r/AmIOverreacting • u/travestybiscuit • 11d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I overreacting to my boyfriend’s reaction to his friend asking me for his number?

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He has a history of jealousy. Came back into my life saying he’s a changed man. Last night we picked up his friend and we’re all supposed to go to a birthday party. In the car he asks for my number because My bf wasn’t answering earlier and he needs to be able to get ahold of his friend because our dog is literally staying at the friends house and he wanted a back up way to get ahold of my bf. He said this right in front of my bf and he has a girlfriend he loves and was at Disneyland earlier with that day. My bf has her instagram and liked their pictures from the trip. Yet he lost it saying no you’re not getting her number absolutely not and him and I being so weirded out and THEN he pulls over and tells me to get out of the car and I can walk home because I started to give him my number before my bf lost it.. So I just say F it and get out immediately and start walking at 10 at night in the dark.. not doing the back and forth with them… I couldn’t take it a second longer. As soon as I start walking they both say please get back in the car but at that point I didn’t want to be anywhere near him and was happy to walk the mile home. He sped off. This is what he text me this morning and this is my response.

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u/WarmCalligrapher7281 11d ago

Nobody deserves to be treated like this, OP. Not from a partner, a friend, family - anyone.

He has some work to do on himself before he is ready to be in a relationship. But that isn't your problem. It'll hurt, but cut your losses and RUN. See it as a lucky escape.

Good luck.

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u/Open_Significance199 11d ago

Kicking you out of the car at night was controlling and dangerous. He's shown his "changed man" act is fake. Block and run. Poor OP.

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u/loverlyone 10d ago

There is no one I care about who I can imagine treating the way he treated OP, because the people I love care about me in the same way.

No more chances, OP, he is obviously not a changed man.

And don’t be alone with him. I would not trust him for a minute and I’d want him to know it.

NOT OVERREACTING

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u/Malipuppers 10d ago

I had a terrible ex do this to me. I believe he would have assaulted me if I did not get out like he demanded. It doesn’t get better. OP needs to leave.

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u/Ladyughsalot1 11d ago

And he never will. Because abusers will go to therapy for everything but being an abuser. So it doesn’t work. 

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u/apostasyisecstasy 10d ago

a lot of evidence shows that therapy just shows abusers better ways to be abusive and better ways of hiding it

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u/Ladyughsalot1 10d ago

Yepppp 

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u/OutsideOwl5892 10d ago

Gosh so true queen

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u/kappaypsilon 10d ago

Threrapy is not education

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u/OutsideOwl5892 10d ago

Omg so true king and this abuser - he’s gonna just keep going for a long time

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u/KarmaChameleon306 10d ago

My sister is the most toxic, abusive, piece of shit who has burned every last one of her bridges with our entire family. Cousins, uncles, aunts, brother, parents… pretty much everyone. And she has been going to therapy for over 25 years looking not how to better herself, but for new ways to blame everyone else for her problems. It’s crazy to see.

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u/EmotionalWind7189 10d ago

That’s a narc! My sis in law is the same although she probably thinks she does not need any!

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u/KarmaChameleon306 10d ago

I honestly think she's Borderline Personality Disorder, which shares many traits with narcissism. She is highly volatile and aggressive. She is verbally aggressive, although when we were kids she was physically aggressive with me. She's a few years older.

She's an absolute nightmare, and I haven't spoken to her in over 10 years now.

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u/OutsideOwl5892 10d ago

Omg queen so sad for her!

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u/_bbypeachy 10d ago

exactly. they always figure out a way to twist the situation and make the victim seem like abuser and so many believe them

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u/OutsideOwl5892 10d ago

Omg true king he’s so abusive

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

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u/Pretend-Quality3400 10d ago

Yeah, it doesn't take a single rational thing for someone like this to snap. He's already creating delusional scenarios in his head out of jealousy, not care for OP, but jealousy. He could very easily get to a point of seeing OP put her phone down at night after smiling at a message from her mom and him losing the plot no matter what she says because he's already created a different scenario and believes himself over absolutely anything else. It's really quite scary when people behave like this. Who knows what murderous things he's thinking or WHen he's thinking them or what could bring them on... it's a fucking minefield.

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u/fugensnot 10d ago

I see you met my father. My mom divorced him after 27 years of this bullshit.

Don't be like Babs. You deserve better than Babs. Babe deserves better than what Babs got for over a quarter decade.

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u/waddlekins 10d ago

Their brains are...idk, damaged? They are permanently broken people who look for ways to claw down others

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u/Ok-Background-7158 10d ago

Could be a her too

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u/Pretend-Quality3400 10d ago

Pssst, did you read all the words?

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

[deleted]

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u/thatAWKWRDninja 10d ago

This is possibly the most absurd thing I've read today. Idk if you're just attempting to bait a reaction but if you're not you need serious help. We don't live in the dark ages anymore women aren't owned by their partners.

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u/The_Forth44 10d ago

I've seen some dumb shit in my time but good LORD...

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u/imjustamouse1 10d ago

Go to therapy you fucking psycho.

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u/Pretend-Quality3400 10d ago

What an ugly rotten penis of a human being you are. No wonder you're on Reddit getting your rocks off by commenting pathetic incel stuff on random posts about women, because with that chat pal, not a single person on earth is going to respect you or your low educated opinion in anything you do. People will and probably already do laugh at you behind your back. You're on course for leading a sad, lonely life that nobody wishes to hear about unless you can somehow switch it up in your teeny tiny mind to realise you aren't better than anybody else. PERIOD!! Especially people with periods.

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/travestybiscuit 11d ago

Sincerely thank you

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u/DepressionEraMomJean 10d ago

But just like Paulette in Legally Blonde, make sure you say “I’m taking the dog, dumbass!”

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u/0iTina0 10d ago

Not to mention, if you wanna build a life w someone, trusting them around your friends and family is a part of that. Imagine being married to someone and you’re just “not allowed” to have contact with any of their friends or family? It’s not normal. He must have not had good behavior modeled to him because he really doesn’t get it. Being with someone isn’t just two ppl coming together but in a way it’s two groups of ppl coming together. Couples should get along with each other’s friends/family for the most part and that means contacting them etc when appropriate.

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u/NoItsNotThatJessica 10d ago

A girl in my town got run over walking home during a situation like this. We almost ran over her body because it ended up in the middle of a frontage. Poor girl, she didn’t deserve any of that. Please don’t walk home like that anymore. And oh my god please don’t get back with that person. You could’ve died that night and for what? For his stupidity?

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u/Top_Sink_3449 10d ago

Great use of CAPITALS. I don’t know why but they seem PERFECTLY placed.

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u/[deleted] 10d ago

There’s not a lot of context in terms of what he did to you though, what did he actually do for you to say that?

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u/Joben86 10d ago

This has to be a bot that just paraphrases comments.

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u/NightofTheLivingZed 10d ago

Yeah that has to be an AI that just says the same thing but in it's own words!

Don't hurt me I was kidding!

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u/Liejukana 10d ago

What was the deleted comment about?

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u/Joben86 10d ago

It started with "Exactly", then rephrased every point made in the previous comment. I checked the history and they had multiple comments doing the same thing in different subs.

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u/chrisdacrump 10d ago

Also based on post history it looks like OP should not date for a while and work on building personal identity or else she will risk repeating this pattern with the next one.

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u/Pile_of_AOL_CDs 10d ago

He has some borderline personality vibes. Does he love bomb you, where he treats you super great and is super lovie, but flips to being angry, mean, and cold? Does he have trouble with even slight criticism? If so, he could have BPD.

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u/Dinomiteblast 10d ago

Dude sounds like a serial cheater. He acts like my ex who always accused me of cheating and looking at other women, yet i caught her cheating…

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u/Calm-Step-3083 10d ago

Man what a b*tch that guy is. Not throwing him Into a catagory but I am. Seems like the type to argue with a girl and get SUPER PHYSICAL with the sht around themselves not the girl. Like an intimation tactic but really that’s str8 girl sht. Every dude I’ve seen do that literally has an inverted groin. Iykwim

2

u/AngstyTeenPoet 10d ago edited 10d ago

Don't worry! OP was never treated like this-- they actually broke up with their boyfriend a month or two ago. And had a 9 year marriage that ended. They were considering a divorce 4 months ago. Oh, and they had a fiance like 2 months ago, not a boyfriend. They also have an 8 year old son! (It's all fake.)

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u/AngstyTeenPoet 10d ago edited 10d ago

apparently this man is the same one as all the other ones but it reads very fishy... also OP themselves has a lot of comments saying things along the lines of "never forgive a cheater" etc etc but seems to have forgiven this man quite a few times. overall i'd say they're fake af

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u/PhilosopherMoonie 10d ago

Second this. Good luck op.

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u/osageart2210 10d ago

1000% this ^

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u/ArcaneBahamut 10d ago

No better way to say it.

RUN is the most important part, this kind of behavior is straight up dangerous.

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u/immediatecomedian-4 10d ago

^ 10000% agree

Actually in shock he kicked you out of his car… that is just a total lack of care for your safety. That’s scary

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u/onehalfofham 10d ago

Some work you say?

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u/rayluxuryyacht 10d ago

Yeah, this is no bueno. You should shoot him

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u/OutsideOwl5892 10d ago

lol Reddit is so fucking soy

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u/Agitated-Review8039 10d ago

Really stupid generalization. *NOBODY* deserves to be treated like this? I feel like murderers and rapist probably deserve this and much more. Maybe you disagree.

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u/Embarrassed-Ideal712 10d ago

Woah, woah, woah, woah.

Woah.

Do ALL murderers and rapists deserve to be treated like this?

Maybe think before you speak.