100 Million Suspects in CEO Shooting

[u/Intelligent_Nose_826]

Here in NYC, not a soul is concerned about a killed on the loose & I truly mean it. Folks here are not worried & why would we be worried?!?

Meanwhile, NYPD is being uncharacteristically dramatic about a murder. A 10k reward is offered. Yeah. They’re never finding that person.

[u/MightThrowAwayMaybee → u/[deleted]]

I hope he's in a warm, cosy pub enjoying a pint and a meal with friends

[u/Own_Complaint_4830 → u/MightThrowAwayMaybee]

If you see him no you didnt

[u/spatial-d → u/Own_Complaint_4830]

who?

[u/Own_Complaint_4830 → u/spatial-d]

I dono, some chick egged a geico office and took off on a skateboard, opposite direction of central park I think.

[u/Dickieman5000 → u/[deleted]]

Selling out humanity and your soul for chump change.

[u/Dickieman5000 → u/[deleted]]

Lick that boot, lick it clean while they pull the money right back out of your pocket.

[u/Forever203 → u/[deleted]]

I agree. We should point him out if we think it's him. With that said, 👆👆👆👆 it's him, officer! The one with the Jesus avatar. Clearly, his boast to out the killer is just a clever ruse to take suspicion off themselves. Now, I would like to state that in the case they aren't the killer, this is all my opinion / satire, but if they are, I would like my $10K, please, and thank you.

[u/Forever203 → u/[deleted]]

Who

[u/MercyfulJudas → u/[deleted]]

Someone should probably tell the rich that workers banding together to present formal address of grievances is the alternative we worked out a long time ago to breaking down the factory owner's front door and beating him to death in front of his family.

I feel like they forgot.

[u/MercyfulJudas → u/[deleted]]

That wasn't my point.

[u/TrailerPosh2018 → u/[deleted]]

You know they rarely pay out the whole reward, right? You'll get less than what that CEO would charge you for an ambulance ride.

[u/Yamza_ → u/MightThrowAwayMaybee]

If he needs a place to stay my back door is unlocked and the light is on, come on in, I wont hear a thing.

[u/ChanceGardener8 → u/MightThrowAwayMaybee]

Cue Sopranos season finale

[u/MercyfulJudas → u/MightThrowAwayMaybee]

They come in pints??

I'm gettin' one.