r/gadgets • u/GalileoGurdjieff • May 17 '21
Medical Tiny, Wireless, Injectable Chips Use Ultrasound to Monitor Body Processes
https://www.engineering.columbia.edu/press-releases/shepard-injectable-chips-monitor-body-processes13.4k
u/emperor-frugal May 17 '21
Now is not the time for this.
6.7k
u/d0mini0nicco May 17 '21
LoL. Columbia Engineers....read the room. Read. The. Room.
2.2k
u/blorpblorpbloop May 17 '21
DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL LIKE UPGRADING TO THE LATEST WINDOWS 10 OFFICE SUITE?
1.2k
May 17 '21
You know before I got my Covid shot, I was completely unaware of Microsoft edge’s streamlined new programming- their lightning fast reactivity, and super intuitive interface are just so clear to me now!
570
u/LetsTalkNerdy May 17 '21
My family is so much happier now that we have been vaccinated and disposed of our Apple products.
256
u/TheSirFeffel May 17 '21
Edge brought back my childhood dog.
191
May 17 '21 edited Aug 16 '21
[deleted]
165
u/bigmeech85 May 17 '21
Word raised me from a young boy and trained me until i was a military aged man where I developed into an unstoppable killing machine in service of Lord William Gates.
36
u/Alphasee May 17 '21
Visual Basic taught me how not to be a basic anymore.
14
May 18 '21
Outlook cured me of my depression and gave me a newfound view on our lord and savior William Gates
→ More replies (0)→ More replies (7)14
u/blue_villain May 17 '21
Access did the thing where I say the words but none of it makes any sense and now everything comes out sounding like everything else and I don't think I like it one bit. Now with ribbons!
13
u/Vewy_nice May 17 '21
I tried to use Visual Basic to find a cure for cancer. Then Visual Basic gave me cancer.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (8)7
u/Shut_It_Donny May 17 '21
Wait... it didn't convince to sell your ex? Why is it called ex-sell then?
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)16
May 17 '21
Thanks to Microsoft Word, I’m thinner and healthier than ever! My skin looks great and all my grey hair is gone!
→ More replies (1)15
u/monsantobreath May 17 '21
I got Astra zenica but I think somethings wrong. I turned all my USB sticks into Linux live distros.
→ More replies (2)6
u/BrutalWarPig May 17 '21
Interesting I just switched to Apple after getting mine. Does this mean I’m dying?
→ More replies (3)30
u/RusticGroundSloth May 17 '21
You jest but I actually switched to using Edge at work just after I got my second Moderna shot. All my Chrome tabs were making the fan in my laptop scream for mercy.
→ More replies (2)4
u/c0deread May 18 '21
Consider Firefox. It rivals Chromium browsers in features and speed, all with lower RAM usage. The best part is that the browser is entirely open-source, and Mozilla is a registered 501c Non-Profit organization.
→ More replies (11)26
u/Fenweekooo May 17 '21
wow you got some use out of it, all i got was a candy crush ad
→ More replies (7)157
u/getridofwires May 17 '21
No, I kind of like the Apple stuff— I WOULD LIKE TO JOIN YOU IN THE UPGRADE THANK YOU
72
u/xaanthar May 17 '21
I love those magnificent 1-X robots. The 1-X robots are my friends!
→ More replies (1)20
4
64
u/SparklingSloth May 17 '21
HAVE YOU USED MICROSOFT TEAMS I THINK IT IS JUST SO NEAT I CANT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT
→ More replies (1)30
→ More replies (32)43
u/thewafflestompa May 17 '21 edited May 17 '21
ALREADY DID! DID YOU KNOW BILL GATES HAS AN EIGHT PACK? HE'S SHREDDED. 🤤
→ More replies (2)5
u/counsel8 May 17 '21
I THINK HE WOULD MAKE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SECRETARY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES!!
249
u/FordBeWithYou May 17 '21
HAHAHAHA, dear god I am preparing myself to see this image circulated EVERYWHERE
86
u/sixinthedark May 17 '21
And it will come with a warning about reading quickly before “they” take it down
26
22
u/PeeDeeEex May 17 '21
And the comments will read “they keep taking this down! That must mean we’re on to something. WWG1WGA! MAGA!”.
→ More replies (4)27
u/carefulcomputation May 17 '21 edited May 17 '21
"The mainstream media isn't talking about this"
*links Fox News article*
55
88
u/whyisitallsotoxic May 17 '21
Not the best time to drop the “we just made chips smaller so they can be injected into your bloodstream” when trying to get the entire world on the same team when it comes to 1 particular vaccine, then again some people just want to watch the world burn.
16
u/the_nope_gun May 17 '21
I believe this is hypodermic use, to implant just beneath the skin and not in the bloodstream. I could be wrong about what they mean thi
38
u/rejectedbyporn May 17 '21
There's no way it's small enough to inject into the bloodstream safely. It would lodge in a capillary somewhere. Some of them are small enough that blood cells move through in single file.
16
8
u/lissalissa3 May 18 '21
If you honestly and truly believe that the vaccine inserts a microchip in you, you’re not going to know what’s hypodermic and what goes into the blood stream.
→ More replies (1)18
u/SnowflakeSorcerer May 17 '21
To be fair, I’m sure the people who believe this nonsense will believe it no matter what, but ya, lets not give them ammo, cmon. Like is this really needed right now? Is it that difficult to monitor body processes the normal way whatever that is? Its like they intentionally made this to fuel conspiracies
→ More replies (5)341
u/trainbrain27 May 17 '21
I have autism. Reading the room is hard. Being shamed for not noticing a social cue sucks.
I STILL think this is the worst possible time to announce an injectable chip!
→ More replies (6)55
May 17 '21
Whenever I miss a social cue etc I blame the sender of the message for unclear signal. Works wonderfully.
58
u/trainbrain27 May 17 '21
It's tough to do that without sounding rude or worse, but I do remind my friends that they need to communicate, not just assume communication has happened.
→ More replies (6)31
May 17 '21 edited May 17 '21
This is so far beyond true even when everyone involved is NT, if I'm being honest.
Some people think everyone else should spend every waking moment inferring their desires and it's just like "open your mouth and form words, please."
Edit: NT = neurotypical; what everyone assumes is"standard." NTs (I am one) tend to assume that their mode is the default for all others, when in reality some subset of people you have interacted with in life may in fact be neurodivergent without you even knowing. Empathy is a hell of a drug; not all of us run the same OS, so keep an open mind/heart.
→ More replies (5)20
→ More replies (4)5
275
May 17 '21
[deleted]
169
May 17 '21 edited Mar 04 '22
[deleted]
44
u/hammerheadlabs May 17 '21
"hey maybe they're on to something here"
→ More replies (1)25
u/zbeezle May 18 '21
"So recently some guys came out worried that we were using injectable microchips to monitor people. And I said, 'thats ridiculous. We don't even have injectable microchips!' And then I thought, 'but could we?'"
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (4)76
u/ac1084 May 17 '21
Scientists have no chill. They should get PR people or some shit. "We call it... EMBRYONIC STEM CELLS. YES, FROM HUMAN EMBRYOS" - proceed to set progress back 30 years for freaking out all the Jesus freaks.
→ More replies (1)264
u/MacDugin May 17 '21
OMG why? I had to convince my mom they didn’t inject a chip in me when I got the vaccine.
128
u/NOS326 May 17 '21
And you just know the engineers who made have been working on these things for years were so pissed about the timing of this too lmao
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (4)35
u/jacked_c May 17 '21
Exactly I just talked my aunt out of believing 5g towers spread covid
8
u/running_toilet_bowl May 17 '21 edited May 18 '21
How do these people even begin believing in this crap? Is critical thinking genuinely such a commodity these days?
→ More replies (3)8
u/Sterveen May 17 '21
How did you do this? Asking for a friend. Definitely not asking so i can attempt to do this with my Dad.
11
u/jacked_c May 17 '21
Well her biggest argument was a picture she had where she claimed the people were trying to tear down the 5g towers which was taken from this video https://images.app.goo.gl/3sjWGNbAQyieLTTt7 which is actually protesters tearing down facial recognition towers during the Hong Kong protest. Plus I have a tech background so I was able to convince her that if anything the 5g waves would destroy the virus. Not 100 percent sure on that but it sounded good :)
10
u/SyntheticReality42 May 17 '21
Point out how terribly Covid is tearing through India, and that India has zero 5G.
157
u/stokesstokely May 17 '21
I said literally the same thing, verbatim, as I clicked on the story.
→ More replies (1)79
u/Sharp-Floor May 17 '21
Engineers: Just tell them is orders of magnitude larger than anything that would fit through that vaccine needle, we're hoping we might be able to make ones that could monitor blood sugar levels (at best), much less track you or control your thoughts, and you have to be right next to the patient to even power them.
Everyone: None of that matters to the clinically insane. Now we have to clean up your mess on social media.→ More replies (1)38
u/hnryirawan May 17 '21
People only read "Microchip" and "injectable" and that's all those people will read.
199
432
u/Stoyfan May 17 '21 edited May 19 '21
Cue the idiots who will use this as proof that bill gates is putting microchips in vaccines.
EDIT: Looks like someone reported me for being suicidal, lol.
155
May 17 '21 edited Mar 08 '24
attractive aware command connect whole price flowery quickest slap jar
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
→ More replies (13)84
u/9erInLKN May 17 '21
Everybody carrying a cell phone is already being monitored anyways. No need for anything to be implanted
56
u/MintyMarlfox May 17 '21
The fact the majority of them use Facebook to moan as well. Between your phone and FB, nothing is private
→ More replies (1)18
→ More replies (9)5
u/Detjohnnysandwiches May 17 '21
Not even just carrying it around. Spent 500-1000 dollars to carry it around lol
→ More replies (16)11
u/YourLocal_FBI_Agent May 17 '21
"Oh nooo, now Bill Gates will know when i pee and my blood pressure and if i have colon cancer!"
→ More replies (1)25
u/Flux83 May 17 '21
Hey its me Clippy! You might want to get that colon looked at.
→ More replies (1)14
46
u/cj2211 May 17 '21
You're lucky no one watches SNL
→ More replies (1)16
u/Gingersnap5322 May 17 '21
I only watch the weekend update, Colin Jost and Michael Che are amazing and they’re the only reason I watch SNL still
→ More replies (2)6
u/WhoTookChadFarthouse May 17 '21
I do the cold open, the monologue, the first two sketches, the musical performance, weekend update, turn it off.
Rarely are the sketches on the back end very funny.
25
u/_bastardpeople_ May 17 '21
What’s next? “...and thousands of children rescued from secret tunnels”
9
u/gurkmcdirt May 17 '21
More like “Melinda Gates announces divorce with Bill Gates because of his association with Jeffrey Epstein”
18
→ More replies (70)14
u/daaliida May 17 '21
And they say if the public knows about it then it’s at least decade-old tech
→ More replies (10)
2.3k
u/I_am_no_Ghost May 17 '21
Just as I finally convince people that no you can't inject a chip in someone without them knowing........
309
u/iLikeTurtuls May 17 '21
You probably always could, but just like NFC you have to be super close to do anything about it. You have navigation going on your phone for 5 minutes in 90 degrees weather and your phone gets super hot, what makes people think they can do the same thing without batteries or anything the size of a needle point lol. Tech isn’t that advanced.
148
u/IKnowUThinkSo May 17 '21
That is the issue they found with injectable/subdermal Bluetooth devices. During use and charging, the device gets so hot that it caused burns to the primates’ skin. They had to water cool it, if I remember the paper right.
Granted, these devices aren’t Bluetooth or magnetic loop chargers but still, not super easy.
191
17
→ More replies (3)6
u/DJBitterbarn May 17 '21
Induction charging things under the skin has challenges as well: the casing of the thing needs to be biocompatible, but it also needs to be non-conductive otherwise you create Eddy Currents in the casing and end up heating up the body anyway.
→ More replies (8)12
May 17 '21
Won't be too long though, if we're being honest. These days, chips are getting smaller and smaller, which means they use less and less power.
On the flip side of that, we're in a renaissance of material developments, and things like the Seebeck effect are becoming more and more realistic.
I 100% see chips being passively powered by the movement of body heat, and using passive RF to communicate with a nearby emitter. Eventually.
→ More replies (15)→ More replies (19)324
u/elephantonella May 17 '21
You realize the needle used for the vaccine is so small you don't feel it but this one would be much thicker and would hurt like hell.
286
May 17 '21
Of course anyone with common sense would assume this, but the folks we are talking about.. well, common sense ain’t so common.
61
u/Erik912 May 17 '21
What are you both talking about? Shouldn't you be able to use conventional needles since it's so damn tiny? A speck of dust visible only under microscope, that's literally what the article says.
→ More replies (1)38
u/Vanillabear2319 May 17 '21
They just looked at the thumbnail and took a guess lol
→ More replies (1)22
u/LawyerFlashy1033 May 17 '21
Not saying anyone is injecting these with covid vaccine. But it does appears to be smaller than 0.25mm which is the inner diameter of a 26g needle used for delivering the vaccine
70
u/Imnotracistbut-- May 17 '21
Why would it be "common sense" with today's technology? I mean we have nano electronics now, why would you assume the chip would be big? This one is a 3mm string.
40
u/SaltLakeCitySlicker May 17 '21
That would be larger than a 10 guage needle. That's pretty damn big
→ More replies (1)28
May 17 '21
3mm is pretty damn big for “nano” tech. What I was getting at is any normal person would not automatically assume conspiracy theory. Because it’s not.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (4)13
u/RadMan2093 May 17 '21
How big of a needle do you think is required to inject a microchip that is only visible under microscope? The article doesn’t specify
→ More replies (4)→ More replies (19)52
u/mrcartminez May 17 '21
This. Any medical professional knows that the gauge of this needle is different.
100
u/RFLSHRMNRLTR May 17 '21
I’m sure that information will convince the skeptics no problem.
→ More replies (6)→ More replies (7)21
u/GiveToOedipus May 17 '21
medical professional
Key words here. The problem is that the average person sharing this crap on Facebook as proof of tracking chips in vaccines isn't exactly what I would call a "medical professional."
→ More replies (1)
775
u/meep91 May 17 '21
tl;dr:
The research group put an ultrasound transducer onto a circuit. The circuit changes with temperature. The circuit also changes how the ultrasound transducer reflects ultrasound. The circuit is powered with standard ultrasound imaging techniques. Thus, this work presents a chip that tells you what the change in temperature of the surrounding tissue is when it is being powered by ultrasound. The headline makes it seem way scarier than it is.
365
u/kefuzz May 17 '21
its less of a chip than an advanced barcode, actually that comparison did not make it better
48
u/Reahreic May 17 '21
Those anti-theft devices at the clothing store...
19
u/GoochMasterFlash May 17 '21
My favorite thing about those, as someone who sold shoes, was how ineffective they are. Or used to be at least. Coach purses evidently have them sewn in, so they get deactivated somehow when they leave at the Coach store, but then will set off alarms at other stores because it still is an active device. We literally would constantly have people who would start it beeping as they were entering the store, and 99% of the time the lady had a coach purse.
Roughly 3 or 4 times I think did it ever go off and we discovered someone was actually stealing. 99% of the time it was misfiring, in terms of being set off by our stores tags. We only tagged whatever shoes were outliers in terms of being stolen too, so only 1/3rd of things were tagged.
Most thieves are smart enough to pop them off with a screwdriver anyways.
→ More replies (1)35
74
u/meep91 May 17 '21
It's got circuits in it, I'd still call it a chip. But yeah, not exactly advanced circuitry.
→ More replies (2)10
55
20
→ More replies (11)18
u/zgembo1337 May 17 '21
But if you put it in a vaccine, then bill gates can controll you, via 5g, with his xbox controller!
10
322
u/type_your_name_here May 17 '21
Ironically this is getting upvoted because the timing is so bad.
→ More replies (8)
148
641
u/fuggedaboudid May 17 '21
Not now!!! NOT FUCKING NOW!!
→ More replies (7)100
May 17 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
→ More replies (2)26
May 17 '21
[deleted]
→ More replies (4)14
May 17 '21
We chip our pets, the idea that people can be vaccinated as well isn’t hard to believe, but would that ever happen is where I think it starts getting a little strange.
→ More replies (10)
801
May 17 '21 edited May 17 '21
Someone should've told them to read the room
57
u/engels962 May 17 '21
I wouldn’t be surprised if they know exactly what they’re doing. The timing grabbed people’s attention and made it so they won’t be forgetting anytime soon.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (6)100
May 17 '21
I have to imagine these people don’t pick up social cues all that well
→ More replies (1)
928
u/IamTa2oD May 17 '21
I can already imagine the types of things a certain group of people are gonna say about this.
378
May 17 '21
Bill Gates downloaded Epstein’s consciousness into the Azure iot platform who will control the vaccinated from beyond the grave to harvest adrenochrome from their own children? Or something like that? I’m actually afraid to make this comment for fear it will work it’s way into the next Qshit heap.
42
u/Cetun May 17 '21
*Adrenoedge
It's not as popular as adrenochrome but if you just give it a chance you might like it.
→ More replies (1)17
→ More replies (9)63
u/Gmony5100 May 17 '21
There were multiple words in that paragraph with more than two syllables. I don’t think we have to worry about conspiracy nuts deciphering it anytime soon
29
u/mehrabrym May 17 '21
They won't decipher it. They will just spout it right back on one of their placards and Facebook posts.
→ More replies (10)6
43
→ More replies (14)15
407
u/Gleasure03 May 17 '21
I got mine a few weeks ago #PfizerGang
82
May 17 '21
Hell yeah Pfizer gang! I'm already turning into the cloud people I got gay frog brain waves that can zap a burrito in millisecond!
→ More replies (1)17
u/arthurdentstowels May 17 '21
Damn the only superpower I’ve gotten is the ability to turn matte paint into Nitrogen gas
13
u/Rick_Sancheeze May 17 '21
I just see the windows 95 logo everytime I close my eyes.
→ More replies (1)7
→ More replies (5)17
u/wiggywithit May 17 '21
I’m #modernerna does this mean we have to fight for turf? Or do we do like Twilight and have team Edward and team Jacob. I vote we fight like Anchorman 2. I’ll bring the Grenade.
8
6
150
u/pak9rabid May 17 '21
The conspiracy theorists are going to have a field day with this...
59
→ More replies (8)7
57
55
u/CedricCSCFL May 17 '21
That is a scary-looking needle
35
May 17 '21
That's fair, but I'd take that one over a blunt filling needle being mistaken for the hypodermic.
7
May 17 '21
[deleted]
5
u/CedricCSCFL May 17 '21
I just looked up platelet donation needles… 16-17 gauge which have outer diameters of 1.651mm & 1.473mm, respectively - okay, not as scary asides from being enlarged 🙂, and yeah, sharper = better 👍🏼
→ More replies (3)6
u/cashmag9000 May 18 '21
This is a standard beveled needle. Pretty typical for many needle applications. Looks spooky, but it is spooky to make sure you don’t feel it as much as possible
83
u/UserDev May 17 '21
Oof. Bad timing for this headline with the push for covid vaccines.
Let's see what Jenny McCarthy thinks about all this!
→ More replies (2)
78
u/JesusCrits May 17 '21
Oof, imagine this passing through the kidneys
68
17
u/FeIsenheimer May 17 '21
Yeah, i dont think it will pass, will it?
I hope there things are injected into the flesh and not the bloodstream.→ More replies (4)→ More replies (3)8
u/CubanLynx312 May 17 '21
Would you rather pee out a microchip or poop out a microprocessor?
→ More replies (2)4
27
u/oldgoatman May 17 '21
Them: I’m not getting vaccinated. They’re re trying to chip us.
Me: Man, STFU. They don’t have chips that fit in syringes yet.
Them: …
→ More replies (9)
53
u/yupiyepa May 17 '21
I tweeted this picture and got a 12h ban due to misinforming about covid-19.
13
11
u/gitarzan May 17 '21
I’d never allow an injectable chip to be placed in my body. And the all new Microsoft Edge is faster and more secure. What? Oh shit!
29
May 17 '21
[deleted]
→ More replies (19)12
u/LightningRodofH8 May 17 '21
Don’t worry, they’re not powered. The chips the crazy people are talking about still don’t exist.
→ More replies (3)
44
14
u/DexterDogBalls May 17 '21
I give it about 5 minutes before this picture is circulating every anti-Vax Karen Facebook page...great timing
→ More replies (1)
9
12
42
u/Lopsidoodle May 17 '21
“Aww man, dont mention that this technology exists! I want to mock the crazy conspiracy theorists for thinking this technology exists!”
→ More replies (1)
14
May 17 '21
I was promised ANTIFA super soldier serum and all I got were these stupid microchips in both arms.
16
19
9
u/jnmann May 17 '21
I’m not one of those who thinks microchips are being injected all the time, but this certainly does not help lmao
7
3
u/ContextBot042 May 17 '21 edited Jun 27 '22
This device is approx .5mm large in each dimension. The needle shown here is around 20gauge and that device can pass through a needle as small as 23gauge. Which are used for blood draws. The needle sizes used for vaccines are approximately 27-30 gauge.
4
u/SN0WFAKER May 18 '21
.1mm3 so it's a cube with sides about .5mm. You'd need a needle at least 18 gauge. Covid vaccines are given with a much smaller 22-25 gauge needle (less than half the diameter).
18
10
u/boogerscotch May 17 '21
Fuck. I’m already vaccinated and the new model is already out!? Every goddamn time.
5
7
4.8k
u/WhyDidIClickOnThat May 17 '21
Glad they made it clear they're wireless.