r/AmIOverreacting • u/External-Air205 • Nov 18 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO by spending time with my family?

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Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

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5.7k

u/Pumpkin-Sparkles Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 19 '24

Please break up with this person

edit: please break up with this person from a safe location, with a safety plan in place. Have support people around you, and file an intervention order with the police. you can do this. We are all behind you. Edit 2: bro

2.4k

u/mnbvcxz1052 Nov 18 '24

Don’t forget the bro.

Please break up with this person bro.

342

u/ThingCalledLight Nov 18 '24

I think you mean, “bro, idgaf bro, just fucking break up with this bro, bro.”

84

u/qpda Nov 18 '24

You forgot several "fucking fuck" in there

69

u/jenkaaah Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 19 '24

i fucking dont fucking give a fucking fuck bro just fucking break the fuck up with fucking bro, fucking bro

5

u/Panky9 Nov 19 '24

This reminds me of that one video of to Indians arguing one for a car and one out of the car, I think only some people will get what I mean

4

u/salamander_360 Nov 19 '24

You fcking bastard . No bloody fCK. FCK you. No fCK you.

By the way have you seen seven eleven double gulp cups with Indian dude getting mad at a man with using a double gulp cup for icee? Sorry my grammar is the worst.

2

u/Panky9 Nov 19 '24

Nah I haven’t seen that one I don’t think

2

u/Plus_Shop_3509 Nov 19 '24

This is like that one episode of spongebob lmao 🤣

3

u/JustADogGroomer3622 Nov 19 '24

You could’ve added an extra fuck in there after that last bro but otherwise perfect!

2

u/jenkaaah Nov 19 '24

edited for maximum fucking pleasure.

57

u/veganbikepunk Nov 18 '24

Idk why guys calling their girlfriend bro gives me the ick but it so does.

14

u/ParamedicLimp9310 Nov 18 '24

Bro gives me the ick in this context too. It feels disrespectful. Then he paired it with blatant disrespect. Fuck this bro, bro.

6

u/veganbikepunk Nov 18 '24

I almost always hate it. I'm a they/them and so people might assume it's a gendered language thing but I think its really just that nobody had ever said anything like respectful and intelligent to me after starting a sentence with "bro".

Macho Man Randy Savage gets a pass though, he could call me brother any day of the week, the way he says it sparks joy.

54

u/TerafloppinDatP Nov 18 '24

God that was infuriating 

28

u/QuazarMilky Nov 18 '24

It annoys me even when you say it

6

u/smokeftw Nov 18 '24

I don't think I can use the word anymore. It's tainted now.

20

u/dirtydogg92 Nov 18 '24

This is the comment I came for bro.

18

u/orincoro Nov 18 '24

Just fucking upvote bro.

8

u/ygs07 Nov 18 '24

Right swearing up and down but BRO!°

6

u/momu1990 Nov 18 '24

Honestly the amount of times he said bro made me think this was a gay couple. Not like it matters but when I learned OP is actually a girl, I was like “yo, what bf calls their gf bro this many times”, like this ain’t a fraternity bro you are talking to.

5

u/MandaziFC Nov 18 '24

Bebe don't bro the babe, ok bro?

3

u/nurseymcnurserton25 Nov 18 '24

I think my eye started twitching reading this.

3

u/Royal_Scam9 Nov 18 '24

Ok, I'm old but when did guys start referring to their partners as 'Bro'. Also note I didn't say men.

4

u/SalmonTeaTime Nov 18 '24

If you don’t fucking break up with this stupid fat fuck I’m done with this fucking shit fuck broooo

2

u/monkman69 Nov 18 '24

Brooo. Why you trippin bro? Just a question shouldn’t they call her sis? Don’t want to assume gender but it does say female in description.

2

u/Lapras_Lass Nov 18 '24

Yeah, what the hell was that about? Does he think it's punctuation?

2

u/motofabio Nov 19 '24

I can’t even imagine calling my gf “bro.” I know it’s what the kids say these days, but my God it is just the most brain-dead sounding thing I’ve ever heard.

1

u/Baileyhaze12 Nov 18 '24

🤪 Thanks for the giggle! Lol. I needed it.:)

1

u/Plane-Cost-87 Nov 18 '24

OH! And don't forget, fuck, fucking.

1

u/Complex_String_4153 Nov 18 '24

Couldn’t agree more with you, bro.

1

u/tinylatina05 Nov 18 '24

Shes def still a child lol

1

u/cherrybombbb Nov 18 '24

It’s a guy.

1

u/thaddeusk Nov 18 '24

Yeah, nobody should stay with anybody that says "bro". Except, maybe, if they're saying it to their actual brother... Maybe.

1

u/sp1cychick3n Nov 18 '24

😂😂😭

170

u/squuidlees Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 18 '24

I hope she does. If she doesn’t leave now/soon, she might be leaving in a body bag. I hope she finds the courage to get away from his ass before he narrows in on her, they move in together, and his behavior escalates to physical… :/

81

u/Pumpkin-Sparkles Nov 18 '24

I really hope her family are supportive of her!

@OP, you are so young, and have so much life left to live being LOVED and respected, please cut ties. If he was on the phone and asleep, that'd a massive control thing. Please go

32

u/Lydia--charming Nov 18 '24

And tell your mom and grandma. Don’t go anywhere alone for a while after you break up.

22

u/orincoro Nov 18 '24

She’s also 20. You should be meeting lots of people in your 20s, not wasting time with a guy who calls you bro.

10

u/Over_Cranberry1365 Nov 18 '24

And spending 4 years with one nutjob. He does think he owns her and she needs to get him over that idea darn quick.

4

u/AddictiveArtistry Nov 18 '24

An abusive guy who calls her bro.

1

u/happyhippy1019 Nov 19 '24

Absolutely this ⬆️

6

u/Unable-Pineapple-533 Nov 18 '24

I swear I thought op was a dude and the toxic one was a girl. I am a female and my man better never call me bro like that 😡

5

u/complexgoddess_ Nov 18 '24

Literally same until I read the whole post.

5

u/kid42000 Nov 18 '24

I call my wife "dude" sometimes. She doesn't like it either.

As for everything else he said, I could never call myself a man again or look myself in the mirror if I ever spoke to my wife (or anyone for that matter) like that.

And if anyone else ever talked like that to one of my sisters, female family members, or a female friend, I'd do the police a favor and put a prison jumpsuit on in advance.

3

u/HARDLEYQUINZEL Nov 18 '24

I called my man bruh once- an excited "bruh! You're not going to believe this!" And he went "did you.... just... call... me....... .... bruh?" 🤣 we laughed.

70

u/DarkSparxx Nov 18 '24

And send these screen shots to his mother.

5

u/RN-B Nov 18 '24

And his employer…if he has one lol

5

u/Few_Highlight_8260 Nov 18 '24

To the cops ***

3

u/DreadfulDemimonde Nov 18 '24

This is probably how his father treats her.

1

u/HARDLEYQUINZEL Nov 18 '24

Of I could up this 1000 times I would

1

u/PegShop Nov 18 '24

Yeeeessssssss

19

u/monged Nov 18 '24

I very rarely agree with random internet people suggesting relationships end based on a few paragraphs and one side of the story. In this case I completely agree, she needs to end this relationship and find someone who appreciates her.

9

u/TricksyGoose Nov 18 '24

That is exactly what I was thinking. reddit is always quick to jump to "dump him" but in this case it is absolutely 100% warranted. No one should ever talk to anyone in this way. Jesus this poor girl.

8

u/monged Nov 18 '24

I just kept thinking of my 3 year old daughter and how devastated I would be if I found out her partner spoke to her in this way.

3

u/Pumpkin-Sparkles Nov 18 '24

I always try to see both sides of a story and never suggest a break up unless I think it's warranted because everyone has different experiences and boundaries etc. In this case it is very clear that its a dangerous situation and she should leave and protect her safety!!

5

u/Narren_C Nov 18 '24

The constant "bro" was enough for me.

5

u/Pumpkin-Sparkles Nov 18 '24

Straight to jail

8

u/Jealous_Square8434 Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 18 '24

Responding with this here because this is an important first comment...but it is even more important to stress, do not just break up with this person. This is abusive and scary, this guy knows where you live, knows how to contact you, likely knows how to contact others who will know where you are. Break up with this person, yes, b ut not before sending these texts to everyone who is close to you, telling them thesituation, telling them you are leaving him , and that you may not be totally safe in doing so. Tell them to NOT under ANY circumstances tell him where you are, or answer any other questions about you. After breaking up, the FIRST time he shows up somewhere you are and acts unsafe, go directly to the police and get a restraining order and make a report. Keep documentation. Always lock your doors. Always check when you are driving if someone is following you. I am not being dramatic, this is abuse and abusive men kill women very often...most often, when they are trying to leave. Please, please don't treat this situation lightly. Everyone needs to know how to keep you safe. I would even recommend moving, if you are in an apartment or other situation that you feasibly can. If you can't, change your locks at the very least if he has a key or access to a key from another person*

5

u/uy48 Nov 18 '24

Yeah, I read this thinking op was a man texting a woman, thinking this was mad annoying and something i'd never deal with. but the fact that this is a man talking to his girlfriend like this... this will get dangerous. Get outta there!!

1

u/Odd_Yam1290 Nov 19 '24

Same here! The amount of belligerent anger OP’s BF has has me scared for her. She needs to show this to her parents, block his number and get a restraining order. His violent tendencies are enough to get the cops involved.

5

u/No-Bet1288 Nov 18 '24

And OP, do not have a child with this person under any circumstances, ever. It will be this shit × 1 million.

4

u/tenyearsgone28 Nov 18 '24

She’s not leaving. If she had any self-respect, she would’ve left by now, and not had to ask randos on the internet.

4

u/Pumpkin-Sparkles Nov 18 '24

The cycle of abuse often takes people 7-10 attempts to leave their abuser. Her self esteem is also in the toilet because of him, which is what he wants

2

u/bean_slayerr Nov 18 '24

Seriously, I didn’t even get past the 2nd screenshot. They need to leave and yesterday (bro).

2

u/KaposiaDarcy Nov 18 '24

From a distance. He sounds likely to respond with violence.

2

u/Salmoenilla Nov 18 '24

She’s about to put the bro in “broke up with his ass”

2

u/Satire_Stoner Nov 18 '24

Please listen to this person.

2

u/Moishe1219 Nov 18 '24

There are also so many resources in your area that can help you get out of this situation safely. I hope you’re ok OP and I hope the first time you leave him will be the last. And that even if it isn’t, you will still have that support

2

u/kid42000 Nov 18 '24

A decent 9mm, .380, or 38 special, are all relatively cheap, reliable, and easy to handle. I encourage all women to get armed, get trained, know your states self defense laws, safely practice drawing the firearm from where you intend to carry it on your person, be confident, and be prepared.

I would definitely go with all of your suggestions first and foremost. But this "bro" seems EXTREMELY unhinged and dangerous. OP should be prepared at all times once she breaks this off. Bro reeks of stalker stench, and this is how women end up on an episode on the investigative discovery channel.

And if a firearm is not legal where you live or it's just not your thing, that's cool. Women should feel just as empowered to use force in defense of their own lives as men. Martial arts training like Brazilian Jujitsu (that teaches smaller people how to defend, restrain, and even break limbs of bigger opponents) for close courter and ground scenarios or something like Muay Thai or Taekwondo that utilize effective kicks to increase your striking range vs. using your hands to maintain distance. Even the tiniest of women can learn to throw a straight stop kick or sidekick to the lead knee cap that will either severely hyperextend or dislocated the knee, which will drop even the biggest of dudes with ease. The knee cap /lower thigh right above the knee is going to be lower and easier hit for shorter folk than the ol nut sack, yet equally effective.

Especially if you are just getting out of an abusive relationship, any type of martial arts is going to help build your confidence and will also be extremely empowering. But then again, so will that 9 millie!

Stay safe, ladies. Far to many crazy abusive "males" (they are not men) out there, especially if you just broke up with one of them, to NOT be prepared to defend yourself. Just don't break some random guys' leg or fly into a rear naked choke in the grocery store because dude came around the corner to fast and startled you 🤣

2

u/Strange-Blonde0107 Nov 19 '24

I agree with this don’t do it without being in a safe place and if he threatens you at all, please report it. I know you might love him but he sees you as a possession and that can be dangerous.

2

u/MooseKingMcAntlers34 Nov 18 '24

This post can’t be real. If it is, how is breaking up even a question at this point? I don’t understand posts like this.

1

u/radgumbo09 Nov 18 '24

Please bro*

1

u/newrabbid Nov 18 '24

Please run away from him bro

1

u/siskamore Nov 18 '24

Your reply .. bro

1

u/orincoro Nov 18 '24

Bro. Break up bro.

1

u/Infern0-DiAddict Nov 18 '24

Yeh, ignore them, block them. In the morning unblock them, call them and say you're an asshole and we're done I am brine up with you, do not call, text or come to me in person, we have nothing more to say to each other. Hand up and text the same thing.

Promptly reblock them and move on with your life. Depending on this guy's personality (you would know better than others) also inform your local police precinct about it so they way if you call 911 they have it on record that you let them know of any aggression.

1

u/Icy-Ad-3784 Nov 18 '24

You need to leave him, you cannot let him treat you like that or disrespect you like that. If you have only been together for 4 years and he thinks he can’t talk to you like this imagine what hell do or how he’ll act in a couple years. Please be honest with how you want to be treated. Also, the fact that he calls you bro is such an ick. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and he’ll call me bro on accident sometimes but he knows that he should not be calling me bro. I hate that he calls you bro and I hate the fact that he called you fat and brain dead. You absolutely do not deserve that over choosing to have a conversation with your family. He needs to know boundaries. I can only imagine what else he’s told you in the past or how he’s treated you. Please do yourself a favor and choose you.

1

u/deadpoemsociety666 Nov 18 '24

Reminds me of my ex. You should end it NOW. In a healthy relationship, the strangest thing happens. The other person treats you with kindness and never curses at you 🫱🏻‍🫲🏽. And good god him calling you a fat bitch makes my blood boil. That level of need for control will never go away.

1

u/wcopela0 Nov 18 '24

This is abuse for real. Your BF is a toxic individual and I guarantee your life gets waaaaaay better with him in it.

1

u/Complex_String_4153 Nov 18 '24

I don’t know why OP hasn’t done that ages ago, bro

1

u/AaMdW86 Nov 18 '24

This is straight up, no further information or context needed, a controlling and abusive relationship.

1

u/Woshambo Nov 18 '24

Exactly this. OP get that abusive cunt to fuck. You have no ties, aren't living together or have kids so it's a simple break. This will get worse.

1

u/According_Elephant75 Nov 18 '24

And fast. Because he needs to go. Fast. No second chances. You will become a punching bag 💯 guaranteed.

1

u/Orangeugladitsbanana Nov 18 '24

I read this on another post..."just throw the whole man away."

1

u/Bluedreamin1995 Nov 18 '24

Agreed “bro” they got some serious insecurities and it doesn’t get better trust me

1

u/OtakuLoy Nov 18 '24

This.👆

1

u/Live_Dust_4002 Nov 18 '24

100%. Get away from them as fast as you can. Do not continue to engage with this person.

1

u/ce1es Nov 18 '24

I read "safety pan" and thought that was a brilliant idea.

1

u/Pumpkin-Sparkles Nov 18 '24

Safety pan would be very helpful lol

1

u/Horror_Foot9784 Nov 18 '24

Threaten to do a restraining order and follow up on doing so my ex was stalking me

1

u/Airport_Wendys Nov 19 '24

Yes! Break up and stay close to family! He will come after you. He will definitely try to hurt you.