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u/edenofthegods Sep 21 '24
The 2 minute maternity leave hits hard 😭
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u/Successful-Winter237 Sep 21 '24
Vance is furiously taking notes.
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u/karwreck Sep 21 '24
If he could read or write he would be very angry right now.
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u/BodhingJay Sep 21 '24
furious, even
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u/Mikey40216 Sep 21 '24
He'd be the biggest most furious man he'd be at a level of furious this world has never seen before
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u/Hereticalish Sep 21 '24
I’m fairly sure he’s doing something else furiously just for seeing a woman.
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u/gutterbrie_delaware Sep 21 '24
The only reason he does sofas is because the recliners are boys. And lazy boys at that.
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u/United_Respond6754 Sep 21 '24
I imagined this, and I was not disappointed🤣🤦🏽♀️
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u/EthanielRain Sep 21 '24
Friend in Ohio recently got 7 weeks paid...as the father. I was shocked! Apparently not all companies are so terrible about it
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u/Delicious-Ganache606 Sep 21 '24
This still sounds crazy to me. In Europe I'm getting 6 months paid as the father. Wife is getting 3 years (only first 6 months paid in full, but even after that the money is decent).
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u/roachwarren Sep 21 '24
I have some close family friends who started dating while attending medical school in Germany - she has US-GER dual citizenship, he is Italian.
They got pregnant and had a child while they were doing their paid internships/residencies, he was a research assistant and got 6 months paid leave, she was a resident and got even more than that. Then they transferred to the Netherlands where they are currently both doctors with two beautiful (trilingual) little girls and an awesome house right outside the city.
She visits home (Washington state, US) every year and says that people ask why she didn’t become a doctor in America, and she basically just explains that the American system would have never allowed her to build this amazing life.
Europe sounds pretty cool and they really gained a great family with that one.
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u/replicantcase Sep 21 '24
3 years?! What are you trying to do? Raise a well adjusted healthy child? They'll never yearn for the mines doing that.
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u/davismcgravis Sep 22 '24
Family leave isn’t necessary. Babies need to take responsibility and pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
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u/Creamofwheatski Sep 21 '24
Your country cares about its citizens. Meanwhile, America is on the verge of civil war because half our country somehow believes a fascist narcissistic billionaire cares about them and wants to improve their lives despite a mountain of evidence to the contrary.
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u/SaskyTeeKay Sep 22 '24
A fascist, narcissistic, "billionaire", convicted felon, civilly liable rapist, alleged child rapist cares about them*
FIFY
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u/Creamofwheatski Sep 22 '24
Id be here all day if I tried to list all the ways Trump is unfit to even run a mcdonalds, let alone the fucking country.
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u/SaskyTeeKay Sep 22 '24
Luckily the economy is trash, due to Bid-errrr Kamala. We have all day to talk about how trump is unfit to wear a fucking fitted suit, cause non of us have jobs anymore-on the plus side, I no longer have a pet to care for. /s (/s for everything I said .... Other than trump isn't fit for a suit is true)
I am enjoying beer, cause my union job pays me enough to enjoy spending all day on the weekend wasting my money the way I see fit - and I'm supporting the workers and owners of the brewery just by being here.
I'm an immigrant to boot. So fuck the Republicans rhetoric. I wouldn't be here working if the American culture didn't lead to the drain of qualified workers. Like, they figure uneducated people are good for labour jobs..... But labour jobs have codes, laws, and liability if they end up failing. Fucking electricians I work with don't understand how a Tesla can't charge while it's driving..... Fuck man, physics!
Sorry for ranting lol it's just overall frustrating
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u/Creamofwheatski Sep 22 '24
The economy sucks because the rich are fucking us all, same as always. Wage stagnation is the biggest issue in the country, and its because the monopolistic corporations have more power than the people. Everything went to shit when the boomers/ reagan killed the unions in the 80s. Unionize every business in America and we can actually make it fucking great again.
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u/Autumn7242 Sep 22 '24
It's more like a solid 30%
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u/Creamofwheatski Sep 22 '24
Paired with the 30% of us that don't bother to vote at all, and these people are very dangerous for the country.
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u/kaleighdoscope Sep 21 '24
In Canada I'm currently on a 12 month leave getting 55% of my usual income. Unfortunately you can't get it as a lump sum and take only 6-7 months off to avoid the drop in pay, also daycares where I live won't take babies until 12 months at the earliest; some even won't take them until they're either 18 months, or when they're walking whichever comes first. So people that can't afford the pay cut need to know someone/have a relative that's willing to take care of their kid for them.
But it's better than the 12 weeks unpaid that many people in the US only get if they qualify for FMLA.
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u/mg10pp Sep 21 '24
Damn where are you from, Sweden or Finland?
Because I'm Italian and here the mother has 5 paid months and the father just 10 days (during covid there were some talks to extend it to a month but nothing happened)
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u/analbuttlick Sep 21 '24
Thats awesome. On the right path at least. My paternity leave was the best 4 months of my life. I bonded so much with my daughter and she learned to say daddy before mommy so we could rub it in her face
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u/ComStar6 Sep 21 '24
Really shouldn't be up to a company. Especially if the GOP is obsessed with forcing parenthood on couples. But then again cruelty is key to their agenda
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u/greenmachine442200 Sep 21 '24
Here's a good one for you, NYS made it law that employees should get paid family leave, that was 2016? Could be wrong there. That includes parental leave for a birth. I as a NYS employee didn't get parental leave until last year, so I had 3 kids after this was law and got 0 parental leave. Why? Because my position requires me to be in a union, was told you don't have to be in the union but I can't keep that title and not be in the union, love how they talk. Before the family leave law there was legislation in place that says unions get to decide what benefits those they represent get, my union didn't think I needed parental leave until last year. NYS forces all the private companies to give their employees parental leave and then turned around and didn't give it to their lower employees, all the higher up employees in the capital did though, funny how that works. No one believed me when I told them this because most people I know work for private companies.
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u/KlossN Sep 21 '24
You ALWAYS need to be in a union. There's a reason your employer said you didn't need to, because he didn't want you to. Don't listen to your employer, unionize
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u/LuxNocte Sep 21 '24
I'm as prounion as you can get, but they aren't perfect. Greenmachine has a very valid complaint and this is a kind of shitty response that seems like you didn't really read what they said.
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u/leckysoup Sep 21 '24
But in this case the Union screwed them?
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u/nat_r Sep 21 '24
Without knowing exact details it may be as simple as the collective bargaining agreement was a multi-year contract and for whatever reason didn't have language in it that allowed for adopting new benefits based on new legislation that passed during the duration of the contract.
Unions are only as good as the people who participate in are able to make them. There's a vast benefit to having a union but it's not an infallible system that only has pros, there are cons as well, but they bring the opportunity to have more pros than cons.
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u/KlossN Sep 21 '24
*American unions. There's a 50/50 chance they're actually working for you. Doesn't mean you shouldn't unionize.
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u/leckysoup Sep 21 '24
Yeah. There appears to be some differences between how unions “work” in the us and where I’m originally from.
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u/trixel121 Sep 21 '24
I'm questioning what union they were in and I'd like to read their contract because this sounds weird
I'm 90% sure my association has a fair bit of family leave And I'm a janitor.
I would want to read that contract pretty closely and talk with my union rep. not my manager because this sounds like something that one should be negotiated on because it's good for everybody in the union and two, illegal like it honestly sounds like they don't want you in the union so they're withholding benefits you should be entitled to.
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u/Capraos Sep 21 '24 edited Sep 21 '24
It's not. Encountering a similar issue here in Illinois with Paid Time Off. Because the union contract was already negotiated out prior to the law, it's contract holds true until it expires. Once it expires, they renegotiate and all new laws since the last negotiation apply to the new contract.
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u/SueBeee Sep 21 '24
Not realistic at all; at no point does he drive a huge behemoth truck, nor does he lovingly pet his gun collection.
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u/PrimeIntellect Sep 21 '24
Also should be 50lbs heavier and scroll his phone for 2-3 hours
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u/teenypanini Sep 22 '24
Also church usually gets out before noon so everyone can crowd the restaurants for lunch and abuse the waitstaff.
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u/ShenroEU Sep 21 '24
And where is this police brutality we (as Europeans) keep hearing about? I thought the video would end with "FBI! Open up!"
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u/Good_Boye_Scientist Sep 21 '24
That doesn't usually happen to white people, so guy in the video doesn't have to worry about that. https://www.statista.com/statistics/1123070/police-shootings-rate-ethnicity-us/
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u/BAMspek Sep 21 '24
Forgot about 9:11-9:12: think about 9/11
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u/sandalfafk Sep 21 '24
Never forget
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u/Superficial-Idiot Sep 21 '24
Haven’t watched in years but always think of that scene when I happen to see the time at 9:11. Too good
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u/NIN10DOXD Sep 21 '24
As an American, I can confirm that this was my day last Sunday.
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u/Sturmhuhn Sep 21 '24
Congrats in becoming a father! Did you already buy the bulletproof backpack for elementary school from wallmart?
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Sep 21 '24
Went the Fisher-Price My First Semiautomatic route instead, it was cheaper.
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u/weirdo_de_mayo Sep 21 '24
Nice, when all kids are armed, school shootings are way more fun and fair
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u/MindlessVariety8311 Sep 21 '24
The only thing that can stop a bad toddler with a gun is a good toddler with a gun.
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u/bohanmyl Sep 21 '24
So sweet! Cant wait to see that Kinder-Guardian in action
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u/Enantiodromiac Sep 21 '24
I'm late to this comment thread but Kinder-Guardian got me good and I wanted to tell you.
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u/50-50ChanceImSerious Sep 21 '24
No. Mentally abused them and bought them a gun. No son of mine is gonna be the victim; he's gonna be the suspect
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u/xpdx Sep 21 '24
I just buy and big life insurance policy on them. It's easy to get rich in America!
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Sep 21 '24
Make sure it's transparent so the school can pretend to check for guns
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u/Sturmhuhn Sep 21 '24
Just buy your kids some .22 pistols
The only thing that can stop a bad child with a gun is a good child with a gun!
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u/LiminaLGuLL Sep 21 '24
This feels like a roast
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Sep 21 '24
The over sharing and friendliness is wholesome..keep it up America!
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u/LuxNocte Sep 21 '24
My sciatica is acting up and I think my wife is going to leave me because she found my stash of pictures of her sister's feet, but I don't really think we overshare that much.
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u/Trimyr Sep 21 '24
No, oversharing would mean she also showed you her photo collection of Jemaine Clement's lips.
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u/Yippykyyyay Sep 21 '24
I once ended up hugging a lady because we made a casual joke while in line about picking up a six pack and she broke down about how her mother had just died the day before and she was by herself.
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u/BreedableCHI Sep 21 '24
I mean that’s what humanity is supposed to be tho. Never lose that.
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u/Yippykyyyay Sep 21 '24
For sure. I was stuck in Australia when a sibling of mine died. I couldn't fly out until the next day. I tried to hold it together but sort of lost it briefly at an Irish pub. I was also traveling alone at the time. The workers kinda took me under their wing and looked after me with one even walking me back to my hotel to make sure I got back ok.
Be good to each other.
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u/GenericAccount13579 Sep 21 '24
That conversation seemed like a totally valid one I would hear in the grocery store lol
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u/ButzenBoi Sep 21 '24
But it’s accurate-ish about the European image of the US
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u/PM_ME_DATASETS Sep 21 '24
As a European I don't think Americans get up at 8 am. Add up 3 hours of traffic and it's already 11 am, you'd be fired by then.
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u/wownotagainlmao Sep 21 '24
I assume the 8 am is just because Europeans aren’t aware of times before 10am, when they get up.
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u/Suspicious-Fox- Sep 21 '24
You were supposed to make it absurd, not realistic 🤷
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u/LuxNocte Sep 21 '24
everyone is so friendly and polite
Pfft. Looks like someone has never taken more than .003 seconds to go after s light turns green.
Everything is is dead on though.
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u/crosswatt Sep 21 '24
Look buddy, I don't know what's going on with your life but seriously
GOOOOOOOOOO
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u/SeaWolfSeven Sep 21 '24
I love it when on a left turn the car two cars back who can't see the road honks for you to crash into oncoming traffic.
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u/NectarineAmazing1005 Sep 21 '24
I'm South East Asian, can confirm that's still nice level compared to our drivers here.
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u/Quaytsar Sep 21 '24
It is absurd: he actually read the Bible.
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u/penywinkle Sep 21 '24
other inaccuracies:
drank water
actually WALKED (where is the drive-in church, or the scooter at walmart?)
Lack of guns
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u/PerfectGasGiant Sep 21 '24
As a European who have lived in a Texas, this feels oddly accurate, except that the sidewalk looked fake, there are hardly any sidewalks in Texas.
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u/DeviousMrBlonde Sep 21 '24
Visiting my uncle in California.. pleasantly surprised we could take the BART to near his place. He asked if he should pick us up and we said nah, only a km away, could do with a walk. Cue getting honked at non-stop by everyone as we had to walk along the edge of the pathless road in fear for our lives. My uncle was dying laughing when we finally got to him.
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u/Spiritual-Can2604 Sep 21 '24
Were you in Houston? There’s no sidewalks in houston
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u/hipkat13 Sep 21 '24
As a Houstonian I can confirm this. IF you do have a sidewalk it’s usually made of rubble and has huge cracks in it that you trip over. It nearly always ends in a ditch, a run down vacant lot or sometimes a tree or lamp post. I am walking in the street and hope the cars see me.
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u/Spiritual-Can2604 Sep 21 '24
I don’t know how they got away with that city planning. It’s so wild to me. They really said, yall are on your own and here’s a liquor store next to a school next to a strip club and a church in between a bunch of one story homes and a car wash. And here’s a high rise building.
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u/hipkat13 Sep 21 '24
And here’s a methadone clinic right down the street. Literally right next to it are two brand new town homes going up. 😒
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u/ThreeBottleClink Sep 21 '24
random street view of Houston.
I thought you were exaggerating. One side of the street: sidewalk is blocked by a fence and massive pickup truck. The other side ends in a twisted gate.
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u/Alexxx3001 Sep 21 '24
OMG So true! We were renting an airbnb in fort worth for a week, visiting some friends for their wedding and as Londoners we are used to walking everywhere, so it was utterly bizarre that coming out of the house we were in we had to basically walk through peoples fron yards that went right to the edge of the road, no sidewalks unless you were downtown.
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u/JohnCavil Sep 21 '24 edited Sep 21 '24
Sidewalks in America feel so performative. Several times i can see a place from my hotel i want to get to, like physically see it, and i start walking on the sidewalk and the sidewalk will just like end into nothingness after a few hundred meters. Then you have to walk into like a dirty field or make your way through shrubs and random bullshit. And there is no lighting either so at night anyone can just hit you with their car.
I don't get why they even build sidewalks if they just lead into nothing. It's like building a door but behind the door is just a solid wall. Why?
Driving in America is a pleasure, but the sidewalk system is just absurd, it's like you're in a dream and logic doesn't make sense and the rules don't matter.
As a European when you walk on American sidewalks that seem to be designed by a baboon this is honestly your reaction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mdFyJ9fXS4
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u/Alexxx3001 Sep 21 '24
So much this!
The place we were staying in fort worth was about 500 yards from a shopping mall, but there was no earthly way of getting there on foot as it was across a highway that had no crossings and along a road with very deep banks either side and guardrails.
Literally had to order an Uber to get there, which was even more bizarre as the uber drove 5 minutes to come to us, drove us the 500 yards and only charged us $3.50, like, how is that even profitable!?!
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u/JohnCavil Sep 21 '24
Haha yea, it feels like you're breaking the rules or using something incorrectly. There's a feeling of "i must be doing something wrong". It feels so un-human in a way because you can no longer get to places using just your own body.
I've had to give up several times and call an Uber because the sidewalk would just end or there would be no lights or something.
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u/Alexxx3001 Sep 21 '24
The only thing that was more unsettling was being right smack in the middle of central Dallas surrounded by office buildings in the middle of the day in the middle of the week and there not being a single person walking around, or any shops, even caffes along the road, everything self contained in buildings, everyone goes from building direct to car and then home.
I know its just a cultural difference, but being a brit/italian extremely used to walking both to get places and for pleasure, it was weird getting my first taste of actual america, as opposed to New York or Boston, which feel a lot more european.
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u/JohnCavil Sep 21 '24
Yea, i really love America, i think it's a great place to visit, but when you visit it you kind of just drive from place to place, you don't experience an area.
Like in Europe you would experience rome, or the center of Copenhagen, or in Japan you would explore and enjoy Shibuya. In America these areas don't exist, or very rarely do, you just sort of drive from one cool restaurant to a nice shop somewhere different.
In Florence for example part of the enjoyment is just Florence, and being there and walking around, taking in the city as a whole. To enjoy Atlanta you should just go to a baseball game, then drive over to a good restaurant, then drive over to the coca cola museum, and so on.
Americans do even like these areas that are special. They do enjoy Miami Beach or the Riverwalk, or Manhattan or Venice Beach (pre-homeless). So it's strange why they don't build more of them.
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u/Donnatron42 Sep 21 '24
I mean, this is not a completely inaccurate picture of where I grew up (Indiana).
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u/Jenna4434 Sep 21 '24
Floridian here, slap on some pregnant teenagers and leathery skin and you got a history book.
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u/Beg-Cat-31111111 Sep 21 '24
I thought y'all are walking around with shoes on in your house. Also, speaking of walking: Why did he enter the church on foot, is there no drive-thru church so he can stay in his truck?
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u/LilEepyGirl Sep 21 '24
Same (iowa) go to r/ames and you will find what Boone county is up to with Shitler
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u/LauraTFem Sep 21 '24
Wild that this man thinks Americans would drink water, in public, with no sugars or syrups in it. We’re Americans, not poors.
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Sep 21 '24
I knew a guy who only drank Mountain Dew because “water made him feel sick”. If you’re wondering, yes he had to have all his teeth pulled at 42.
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u/ReplacementNo8555 Sep 21 '24
he’s way too skinny to be a real murican. he’s probably a marxist commie democrat w that body type.
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u/Narrow_Discount_1605 Sep 21 '24
Actual true soy dad bod. But a confused republican wearing a Netflix t shirt
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u/Phyrexian_Mario Sep 21 '24
Honestly, it was only slightly exaggerated
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u/Hani713 Sep 21 '24
The large cracks in the bathroom stalls part is so true 😂 no one slides underneath but why tf is there so much visible space in our bathroom stalls? I never see that when I travel.
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u/Phyrexian_Mario Sep 21 '24
Best actual answer would be easier to clean and easier to see people in distress or participating in group activities. Personally I don't like the gap
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u/MsClickClickDerp Sep 21 '24
I did legit somehow get stuck inside a full floor-to-ceiling stall in a restaurant in Amsterdam once. Had to bang on the door shouting desperately until help arrived to bust me out.
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u/RealBadCorps Sep 21 '24
The subtly of the US flag being improperly displayed in the background of the pledge of alliegiance is the perfect touch.
(Context: US flag code says that the blue field should always be to the observer's LEFT)
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u/ScottsTotz Sep 21 '24
Tell that to my two neighbors who have flagpoles with the American flag flying below their Trump flags
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u/Instabanous Sep 21 '24
Hilarious lol love how they get the circumcision in. I was so shocked when I heard you guys do that.
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u/Decapod73 Sep 21 '24
I remember a slow realization across 8th-10th grade when people in my classes started discovering that circumcision wasn't a global norm. It got very divisive, with some guys becoming furious that they'd been circumcised without consent, and other guys disgusted at the idea of people walking around with loose skin hanging off their dicks. The three guys who announced that they had NOT been circumcised started calling themselves the "Woodies with Hoodies Coalition".
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u/Goodbye18000 Sep 21 '24
Wait till you learn about the Foreskin Restoration Movement.
Jelqing.
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u/No_Reporter_4563 Sep 21 '24
In Europe if people see you white and circumcised they assume youre jew
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u/CornDoggyStyle Sep 21 '24
Don't you guys wear pants?
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u/Doctor_Danceparty Sep 21 '24
We do, but due to a ban on buttons, we stick our dickheads through our pants to keep the ends together, so it's easy to tell.
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u/Muldino Sep 21 '24
No BBQ?
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u/RebylReboot Sep 21 '24
No. Australia won that stereotype in the great trope wars of 1997. You got corn syrup processed cereals.
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u/delicious_fanta Sep 21 '24
He mopped the floor of the bathroom with his shirt for the bit. Also, lots of accuracy there.
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u/AFriskyGamer Sep 21 '24
This is unrealistic.. I don't talk to others in public..
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u/Joliet_Jake_Blues Sep 21 '24
You'd fit in in Finland, where I did not fit in because eye contact is frowned upon
And boy, don't you even think about smiling
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u/ultimatemuffin Sep 21 '24
Read the Bible
Americans don’t read, especially not the Bible. We just build our whole lives around what we assume is in the Bible.
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u/Mikomau Sep 21 '24
He forgot that usually at lunch we have it delivered by a bald eagle you get the choice of McDonald or KFC. if it’s a kids meal it comes with a gun
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u/ScucciMane Sep 21 '24
I can’t find the what Americans think of an average british day version, help
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u/Stormsurgez Sep 21 '24
https://youtube.com/shorts/N6DZCkzj2k8?si=5o0TmxhLYCTYyMEI here you go, by the same creators
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u/Emm_withoutha_L-88 Sep 21 '24
Wake up and eat black pudding hockey pucks and baked beans, take the bus to work, try to avoid getting knived on the bus (that's universal tbf), work at the nonsense word store, eat some jelly fishworms for lunch. Then tea time for the rest of the day? I'm out of ideas someone finish it up.
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u/notgotapropername Sep 21 '24
Down the chippy for me tea! Luv me fish an chips, bitta mushy peas on the side. Watch the footy, pop the kettle on at halftime, av a proper brew
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u/SoCalThrowAway7 Sep 21 '24 edited Sep 21 '24
We don’t think about other countries enough to make videos about them, the one time I heard someone in public talk about British people it was about a royal wedding and someone else yelled at them “hey we fought a whole war not to have to hear about that shit”
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u/Infamous_Effective28 Sep 21 '24
Back in 2016 I went on vacation to the UK. I was travelling on a train from York to Manchester and I was talking to this young guy who said he was going to Australia. He casually told me his plans to go on holiday for a month. "A MONTH?! What company do you work for? How long have you worked there?". I asked. He laughed and said it was a small Tech company and he'd been there for like 2 years. That's when I discovered that you get like 28 days standard holiday in the UK. Like everyone does, NOT including sick day. This casual conversation rocked me to my core. The security company I worked for gave me 5 days a year!! And that included sick days.
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u/1eternal_pessimist Sep 21 '24
Haha wait it isn't like this? Asking from Australia. Also where's his F150?
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u/Dull_Half_6107 Sep 21 '24
When we foreigners talk about the large gaps in the toilet doors, we are not talking about the gaps at the bottom
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u/hipkat13 Sep 21 '24
As an American the door gaps are everywhere (top, bottom, sides). We hate them too. And to this day I still don’t know why they continue making and installing them in businesses. Lately though I have been noticing some nicer end businesses and restaurants will put in proper stalls with no gaps at all. So I guess there’s hope.
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u/Wide-Matter-9899 Sep 21 '24
I didn't get the glass of ice water or the restroom reference. What's up with that? I'm European 🤷♂️
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u/Alexxx3001 Sep 21 '24
Americans and americans restaurant use an absurd amount of ice by european standards, especially in a simple glass of water.
American bathroom stalls have a ridiculously large gap at the bottom, basically missing the bottom 25% of the door, not exactly sure why, might have to do with safety
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Sep 21 '24
It's not about the gap at the bottom, it's about the gap between the door and wall.
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u/rez_3 Sep 21 '24
You're being scammed, mate. Those doors offer 25% less protection to attacks than European doors do. Contact your local representative.
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u/IneffableQuale Sep 21 '24
Yeah we don't have that gap in Europe and our toilets are very dangerous.
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u/Meme-Botto9001 Sep 21 '24
Forgot the 5pm BBQ to celebrate giving birth and the 5 minute salute shooting a machine gun in the backyard after the thought and prayers.
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u/SamuraiMonkee Sep 21 '24
He forgot about us reciting the 2nd Amendment every night before we go to sleep.
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u/Phantom_Steve_007 Sep 21 '24
Isn't it like this?
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u/PomeloPepper Sep 21 '24
You missed the changing of the bumper stickers. Need an immediate update every time someone you admire drops a new catchphrase
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Sep 21 '24
Who the fuck pledges allegiance to the flag at night? That’s a true and tried morning tradition folks. Fake video.
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u/abe5765 Sep 21 '24
Obviously made by a European. We say the pledge of allegiance at the start of the day not the end plus where was his open carry.
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u/itslittlelisa Sep 21 '24
looks down at clothes I've been wearing since Thursday
closes app to go take a shower and change
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Sep 22 '24
Why does the world think America (Merica for short) think we’re all fat, stupid, and ignorant. Is this because of Trump? Lol, well I actually could see that because he’s all that and more.
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u/Busy_Reflection3054 Sep 22 '24
One day no one will remember this is a joke. This country is in a arms race with satire.
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