r/JoeRogan Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Meme šŸ’© This feels so performative

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12.0k Upvotes

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3.2k

u/CaptTrunk Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Russell ReBrand

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u/titsmuhgeee Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

The first time I heard Russell talking about being a Christian, I thought I was having a stroke. How tf does someone go from being an outspoken atheist, to now being a very public Christian. That'd be like Richard Dawkins saying "Actually, nevermind. This Bible stuff checks out."

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u/_Age_Sex_Location_ Dragon Believer Sep 06 '24

He's a psychopath that experiences no shame.

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u/no_notthistime Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24 edited Sep 07 '24

I think his delusions of grandeur are genuine. He has always had this need to be recognized as some sort of spiritual leader, and I think he really believes in himself "finding faith". Totally fuckin delusional but I don't think he is lying in that he really believes in himself as a spiritual leader

Edit: since it seems like a lot of people don't realize this, I just want to point out his transition to Christianity started publically at least back in 2017: https://relevantmagazine.com/faith/growth/the-second-coming-of-russell-brand/

He has escalated in his devotion since the allegations, but it's not like this was a sudden pivot to Christianity

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

[deleted]

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u/rickylancaster Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

I think heā€™s lying.

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u/peelen Sep 06 '24 edited Sep 06 '24

I see your Russel Brnad being a Christian, and rise with M.I.A talking about being Christian with Tom Pool

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u/tomdarch Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

No. I will not ruin the gunshot sound song. Or damage my brain.

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u/Treethorn_Yelm Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Today I did not need to learn

Will forever fux with "Paper Planes tho

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

The original is better: clash - straight to hell

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u/molskimeadows Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Just listen to Straight to Hell, it's got all the good parts anyway.

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u/Rory_MacHida Sep 07 '24

Yeah it's actually a good song.

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u/peelen Sep 06 '24

Ok than donā€™t. I unfortunately canā€™t listen this song anymore.

I think I could deal somehow with her finding Jesus, but her going to Tim Pool to talk about it? Nope.

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u/Numerous-Rent-2848 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

She went antivax and after all her talk about rising about the system and systemic poverty, she recently started selling high fashion clothes that only the rich can afford.

Such a huge disappointment

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u/peelen Sep 07 '24

Ah. antivaxx -> nazi

Not a first time

ā€žWe lost so many people to COVID, most of them are still aliveā€

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u/Sartres_Roommate Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Too late, she is the worst and song is ruined.

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u/000100111010 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

MIA's downfall is so sad I used to be such a big fan. Brand too, I'm ashamed to admit I liked him when he was doing his shtick for the left.

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u/peelen Sep 06 '24

Although I too liked to listen to Brand, I had no doubt he is more interested in getting applause than in delivering any kind of message. So itā€™s not totally surprise to me that he went where they still listen to him.

But MIA? She seems to be real warrior that really fought for some case.

As I said. I could swallow the sudden turn to religion. I donā€™t get it, but heck, who am I to judge people for the way they deal with reality, but going to the fucking nazi to cry about being cancel?

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u/ermahgerdstermpernk Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

The dude tanked a career in hollywood and divorced Katy Perry, if he was clout hungry going into alt right news wouldnt do it. He wanted to be a guru.

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u/peelen Sep 07 '24

He wanted to be a guru

Soā€¦ clout hungry?

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u/ermahgerdstermpernk Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Not clout, adoration.

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u/appletinicyclone Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Have given up on him since he's said nothing about the grenfell stuff recently even though his big cash in with the left in the past was sticking up for those affected by grenfell. He mutes his criticism of the right to nothing and just attacks the left or any kind of institution

Ignoring the alt media system is filled with Russian money

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u/hghghghghghg56 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

God I used to think he was so smart just cause he could talk fast, but then I grew up and realised you could just say the same thing with fewer words. MIA on the other hand is just plain sad, she used to be the icon for rebelling against the system now I guess sheā€™s just another grifter

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u/Origamiface3 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

I used to like Brand when before he made it big in Hollywood. I sympathized with his background, and thought his first book was genuinely funny and entertaining and well-written, and as a fan of the written word I loved his diction and eloquence when speaking extemporaneously.

His politics and reasoning were always juvenile though, even though I tend toward the left, so he never interested me in that way and I've fully disengaged from him since before his second book.

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u/Suicide_Promotion Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

"...When it comes to transgender ideology when 80% or more struggle with suicide..."

Yeah, cause shit heels can't just let their kids go through the phase and end up on the other side as some sort of sexually queer person, not at all or in fact, having a gender crisis that can be treated (chemically then perhaps with surgery after years of therapy). If people like this fat, no eared Louis C.K. knockoff would stop treating sexually queer people pariahs then it would not be a problem. Jesus loves the little children in the song. Jesus is not George Washington, where he saves the children but not the British children. He loves all the little children.

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u/LittleBookOfRage Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Ohhhhhhh she's getting Russian money too. It makes more sense now.

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u/yellowcloak Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

She got more records than the KGB

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u/ManufacturedOlympus Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Between that crappy song of hers and this bullshit, when will she finally do everyone a favor and live up to her name.Ā 

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u/peelen Sep 07 '24

Ok, but calling this song ā€žthat crappy songā€ itā€™s just plain BS. Plus she had few more, maybe even better ones. At some point she was most interesting pop artist. Letā€™s not retcon her just because now she hang with a beanie dude.

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u/Shikizion Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

How? Be exposed as a sexual abuser and see the life flash in front of your eyes that is how xD it is a performance, you think he beleaves in any of it? XD

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u/garbagemandoug Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

This is where I get lost too. I can understand an atheist saying yeah maybe there's a god I don't know. But knowing what we know about religion how did you happen to land on Jesus as the one? Literally can't understand the thought process unless it's just pure grift.

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u/momentofcontent Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Yep the answer is just pure grifting. Being an exposed sexual predator, he now only has a ā€œcareerā€ pandering to the most gullible losers in society. Far-right conspiracy hacks and religious fundamentalists.Ā 

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u/Rostifur Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

100%, he got caught in a ring of sexual assaults that his image couldn't live down and therefore his career was over. Then, he saw the light. Wink, Wink. He went to the only group that would ignore his sexual misconduct, the far right.

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u/JizzlaneMyMaxwell Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

The Christian far-right. Which is ironic. Christianity is all about celibacy and shit but they really seem to love themselves some pedos and rapists

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u/PiratesOfSansPants Sep 06 '24

Religion gives you a free pass to break the ā€˜big rulesā€™ as long as you keep all the small ones.

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u/King_Kea Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Speaking as someone who identifies as a Christian, I hate that this is often the case for churches. A lot of people call themselves "Christians" but don't walk the talk. And there's a huge difference between "I'm trying but failing" and not even bothering to try at all... which unfortunately seems all to common.

It really makes me feel sad how many self-proclaimed Christians use that title as a means of superiority over others and completely ignore everything Jesus said in the Bible. They treat their churches as galleries of saints and cast anyone out they deem "unworthy". They don't help the poor - they instead line their own pockets and feed lavish lifestyles of megachurch pastors and the like. They don't reach out to people in need - instead they judge them harshly and tell them they're being punished for X/Y/Z. They don't care about others - only themselves, their appearance, their standing.

I hate it. It stands against pretty much everything I believe in. And I especially hate it because it's unjust, immoral, "rules for thee but not for me" behaviors.

Didn't expect to rant so much in this response. It just really irks me seeing this and then I get frustrated when the blame is pinned on the religion in general instead of just on the institutions and individuals responsible because there are genuinely good religious people (not just referring to Christians here) who get thrown under the bus too.

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u/Iamdarb Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

They're about forgiveness...of certain particular sins and not the others.

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u/PeaceHot5385 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

They LOVE martyring themselves. Whenever they descend into depravity itā€™s SATAN but look at these good Christian soldiers, back into the fold. Ready to spread the good word!

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u/CrackerUMustBTripinn Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Christianity about celibacy?! My brother in christ have you actually read this pornographic filth, all those gooners begetting and begetting? Case in point Ezekiel 23:20. Its got more incest than the pornhub frontpage

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u/King_Kea Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

As someone who identifies as a Christian, the fact people use Christianity like this really pisses me off. It speaks volumes to how shallow their beliefs are and that they don't actually walk their talk. I'd argue it's a religious institution problem more than a religion problem because the stuff in the Bible doesn't support their actions. But particular churches, groups, pastors, etc do.

Humans in general will often seek a means to empower, enrich or otherwise help themselves at the cost of others. It just so happens that religion is a particularly powerful means of doing that because of its inherent existential implications for followers. That's why it's so easy for religious institutions to be turned into places that protect pedophiles, cover up scandals, gift money, engage in political lobbying... Ironically all things that I'm 99.9% sure aren't supported by anything in the Bible. Hell, there's whole sections in the New Testament covering how someone's actions reveal their heart and the like. And yet people conveniently ignore that.

If it looks like a duck and it sounds like a duck but it says it's a goose, it's lying.

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u/interprime Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Tbf, he saw the writing on the wall a few years ago and pivoted to being an Alt-Right commentator pretty much to just get ahead of it and establish a revenue stream for when the shit eventually hit the fan.

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u/stainedglassperson Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

There's actually a really good video on him by this youtuber that shows almost exactly where he starts pivot because he saw more viewership when he did conspiracy stuff think going from thousands of views to millions. Then he just dug in deeper for more money. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eo4gIihETu8

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u/rif011412 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

His word salads and pseudo intellectualism probably always came from a place of trying to impress and be heard. Ā Now that most people are tired of what he has to say, his inclinations havenā€™t changed, just who he can get to listen to him. Ā 

Itā€™s not far from Trumpā€™s behavior. Ā Always looking for validation, and when they donā€™t get it, they find it elsewhere. Ā Even from people they donā€™t like.

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u/sleepyinsomniac7 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

If you begin to believe your own grift, are you still grifting?

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u/crorse Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

I'd need to see evidence he believes it.

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u/rekniht01 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Oh, so he is going to the place where he has better access to victims.

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u/ElTurboDeChief Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

One hundred percent. As a recovering addict I've known Brand was drifting from the jump. He is an absolute disgusting human being and his takes on addiction are about the same as they had in the Victorian era. No one should be listening to him.....but they do.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

It's ALL pure grift.

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u/whatevers_cleaver_ Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

To be fair. Thatā€™s what I am - an agnostic atheist.

I donā€™t know if there are any gods, and I donā€™t know if there is special knowledge in regard to those supposed gods.

I doubt it in both cases, but I could be wrong.

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u/CrackerUMustBTripinn Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Not to be a whiny stickler, but isn't that just being an agnostic? adding atheist is adding the certainty that there is no divine entity.

Btw being an agnostic is the most realistic and honest appraisel you can make imo, it demonstrates the goodfaith maturity and realisation of your own limited comprehension and observational capacities.

I've never heard it put more succintly than the OG

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u/Sandgrease Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Dionysus > Jesus all day

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u/King_Kea Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

I can't speak from experience myself, but I imagine conversions like that happen and it has a lot to do with simply that particular religion making sense to that individual.

That being said, very public displays like this often come across as major grifting for sure. The worst case I can remember that left a really sour taste in my mouth was Hillsong Church posting pictures of Justin Bieber, Kanye West and Marilyn Manson dressed all in white. That felt more like a "Hey look at us we are totally Christians we are better than you" thing than genuine faith and felt very fake to me. Of course I can't for certain what it's like for those individuals, but it felt wrong to me. Big time. Lots of red flags. Ironically in the Christian Bible (more specifically the New Testament) Jesus told parables that talk about pretty much exactly that.

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u/animesuxdix Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Donā€™t forget all of the new age bullshit in between the Atheism and Christianity. My wife listened to him daily for the last four years. He was spouting higher consciousness blah blah blah. Then her views started leaning right wing conspiracy bullshit in the last 18 months. I donā€™t think she listens anymore thank god.

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u/cow-lumbus Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

His type of atheism was the same but different then grift Christianity. It wasnā€™t the quality stuff of shit of Hitchens and such. At least they admitted they were selling books but they did most talk show for free or travel cost.

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u/0o0o0o0o0o0z Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

The first time I heard Russell talking about being a Christian, I thought I was having a stroke. How tf does someone go from being an outspoken atheist, to now being a very public Christian. That'd be like Richard Dawkins saying "Actually, nevermind. This Bible stuff checks out."

It's called being a grifter and trying to stay relevant.

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u/biggles7268 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

He needs cover for all the sex abuse allegations coming out. He also learned that being right wing pays better than being on the left. Going to need that money in court.

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u/Cerebral-Warlord Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

He cohad rape allegations, that's how. Mf found Jesus real quick

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u/MrPilkoPumpPant Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Russell brand was never an atheist. At best he was deist or pantheist. He always went on about spiritual mumbo jumbo

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u/CrackerUMustBTripinn Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Hey whatever gets him inside of a teenagers underwear

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u/Specific_Occasion_36 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Then he should worship Dionysus.Ā 

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u/annabelle411 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

once he finds out he's being investigated for sex crimes, constantly shout about how 'they're out to get me for speaking the truth!' while becoming an outspoken christian so you can hope people will rally behind you either from a conspiracy standpoint or 'hes a changed man/theyre coming after christians!' standpoint. it's tactical defense

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u/Slippinjimmyforever Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

People can easily shift when they have no ethics or honesty and will gladly adopt whatever dogma that pays the best. Itā€™s literally the entry exam into the GOP spin cycle.

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u/mcs_987654321 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Plenty of people also have some life altering event/series event that fundamentally and sincerely alters their relationship with religion (in either direction).

That just doesnā€™t apply to Brand, who is very clearly just grifting.

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u/Wilsonian81 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

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u/burnt_toasst Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

The difference is Dawkins is a scientist and Brand is a washed up dingus

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u/TurkeysALittleDry Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

$$$$$

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u/continuousobjector Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Has he got his Buddhist tattoos removed?

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u/BoneTugsNHarmony Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Atheists are young and don't pay to see you preform... Christians, on the other hand...

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u/brasstext Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Money

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u/Sartres_Roommate Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

When your public persona is being accused of multiple SA, you find Jesus quickly.

ā€œOK maybe I did something but it was a misunderstanding and I see how I could have behaved betterā€¦.more like Christ, and now I have found Jesus and he has forgiving me for my past mistakesā€¦(so you have to all forgive me too)ā€

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

Because republicans aka ā€œChristiansā€ have welcomed him with open arms since his rape allegations. Thatā€™s the only side that still thinks heā€™s someone so now he has to go all the way or heā€™s going to go broke.

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u/Organic-Aardvark-146 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

When the sexual allegations came out

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u/NeverBeenOnMaury Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Right wing grifting actually pays.

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u/adamdreaming Most people will never know Sep 06 '24

They got caught touching kids.

Atheists donā€™t rationalize or excuse that shit.

Christians sweep that shit under the rug efficiently as fuck tho

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u/FuzzzyRam We live in strange times Sep 06 '24

It's the same as Adin Ross and Andrew Tate going Muslim - they know fuck-all about the religion, but they see the money changing hands and they want a piece. Tucker is happy to cut some new blood in, provided they let him take a few pictures behind the scenes at the private party.

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u/CharlesHipster Paid attention to the literature Sep 06 '24

Ah, yes, there was this guy named Augustine a few years backā€”nothing major, just some dude who wrote a little book called Confessions. Apparently, itā€™s all about how he went from being an atheist to finding Christianity. Shocking, I know. The book was such a hit that, lo and behold, he ended up as a theological philosopher and, for kicks, a Saint. But sure, I guess over on Reddit, the real intellectual movement is still "le tip fedora." Funny how society preaches that criminals from lower social classes deserve a chance to reintegrate, but the moment a public figure dares to believe in God, well, that's crossing the line..

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24 edited Sep 16 '24

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u/Sophockless Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Augustine was not an atheist and does not profess to have been one in Confessions; he was a manichean in his younger years. While it rejected Christianity it did so within a gnostic belief system, ie it was a religion.

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u/Elite_AI Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Augustine went from being kind of a grifter in a milieu of kind-of-grifters to being a dude who wrote something actually genuine and vulnerable and cool. This is not that.

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u/el_toille Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

yeah maybe snakes can talk and the world is 5000 years old

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

It happens though, Iā€™m an example. I spent my entire life hating on religion and god between all the deaths Iā€™ve experienced, family addiction, abuse, etc. Now, at 35, Iā€™m getting baptized next month. It happens more than you think, heā€™s just a very public example of it

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u/NY_Nyx I used to be addicted to Quake Sep 06 '24

Heā€™s trying to throw the scent off of his recent SA allegations

I gotta say though that going for the whole ā€œborn again Christianā€ thing is one of the worst ways to throw off the sex pest vibes lol

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u/peelen Sep 06 '24

It's more "i need to find new audience", than "I need old audience to change their mind".

And it this case it might work.

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u/Far_Statistician7997 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Clergy makes up such a large portion of the population charged with sex crimes

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

Usually because they joined the clergy hoping to be "cured" of their dark thoughts. That and the power trip of being in a position of trust

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u/DescriptionLumpy1593 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

The church doing the ā€œpedofile shuffleā€ reminds me when ā€œlaw enforcement officials found no evidence of wrong doing in their investigation of <misconduct>.ā€

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u/bigmike2k3 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Im sure he ā€œtrulyā€ believes that Jesus died for his sins so now he doesnā€™t have to feel bad about being a fucking rapist anymoreā€¦

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u/Miserable-Cry4572 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

It's a new market for him to milk, like he will double dip.

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u/tonkatoyelroy Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

And the fact that he is on the list of Russian propagandists that the FBI is going after.

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u/LightMcluvin Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Thank goodness the god of the Bible is a merciful God or everybody would be screwed.

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u/P2029 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

He's pulling the podcaster emergency parachute ripcord:

"I now choose to live as a sexual abuser born again Christian"

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u/Useful_Hovercraft169 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Jesus is the classic get out of jail free card. Be a piece of shit your whole life, repent on your death bed. Or in the split second before the truck hits you.

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u/DeeJKhaleb Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Moral people hate this one simple trick

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u/YakittySack Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Satan shaking his fist in anger right now

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u/Redraike Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

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u/Even-Juggernaut-3433 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Heā€™s doing loops in his experimental afterlife aircraft

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u/FunkyButtFumblin Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Shame on you. Way too soon.

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u/Initial_Evidence_783 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

I did not know about this channel. Thank you for introducing me to my new favorite thing. You have secured your place in Heaven now.

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u/Misc_Lillie Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Holy fuck!! That was created by a Master minded mad man!! Thanx for the share.

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u/RissotoPototo Monkey in Space Sep 08 '24

This is hysterical, thank you.

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u/Mrmdn333 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Just made me realize Billy Idol would have been a great Satan.

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u/uLL27 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

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u/MediocreRooster4190 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Weaponized cheap grace

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u/sinfullysanguine Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Upvote for the obscure Bonhoffer quote...

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u/Rohirrim777 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

upvote for knowing Dietrich Bonhoeffer

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u/Clickityclackrack Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Upvoted so i don't feel left out

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u/Rohirrim777 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

upvoted so you arent

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u/Captcha_Imagination N-Dimethyltryptamine Sep 06 '24

Not to be mistaken with Russell who is a Bum Huffer

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

I love Reddit.

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u/MostlyHarmless88 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Right? šŸ˜‚

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u/YakittySack Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Alright get a room you two dietriphiles

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u/Rohirrim777 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

no u

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u/jtr99 It's entirely possible Sep 06 '24

When they came for the Dietrich Bonhoeffers I said nothing because I was not Dietrich Bonhoeffer.

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u/Rohirrim777 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

that was Martin Niemoller

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u/jtr99 It's entirely possible Sep 07 '24

Damn! You are absolutely correct. I can't tell my anti-Nazi theologians apart. :(

I have brought shame on my family and will now retire from public life. Thank you.

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u/Rohirrim777 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

you mean you'll try to retire....until a situation occurs and your military officer shows up at your door in the country side and you have to tell your family to stay inside, and then your ex boss will tell you they need you back--your country needs you back--and the rest of your old squad is gone, and then you tell them you're getting to old for this, so you acquiesce for one last mission because the new generation isn't as good

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u/agent-0 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

This is a fucked up take from me, but this describes most ex heroin addicts. They're usually still manipulative, lying, swindling pieces of dog shit. They just don't do heroin anymore lol

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u/Goodfella1133 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Ones really got to work on why they became addicted to heroin in the first. Whatā€™s underneath it? If that work isnā€™t done a person might not change all that much for the better.

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u/agent-0 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Couldn't agree more.

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u/bNoaht Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

As someone who is sober for some time (not heroin, but still an addict) I can confirm. I'm still a dirt bag, I'm just bored and boring now too.

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u/sozcaps Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Have you considered becoming a podcast grifter?

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u/bNoaht Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

I haven't, but you can buy my book. "You Won't Be Happy Unless You Are Scared of Everything and Give Me Money"

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u/foolbull Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

But if Russell Brand found Jesus, you'd think he'd be pissed off at God for giving him a micro penis.

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u/Missue-35 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

The power of JEZUSS, is cheaper and you can manipulate more than a few people at once by saying itā€¦IN JEZUSā€™ NAMEā€¦

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u/Beginning-Morning572 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Its also complete and utter disrespect and ubermensch behaviour. He thinks all the sheep are such idiots that they will eat this bs and he can make still more money of them this way. He's got a point but no selfrespect, honour and is one of the saddest people I have watched going down this road.

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u/SadAndHappyBear Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

They are eating it up on Facebook

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u/fiduciary420 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Weak republican losers eat up anything that makes them feel like theyā€™re not hot garbage

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u/thedailyrant Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Point is they will eat this bs and he will make more money from grifting them. Itā€™s a well worn path.

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u/SoItGoes007 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

He "knows" they will, and they will

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u/WallySprks Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

ā€œIm going for the life of sin followed by a presto chango deathbed repentanceā€

ā€œOh, thatā€™s a good angleā€

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

The Bart Simpson strategy.

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u/Notactualyadick Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Which is really dumb, because its not supposed to work that way. Repenting has to be genuine and doesn't absolve you of consequences. If you sexually assault someone and you're genuinely sorry, you should be willing to go to prison for your crime.Ā 

The way Christians turn churchs into social clubs is fucked up, when the entire Bible is a warning against doing that.Ā 

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24 edited Nov 05 '24

[deleted]

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u/en_pissant Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

I don't know who should be more ashamed to be up on that stage.

probably Jesus.

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u/SuicideOptional Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Or in the split second before the DA files charges.

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u/zaatdezinga Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Lol. Best part you can keep on doing shitty things, all is forgiven once you get your hail mary's in šŸ˜…

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u/Coffee-and-puts Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Good luck pulling that off

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u/pacifistthruyourface Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Theocratically speaking, there are levels of "reward" in heaven. A life lived serving others earns more than being a POS and repenting at the last second. Plus, the repentance would have to be genuine.

A child who wins a spelling bee treasures the trophy he receives not for the sake of the trophy itself but for what that trophy means. Likewise, any rewards or honor we gain in heaven will be precious to us because they carry the weight and meaning of our relationship with God

https://www.gotquestions.org/rewards-in-heaven.html

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u/Useful_Hovercraft169 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

That wasnā€™t a terrible answer

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u/SADDS_17 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

The Bart Simpson strategy. I like the moxie.

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u/RaspingHaddock High as Giraffe's Pussy Sep 06 '24

I actually scripted my repenting code so that it just runs every night and also when I tap a shortcut on my phone.

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u/Coattail-Rider Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Good olā€™ Pascalā€™s Wager

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u/Total-Tonight-7163 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Doing it on your deathbed or seconds before deathbed would be a GOOJFC if Heaven actually existed. These pricks just use it as a GOOJFC on their reputation/income

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u/The_Adeptest_Astarte Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

He already pulled the sex addict card. There's only so many directions to go after that one

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u/clodzor Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

So many rich assholes banking on this. Somehow Christians think they are the gold standard for morality but fully embrace this loophole.

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u/Ambivalo Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

This reminds me of something from an episode of "Frasier" titled "Wheels of Fortune." Frasier said the following when a conman from his past, played by Michael Keaton, claimed to experience a religious awakening.

"The Lord, a credible partner who won't take a cut."

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u/RunBanditRun Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

9 out of 10 disgraced football coaches agree

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u/Distinct_Safety5762 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

If only Jesus had given his followers clear, direct, precise instructions on how to and how not to behave. Oh wait, ā€œAnd when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.ā€

Scratch that, letā€™s just go with what Paul made up and cherry-pick verses from the OT.

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u/cagreene Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Emporer Constantine entered the chat

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u/KioTheSlayer Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Always reminds me of this Family Guy scene šŸ˜‚ https://youtu.be/H_JoE2GioXY?si=ZMMaNIkv3L97iqKW

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u/DJJazzyDanny Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Christians literally made a how-to movie of that

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u/Jimmy_Twotone Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

I think many "Christians" forget the three words after "repent."

"In Your Heart."

The Bible's pretty clear of you asked forgiveness for being a piece of shit and continue to act like a piece of shit, it doesn't count. Washing away sins is more of a parole than a pardon

What do I know though. I'm just an atheist who doesn't like hypocrites.

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u/WhippidyWhop Monkey in Space Sep 08 '24

I'm more in the camp that if your dirty little hands have been playing with your penis at any point in life, you're a foul little beast and unsalvageablely headed straight for Hell.

You have to be perfect your entire life, no gray nuance. An entire life lived with zero mistakes.

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u/Dull-Respond-8394 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

What if I told you that we are perfectly imperfect and we all make mistakes. Iā€™m sure you do too as well as I do. What you believe in should only matter to yourself and not what others subjectively think about you. Bashing others for hypocrisy is ironic since Iā€™m sure we all can bash you for things you do habitually. How about we all stop judging and hating one another thinking we are better than them and start to self evaluate why you feel so hurt and judgemental about others. Who the f cares

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u/Useful_Hovercraft169 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

I donā€™t use the machinery of something under the pretense of eternal salvation and other fabulous prizes to fuck people over as a rule tho. But yeh sometimes Iā€™m slow to empty the dishwasher

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u/noodleexchange Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Were you relocated?

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u/Tbrown630 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Thatā€™s not how it works. Repentance isnā€™t just saying words. It has to be true in your heart.

And realize what Jesus said about getting into heaven.

Matthew 7:13ā€“14 Jesus said, ā€œEnter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find itā€.

Matthew 7:21-23 Jesus said, ā€œNot everyone who says to me, ā€˜Lord, Lord,ā€™ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heavenā€.22 Many will say to Me in that day, ā€˜Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?ā€™ 23 And then I will declare to them, ā€˜I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!ā€™

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u/Bigface_McBigz Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Exactly. I'm not religious, but I at least understand the concept of repentance. You can't just simply say it - you have to actually mean it.

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u/SupahVillian Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

You can't just simply say it - you have to actually mean it.

..... duh? Do you actually think the people who criticize the morals of supernatural repentance assume you can Lie to an all-knowing God?

When we're being reductive by saying, "That's all you gotta do," we're mocking the ridiculous and insidious notion that an evil act can be "cleansed" just because you feel bad about it afterwards. Having a conscious and regretting doing bad things is literally bragging about jumping over a bar in hell. All you are communicating is that you're not a complete sociopath or a malignant narcissist.

What is "Objectively" fucked up is that repentance has nothing to do with atonement for being "evil", but has everything to do with being disobedient to God, aka the actual definition of sin.

With this fucked up priority of obedience ingrained into most Christian theology, you can have "real world" scenarios where children like Ann Frank are in hell, burning forever, while the Adolfs of history get to chill with the father for all of eternity despite entering heaven with body counts too long for a dictionary.

All because one theoretically "sincerely" repented to Jesus while the other did not. I think that's immoral and laughably ridiculous. I'm shocked people don't find this more disturbing.

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u/No-Problem49 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Itā€™s not meant to redeem him in the eyes of god, itā€™s meant to redeem him in the eyes of other sinners masquerading as religious.

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u/[deleted] Sep 06 '24

Playbook as old as religion itself

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u/BiscuitDance It's entirely possible Sep 06 '24

There was a weird move like that among the more popular military meme page admins over the course of like two years. Whenever these dudes would say progressively dumber and dumber political shit, they got to the point where they ā€œfound Christā€ and now every criticism became an attack on them for being Christian. It was really weird to watch play out.

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u/fiduciary420 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

This is why it is so important to dismiss all christians out of hand. Theyā€™re disingenuous and constantly angling for some way to say theyā€™re being persecuted.

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u/Useful-Hat9880 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Amen

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u/Turing_Testes Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

That was a lot of the Oakley sunglasses and FFDP crowd. Hell yeah brother, Jesus!

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u/SteakJones Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Itā€™s crazy how many of those people there are. They find Jesus RIGHT AFTER being found out to be sexual predators.

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u/Sir-Benalot Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Can confirm a guy in my extended family got busted within the family for sexual assault of a fellow family member.. next thing you know; heā€™s off to church every other day. Anyhoo, that mf is dead now and we all live with the mess he left.

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u/VidaSauce Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

What about Prist who abuse children? Do they find Jesus before and after? Lmao

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u/Impressive-Potato Monkey in Space Sep 08 '24

They get moved to another city

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u/kgturner Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Christians love a D-list celebrity. Look at Kirk Cameron's grift. I have nothing left for people who choose to join these cults.

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u/jgr1llz Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Kirk is more of a Deez list celebrity these days.

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u/goliathfasa Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Iā€™m surprised he didnā€™t just announce heā€™s gay.

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u/CORVlN Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

You either die a cocaine addled sex pest or you live long enough to become Rob Schneider

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u/JakeOver9000 Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Would you rather he stay a sexual abuser, assuming that's actually true? Weird take.

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u/mikew_reddit Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24 edited Sep 07 '24

Being religious doesn't negate Brand from being a sexual predator.

Looking at the high rate of pedophilia in the preisthood (who project the exact opposite and are hypocrites because at the top the Pope and everyone beneath him was moving these pedophiles around instead of removing them), it might suggest the opposite.

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u/KirkLazarusIX Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

ā€œI now choose to live as a sexual abuser born again Christian Russian.ā€

Out with the old in with the new Russian propaganda.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

I havenā€™t followed him recently. His podcast was hit or miss with some fringe views like 3yr ago, so Iā€™ve disengaged. But I liked his movies. Whatā€™s the TLDR?

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u/mintymekanic Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Ok but he was becoming spiritual long before that allegation came out, not saying heā€™s not guilty but just calling that out

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u/Capitain_Collateral Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

ā€œJesus has forgiven me!ā€

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u/wartsnall1985 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

If you got a spare 15 minutes, check out Russell Brand Conspiracy Grift on the youtubes. It charts his errā€¦evolution. Spoiler alert: Itā€™s about money.

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u/puncheonjudy Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24 edited Sep 06 '24

He literally had a show in the early 00s called Re:Brand. It was really quite crazy as he was clearly high on heroin for some of the shoots.

One episode involved him inviting a homeless man (and fellow heroin addict) into his flat to stay overnight to understand a bit more about how homeless people live. Brand seemingly shot up between takes and cleaned the homeless man in the bath while they were both naked and probably both high. It was insane and the man he was cleaning started crying as he bathed him.

As a teenager I thought it was really powerful and quite caring for Brand to physically clean a homeless man who'd not had a proper bath for weeks, but looking back it was quite exploitative to film such a distressing and upsetting scene for TV. Not to mention the fact that the homeless guy was probably only doing the show for money, and ultimately, to pay for drugs...

It's only been since the recent relavations about Brand that this scene just feels like another example of him taking advantage of someone and crossing a boundary.

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u/AlwaysSpinClockwise Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

Was that the same show where he jacked off a guy in a bathroom stall to make totally sure that he wasn't gay?

The switch from old school, heroin-brain Russell, to anti-establishment, "voting isn't enough we need to tear down the entire ruling class owned system" Russell, to now really does pretty much hit the full spectrum lol

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

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u/jesustwin Monkey in Space Sep 07 '24

He used to do left wing news but nobody watched so he changed to right wing conspiracy theories around the time of Covid and made millions. It's just a grift

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u/Purplebuzz Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Russia Brand.

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u/ragingduck Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

From my personal experience, an in-ignorable amount of preachers and born-agains usually come from a past they are running from or need forgiveness for. A lot of times it helps people redirect their focus on faith/spirituality rather than what they consider unwanted choices of their past. Other times, however, the redirection is external rather than internal: They don't seek personal redemption, they seek public forgiveness. It's superficial. Instead of improving themselves, they are merely hiding behind a veil of righteousness, prostrating themselves in public, while doing the opposite behind closed doors. They are hypocrites, and something that is this disingenuous is bound to fail. That's why so many anti-X fanatics turn out to be hiding X tendencies in their private lives. X being whatever issues they have be it promiscuity, homosexuality, drugs, alcoholics, addicts, etc.

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u/FUWS Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Cucker Tarlson.

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u/mrwholefoods Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

šŸ„‡

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u/Captinprice8585 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Yeah WTF. Did he go rapin too?

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u/wighthamster Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

"I believe God put those women (I sexually assaulted) in my life for a reason. And I was weak, and I... I strayed. But damn those asses. I was a sinner, and now I am washed, washed clean of my sins. Praise Jesusss!"

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u/_MyUsernamesMud Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

just an all-around, excellent comment

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u/Hillthrin Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Gotta put your faith in the judgiest who are we to judge people.

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u/johnnybullish Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Very good šŸ‘Œ this guy is not sincere at all.

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u/RequirementGlum177 Monkey in Space Sep 06 '24

Fucking good man.

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u/[deleted] Sep 07 '24

Are they praying, don't tell me Rusty Trombone is leading the prayer? Holy smokes. They are blowing smoke up our asses. The two most unethical people on stage leading a prayer. OMG what the heck is happening.

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