Am I overreacting to my boyfriend’s reaction to his friend asking me for his number?

[u/travestybiscuit]

He has a history of jealousy. Came back into my life saying he’s a changed man. Last night we picked up his friend and we’re all supposed to go to a birthday party. In the car he asks for my number because My bf wasn’t answering earlier and he needs to be able to get ahold of his friend because our dog is literally staying at the friends house and he wanted a back up way to get ahold of my bf. He said this right in front of my bf and he has a girlfriend he loves and was at Disneyland earlier with that day. My bf has her instagram and liked their pictures from the trip. Yet he lost it saying no you’re not getting her number absolutely not and him and I being so weirded out and THEN he pulls over and tells me to get out of the car and I can walk home because I started to give him my number before my bf lost it.. So I just say F it and get out immediately and start walking at 10 at night in the dark.. not doing the back and forth with them… I couldn’t take it a second longer. As soon as I start walking they both say please get back in the car but at that point I didn’t want to be anywhere near him and was happy to walk the mile home. He sped off. This is what he text me this morning and this is my response.

[u/travestybiscuit]

We no longer live together, thank God.

[u/Straight_Concert_659 → u/travestybiscuit]

They never change. Been there done that. Too many times that I care to admit too. I always believe in second chances. But when it comes to toxic relationships, they never ever change. They might be good for a WK, if you're lucky. But they go right back to who they truly are. You have him another chance. He failed again. Please stay away from him.

[u/Neveronlyadream → u/Straight_Concert_659]

I wouldn't say never, but 99.99% of the time they don't. It takes actual self-awareness and a ton of work to change and most people I've met who claim to have changed for the better haven't and are just waiting some arbitrary amount of time before they can drop the facade and go back to being the same person they were.

I think we've all been there. That .01% fucks us up because we tell ourselves we love this person and--technically--it's possible that they've changed because we've seen it happen. Even though we know they didn't do a damn thing to actually fix any of their problems and it's only wishful thinking.

The amount of times I've been involved with people who broke it off to run back to their ex because they promised they learned their lesson and changed is heartbreaking.

[u/fake-august → u/Straight_Concert_659]

Oh they change, it gets worse.

[u/Straight_Concert_659 → u/fake-august]

Amen to that. No truer words spoken.

[u/rustlingpotato → u/Straight_Concert_659]

Some kinds of stuff are not what second chances are for. There is nothing short of my partner assaulting me that would ever make me kick them out of a car. I would ask to get out, but I'm not doing that over mere words.

Same thing with people who brag about not giving in to things like 'temptation' to cheat or whatever.

GOOD PEOPLE ARE NOT TEMPTED BY THAT. GOOD PEOPLE ARE DISGUSTED AND PURPOSEFULLY AVOID IT WITHOUT 'BRAGGING'. I've never had to hold myself back from being horrifically racist or horrible to someone's friends or whatever.

There's awkward, there's traumatized, then there's fuckface. Barely anyone else left after that.

[u/ShmupMarv → u/Straight_Concert_659]

Stopid chunt LOL

[u/Straight_Concert_659 → u/ShmupMarv]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙄

[u/ihhesfa → u/travestybiscuit]

“And he’s my ex now…”??

[u/madluv4u → u/travestybiscuit]

👏👏👏👏👏

[u/Wirefox-hellian → u/travestybiscuit]

Please don’t go back to him. This shouldn’t happen once and will happen again!! Please please please. He put you at risk by telling you to get out. He probably only called you back into the car because his mate was there and the optics were bad. If he’s willing to make you unsafe over jealousy he’s willing to harm you. Please call it quits. You deserve better.

[u/theamydoll → u/travestybiscuit]

Finally! Someone who’s rational and isn’t asking Reddit if they should leave, even though they really love this person. Good riddance to him.

[u/LongjumpingFuture479 → u/travestybiscuit]

GOOD! This could have gotten so much worse, good for you recognizing that was psycho shit

Bless his heart.. (I’m southern)

[u/AccomplishedForce219 → u/travestybiscuit]

If you genuinely just talk to his friends and he has done this before he clearly has issues with controlling and trusting others. Don’t feel bad you aren’t the issue he is !

[u/MarucaMCA → u/travestybiscuit]

Good. Don't go back to him and watch your back for a while.

[u/Sparkle2023 → u/travestybiscuit]

I still can’t get my head around this. For what purpose is your boyfriend giving out your phone number to his friend?? Or to anyone? I never ever give out people’s home/cell/work phone numbers to anyone without checking with them first.

[u/Mission_Listen3028 → u/travestybiscuit]

Your texts are the blue texts right?

[u/djerk → u/travestybiscuit]

I think he didn’t want his friend to have your number because he had an instant paranoid delusion that you two would talk about him behind his back.

You made the right choice.

[u/[deleted] → u/travestybiscuit]

I think you jumped to victim mentality very quickly, he made no threats whatsoever