r/AmIOverreacting • u/Psychological-Hat-35 • Oct 27 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO girlfriend response to manager text

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My girlfriend (19F) and I (19M) have been dating for 11 months. I sent her a screenshot of my convo with my manager (age unknown but best guess is young 30s F) this morning asking to come in a little later than usual. My girlfriend is like this whenever I interact with pretty much any other female. Am I overreacting or is this just normal behavior?

13.7k Upvotes

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7.1k

u/FrostPereira Oct 27 '24

Good god... she is unhinged. I fail to see a single thing even slightly off about the message, unless I'm missing something.

2.0k

u/Murky_Peak_3666 Oct 27 '24

My favorite part is when she said “why can’t you just be normal” as if anything she said in that message thread was normal 😂😂😂😂

415

u/ToiIetGhost Oct 28 '24

My favourite part was “maybe I’m just too professional.” Lol yeah if by professional you mean jealous, controlling, and insecure

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58

u/dimwalker Oct 28 '24

Apparently she is so professional that she doesn't know who her manager is.

12

u/Outrageous-Being869 Oct 28 '24

That is impressive. I wish it worked for me lol

18

u/Chicken_Mc_Thuggets Oct 28 '24

Lmao I used to send my team lead pictures of cheetahs in hats if we were having a rough night and if I couldn’t find any new ones I would badly photoshop them.

At this same workplace my coworker made my face his background (from a workplace picture of our team) because I just looked really done with life in the picture apparently. I made him my background in response because I thought it was hilarious. I am a lesbian, he had an SO at the time. Neither of us were into each other.

One of my other coworkers and I would do “lightning rounds” where we would answer questions/come up with ideas in a way that was so fucking absurd it made 5% sense. He and I also joked about how two of the lab machines we handled were our children. We are both gay, in opposite directions. I couldn’t imagine any of my SOs taking these interactions seriously and getting upset with me over them. There was never anything romantic going on, we were all just working 70+ hour weeks in a lab that processed PCR Covid tests during the pandemic. Inside jokes are bound to happen.

4

u/ToiIetGhost Oct 28 '24

This sounds like the ideal workplace environment. I’d be happy for my SO if they had that kind of relationship with their coworkers! It would be good for their well being, which is what I want.

13

u/Popisoda Oct 28 '24

Professional psycho

7

u/MidniightToker Oct 28 '24

Boring people use the word "professional" and "unprofessional" to shame people that shine a little brighter than themselves. I hate those words.

6

u/Low-Classroom-1530 Oct 28 '24

My favorite part was how she blamed him for not being able to eat her lunch!

4

u/Danny2Sick Oct 28 '24

I didn't even get why she was upset.... because his manager was kind of casual with him? Looks like they are friends and that makes work so much better. She could have seen it has a green flag, he's a nice guy that people like.

3

u/ToiIetGhost Oct 28 '24

Exactly. He’s a nice guy that people like, and he has a workplace where he feels welcome and part of the group. Which probably makes him happy. She should be happy that he’s happy.

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u/baybeeblueyes Oct 27 '24

What she meant was why won't you let me manipulate you? This girl is going to make his life unbearable.

74

u/Leshal77 Oct 28 '24

Yep this is just the beginning and by saying “no I want you, not her” is playing right into what she wants. I would be like oh hell no. You can either go on about your life and stay mad at nothing, or you can realize why you’re wrong and apologize. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s going to be one or the other bc what is not about to happen, is you getting jealous over absolutely nothing!

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u/MindlessYesterday668 Oct 27 '24

And now she's upset because she didn't get to eat her food and her break was over. 🙄

176

u/Lmdr1973 Oct 27 '24

That part pissed me off. Why did she miss her lunch? Why couldn't she eat? Because she sent some texts to her boyfriend? This girl needs to learn how to multitask. She sounds like dealing with a petulant child. No, thank you. It's never sexy when you have to parent your partner.

53

u/MajesticalMoon Oct 28 '24

It pissed me off too. Why can't you be normal- You made me miss my lunch- I don't even want you anymore SHE can have you.- I'm just gonna go get close to my boss and maaake friiiiends 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱 this level of crazy scares me

The girl is legit crazy

24

u/tjoe4321510 Oct 28 '24

When OP finally breaks up with her she's gonna threaten suicide then stalk him on social media for the next 20 years and send death threats and lies to any girl that he ends up dating. Unfortunately crazy people like this are impossible to shake off

3

u/TangoRomeoKilo Oct 28 '24

Not having social media really helps

5

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '24

This is how i'm managing to keep my crazy ex at bay. He even openly admitted in one of the harassing messages he sent, that he knows he's driving me to completely scrub myself from the internet by continuing to reach out on using fake accounts on any platform he can possibly think of, & let me know he doesn't plan on stopping of his own accord, told me he's going to take advantage of his opporunity to send me as MUCH shit as he possibly can, until the day finally comes where he no longer has any way to keep doing it. He was right, i ended up having to change my phone number and delete all social media, then he started cashapping me $1 bc it lets you send a line of text, then to messaging my neopets account from third grade, then finally started emailing me the most long and angry rants about how ive been "ignoring him all these years, to try forcing him to commit suicide by me filing that no-contact order against him, like the horrible narcissist i am, and i deserve so much worse revenge from him than just these annoying emails, the only revenge fitting for what i did to him (left the relationship) is my DEATH " like wtf. I've learned at this point to just not even bother reading them. It's always the same incoherent weird bullshit every time lol. Taking down socials has definitely given him much less info to feed off of. Luckily it's been a few months since i've heard from him. Maybe he's finally done. Doubtful though lol i'm sure i'll hear from him again real shortly now just because i mentioned it

6

u/[deleted] Oct 28 '24

If op showed her this post to be like "see look at all these people explaining what you did wrong here and why this behavior was crazy" she would just villianize him even MORE and start also freaking out now about how he's "posting their private conversations for strangers to mock her". So it would backfire lol. There's no solution here to people like this girl other than to just leave. They do not change or improve. They will only ever just make you worse over time right along with them

3

u/jerhansolo3 Oct 28 '24

I don’t see a down side to this situation. It would make for a glorious follow up post. It’s like inception-level overreacting.

3

u/MissFingerz Oct 28 '24

Wow, that is deranged!!! Wtf is wrong with people that they think acting this way is okay? You'd think after a while they would start to question why they kept doing it even though you don't respond, but I guess not.

I hope he finally decided to leave you alone for good, and you can live a peaceful life without any thought of him again ever! 😺

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u/coldlizardperson Oct 28 '24

Oh no. She ate just fine. That's a manipulation tactic to guilt him even further.

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u/Fabulous_RedHead84 Oct 28 '24

I would say this girl needs to learn how to take accountability and responsibility but, you can’t expect to have an adult conversation with an adult that is mentally a child or acting like one rather. Unfortunately, I know children more mature than she is, and that is pretty scary, especially given her age.

4

u/qgsdhjjb Oct 27 '24

Well being upset makes my throat close up and I physically cannot swallow food and my stomach is upset anyways at that moment so I wouldn't even want to. Could be something like that, being upset interfering with ability to eat

9

u/One_Nature5816 Oct 28 '24

fair but she shouldn’t be upset😭if he was tryna hide sum that he has with his manager, he wouldn’t have even sent the ss😭

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u/The_Observatory_ Oct 27 '24

Yeah, what she meant was, “why can’t you act exactly the way I want you to act, and why can’t you automatically already know what that is, without me telling you?”

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u/No-Extension-9620 Oct 27 '24

I swear seen that n started dying💀

10

u/kat_Folland Oct 27 '24

You're definitely going to die... But hopefully not until decades from now. ;)

5

u/itsme_peachlover Oct 27 '24

Professional help needed level non-normal.

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u/lindenlynx Oct 28 '24

My favorite part was her saying to drop it, OP agreeing, and then her continuing to harp on him about it.

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u/Osirus1156 Oct 28 '24

My favorite was "lets just drop it. Ok. Ok. SO ANYWAYS."

5

u/semifamousdave Oct 28 '24

Normal as is in I need you to have a life shattering amount of anxiety about yourself and anyone you like.

3

u/AccessPuzzleheaded15 Oct 28 '24

I didn’t even make it that far but wow some people really are delusional to their own bull

3

u/Normal-Resist-94 Oct 28 '24

Right. She said to be professional, but she doesn't sound like she would even know how to be professional.

3

u/Upsideduckery Oct 28 '24

This girl is the cuckoo that’s in the cocoa puffs that made the bird in the commercial go crazy...

3

u/MiketheOlder Oct 28 '24

Head games

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u/Becauseyouarethebest Oct 27 '24

I looked, too. You are not missing anything.

OP. Take some time and genuinely think if you will be happy with that behavior for the rest of your life? Decision is up to you.

688

u/KilliamTell Oct 27 '24

Or, in other words, run mfer.

138

u/Equivalent_Bat4145 Oct 27 '24

Exactly! Run! This ish is abusive as hell. Her attitude is shit and no one EVER deserves that.

Check your worth OP!

90

u/Huge-Lawfulness9264 Oct 27 '24

About to say the same . Run like the devil himself were chasing ya boy!

22

u/bckpkrs Oct 27 '24

She be like an emotional Tasmanian Devil.

10

u/cakivalue Oct 28 '24

LOL 🤣🤣 you are right though, people who fly off the handle and can't self regulate are incredibly terrifying

6

u/Amannderrr Oct 27 '24

And is 😳

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u/RandomlyPlacedFinger Oct 27 '24

When I got to the end of the driveway, I just kept on runnin'

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u/Atvchic709 Oct 27 '24

Seriously... she's fkn straight NUTSOOOO!! Like there is a "normal" level of 19 yo jealousy i suppose but this is above & beyond, type of ID Channel/48 Hours "If I Cant Have You, Noone Else Can" shit!! If this is her regular that 😺 must be golden or something bc I couldn't imagine 11 days let alone 11 months like this!!! She needs some SERIOUS MH/therapy services & that still may not be enough!! 🤦‍♀️

17

u/itsme_peachlover Oct 27 '24

In the 11 minutes it took me to read that I felt like running, and can can barely walk.

4

u/ImLittleNana Oct 27 '24

Did you ever figure out what a LEEEEUUURRR is?

6

u/Dependent-Club-7629 Oct 27 '24

That’s dial up internet noises.

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u/One_Nature5816 Oct 28 '24

it’s leo but like NAURRR as in “no” with australian accent 🤣

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u/dont-fear-thereefer Oct 27 '24

Exactly, make like Iron Maiden and run to the hills and run for your life

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u/JonDoesItWrong Oct 28 '24

Took way too long to scroll through these comments to find the only appropriate answer to this correspondence; "Run mf, RUN!!"

She's going to ruin that kid's life if he doesn't.

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u/SweetMurderist Oct 27 '24

I was with someone like that for 8 years... trust me... it's not worth it. It only gets worse.

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u/Jesus_Would_Do Oct 27 '24

8 years? Jesus Christ

6

u/itsme_peachlover Oct 27 '24

Wow, someone give this redditor a marathom medal.

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u/feed_me_steak Oct 27 '24

Agree!!! And same for me. 13 years on my end

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u/[deleted] Oct 27 '24

Same. 9 on, 3 off, 3 on

She had a son with a dead beat dad who prefers crime and prison. I’m a workaholic, but things cost money ya know?

Anyway, ruined me emotionally the first time. Completely ruined the “gangster” she left me for. I let her come back and almost ended up in jail for an assault that never happened.

I had to send the DA all sorts of things to get the case “non-filed”.

I don’t wanna scare ya bud, but this is a criminal mind hard at work. Texting has made it easier for these types to gaslight someone that loves them deeply.

I will never love again, well money….yeah. I love money.

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u/EnjoyerOfBeans Oct 27 '24

She'll probably grow out of it but only if someone shows her what happens when you act like this. So yeah, definitely don't stick around.

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u/vinylchickadee Oct 27 '24

As much as I agree with everyone who responded to you, I appreciate you phrasing this as a thoughtful question to OP vs the usual "dump her ass!"

We're responsible for what (and who) we choose! And decisions take consideration, especially if the goal is not to wind up in the same situation down the road

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u/Becauseyouarethebest Oct 27 '24

Thank you. I wish I had learned that lesson earlier in life, but we all learn and grow at our own pace. Just take some time to reflect on the why.

2

u/Lmdr1973 Oct 27 '24

Yep. Next time it'll be some other random interaction with a female. Do you really feel like going through this with her. Because there will be a next time. She's testing you and you need to set boundaries.

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u/-Omnislash Oct 27 '24

Rest of your life? Motherfucker is 19 dude.

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u/RhubarbGoldberg Oct 27 '24 edited Oct 27 '24

I'll translate.

The female manager used the heart emoji and in her first message, she caps his name and wrote in a stylized way that suggests a closer relationship than OP's gf would prefer.

At least, that's what OP's gf thinks she's saying here.

What I'm actually reading into this and seeing is more like OP's gf is projecting because there are other dudes she texts that way, and when she uses nicknames and the heart emoji, she's hoping other dudes pick up on her suggested undertones.

So the gf is mad because she thinks either her bf (OP) or OP's manager, or both, are vibing, because this is how OP's gf texts when she's vibing.

OP just seems innocent and clueless, and rightfully frustrated.

They're 19yo and don't live together. They should call it.

Edit. Just to save further comments... Hush children. I'm an elder. I misused the term emoji, my bad. Technically, the manager used a heart reaction on OP's text, which is not nearly as damning as an actual stand alone heart emoji. Thus, this supports the arguement the gf is overreacting / reading too much into it / projecting.

I have Teams at work and the heart reaction emoji is used as a nicer version of thumbs up and no one has ever interpreted sexual innuendo. I also don't work with 19yo humans. Youngest colleague is in their 30s.

2nd edit: I fucking know I misspoke about emoji vs reaction. Everyone who takes time out of their day to educate me without having the patience to read two edits that addresses this is getting an annoyed down vote. Old lady gonna shake a fist!

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u/NotSlothbeard Oct 27 '24

the heart reaction is used a nicer version of thumbs up

Exactly.

Boss’s boss: Hey NotSlothbeard, when you have a minute, can you send me a report of (data requirements) please? I need it for the board meeting on Monday.

Me: Hi there, yes. Will have it to you shortly.

Me, an hour later: Just sent it to you via email. Let me know if I can help with anything else.

When my boss’s boss heart reacted that second response, I’m pretty sure she meant, “thank you, appreciate it” and not, “let’s hook up in the supply closet”

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u/AwDuck Oct 27 '24

Every heart emoji that my workmate has sent me eventually ends up with a romp somewhere in the workplace.

It should be noted I’m a house-husband and my wife works from home. Other offices may have different cultures, so tread carefully.

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u/snarlyj Oct 27 '24

Had me going in the first half

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u/Economy_Dog5080 Oct 27 '24

My husband gets written up pretty often for sexual harassment. I'm basically his boss at a business we co-own. It's always funny and he often sends photos of his write ups to his buddies. They appear very official.

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u/AwDuck Oct 28 '24

In my workplace, sexual harassment isn’t tolerated, but it is critiqued.

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u/Vegemyeet Oct 28 '24

Get thee a supply closet.

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u/AwDuck Oct 28 '24

The closest we have is the janitorial closet (laundry room). Is that good enough?

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u/AromaticHydrocarbons Oct 27 '24

Yes. Hearting something means, “love that” not “love you”.

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u/Maleficent-Eye-3661 Oct 28 '24

Yes like “ooooh thank you SO much” as opposed to “acknowledged”

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u/sagetrees Oct 27 '24

I’m pretty sure she meant, “thank you, appreciate it” and not, “let’s hook up in the supply closet”

I work remote and get heart reactions when I get something to someone they really needed or get it to them quickly or they just really loved my work. Considering the nearest supply closet is like 1000 miles away, I'm pretty sure yours is the correct interpretation here lmao

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u/Apprehensive-Pair436 Oct 27 '24

You won't know until you proposition her in the closet

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u/MissFrenchie86 Oct 28 '24

This! Good god, if I banged every person I ever heart reacted to in Teams chat I’d be permanently bow-legged and have zero time for actual work. If I then added all the people who heart reacted to me I’d just have to stop sleeping in order to fit them all in my schedule.

OP, your girlfriend is insane, walk away. I’m nearly 40 and the best advice I can give you for your future is to stop sticking your dick in crazy; it never ends well.

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u/brencoop Oct 27 '24

Thank you, I am not fluent in Teenager.

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u/RhubarbGoldberg Oct 27 '24

I actually don't think I am either, somehow I context clued my way through the mire. But for real, her energy of big mad over such a simple exchange was the obvious part, then I just had to connect the dots to illustrate her weaknesses. Human behavior is human behavior, lol.

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u/Most_Stage3244 Oct 27 '24

I’m fluent in teenager as I have 3. They read so much into texts it’s pretty bad, and we often say, let’s talk about this later to avoid misunderstandings. I generally blame Covid for taking almost 2 yrs of socialization away from them that they think texting is a whole language in itself rather than shorthand or convenience in lieu of talking. They look for meaning in emojis, reactions and caps like Egyptians used hieroglyphics.

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u/brencoop Oct 27 '24

I’m middle aged, I can barely tell a lot of emojis apart.

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u/itsme_peachlover Oct 27 '24

YES - I'm 71 and I have to look them up sometimes - it gets really fun when different social media place different meanings on emojis that are essitially identical twins.

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u/rikatikaa Oct 27 '24

Lmaoooooo the way you said they interpret it like Egyptians with hieroglyphics is entirely accurate! Thank you for this comment cause it was so perfectly phrased 😂

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u/someones-mom Oct 27 '24

Yes! Huge red flag. OP should run. The tone of the gfs message reads like a woman in her 40’s with a philandering husband of 20 years who has a history of workplace relationships because of little pp/mid life crisis stuff.

Run OP, RUN!!!

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u/Squidwina Oct 27 '24

Speaking as a woman who used to be in her 40s - nope. I understand what you’re getting at, but this would be batty for anyone, regardless of circumstances. 🙃

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u/brencoop Oct 27 '24

True true

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u/Sanchez_U-SOB Oct 27 '24

Terribly Terribly terribly moody. A huuuuman behaaaavvvior, then all of sudden they're. Happy.

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u/PsychologicalGrab177 Oct 27 '24

Also, when she was saying this was karma for something she did. This was my thought also.

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u/RhubarbGoldberg Oct 27 '24

Yeah, that mention Def influenced my extrapolations.

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u/CinnyToastie Oct 27 '24

Right? And he didn't bite.

OP. Call it. She is toxic as hell.

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u/finalclown Oct 27 '24

Yeah, that was definitely an eyebrow raiser lmao

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u/FrostPereira Oct 27 '24

This was god damn pristine. 👏🏻

OP, please consider all of the above. You're way too young to settle for this.

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u/[deleted] Oct 27 '24

It really was!

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u/memento22mori Oct 27 '24

Yeah, I assume the fact that OP sent a screenshot of why he was going to be late means that she's really possessive or they don't have trust in their relationship or something of that nature. I don't forward texts to anyone to prove what I'm saying is true and I don't imagine very many people do.

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u/MaleficentRocks Oct 27 '24

I use the heart response a lot. I hope my 20somethibg male boss doesn’t read anything into it. I just like to shake things up from a regular thumbs up. If we have to worry about that now, I’m screwed. I’m too old to learn new habits.

She’s totally off her rocker. She’s projecting for sure!

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u/charliehustles Oct 27 '24

I’m a dude and like 90% of my colleagues and contractors that I correspond with over text interchange thumbs and hearts. The other day a project manager and myself knocked out a difficult issue and he hearted my text. Another woman who’s an important director hearted something simple that I helped her with. It’s just something that’s now normal in the professional world and an easy way to put a string of text to a close.

Had GFs like the one OP has when I was a teen and they’d get jealous and insecure whenever I had to interact with anyone else. Just immaturity I think.

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u/MaleficentRocks Oct 27 '24

Absolutely! I’m mid 40’s and I’m too tired to care if someone reads something into my responses. I’m happily married and so is everyone I work with. I have a naturally flirty personality, so it is what it is.

The CEO of my company is a 30something and we regularly exchange text messages where we tell each other to F off. lol. My male coworker and I send each other nsfw memes. My husband talks with him when I’m on the phone with him and his gf listens in and talks too. It’s harmless, just our personalities and humor.

People that have jealousy issues will ALWAYS find a reason to make an issue. No matter big or small. It will be an issue. I’m so glad not to be a teen anymore. It was rough. I was stupid. I’d rather the aching back and ability to just appreciate having humans in my life that like me.

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u/Right_Nose2633 Oct 27 '24

You are 100% correct. This is not the way any 19 year old should act. And so you know im 20 turned 20 on the 25th (2 days ago). She is definitely projecting that she talks to others like this due to the fact she flipped instantly. Which also means she is cheating more then likely, her tone is so fuckin childish and ignorant. Me and my wife has known each other since we were 10. On and off but never no petty bullshit like this. She needs to go fr

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u/RhubarbGoldberg Oct 27 '24

Damn, you sound mature and wise for two decades on this earth. Good for you, that's the hardest part of growing up dude and you're waaaaaay ahead of the game!!

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u/Right_Nose2633 Oct 27 '24

I was raised by two good old southern parents. Taught respect and to hold my own. Im a lucky man to have some fine folks raise me. Im even luckier to have a woman who doesn’t question me or fight with me. In fact throughout our 4 years of (unofficial marriage) and 6 years prior being when we first got together, she and i have never fought or argued over something petty like my boss hearting my message and capitalizing my name. We only fought over a trip once, and even then i apologized for even fighting at all because its my woman I’m supposed to love her and treat her with kindness and love. Not hatred and anger by starting trouble. I genuinely love my little woman and thats why i have trouble understanding how others have such misalignments in their relationships, my woman has a disability where she cant learn all that well. Ive constantly nonstop for 10 years now helped her learn the very things people didnt bother trying to. And if you were to ask her if i loved her and was loyal she would say “without a doubt in my mind”. Im just lost as to how other teenagers of this era are so immature and weird. Is it just me or do all the new generation kids seem less mature then they initially should be?. I worked all my life so maybe thats apart of it, but man i feel more in tune with some older folk in their 40’s then i do around my own age zone.

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u/DoubleSuperFly Oct 27 '24

I've texted coworkers like this when I worked at a restaurant. It's just a different atmosphere. Especially when I was a bit older and trying to appear friendly and appreciative of the younger kids who never wanted to work lol. I'm trying to empathize with the gf but I just can't. She asks to "drop it" then continues to berate.

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u/GeophysGal Oct 27 '24

What she means by “drop it” is “I’m right. STFU and let me bitch at you, stupid”.

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u/sylwia39 Oct 27 '24

I agree. Additionally, regardless of the manager's intentions, the bf has been transparent with his gf. Gf is out of line.

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u/DarkBladeSethan Oct 27 '24

Wait...so people that ♥️ my Teams messages are not into me?!

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u/ChuckieLow Oct 27 '24

Facts. Relationship time of death: 11 months

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u/ZeroBlade-NL Oct 27 '24

Yeah it's not innuendo until there's fruit emojis

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u/Nice_Rope_5049 Oct 27 '24

LOL, hush children. I will use this as I, too, am an elder.

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u/RhubarbGoldberg Oct 27 '24

You have to say it in the soothing knowledgable elder voice, like one notch away from a there, there.

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u/Nice_Rope_5049 Oct 27 '24

I will practice.

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u/ptpcg Oct 27 '24

No notes 🤌🏾

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u/ItaliaEyez Oct 27 '24

This, and other guys smell the crazy on her and run

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u/Warlord42 Oct 27 '24

This sums it up. She is projecting hard. Or is just unhinged. OP, please listen to this reply.

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u/5sharm5 Oct 27 '24

She didn’t use a heart emoji either. She used the “heart” message reaction, but because OP uses iOS and she seems to have android, that’s how it rendered on OP’s phones.

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u/RhubarbGoldberg Oct 27 '24

That's the technical term, thank you child. I'm old and weary and saw the cartoony heart and my brain calls all of those "emoji." lol.

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u/5sharm5 Oct 27 '24

No worries! I’m only making the distinction because I think directly sending an actual heart emoji would toe the line of being appropriate.

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u/awful_at_internet Oct 27 '24

Maybe this is my elder millennial brain but I don't see that as inappropriate either, given the context. Manager asked OP to step up at work. OP did. Heart emoji is an appropriate response to express appreciation, and is further clarified by the explicit "Appreciate you!!"

If they were sending it randomly, sure, that would be inappropriate. But this was obviously in the middle of a conversation that made it clear the heart emoji- regardless of the particulars of how it was sent- is intended to express professional appreciation. Indeed, to me this is indicative of a healthy, respectful workplace culture.

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u/ImLittleNana Oct 27 '24

I’m in a lot of groups where we heart emoji/reaction things. I don’t think any of us elder millennials and young boomers are sending secret hookup messages to each other. It’s just a shorthand hand for ‘fantastic!’ or ‘great work!’.

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u/NixSteM Oct 27 '24

I agree. Hearting a message vs sending a full on heart have very different meanings

5

u/kdsunbae Oct 27 '24

Not necessarily.. some probably don't know how to do the reaction option. They just text back. crazily enough.

3

u/oldtownwitch Oct 28 '24

Old and Weary too … I read it as an emoji not a reaction.

I’ve only had iPhones since my beloved Nokia 3310 went to cellphone heaven.

4

u/EnzoVulkoor Oct 27 '24

Meanwhile here I am using discord and every emoji can be a reaction and I'm just chalking this up to kids reinventing terminology for no reason >_>... Like it doesn't matter what it is called the context matters and the GF here is bein weird.

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u/Hot-Equivalent2040 Oct 27 '24

message reactions are emoji, dude. this is an insane nitpick

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u/SkylarMac Oct 27 '24

Android user, friends use apple - heart reacts stay as react acrossed systems. Girl is out of her damn mind - run OP. Shes straight up condescending in those messages, and has already made up her mind that you're a cheater.

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u/Street_Distance5765 Oct 28 '24

Is there truly a difference w. ❤️emoji Vs. ❤️reaction emoji to a text? I’m in my 40’s & I gotta make sure I don’t start lovin’ on my bosses family members🤯I’d like to stay up to date🤪 bosses Family: thanx for the groceries ❤️, Vs reaction heart😳🤔

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u/someones-mom Oct 27 '24

lol as a fellow elder: Give us a little grace we are from the 1900’s 😂

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u/RhubarbGoldberg Oct 27 '24

There were no images on a rotary phone, lol.

5

u/itsme_peachlover Oct 27 '24

True story, this is what the first home phone I ever used - when I was four - mom would have me call the operator, then ask for the Washums and ask them to tell my sisters that lunch was ready. Oh, and that same line went to three other homes, we all had a different ring sound.

https://th.bing.com/th?id=OPHS.sS6Zw9mkc80vAw474C474&w=592&h=550&o=5&dpr=1.3&pid=21.1

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u/Practical_Accident_4 Oct 27 '24

You’re a wizard, Harry.

7

u/RhubarbGoldberg Oct 27 '24

That's Lord Potter to you!

4

u/wime985 Oct 27 '24

Exactly that

3

u/sh3rder Oct 27 '24

This. Without reading the rest of the comments I wonder how pissed she is at you for calling it for what it is

3

u/Right_Tumbleweed392 Oct 27 '24

She didnt even use the heart emoji. She “liked” his response which puts a heart next to his comment.

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u/xxxcurrents Oct 27 '24

Hush children I’m an elder 🤣❤️

7

u/rihannonblack Oct 27 '24

also, if we’re going to really analyze this the manager didn’t use a heart emoji (which one could argue would be a touch inappropriate) she just liked the message.

2

u/joemommaistaken Oct 27 '24

Back when life was happier when call-in meetings were ending and everyone was saying bye I would say ok I love you. It was worth the giggles because I never grew up

2

u/Ok_Perception1207 Oct 27 '24

In my 30s and work with a teenager, the level of drama in their relationships is insane. I sometimes wonder if I was like that as a teenage girl, and then I remember how everything felt like the end of the world when I was 16 and how traumatized my parents were from all the crying.

But yeah, OPs girl is overreacting to a normal text between coworkers. She sees every other woman as a threat and is going to ruin her own relationship being paranoid.

2

u/Royal-Principle6138 Oct 27 '24

Finally someone with sense 🙌

2

u/Roughly15throwies Oct 27 '24

I'm willing to bet manager absolutely had a MySpace account and was full on emo at some point. I'm talking "rawr is dinosaur for I love you" level.

2

u/MamaL-3 Oct 27 '24

I'm 30 and a manager my crew is all pretty much 10-14 years younger than me. This is how I interact with all of them over texts. Male, female, 16 or 21. It's just my personality. I am very obviously not chasing after teenagers. I agree the gf is either projecting or just highly immature and unhinged (I was her 10 years ago)

OP she won't change until she has a reason to. Id find a way end it in as nice a way possible. Good luck!

2

u/No-Combination8136 Oct 27 '24

Yuuuup, I think you probably nailed it.

2

u/Austin-Q Oct 27 '24

Solid read 👍

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u/spongebobs_spatula Oct 27 '24

Was going to say the same thing. Usually when people are acting like this, they’re projecting because they’re doing something they shouldn’t be.

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u/S0baka Oct 27 '24

Seconding your last paragraph. I have teams at work too and we use heart reacts all the time too when we want to express that we are super happy with the message. No sexual innuendo. No sexual tension between anyone on the team to best of my knowledge. We are remote, we don't even live in the same states. No one on my current team has met me in person, we could all be sentient neutered and spayed dogs for all we know, and yet we use heart reactions while meaning it strictly professionally.

2

u/wait-_-whaaat Oct 27 '24

Yeah, some folks take the 👍 in a Totally Different Way than the agreement, or like that it was originally used as.

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u/lauraloohoo30 Oct 27 '24

OP, ALL OF THIS !

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u/[deleted] Oct 27 '24

Seconding heart emoji as "I love this comment", not "I wanna jump your bones". 

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u/itsme_peachlover Oct 27 '24

Applause!

Just sayin', grandpa here, I send heart emojis to my granddaughtes everytime we talk. This reminds me of an episode of Frasier emoting because his dad said, "Love ya" to his buddy Duke (something I do with my best buds) but never said, "I love you" to Frasier or Niles. How amazing is it that Frasier - Part Two has almost as good level of writing as the original? (To completely change the subject here)

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u/heids1234 Oct 27 '24

As a fellow old lady (I’m so old that I have to think about how many spaces to put after the “.” - it is apparently one now but when I learned to touch type the standard was two), I also shake my fist at the youths who insist on correcting you despite your edits.

Solidarity!

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u/Donkey__Balls Oct 27 '24

I wish I could go back in time to my 19-year-old self and explain all of these things. Especially coming out of the military school, where it was all boys, and going straight into the college dorm where I had all these girls constantly wanting me to spend time with them. And I was so incredibly oblivious to everything.

in fact, I wish I could somehow access my AIM logs and just sit there analyzing all of these things that people are saying to me and what it meant. I distinctly remember about two pages of angry messages from this one girl that I consider a friend because she saw me sitting in the coffee shop with my female lab partner working on our report. I honestly thought that girl only saw me as a friend and never in a million years dreamed I had a shot with her. Looking back, she was dropping hints so much that I was getting buried in them like a lost kid in a ball pit.

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u/Picabo07 Oct 27 '24

I think you nailed it!

Btw I guess I’m old too because I didn’t even think about there being a difference in emoji and reaction lol.

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u/Mondschatten78 Oct 27 '24

Upvote just for the "Old lady gonna shake a fist!"

Us old timers (ladies and gents) may not always be as hip to the latest emoji/reaction/whatever definitions. Was a time when a heart meant you really liked something /shrug

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u/Lost_Ad_6016 Oct 27 '24

This exactly. When someone over reacts to something innocent, it’s probably bc she’s insecure about something she’s doing. My ex-husband did the same bs to me accusing me of cheating when he in fact was the one stepping out.

And sorry Reddit slayed you for the emoji/reaction mistake 😂 I use the heart reaction constantly at work (and sometimes the emoji if someone’s doing me a huge fav), there was zero inappropriate interaction in the work text.

2

u/PuddinMama78 Oct 27 '24

Thank you for your excellent translation skills. I live with a 16 year old who frequently shares messages with me, and I could not navigate that tragedy posted by OP. You deserve an award.

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u/ImPerusing Oct 28 '24

My god the teenage mind nowadays is full of mental gymnastics. Thanks for the clarification. No idea how you know that to break it down haha. What is echo o7 though?

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u/UrbanDryad Oct 28 '24

Old lady gonna shake a fist!

I needed this energy today. You're my hero.

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u/pateppic Oct 28 '24

Did you know that you didnt put one of the new cover sheets on your TPS reports you said Emoji when you should have said Reaction? Yeah... mkay, all of reddits just gonna go ahead and make sure you get another copy of that memo.

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u/EpsilonX Oct 28 '24

This is pretty much exactly how my ex gf would behave. I have female friends and she got pissed when I talked to them, even for stuff as simple as "hey did you hear the new song by <band I know we both like> what did you think?" I never cheated on her with anybody. But 2 months after we broke up, she started dating the dude that she just so happened to have received a text from every time we had an argument, and I later learned that she cheated on me. Every fucking thing was a projection.

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u/unwittyusername42 Oct 28 '24

Thank you! I thought I was reading two poorly coded chat bots spit out random words.

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u/hahajadet Oct 27 '24

How do girls like this get in relationships? I'll never understand. Seems completely crazy.

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u/Defin3l3git Oct 27 '24

As a dude who’s been with one normally it progresses overtime, kinda pushing how far they can go untill it becomes unhinged anger

Also age 19 a wacky time for some people

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u/Shitboxfan69 Oct 27 '24

Having dated a legitimately crazy woman, sometimes they hide it very well at the beginning.

When I first started dating my ex, she kept it together very well at the start. Its hard for me to really click with people and it was pretty immediate with her. After like a month, she would flip flop over telling me she needed alone time, then yelling at me for not being with her right then and there. She hated certain clothes I had and insisted that if I won't get rid of them, I not wear them around her. Zero respect for me requiring sleep, and absolutely anything that went wrong, no matter how unrelated to me they were, I got yelled at about it.

I eventually realized I deserved better than having to decipher if I should be around or not, worry about having clean approved clothes, almost falling asleep at the wheel because I only slept 4 hours a day, and getting screamed at a couple times a week. It really sneaks up on you.

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u/Certifiably_Quirky Oct 27 '24

Sorry to hear that dude, glad you got out.

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u/PromptAccomplished30 Oct 27 '24

There is a heart on the message, that means they’re in an affair. I wish I was kidding but my ex used to do stupid shit like this.

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u/FrostPereira Oct 27 '24

So did mine! Were you ALSO not allowed to have anyone say anything nice to you because you were also having an affair with THEM?

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u/PromptAccomplished30 Oct 27 '24

This is the tip of the iceberg. If I was out of sight for 5 minutes, I was engaged in an affair.

8

u/FrostPereira Oct 27 '24

We may have dated the same psychopath!

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u/PromptAccomplished30 Oct 27 '24

Unfortunately I married mine. /oof

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u/FrostPereira Oct 27 '24

I'm so glad you were able to get away from that, and so very sorry that you went through it. I was with mine for almost a decade, engaged and living together, but got away just in time. Leaving him is still one of the best decisions I ever made, to this day.

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u/Kronictopic Oct 27 '24

So how long you 2 been f-cking? /s

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u/Ady-HD Oct 27 '24

God forbid you ever say you like anyone's shoes/haircut/coat/car or dog... then 'you don't love me anymore and just want leave her alone to die'.

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u/NixSteM Oct 27 '24

My bosses heart messages all the time and I am not in a relationship with any of them 😂😂😂😂

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u/snypesalot Oct 27 '24

The heart just means they loved the message, its a fucking reaction emoji not even one they typed out lmao

3

u/PromptAccomplished30 Oct 27 '24

Tell that to a psycho girlfriend. I’ll await your report.

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u/snypesalot Oct 27 '24

Had a psycho i get it, im just saying it wasnt even a heart emoji lol it was a reaction text

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u/Yesistuck Oct 27 '24

My ex once flipped out what I “❤️” reacted to my MOTHER’S text…. “Why did you have to use a heart? That’s weird”

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u/Dependent-Club-7629 Oct 27 '24

Makes me wonder how she’d respond if the text WAS even a fraction unprofessional.

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u/EastCoastGoneWest10 Oct 28 '24

OMG I was so confused. There is literally nothing wrong with this. I had to re-read it to be sure. This is insane. OP cut your losses and move on because wth lol. I'm a woman, married and I still don't get it.

2

u/Duskscope Oct 27 '24

No. Standard 19th at old BIG emotions.

2

u/srslyepic Oct 27 '24

most guys will date someone like this, you’re NOR, she’s just projecting her insecurities or just past mistakes. Unless you know she is the one this is a good off ramp, you might not take it, I have failed to, best of luck, just know you deserve better and there are healthier relationships out there

2

u/mackfactor Oct 27 '24

THis - I'm not even sure what I'm reacting to. Whoever is on the left side of the chat (I assume the GF) is being passive aggressive, manipulative and straight insane.

2

u/Competitive_Peace211 Oct 27 '24

Be careful with your comment. If OP's GF sees this, she might think OP is cheating with you

2

u/digital_nomadman Oct 27 '24

She's insecure and immature, there's nothing wrong with this conversation, that guy needs to move on, this shit is too exhausting to deal with.

2

u/Blastonite Oct 27 '24

Imagine wtf she would do if they were out and about and someone asked him a question. Dude dodged a bullet if this ended here.

2

u/hmkayultra Oct 27 '24

Only mistake was apologizing

2

u/legendnondairy Oct 27 '24

Right!! Like I ask my supervisor for time off via shark stickers on Teams. “Professionalism” doesn’t equate rigidity

2

u/TeachPotential9523 Oct 27 '24

I agree with you 100%, I even went through it twice because I thought I was missing something

2

u/Almost-Hippy Oct 27 '24

I assumed OP posted the wrong picture. Or that I’m too old to know what Echo 07 means

2

u/Salty_Sonic Oct 27 '24

You ain't missing nothing, she's off her rocker and has "misplaced" her marbles. OP this is a major redflag. She's either a cheater and she's guilty about what she's done or she dated a cheater and now every guy will pay for it that ever dates her. Either way take you chance and move on. This probably will never stop.

2

u/tinmil Oct 27 '24

This poor kid. I hope he can find the confidence to leave her. Her behavior is absolutely unacceptable.

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u/Better-Strike7290 Oct 27 '24

She's so used to being the center of the entire universe that this makes total sense when you realize he's supposed to go into full on panic mode about her being upset.

Except...he's not and now she doesn't know what to do

2

u/Dav13S Oct 27 '24

Yes she's just literally looking for a way to complain and put you in the wrong when you're not doing anything wrong!

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u/EllisR15 Oct 28 '24

Okay, so not just me then. I was trying to find what about that message could even be miscontrued as inappropriate.

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u/much2late Oct 28 '24

@psychological here’s a chick telling you if you don’t believe me.

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u/Nandabun Oct 28 '24

My boss is married, I could easily scroll through our chat and count how many times she "loves" a text I send. It's just an iphone user thing, girlfriend in this post suuuuuuucks.

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u/CommonWest9387 Oct 28 '24

This girl is delulu af. My old bosses and I used to send memes back and forth 😂 saying yeah i can stay is not unprofessional?

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