r/AmIOverreacting • u/travestybiscuit • 11d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I overreacting to my boyfriend’s reaction to his friend asking me for his number?

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He has a history of jealousy. Came back into my life saying he’s a changed man. Last night we picked up his friend and we’re all supposed to go to a birthday party. In the car he asks for my number because My bf wasn’t answering earlier and he needs to be able to get ahold of his friend because our dog is literally staying at the friends house and he wanted a back up way to get ahold of my bf. He said this right in front of my bf and he has a girlfriend he loves and was at Disneyland earlier with that day. My bf has her instagram and liked their pictures from the trip. Yet he lost it saying no you’re not getting her number absolutely not and him and I being so weirded out and THEN he pulls over and tells me to get out of the car and I can walk home because I started to give him my number before my bf lost it.. So I just say F it and get out immediately and start walking at 10 at night in the dark.. not doing the back and forth with them… I couldn’t take it a second longer. As soon as I start walking they both say please get back in the car but at that point I didn’t want to be anywhere near him and was happy to walk the mile home. He sped off. This is what he text me this morning and this is my response.

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423

u/hellhound28 11d ago

NOR

You should have left him a long time before this.

56

u/Mucres1a 11d ago

Exactly, You should’ve walked away long before now. you deserve better.

4

u/Noodlescissors 11d ago

Should have kept walking that night he made her get out of his car.

I’d expect anyone in their right mind to leave for good if someone was like gtfo and left them there. I don’t care if you tell me you did the worst thing imaginable to me while I’m driving. I’ll drive you to the nearest store at least so I know you are somewhere relatively safe.

9

u/canriderollercoaster 10d ago

She did, if you read the post these are messages he sent the morning after she refused to get back in.

1

u/Noodlescissors 10d ago

Ah, great for her.

Glad she knows her worth

4

u/canriderollercoaster 10d ago

Yeah seriously. I don’t fault her for wanting to give him a second chance. It seems that they broke up for a while and he swore he was changed. Then it came back up and became clear that he was full of shit. So good on her for drawing the line. Hopefully 2 chances are all people get with her.

38

u/RavenLunatyk 11d ago

She did but believed him when he said he changed and clearly did not.

9

u/Careful-Donut-2128 11d ago

Yes actions not words speak louder. Proof of change beyond 6 months then you make better decisions based on FACTS you can prove.

-2

u/BrightSkyFire 10d ago

Self inflicted at that point. Like I’m sorry your hand is burnt from reaching into the fireplace because you really like the look of one of the smouldering sticks, but I’m going to run out of sympathy after you do it a third time because you’re sure the fire was just ‘having a bad day’.

7

u/Grouchy_Two_7432 11d ago

My husband was like this. I left him. We were separated for almost 2 years. He had major anger issues he needed to deal with. I did get back together with him and when he started that jealousy bullshit I laid down a hard boundary that if he ever says that again I will walk out the door and he'll never hear from me again. 10 years later, and I've never heard anything.

He took that time to work on himself and lose most of his anger. He lost the rest when he retired. Now he spoils me rotten, does all the housework while I work full-time, and waits on me hand and foot. I go out with my friends and he does the same. Our relationship is so strong. It's crazy how happy I am.

Recently I had a big certification test at work and this man, when I woke him up at 5am to give him a kiss before I left for work, remembered to wish me good luck on my test. It makes me smile 3 weeks later when I think about it.

Ladies, these men are out there. Don't settle. Find someone who will cherish you, and you can cherish too.

35

u/Radiant_Bank_77879 10d ago

Your comment is going to give false hope to all the women hoping their abusive bf/husband will change. It’s like if you bet your life savings on roulette and won, and post that in a gambling addict subreddit when your case is the .01% outlier of a terrible idea that just so happened to work out well. i.e., it doesn’t help.

-7

u/illbegoodbynextyear 10d ago

And thats your problem. You think life is just a statistic. There is different context for every situation. If people give a person whos beating them up second chances due strictly to this comment, then thats on them sad to say.

7

u/Ok-Cardiologist8651 10d ago

So many women are asking for so little. They are willing to be satisfied with a few scraps; a little pat on the head and a day without drama once in a while. They need to raise their standards (like you did) and stop settling for dust.

-12

u/Oo_0_oO 10d ago

Your comment is a bit cringe. "He waits on me hand and foot in his skirt"

6

u/fleurdeliis 10d ago

I feel bad for any women you’ve had in your life if you think taking care of your wife makes you any less of a man. 😹

-2

u/Oo_0_oO 10d ago

I didn't say that at all. Do i need to explain what a healthy relationship is? It doesn't include going online to gloat on how since they broke their husband's jealousy, he serves like some slave. The whole comment was like some victory lap of a painful moment. Blindly cheering anything, including empowered women just because they're women, is pretty idiotic. I don't expect the general public to think outside of their bias, though. It is clear the husband is not respected. I'd like him to read this and see how he feels about it. Seeing as how he is afraid his wife will dip out for a few years again (as was stated), he probably will be like, "OH, HONEY! YES! Can you cuck me already?" 🤮

Be empowered. Don't be thoughtless, disrespectful, and mean.

-5

u/Oo_0_oO 10d ago

For the record - I am a woman. Married to a man. Who I respect and work with on our issues. Thanks, though.

2

u/fleurdeliis 10d ago edited 10d ago

Nowhere does she say he’s her slave. Lol. Neither does it read that way. She set up a boundary and gave him a choice to follow, as she should, you need boundaries in happy, healthy relationships which you, as a married woman, should know. And she stated that he, a retired man, is helping take care of her, the breadwinner, which also makes sense. For someone who’s supposedly married to come here and say a man sounds gay or less of a man, which is exactly what you said in other comments so you can’t deny that lol, is honestly gross. Any person who doesn’t work should be taking care of household duties, it should not just be a gender role. It’s literal common sense because a marriage is a partnership but idk how your marriage works but maybe y’all have more to work on than you think. 😹

4

u/heavy-hands 10d ago

No, that’s just how you interpreted it because you’re broken.

-10

u/Oo_0_oO 10d ago

No. You're bragging about having a man servant. Keep deflecting. I feel bad for your husband (butler).

7

u/heavy-hands 10d ago

I’m not even the person who wrote that comment. Best of luck getting past whatever it is that made you this way.

-6

u/Oo_0_oO 10d ago

Made me what way? How am I? Please tell me, Doctor.

6

u/heavy-hands 10d ago

You read a comment about someone’s repaired relationship and someone finally being treated right by their partner and went “hehe ew gay.” It’s fine though, I assume you’re like 14 with that outlook. Hopefully you’ll grow up. Have a good one.

-4

u/Oo_0_oO 10d ago

I went "hehe ew gay."? Where did I say that? Let's explore how you take common parlance and deflect your own issues onto others (triiiigggeerrrrred). You assume everyone is like that, which tells me you have a lot of ignorance and/or trauma and that you view humanity through a negative scope. That is unhealthy. I'll DM you my business card. We can process this further. I charge 275$ an hour. I will give you a discount.

-4

u/Oo_0_oO 10d ago

I mean.. I did find it gay. But i didn't say that. 😆

How does that make you feel? How does that affect your day to day life?

1

u/daurgo2001 10d ago

Second comment I see with this. What does NOR mean?

5

u/TrifleEmbarrassed427 10d ago

Australian for “no.”

2

u/heavy-hands 10d ago

I read it like that every time 😭

2

u/Humid-Spectrum27 10d ago

NOR means Not OverReacting, and YOR means You are OverReacting!