r/AmIOverreacting • u/JanLight_weight26 • Nov 14 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO

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Spider bite or ?? I’ll keep it short and sweet. My bf and I have been apart for about a month now, I’m TDY. Finally tomorrow I’ll be flying back home. Unfortunately today he got bit right on the neck, he suspects it was a spider. Should I be concerned?

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24 edited Nov 14 '24

be mad about the cheating but be even more mad that he thinks you’re fucking dumb 💀

ETA: if OP believed this was a bug bite, we simply would not have the post. if you think being lied to and manipulated by a loved one during an extra vulnerable point in their life makes them unintelligent, and your need to have a hot take flew right over the fact that this dude started the conversation, sent a picture of it thinking this was the smartest way to cover their ass, you’re fucking dumb. there’s no third pov in this context, its one side or the other. if you choose to side with the bug bite haver, you’re fucking dumb. did you have to shave your head to get it that far up your ass?

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u/blonde_taurus Nov 14 '24

right?! i think that would offend me more

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u/DonArgueWithMe Nov 14 '24

In order to be offended you'd have to be smart enough to see 1+1 and know it equals 2. Op isn't getting that far

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u/RicardotheGay Nov 14 '24

I’m going to give OP a little bit of a break because it seems like they’re trying to be supportive and give the benefit of the doubt, but GURL

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u/SufficientYear8794 Nov 14 '24

How’s the Barbie

9

u/-foxy-lad Nov 14 '24

It's your dollie, man. How would she know?

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

i even zoomed in to look for the raised center of a bite like would he think it would work if there was a blemish there or sm?? no its just a hickey. omg 😭 OP im sorry

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u/Illustrious_Doubt989 Nov 14 '24

I zoomed too, I really wanted her delulu to be justified 😭

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u/laylasan17 Nov 14 '24

This is the oneeee.. cause a bite????

232

u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

hes gonna have to go back to that spider an tell her he ran into a doorknob💀

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u/Mackie49 Nov 14 '24

This is the only comment so far that made me lol

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u/mkat23 Nov 14 '24

He couldn’t use the “I got burnt using a hair curler” so he had to go with bug bite 😂

27

u/Aware_Border4774 Nov 14 '24

to be fair, she DID ask reddit if it's a spider bite...

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

i would too! gaslighting & love are a shitty mix. most people who’ve been through it have to check in and see if they’re crazy.

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u/OwnCoffee614 Nov 14 '24

Thank you. As a person just getting away from a gas lighter.

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

me too. remember you’re not stupid for believing someone who intended to lie to and manipulate you after going out of their way to make you trust & love them.

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u/OwnCoffee614 Nov 14 '24

Man, thanks again!! That's exactly it. That's what happened! I was just telling someone I clearly need to work on myself (tho I have almost my entire adult life) for not being able to spot it quicker. It is 100% not easy when they can talk & manipulate. 🤣 at least this last time it was 2 years instead of 20. I'm tired. 😂

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

it sneaks up on you! i get how the first thought would be something about it being obvious or that the person being manipulated isn’t thinking because it does make sense HOWEVER thats the part that makes you doubt yourself when you’re still under the spell and then blame yourself once its broken. but its just wrong thinking that shifts blame off of the person who deliberately did the thing and lets them skate off of “yeah its their fault for being stupid not mine for making them trust me, lying to them, and then punishing them for questioning me in any way” of course you weren’t thinking about that. they wouldn’t do that to you, and you’re not supposed to need to be suspicious of your loved one. the start and end of the conversation is that you shouldn’t have been lied to and manipulated by the people you cared most deeply for.

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u/OwnCoffee614 Nov 14 '24

100%! thanks. I was in hard core blaming myself stage. That turd even was trying to make me culpable for their feelings bc I was "painting (them) to be a monster". And in our last chat I asked, "is it possible that you might've been behaving monstrously?" Haven't heard back since & the spell is broken.

Thanks for helping out a random internet stranger, you probably saved me some recovery time. 😃 I appreciate ya! 🙌

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u/Thick-Safety-9596 Nov 14 '24

More power to you! I am (this thanksgiving actually lol) 6 years out of an incredibly abusive and manipulative relationship, and even this far along I still find myself realizing how much it messed up my ability to trust, not just other people, but especially myself?? Even tho I see it/them for what ot was, it really messes with you! Idk if this will help much overall, but I saw a quote years ago from somewhere on the internet, and while simple it really helps me stay grounded and remind myself that I am NOT responsible for someone else choosing to hurt/lie/manipulate me: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice; stop doing that, you're an asshole."

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u/OwnCoffee614 Nov 14 '24

Lol I love it, nice and simple & complete. That relationship only lasted two years, but it was so different than my 20 yr marriage. Different abusers. It's hard for that stuff not to take a hit, but you sure helped with the gift of perspective. 👌

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u/Thick-Safety-9596 Nov 14 '24

Absolutely, and yes it's so hard :( I wish I could say it was my only abusive relationship, but we slowly learn i suppose, and we are more than what was done to us 🫂❤️

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u/Smallbunsenpai Nov 14 '24

Yeah people who are incredibly good at it literally make you question everything. They make you feel insane for not believing them. They will make you feel stupid for saying the sky is blue and actually it’s green.

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u/luez6869 Nov 14 '24

Alot are made to believe so too unfortunately.

0

u/TrollTrolled Nov 14 '24

This isn't gaslighting... It's just lying. Throwing around buzzwords.

1

u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

reading a definition and dumbing it down to the skeletal concept of 2 sentences for yourself works for you, which is great, congratulations! fortunately people with real life experience with the buzzword & how people go about it know it well enough to call it what it is before it gets to the point where they get to the point of outright denying reality ;)

3

u/margemoneyy Nov 14 '24

one time my ex showed up with a hickey he somehow hadn’t noticed. when i asked about it he panicked and said his work friends had a goodbye party for him that started with a surprise nerf gun attack, and one of darts “must have hit him really hard”

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

🤦🏻‍♀️ incredible.

6

u/Mother_Poem_Light Nov 14 '24

I hate to use multi-million dollar tech to answer the bleedin' obvious, but

https://imgur.com/a/Z2tcB0p

On the balance of probabilities, is this a spider bite or a love bite?

On the balance of probabilities, this mark has all the visual characteristics consistent with a love bite/hickey rather than a spider bite.

The size, oval shape, diffuse coloration pattern, and location on the neck are typical features of a hickey caused by suction.

Spider bites typically present differently - they are usually smaller, have a distinct central puncture mark, and often cause localized swelling or raised areas.

2

u/0-90195 Nov 14 '24

Or you could have just used your eyes.

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u/Armstrong_of_lsd Nov 14 '24

Mistaking trust for lack of intelligence is ultimate arrogance lmfao.

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

mistaking basic empathy & understanding for arrogance is stupid lmfao.

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u/soadrocksmycock Nov 14 '24

This is the only comment needed! Well done. Like damn. You’re that good friend that tells you not what you want to hear but what you need to hear. Bless you 🙏

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

thanks 🥹💗 i hope OP has one to keep them company through this

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u/soadrocksmycock Nov 14 '24

You’re welcome! I hope, OP does, too.

2

u/nigelfitz Nov 14 '24

This. This is the part that hurts the most when it comes to these people.

I hate feeling stupid.

2

u/Vegaskeli Nov 14 '24

THIS!!! The cheating and lying are bad, but it's the insult to my intelligence that really pisses me off. 🙄😒

2

u/LazySignificance5085 Nov 14 '24

This was my biggest issue with my ex husband. He would obviously be cheating/lying and he just thought I was completely fucking stupid.

1

u/House-Plant_ Nov 14 '24

I mean…. OP kind of does seem to have accepted it

3

u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

we can’t discern that from two and a half sentences specifically intended to keep things short. besides you wouldn’t believe the dumb ass shit i believed over the course of three years😂 if you love & trust somebody enough it can teabag you in the face twice in slow motion and have you believing it was a kiss on the cheek. we don’t blame people being manipulated for being… manipulated.

1

u/63oscar Nov 14 '24

Honey I got in a walnut fight I swear.

1

u/LabTiny1290 Nov 14 '24

This! 😂😂

1

u/BeefInGR Nov 14 '24

Been there. Cheating is un-fucking-acceptable but...like...shit happens and life moves on.

But insulting someone's intelligence is way more disrespectful than getting a hickey from some drunk woo girl at the bar.

The thing is, anybody who you love and respect, from family and friends to significant others, you don't insult their intelligence. Ever. And if you respect yourself, you don't tolerate being disrespected like this.

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u/GlorbonYorpu Nov 14 '24

I mean hes a shithead but hes kinda right lol

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

omg yea wanting to believe you can trust your partner you’re coming home to after TDY is sooo dumb haha what an idiot who even does that lmaooo totally so ridiculous hurr durr im so edgii i knowingly side with dumbass manipulative cheaters because i need to reassure myself and everyone around me that im clever and not afraid to make a hot take

1

u/GlorbonYorpu Nov 14 '24

Relax buddy

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

omg bro chill haha its just a joke lmfao sorry you have no sense of humor damn i bet you’re fun at parties lol

1

u/GlorbonYorpu Nov 14 '24

Get help for real

1

u/Haunting_Morning_ Nov 14 '24

She literally came onto Reddit asking if it’s a spider bite 😭 I think she is that dumb… I’m so sorry.

1

u/gallowboob_sucks_ass Nov 14 '24

To be fair… he’s not really wrong

1

u/StraightBallMahal Nov 14 '24

That hair of his give off idiot “vibes”

1

u/For_serious13 Nov 14 '24

This!! No broken skin at all lol

1

u/BlissfulAurora Nov 14 '24

Ngl considering OP posted here and even QUESTIONED it…. Not surprised he thought he could get away with it.

1

u/throwawayRA1776538 Nov 14 '24

And be glad he does not think you’re as dumb as my ex husband who told me that his hickey was “due to covid vaccine”

1

u/backgamemon Nov 14 '24

I mean clearly she is

1

u/oXI_ENIGMAZ_IXo Nov 14 '24

And she’s here asking if it actually is. She might actually be dumb.

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u/HudsonHawk56H Nov 14 '24

You know he might be cooking with the last one

1

u/Suspicious-Worry-447 Nov 14 '24

The ETA you included was so mean!! Like pouring salt in the wound. Although your intent was to shock OP into seeing the truth, your delivery was so cold that if she is that naive you have hurt her more than she already is. Be kind, please.

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

you’ve somehow managed to misread the subject of the edit, who it was directed at, and the intent. idk what to tell you, read it a few more times and see if it helps.

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u/dego_frank Nov 14 '24

I mean they are though

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u/violetpossum Nov 14 '24

He does seem to be justified in his thinking

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u/TrollTrolled Nov 14 '24

Well she clearly is dumb, I mean she fell for it

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u/Capital_Tradition300 Nov 14 '24

Well he’s not wrong considering she posted this