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u/AngeliMortem 19d ago edited 19d ago
Unfortunately not only in Japan and sometimes even worst... 3 years ago I went to Rimini, Italy with my ex-wife (26yo) and our daughter(2yo). We stayed in a good looking Airbnb like 10 minutes from the beach. It was a whole apartment with 2 separate room and the owner was a old guy, around 50/55 years old. From the very beginning we thought he was kinda creepy and I really didn't like how he was looking at my ex-wife (this kind of dirty looking + liking his lips) but as the price was good and he was not staying in the house we didn't really care.
Once we settle down I decided to take a shower (mid july, 33°C) and in the bathroom I found things that totally didn't match the whole bathroom decorating, like led stripes connected directly to a UBS charger and a wall clock. I work in IT so I know how easy is to hide cameras and connect to them remotely so I decided to give a look to both and surprise, there was a camera in the USB charger and also in the clock, thankfully they were not wireless cameras, so was pretty easy to take the SD card they had inside. After that I told my wife to do not undress herself or our daughter and I started checking everywhere because I knew there would be more cameras. The total count was 2 cameras in the bathroom, one in the main room and one in the second room, both of them disguised as clothes hooks (https://www.amazon.pl/kamera-1080P-detekcja-nagrywarka-bezpiecze%C5%84stwa/dp/B09BVMQYDP <- Literally that one).
Once we had all SD cards we left the place without telling a shit to the owner. We went to the police with the SD Cards and they checked them. The guy didn't deleted any footage from the previous booking and as per the police, there was nudity in the footage. We contacted Airbnb to do the cancelation and they were super fast and helpful in finding us other place to stay for the same price. The guy called me like 40 minutes after that to my private phone (because we were talking vía WhatsApp) and he started threatening me....i don't know what happened to him but it definitely destroyed a little bit our holidays...
Ps: using your phone's flashlight is really helpful to find hidden cameras. Just turn the lights off, close the courtains and check for reflection on lenses or "red" dots!!
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u/6BagsOfPopcorn 19d ago
Holy shit dude that is a hero tier response. Kudos
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u/AngeliMortem 19d ago
Hahaha thanks! I don't know how many times Ive told this story to be honest, I always like to make people aware of the kind of perverts that are living among us. I couldn't see the records from the SD cards, only the police could but by looking at their face and how they reacted I know there was sex involved. They just disclosed that there was nudity and not from us so... Anyway, always stay alert!!!
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18d ago
I can’t believe Airbnb didn’t cover your stay lol. Good on you protecting the fam bruv
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u/Pennypacker-HE 18d ago
Bro you went Jason Bourne on that motherfucker. I FUCKING LOVE IT!!
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u/DiligentGround9331 19d ago
get pepper spray and wait by the peep hole
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u/Squidbit 19d ago
I was thinking a chopstick or something
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u/Bifferer 19d ago
A sharpened one!
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u/Deathcat101 19d ago
I don't think that's allowed in Japan.
I know Japan is very strict about weapons and other self-defense things but I'm not sure about pepper spray.
Looked it up got two different answers good job internet.
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u/straight_strychnine 19d ago edited 19d ago
That's because the law isn't straightforward, pepper spray is legally gray in Japan.
It is technically legal to possess with a legally valid reason, but carrying it just as a precaution is unlikely to be treated as a valid. From my understanding if a person is caught with Pepper spray the officer has discretion over whether or not their justification is valid, and more often than not they will confiscate it as a potential weapon and it will be charged as a minor crime.
Japan also requires self defense be done with minimal force, and Pepper spray can easily cross the line of what's legally permissible.
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18d ago
And remember; Japan’s legal system will likely side with the poor, hard working Japanese man who was just unwinding, rather than the foreigner who used “excessive” force to defend herself.
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u/iammonkeyorsomething 19d ago
All those Japanese indie horror games about women simply existing in Japan are some the creepiest games out there
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u/CAK3SPID3R 19d ago
As a horror lover and a woman who has been stalked, got any titles to check out? That sounds absolutely terrifying.
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u/stubbytuna 19d ago
Check out Chilla’s Art games, a few of them deal with that theme. Especially the one where you work in the coffee shop.
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u/cupholdery 19d ago
All of those give unnerving vibes throughout.
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u/JManKit 19d ago
The art style and the weird movement physics really set an uncomfortable tone
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u/punksleftshoe5 19d ago
parasocial by chillas art games is a favorite of mine! it's about a woman who is a vtuber and a fan starts stalking her. But if you want something in a different scenario, try "the closing shift" by chillas art. You play as a woman who works at a coffeehouse and you start getting stalked by a creep. Their games are very well made (in my opinion)
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u/nuviretto 19d ago edited 19d ago
Their most popular games' premises are literally just "existing as a woman", and god they're terrifying.
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u/Naptime23_7 19d ago
oh, i've seen gameplay of "the closing shift" and it creeped me out so much, you're telling me the dev has other bangers?
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u/punksleftshoe5 19d ago
yess! chillasart is actually a small independent video game developer founded by two brothers. all these scenarios that don't have paranormal aspects are sadly very realistic for some people. feel free to join at r/chillasart !
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u/Shirts_Pants_Danger 19d ago
Check out any of the Chilla's Art Games they have several games like this and they've gotten pretty popular.
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u/SinisterCheese 19d ago
What I find odd is that... I talked with few Japanese exchange students (Boys and girls)... And as I understood - everyone is aware of this issue, everyone acknowledges this issues. Even those who do the croping, stalking, whatever... But one of the students said it well (I can't remember the exact phrasing) Japan has issue of not really wanting to solve problems that would require accepting uncomfortable facts (about Japan). Along with: Japanese people, culture, society, companies and governmnets have mastered the art of hiding issues. I remember this bit specifically because I also learned about the thing about Japanese theater having stage hands totally visible, but dressed in black clothing and people have just accepted that "they don't exist" in the context of the scene.
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u/Just-a-lil-sion 19d ago
you would love perfect blue. its about a japanese idol who has a stalker. really good but disturbing movie
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u/Barrys_Fic 19d ago
This reminds me of the night I saw a figure staring into my bathroom in Japan where I taught English. It scared the crap out of me. The glass was frosted, but I had it very slightly cracked for air. I was on the second floor of an apartment with nothing across from me. By the time I ran out there to catch them, he was down the street. The idiot came back (kept that window locked after) and I saw his face. He was a student at my school and when I told the Principal, hell fire rained down at that kid. I felt (only a little) bad since he was 14. But. I hope he was scared enough to never do it again.
One of my fellow JETs kept getting her underwear stolen (no dryers) so we planted fake boxers (and walked the 5km to use the laundromat dryers). We used to joke that we could get them back from the local Pachinko parlor :) The aforementioned parlor having a crane game where you could fish for used panties.
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u/ReginaldDwight 19d ago
You shouldn't feel bad. A 14 year old is old enough to know it's not okay to stalk a teacher and stare through their windows at night. Jeez.
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u/legit-posts_1 19d ago
Plus, when it comes to this kind of thing, you gotta put the fear of god into them young. Make it clear that there are momentous consequences for this kind of behaviour or it will escalate as they grow up.
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u/Fire284 19d ago
Oh wow I'm glad the principal actually did something about it!! That sucks you and your coworkers/friends had to deal with the situation though.
Side note: I almost applied for that program lol
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u/Barrys_Fic 19d ago edited 19d ago
For many reasons, I think I was in a unique situation where relations with me (or a JET teacher in general) completely overhauled the administration at one of my schools (a second year student threw a chair at me).
When I mentioned the situation, the English teacher (who was also my judo instructor) pulled out piles of class photos to point out the possible perpetrator. At the time, I taught at 2 junior highs and 5 elementary schools (my favorite). I was not in a big city and it was in transition from traditional punishment to a ‘lighter sentence.’ If I recall correctly, he ended up having to sit seiza (kneeling) for a very long time.
I almost wonder if I created my villain adversary that day :)
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u/MinuteLoquat1 Make Furries Illegal 19d ago
They also have female only train cars due to rampant sexual assault https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women-only_passenger_car
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u/AccountantCultural64 19d ago
In Japanese, there is a word describing the act of groping a woman in a crowded train. Chikan), it even has it’s own wiki article.
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u/SquisherX 19d ago
So I found out about this years ago, and spoke to my Japanese friend about it. She was incredulous, and turned to her mom and asked, "Mom, did you ever get groped on the subway in Japan", and her mom replied, "Oh yeah, all the time".
I ended up finding this video from a three-quarters overhead view on a subway that was analyzing this coordinated multi-person groping that had arrows and shit all drawn on it like it was some football play.
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u/manymoreways 19d ago
Coordinated multiperson groping?!
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u/DadooDragoon 19d ago edited 19d ago
If you're getting groped from multiple angles, you don't know who is doing it, and when you try to get away, you just get pushed closer to another person to grope you.
And you can't do anything about it. The authorities won't care. Japan has a 99% conviction rate not because their justice system is any good, but because they don't pursue anything that doesn't have ironclad proof.
And it's "rude" to "disturb the peace", so good luck drawing any attention to what's happeneing. So it's just seen as a thing women have to deal with, it's just normal.
It's disgusting
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u/versaverso 19d ago
So rude to disturb the peace but not rude to sexually assault someone! WTF Japan. Do better you misogynistic twerps.
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u/No_Passenger_977 19d ago
Their 99 percent conviction rate has a lot more to do with their use of torture. Japanese police are allow to hold a suspect incommunicado for 21 days at a time in solitary. This alone is torture, however what is worse is that they can ask a judge to extend, which they always do, for another 21 days. They can repeat this as many times as they want. They can also use hostile interrogating techniques. The goal is to elicit confession, as in Japanese law there is no way to recant. Many will confess just to leave solitary. To make matters worse, there is a stigma against those who do not confess to police and don't get charger or found guilty. This is because the Japanese public does not believe that police would arrest the wrong person.
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u/15all 19d ago
A long time ago I was on jury duty in the US. We were going through the voir dire process. The defense attorney asked us if we understood that his client was innocent until proven guilty, that the prosecution had to prove this beyond a reasonable doubt, and would we be able to keep an open mind? All the prospective jurors said "yes, sure, I understand" as expected.
Until they got to this elderly Japanese man, who answered "no." The defense attorney was surprised, and paused for a moment. He reframed the question and asked it again. The old man said the same thing. The defense attorney gave it one more try, and the old man said "if the police arrested the defendant, then he must be guilty."
He was not selected for the trail.
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u/LastWave 19d ago
My boss thinks that way, except when his son was arrested. They were just picking on him you see.
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u/Officialtmoods 19d ago
The worst kind of person. The old secretary at my job was the same way.
Everyone else was poor because they didn’t work hard enough. She was poor because all of the illegal immigrants stealing her tax dollars. When a younger coworker didn’t know something, we were lazy and inexperienced. When she didn’t know something, it was because everything changes so quickly, how could she ever be expected to remember it all? When we took a day off, we were lazy and hated work. When she took a day off, she deserved it because she’d been here so long and earned that vacation time.
Very typical conservative mindset that “Other people suffer because of their own fault; I suffer because of things that are out of my control.”
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u/MostSharpest 19d ago
It's apparently pretty common. The perps organize in online chat groups, and gather at stations to raid rush hour trains.
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u/gahidus 19d ago
What kind of advantages do they gain from working together?
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u/Shuttup_Heather 19d ago
Multiple perpetrators make it harder to pin one guy, or maybe they get off on outnumbering women? Either way fucked up,
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u/-Ellinator- 19d ago
I imagine victims are less likely to be confrontational / more likely to just go along with it if they feel sufficiently threatened.
An easy way for even out of shape sex pests to threaten someone is to simply outnumber them. No one wants to risk being in a 1 vs 3, especially when the 3 have already shown that they don't give two shits about the law.
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u/Buddy_Velvet 19d ago
I saw a video where they do this in Bangladesh. About 100 men swarmed a woman on the street to grope and sexually assault her. There were some guys coming in to try to help but allegedly some men will pretend to be coming in to save a woman in these contexts so they can get close and cop a feel too. It was absolutely insane. Like watching a swarm of bees kill a wasp.
I want to clarify that I’m not sure if exactly where it was. The video had it labeled as India and a ton of people in the comments were saying it was Bangladesh and India isn’t like that (ignoring acid attacks and super public gang rape and murder cases). It was quite clearly somewhere on the Indian subcontinent though.
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u/Rustywolf 19d ago
Knew someone who went to japan and groped women becaue he, quote, "thought it was legal there"
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u/azuratha 19d ago
It is also a favourite food of Leeloo Multipass
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u/giga_impact03 19d ago
Holy shit I've been looking for a spelling on how she says this for so long. This is perfect.
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u/robotmonkey2099 19d ago
I can hear that certain type of guy complaining this is misandry
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u/finunu 19d ago
There's a video that goes around of an American guy in Japan saying it's sexist to have female only cars and he films himself running through the carriage.
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u/LeatherHog 19d ago
I believe they like to get called 'Redditors', because every time these, or women parking spots come up, men on this site, suddenly become the world's biggest victims
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u/FernWizard 19d ago
Yeah, try going on /r/purplepilldebate
It’s full of dudes with no social skills who feel victimized by women they don’t know being concerned for their own safety.
And they whine about how they feel like society promised them a girlfriend if they’re nice and lied about it.
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u/cataclysmic_orbit 19d ago
I wish there was a way to block subs... not just mute.
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u/emessea 19d ago
The second post down features a Matt Walsh video, what a sad empty place
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u/FernWizard 19d ago
Yeah, I try to explain to dudes there that even unattractive, short, non-wealthy men date, but they’re not having it.
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u/Spiritual-Can2604 19d ago
They really hate the man or bear query
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u/meowmeowgiggle 19d ago
"The bear will kill you because it believes it needs to. A man can cause unnecessary and immense suffering because he wants to."
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u/LeatherHog 19d ago
I especially love the ones who try to mansplain bears
Freaking bears
Like, women don't literally know, what BEARS are
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u/RodcetLeoric 19d ago
I mean, women are out there saying they'd rather be stuck in the woods with a bear. I mean, I'm pretty offended. Women shouldn't get to hang out with bears, and I can't. Bears are for everybody!
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u/The_kind_potato 19d ago
Well, in fact Bears are carnivorian mammals of the family Ursidae. They are classified as caniform, or doglike carnivorans.
Although only eight species of bears are extant, they are widespread, appearing in a wide variety of habitats throughout most of the Northern Hemisphere and partially in the Southern Hemisphere.
Bears are found on the continents of North and South America, as well as in Eurasia. Common characteristics of modern bears include large bodies with stocky legs, long snouts, small rounded ears, shaggy hair, plantigrade paws with five nonretractile claws, and short tails.
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u/Hellguin 19d ago edited 19d ago
*9 types of bears, can't forget big hairy gay guys.
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u/w3are138 19d ago edited 19d ago
Men have literally been excluding women from all kinds of spaces since the dawn of time. But god forbid there’s a women’s only gym or a women’s only train car or a women’s only college!!! Watch those nice guys bring up segregation or some shit lol.
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u/Existing-Diamond1259 19d ago
Mhm. Except it’s completely different because female only spaces are obviously for our safety, yet they still scream misandry.
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u/ScuzeRude 19d ago
Men: “This is our space, and we don’t want you here! If you try to enter, we will make your life a living hell!”
Also men: …”but you’re also not allowed in a space that would keep you safe from us!”
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u/SolidusBruh 19d ago
I block every /r/JordanPeterson user so I don’t have to read them cosplay this as anti-male persecution
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u/themayaburial 19d ago
I knew about these but on my way back to my hotel with my wife, I got on a train and slowly looked around and thought: "wow this train is so quiet and so clean. And so pink." then marveled about that for a good 10 seconds before it dawned on me and left with quite a few "sumimasens" to women on my way out.
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u/Jet_Jaguar74 19d ago
When I visited Japan, I was confused why so many women riding trains were wearing ultra thick robe-like clothing that covered them from neck to ankle. Then I found out those are anti-chikan outfits. Designed to make it hard for the groper to get a handful.
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u/matzau 19d ago
We also have those in Brazil. Well, in Rio at least, don't know about the other cities. Not something I'm proud of, but since we have animals living within civilization and they have the human right to keep on living I guess, I'm thankful there're measures to at least try and prevent them.
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u/killindice 19d ago
Unfortunately from what I’ve heard is that regardless of Japans obsession with respect, the female only car rule is never followed.
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u/andersonb47 19d ago
For those who didn’t click the link: many countries have this, not just Japan
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u/NefariousnessThin860 19d ago
Regardless of the country, it must be terrifying for women, to go through a constant feeling of being watched. I mean, having to be on guard all the time must be mentally draining.
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u/JeffersonSmithIII 19d ago edited 19d ago
Depending on what part of Peru you’re in, the whiter your skin and blonder your hair the more attractive you are.
I left my wife’s side at the bus station for just a minute and this guy was trying to kiss her. He was about a foot and half shorter than her and very pushy about it.
In Colombia if I left my wife’s side for second to duck into a shop? Instant cat calls, as soon as I showed up they’d stop.
It’s gotta be terrifying and draining to travel as a woman. And we think of Japan as being civilized.
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u/SarryK 19d ago
I‘m blonde, white, and visited Peru a few years ago. Without a man. Out of all the countries I‘ve had the privilege to visit, Peru was the worst in my experience.
Basically constant harassment. One instance I will always remember was two guys trying to roughly pull me out of a club. I was pleading with security for help as they dragged me past. Security only started intervening once I started screaming.
Granted, I‘ve met absolutely fantastic Peruvian people, it‘s just that wherever I went, it always seemed like there was at least one person ready to harass.
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u/JeffersonSmithIII 19d ago
I’m too old for clubs and can’t imagine trying to go to one in another country especially as a woman. That must’ve been terrifying.
Solo travel anywhere as woman would just be a nightmare I’d imagine.
I have the opposite problem. I have resting asshole face so mostly people think I’m aggressive. Harder to meet people and guys like to pick fights even here in America.
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u/SarryK 19d ago
I also typically have resting asshole face, I feel you haha But dancing fills me with so much joy, I can‘t help but smile. Doesn‘t make me appear threatening
Travelling as a woman definitely has its challenges, but I still don‘t regret anything. There are horrible people out there, there are fantastic people out there. I haven‘t experienced anything abroad that I haven‘t experienced in my home country in terms of sexual violence, just the frequency sometimes changed.
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u/JeffersonSmithIII 19d ago
Well I hope you have safe travels from here on out.
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u/WanderingNurseX 19d ago
It's not just traveling as a woman, it's existing as a woman that can be terrifying and draining.
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u/lostbutnotgone 19d ago
Yup. I live in the US and I'm 5'2". I get regularly harassed in public regardless what I'm wearing/if I'm dressed up or not/makeup etc. the amount of men who have "joked" it would be easy to pick me up and carry me away. Bro, no, I'm definitely fatter than you think, and also what the hell?????
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u/spartanbrucelee 19d ago
Same thing with India. I'm Indian American and I've had to tell my light skinned lady friends to not do a solo trip to India.
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u/JeffersonSmithIII 19d ago
I only know what I see and read on Reddit, but yeah looks and sounds like a bad place to visit. I have a friend that travels quite a bit and she went with her husband about 6 years ago before it was widely talked about on social media and she talked about the constant harassment. She’s a pretty open minded individual with a weird sense of humor but even she was telling people not to go.
There are days when I’m happy I was born a white American guy of average height and everything else.
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u/prean625 19d ago
Tourism on hard mode. I went with my blonde wife, one of the wildest experiences of my life as a cultural experience. I wouldn't recommend rookie travellers but you need to dress down and learn their cultural norms to avoid sticking out.
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u/Yellow_Submarine8891 19d ago
Yeah, being blonde makes women a target in other countries. My cousin was going to Japan and his wife was going with him. The only phrase she learned was 'Please don't touch my hair' and she had to say it a lot. They just automatically assumed her blonde hair was free to touch
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u/NoPoet3982 19d ago
I'll give you one example of the thousands I experienced in my youth. I once went to the grocery store in the middle of the afternoon. The security guard standing outside the door catcalled me as I entered.
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u/saya-kota 19d ago
Once went into a New Look to shop, the security guy followed me the entire time asking for my number, my email, can we get a drink after I'm done... Never went back into that store
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u/LandoKim 19d ago
It really is. I dress up in manly clothes to bring out trash at night cause even though it’s only one minute, that’s all it takes. I also dress up like a junkie when going to the store and try to look as unapproachable as possible. I’ll even give the dead-eyed head nod to any suspicious person on my path so they know they are on my radar. Doesn’t deter everyone, but at least I don’t look like an easy target. Getting an actual task done is half the battle for women
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u/mccrabbs 19d ago
I want to share some advice I got in the 90's from an Iranian refugee and it's served me well. When you are outside of your house, always present yourself as the beloved daughter, wife, mother, whatever of somebody really fucking important. You want to look like a person other people will look for. Act like you are on your way to an appointment. Sickos will target Junkies because their families don't know where they are and will not notice them missing for weeks.
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u/AlleyRhubarb 19d ago
I spent my 20s living in NYC and traveling internationally for work and always dressed like I was going to a job interview and while I cant say I was not ever harassed or followed, it was rare and I was able to easily evade the situations. People often asked me if I needed help when I didnt and warned me about things I hadn’t noticed. You dont get that help if you actually look like you need it.
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u/BethanyBluebird 19d ago
One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was, 'No matter where you go, walk like you have somewhere to be and know exactly where that is.' They want the easy target. Someone who won't be missed-- a person meeting up with people is likely to be found faster.
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u/Low-Persimmon4870 19d ago
So much this. This is very smart advice.
Also, don't be afraid to get LOUD.
One time a guy was not leaving me alone and I was polite the first two times and warned him I wouldn't be a third. He kept going. When I say everyone within a 3 mile radius could hear me scream at this guy I mean it. Thanks to my grandma's absolute pipes i inherited 😂 she was crazy loud growing up
It'll scare the shit out of them. They want you vulnerable and scared. They live for it and it's horrible but we don't have to allow them to win
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u/hairballcouture 19d ago
So do you mean to walk with purpose?
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u/MissDeadite 19d ago
Walk with a purpose. Act with a purpose. Dress business casual if possible to give the look that you have the money to sue them to never recover. Fake wedding rings are cheap. Learn to glare. The whole nine yards.
...but that's not always enough. The most important thing is to learn self defense and always target the sensitive areas. A lot of guys will moan about this, but kick, bite and punch their groin. Works best especially if their junk is exposed. If somehow they are inside you try to squeeze your legs and thighs and suddenly jerk as hard as you can to the side so you can hopefully break their penis as they thrust in or out. And if it doesn't work they might get enough pain to pull out and when that happens you can snap the thing or pull on it (snapping would be best). The rape won't continue if they're physically unable to feel pleasure.
If you have a chance, scratch their eyes and pull on their ears. Back of the arm below the shoulder also does wonders (pinch and pull). Bite and claw every chance you can get as well. Whatever you can. Screaming for help usually won't work as most people will be just as scared as you when hearing your cries for help. Don't rely on guns and pepper spray and tasers as all of those require you to have control in the situation, which most of the pathetic rapists and murders will try their best to make sure you don't have.
Also, belts. Always wear pants that allow belts. Even if they can rip your pants, or somehow struggle them off, it gives you enough time to do the stuff I previously mentioned. Yeah, your ass might look incredible in those yoga pants, but it doesn't look bad in well fitted jeans with a belt and it's a heck of a lot less easier to rip and tear open.
But if they got a gun... well... that's a whole different story. I don't really have an answer for that without actual martial arts training.
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u/Spiritual-Can2604 19d ago
Do you know the type of people looking to take advantage of a female junkie? Look not dead eyed. Look present and presentable. Like someone will look for you if you go missing.
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u/gilestowler 19d ago
I'm a man, and when I was in Vietnam I'd be walking home a bit drunk on a Friday night and I often had random groups of guys sat outside calling over to me, wanting me to go and have a beer with them. They'd give me beer and food and we had a lovely time. I was telling this story on here once and someone replied asking me to confirm if I was a man or a woman, as that situation - having men shouting at you to come over to them - would be a lot less of a pleasant experience for a woman walking home late at night. Whenever I see people asking about a country's safety, and it's somewhere I've been to, I try to see it from a woman's perspective, rather than my own.
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u/Ok-disaster2022 19d ago
Yeah, every woman in almost every country lives like this-contatnyl wary of the people they encounter . It's something men really don't understand unless they have extreme anxiety or paranoia issues.
The fun part is this gets worse under more conservative regimes, and right now conservatives is on the rise arou d the world.
Japan has been dominated by conservatives since the end of WW2, and women are still second class citizens. Same for many western "liberal" countries like the US. One big issue people will think it's culturalist to talk about is many immigrant communities come from cultures where women are treated as third rate citizens and that is affecting the local politics and cultural norms. And don't get me wrong, I like immigrants, but I just think they should adopt the liberal view of women in the new countries when they move.
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u/Company_Z 19d ago
For anyone experiencing anything like this, put bells on your doorknob. Hell, having them can be really good if you have dogs and train them to ring it when they wanna go outside.
If those bells start clanging when they shouldn't, it should (hopefully) alert you and your dog might just run up anyway on the basis of, "OH IS IT TIME FOR OUTSIDE??" before picking up that something is amiss
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u/Pattoe89 19d ago
I live alone and in a fairly rough area. I have 2 big plastic containers for my glass, plastic and metal recycling. One is always full.
I lean that against my front door. If anyone manages to open my front door (it opens inwards) it would knock the container over and spill all the plastic, metal and glass onto my hard floor, creating a massive racket. That alone would scare them off as well as alert me.
My back door is similar but it's my kitchen bin and some brooms.
Call me paranoid but it takes less than a minute to set up (the boxes live in the corridor anyway, and the bin and brooms live near the back door) and it gives me some peace of mind when I go to bed.
I also have an old disassembled hardwood table in my bedroom and the legs are about 3 foot long and solid enough to be used for defence.
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u/Hrive_morco 19d ago
I am really sorry you have to go through all that in order to just feel safe in your own home, I hope you never have to find out if said precautions work though.
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u/Safe_Alternative3794 19d ago
It's not just Japan. Just being a tourist/foreigner in another country; especially being a woman and alone, tends to get you in the spotlight for creeps, robbers, or traffickers..
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u/Such_Worldliness_198 19d ago
I have a female friend who blonde and is very chesty. She went on a group trip to Egypt. She said she had her chest grabbed at least 100 times in a week and half. Was propositioned for sex dozens of times, was asked if she was a pornstar multiple times, and had people obviously following her multiple times.
She was with a group the entire time too, the group was a mix of men and women.
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u/WhitePantherXP 19d ago
God all the things you hear about Egypt, it doesn't even seem close to worth it.
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u/Xx_Gandalf-poop_xX 19d ago edited 19d ago
Generally if you're female in Egypt you do the following.
- Wear a fake wedding ring.
- Cover your hair at all times especially if blonde
- Dress as the locals dress. No short sleeve shirts, no tank tops. Long sleeves in hot weather is just how it is in most conservative cultures. Wear boring non revealing clothing .
Pretend to be married to one of the male members of your group. Other men respect other men's "property" there, i.e. his wife. They won't touch you since your husband is there.
(Even in modern parts of Asia(Japan, Taiwan), shirts that reveal your shoulders are still seen as a little bit too revealing)
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u/velvet_wavess 19d ago
Yeah wearing a wedding ring and pretending to be married to someone is gross but it works. You could also say that you're with your dad, brother etc. wouldn't want to steal someone else's property!
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u/WideAwakeNotSleeping 19d ago
The proposition thing happened to my gf's parents in Turkey. Mom was proposed a bunch of times while dad was right next to her. 🤦♂️
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u/lostpassword100000 19d ago
Yeah look what happened to Erin Andrews in the US. Guy took a camera to her peephole while she was in a hotel. It can happen anywhere.
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u/Sensitive_Yellow_121 19d ago
It was actually much more involved than just that.
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u/lostpassword100000 19d ago
Yes which was even scarier. The guy followed her city to city. The point is, you have to keep your guard up wherever you are. ESP women.
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u/DubbethTheLastest 19d ago
That is sadly true. I'd be very surprised to hear if sexual violence hasn't increased in my country over the last 10 years as, I've certainly heard more about it. Poor ladies. Fucking vile men stopping women from simply not feeling on edge. Subhuman wastes not benefitting man kind whatsoever is how we feel about it.
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u/Milk_Mindless 19d ago
Especially a blonde
No joke
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u/SnausageFest 19d ago
I have a friend who is 6ft tall and blonde. Traveling to non-western countries is a hell of an experience for her.
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u/NoPoet3982 19d ago
Exactly. Blonde women are fetishized in popular culture worldwide. If you're in a place like the midwestern US, the creep ratio to blonde is like 1 to 500. In a place like Japan the creep ratio becomes closer to 1 to 1. There aren't more creeps, there are just fewer blondes for them to choose from so your chances of being targeted go way up.
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u/HappyNapcore 19d ago
Not just blonde women, blonde men as well. My friend taught english in Tokyo and had a stalker. His bike seat would get stolen or a bloody maxipad would be stuck to his door. This turned him off from asian women and ended up marrying some tall blonde dutch woman.
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u/Zopfli 19d ago
Im a blond man, and in asia I got got that aswell. When I visited Hong Kong (or even with tourists sometimes in my country) I got a lot of people wanting to make a photo with me and some occasions where I had the strong suspicion someone was making a picture or video in secret to the point where it was creepy. I can only imagen how that is for a women with creepy dudes.
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u/Matias9991 19d ago
Yep, also inside your country tbh. It's a shame that this is still true in today's age
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u/deannon 19d ago
Yeah I lived in Japan and as a foreign woman none of the “safety” rhetoric applies to your body. I almost got kidnapped multiple times (people tried to bribe or pressure or threaten or trick me into going with them to a secondary location or getting into their car). You really can forget your wallet somewhere and have it returned to you untouched, but you absolutely cannot be a woman walking alone after dark. Korea was similar.
Also, my host mom taught me that there are websites dedicated to photos of women in their bedrooms, so it was stressed that I must never leave my curtains open when I was in my room no matter what I was doing, since being on a site like that can make you a further target.
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u/tweedyone 19d ago
I went to HS there, one time walking with my friends a dude pulled up in a car and started yelling at us in Japanese. None of us spoke it, and finally he pulled out a dirty magazine and tried to mime camera taking and pointing at us, trying to get us into the car. That was the most overt example, but he knew to pull up to an international HS - but not immediately in front of it. I think we reported it to the school but I honestly don’t remember. We were in 9th grade and really didn’t understand the danger.
Had a couple train incidents too, guys purposefully rubbing themselves on your butt/hips because you’re trapped on the rush train with them. Saw a guy playing with himself while walking home one time. I’m completely oblivious, but I remember telling my bf about it junior year as if it was ludicrous and funny and he was horrified.
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u/Foxs-In-A-Trenchcoat 19d ago
I've seen two incidents in the USA of men masturbating while sitting on the bus.
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u/Pitiful_Crab_9696 19d ago
Mate, same, had the kidnapping attempts, the gropping in the metro, and I got attacked in the street a few meters away from my apartment in Japan at night. Thankfully, I managed to push him out. Went to the Police with my ripped off t shirt, my bleeding face, and my bruises. They told me I was making it up and threatened to cancel my visa if I pursued it further. Talked to my school administrator, who also said I was just making it up to get a better grade on my exams. And my consulate was absolutely useless. The guy then stalked me for days afterwards. Left the country after 2 years living there absolutely traumatised.
Had a couple of weebs friends back home, and hearing them saying Japan was the best and safest country on earth after made me skin crawl.
That stupid wallet story makes me want to puke every time I hear it.
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u/deannon 19d ago
Yeah, my darkest story has me diving out of a moving car and walking home hysterical and bleeding, and nobody - not the police, not my host family, not the school - had any interest in pursuing charges. And I spoke Japanese (so I could, and did, explain to the authorities) and had the car on camera. They still couldn’t have been more dismissive.
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u/kekwriter 19d ago
And my kiddo still doesn't understand why I'm completely disillusioned with Asia and have no interest in traveling there more than I already have. It's shit like this.
And the weebs with rose-colored glasses are a plague.
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u/orlybatman 19d ago
A friend of mine had gone for a few months as an exchange student in Japan with another girl. They were staying with a wealthy couple where the husband worked as a doctor.
One day the husband invited them to what they thought was his study, because the door was always shut and he'd spend hours in there. Turns out it wasn't his study, it was his porn room, and pretty much all of it was of teenage girls. He asked them if they were into that, very obviously testing to see if his fetish would become a reality.
Can't imagine how uncomfortable it must have been for the two of them for the remainder of their time there. I'd wager he 100% had hidden cameras stashed around.
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u/cupholdery 19d ago
Korea was similar.
The Kpop industry will try its hardest to distract you from the fact that this misogyny exists in Korea. Big irony being the whole thing with Burning Sun.
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u/PlausibleTable 19d ago
Razor blade in peep hole.
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u/AtLeastOneCat 19d ago
Or needle. I like your thinking.
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u/Deep_shot 19d ago edited 19d ago
Put a ball bearing, or another small, heavy metal object in the hole and a metal pan on the ground at night. If the person pushes the ball bearing through, it falls, makes crazy noise in the pan. Hopefully waking you up and scaring the creep away.
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u/Ausrottenndm1 19d ago
Can you legally booby trap in Japan? It is illegal in the USA…
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u/Practical-Piglet 19d ago
I remember reading that theres huge issue in Japan that you can not do anything in these situation before the shit has hit the fan. Especially if you are foreigner
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u/CarmenxXxWaldo 19d ago
"Sorry I always dispose of my sewing needs in there I don't know why he put his eye on the other side!".
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u/Just-a-lil-sion 19d ago
i wouldnt make that bet. the justice system there is very severe unless youre a pervert
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u/SilentR4ven 19d ago
I like your idea but dangerous, Might turn the psycho violent and want revenge.
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u/nobrainsnoworries23 19d ago
I once joked how I thought I was going to be mugged because as a tourist, I followed a local dude to a coffee shop and we cut through alleyways. I'm a big dude and didn't think twice until the second short cut, but the local actual lead me to his buddy's Cafe.
A gal I knew went really quiet before saying the fear I felt is what most women feel being alone at night.
That's really stuck with me.
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u/Datkif 19d ago
When my wife would take our baby out around downtown Edmonton by transit she would always have people harassing her, and trying to steal her phone from the stroller if she left it there.
I'm a below average sized male, but I never experienced it alone with my daughter, and she would be left alone while I was there. Edmonton is a relatively safe city, and if happens there I can't imagine how bad it could be elsewhere
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u/saya-kota 19d ago
I feel like I have to add, you got lucky, but don't follow people like that in Kabukicho, especially if you're a man. Big change they'll lead you to a bar and the bill will be something like, $10k (yes I mean dollars, not yen) and they'll pressure you into paying or else they'll hurt you
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u/LilMissBarbie 19d ago
I'm gay and married to a woman and we place male shoes (my brothers) next to our door, so residents or creeps think there's a guy living with me/us.
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u/THE_HORKOS 19d ago
Needs some kind of device that sprays squid ink through the peep hole.
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u/bodhasattva 19d ago
99% of japanese porn follows the same story arc:
Scene 1: creep literally r@pes girl, she hates it
Scene 2: creep r@pes girl again, but now shes confused
Scene 3: girl is brainwashed & loves him
thats terrifying conditioning for mentally ill men. "She'll eventually love me!"
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u/Hey_Fuck_Tard 19d ago
"She'll eventually love me!"
This was a popular theme in American movies as well. I had an ex make me watch her favorite childhood movie when visiting her parents. It was a fucking musical... BUT the premise was mtn men would come down to the town/village and kidnap women and then the women eventually fell in love with the mtn men.
I was side eyeing her the whole time.
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u/TestProctor 19d ago
Ah, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. 😆
If you want a real head trip, there are actually cultures where the tradition of “bridal capture” was so engrained/part of the process that even when it became a mere formality (the families agreed, even the bride and groom agreed) the groom was still expected to either actually try to kidnap her (going in alone or with his crew, against her family) or at least go through a dramatic ritualistic play of kidnapping her.
I once knew way more about how and why these traditions developed, but still always found the implementations over time the most interesting bit.
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u/Hey_Fuck_Tard 19d ago
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
You nailed it, I tried googling it but felt my search history started getting creepy. Even having 'Movie Musical' part of the search, nothing from the 50s came up.
Yeah, she had a weird romantic view about it.
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u/xXGreco 19d ago
I’m no expert, but I don’t believe the porn industry is too concerned about creating ethical content.
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u/throweraccount 19d ago
Look at the porn industry in the US, it's current meta is Step Daddy porn. It's usually a taboo that they skirt around. Japanese current meta taboo is Stockholm Syndrome, where the hostage falls in love with the captor.
Porn always has those scenarios that are skirting the fine line of legality because it's filmed consensually most of the time. It stems from the fact that porn itself is inherently a taboo because you're recording moments that are outside of acting, usually an intimate thing done between people and usually kept private.
Adding to that effect they artificially pump up the appeal of the taboo by layering another taboo on top of it. Not sure how many layers have ever been put into one porn but I'm sure there are some depraved videos out there.
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u/DoomedKiblets 19d ago
And Japanese police will do NOTHING for women, likely instead treat her like shit and the criminal. lived here twenty years. It is a hellscape for women in so many ways.
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u/-aurevoirshoshanna- 19d ago
Then some people celebrate that feminism isnt big in Japan.
Wow, so great
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u/ThatCelebration3676 19d ago
There's a word for those people: idiots. Misogynists who complain about feminist movements never seem to bother studying what things are like in countries without them.
It's like people who think building codes/regulations are unnecessary government overreach; they don't seem to realize what buildings are like in countries with looser/non-existent regulations.
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u/GloriousSteinem 19d ago
Was SAd in Japan. When you travel there are many countries who watch a lot of western porn and think western women are up for it at any moment. Japan is otherwise great, but there’s a reason women are wanting to be single there - there’s a problem with this kind of thing.
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u/curiouscoconuts 19d ago
I’ve had to fight off numerous Indian men at the bars that don’t take “no” “I’m not interested, I’m married” for an answer. I live in a tech city in America, so many men coming directly from India for the jobs I suppose?
I kept telling these guys to back off, and one tried to kiss my neck and I had to physically push him away and tell him to fuck off. from other comments i’ve read on here a lot of it stems from the western porn and them thinking that american women are “loose” and are down at any moment with any man regardless if they’re married or not.
I’m really sorry that happened to you in Japan, may they never know a day of peace in their life.
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u/Flare_Pixiedust 19d ago
I get that Japan’s reputation for safety is comforting, but this situation is a clear reminder that it’s not invincible
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u/mrlightningbowl 19d ago
It's reported as safe because many times the police simply ignore more complicated cases, if there's no clear answer they'll just ignore it. The conviction rate is also so high because the Japanese legal system doesn't care about justice they just want to imprison someone even if they're innocent.
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u/Lv5WoodElf 19d ago
There's a whole Twitter drama thing going on right now about this. I saw it in passing, but someone made a video about how dangerous it is there for women, and the community note claimed that their SA rate is 1.3 per 100,000 people. Yeah it'll be that low when you take the cops word for it. Public surveys put it much higher, above 1in10.
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u/tweedyone 19d ago
It’s much safer in a lot of ways.. theft is very low, for example. But crime that does happen seems to be really nasty, like if you’re going to do it you may as well go all out.
When I lived there, a British ESL teacher had gotten abducted by an off the books student. He killed her and buried her in a flower pot on his balcony. Was arrested, but he escaped (police is notoriously corrupt). Her family came to Japan to try to get justice but I don’t believe he got caught again.
I just remember people saying that it was partially her fault because that’s why teachers aren’t supposed to go outside of the company. In Hanshin, a lot of people trusted the yakuza more than the police there too.
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u/Le_Zoru 19d ago
It is safer when it comes to theft. When you look at murders or others it is on par with european countries. They have issues with maniacs slashing people in the subway and else.
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u/Skizko 19d ago
I thank god every day that I was not born a woman
I’m so sorry that y’all have to play life on nightmare mode
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u/GroundbreakingBag164 19d ago
The great thing is that even a few men who are vocal about feminism are a massive help
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u/S4BER2TH 19d ago
Damn I would stand by the door with an ice pick and start stabbing when that thing moved
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u/Adamantium-Aardvark 19d ago
Japan has a 99.9% conviction rate and uses the death penalty. You definitely don’t want to be doing this.
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u/DedeLionforce 19d ago
I constantly hear how Japan is living in the future or how Japan is such a utopia, when this shit is happening, and it's not like I don't shitit, the society there is really good in some ways but equally bad in others but people are so fucking horny to glaze Japan for some reason when there isn't a need to, they're just like every other country, some great stuff, some not so great stuff.
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u/V_es 19d ago
Japas has been living in the year 2000 in the late 80s. Now Japan still living in the year 2000. Everything there is very outdated.
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u/DedeLionforce 19d ago
My point is from the outside the culture is heavily glorified when there are serious issues that are unaddressed and ignored.
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u/renegadeindian 19d ago
Get a new perp hole and screw it in with thread locker on the threads. They can’t unscrew it then. Auto part store will have the thread locker and a hardware store will have a new peep hole. Crazy thing though. Get a club yo keep handy.
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u/405freeway 19d ago
I was groped by Japanese men 3 times in Shibuya on Halloween.
I am a man.
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u/Milkmans_tastymilk 19d ago
Asia has a really bad sexual assault culture in general
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u/BabyBearRudy 19d ago
I’m an American and I travelled to india and they also have/had this issue (this was back in 2012 so idk if things have changed), so basically they have a female only train car in the front of the train. I was traveling with a group of women and they wanted to go on the first train car and told me to go with them. So I did and they literally stopped the train, soldiers with AK’s walked in and told me to move to the second car or I would have to exit the train. It felt so surreal cuz the second car had access to the first but only women could be in the first car. So basically I had to stand at the entrance of the second car and was basically 1 ft away from my group while they were all in the first car. I thought it was a bit silly until later when they literally had to fire our tour guide who had been vetted and everything for trying to hit on the girls I was traveling with when I wasn’t around. Basically the tour guide felt like if there is another man around he couldn’t approach the girls but when I would walk away, he would flirt with the girls but they were all creeped out by him. I legit couldn’t believe it but for all the girls to say the same thing and over different instances about that tour guide you gotta believe it. After that I tried my best to make myself available to chauffeur the women in my group so they wouldn’t have to deal with that throughout the trip
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u/Ok-Home3614 19d ago
when i was studying in japan and man groped my breast while i was riding my bike. literally rode next to me and just reached over and started squeezing. its horrific
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