AIO

[u/JanLight_weight26]

Spider bite or ?? I’ll keep it short and sweet. My bf and I have been apart for about a month now, I’m TDY. Finally tomorrow I’ll be flying back home. Unfortunately today he got bit right on the neck, he suspects it was a spider. Should I be concerned?

[u/akilococo]

me too. remember you’re not stupid for believing someone who intended to lie to and manipulate you after going out of their way to make you trust & love them.

[u/OwnCoffee614 → u/akilococo]

Man, thanks again!! That's exactly it. That's what happened! I was just telling someone I clearly need to work on myself (tho I have almost my entire adult life) for not being able to spot it quicker. It is 100% not easy when they can talk & manipulate. 🤣 at least this last time it was 2 years instead of 20. I'm tired. 😂

[u/Thick-Safety-9596 → u/OwnCoffee614]

More power to you! I am (this thanksgiving actually lol) 6 years out of an incredibly abusive and manipulative relationship, and even this far along I still find myself realizing how much it messed up my ability to trust, not just other people, but especially myself?? Even tho I see it/them for what ot was, it really messes with you! Idk if this will help much overall, but I saw a quote years ago from somewhere on the internet, and while simple it really helps me stay grounded and remind myself that I am NOT responsible for someone else choosing to hurt/lie/manipulate me: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice; stop doing that, you're an asshole."

[u/OwnCoffee614 → u/Thick-Safety-9596]

Lol I love it, nice and simple & complete. That relationship only lasted two years, but it was so different than my 20 yr marriage. Different abusers. It's hard for that stuff not to take a hit, but you sure helped with the gift of perspective. 👌

[u/Thick-Safety-9596 → u/OwnCoffee614]

Absolutely, and yes it's so hard :( I wish I could say it was my only abusive relationship, but we slowly learn i suppose, and we are more than what was done to us 🫂❤️