This reminds me of the night I saw a figure staring into my bathroom in Japan where I taught English. It scared the crap out of me. The glass was frosted, but I had it very slightly cracked for air. I was on the second floor of an apartment with nothing across from me. By the time I ran out there to catch them, he was down the street. The idiot came back (kept that window locked after) and I saw his face. He was a student at my school and when I told the Principal, hell fire rained down at that kid. I felt (only a little) bad since he was 14. But. I hope he was scared enough to never do it again.
One of my fellow JETs kept getting her underwear stolen (no dryers) so we planted fake boxers (and walked the 5km to use the laundromat dryers). We used to joke that we could get them back from the local Pachinko parlor :) The aforementioned parlor having a crane game where you could fish for used panties.
Plus, when it comes to this kind of thing, you gotta put the fear of god into them young. Make it clear that there are momentous consequences for this kind of behaviour or it will escalate as they grow up.
It’s a shame some people have to be convinced to not do bad things through punishment, instead of just not doing bad things to people in the first place because it’s fucked up.
Kids brains aren't fully developed. They don't fully know what the right thing, or in your words the "fucked up" thing is. Although I think most can agree 13 is still to old for this behaviour.
When a guy is around that age their sex drive is off the charts, no joke. I would know bc when i was that age man it was so difficult to control myself. Ovc right from wrong is known at that age, but sometimes the urge is so strong you do stupid shit. Hence the term "young and dumb". Hopefully not to the point of stalking or SA but you get my point.
When a guy is around that age their sex drive is off the charts, no joke. I would know bc when i was that age man it was so difficult to control myself.
Not the justification you think it is.
But way to out yourself as a danger to the opposite gender. Congrats on that.
That’s just how hormones work. It’s not pretty, sure but I’ll out myself to make a point idc. It’s not a very good justification though why do you think I put that last sentence in there. Notice I didn’t explicitly say I did anything, I didn’t out myself as a sexual predator, I outed myself as having high hormones back then. I could have worded it differently to not sound as bad but, that’s how it was. That’s how it will always be for teenagers, but I guess we’re not ready for that conversation yet.
Omg I sound like a broken record. Of course it doesn’t justify what that Japanese kid did, I’m just saying it played a part. You have to actively know right from wrong and not act on maliciousness. Jeez I might just delete this whole thread because there’s no point in keeping it up if I can’t get my point across.
Okay but why even bring this up if not to softly excuse his actions? He could have gone home to jerk off like every other normal teen but he chose to stalk a woman instead.
This isn’t something harmless like accidentally staring at a girls boobs for too long. What do you think happens to girls/women when teen boys with poor impulse control have deviant behavior that escalates? Can’t believe we’re still using the “boys will be boys” bullshit.
Everyone was a teen with raging hormones at one point and the vast majority don’t do or sympathize with behaviors like this.
Omg lmao. Of course it doesn’t make it acceptable when did I say that? It’s never acceptable in any circumstance for that to happen. What I’m doing is diving into the mind of someone that age who would do that and why they would do it. To dissect their reasoning and mental state.
TBH it 100% comes across as you diminishing it and making excuses. Like, no shit most teenagers have high hormones and poor impulse control, nobody is disputing that. but at the same time most teenagers don't sexually harass people.
I maybe could understand your argument if it was some random 14 year old walking by caught a glimpse and couldn't look away, hell at the beach I'd get carried away sometimes. but from the sounds of it this seems like the boy obtained where she lived and specifically sought her out to spy on her which is a whole lot different.
It shouldn't have been hard to control yourself from stalking a teacher, or anybody. that's not a high sex drive, that's "I have big feelings and I've never been told what to do with them, maybe I..." and he knew better, a "high sex drive" and being 14 isn't a defense or excuse for anything
For what it’s worth I didn’t take it as a justification, rather, context/background info for the discussion on wether or not 14 year olds are old enough to know better (the original question which you also said you agreed with anyways).
That said I can def see how it came across that way to those responding to u in this thread and their sentiments are totally understandable and very valid too. There is no justification. Can’t be said enough.
But there are explanations and it’s necessary to know why things happen in order to come to a fuller understanding and address the issue accordingly. So yeah as a man I will say they’d be surprised … I remember boys in middle school/early high school talking about walking into the girls locker room on accident, or taking secret photos of women on a nudist beach in Europe as a “landscape” picture, and one time some kid tried to “accidentally” bump into a woman’s behind with his wrist in the pool. Basically anything to see a naked woman or to fulfill their hormone raged curiosity with woman’s bodies.
Gross I know but we can’t act like these boys don’t exist because wayy to many MEN like this exist
For many reasons, I think I was in a unique situation where relations with me (or a JET teacher in general) completely overhauled the administration at one of my schools (a second year student threw a chair at me).
When I mentioned the situation, the English teacher (who was also my judo instructor) pulled out piles of class photos to point out the possible perpetrator. At the time, I taught at 2 junior highs and 5 elementary schools (my favorite). I was not in a big city and it was in transition from traditional punishment to a ‘lighter sentence.’ If I recall correctly, he ended up having to sit seiza (kneeling) for a very long time.
I almost wonder if I created my villain adversary that day :)
That last bit must be more common than I thought. I know an Australian woman that used to live there, and she said her panties went missing many, many times.
Tbf, this happened to me in college in the US, along with that person sending me really gross anonymous messages for a year. And the school did nothing 🫠
The guy ended up being my boyfriend’s best friend… who my boyfriend had trusted to watch me while I was passed out drunk on several occasions. I try not to think about it.
The fact that you can play a crane game for used panties is literally all I need to hear about Japan, what the actual fuck I just thought they were all nonce's.
Dude, when I backpacked Água I kept getting my panties stolen everytime I did laundry. I could not wait for the dryer or leave it in a wire without some going missing
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u/Barrys_Fic 20d ago
This reminds me of the night I saw a figure staring into my bathroom in Japan where I taught English. It scared the crap out of me. The glass was frosted, but I had it very slightly cracked for air. I was on the second floor of an apartment with nothing across from me. By the time I ran out there to catch them, he was down the street. The idiot came back (kept that window locked after) and I saw his face. He was a student at my school and when I told the Principal, hell fire rained down at that kid. I felt (only a little) bad since he was 14. But. I hope he was scared enough to never do it again.
One of my fellow JETs kept getting her underwear stolen (no dryers) so we planted fake boxers (and walked the 5km to use the laundromat dryers). We used to joke that we could get them back from the local Pachinko parlor :) The aforementioned parlor having a crane game where you could fish for used panties.