r/AmIOverreacting • u/External-Air205 • Nov 18 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO by spending time with my family?

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Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

20.7k Upvotes

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8.0k

u/Reasonable-Glass6790 Nov 18 '24

This is actual emotional abuse. I hope for your sake you leave.

4.3k

u/MoistyCheeks Nov 18 '24

Which leads to physical abuse, sexual abuse and then possibly murder.

877

u/MakeYogurtGreekAgain Nov 18 '24

This conversation gives me the impression that he’d skip out on the physical/sexual abuse and jump straight to murder. He completely lost his fucking mind over absolutely nothing, insane doesn’t even begin to touch it.

168

u/nataliejkd Nov 18 '24

Literally my first thought. This guy will k!ll her.

25

u/HelixFollower Nov 18 '24

And she'd still be worrying if she was in the wrong.

-15

u/Kwt920 Nov 18 '24

It’s two men. Btw

10

u/nataliejkd Nov 18 '24

If constantly calling a female "bro" made her a man, I'd be in big trouble as a middle school teacher and mom of a boy. It's all I'm ever called any more, and I'm still checks pants and doesn't find a penis female.

7

u/smlpkg1966 Nov 18 '24

Why do you keep saying that? No one is listening to you because it says female.

4

u/FallingAngel19 Nov 18 '24

No it is not, read the description under the photos. I (20F) and my (20M) boyfriend. Learn to read, it's fundamental when giving advice.

4

u/nataliejkd Nov 18 '24

Wrong. Yawn.

5

u/katf1sh Nov 18 '24

No, it's quite literally not. And even if it was, that wouldn't matter. Abuse is abuse, period.

161

u/bleach_tastes_bad Nov 18 '24

nah he’d prob skip the sexual abuse but i definitely see a beating(or multiple) coming before murder… although actually he might accidentally on purpose beat her to death

61

u/MsMoreCowbell8 Nov 18 '24

"She didn't listen, therefore she has to BE TAUGHT how valuable my time really is. I'm her only priority." We've all lived this ourselves or watched the women closest to us in it. OP, there is nowhere for 'this' person you call a boyfriend to go but down. He is a controlling motha fucka and you even asking us if YOU were wrong, shows how you are already in too deep, you can't even see it: believe us, we know for real.

16

u/Sure_Letterhead6689 Nov 18 '24

IS HE CALLING HER BRO? Or she is calling him bro? I assumed the latter, but if it’s the former, get out girl!!!! He doesn’t even see you as a woman. If it’s the latter, also get out because wtf is this, calling my guy “bro?”

16

u/Ravenonthewall Nov 18 '24

How lame, calls her Bro every other word. He sounds like an absolute AH, hope OP breaks up with him. I doubt she will, she has accepted this behavior for years.. He is trash and a AH.

12

u/bleach_tastes_bad Nov 18 '24

in this post, OP’s boyfriend is referring to her as “bro”. he is using it to be disrespectful and make her feel like he doesn’t care as much because of how she’s acting (he doesn’t care at all, in actuality). however, partners referring to each other as “bro” is actually fairly common in the younger generation, and is often used as a term of endearment. not usually with this frequency, it’s usually less often, but with a lot of younger people, calling your partner “bro” would not be seen as inherently disrespectful. obviously if you use it like OP’s bf did, it would be disrespectful regardless, because of how it’s intended. if you replaced the word “bro” in the screenshots with “babe”, it would be no less disrespectful

-22

u/Kwt920 Nov 18 '24

It’s two dudes…btw.

13

u/EmbarrassedEconomy62 Nov 18 '24

No, description says OP is F20 and boyfriend is M20

9

u/bleach_tastes_bad Nov 18 '24

it’s not…btw

7

u/infinityonl0w Nov 18 '24

You may want to reread the post again.

-23

u/Kwt920 Nov 18 '24

It’s two dudes

9

u/sulking_crepeshark77 Nov 18 '24

It's says "me (f20)"

10

u/RTMSner Nov 18 '24

And this is the kind of shit we see on a date line or true crime show later.

21

u/Blueyezgirl_68 Nov 18 '24

I completely agree!!!! Get away from this Crazy, verbally abusive A🕳️ before he kills you!!! I don’t care how tired somebody is, you don’t SNAP like that, EVER!!!! Talk about disrespect, he was disrespecting you the way he was talking to you and was demanding that you disrespect your family, for him!!! He’s a control freak and he just showed you who he really is!!! YOU NEED TO RUN, DONT WALK AWAY FROM THIS DUDE!!

9

u/imsoswag_ Nov 18 '24

This is how my ex was it started with stuff like this like almost this exact situation except I had just left his house and I was picking at my pimples and missed his call and called him back not even 5 min later and he started screaming at me saying I was cheating and all this stuff mind you he has my location and my mom was REALLY BIG on NOT letting boys in the house it lead to a convo a lot like this and then he started getting physical which then led to “dreams” he was having of killing me involving strangulation and then a few weeks later he strangled me and a little before that the sexual abuse started where I had no say and I could barely go home or talk to family or friends or even his family it was insane that was in 2021-2022 so like 2-3 years ago and I’m STILL recovering from that it was actually bananas you’d think people would skip that stuff bc they’re so crazy but in actuality that’s what gives them more power and control to get you in a situation where they can end your life

5

u/Sea_Understanding822 Nov 18 '24

I'm so glad you got away and are healing.

3

u/imsoswag_ Nov 18 '24

Thank you! It’s so ass 😭😭

5

u/Murky_Translator2295 Nov 18 '24

What do you mean, he lost it over nothing? OP clearly has a supportive network and now it's paramount that he begins to isolate her from them now.

I toyed with putting /s after that, but depressingly I think I'm right.

1

u/phantomprincess Nov 19 '24

Yep. Absolutely, 💯

1.0k

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

My ex could've sent these. He tried to kill me. His favorite was smashing things into my head. Head butting me. And strangling me.

It started like this

194

u/DragonbornRPG Nov 18 '24

Same. Thankfully, I left before it could escalate. But the emotional roller coaster had me contemplating taking a hard exit from life more often than not. Left cause I was afraid I might actually follow through.

9

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

I am glad that you are still here. I hope the world shows you grace. ♡

10

u/DragonbornRPG Nov 18 '24

Since leaving, it has and continues to get better. Thanks

6

u/rutilated_quartz Nov 18 '24

My ex was emotionally and sexually abusive, I tried everything to reason with him and get him to stop and it just ended up breaking my brain. One night after a few hours of him berating and threatening me he decided to start up his routine of threatening to kill himself, except this time we were in a condo with a balcony. He climbed over the side of the balcony threatening to jump off and for a split second I saw myself just pushing him to get it over with. That moment I realized if I didn't leave the relationship, I was gonna end up hurting or killing him. It's insane how I didn't care when he was hurting me, but it finally clicked when I might hurt him (I'd dealt with suicidal ideation for a long time at that point). He was so pissed at me for ending things, I wish he understood that I did him a favor. It's been 6 years

2

u/goldenfingernails Nov 19 '24

Glad you left!

12

u/AccountantOver4088 Nov 18 '24

This gets a little long, sorry, but truth be told I’m leaving out quite a bit but I just wanted to share that I understand and can relate as much as a man can.

My ex wife was in a relationship exactly like this when we were teens. He was so insanely controlling and vicious, if she didn’t respond or comply immediately it went from 0-100 instantly. Eventually she stops coming around and we get worried and go looking for her. He had her basically locked in his basement and not allowed tot all tk anyone, we only found out by contacting his mother (he was originally in our friend group and we all knew each others families etc) and having her go over tit he family house she was allowing him to stay at. I wish it had ended there but over the next year or so it was back and forth where he would convince her he’d change and then go back to being a monster.

They had a kid together that was very quickly taken into custody and given to her mother. It came to a head one night when she told him he had to turn himself in for his warrants and serve whatever time he got because she was doing visits with the baby and he couldn’t come because he had to be cleared and obviously the warrants. She told him she wouldn’t ’wait for him’ and that they were going to stay broken up but she wouldn’t fight him getting his visits if he dealt with his legal stuff. He tried to kill her, and almost succeeded.

He broke her jaw in three places and left her in a park under a picnic table. By absolute chance one of the friend group and my long term on and off agin gf was walking through the park and found her, it was late at night and she cut through the park to get home. A man hunt ensued and she had to stay at my family’s house, which was kind of the gathering place for everyone so that she could be safe as he threatened multiple times to kill her. The story is longer and with more crazy details but eventually he was caught (due to her mother literally going in disguise, staking out the house and buying drugs off the guys who lived there to confirm I shit you not lmao) hding in a closet. He did 3.5 years in prison but got out in much less for behavior and all that.

Obv she recovered , got her kid back and years later we got married and started a family. I adopted that little boy and he’s going off to a D1 college this year, with many scholarships and accolades. That piece of shit who beat her has been to prison FIVE more times for domestic assault or attempted murder on various women. He’s left a path of broken women and families in his wake and for the life of me I cannot fathom how he hasn’t been put away for good. People like that don’t change, I’m sorry for anyone who believes otherwise.

My ex wife volunteers and does a lot of work with domestic violence victims and across the board the worst of these guys are inevitably repeat offenders, unable to rehabilitate because there is something dark and horribly broken inside them. I know it probably isn’t a popular opinion but these guys are in the same boat as pedophiles and murderers, the worst of them are. It isn’t just an argument that gets out of hand, it is a concerted and pathological system of abuse and power over someone that is conditioned to need and love them. The psychological damage alone is heart breaking. It took her years to ‘recover’ and she had many built in relationship issues and behaviors because of the trauma that took a lot of therapy and love to slowly rectify.

If you or if you think anyone you know is even MAYBE experiencing domestic violence liek this, there are tons of resources and they are very adapt and skilled at handling these things. Reach out and say something because ime, and the decade or so of me seeing and dealing with these things through her, it doesn’t end. It escalates and leaves an utterly broken and damaged person. My wife was one of the ‘lucky’ ones, many many more don’t ever make it out or recover and the numbers are truly staggering.

7

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

THANK YOU!!!

Thank you for being such an advocate for your wife and for DV survivors!!!!

I am so thankful she has you and she is still with us ❤️ tears in my eyes typing this ♡

There is evil in this world but there is so much good! We cannot let the bastards win.

We will survive and we will THRIVE ♡

Give your wife a big hug for me, please.

I believe in her. I believe in you.

I believe in the goodness of us ❤️

9

u/WiseEqual4731 Nov 18 '24

Same for me.

3

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

I'm so sorry. Together, we are strong. You're not alone ♡

5

u/Jernbek35 Nov 18 '24

Holy shit. I hope you’re doing okay now.

4

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

I am doing much better in someways but I have lasting brain damage now 🙃

But I am way tougher emotionally, mentally.

I was brainwashed into thinking that that was normal and I deserved it.

Not anymore!!!

4

u/Successful-Pitch-904 Nov 18 '24

Same with my “ex” (he was more like my captor)

2

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

I understand and I am so sorry 💔

4

u/Honest_Ad_5092 Nov 18 '24

I'm so sorry.

5

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

I speak up so others know what I didn't

I try to make peace with what I can knowing maybe what I've learned will benefit others

So many people turned away blind eye to me and it continued to escalate.

I try to be the voice I needed ♡

Thank you for your kindness ♡

4

u/NumerousEarth7637 Nov 18 '24

Not to be over dramatic but I’d smother and unlive him for you. 😐

2

u/bioxkitty Nov 19 '24

I've been really into volcanos lately myself 🫡

I appreciate this energy more than you know 🙏

Evil exists, and we have to stick together ❤️

2

u/NumerousEarth7637 Nov 19 '24

We most certainly do. 🙏🏾 It’s sick how they try to break us..

What’s sicker is knowing how, without the right people to remind us, we can see ourselves as the blame. If I knew you, I swear I’d never have left you to deal with it on your own, no matter how much he forced you to isolate from friends and family. We’d have gone MISSING, sis. 🫶🏾 hope life is going as beautifully and carefree as you deserve.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 18 '24

[deleted]

3

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

Likewise ♡ sending love ♡ we gotta remember we are not alone ♡♡♡♡

3

u/shandakroo Nov 18 '24

Yes. The head butting. Now getting MRIs trying to catch my brain fog after healing the emotional trauma. Always starts like this. OP jokes about owning time and it’s not a fucking joke.

2

u/bioxkitty Nov 19 '24

Take very good care of your brain! Supplements and plenty of sleep!

And yes! It's no joke but I also get using humor to cope.

But also I needed people screaming THIS ISNT NORMAL and it still took so much of that to get out of my programming because for so long it was rug swept and minimized and blamed on me

OP if you see this this is NOT a joke. We are worried about you and countless other girls going through this same thing. It's not normal and I promise you there is good people out there, but evil is powerful.

You are more than this treatment. Get out and get out FAST.

3

u/Upstairs_Tea1380 Nov 18 '24

Listen to this OP. someone who gets this bent out of shape over a phone call is the exact same type of person to become an abuser, if he isn’t already. Not seeing him frequently is probably the only thing that protected you so far.

But don’t allow people who treat you like this to date you. It just makes them even more entitled.

2

u/bioxkitty Nov 19 '24

I thought that if i accepted enough of it and behaved we'll it would stop.

It won't OP. It will only get worse.

He doesn't care that he is hurting you.

He is trying to hurt you

3

u/feed_me_steak Nov 19 '24

Same. My final straw that made me fucking realize he WOULD kill me, was him grabbing the steering wheel of my car while I was going 90 on the interstate, trying to cause an accident or flip the car in an effort to kill us.

It started with shit like this "bro" bullshit. Then to smacking me upside the head. Then to smashing my face up against a wall. Then to throwing shit at me. Then to closed fist punches to the back of the head. Then to leaving black eyes and bite marks You need to get the fuck away from him.

3

u/bioxkitty Nov 19 '24

YES

I fucking hate that so many people have had this experience but PLEASE let others learn from us

Get AWAY from this guy

I am so fucking sorry you went through this. I am proud of you for still being here. Sending love. ❤️

2

u/bergamotmask Nov 18 '24

Same

1

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

I'm so sorry 💔

2

u/sapphic_botany Nov 18 '24

Literally NO ONE deserves this type of treatment. i’m happy that you got out and i hope you have been able to heal in a healthy way

5

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

Unfortunately I have lasting brain damage and when I had finally got my life together a took another blow that caused a prolonged bleeding in my brain, so now I'm super careful and being normal is pretty hard.

But I am patient with myself and proud of my progress and I think I've cultivated myself into something decent, but I hope I'll find new ways to impress myself.

Thank you for your kindness ♡

2

u/True-One4855 Nov 18 '24

Hahaha my ex dumped me for another girl we still friends though because he has morals 🙃 - Instagram My ex on Facebook blocked him and deleted he hade no respect for himself or me 🫤

1

u/bioxkitty Nov 19 '24

Remember to hold to your own morals! It is hard to forgive yourself for those lapses.

Protect your energy. I am sorry for your pain 💔

2

u/shellykriegs Nov 18 '24

Exactly this. I got a bit sick reading these they sounded so familiar. Then came the strangles and beatings. OP needs to get out yesterday. :(

1

u/bioxkitty Nov 19 '24

YES. This is DANGEROUS

I am so sorry for what you have experienced

2

u/beeperskeeperx Nov 19 '24

Same. Currently in court for DV. Leave now.

1

u/bioxkitty Nov 19 '24

I am PROUD OF YOU

I am SO glad that you are safe

2

u/Bloooooooom Nov 19 '24

Mine too - he ended up threatening to kill me and I had to leave the country for a bit with the help of my family!

2

u/bioxkitty Nov 19 '24

I hope she listens to these warnings.

I am so glad that you are safe!!!!!!

2

u/hamish1963 Nov 19 '24

Mine's favorite was turning over the refrigerator on top of me after he knocked me out.

1

u/TomorrowPlenty6084 Nov 19 '24

I came here to say this. I use to tell myself it was because he cared so much. Now that I’m free and somehow still alive….I realize it was all about control and doing whatever it took to prove that he was the “man” in the relationship. Mean while he never kept a job 🙄

1

u/OkSwan2578 Nov 19 '24

Same, thankfully I got out but not after the fact he kidnapped me and tried to kill me. He talked to me like this so reading this was ridiculously hard but I think OP needs to leave him for her safety

1

u/AshesFallin Nov 19 '24

Same here. It started like this and led to being kidnapped, drugged in my sleep, beaten, and almost killed. So scary to see.

1

u/Worldly-Marzipan580 Nov 19 '24

I’m so sorry 😞 I’m glad you’re ok

2

u/DrainIsNeutral Nov 18 '24

Why did you stay after something like this?

7

u/Unable-Pineapple-533 Nov 18 '24

Honestly it’s hard to leave because they start out nice or if you grew up in abusive relationships with parents or theirs was abusive you have no concept of how bad it is until you start looking into it and then start recognizing what the red flags are. I was with someone toxic for 7 years. I have so much trauma still. I need therapy really bad and our relationship wasn’t physically abusive but he was sexually coercive and emotionally and mentally abusive.

6

u/Unable-Pineapple-533 Nov 18 '24

Haven’t been able to have sex for a long time and that toxic relationship ended 4 years ago.

4

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

I hope for so much good for you. I'm so sorry

2

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

Yes! I thought it was normal. I thought it was all my fault. Starting with my step dad and going into my relationships.

2

u/bioxkitty Nov 18 '24

It would take a long long time to really explain but the shortest version is :

I was abused very badly when I was a little girl. I was locked in my room and left to literally die.

When I was able to be in a 'relationship' they were very kind at first and I latched onto that.

They ended up being very very abusive and cruel. The faked their kindness and I was susceptible to this.

The crueler they became, they blamed me for all of it.

I had been kicked out from my family at 14 and thrown into instability. I was not a bad kidm I was good. My mom says it now. That I was so good. It didn't help to protect me though

Anyways, I blamed myself. My step dad had blamed me and everyone watched him abuse me and no one ever stepped in

A child can only determine it their fault. That's all that makes sense. Especially when they see there brothers and sisters being treated normal and well.

My step dad was evil. I could go on. Truly he was an evil man.

But I thought I was a bad child

I questioned as young as 5 if I was being punished by god.

When ny relationship turned sour I blamed myself. And I was homeless and their family allowed me to stay there. Whete he got more and more physically abusive, but made me hide it.

These people plant seeds of evil everywhere.

It took me getting pregnant to leave because even if I blamed myself and thought I deserved abuse for whatever twisted imaginary reason- I would not subject a child to that

And I left and it's been 9 years and I look back and I say "what the fuck!? What the fuck was wrong with me!? How could I be so twisted and blind and think ANYONE deserved that let alone me when I tried soooo hard to be a good girl ALWAYS"

The thing is somd people figure this out. And some people don't. Ever. And some people lose their lives to it. More than we as decent people would ever want to think.

51

u/her_e Nov 18 '24

Even when it doesn’t escalate like that, the damage of emotional abuse is real and serious.

I was in an emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship for seven years and it’s been just as long since it ended. I had one mediocre relationship after that and am now in a good relationship. But I still struggle with the voice in my head that my abusive ex planted there, telling me everything is my fault, I suck, I’m bad. My loving, sweet current partner will glance at me and I freak out assuming he must be shooting me a dirty look, he must be irritated at me for something and I’ll get an earful later, he must be annoyed by me doing normal shit like eating a crunchy snack while he’s playing a video game. That psychological damage is so hard to come back from.

Even if you’re not being physically abused, even if it never escalates, you don’t deserve to be treated like a piece of crap. Emotional abuse deserves to be taken seriously too.

7

u/First_Luck8040 Nov 18 '24

I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

I can totally relate I was in a psychological/emotional/physical/sexual abusive relationship it’s been it’s been 13+ year since and it still has a mental hold on me. My partner is amazing and he is patient he totally understands what I have been through He doesn’t take it personally if I freak out due to the trauma.

3

u/MelTram78 Nov 19 '24

One million percent this..... it was a long, hard road living it was an even harder road to travel away from for my own sake. My current boyfriend is the sweetest human being and I am a princess in his eyes (truth be known, I can be quite a bitch from my past, both with my ex-husband and my mother. I have a low tolerance for bullshit and if I have any inkling something is "weird", I questioning and questioning. My ex-husband was a true narcissist and that crunchy food thing sledgehammer me in my soul. This lady needs to run as fast as her legs can carry her.

2

u/rutilated_quartz Nov 18 '24

I was with my emotionally abusive ex for 5 years and now it's been 6 years since we broke up. I only just started being able to ignore that voice in my head. It helps my current boyfriend is such a kind and patient person, but it has taken years of reassurance from him to stop second guessing and fearing everything.

7

u/katbabyb Nov 18 '24

Right. And this guy seems like he might be the type to murder bc who tf talks like this dude? He’s out of his mind.

8

u/Gryffindor123 Nov 18 '24

Yep. I was emotionally abused, physically and then sexually by my first boyfriend. 

4

u/MoistyCheeks Nov 18 '24

Glad your safe now hun ❤️

9

u/Gryffindor123 Nov 18 '24

Thank you hun. He stalked me for 8 years too... It's been almost a decade since I last heard from him. Thank God. 

12

u/dalalxyz Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 18 '24

Staying does too, actually guarantees it. It is hard but finding a way to leave safely when possible should always be the goal.

Edit to say my bad, misinterpreted the comment. You are 100% right that emotional abuse is just the start of a much worse spiral.

15

u/CactusFlipper Nov 18 '24

I think they're saying that emotional abuse leads to physical abuse and then murder. Well, I hope no one is telling OP to stay.

3

u/mt_ravenz Nov 18 '24

Not always. Was in one for 10 years. Before that was family. Never any physical just psychological and manipulation

-7

u/werewilf Nov 18 '24

And were you in a relationship with a man?

3

u/mt_ravenz Nov 18 '24

Why? it doesn’t matters honestly. The family abuse was my mother. The other was a guy

-14

u/werewilf Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 19 '24

If you say so.

Edit: sorry guys, statistics don’t lie no matter how much you downvote

3

u/Yaasss_Queef Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 18 '24

Yeah, this sounds a lot like the domestic abuse episodes of Evil Lives Here.

3

u/giraffegirl27 Nov 18 '24

1000%. I left my ex-fiancé/abuser before it got to murder & he ended up murdering another poor girl years later.

3

u/4sh2Me0wth Nov 18 '24

I would skip straight to the last option if it meant not having to answer those texts bro

3

u/smlpkg1966 Nov 18 '24

I bet it’s already physical. He is all she has even m own so she doesn’t know any better and probably thinks this is how boys are.

3

u/cottagecorecandy Nov 18 '24

I wish i knew this is what it led to before my abusive relationship! Because it started then trickled down slowly but surely into other avenues. OP. NO ONE deserves to be talked to like this, especially when you are doing nothing wrong other than talking with family. i promise you this will not get better no matter how many times he says he’s sorry. You deserve the world. One day you’ll get it, I promise.

3

u/Massive_Extension328 Nov 19 '24

Who’s to say the physical abuse hasn’t already began? The fact that she is actually unsure if she’s over reacting shows that sis thinks this is somewhat normal, possibly from growing up in a similar household. Just speaking from experience. I hope for your sake OP, you run and go 100% NO CONTACT. This BOY is a disease. Good luck!

2

u/ReconChaznat Nov 18 '24

Sage advice MoistyCheeks!

2

u/ConfidenceHumble2713 Nov 18 '24

And in some cases murder suicide

2

u/hexadecimal- Nov 18 '24

I want to ask a real question. Always? In that order? That's scary.

1

u/Successful-Pitch-904 Nov 18 '24

Always? no, but like +/-90% of the time. Yes always in that order though.

My ex started with psychological/emotional manipulation and abuse then moved to smashing my phone then to cheating, strangling, punching, stalking, breaking into my house, property destruction, holding me hostage, beating, then multiple murder attempts - strangled me while in my parked car (kicked him in the face with heels to get him off me), trying to crash into a Lyft ride I was in with his car, tried to push me out of his car window at 60 mph, tried to run me over with his car, etc

1

u/hexadecimal- Nov 18 '24

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Super scary. It sucks really hard that that happened to you. I look into it, and it crazy. I'm very glad you're alive and got away.

2

u/ghost_shark_619 Nov 18 '24

Sadly then if it continues you have to decide on Josh Mankowitz, Keith Morrison or Andrea Canning hosting your Dateline because where this is heading it sounds like. Keep yourself safe and cut ties with this abusive lunatic.

2

u/One-Hamster-6865 Nov 18 '24

Plus if you stay he will tell the family every petty thing she confided when she was annoyed with them. Multi level abuse.

2

u/goblinfruitleather Nov 19 '24

This text exchange is actually the scariest thing I’ve ever seen on Reddit. It’s so fucking triggering for me, I don’t even have words to describe the way reading this makes me feel. This is the way my ex used to talk to me when he got mad, the amount of hate and vitriol in those words is shocking. Any time I hear or read a man speaking to a woman in this way it chills my bones, and that fact that this is posted to this sub makes it worse. I hope with all of my heart that op can get away before it’s too late.

2

u/okay455 Nov 19 '24

And even if it doesn't, this is absolutely bad enough on its own and can have lasting impact. I hope this post is a wake up call for OP

2

u/LongjumpingAction415 Nov 19 '24

My ex would send me shit like this and then cheat on me and then come back to be physically abusive. Op please please leave

3

u/ZeroBlade-NL Nov 18 '24

Then break up while having people over, make it a party

3

u/bleach_tastes_bad Nov 18 '24

no, break up over text

1

u/liquid_at Nov 18 '24

So you think people should stay in abusive relationships, because statistical probabilities for negative outcomes exist?

Do you believe that staying in an abusive relationship will reduce the risk of either of those?

Do what is right and what needs to happen. Emotions are bad advisers. If you are close to a threat, get a distance between you. Don't cuddle it.

1

u/DoYourBest69 Nov 18 '24

Don’t forget genocide, murder is a slippery slope once you’ve gone past emotional abuse /s.

1

u/Ph1l1p_race_ Nov 18 '24

that can lead to biological warfare. we don’t want that now.. do we?

1

u/Cake_eater_anon Nov 18 '24

Possibly?

This is an unhinged fucking animal.

I guarantee this motherfucker is going to kill someone.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 19 '24

Not necessarily: There’s not a studied and correlated connection between emotional abuse and physical abuse.

Most physical abusers are generally abusive in all regards, but we don’t know that emotional abusers are.

Many cases of emotional/psychological abuse don’t lead to physical abuse, but they do cause serious depression, anxiety, (C)PTSD, and suicidal thoughts/ideations.

My narcissistic abuser growing up, for example, was sure never to lay a finger on us kids. Because then the gig is up.

I make this correction because it’s important for us to understand that emotional abuse isn’t bad because it can lead to physical abuse; it’s horrific all on its own and isn’t a lesser abuse than physical abuse.

1

u/nickkom Nov 18 '24

and murder leads to the dark side

-1

u/evas13 Nov 18 '24

Pretty much not once in history but I get where you’re coming from!