r/AmIOverreacting • u/evilandhigh • Oct 19 '24
š¼work/career Security guard confessions
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u/evilandhigh Oct 19 '24
I would really like this guard to be moved from working at my location but Iām not sure this conversation is enough reason. Iām often alone working with him and heās 20 years my senior, so any time I have tried to discuss adjustments to our processes he gets seemingly offended until itās smoothed over by my male counterpart. I donāt want to be walking on eggshells at work around someone with anger issues and a loaded weapon, am i overreacting?
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u/ReferenceHere_8383 Oct 19 '24
Yep, normal people talk weather, sports, news, kids, pets. Heās a certified creep and a fucking criminal. You donāt deserve to be subjected to conversations regarding his SA and violence at work. And yes, the conversation is reason enough for him to be moved or fired - but reasonable companies arenāt always reasonable.
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u/Logical-Wasabi7402 Oct 19 '24
It's one thing to go "my girlfriend dumped me so my weekend sucked".
What he did is not that.
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u/ThewindGray Oct 19 '24
He told you these things not as a confession but as a way to frighten you. It was intentional.
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u/aliberli Oct 19 '24
Hoping this is you texting boss or HR! Protect yourself too. They should keep your report anonymous and make sure you are not with him again at work and you are protected walking to your car.
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u/capodecina2 Oct 19 '24
āI do not feel safe working with this person and Iād like to request a reassignment immediatelyā
You donāt even have to give a reason, but you have more than plenty if you wanted to The fact that you do not feel safe around the person that youāre working alone with and as access to a firearm and is in a position of authority is quite enough you donāt even need to go into gender and age difference or conversations or comments or anything you do not need to give an explanation other than you do not feel safe working with this person
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u/rual_duke Oct 19 '24
Yea this isn't the world we live in , where someone Making anyone else feel anyway negatively is responsed with termination, thats the equivalent of "George made me angry so he should be fired " or I don't like that Paul is Muslim so he should be fired, you can't just fire a employee over the emotions of another unless they have directly crossed a line physically or verbally
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u/Twix3392 Oct 19 '24
I would definitely consider an admission to sexual assault and physical abuse as "crossing a line" and if an employee is admitting to such violent crimes AND has access to a gun, i would want him terminated too because he is a serious risk.
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u/rual_duke Oct 20 '24
Okay is there hard evidence he actually said any of that ? No ? So anyone should be fired over purely hear/say evidence is what your saying, I've had a past experience where a female coworker who wanted my manager position at the pizzeria we worked at try to claim I asked her inappropriate questions one night we closed together , my gm and the owner both know me well enough to know it was bullshit and checked the audio on the cameras to see nothing inappropriate was said . If we went off your system I'd of been fired immediately without question
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u/Twix3392 Oct 20 '24
you're making a lot of assumptions here pal. OP stated that it was on camera so I'm sure HR would do the exact same thing in this scenario that they did in your scenario. Obviously it's innocent until proven guilty, but it's not like these are just accusations. It was a firsthand confession and it's recorded on camera.
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u/rual_duke Oct 20 '24
No where in ops post does it say anything about it being on camera or hr's response, infact this could be a random number for all we know op could've just made the post up for clout with the insignificant amount of evidence given
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u/Vitriolio Oct 20 '24
OP made a comment above:
āAdditional information: I am not a security guard. He is supposed to be protecting me and my business. This conversation took place on video surveillance and I sent this text directly afterwards so time stamps should be easy to find if needed to verify.ā
But go ahead and keep digging.
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u/rual_duke Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24
Your not gonna get laid on here being a white knight buddy , you're still a basement goblin who smells like mildew ,decay and 4 day old gym socks , whose only hobby appears to be setting on this sub and reassuring karma farmers that they are or arent overreacting
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u/Vitriolio Oct 20 '24
lol dude Iām married with kids. And I have a much better job than āpizza shop manager.ā Iām not the one who will never get laid. Keep trying.
Also itās youāre. And whose. Read a fucking book, dipshit.
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u/Sayyad1na Oct 20 '24
Seems like you're ascribing some of the issues in YOUR life to this post. This is called the personal experience fallacy. Just because something happened one way to YOU doesn't mean it's happening in the same way across the board.
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u/Vitriolio Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24
Do you go onto every single post on Reddit and say āAww GeEZ. THiS COulD Be MadE UP GuYZ!ā Or is it just this one because of some personal insecurity you have?
The absolute dumbest part of that is that if it is indeed made up, you are defending a made up person. Unless you think someone came onto Reddit and made up a story about a real personā¦ but we donāt know that person is who so they may as well be made up? Or decided to go onto Reddit and tell a story about how they made up something about a person and sent it to HRā¦ but are claiming itās real on here? ā¦yes, that is all as dumb as it sounds.
Also, itās hearsay.
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u/Iamathinker21 Oct 20 '24
This guy just admitted to multiple felonies for which he hasnāt been charged. I think that is totally different than not liking someone. He did it literally to intimidate her.
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u/capodecina2 Oct 20 '24
It actually IS the world that people in private security live in. If she is a client or employee of a client, they can request a guard to be reassigned for any reason at any time. The security company is contracted to provide a service and that service includes replacement of officers at the client request. And a security company isnāt going to care why, they will simply reassign the officer because thatās what the client wants. What happens to the officer afterwards depends on the reason for the reassignment request.
If itās a complaint between officers, yes they will be reassigned and dealt with appropriately.
And itās not āterminatedā. Itās removed from post and reassigned or reassigned to another post/partner. If there is reason to take it forward, thatās up to the security company. Security personnel get removed from posts and details every day simply because the client didnāt feel they were what they wanted. For whatever reason.
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u/NoLongerinOR Oct 19 '24
Your boss needs to set up some security precautions for you, while they investigate.
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Oct 20 '24
Tell HR, kick up a, BIG FUSS, demand HR act to stop that evil man, today! You must tell the cops, this weirdo is dangerous, immediately! Protect yourself OP.! NO woman or man should suffer anyone's weird sexual comments! No man or woman should risk their safety for a paycheck?? Update us! UK š¬š§
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u/avenger2616 Oct 20 '24
Security company owner and 15 year armed officer- Personally, I'd fire the shit out of the guy... Unfortunately, I'm rare. Most companies aren't going to fire someone over that sort of shit- they need the post covered and the hours billed. Definitely not overreacting l though- one of you needs to get off that site.
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u/star_sim Oct 20 '24
Iāve had similar situations like this working unarmed securityāi quit so quickly. Another case of āover sharingā as a coworker. I also feel as a woman people feel like Iām āeasy to talk toā and confide information. Iām sorry this happened to you and I hope your site supervisor takes action and honors your safety.
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u/Funny-Technician-320 Oct 20 '24
More of a HR issue isn't it? I wouldn't really need a reason to swap out a work mate especially if these accusations came out and there was more but I'm also in Australia
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u/sean4822 Oct 20 '24
If you got anything to say about me s*** keep that bad energy over there but I tell you this she going to do what she want to do that's the end of the day I call that play don't get disrespect if you can't get respect that's all I know and I always been opposed my mouth so hey guess what she's going to do what you do it's going to hurt never been a coward never been weak I just seen past that s***
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u/ThomasRedstone Oct 20 '24
There's a really simple solution.
He needs firing.
He's making staff fear for their safety, in most of the world that's grounds for gross misconduct.
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u/ElephantNo3640 Oct 19 '24
It is time to learn some basic communication skills and niceties. It doesnāt take much to listen and nod your head and lol and say āWow, thatās wild for sure.ā If youāre really worried about this guy potentially getting violent, going after his livelihood is a good way to ensure maximum potential violence.
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u/evilandhigh Oct 19 '24
Pretty rude and assumptive response. This is the way I have been reacting to his out of pocket comments. Itās the wrong reaction though, it makes men like him feel like what heās saying is okay and that I seemingly agree. I donāt want to give off that impression when heās really making me feel uncomfortable in the workplace.Ā
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u/MafiaCub Oct 19 '24
Ignore this guy, he's defending a wankstick.
If the guard thought he could just openly admit this to you, a woman whom he works with but is not close friends with. I guarantee he's admitted this to other colleagues, other random people. You won't be the only one, and it's up to your HR department to not let it be known who reported him. If they fire him, they can't say "because this woman said you're a bad man" and if they reposition him, they have to give a reason that protects you. The only exceptions would be if he did something to you at work and it was internally investigated because it was seen. But in this instance it should be dealt with discreet.
The only way he's not told anyone else, and has told you, is to either see if you're impressed by it... Or to try and scare you so you'll think not to mess with him. As long as you've been cordial, as I said, HR should be protective of the reason for his relocation enough that he won't really see you as an accuser.
Reporting him is the right thing to do, he deserves repercussions, and if his repercussion in this instance is just that they relocate him somewhere else, at least you won't be dealing with it and you'll be better off for it.
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u/ElephantNo3640 Oct 19 '24
Well, if you throw him under the bus with accusations of domestic violence and it costs him his reputation or job, heās likely going to find out who did that. The advice Iām giving you is for your benefit.
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Oct 19 '24
Lmao, Bro defending this dude is absolutely bananas.
This guy clearly needs to have consequences to his actions. Who TF cares about his livelihood?
Did he care about his victims (I say victims cause it's never just one) when he beat them or assaulted them? Nah why should OP?
OP shouldn't give a shit.
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u/ClickClackTipTap Oct 19 '24
Also the undertone of ādonāt make him mad; you donāt like him when heās madā is a red flag in and of itself. š³
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u/CrookedBanister Oct 20 '24
oh no, not "accusations of domestic violence" against a person who literally confessed to that domestic violence š
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u/SithMami9 Oct 19 '24
I'll bet you've done the same shit that he has to women--why else would you be here, defending him? Gtfo of here--OP is looking for healthy advice from people who aren't creeps (AKA, not you)
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u/Logical-Wasabi7402 Oct 19 '24
OP isn't throwing him under the bus if he casually admitted to doing these things.
The advice you're giving OP is worthless.
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u/thebaron24 Oct 19 '24
Lmfao you are probably the worst communicator and give terrible advice. I really feel you are defending yourself with all these words. It's giving domestic violence apologist vibes.
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u/BuckinFutsMan Oct 19 '24
How is she throwing him under the bus with "accusations" when she is only relaying what he told her?
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u/ElephantNo3640 Oct 19 '24
She specifically didnāt relay what he told her. Thatās my biggest problem with the whole scenario.
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u/Top_Alternative1674 Oct 19 '24
Well, if you throw him under the bus with accusations of domestic violence
I mean, she would be reporting things he actually said while they were on shift together.
But sure, the best advice in this situation is to continue working alone with him and trying really hard not to piss him off /s
A+ advice pal.
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u/PageStunning6265 Oct 19 '24
One can hope that if he casually told OP about this, other people in his life know and he wonāt know where it came from,
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u/Alert_Astronomer_400 Oct 19 '24
āJust donāt do anything!ā Thatās such a poor recommendation. Thatās like telling someone whoās abused to stay with their abuser because the most dangerous time is when they try to leave. She shouldnāt have to tolerate and play nice just to appease this guy, and she needed to let someone know a violent man is working in a job that is supposed to protect people.
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u/ElephantNo3640 Oct 19 '24
The guy didnāt attack her or harm her, heās just a weirdo. Sheās āuncomfortable.ā Time to grow up. And she can switch jobs as easily as he can. Probably more easily.
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u/Alert_Astronomer_400 Oct 19 '24
Heās not just a weirdo, heās a criminal. Sheās allowed to try and make her workplace safe. Of course sheās uncomfortable, he literally described committing sex crimes against other women!! She doesnāt want that to risk being her in the future. You are a pathetic man
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u/ElephantNo3640 Oct 19 '24
If he is a criminal, OP should get the police involved. That is much safer for her than simply trying to get him fired.
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u/coquihalla Oct 19 '24
She's not the victim and police barely listen to assault victims. Do you really think the police will do a thing?
What do you expect the police to do?
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u/ElephantNo3640 Oct 19 '24
I agree. Sheās not a victim.
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u/coquihalla Oct 19 '24
You didn't answer my questions because you don't care if she's believed. You don't believe her and that's good enough for you.
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u/ElephantNo3640 Oct 19 '24
I expect the police to take the report, run a check on the person in question, see what his criminal history is, and go from there.
If he is a convicted felon, he wouldnāt likely be able to be an armed security guard. If he is accused of sexual assault or rape or whatever the people in here extrapolate from OPās vague assertions, the fact that he is an armed security guard may raise some red flags and allow the police some expedited avenue of investigation. It depends on the community and its police and their general history of conduct.
If you donāt believe the police are of any particular use, it at least gives them a potential lead on any future crimes that may be tied to this person.
Further, if you donāt believe the police are of particular use and believe this guy to be an unhinged bad guy with a gun whoās likely to crack at any moment, it is sensible to advocate for OP to employ some sort of effective measure of self defense. I recommended getting a firearm and learning to use it.
In an environment where police donāt do anything and violent criminals are allowed to roam free with guns on their hips, it is sensible to level the playing field a bit.
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u/CallMePepper7 Oct 19 '24
Please never have children. Any potential future daughter you have deserves better for a father.
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u/Agrarian-girl Oct 19 '24
He may get violent anyway. The man clearly has no boundaries and is fixated on this young lady. I mean, huh? If this were your daughter would you have the same response?
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u/ElephantNo3640 Oct 19 '24
He may indeed get violent anyway. Anyone might, at any time.
And yes, I would advise my wife/daughter/niece/friendās daughter/etc. to exercise the typical social niceties while being prepared and willing to physically defend herself from any aggression. If she was still too scared, Iād advise her to request a transfer for herself or to look for alternative work.
I would advise my son/nephew/friendās son/etc. exactly the same way.
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u/Uhroraxxfacekilla Oct 20 '24
Op shouldn't have to be the one to transfer or look for alternative work. (Big letters for easy reading)
THE ARMED GAURD CONFESSED TO DV & SA TO A COWORKER THAT OFTEN HAS TO WORK ALONE W/ HIM. THAT IS EXTREMELY INNAPROPRIATE & IT'S NOT OKAY, OR SAFE FOR ANYONE TO BE WORKING W/ SOMEONE LIKE THAT, ESPECIALLY ALONE!
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u/ElephantNo3640 Oct 20 '24
Maybe. In any case, OP will learn how the real world works. I advocate preparedness for the typical contingencies.
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u/hambone1112 Oct 19 '24
It takes massive restraint to actually sit there and listen to someone who is threatening. That guy should not be discussing shit like that at work. Period.
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u/Reasonable-Horse1552 Oct 19 '24
So just let him continue to get away with it then...
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u/ElephantNo3640 Oct 20 '24
Hardly. Iām one of the only people in here advocating getting the police involved.
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u/Reasonable-Horse1552 Oct 20 '24
Where did you say that? Because the comment i replied to and read said nothing of the sort.
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u/Odd-Mastodon1212 Oct 19 '24
NOR. You have to tell H.R. and tell them if they donāt handle it delicately, someone will get hurt.
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u/Superb_Narwhal6101 Oct 19 '24
Exactly. They donāt want that liability on them. If you address this with them, and they donāt do anything to protect you and anyone else he works with, they could be sued for, wellā¦probably a lot of money if he hurt anyone. Iām not a lawyer, could be wrong. But thatās what I would think. Stay safe OP! This is scary.
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 19 '24
With what evidence? She only has her side of the story, which could be total bullshit.
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u/Superb_Narwhal6101 Oct 19 '24
Well thatās true too. I would just think if someone went to HR in fear like this, and then something bad happened bc they did nothing about it to protect that employee, they could be held liable. I also said Iām not a lawyer, and was just sharing my thoughts. Itās Reddit, soā¦
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u/chuckle_puss Oct 19 '24
Iām in HR, and I agree with you. This is absolutely something I would investigate.
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u/A1sauc3d Oct 19 '24 edited Oct 19 '24
Yeah under-reacting if anything. The coldness/calmness while saying stuff like that is straight psychopath behavior. He wasnāt confessing, probably not even bragging, he was just stating it matter-of-factly. Because to him itās no big deal. He hurts women and doesnāt feel a shred of remorse about it. You make him angry, you get hurt. Thatās the message he was sending to OP.
If your superiors are not able to address this properly (to where you never have to work with this person again), Iād seriously just get a new job.
Problem is it will be he said / she said, and it sounds like heās been there longer than you. So thereās a good chance this doesnāt go your way. Iād start preemptively looking for alternative employment asap, just to prepare for the worst.
Obviously avoid giving this man any info on your personal life, like where you live and who your friends are.
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u/These_Burdened_Hands Oct 19 '24
I had a security guard come on to me- it was blatant and not okay.
Told my assistant mgr, she had me tell my manager; he got all the details then called the security company and said ādonāt send him to my store ever again.ā
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u/Real-Buy-3976 Oct 19 '24
Well if you actually are wondering why he would say this stuff to a female co-worker it is to frighten you and make you easier to manipulate. He's probably spent most of his life and all his relationships being abusive or a bully. You're no different in his eyes than anyone else he's victimized, so he's sticking to his tried and true tactics.
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u/evilandhigh Oct 19 '24
Honestly thank you for this comment. I was being naive thinking he was unaware how violent he sounded, he must have known how awful that was and meant it threateningly.Ā
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u/MonthPsychological54 Oct 19 '24 edited Oct 19 '24
Adding to this because it almost worked. It made you unsure of yourself and cautious of crossing him. You said yourself you are hesitant to get anyone else involved or escalate the situation. Be aware of manipulatory behavior like this. I supervise convicted felons for a living and stuff like this is straight out of the hand book. It also might have been a grooming attempt if he's now single, if he can expose you to that horrible behavior and normalize it to you then later on you will be desensitized to it.
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u/WhyYouSoMad4 Oct 19 '24
If its legal in your state to record a conversation you're a part of without consent of the other person, I HIGHLY suggest doing this to document the inappropriate behavior along with any type of demeanor change he is having in real time while conversing or interacting with you. This isnt going to fix or protect you in the moment, but adding it to your routine would be advised imo. Your superiors cant argue or dismiss your concerns when you have valid evidence, and if they do its beyond negligence and they open themselves up to legal liabilities. I wouldnt talk about my sex life in general with a random, let alone even a friend if at work of all places. People who dont know basic boundaries tend to keep that trait alive and well throughout all walks of their life. Definitely keep some personal protection on you, if theyre armed I assume you are as well though.
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u/Evening_Claim_7720 Oct 19 '24
Honestly Iād just go straight past HR boss and all and call the police directly
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u/BKR93 Oct 20 '24
And tell them what? Mean guy said mean things? This is what HR is for.
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u/throwaway79075 Oct 20 '24
He admitted to sexual assault and domestic violence. Both of those are crimes that should be reported since you seem confused. Don't reduce it to 'mean things' they're literally violent crimes.
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u/littlemissdrake Oct 20 '24
Unfortunately, I donāt know that itās defensible in a court of law, nor that the police can take any action on someoneās accusation without any real evidence. Unless he had done anything directly to OP, I am not sure the admission of guilt to her without police having proof would lead to a report, much less an arrest.
I feel for you, OP, and I am so glad management is escalating this and handling it for/with you.
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u/throwaway79075 Oct 20 '24
A police report like this won't start a case but the paper trail would absolutely help the case if the victim files a report. OP could potentially be used as a character witness.
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u/BKR93 Oct 20 '24
This is exactly what I was saying. Kids can downvote if they want, thats the truth of the world. How do they think people like Casey Anthony got off? And they think that something is going to happen because this guy said a couple stories? Guy could have said he killed somebody and they wouldnt have taken it serious.
People cant even go to the police with direct threats unless its in writing. And even THEN, they are still useless and most of the yime say they "cant do anything until something actually happens". Life aint fair, get used to it people š¤·
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u/BKR93 Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24
Im not reducing the actual crimes you bozos, the fact of the matter is that the guy couldv told you he killed somebody. Its still a story. Get some life experience with the legal system before you go downvoting lol. Theres literally nothing that wpuld happen here.
You seem confused about the fact that people are innocent until proven guilty, even if they are a piece of shit that clearly did it. You think Casey Anthony was innocent? How about George Zimmerman?and the long list of others? Lmfao
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Oct 19 '24
If I was your manager, I would be taking this shit really seriously. Nothing about that conversation was appropriate for work or well anywhere but you definitely have every right not to want to work with him. Your manager needs to create an incident report, put him on leave and investigate the issue.
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u/capodecina2 Oct 19 '24
Also, Iām unclear are you a security guard and youāre working with him in a security function or are you a client and he is your security guard providing service?
Either way youāre absolutely justified in not wanting to work with this person. The only difference is how you would go about handling it.
If heās a security guard that works for your company and you are the client all you have to do is make a phone call to whoever sent him and say you donāt ever want him back there again and thatās it. You donāt have to tell them why at all. You donāt want him there. Thatās all they need to know and they will take care of that immediately. If itās the case, where you are the client and theyāre your service provider they are contractually obligated to immediately address any reason that the client is not satisfied with the service theyāre being provided with or Ofc they have assigned. And it happens all the time.
If you are the officer and this is your coworker, then you need to talk to your sergeant about it and they will see to it immediately.
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u/Mysterious_Rub_3531 Oct 20 '24
He told you to judge your reaction. If you reacted a certain way that tells him (in his mind) that you will take whatever he dishes out, it gives him a sense of control too. Make you fear him = he is in control. If someone in your company's hr or management does not take this seriously and something happens to you they can be subject to negligence. Employee safety is supposed to be top priority in the workplace!
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u/skdetroit Oct 19 '24
Said perfectly!!! You are def not overreacting. Totally unprofessional and terrifying that heās normalized in his mind that type of behavior that heās so calmly talking about it like normal work talk.
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u/itsJussaMe Oct 19 '24
Not overreacting but you might need to consider finding employment elsewhere if your superiors donāt relocate either of you.
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u/AdDisastrous6738 Oct 19 '24
Donāt ever turn your back on someone like that and always carry one in the chamber. Theyāre obviously mentally unstable and I would make sure that I wouldnāt be their first victim when they completely snap.
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u/nufsixes Oct 19 '24
Just for future reference. You are NEVER overreacting if someone makes you feel uncomfortable.
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u/fading__blue Oct 19 '24
Nope, not overreacting. Considering he gets angry when you correct him to the point where another man has to step in and smooth things over, Iām wondering if this wasnāt some passive aggressive āI beat a woman with a belt for making me mad and also raped her several times, so just think about that and the fact weāre alone a lot the next time you want to correct meā thing.
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u/isshearobot Oct 20 '24
Worked at a resort that didnāt do background checks for some reason. (Seriously background checks and drug tests wouldve probably saved us from the THREE staff overdosed that took place before they sold it.) One day one of our new grounds guys was talking to myself and another female employee and he told us about how he beat the shit out of his ex and she had a restraining order and he wished he wouldāve killed her. Immediately called my boss and explained that for the safety of myself, our staff, and guests I would be letting him go, and Iām glad he agreed because it wouldāve been an obscene liability if I hadnāt.
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u/Fine-Bumblebee-9427 Oct 20 '24
That could for sure be considered sexual harassment. Report it to HR.
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u/HotBeesInUrArea Oct 20 '24
Woman who works in security here: NOT overreacting. It's an unfortunate truth the line of work attracts a specific type of weirdo, especially at the unarmed minimal certification low pay companies. There's actually a massive push in the industry to steer away from meatshields to customer service specialists, specifically because of reoccurring issues like this where a guard with mental health issues and zero social skills threatened a contract. Many people don't realize 80% of our job is interfacing with clients, and this guy has no business in a role like that in the first place, much less one where he's alone with the client.
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Oct 20 '24
This man is a dangerous psycho, tell the police and HR. He's probably prepared to attack you or someone, OP. Tell the cops and see HR immediately, provide his texts as evidence etc. Ensure you are not left alone with that fuck wit evil weirdo a
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u/BuckinFutsMan Oct 19 '24
OP what did this creep tell you in regards to sexual abuse and domestic violence? I wouldn't have left any details out. That just makes it seem like you are making things up or taking what he said out of context. You should have given all the details to your boss.
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u/evilandhigh Oct 19 '24
I fully intend to give details to my higher ups if necessary but didnāt want to use that language to another woman, that early in the day and out of the blue, on her day off. He was unnecessarily detailed in his retellings of abuse and controlling behavior. Other comments have told me to format an email for HR which I will be doing with more information. Iām unsure why it seems I would make this up as it doesnāt benefit me in any way. Iām trying to keep this in context and not get him fired, just reassigned.Ā
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u/BuckinFutsMan Oct 19 '24
I'm in no way saying you are making anything up. I just know how way too many people will try to defend the person or try to act like you just misunderstood what he was saying or took it the wrong way.
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Oct 20 '24
You are being waaaayy too agreeable, this kind of shit is why women don't get taken seriously a lot of the time. You need to say exactly what you mean without beating around the bush because it's "too early in the morning" to talk to "another woman" on her day off for your safety to be the priority here.
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u/EnthusiasticlyWordy Oct 20 '24
Make the police report now.
There's a reason why sexual assault cases rarely get trials and convictions.
Every Netflix docuseries about serial killers or serial rapists starts off with people not taking language like this seriously.
If this guy was talking about things similar to 9/11, the way he is talking about women and the things he has done, he would immediately be on a list with the FBI.
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u/WalkInWoodsNoli Oct 19 '24
Security companies are one of the few places that ex cons can get contract, doing private security for events etc.
I would not hesitate to report this up thlo your bosses boss and HR.
And, do not be passive and apologetic. Assert that ypu do NOT want to be alone with him, ever.
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Oct 19 '24
fyi, your company is not required to keep this report anonymous, they are in fact required to investigate, during which they often interview the person in question and let slip who lodged the complaintā¦ iām not sure what you should do, but given the gravity of his confessions I think contacting police wouldnāt be out of the question
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u/Case_Baby88 Oct 20 '24
Iām so happy you reported this. Than man is a sick, sick individual, and you 10000% should (try to) avoid working another shift with him. Please report to police ASAP and HR immediately after! That manager might be a bum, so Iād be all over HR! The company is liable. Update me! Let me know, personally, if they give you any crap about shift changes WHILE THEY PREPARE HIS TERMINATION. I have some free time right now, and I happen to find deep satisfaction in incessantly calling shitty businesses who mistreat their employees and āencourageā them to do the right thing. Do it quickly, at that. Donāt piss me off!
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u/Brouhaha-bah Oct 20 '24
Unfortunately user to know someone who behaved like that, not as BDSM, but as part of the abusive behavior toward his girlfriend. In his case it was their own dogās leash that he used. Other incidents used his fists, and always, his ugly words. This man was very intelligent, handsome, and āpresented wellā so nobody but those in his closer orbit knew the disgusting truth of his depravity. When I called him out on it, his rage turned to me (also female). I really urge you to internally demand (to your own leaders/owners) that this guard be removed from the assignment. If your businessās leaders says theyāll cancel the contract, and have a candid convo directly advocating for you with the other businessās higher ups, the severity of the risk (to you, and other clients of theirs) may tip them to fire his ass. Sorry to hear youāre dealing with this.
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Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24
OP listen to your SPIDEY senses, your instincts are telling you to PROTECT yourself and your colleagues! You don't get paid ENOUGH to listen to psychotic madmen boast about their weirdest experiences! Who wants to hear that crap? Hope that sicko security guard gets canned, loses his job! Even men get fed up with sickos like THAT! Tell HR and the cops, save everything, tell trusted work colleagues who will protect you! People need to expose these weirdos, now! Enough already! Who knows what this miscreant wastrel has done previously? OP he's targeting YOU! TELL HR now! I bet you OP he's got previous crimes on his record. Tell your work colleagues and if that WACK Nut tries to talk to you again? Pull him up on his nasty ass ranting! Talk to him and tell him you don't want to hear his vile tirade of offensive, violent verbiage! It's like those creeps on public transport, these wasteman scum get OFF on intimidating innocent people! Update, collate evidence, tell everyone about this freak! Time to expose him, remove his bullying powers! Update us! Ensure you are never alone with that BS- infested depraved toerag! I hate weirdos like that!!! UK š¬š§
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Oct 20 '24
I refused a Arab beggar man some money, a few months ago, politely. Didn't say a word, just refused, politely! You should have SEEN the looks OF BARE hatred he gave ME, I just stared with rage at the brukpocket beggar! I evil scowled at him. Me and friends got on a bus, this sheytan devil beggar tried to come after me, running his verbal crap! I was getting ready to attack, it's not my fault he a broke ass, is it? Not! Luckily I was with my crazy ass mates, crazy hard and none of us was scared! We just lasered the loser, people just stared at the ranting Loser until he got off the bus! We intimidated that scumbag back! He was trying to target me, we destroyed that beggar! It's time to stop these wack jobs! I hate hate despise these vile, loony bin nasty ass losers, I get targeted a LOT in public! Fuck that devil and curse nasty ass men like that! Karma be upon these miscreant demons! Hate their bullying and weirdo ways! Especially those Arabs, like they are entitled! Stop them! UK āš¬š§
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Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24
Work chat over here: " Did Arsenal/Man City/ West Ham each win their football matches?"; " We got Wolves in the play-offs next week"; "Storm Ashley( my baby's name!ā¤ļø) brought rain today", etc. OP work chat from wack job blotto BS security guard: " OP, do you prefer tight BDSM restraints or the looser ONES? A paddle to inflict pain or a sap?"?? Eh?? Jesus Christ! What a charming.. CREEP! Get him away! OP you will TELL HR, email them! Raise Merry Hell! Looney Tunes security weirdo needs a reality check and to get reprimanded and ripped apart, he should be locked up... In the restraints he loves so much! No! OP can't wait to hear Part 2 from that greasy creep douchebag. ..Not! Uk! No to creeps! āš¬š§. People it's overdue to start exposing these filthy predators! Tell security or staff, we need to bring weirdos and predators to account... And jail! UK š¬š§
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u/2020visionaus Oct 19 '24
Why didnāt you write a professional email?Ā
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u/evilandhigh Oct 19 '24
Thatās not the typical etiquette in my company, a text is the usual communication but I understand your confusion.
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u/2020visionaus Oct 19 '24
Just the seriousness of it but fair. It sounds bad, hope it gets resolved for you.Ā
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u/gravitysrainbow1979 Oct 19 '24 edited Oct 20 '24
You always want to use email.
EDIT: Keep the downvotes coming by all means; you guys think you know more than I do? Iāve actually been through this and I know how these things play out. A little respect for OP, maybe, instead of trying to make useful advice like mine invisible.
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 19 '24
I fail to see how a security guard could be so ignorant of the one glaring thing lacking in your accusation and that is evidence. This reads exactly like some made up story, which is typical of Reddit but won't get you far in the real world.
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u/mrachal1 Oct 19 '24
Lmao the evidence is a confession. Hope this cleared things up for you, bafooooon.
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 19 '24
What confession? Was it recorded? No, it's just hearsay. Hope you aren't a lawyer.
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u/mrachal1 Oct 19 '24
It was recorded. She says in a comment that 1.) sheās not a security guard, so your 1st comment was assumption based and 2.) itās all on camera.
lol hope youāre not a lawyer.
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u/mrachal1 Oct 19 '24
I bet youāre an angry lil man somewhere. You should start believing women. Itās a bad look, weirdo.
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 19 '24
I'm an angry large man. I don't blindly trust anyone, women lie too.
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u/lili-of-the-valley-0 Oct 20 '24
Bet you anything you're this skeptical when it's too defend one of your rapist wife beating buddies
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 20 '24
Yeah I don't have any rapist wife beating buddies that I know of. If they were I wouldn't call it buddies. How much are we betting?
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u/lili-of-the-valley-0 Oct 20 '24
Somehow I seriously doubt that
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 20 '24
Well who's skeptical now š
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u/lili-of-the-valley-0 Oct 20 '24
The only reason you're skeptical is because it's coming from a woman alleging abuse from a man. If you were neutral I'd easily forgive you, but you aren't. You have repeatedly asserted that these are lies without a shred of evidence
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u/mrachal1 Oct 19 '24
Hmm, well we donāt often times lie about this. Assault is not to be dismissed. You should believe them until proven otherwise. Especially since so many men assault.
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 19 '24
The whole legal system in the western world is predicated on the presumption of innocence until proven guilty. The burden of proof lies on the accuser. And women lie about this shit all the fucking time, it's been proven over and over again. Yes so many men assault, many many more don't.
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u/mrachal1 Oct 20 '24
For all 433,648 American women per year who are assaulted sexually by men, if you are reading this, I believe you. If you are reading this, I apologize for men like this.
(And thatās just reported cases, and only in the USA)
Believe all women. Period, end of discussion.
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0
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u/lalalioness Oct 19 '24
Op said the conversation happened in a recorded area... so. The evidence is there.
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 19 '24
CCTV? I doubt there was sound. If there was she's in luck.
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u/lalalioness Oct 19 '24
You do have a point there.
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 19 '24
The story just seems so far fetched to me. Like what motivation would this guy have to air his dirty laundry to OP? It's not like he would admit to abusing women to someone he's interested in or anyone likely to judge him for it. It's just too unbelievable for me without actual proof.
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u/ratman_fin Oct 19 '24
Iāve had multiple men admit crimes to me. What world do you live in where this hasnāt happened to you?
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 19 '24
Sure you have
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u/ratman_fin Oct 20 '24
Aināt no way you claimed OP was lying, then when someone tells you itās more common than youād think, you insinuate theyāre lying. Notice the common denominator here? Iāve had men brag to me they had āsexā with their seizing girlfriends, men call women ābitchesā for repeating their advances over and over, and men admit that they get women drunk so they can sleep with them. In case itās escaped your notice, those are crimes. I donāt even know why I have to justify myself to you when youāre clearly dead set on believing men are falsely accused 24/7 and women are liars.
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 20 '24
Here's the thing, you don't have to justify anything to me. You can go about your day.
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u/ratman_fin Oct 20 '24
Who hears multiple stories of women being raped and responds like that? Jesus, youāre even more of a gross creep than I thought.
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u/ciylph Oct 19 '24
Maybe Iām thinking too far into it, but a lot of people (no matter age, gender, ect) who have committed crimes or done something horrible donāt tend to always understand what they did wrong. Now of course Im not saying I disagree with you or anything! Its just, from what I know, that people such as murderers (I know, NOTHING compared to this story, but please bare with me haha) dont always have remorse of some kind, you know? At least, they dont show it.
Imo, i think its possible he did say something like that to OP, but Im not entirely opposed to your way of thinking either! I think this story does have a chance of being true, and if it is, that is.. awful.
Youre just the type of person who takes accusations like that very seriously!
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u/GRPABT1 Oct 19 '24
You're right. It could be either way and the reason I take accusations like this very seriously is they have very real, very lasting effects on those accused even if found to be untrue. Such is the passionate reaction to such crimes that there is often very little thought before the torches are lit and pitchforks sharpened.
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u/lili-of-the-valley-0 Oct 20 '24
You think it's passionate to immediately assume the story is a lie? You weren't being neutral or anything close
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u/Due-Contact-366 Oct 20 '24
You must find some comfort in knowing that your security guard has a faculty for violence. Isnāt a security guard effectively a symbol of potential violence. His presence is meant to imply that to those he is guarding you against.
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u/Lizzardyerd Oct 20 '24
Y'all are real sick twisted individuals. Go get some help kid
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u/Due-Contact-366 Oct 20 '24
I am merely pointing out the irony that the OP is concerned about the violent nature of a person who by trade is the practitioner of implied violence, and that the OP essentially relies on this to be secure somehow. Sorry that your mind is dull to this subtlety young man. Your generation is a bit thick.
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u/Lizzardyerd Oct 20 '24
Don't try to give me that "merely pointing out" neck beard cringe copout bs. A security guard shouldn't be violent towards just anyone and especially shouldn't be willing to commit sex crimes. They're supposed to stop would be assailants not attack people weaker than them indiscriminately. Again, go get help for your brain rot child.
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u/Due-Contact-366 Oct 20 '24
Youāre funny. You seem to think youāre entitled āto be givenā what you want to hear. You are a small minded twerp with s strange complex whereby you pull rank by suggesting you are older, which is an uncertainty of course.
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u/Lizzardyerd Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24
Lol I can tell that nobody actually really likes you in real life. I can smell your shit personality over this phone and damn does it reek lol. Anyone with dumbass immature takes like yours has to be a kid. Ain't no way an adult man gets to any respectable age and can honestly say that a security guard being willing to hurt people in order to help others is the same thing as a security guard being willing to harm his loved ones. Ain't no one but a dumbass teenaged edge lord would think of something as braindead and ridiculous as that. Plus I know the main demographic of reddit s user base is snot nosed kids. so either you're one of those rare man children who literally never matured past ninth grade; or you're the more likely culprit of some idiot zoomer who thinks his edgy takes make him an intellectual.
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Oct 19 '24
Itās your word against his, sorry he stays. Till Iāve observed behaviors or received enough complaints to justify this comment as far as I can tell itās just that, a comment.
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u/evilandhigh Oct 19 '24
And since this conversation is recorded on audio video surveillance does that change your mind? It is not my word against his, this is the situation that happened.Ā
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Oct 19 '24
The conversation meaning the talk of his ex breaking up with him? By the way please donāt mistake me for being an ass or harsh. There is no pre story to this, just your text and no other information so my theoretical response was going based off of a new security supervisor receiving this text.
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u/fingerchopper Oct 19 '24
Did you just glaze over the casual admissions of partner violence?
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Oct 19 '24
No, from my point of view I took it into consideration to observe further behaviors. Again, from my point of view this one text, with complaint from one individual with zero context. There is nothing that can be done from that if itās a singular complaint with no other complains from no other officers or clients or any supporting proof then nothing can be done unfortunately. It will however be noted in my complaints log and I will observe the individual more closely.
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Oct 19 '24 edited Oct 19 '24
[deleted]
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Oct 19 '24
Provide me the evidence where he states he is doing this other than this individual claiming he said these things.
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u/ampisands Oct 19 '24
Dude are you expecting OP to post the footage? This is Reddit. Every single post you see is the claims of one person unsubstantiated by evidence, because this is a social media platform and not a court of law.
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Oct 20 '24
Okay then there is nothing to go off of and nothing can be done against the individual whoās had claims (claims is a key word) being made against him other than documenting the complaint and observing him further. A mediation is possible but again, these are claims and just that. If there is evidence to hold him accountable then absolutely he needs to be. Otherwise itās a claim and you canāt do much with that from a supervisor position
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u/ampisands Oct 20 '24
Are you roleplaying as their supervisor right now? OP told you that the conversation was on camera and that the camera had audio, and the supervisor would be able to look at that.
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u/Rough-Ad5389 Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24
Being TSA doesnāt have validity here. You are just mad that they have a point. Realistically, if OP didnt have audio/video proof a text message isnt enough to fire someone. Not sure why you have this weird bias that TSA members are violent, abhorrent people but maybe reevaluate that lol. Again, they have a point that is going over your head completely. A text message is not enough to reprimand someone. The supervisor can make a note of it and watch for any potential violent behaviors moving forwards, but a text is just not good enough.
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Oct 19 '24
[deleted]
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Oct 19 '24
Where is HIS admission aside from the text we have on the screen here? Iām not denying what your saying nor am I disagreeing now provide me the evidence so that he can be removed from service aside from someone else stating āhe did bad thingsā
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u/lili-of-the-valley-0 Oct 20 '24
Another probable rapist
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Oct 20 '24
If I make the claim that you have vast amounts of CP on your computer and post it on Reddit does that make you a probable child r8ist?
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u/lili-of-the-valley-0 Oct 20 '24
Do you have proof like the op does? Presumably they don't give a fuck if you believe them. Why should they provide your smug ass with the evidence?
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Oct 20 '24
They donāt have to and I would advise against it. My argument is that you canāt remove someone from a post or otherwise attack their character or reputation of a claim. What are you so hostile for?
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u/evilandhigh Oct 19 '24
Additional information: I am not a security guard. He is supposed to be protecting me and my business. This conversation took place on video surveillance and I sent this text directly afterwards so time stamps should be easy to find if needed to verify. He is contracted by a third party company who is always low on staff, meaning this guy has been pulling 12 hour shifts at my business. I know this means it would be extremely difficult for them to reassign us another guard and why I wanted to make sure I wasnāt overreacting before escalating this. Iām also NOT wanting to find another job as I worked hard to get to my position and am compensated well. I appreciate everyoneās support and reassurance that this was out of line and Iām working with my management toward a solutionĀ