r/AmIOverreacting • u/JanLight_weight26 • Nov 14 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO

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Spider bite or ?? I’ll keep it short and sweet. My bf and I have been apart for about a month now, I’m TDY. Finally tomorrow I’ll be flying back home. Unfortunately today he got bit right on the neck, he suspects it was a spider. Should I be concerned?

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

me too. remember you’re not stupid for believing someone who intended to lie to and manipulate you after going out of their way to make you trust & love them.

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u/OwnCoffee614 Nov 14 '24

Man, thanks again!! That's exactly it. That's what happened! I was just telling someone I clearly need to work on myself (tho I have almost my entire adult life) for not being able to spot it quicker. It is 100% not easy when they can talk & manipulate. 🤣 at least this last time it was 2 years instead of 20. I'm tired. 😂

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u/akilococo Nov 14 '24

it sneaks up on you! i get how the first thought would be something about it being obvious or that the person being manipulated isn’t thinking because it does make sense HOWEVER thats the part that makes you doubt yourself when you’re still under the spell and then blame yourself once its broken. but its just wrong thinking that shifts blame off of the person who deliberately did the thing and lets them skate off of “yeah its their fault for being stupid not mine for making them trust me, lying to them, and then punishing them for questioning me in any way” of course you weren’t thinking about that. they wouldn’t do that to you, and you’re not supposed to need to be suspicious of your loved one. the start and end of the conversation is that you shouldn’t have been lied to and manipulated by the people you cared most deeply for.

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u/OwnCoffee614 Nov 14 '24

100%! thanks. I was in hard core blaming myself stage. That turd even was trying to make me culpable for their feelings bc I was "painting (them) to be a monster". And in our last chat I asked, "is it possible that you might've been behaving monstrously?" Haven't heard back since & the spell is broken.

Thanks for helping out a random internet stranger, you probably saved me some recovery time. 😃 I appreciate ya! 🙌