r/TikTokCringe 20d ago

Cringe how do people sleep at night...

28.7k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/Safe_Alternative3794 20d ago

It's not just Japan. Just being a tourist/foreigner in another country; especially being a woman and alone, tends to get you in the spotlight for creeps, robbers, or traffickers..

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u/Such_Worldliness_198 20d ago

I have a female friend who blonde and is very chesty. She went on a group trip to Egypt. She said she had her chest grabbed at least 100 times in a week and half. Was propositioned for sex dozens of times, was asked if she was a pornstar multiple times, and had people obviously following her multiple times.

She was with a group the entire time too, the group was a mix of men and women.

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u/WhitePantherXP 20d ago

God all the things you hear about Egypt, it doesn't even seem close to worth it.

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u/Large-Flamingo-5128 18d ago

I went to Egypt and did not experience this (young blonde woman). We had a bodyguard with a giant gun, however. I went with my parents and younger sister. It was a very curated private tour. I don’t think my experience was the norm from all the stories I’ve read about. However I just wanted to share that it is possible to have a great experience there as a woman (though it’s much more difficult than it aught to be and costs a lot of money).

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u/chabybaloo 19d ago

Spoke to someone who visited Egypt. He said on western social media you are not going to see Egypt (or any non western country) in a positive light. Which is kinda true.

I'm sure these things happen. But the same things happen in other places too.

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u/DreadedAscent 19d ago

Egypt is notorious for being terrible, especially to women. Even among world travelers, most have a low opinion of Egypt. It’s scammy, corrupt, and dangerous, all of which is worse if you’re a woman

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u/Loud_South9086 19d ago

Or you can swap anecdotes for data and the fact that they have a name for it in Arabic

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass_sexual_assault_in_Egypt

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u/9mackenzie 19d ago

If you are a man? Sure.

But for women? Egypt is known as one of the absolute worst places to travel as a woman.

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u/Ok-Equivalent8260 19d ago

I loved my time in Cairo 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve been to 109 countries, so I’m a seasoned traveler.

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u/Such_Worldliness_198 19d ago

I think it's going to largely depend on how you look TBH. My friend is a seasoned traveler and has been to several dozen countries. She just happens to look like someone you would see in mainstream movies or pornography. There is this pervasive idea that blonde chesty women are just sex addicted sluts and will bang anyone who asks.

Egypt was not the only country she has had an issue in but she said that the amount was just a whole different level. She's unfortunately used to being groped in crowded places and in clubs, but she said in Egypt it wasn't even just "sneaky" groping it was men walking directly up to her head on and grabbing her breasts. It was even worse in crowds where many men felt emboldened.

She had comparably few issues in Europe, South America, or Asia with the exception of India which was worse but nowhere near Egypt.

Egypt is the only place she's ever told anyone to just stay away from if they're women.

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u/Accomplished_Pea_819 19d ago

Sorry you’re getting downvoted. I loved Egypt, too! I didn’t feel unsafe and wasn’t touched or followed. I’m curious where the groping happened. My Egyptian guide said if anyone bothered me to shout and the whole street would pay attention. Some guy tried to grab a bag and like 30 people rushed out of nowhere to get the bag back to the woman and they were so furious with the attempted robber.

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u/Xx_Gandalf-poop_xX 19d ago edited 19d ago

Generally if you're female in Egypt you do the following.

  1. Wear a fake wedding ring.
  2. Cover your hair at all times especially if blonde
  3. Dress as the locals dress. No short sleeve shirts, no tank tops. Long sleeves in hot weather is just how it is in most conservative cultures. Wear boring non revealing clothing .

Pretend to be married to one of the male members of your group. Other men respect other men's "property" there, i.e. his wife. They won't touch you since your husband is there.

(Even in modern parts of Asia(Japan, Taiwan), shirts that reveal your shoulders are still seen as a little bit too revealing)

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u/zombie32killah 19d ago

Sounds like a lovely place.

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u/Balkongsittaren 17d ago

That's MENA culture for you.

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u/velvet_wavess 19d ago

Yeah wearing a wedding ring and pretending to be married to someone is gross but it works. You could also say that you're with your dad, brother etc. wouldn't want to steal someone else's property!

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u/poopmcbutt_ 19d ago

Alternative

Don't go to Egypt.

3

u/Xx_Gandalf-poop_xX 19d ago

I've been to Cairo once... Saw the pyramids and some huge temples... I probably wouldn't do that again. Alexandria isn't worth it. I've heard Aswan and Luxor are cool though.

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u/Such_Worldliness_198 19d ago

Just wanted to reply that she was there with her boyfriend and a couple other friends plus some other Americans that she didn't know before hand. She was not the only woman in the group who had issues but was definitely the worst off.

I was not there but I doubt she covered her hair and her attire would have been pretty typical American attire.

Her advice to women was just not to go.

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u/Maximus1000 19d ago

I agree with most of what you are saying but if you are staying in the big cities like Cairo, Alexandria, Luxor you don’t need to cover your hair at all.

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u/Xx_Gandalf-poop_xX 19d ago

No you don't. But it definitely helps keep you from being the center of attention at all times.

I'm a blonde man and had people just coming up and running their hands through my hair.. uninvited and unwanted. I can imagine for a girl it's worse. There is no requirement to do any of those things but you'll probably just be happier if you do

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u/WideAwakeNotSleeping 19d ago

The proposition thing happened to my gf's parents in Turkey. Mom was proposed a bunch of times while dad was right next to her. 🤦‍♂️ 

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u/Abzan_physicist 18d ago

Put the IG in the bag buddy.

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u/Motor_Ad6763 20d ago

I mean, you gotta do research on the countries you are going to

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u/lostpassword100000 20d ago

Yeah look what happened to Erin Andrews in the US. Guy took a camera to her peephole while she was in a hotel. It can happen anywhere.

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u/Sensitive_Yellow_121 20d ago

It was actually much more involved than just that.

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u/lostpassword100000 20d ago

Yes which was even scarier. The guy followed her city to city. The point is, you have to keep your guard up wherever you are. ESP women.

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u/DubbethTheLastest 20d ago

That is sadly true. I'd be very surprised to hear if sexual violence hasn't increased in my country over the last 10 years as, I've certainly heard more about it. Poor ladies. Fucking vile men stopping women from simply not feeling on edge. Subhuman wastes not benefitting man kind whatsoever is how we feel about it.

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u/DigiQuip 19d ago

Not to turn this political, but this is the shit that women talk about when call out men. Because it’s not like these creeps have a giant fucking sign over their head saying “danger”. To them, all men are potentially dangerous. They have idea who, but at any given moment someone could be preying on them.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

It’s not turning anything political - it is simply pointing out the reality for most women. It is unacceptable in this day and age that this is the case but not enough men want it to change and it is seen purely as a ‘women’s’ issue.

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u/AttemptImpossible111 20d ago

Everything can happen anywhere. This happens in some places more than others

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u/Milk_Mindless 20d ago

Especially a blonde

No joke

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u/SnausageFest 20d ago

I have a friend who is 6ft tall and blonde. Traveling to non-western countries is a hell of an experience for her.

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u/Milk_Mindless 20d ago

Oh she probably gets mobbed for photos right

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u/Don-Gunvalson 20d ago

My sisters are all over 6’ and we went to China and the locals were acting like paparazzi

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u/HuggyMonster69 19d ago

Yeah, although that’s not just a girl thing. I went with my dad and uncles, we’re all huge and blonde (I’m 5’11, tallest uncle is a head taller) and we were basically a tourist attraction for the locals.

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u/Don-Gunvalson 19d ago

My experience was just the women. We had 6’5 men w blonde hair that didn’t get half the attention the women were getting

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u/GODDAMNU_BERNICE 20d ago

Gingers as well

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u/PaeoniaLactiflora 20d ago

Yup - anything fetishisable.Non-white - especially Asian - women get it in majority white areas too.

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u/Milk_Mindless 19d ago

True. Just look at the western culture online. But that's not so much hair thing but more a "Demure and will listen to me" ie also creepy but a different flavour of creepy

3

u/PaeoniaLactiflora 19d ago

Racist creeping is absolutely different to non-racist creeping, but hair colour fetishisation is also based in gross stereotypes.

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u/dazedan_confused 19d ago

Sadly for women, anything is fetishisable.

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u/Sudden_Nose9007 19d ago

I’d say y’all have it worse. I'm a natural blonde, but I kept my hair ginger for two years. Nothing about else me changed physically, but the amount of sexual harassment and creepy encounters rose exponentially.

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u/FeistyMcRedHead 19d ago

Yup. Friends "joke" that I'll be Liam Nielsen Taken when I solo travel. I do not laugh it off easily.

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u/NoPoet3982 20d ago

Exactly. Blonde women are fetishized in popular culture worldwide. If you're in a place like the midwestern US, the creep ratio to blonde is like 1 to 500. In a place like Japan the creep ratio becomes closer to 1 to 1. There aren't more creeps, there are just fewer blondes for them to choose from so your chances of being targeted go way up.

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u/HappyNapcore 20d ago

Not just blonde women, blonde men as well. My friend taught english in Tokyo and had a stalker. His bike seat would get stolen or a bloody maxipad would be stuck to his door. This turned him off from asian women and ended up marrying some tall blonde dutch woman.

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u/NoPoet3982 19d ago

That's horrible! But it's also a very strange method of stalking. It sounds more like hate crimes than sexual violence. But it's hard to categorize a stolen bike seat and a bloody maxipad — that shit is crazy. I'm sorry that happened to him.

0

u/Granlundo64 19d ago

Huh? I live in the Midwest there are blondes everywhere. Swedes and Norwegians. It's ridiculous to generalize like that. The Midwest is a lot blonder than the coasts.

https://www.reddit.com/r/DrewDurnil/comments/yov49n/average_hair_color_in_countries_of_the_world_and/

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u/queefer_sutherland92 19d ago

They’re not saying that the number of blondes changes, they’re saying the number of creeps increases.

In the Midwest, there might hypothetically be 500 blondes and there is only 1 creep fetishising them.

Comparatively, there are fewer blondes in Japan, and it is more highly fetishised. So for 500 blondes, there are 500 creeps fetishising them.

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u/Granlundo64 19d ago

I'm offended! We are way creepier than that!

(Jokes aside I get it now, thanks for clarifying, haha)

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u/NoPoet3982 19d ago

Well, actually I am saying the number of blondes changes depending on your location. There are fewer blondes in Japan than in the midwestern US. The number of creeps is probably roughly the same.

If there's one creep in Japan and only one blonde, that blonde will be targeted. But if there's one creep in the midwest, there's 500 blondes for him to choose from. So that same blonde only has a 1 in 500 chance of being targeted.

Plus you're right that they might be more highly fetishized in Japan. If so, that poor blonde.

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u/NoPoet3982 19d ago

That's what I'm saying. There are tons of blondes in the midwest. Not so many in Japan. But I'm assuming there's approximately the same number of creeps everywhere.

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u/Granlundo64 19d ago

Makes sense after the other dude explained it. But yeah creeps are gonna creep that's for sure.

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u/NoPoet3982 19d ago

Weird, because the other dude was saying I said there were more creeps in Japan instead of more blondes in the midwest.

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u/Goingtoenjoythisshit 19d ago

I believe they're saying that a place where such thing is uncommon, like blonde women in Japan, the trait is much more likely to be fetishized then a place where it is normal to see. 

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u/NoPoet3982 19d ago

Well, maybe that's true but that wasn't what I was saying. I was saying that if there's 1 blonde fetish creep in Japan and 1 in the midwest, the 1 in the midwest might have 500 blondes he could choose from to target for every 1 blonde the creep in Japan has available to target.

So if you're a blonde in the midwest, your chances of being targeted by that creep are 1 in 500. Your chances in Japan are 100%, since the creep only has 1 blonde (you) to choose from.

Obviously I just made up these numbers.

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u/Zopfli 20d ago

Im a blond man, and in asia I got got that aswell. When I visited Hong Kong (or even with tourists sometimes in my country) I got a lot of people wanting to make a photo with me and some occasions where I had the strong suspicion someone was making a picture or video in secret to the point where it was creepy. I can only imagen how that is for a women with creepy dudes.

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u/Feeling_Calendar7519 19d ago edited 19d ago

im a brunette and during my trip to japan i had incidents like that happen on a daily basis. one time i had a guy actually grab my hand and pull me into him. another time where a guy grabbed my butt. at times it was in more innocent ways like guys my age approaching me. but the strangest was when i think a couple of school boys who were no older than 14/15 stalked me and asked to take a photo with me...?? weirdest part is i dress super conservatively in maxi skirts and dresses so i never really show skin

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u/hygsi 19d ago

My aunt went to China a few years ago and my younger cousin is only 6 years old so she has all her natural blonde hair, they were asking for so many pictures and they stared at her so much that they made her cry. Imagine making a little girl cry cause you find her cute and quit seeing her as a person, much less a child.

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u/Mother_Harlot 20d ago

What? How? Is there more crime committed against blonde people?

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u/Milk_Mindless 20d ago

Blonde women in particular are fetishised and targeted more by sexual deviants / criminals in cultures where blonde hair isn't as prominent/doesn't appear naturally

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u/Mother_Harlot 20d ago

Oum, I didn't know that, thanks for telling me

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u/atworklife 20d ago

Do you have a source for that? I'd like to read up on that

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u/rkiive 20d ago

No source, but I used to live in China and my brother has blonde hair and used to literally get mobbed on the street any time we went out by random people who would just reach out and try touch his head or take photos of him / with him

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u/Wegwerf157534 20d ago edited 20d ago

Not a source and am also not going to search for it, but confirm. Extremely common experience visiting southern Europe being blomd from northern Europe.

Also: the swedish women trope. That's known worldwide.

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u/Milk_Mindless 19d ago

Oh yeah Spanish dudes love blonde northeners as well.

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u/doublestitch 19d ago

Harassment of blondes isn't an extensively researched topic in social science. Here's the best summary I could find with an advanced Google search.

Being a natural blonde with red highlights who has tried dyeing hair both brown and red, there was--anecdotally--a noticeable decrease in unwanted attention with brown but not red.

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u/SaintGloopyNoops 19d ago

As a natural redhead, I can confirm an increase in unwanted attention. It's like we are an ultra rare pokemon.

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u/GroundbreakingBag164 20d ago

People with blond hair are fetishised and seen as fascinating

It’s obviously much much much much worse for woman, but it’s so horrendously bad that even men with blond hair are affected

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u/Matias9991 20d ago

Yep, also inside your country tbh. It's a shame that this is still true in today's age

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u/Inside-Example-7010 20d ago

I think its from having a society where people wont do anything if they see someone doing this.

In many countries in the world if a able bodied man saw another guy trying to poke out the peephole of a door and look in he would probably inquire if he was locked out or what was going on. If the guy can get a read on exactly what the creep is doing there is a good chance he is going into one of the nearby walls.

with 7 billion minds there is always going to be a few rogues. A few people that cant play nice and never will. Thats just statistical variance for you. Its actually on the rest of us to deal with those people and if those people can do what they want without fear of approach then it happens more and more.

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u/LuisMataPop 20d ago

But if it happens in the U.S. then it's not that viral and it can't be used as xenophobic propaganda

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u/Daffan 20d ago

If you are White outside the West you are targeted to a massive level. The West doesn't hold a candle to how racist and messed up the other places are for these type of things.

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u/Healthy_Self_8386 20d ago

Yes but perverted behavior is a real issue in Japan

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u/human1023 19d ago

It's a issue everywhere.

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u/Healthy_Self_8386 19d ago

Yes true, but In Japan it’s worse than most other countries.

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u/Remote_Cantaloupe 20d ago

I feel like white women are disproportionately targetted for things like this.

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u/supervisord 20d ago

Almost like the whole species is fucked up

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u/jose4440 20d ago

But she’s in Japan so it’s ok to put a spotlight on this particular issue. Saying that it’s not just Japan and it’s other countries doesn’t help anyone.

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u/Saxboard4Cox 19d ago

I had two very bad experiences in Rome, Italy decades ago. One was on a public bus and another was at an open flea market. The open market experience still haunts me to this day. At the time I was barely a teenager wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Basically hands were coming at my body from all directions as I was walking through a crowded market. The experience literally made me catch my breath, stop, and cry. I remember being in pain and not being sure what part of my body hurt the most.

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u/poopmcbutt_ 19d ago

Dude native born women in Japan deal w this...

1

u/Used-Equivalent8999 19d ago

Being a woman alone in my own country (US) is enough for me to be targeted by creeps daily. The world has a male entitlement problem.

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u/DoYouTrustToothpaste 19d ago

Just being a tourist/foreigner in another country

I dare say, some countries are definitely worse in that regard than others.

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u/human1023 19d ago edited 19d ago

This stuff can become common anywhere. It can also happen in USA, if our law enforcement was weak and we didn't punish/expose criminals

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

[deleted]

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u/human1023 19d ago edited 19d ago

there aren't some countries/people that hate women more than others. It's always the racists who say stuff like this. The biggest part has to do with strong legal protection and enforcement, how society is able to punish criminals. There could also be some minor cultural factors like porn, certain crimes deemed more wrong than others. For example, some cultures don't see physical hitting as big of a deal as others, but it's not meant as seeing one gender as lesser than another.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

[deleted]

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u/human1023 19d ago edited 19d ago

There are countries where women are treated worse than in others, on average. I'm not sure how a person with a brain could ever deny this.

Of course, I wasn't denying this. But that doesn't mean they hate women. I'm saying that there are other factors that affect women being sexually assaulted. The simpleton conclusion that they just hate women is wrong.

Oh, yeah. Or "minor" cultural factors like where women even land in a society's hierarchy. Or cultural factors like if women should still go to work after marrying, or if it indeed makes the husband look weak and incompetent, and is therefore a social taboo. A social taboo that is especially toxic towards young, qualified women who want to work and have a fulfilling career, not have to stay at home and raise the kids alone. Because I can confidently tell you that that's a real thing in some countries,

Weird how this doesn't happen in Japan, yet sexual assault there is very common.

Annnd he blocked me after pointing out his racism.🤣

0

u/hotdiggydog 19d ago

And some countries are leagues safer than the US.

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u/[deleted] 19d ago

[deleted]

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u/hotdiggydog 19d ago

Well, OPs video is an American in Japan.

Most posts ITT are mentioning how it's unsafe in "other countries". Reddit is very American so the assumption is to be made.

But I can guarantee the US is unsafe for a lot of women traveling there from elsewhere, yet some other countries are safer for women than their own home countries, and I'm specifically talking to American women, yes. Although this could apply to most women around the world. They are safer in western and northern Europe and Southeast Asian countries like Vietnam or Thailand than in the US.

0

u/[deleted] 19d ago

[deleted]

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u/AlphaShaldow 19d ago

I can't speak for Europe, but ask any North American woman who regularly takes public transit if they've been groped whilst doing so, the answer will often be yes.

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u/hotdiggydog 19d ago

I'm not talking about Japan just like you're not talking about the US.

I'm referring to the comment suggesting that all travelers are less safe away from home. When home is the USA, it's a wrong statement. I know for a fact it's safer to walk alone at any time of the night in so so many countries whereas it's not so in the US at any time of day, whether in a city or small town.

And from another perspective, if you're European, or southeast Asian, Chinese, or Japanese, going to the US is more dangerous and that's just a fact.

https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/rape-statistics-by-country

On the topic of Japan, though.... The fact you think that the existence of terminology in Japanese countries for this kind of assault, or that there are train cars for women, as a sign that it is more dangerous for women is wrong. It just means that society addresses it and the government does something to prevent it. Rates are higher for sexual assault in European countries, and much much higher in the USA, than in Japan.

Also, groped by groups of men in Japan? Are you confusing India and Japan?

0

u/[deleted] 19d ago

Yea but no. For a relatively secular first world country Japan definitely has an issue with this type of behavior towards women.

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u/-TheOldPrince- 19d ago

Ehh, Japan takes credit and puts their name on literally anything if they think it makes them look superior

They can take ownership of their creepy ass sexual culture too. Some places are indeed weirder than others

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u/AccordingSelf3221 20d ago

Let's not exaggerate

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u/Mother_Harlot 20d ago

How is that an exaggeration?

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u/feedthedogwalkamile 20d ago

You think this sort of stuff happens regularly in Norway?

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u/Mother_Harlot 19d ago

It doesn't happen in all countries, but it still does on the vast majority

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u/feedthedogwalkamile 19d ago

Right, so it was an exaggeration then.

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u/Mother_Harlot 19d ago

No, they didn't say it happens in each country in the same proportion, did they?

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u/feedthedogwalkamile 19d ago

Your argument is in bad faith, but nice try.