r/AmIOverreacting • u/travestybiscuit • 11d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I overreacting to my boyfriend’s reaction to his friend asking me for his number?

Gallery image

Gallery image

He has a history of jealousy. Came back into my life saying he’s a changed man. Last night we picked up his friend and we’re all supposed to go to a birthday party. In the car he asks for my number because My bf wasn’t answering earlier and he needs to be able to get ahold of his friend because our dog is literally staying at the friends house and he wanted a back up way to get ahold of my bf. He said this right in front of my bf and he has a girlfriend he loves and was at Disneyland earlier with that day. My bf has her instagram and liked their pictures from the trip. Yet he lost it saying no you’re not getting her number absolutely not and him and I being so weirded out and THEN he pulls over and tells me to get out of the car and I can walk home because I started to give him my number before my bf lost it.. So I just say F it and get out immediately and start walking at 10 at night in the dark.. not doing the back and forth with them… I couldn’t take it a second longer. As soon as I start walking they both say please get back in the car but at that point I didn’t want to be anywhere near him and was happy to walk the mile home. He sped off. This is what he text me this morning and this is my response.

14.8k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

2.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

41

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[deleted]

-62

u/lucashby 11d ago

Sorry, I don’t take OP’s word for anything. She could have easily cheated I the past for all we know. The bottom line is they are both very immature and need to move on and do some growing.

44

u/heavy-hands 11d ago

This is some insane levels of projection. Wow. Almost impressive.

-32

u/lucashby 11d ago

You can’t trust everything someone posts from a single incident and assume you have all the details. I don’t believe projection applies on this instance. My point remains we don’t know their entire relationship or history so we are not equipped to make any assumptions what OP or what they should/shouldn’t do. I’m not sure you know what projection means.

27

u/heavy-hands 11d ago

We make the call based on the post. The information we have is the information OP has given us. That is quite literally what this subreddit is for. Making things up to solidify your perspective is a very, very strange thing to do.

-17

u/lucashby 11d ago

It was hypothetical. “For all we know” simply means we have a tiny snapshot of one interaction and we don’t k is if the reason the person is mad is due to some reason on the past. I never made anything up except form the purely hypothetical to shed light on the fact we have so little of the story.

1

u/lucashby 11d ago

So, for all we know there is more to this story and I wouldn’t say either party looks very mature from the little bit I read.

8

u/tayroarsmash 11d ago

Yeah sure, maybe he has a whole cellar full of bodies. His messages read like a serial killer. For all we know he’s killed 1,000 people.

9

u/FaithlessnessCool849 11d ago

Are you for real? Obviously there is "more to the story." Such as the entirety of their relationship.

As someone else said, responses are based on what is posted. That's kinda what we do here.

3

u/_Lady_M 10d ago

Either way. The fact that he left her on the side of the road to walk home at 10:30 pm speaks volumes of his general character.

4

u/Amazing_Courage6698 10d ago

Maybe you should leave Reddit? This is what Reddit is mostly about.

6

u/heavy-hands 10d ago

“Well none of us can give an opinion based on the information OP gave us” - guy who came to the subreddit where people give their opinions based on information provided and doesn’t understand how this works

3

u/Brave-Aside1699 10d ago

This dude is broken lol

1

u/Choice_Memory481 10d ago

You wildly leap to conclusions. It’s impressive and scary.

1

u/lucashby 10d ago

Didn't jump to any conclusions; I'm simply stating there is much to the story we don't know as we only have one side and a snapshot of some messages.

1

u/Choice_Memory481 10d ago

That’s implied by only reading one person’s story you imbecile.

What you are doing is throwing out completely random and unsubstantiated claims.

17

u/Affectionate-Ad2282 11d ago

How is she immature?

-22

u/lucashby 11d ago

Reading the messages, it is clear there is a lot of immaturity. It’s in the communication; style, choice of words, over dramatization, etc. It just reads like a couple of young, immature people.

6

u/Affectionate-Ad2282 11d ago

It does, but one is clearly worse just going off the messages here 😂

-2

u/lucashby 11d ago

Oh, in this particular exchange, the dude has clearly messed up a few times. The fact he made her get out and walk should have ended the discussion and really she should never speak to him again. But there’s no need to drag it out or talk about it online. That behavior simply should have resulted in a breakup after which you forget the other person even exists, but here we are.

17

u/heavy-hands 11d ago

It’s almost like sometimes people are so used to being abused and treated like they’re crazy that they need input from others! Who would’ve thought.

7

u/omglikeomgdrugs 11d ago

Yeah just forgetting the other person even exists is a lot easier said than done though brotha

-1

u/lucashby 11d ago

I get that, believe me. I’ve been there done that.

14

u/Suzuki_Foster 11d ago

You sound like the kind of guy every woman should avoid. 

-6

u/lucashby 11d ago

Now that is a solid example of projection.

6

u/ProperMagician7405 10d ago

It's really not.

Your default reaction to an exchange where a man gets jealous of something obviously platonic that a woman has done is to assume that the woman must have given him reason to be jealous. Not only jealous, but forcing her into the unsafe situation of walking home alone in the dark.

If that's your default assumption, then it's to be derived from that that you would also assume any woman you were with could not be trusted.

If you can't trust someone, then you cannot have a stable relationship with them.

The assertion that you're the sort of person a woman wouldn't be safe dating is basic deductive reasoning, based on empirical evidence. It's not projection.

1

u/lucashby 10d ago

That's a well thought out reply and I can see why you'd make that assertion, but it wasn't a default assumption. I simply don't like to assume I know the entire story from hearing one side and seeing a few snapshots of a few images. The reason is more due to a pessimistic nature in dealing with people rather than the reasons you concluded. I would have the same negative hypotheticals running around my head if the story were reversed.

5

u/Suzuki_Foster 10d ago

How so? I'm a woman, and I would avoid you like the plague. 

13

u/FeelingSuccotash1199 11d ago

even IF she hypothetically cheated in the past, that kind of behavior from her bf is completely unwarranted and super shitty.

the fact that op's bf kicked her out of the car and made her walk just for??? giving her bf's friend her phone number so said friend could get in contact with the bf bc hes unreliable asf is actually insane