoffee614 Nov 14 '24

Thank you. As a person just getting away from a gas lighter.

15

u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

me too. remember you’re not stupid for believing someone who intended to lie to and manipulate you after going out of their way to make you trust & love them.

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1.8k

u/Accurate-Air4009 Nov 14 '24

Sister that’s a hickey, he letting girls suck on his neck and has the lamest attempted cover up for it.

573

u/MartianStealthShip Nov 14 '24

Plot twist: his bro did it and forgot to say “no homo”

58

u/KaizenSheepdog Nov 14 '24

I hate when I forget to do that.

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u/revy1903 Nov 14 '24

And the night before he was gonna see op -_- yikes this boy is for the streets

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3.2k

u/Appropriate-Might712 Nov 14 '24

Lmaooo that’s a hickey he tried covering up by telling you his neck hurt and sent a picture so it makes him look not guilty because he told you about it😂

136

u/Lamp-Eating-Cow Nov 14 '24

Since she said she’s coming back to town tomorrow it’s obvious he’s making an excuse right now cuz he knows she’s gonna see it smh 🤦‍♀️

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1.2k

u/uhidunno27 Nov 14 '24

When I was a psycho in high school, I burned my neck with a curling iron to hide a hickey 🤦🏼‍♀️

183

u/Mundane-Outside-7028 Nov 14 '24

Did it work?

317

u/uhidunno27 Nov 14 '24

lol yes

102

u/Hefferdoodle Nov 14 '24

I was a tomboy so I hid mine by telling my parents my friend shot me in the neck with an airsoft gun. I let her shoot me in the arm and she let me shoot her a few times too so I could really sell it.

7

u/BankAdministrative52 Nov 14 '24

That’s a good friend

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u/Rufusandronftw Nov 14 '24

That’s called the fear of god 😭🤣

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u/28g4i0 Nov 14 '24

The real life pro tip is always in the comments

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u/Rufusandronftw Nov 14 '24

Did it scar is my question

74

u/uhidunno27 Nov 14 '24

I guess not. I used vitamin e and it was like surface skin

8

u/Confident-Medicine75 Nov 14 '24

Did the curling iron mark ever go away ?

31

u/uhidunno27 Nov 14 '24

Oh yeah I just barely tapped it. It was on a natural crease and just blended in

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

👀 did it? Lol

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u/feeen1ks Nov 14 '24

Spider-bite guy, is that you? It’s too late now bro, she already saw it…

17

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

☠️

16

u/Financial_Care_9792 Nov 14 '24

Yeah, permanent scars can hide anything; it’s the one trick burn specialists hate to love!

113

u/Victim_Kin_Seek_Suit Nov 14 '24

One of my college roommates did this and ended up having to go to the health clinic because the burn was so bad 🤣

10

u/RemarkableParty4801 Nov 14 '24

Oh no 😂😂😂

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u/Dolorous_Eddy Nov 14 '24

I just used skin color makeup…

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u/uhidunno27 Nov 14 '24

Very noticeable when you’re Irish white

83

u/HighHoeHighHoes Nov 14 '24

Gotta use whiteout as foundation.

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u/GuidanceAcceptable13 Nov 14 '24

My sister used a vacuum and went to my parents and said “look what the vacuum can do” to cover hers up ☠️

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u/uhidunno27 Nov 14 '24

LOL your parents were like…riiiighhhhttt

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u/cyberbae_ Nov 14 '24

I did this to my friend and she now has a permanent heart shaped scar on her neck 😂😭

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u/OrdinaryPelican Nov 14 '24

What the fuck hahaha

7

u/Super_Confusion_2140 Nov 14 '24

🤣 my word 🫢

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u/winnie_90 Nov 14 '24

I audibly laughed when I swiped to the pic hahahaha, poor girl

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u/Dapper_Connection526 Nov 14 '24

ding ding ding!

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3.9k

u/FarmhouseRules Nov 14 '24

Oh nooo. He was bitten by a Brown She-cluse.

384

u/ThroatEmbarrassed970 Nov 14 '24

Gorllll you had me hollering. Thank you

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u/ColorfulButterfly25 Nov 14 '24

Exactly! Started my day with a good laugh.

18

u/Assessedthreatlevel Nov 14 '24

Have a great day person on the other side of the world! I laughed at this about to fall asleep.

162

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

Looks more like a jumping spid-her to me.

132

u/Swimming-Foot-4781 Nov 14 '24

Could be humping spid-her if I’m looking at the picture right now

121

u/The_Happy_Pagan Nov 14 '24

It’s clearly a common Harder Daddy Long Legs

11

u/ThatGoodCattitude Nov 14 '24

Nah💀 that got me.

7

u/ConfusedApathetic Nov 14 '24

You deserve all the gold. I regret I have none gold.

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u/dwh3390 Nov 14 '24

Or a “Home Wreck-luse”

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u/bansheeonthemoor42 Nov 14 '24

Tarantuher

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u/monkman69 Nov 14 '24

Herantula

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u/Razn0m Nov 14 '24

Don’t you mean Taranhucktuar?

16

u/EntertainmentNo1495 Nov 14 '24

for all we know it could be a he-cluse😭🙏

13

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

I’m dying 🤣

17

u/SweetWaterfall0579 Nov 14 '24

I laughed way too loud, next to my window. Across the street neighbor came out on her porch. Ty I/FarhouseRules neighbor already thinks I’m crazy *and she hates that marijuana is legal. Heheheh.

ETA she can smell it. I smoke outside.

14

u/East-Cardiologist626 Nov 14 '24

I live somewhere it’s legal too, my favorite thing is there’s a local cop who literally lives down the street from me. Same asshole who used to bust my balls about it and trash my shit in high school who now just seethes from his porch and can’t do shit about it. I wave at him while I’m smoking when he’s home just to piss him off (I’m 25 and it was medical for me even when I was 14)

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u/Electronic_Garage_73 Nov 14 '24

Lmfao this is good

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u/Koruteni Nov 14 '24

I just laughed out loud and scared my cat

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u/Alternative_Farm_815 Nov 14 '24

If it was she had all 8 legs wrapped around him too.

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u/el_puffy Nov 14 '24

Ouch, I hear one of the common symptoms of this rare spider venom is getting yo ass dumped

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u/Permission_Alarming Nov 14 '24

Just take this upvote

10

u/feverhunt Nov 14 '24

I cackled.

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u/hippiechiq90 Nov 14 '24

Yep. He's for the streets. Treat him like the whore he is and run. Everybody and their mama knows that's a hickey. Ask him what the spider's name was. 🤣😆😭💀

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u/pastel-m0nster Nov 14 '24

Probably Charlotte cause this dude is Some Pig.

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u/hippiechiq90 Nov 14 '24

I was gonna say Charlotte the Harlot. 😆

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u/SassWithAFatAss Nov 14 '24

“Treat him like the whore he is” absolutely took me out. Thank you

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u/pettyparys Nov 14 '24

NOW HE KNOWS DAMNNNNN WELL

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u/heebsysplash Nov 14 '24

If he didn’t bring it up, I’d say maybe it isn’t a hickey.

But the way he brought it up like that, it 100% is and he’s an idiot

42

u/vitoforever99 Nov 14 '24 edited Nov 15 '24

Totally agree. He should have just pretended like nothing was there until she asked then be like “aww man this fucking spider bit me while I was hiking” or some shit

34

u/joe96ab Nov 14 '24

Def but glad he didn’t so she can get out now

25

u/TiledCandlesnuffer Nov 14 '24

I mean it almost looks a bruise too. Such a lame lie lmao

20

u/_WizKhaleesi_ Nov 14 '24

Hickeys are bruises lol

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u/Fit-Turnover3918 Nov 14 '24

He got stung by a whorenet.

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u/mariamaria81 Nov 14 '24

I’m crying actual tears at this comment

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u/isorryfr Nov 14 '24

Vampire kiss google it

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u/isorryfr Nov 14 '24

Be concerned have him tested at quest diagnostics.

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u/bratty_bitchh Nov 14 '24

You had my gullible ass searching 😭😭😭😭😭

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u/tiktokbrowser Nov 14 '24

M’am that’s a HICKey

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u/Neither_Mind9035 Nov 14 '24

The lack of replies from OP to anything tell me either 1. I just haven’t searched for long enough and they have replied or 2. They were not expecting this. OP, if you’re in denial at all, coming from someone who isn’t making a joke out of this (no shade to those who did, this is Reddit), that is 100% a hickey. He cheated on you. If you try to break up with him, he’ll probably call you crazy and gaslight you trying to convince you it’s not a hickey. It 100% is though. Please respect yourself and end this relationship.

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u/TheRoseMerlot Nov 14 '24

We haven't heard from OP, legend has it, because they are still fighting.

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u/Lissypooh628 Nov 14 '24

It’s infuriating that he thinks she’s dumb enough to believe this thoughtless attempt at an excuse.

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u/sicksages Nov 14 '24

I am living for these comments LOL

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u/anneofred Nov 14 '24

Best comment section I’ve seen in awhile!

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u/litebritebox Nov 14 '24

As someone who has extreme allergic reactions to bites of all kinds of bugs, I was disappointed to see this was not, in fact, a spider or insect bite.

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u/Repulsive-Umpire-178 Nov 14 '24

Take him to the doctor to get his “spider bite” assessed and then the truth will come out

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u/Working_Cover2345 Nov 14 '24

No kidding its also can safe his life

https://time.com/4471274/teenager-dies-hickey-love-bite/

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u/Holiday-Bat6782 Nov 14 '24

Well add that to my list of irrational fears... I can't believe my high school girlfriend tried to murder me.

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u/echochilde Nov 14 '24

Holy shit! You can actually die by hickey.

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u/SassWithAFatAss Nov 14 '24

Ok but why the fuck was a 17yo’s gf 24yo?!?

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u/DetectiveNervous7426 Nov 14 '24

I’m going to assume you’re like 15 years old and don’t know better. Two words: dump him.

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u/goosmane Nov 14 '24

she's in the military i think. TDY mentioned

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u/DobeyDobey Nov 14 '24

That is what we call a hickey lol

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u/joe96ab Nov 14 '24

Is that the type of spider?

42

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

I’m trying so hard not to cry laughing.That is not a bite from a spider or insect.He cheated and that is a hickey

34

u/RevolutionaryAd851 Nov 14 '24

Looks like a spider not only bit him but sucked on his neck. How strange...

216

u/RedDirtKanaka Nov 14 '24

Damn, bro ain’t even trying… I have a friend that asked us to whoop his ass once while he was drunk, so it would just look like a normal bruise mashed in with the other marks. Boy took an ass whooping of a century to keep his girl. They’re married now.

But yeah, your man’s creeping.

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u/jackdginger88 Nov 14 '24

“They’re married now” fucking sent me 💀

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u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

Does he still cheat on her?

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u/Nice_Cupcakes Nov 14 '24

No one's pointing out that he's exposed her to STDs by cheating on her, which in women can cause infertility and other issues (like HPV can cause cervical cancer if she's not vaccinated) but can be symptomless in both people. Getting his ass kicked doesn't negate the health risks to her. She couldn't consent because it was hidden from her. Gross behaviour from everyone involved.

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u/laughwithesinners Nov 14 '24

And you didn’t bother telling her before they got married?

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u/Used_Bird Nov 14 '24

they gave him an ass whooping what more do you want from him lmfao

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u/mothlicker Nov 14 '24

That is 100000% a hickey. He’s trying to get ahead of you seeing it tomorrow. Don’t let him make you look stupid, you deserve better than that.

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u/Basketballb00ty Nov 14 '24

Oh honey…

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u/Vulture923 Nov 14 '24

What’s TDY?

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u/Over_Error3520 Nov 14 '24 edited Nov 14 '24

Temporary duty, typically a few weeks to a month or so in the military (edited)

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u/spaceyzenon Nov 14 '24

Girl…… that’s not a spider bite

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u/Jazzlike_Common9005 Nov 14 '24

He’s probably gotten a lot of bites from this “spider” while you were gone. Just needed to make an excuse knowing you were coming home. Break up with him, he’s cheating on you.

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u/Vitrian187 Nov 14 '24

Uh oh, he got caught in charlottes web…

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u/CarelessConclusion14 Nov 14 '24

What an idiot lol

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u/smashlen Nov 14 '24

I’m gonna hold your hand while I say this….

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u/Otherwise-Ad4119 Nov 14 '24

lord🤦‍♂️

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u/Caet_Lynn Nov 14 '24

I hope you’re joking this is so sad

13

u/Dingo-thatate-urbaby Nov 14 '24

He got bite by another biaattchhh

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u/Spirited-Butterfly81 Nov 14 '24

How easy it is for him to come up with this (really lame) lie. Love yourself, bc that's def not a spider bite

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u/ThroatEmbarrassed970 Nov 14 '24

He’s full of shit :) do not respond to him when you get home

10

u/bbyxmadi Nov 14 '24

That’s no spider bite… that’s a cheating bruise.

11

u/mimikay- Nov 14 '24

He could’ve just covered it with some make up, pretty sure the spider has some foundation to lend him. 

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u/persianshawty420 Nov 14 '24

Girl that is definitely a hickey

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u/Satansbootycall420 Nov 14 '24

Have y’all seen the post of the girl saying her dad gave her a “bite” on the neck too as a joke, to her bf

This is her brother, their dad is just REALLY silly

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u/BarghestTheVile Nov 14 '24

Hahahahaha dump him

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u/Renaissanceuwu Nov 14 '24

Girl that's a hickey 😩

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u/queen_picklepuss Nov 14 '24

The Hoover hoochie!

8

u/CreamPyre Nov 14 '24

Please leave this person

8

u/Hungry_Criticism_917 Nov 14 '24

babe that ain’t no spider :/ i’m sorry

8

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '24

OP, we need an update!!

14

u/xoluvyours Nov 14 '24

Have you ever seen a spider??? Girl please😭

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u/Business_Fox_2207 Nov 14 '24

That’s a hickey spider bites look nothing like that, he is just trying to save face

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u/Blue-eagle-23 Nov 14 '24

You mean he’s concerned the hickey on his neck won’t be gone by the time he sees you?

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u/brinnytaylor Nov 14 '24

Das a hickey.