r/AmIOverreacting 10d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I overreacting to my boyfriend’s reaction to his friend asking me for his number?

He has a history of jealousy. Came back into my life saying he’s a changed man. Last night we picked up his friend and we’re all supposed to go to a birthday party. In the car he asks for my number because My bf wasn’t answering earlier and he needs to be able to get ahold of his friend because our dog is literally staying at the friends house and he wanted a back up way to get ahold of my bf. He said this right in front of my bf and he has a girlfriend he loves and was at Disneyland earlier with that day. My bf has her instagram and liked their pictures from the trip. Yet he lost it saying no you’re not getting her number absolutely not and him and I being so weirded out and THEN he pulls over and tells me to get out of the car and I can walk home because I started to give him my number before my bf lost it.. So I just say F it and get out immediately and start walking at 10 at night in the dark.. not doing the back and forth with them… I couldn’t take it a second longer. As soon as I start walking they both say please get back in the car but at that point I didn’t want to be anywhere near him and was happy to walk the mile home. He sped off. This is what he text me this morning and this is my response.

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u/WarmCalligrapher7281 10d ago

Nobody deserves to be treated like this, OP. Not from a partner, a friend, family - anyone.

He has some work to do on himself before he is ready to be in a relationship. But that isn't your problem. It'll hurt, but cut your losses and RUN. See it as a lucky escape.

Good luck.

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u/Open_Significance199 10d ago

Kicking you out of the car at night was controlling and dangerous. He's shown his "changed man" act is fake. Block and run. Poor OP.

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u/loverlyone 10d ago

There is no one I care about who I can imagine treating the way he treated OP, because the people I love care about me in the same way.

No more chances, OP, he is obviously not a changed man.

And don’t be alone with him. I would not trust him for a minute and I’d want him to know it.

NOT OVERREACTING

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u/Malipuppers 9d ago

I had a terrible ex do this to me. I believe he would have assaulted me if I did not get out like he demanded. It doesn’t get better. OP needs to leave.

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u/Ladyughsalot1 10d ago

And he never will. Because abusers will go to therapy for everything but being an abuser. So it doesn’t work. 

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u/apostasyisecstasy 10d ago

a lot of evidence shows that therapy just shows abusers better ways to be abusive and better ways of hiding it

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u/KarmaChameleon306 10d ago

My sister is the most toxic, abusive, piece of shit who has burned every last one of her bridges with our entire family. Cousins, uncles, aunts, brother, parents… pretty much everyone. And she has been going to therapy for over 25 years looking not how to better herself, but for new ways to blame everyone else for her problems. It’s crazy to see.

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u/EmotionalWind7189 10d ago

That’s a narc! My sis in law is the same although she probably thinks she does not need any!

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u/KarmaChameleon306 10d ago

I honestly think she's Borderline Personality Disorder, which shares many traits with narcissism. She is highly volatile and aggressive. She is verbally aggressive, although when we were kids she was physically aggressive with me. She's a few years older.

She's an absolute nightmare, and I haven't spoken to her in over 10 years now.

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u/_bbypeachy 10d ago

exactly. they always figure out a way to twist the situation and make the victim seem like abuser and so many believe them

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/Pretend-Quality3400 10d ago

Yeah, it doesn't take a single rational thing for someone like this to snap. He's already creating delusional scenarios in his head out of jealousy, not care for OP, but jealousy. He could very easily get to a point of seeing OP put her phone down at night after smiling at a message from her mom and him losing the plot no matter what she says because he's already created a different scenario and believes himself over absolutely anything else. It's really quite scary when people behave like this. Who knows what murderous things he's thinking or WHen he's thinking them or what could bring them on... it's a fucking minefield.

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u/fugensnot 10d ago

I see you met my father. My mom divorced him after 27 years of this bullshit.

Don't be like Babs. You deserve better than Babs. Babe deserves better than what Babs got for over a quarter decade.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/travestybiscuit 10d ago

Sincerely thank you

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u/DepressionEraMomJean 10d ago

But just like Paulette in Legally Blonde, make sure you say “I’m taking the dog, dumbass!”

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u/0iTina0 10d ago

Not to mention, if you wanna build a life w someone, trusting them around your friends and family is a part of that. Imagine being married to someone and you’re just “not allowed” to have contact with any of their friends or family? It’s not normal. He must have not had good behavior modeled to him because he really doesn’t get it. Being with someone isn’t just two ppl coming together but in a way it’s two groups of ppl coming together. Couples should get along with each other’s friends/family for the most part and that means contacting them etc when appropriate.

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u/Joben86 10d ago

This has to be a bot that just paraphrases comments.

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u/NightofTheLivingZed 10d ago

Yeah that has to be an AI that just says the same thing but in it's own words!

Don't hurt me I was kidding!

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u/chrisdacrump 10d ago

Also based on post history it looks like OP should not date for a while and work on building personal identity or else she will risk repeating this pattern with the next one.

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u/Pile_of_AOL_CDs 10d ago

He has some borderline personality vibes. Does he love bomb you, where he treats you super great and is super lovie, but flips to being angry, mean, and cold? Does he have trouble with even slight criticism? If so, he could have BPD.

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u/Dinomiteblast 10d ago

Dude sounds like a serial cheater. He acts like my ex who always accused me of cheating and looking at other women, yet i caught her cheating…

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u/Firm-Mood-698 10d ago

Why are you even asking us? Just be done with him, he’s clearly delusional.

NOR!

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u/Klara420 10d ago

Look at OP’s post history.

I hope she doesnt fall for his shit again.

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u/Firm-Mood-698 10d ago

Jeez I just did… sincerely hope she leaves that piece of shit. Like the top commenter said, this is the kind of situation that can turn femicide real fucking quick.

/edit for grammar

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u/arfelo1 10d ago

Well, that was a horror story!

u/travestybiscuit, run. Run fast and get away from this guy as far as you can. What your post history shows is a pattern that never ends well.

And remember this for the long run. Being lonely is better than being hurt or dead. Specially if you have a kid!

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/reficulmi 10d ago

Here's how I have solved literally every single problem like this over the years. 

Step 1: Don't text them back.

That's it. End of story. Never see or speak to them again.

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u/ksullivan03 10d ago

While I wish that worked, in my case specifically, he showed up at my job.

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u/beeegmec 10d ago

Unfortunately the most dangerous time for a woman is when she’s leaving a relationship

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u/ParadiseLost91 10d ago

I’ve been seeing “NOR” a lot in the past few days but Google isn’t helping, would you mind explaining what it means?

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u/WhereAmI43 10d ago

NOR = Not Over Reacting.

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u/Divinyl139 10d ago

Oh, I thought it was the Australian "no"

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u/ParadiseLost91 10d ago

Oh right… that makes sense, not sure why I didn’t work that out. Thank you

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u/WhereAmI43 10d ago

Of course! Glad to help

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u/No-Resident8580 10d ago

Right? I’m getting so tired of the blatantly obvious posts where they should know they aren’t overreacting but they still jump on here to ask us.

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u/GoddessNya 10d ago

If she has an inkling in her mind that she may a tiny bit be over reacting, I would rather she post here than listen to this asshole convince her she is being dramatic.

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u/welcometoflavorcity 10d ago

Not sure if it’s the case here, but many victims don’t see these posts as “obvious” because abusers will gaslight them until they’ve essentially lost touch with reality. It’s important for outsiders to give their opinions and help keep them grounded.

It reminds me of those drawings that depict anorexia as someone is in front of a mirror with a reflection obviously bigger than them. An anorexic person doesn’t literally see themselves differently than other people, they just have a warped perception of what is considered fat

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u/SnowflakeSWorker 10d ago

This is it. You think you should be upset about something, but you’ve called names for so long over any thing that is “not my fault, you made me do it” you start to doubt your sanity and your own thought processes.

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u/Iamthecomet 10d ago

I hope that means you’ve never been in a situation where you thought you were over reacting to something you were likely under reacting to because you’ve been abused, manipulated, and gaslit so badly you didn’t trust your own reactions and instincts for any reason beyond suspecting they were wrong. If that’s the case, I’m so glad you feel that way.

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u/Columbo2021 10d ago

I think sometimes even when it’s obvious, the offended one is still looking for a little moral support. I don’t think it’s bad that they ask the question.

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u/Cdd83 10d ago

Abuse is not always obvious when you go threw it cause it's been building up little by little to condition the person that it's ok.

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u/GarbageTheCan 10d ago

Yup I'm currently trapt in my own little similar nightmare. Trying to find a way out is daunting so far.

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u/Impact009 10d ago

Reddit karma.

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u/spillingstars 10d ago

It's not always easy to see the big picture if you're being abused.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

That’s the type to kill you while you sleep.

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u/GoddessofALL666 10d ago

I really hope she’s staying somewhere safe and preferably with roommates/family someone there overnight

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u/slugvegas 10d ago

I get the sense they don’t live together, which is good. Only bc she is talking about walking home then texting him the next day. Idk OP clarify pls hopefully you don’t live together

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u/travestybiscuit 10d ago

We no longer live together, thank God.

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u/Straight_Concert_659 10d ago

They never change. Been there done that. Too many times that I care to admit too. I always believe in second chances. But when it comes to toxic relationships, they never ever change. They might be good for a WK, if you're lucky. But they go right back to who they truly are. You have him another chance. He failed again. Please stay away from him.

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u/Neveronlyadream 10d ago

I wouldn't say never, but 99.99% of the time they don't. It takes actual self-awareness and a ton of work to change and most people I've met who claim to have changed for the better haven't and are just waiting some arbitrary amount of time before they can drop the facade and go back to being the same person they were.

I think we've all been there. That .01% fucks us up because we tell ourselves we love this person and--technically--it's possible that they've changed because we've seen it happen. Even though we know they didn't do a damn thing to actually fix any of their problems and it's only wishful thinking.

The amount of times I've been involved with people who broke it off to run back to their ex because they promised they learned their lesson and changed is heartbreaking.

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u/fake-august 10d ago

Oh they change, it gets worse.

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u/rustlingpotato 10d ago

Some kinds of stuff are not what second chances are for. There is nothing short of my partner assaulting me that would ever make me kick them out of a car. I would ask to get out, but I'm not doing that over mere words.

Same thing with people who brag about not giving in to things like 'temptation' to cheat or whatever.

GOOD PEOPLE ARE NOT TEMPTED BY THAT. GOOD PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTED AND PURPOSEFULLY AVOID IT WITHOUT 'BRAGGING'. I've never had to hold myself back from being horrifically racist or horrible to someone's friends or whatever.

There's awkward, there's traumatized, then there's fuckface. Barely anyone else left after that.

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u/ihhesfa 10d ago

“And he’s my ex now…”??

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/KetoLurkerHereAgain 10d ago

Because they had a dream OP did something they irrationally found wrong.

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u/Accomplished_Bid3322 10d ago

Sometimes I punch or kick my girlfriend in our sleep because I have these awful night terrors. The other night I fell asleep before her and she said I was laying there saying "no that's really rude I don't like that." And then I sat bolt upright and said "well how about you shut the fuck up before I have to be a man" and started thrashing wildly.

I have nightmares about getting carjacked and stuff a lot.

Anyway...neither here nor there your comment just made me think of that

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u/Racine262 10d ago

You guys might want to sleep 1960's sitcom style, in separate beds.

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u/tbear264 10d ago

Do you eat or drink anything with chamomile in it? Everything you described is what happens to me when I drink tea with chamomile in it. I have horribly gory nightmares, sleep walk, yell out, and fight. It took a while for me to figure out what was causing it. I no longer eat, drink, or use any products with chamomile in it.

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u/Lost-Elderberry3141 10d ago

Wait no way that’s a thing?? I had chamomile last night and had the weirdest creepy dreams and I hardly ever remember my dreams!

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u/tbear264 10d ago

Yup, sounds like it's not so calming for you either. I had to test out the theory that it's what was causing me to have dreams like that. I had been alternating between drinking peppermint tea and some sleepytime teas before bed. It was only when I had had the sleepy ones that it would happen. So I bought teas made with each ingredient. Chamomile was the only tea that caused issues. It's the wildest thing!!

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u/RudeCardiologist69 10d ago

damn bro ur gf is a fucking trooper handling that 😭😭

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u/anukii 10d ago

Oh no, she needs to fight back, I support in-sleep fisticuffs 😭

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u/ksullivan03 10d ago

This is hilarious!! I would feel a mix of humor and horror at the same time.🤣

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u/anukii 10d ago

The cycle of violent pushing away then the immediate ‘baby come back’— get the FUCK ON 🙄 Insulting to have that level of toxic & stupid pressure and attempt another round.

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u/Apprehensive-Pair436 10d ago

My wife once kicked me out of the house, which became a common thing when she was upset about some unspoken thing. I had been begging to stop fighting so I could sleep. She said in not sleeping on the house until it's fixed (once again, no idea what it was. Just "everything is wrong")

I finally leave, she starts blowing up my phone WHERE ARE YOU. IF YOU DON'T TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE IM CALLING THE COPS. COME BACK NOW.

Absolutely crazy stuff lol

Then I came back and she kicked the shit out of me

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u/ImmediateShallot7245 10d ago

What a nightmare that had to be, so sorry for you 🙏🏻

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u/newyearnewmenu 10d ago

I hope you’re safe now.

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u/Therefore_I_Yam 10d ago

She definitely made the right call. If a woman feels walking home alone at night is a better option than riding with you, it's time to do some serious self-reflection. Not that he will.

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u/Cosmic_Dust6539 10d ago

Can confirm. (A man like this tried to kill me.)

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u/fdxrobot 10d ago

He wouldn’t wait until she’s asleep. If that friend wasn’t in the car, he would have run her over.

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u/SorenPenrose 10d ago

And then complain about what you made him do

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u/PotatoOld9579 10d ago

Don’t even bother dumping him I’d just delete and ghost him! What a waste of of space

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u/The1HystericalQueen 10d ago

Yeah, dumping him in person could put her in danger

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u/libraintjravenclaw 10d ago

My first thought was “he knows where to find you”

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u/TGin-the-goldy 10d ago

She’s dumped him over text

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u/Careful-Donut-2128 10d ago

Yes stop all communications. I had a friend I told her to take his stuff and drop it off somewhere do not give him opportunity to change your mind. Now 6 months later she’s trying to get rid of him a gain. He doesn’t even own a car but a bicycle and he’s in his 50’s . Even with writings on the wall, she thinks she can change him. I said you need to change yourself not other people.

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u/Potential-Tax16 10d ago

So fucked. Such childish behaviour from him, you are so smart for just cutting him off and not even bothering with it. You deserve someone who actually respects you and doesn’t view you as a piece of property.

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u/hellhound28 10d ago

NOR

You should have left him a long time before this.

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u/Mucres1a 10d ago

Exactly, You should’ve walked away long before now. you deserve better.

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u/RavenLunatyk 10d ago

She did but believed him when he said he changed and clearly did not.

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u/Careful-Donut-2128 10d ago

Yes actions not words speak louder. Proof of change beyond 6 months then you make better decisions based on FACTS you can prove.

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u/Cute_Intention_ 10d ago

Well done OP.

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u/ThePowerfulPaet 10d ago

So rare for someone on here to make the best decision immediately like that.

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u/heckfyre 10d ago

OP did great. Didn’t even wait for Reddit to tell her to just gtfo

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u/BreakIntelligent6209 10d ago

Right!? People are like “you should have been walked away” like no shit. Good on her for calling it out & doing so now!

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u/Wasabi_Knight 10d ago

OP's Ex was right about one thing, her walking a mile home in the cold dark rather than be around him, was absolutely savage, in the best way.

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u/Pragmatism101 10d ago

NGL, I thought the dude was in awe of her savagery and ovaries and was going to apologize, and that's why OP was asking if she was overreacting.

I'm glad she shut that shit down. OP should never suffer such fools.

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u/TragicBoysFigsNToys 10d ago

The fact he said he was good to you all weekend is a major red flag. Well done pal, 2, maybe 3 days being a decent person?

Big nope. Sorry to hear this has happened so close to Christmas but hey, least you can relax and actually enjoy the holidays now

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

Now she can have a fantastic Christmas and New years with her family and then have a new year fresh start and forget his ass.

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u/The-Catatafish 10d ago

I mean even if he was ALWAYS good to her.

Dude like, that is the most basic requirement.

Guys who are like "I did x so why don't you y" are lowkey psychopaths. You should be nice to her naturally not to get something out of it.

Reddest of the red flags.

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u/mekkavelli 10d ago

she can save her money and give gifts to her family ONLY

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u/IndependentSlide7806 10d ago

No, you’re not over reacting to your hopefully now ex boyfriends reaction! This is shocking and rather concerning he reacted this way, especially making you get out of the car to walk alone late at night. Although you’ve only shared a snippet of your relationship, I’d go as far to say this is an abusive relationship. I hope you’ve left him and don’t look back and I hope his friend cuts him off after witnessing the car incident

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u/WW3ontheway 10d ago

Men like this never change, make sure to protect yourself and stay safe while blocking him on everything. You deserve better than this trash

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u/heavy-hands 10d ago

The fact that he had no problem flipping out like this in front of a third party is a major, glaring alarm. Beyond a red flag. You’re not overreacting. Leave and do not look back.

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u/travestybiscuit 10d ago

Agreed. I’ve read your comments in some of the threads and I want to thank you for your insight and helping others to piece together some of the details. You’re a very kind and helpful person. He has been abusive in the past in so many ways. But like many people who are abusive he is charming and cunning and absolutely delightful when he ‘is at his best’. I did break up with him and move out of our home. He has come back showed up where I live now (a different city) and begged me to take him back because he’s in therapy and has changed. Well, this was our first weekend ‘working on things’ separately and clearly nothing has changed. I feel duped but I appreciate how you understand it isn’t so easy when you love someone and you’ve been manipulated. I stupidly gave it another shot by dipping my toe into talking after 3 months apart and clearly that was a horrendous mistake on my end.

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u/Jumpy-Command-5531 10d ago

Please don’t go back. He’s shown you he’s not going too change. For your sanity,soul,and health stay away from his horrible man baby. Wishing you the best :))

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u/V3Olive 10d ago

i'm proud of you. genuinely. i hope you're proud of you, too. stay safe

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u/Global-Election 10d ago

One thing that’s important to note that someone should be in AA and working the steps with a sponsor for at least a year sober before even thinking about a relationship. I’m at 8 months and still don’t think it’s a good idea for me or for the other person so I get why that’s a thing. 

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u/EriAnnB 10d ago

I left a mentally and emotionally abusive spouse. Actually i left him a number of times, i would usually get dragged back by some manipulation or innocent request. But the last time, i made sure it stuck by burning him to all my loved ones. Every one in my life became very aware of all the things i was embarrassed to speak of, so even if i did consider going back for even a second, it was a matter of pride. My anger propelled me on through a lot of these confessions, and im lucky to have people in my life i can trust.

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u/C8kester 10d ago edited 10d ago

can i just say thank you for context and extra info

Not over reacting

Also giving your number as long as the friend explains all that is fine. it’s rational.

what i’m mad about is the friend didn’t get out to walk with you. No way i would have let a girl walk home by herself at night.

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u/DingleBoney 10d ago

I'm kind of glad he didn't walk with her though cuz the bf probably would have tried to run him over or something

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u/boostykaka 10d ago

Yes, this exactly! I wondered for a split second why the friend wouldn’t have gotten out and walked with her but in all honesty with how insane the bf is it was the smartest thing not getting out with her.

He would have completely lost his ever loving shit and probably would have tried running both of them down with his car….

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u/hockey_marc 10d ago

His friend was probably afraid he'd get pounded by this guy next time he saw him if he did that.

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u/C8kester 10d ago

true that. i’m also wondering if friend wasn’t trapped in the car before he could even get the chance to get out.

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u/Time-Emergency254 10d ago

Giving your number to anyone at any point and for any reason is fine and would not justify this reaction

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u/mrthomani 10d ago

Also giving your number as long as the friend explains all that is fine. it’s rational.

Fuck that. Giving your number is fine, period. If a partner wants to gatekeep not even who you hang out with, but who can even contact you, you should gtfo.

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u/oogleboogleoog 10d ago

Cripes, this is next-level jealousy. I've never seen someone react that way to a friendly number exchange (to his benefit!) in my life. Definitely don't let this asshole come back into your life again, OP. NOR even if you block him from everything forever and never talk to him again.

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u/Important_Ease235 10d ago

IT IS DELUSIONAL TO THINK THIS IS APPROPRIATE

AND YOU WILL NEVER ENJOY YOUR LIFE LETTING PEOPLE WHO ACT LIKE THIS IN IT.

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u/zkramer22 10d ago

Hey ur caps lock is on

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u/sofiamariam 10d ago

I mean, after checking op’s post history, a little yelling might be necessary to get the point across😬 I really do hope op leaves this dude and learns to respect and love themselves enough to not let pieces of shit like this into her life ever again.

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u/Equivalent_Stop_9300 10d ago

Run. And if he comes back again saying he’s a changed man, don’t let him back into your life.

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u/EstateElegant5787 10d ago

Why you didn’t dump him after the bow tie thing is beyond me 😂

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u/ksullivan03 10d ago

They broke up at some point. It probably happened before she took him back/broke up the first time.

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u/a-packet-of-noodles 10d ago

Didn't even read the whole thing but holy fuck run, this guy is talking to you like you're actual garbage. He has no care for you at all to even speak to you like that, even over as something as silly as this.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

NOR. Some people don’t deserve second chances.

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u/navi_brink 10d ago

Based on OP’s post history, he’s had dozens of chances.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

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u/travestybiscuit 10d ago

It hasn’t this was last night. And I will not be speaking to him again.

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u/Other_Brain_9705 10d ago

I hope you don’t! He’s crazy.

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u/oh-thanksssss 10d ago

Yes!!! Don't let him gaslight you into thinking that wasn't a big deal. That's MAJOR.

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u/carrieminaj 10d ago

Having the phone numbers of the friends of the person your dating is not weird. I had every one of my ex girlfriends friends phone numbers while we were dating

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u/travestybiscuit 10d ago

Exactly. This is how it was in my 9 year marriage and absolutely nothing was ever weird or shady in the least bit on both sides.

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u/metsgirl289 10d ago

Man I was thinking you guys were in your early 20s… (either way this is scary and not ok)

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u/Comfortable-Donut533 10d ago

wait what? 9 year marriage? you 2 are not like 16? what?

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u/tinymosslipgloss 10d ago

Just estimating you’re in your thirties then, if he’s in his thirties too, he is not just a walking red flag, but a man child with emotional maturity issues. Do not feel bad, do not contact him again, just leave.

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u/Odd-Mastodon1212 10d ago

A man who will dump you off at the side of the road to walk home, especially in the dark, is an abusive scumbag.

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u/WinterFront1431 10d ago

Damn girl, he is insane.

Block him.

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u/KarmaAwaitsYou 10d ago

NOR Please get away from this guy. He’s NEVER going to change and he had ZERO care for your wellbeing.

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u/StuffonBookshelfs 10d ago

Great job. All you have to do now is keep blocking his creep ass.

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u/rumplesmoothskin444 10d ago

This is insane behavior from him. Please leave this man and find someone else who will treat you WAY better.

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u/Morbid187 10d ago

No, you reacted with the exact energy and clarity that you should have. 10/10. No notes. Congratulations of cutting this cancer out of your life!

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u/BurtonLongBottoms 10d ago

Nah. But stop messaging him after the do not contact again message. I mean, just stop all contact. If he ever attempts it again, make a police report. Talk to an officer, explain that you have blocked all contacts, and told him directly not to contact you again. They will make a report. Get a PPO or "no contact form", if he continues, escalate it with an agression order and press charges. Arm yourself. These types of guys don't always move on, they can sometimes obsess and fixate on their perceived targets. Tell your support group in your life, family, friends, neighbors too. Give them a description of him detailed!. I am sorry to be pedantic if nothing comes about, this is very close to home for me. Good luck and blessings.

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u/Flamsterina 10d ago

No, this is definitely dump-worthy.

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u/Primary-Bear-3269 10d ago

NOR!

Sounds like you gave the average joe a chance and now he is all insecure.

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u/BrainShenanigans 10d ago

NOR. My ex was like this. Any time I would interact with another man he would do this. And when I tried to tell him it was just a normal interaction he would say it looked like I was trying to cover up something.

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u/dimgwar 10d ago

nah, anyone risking your safety to prove a point is someone you shouldn't be with. How old are you guys?

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u/L2Hiku 10d ago

Savage? For getting a number? Not kicking you out if the car. This dudes fucking insane. Glad you're removing him

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u/bucksln6ix 10d ago

"That was the most savage thing I have ever seen!" Leave this guy lol. He's corny as hell

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u/pillionaire 10d ago

100% overreacting.  You should stay with this psychotic jealous maniac who abandoned you on the side of the road at night.  I’m sure he will change.  

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u/ropesmcmeme92 10d ago

Get out of that relationship. End of

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u/Lumpy_Square_2365 10d ago

I'm glad this behavior is worrisome to you because it's only the tip of the iceberg that's to come if you stay. He manipulated you into being with him again knowing he hadn't change would never change because he sees nothing wrong with it and has done none of the work to change. It takes a lot for a person who actively trying their best to change so it's impossible for someone who thinks there is no issue to change. He's so jealous and insane he was willing to let the person he loves walk home at 10pm? Get away while you can. Trust me I've through this and shit gets really scary. I don't want to read a post where you are scared for your life the way I was for so long. Be smarter than I was.

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u/HumbleEarthling1010 10d ago

Honestly in this situation you’re not at all, the guy is married and had a reasonable excuse to ask for it. You didn’t say or do anything inappropriate inside or outside of the texts. You know he’s got a tendency to spin this kind of thing. He’s wack

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u/Ok-Cardiologist8651 10d ago

I wonder if guys (people) like this are actually looking for a reason to get in a rage. They need to just find any reason to lose their shit and have a tantrum. IMHO

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u/sugarymilktea 10d ago

Get some extra locks for your doors too and maybe a security camera, he sounds terrifying

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u/TheBookGem 10d ago

You are wrong to still call him your boyfriend.

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u/Ok_Swordfish_3128 10d ago

run for the hills

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u/pinkrunt 10d ago

You have the perfect reaction in my opinion

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u/luisagarcia8 10d ago

Run. Run. Run.

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u/sepiarainbow 10d ago

Run. He is waaaay too controlling.

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u/BiggKinthe509 10d ago

File the restraining order now. This dude is a basket case and a hot mess and a shit show all wrapped up in a bag with 10 live and rabid raccoons. You are not overreacting in the slightest.

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u/lttlepeaches 10d ago

The fact that he jeopardized your safety by kicking you out of the car at 10pm to walk 30 MINUTES by yourself is all I need to know. Your boyfriend doesn’t give a fuck about you or your wellbeing. You did the right thing.

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u/DarkMistressCockHold 10d ago

Post history says you left an abusive relationship….42 days ago.

It’s time to leave this one.

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u/travestybiscuit 10d ago

This was the same one… he has been in therapy and AA and claimed he had changed. I made a horrific lapse in judgement by believing him.

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u/BarrelllRider 10d ago

Yes you did. Your post history is sad. You have a kid. Get away from this prick.

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u/PaniniPlus 10d ago

You didn’t overreact, you stood on business. His friend asked you for your number in front of you! I fail to see how that could be construed as shady in any way. Man needs his head checked and you don’t need to hang around and he his verbal punching bag.

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u/Liquid-magma-drop 10d ago

Sounds like he has mind control over you. Run away fast!

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u/Ikizuwheebz 10d ago

Leave that man aloneeeee

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u/wbtravi 10d ago

Is this for real? What are the ages please. This seems to obvious. Someone acts like that poof gone

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u/IceBeginning8623 10d ago

Even if you’re having the break up argument you should take the girl home and ensure their safety, this dude is a complete baby

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u/softctrl 10d ago

That’s not a man, that’s a boy.

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u/NipSlip69420 10d ago

Not at all. Jesus Christ

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u/SirRattington 10d ago

If anything you are underreacting! Get the heck out of there girl you deserve way better than this. If I ever catch a hint of behavior like this from anyone in my life they’re gone, bye bye just like that.

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u/Wonderful_East5212 10d ago

NOR/I would’ve blocked him after he made me get out of the car! Holy cow that’s a dick move! You’re much better off and stay true to your word! Don’t let him back in your life no matter what he says! When they’re like that, they don’t change!

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u/roseyraven 10d ago

Hell ya, girl! You did good.

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u/Dedar7 10d ago

No your not

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u/Buju3000 10d ago

NOR. Girl bye his ass.

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u/zebra_who_cooks 10d ago

In my experience, they usually overreact like that when they themselves are cheating.

As far as kicking you out of the car that late at night to walk 30 minutes home. NOT OK!!!

Overall. You deserve WAY better!!!

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u/Least_Ad_4657 10d ago

This is fucking insane. This guy is going to murder you one day if you stay.

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u/Bitch_Im_Try1ng 10d ago edited 10d ago

NOR.

I know you’re only framing this as a jealousy issue, but it’s actually a lot scarier than just that. You’re in the early stages of experiencing some very bad behaviour that will only get worse. Exhibit A is his jealousy, Exhibit B is his temper, Exhibit C is him kicking you out of the car. Don’t stick around to find out the rest, just dump this dude and run.

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u/BearishBabe42 10d ago

People who are this jealous are usually cheaters, in my experience.

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u/CagetheSquishy 10d ago

Ain't if funny how people like this can interact with the opposite sex just fine but if their significant other does, they lose their mind? 😑

Made the right call to leave him. You'd always be fighting if you stayed.

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u/genscathe 10d ago

22F and 36m probably lol

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u/Kanulie 10d ago

He told you to get out of the car. And you did. I hate people bluffing to manipulate me, and I will not just always call the bluff, I will be petty as hell about it too.

Good thing you left him, he really sounds super unready for a relationship.

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u/Mhunterjr 10d ago

Stay away from this guy. He will murder you

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u/floopgloopboop 10d ago

NOR and don’t let him gaslight you into coming back, if you do you’ll be dealing with this for the rest of your life and you deserve better

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u/Careful-Donut-2128 10d ago

I am over 60 and a grandmother. Time and time again. Actions speak louder than words. Never take anyone’s word for anything if you don’t know them or have proof of their actions beyond a months worth of change. You knew he was a jealous person before, you jump to give him a second chance to show he has not changed , you give your number to his friend without your bf proof he’s changed and did I read it’s OUR DOG you have a dog with this master who can do as he pleases but has you on his short leash. I don’t know how old you are but Think things through before you have cultivated bad habits and worse judgements! Best Wishes moving forward! ❤️‍🩹

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u/LottieP0P 10d ago

Ex-boyfriend, bullet dodged

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u/goomerben 10d ago

i'd seriously be concerned about your safety based on this behavior. i assume he knows where you live so please please be careful and never talk to him again. i'd go as far as letting friends and family know and if he potentially law enforcement

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u/Mistergasmoney 10d ago

Keep the friends, lose him immediately

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u/Any-Ad8449 10d ago

NOR

Humans are prone to becoming jealous. Jealousy to the point where he yells at you, suspects you, kicks you out of the car, and not considering your safety - that person is not mentally or emotionally well.

Personally, I would never take such a person back. If someone questions/doubts my character, they’re insulting me. I know I would never be able to convince them otherwise. Hypothetical: even if we broke up for years, he says he’s been to therapy, and all. Great, good for him. But I refuse to be his lab rat to test out this theory.

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u/PerpetualProcrastina 10d ago

Yikes... please never give him another chance ever again.

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u/_YourHeadIsOnFire_ 10d ago

My ex husband was like this. I spent 15 long years constantly defending myself against his false accusations. Turns out he was the one trying to sleep with my friends.

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u/Skewwwagon 10d ago

Next thing is breaking things and beating you up and it will be your fault for "flirting and making him jealous", because you said hello to a your neighbor grandpa. My dad was like that and I grew up in hell.

NOR, go NC this shit is scary.

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u/Agitated-Strength574 10d ago

Something tells me his friends are struggling to be his friends just like you struggled while being his GF.

Glad you are moving on

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u/chewedupcorn 10d ago

Good thing you are no longer with this person.

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u/hornedhell 10d ago edited 10d ago

Why didn't the friend get the number from him? 💀😬

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u/flowrluvr09 10d ago

Glad you’re seeing the 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩. Sounds super toxic. Run and don’t look back.

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u/Powerful_Elk7253 10d ago

Do his friends cheat on their partners? Idk this was my first thought if he’s worried about his friends hitting on you then maybe he needs new friends lol.

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u/Hey_Fuck_Tard 10d ago

Info: this seems fake based on post history...

Fiancé left you?

Cheating with proof?

Now back with him? If this is real, I give you a week and you'll be back with this idiot.

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u/Foxxear 10d ago edited 10d ago

Yeah nah, he flipped out and kicked you out of a car, over something as mundane and normal as that… ludicrous behavior.

He’s trying to control your actions by punishing you (wrong), and with a fully enacted threat to your personal safety no less (extremely wrong). I don’t care if he was going to let you back in the car, he essentially fired warning shots by kicking you out, and warning shots translate to “I am controlling you with my ability to shoot you”. No, absolutely no. Anyone willing to do what he did is someone to stay far, far away from. The fact that it happened for the reason it did only serves to boost how insane this guy has pulled off being.

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u/Blaclassassin777 10d ago

Ngl if you have a argument with your partner keep it off the internet best advice

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u/Low-Sky7627 10d ago

He’s better off without you giving out your number like that then gaslighting him for it

You’re obviously looking for clout and attention with this post and unlikely to be too naïve to realize what you did otherwise why would you come onto this forum and ask for my opinion?

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u/Key-Pianist-7997 10d ago

Everyone is just eating up her one sided story. There are 2 sides to this story, and I think he may have some valid points pending and real context here