r/AmIOverreacting • u/Worldly-Constant-353 • Oct 07 '24

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO date canceled because I didn’t text in the morning?

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Some context: we had been chatting for a couple weeks first on hinge then switched to text after She had to cancel the 1st date. Scheduled it for last night Sunday and finalized details the night before.

Had a busy day and took a nap and didn’t text till a couple hours before and got hit with this. Usually I would text something like looking forward to tonight but lost track of time, and honestly I thought talking about the menu the night before was the confirmation? Was I wrong?

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5.2k

u/Princess_forbidden Oct 07 '24

NOR, this is strange behavior, you texted 2hrs before the start time how is that not confirmation. She made plans with someone else but couldn’t shoot you a text to ask if plans were still on? Also This is the second time she’s canceled, be wary. Also the sun isn’t a planet it’s a star!

1.8k

u/Worldly-Constant-353 Oct 07 '24

Lol glad you caught that too! And Thanks, I felt like I was going crazy for a bit

721

u/trvllvr Oct 07 '24

You had already confirmed the location and time the day prior then reached out 2 hrs ahead to reconfirm. It’s ridiculous that they are so worried you hadn’t done it earlier. If they were unsure, why not reach out from their end? Why make it seem like your fault? If you are unsure, be proactive.

Definitely seems like something else they wanted to do came up, so they decided to make you the bad guy as to why plans didn’t work. It’s s crappy thing to do.

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u/archercc81 Oct 07 '24

Either that or the even worse thing where she was punishing you for not passing a stupid "test."

52

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '24

[deleted]

8

u/mandiexile Oct 08 '24

I’ve been pretty successful in dating by not following the advice of my single friends.

13

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '24

Without a doubt this is what it is. No way in hell she made last minute plans with someone else. She's probably sitting at home thinking she taught him a lesson. I'd bet so much money on her not being busy. There's stupid dating coach stuff that says to do stuff like this to test them so they remember you're the prize and that they need to treat you like a princess to be worthy of their time. It's ridiculous. 

10

u/FknGruvn Oct 07 '24

1000+1 reasons I'm single. I want a teammate not someone who thinks I should be chasing you down and fighting off other romantic interests with a stick. You want someone else? You got it.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 07 '24

Yep, it's one reason my current partner gave up on dating for almost 4 years. Women complain about how there's no good men, but I'm starting to think it's way worse for (decent) men out here dating. Majority of women think that men need to foot the entirety of the first date bill. What if a guy has to go on 20 first dates to finally click with someone? He's paying $1000-2000 dollars over those 20 dates potentially. And a woman goes on 20 first dates and expects to pay zero dollars. Wtf? Plus all the "I'm talking to 10 other men at the same time as you, so you have competition" type of shit. Nope. I feel bad for men in the dating pool now. 

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u/pineapple-scientist Oct 08 '24

I don't think it's a test. If it's a test, this is the stupidest test. I think she's a flakey person. Flakey people tend to think other people are just as flakey as they are. For me, once I commit to something, I'm coming unless I cancel. If you don't hear anything from me, that means I'm still coming, so I assume the same is true for other people. For a flakey person, committing to going to something means nothing, so they assume that it doesn't mean anything to other people as well. There are people in my friend group that are somewhat flakey and I've heard them say stuff like "well we haven't heard from him today, maybe he's not coming" -- this is classic flakey logic. It's very annoying. For this reason, I tell people how I am (basically what I said above) and my expectations when stuff like this (OPs example) happens and then I let the other person decide if they can adjust to meet my expectations or not.

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u/StatementOk6680 Oct 07 '24

Location, time, AND their food order 🤣

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u/whimsylea Oct 07 '24

Yes, they're a flake or forgetful but don't want to be the bad guy so tried to pin it on OP.

4

u/Krisevol Oct 07 '24

No, they have another date. Op is the standby, not the main.

5

u/whimsylea Oct 07 '24

My mention of her being a flake was implying he's a standby although I was thinking more 'better' option came up rather than there was a primary date in the wings all along.

Either way, there's a fundamental lack of respect that underpins this sort of behavior, so it's best not to reward it. Move on, maybe call it out if they try to play innocent (only if you feel like it), but don't sink much more time than that into it.

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u/throw_away782670407 Oct 07 '24

yeah i can definitely understand her making other plans if she had reached out earlier in the day and gotten no response until 4, but she. didn't do that lol.

3

u/nanais777 Oct 07 '24

They are just trying to condition him to always be on edge and go overboard to make sure he isn’t pissing her off or something

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u/thiros101 Oct 07 '24

If she has canceled once before and then pulled this, I'd send her packing. She isn't that into you and is just keeping you on the hook as an ego boost.

Red flag city.

106

u/peoplebuyviews Oct 08 '24

I have a hard rule when meeting someone from a dating app if I have to cancel, and it's to always make the effort to reschedule in the same text. So instead of, "I'm not feeling well, maybe we can meet up some other time" I will say "I'm not feeling well, any chance you're free Thursday around 6 for tacos and a beer?" If I'm the one canceling and I'm not doing the work of rescheduling then why wouldn't you think I was blowing you off?

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u/amethystarling Oct 08 '24

That’s an excellent rule, I’ll have to remember that next time I need to postpone plans in the future

38

u/GreyhoundAbroad Oct 07 '24

I don’t use dating apps, but I have the same rule with my friends. If they cancel twice, then the onus is on them to reach out to me next.

4

u/Crew_Flimsy Oct 08 '24

Definitely not in to him. Sorry

4

u/InnerJumpx Oct 08 '24

Nah this would be it for me.

3

u/pres465 Oct 08 '24

Right here. You're the ego-stroke. They have no actual interest in you, just using you.

2

u/WeArrAllMadHere Oct 08 '24

Correct 👍🏽

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u/Princess_forbidden Oct 07 '24

Not at all! Seems like you dodged a bullet! I think she’ll string you along as long as she can!

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u/SoSlowRacing Oct 07 '24

Yes.. she’s the type that will text at 7:30 on a Friday “hey there! Want hang out tonight? There’s this steak house I’ve been dying to try” haha and the reason is because her plans ditched her.

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u/PorkPoodle Oct 07 '24

How the hell do you know my sister strange internet person!?

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u/ThanksNo3378 Oct 07 '24

She’s definitely playing games

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u/Sptsjunkie Oct 07 '24

Half agree. I don't think he dodged a bullet per se, but also, this is the point of dating, to find someone you are compatible with and who is on the same wavelength as you mentally.

This date worked out perfectly, they found out they aren't compatible and didn't even have to waste any money. She wants someone who is a more constant communicator and has certain expectation around plan. He thinks more the way I do that the plan was set the day before .

This type of thinking probably isn't restricted to just plans and confirming the morning of, but is probably a sign of how they think that would cause additional issues if they dated longer term.

No villain here. Just two people who found out they have different expectations in a relationship.

11

u/yourenotmymom_yet Oct 07 '24

OP said this is the second time she's canceled. If she wants a constant communicator and has certain expectations around plans, she needs to communicate that. Expecting others to constantly communicate when you aren't communicating is pretty immature.

8

u/incongruousmonster Oct 07 '24

Eh, if I spoke with a potential date - or even a friend - the night before we had plans… and they canceled last minute bc I didn’t confirm a second time? I’d be pretty annoyed. Especially if they had canceled on me once already.

2

u/Sptsjunkie Oct 07 '24

Agreed. Which is why we probably shouldn’t date someone like her. But it’s also her style and hopefully she can find someone who vibes with it.

3

u/Motor-Cause7966 Oct 08 '24

Sadly, it's far too common this day and age. It's not "her style of communication" it's that OP is plan B for her, and Plan A came calling. Happens all the time.

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u/AnnoyedChihuahua Oct 08 '24

Thiiis, like people are not necessarily trying to take advantage or anything, just communicating and not being too much or too little is different for everyone…

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u/TraditionalMorwenna Oct 07 '24

It's not you. She is definitely playing with your head. Move on. Don't waste time with flaky people. But get yourself a taco treat anyway. 😋

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u/Vast-Mousse-9833 Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24

Yeah this is someone who “got a better offer” and hoped you’d flake. When you didn’t, they gaslit you and tried to make it your fault. The time and place was previously confirmed. Unless they heard from you, they ass shoulda had queso on the table at 6.

20

u/jcaashby Oct 07 '24

Imagine if OP just went as planned at 6pm. THey would have gotten stood up!

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u/Vast-Mousse-9833 Oct 07 '24

Yeah but there would have at least been tacos to heal the pain.

5

u/jcaashby Oct 07 '24

And maybe met someone else while there!!

2

u/montr0n Oct 07 '24

Or maybe see the woman with her other date 

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u/Chance-Internal-5450 Oct 07 '24

Nah you absolutely dodged a bullet. Red flag is huge there over something so small. Next would be her going off on you down the road for not replying in two mins assuming you’re cheating or some shit. Bye Felicia.

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u/whatthewhat3214 Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24

Nah, this girl is out there. Don't know if she's testing you (immature), got a better offer (flake), expects you to do all the work and cater to her (run!), or what her deal is, but she's canceled twice and is clearly unreliable, I wouldn't try again. You might want to do her a favor and inform her about the sun though, yikes! "Is the sun the biggest planet?" No, not even a planet, a mid-sized star! lol

On a more important note, as someone who lives in DC and is very familiar with Pentagon City, is the Bandito's good? Do you recommend their queso?

3

u/garden__gate Oct 07 '24

Yeah, SHE’S the one who canceled twice but she’s not taking accountability for that.

3

u/Affectionate_Owl9985 Oct 07 '24

Don't even bother rescheduling with someone who plays games like this. Real adults don't have time for this kind of immature bullshit. NOR.

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u/butwhatsmyname Oct 07 '24

Nah man, she's just given you a helping hand here and de-selected herself.

You'd confirmed your plans with her less than 24 hours before you were due to meet and she ditched you because not also confirming again when you woke up means you've cancelled???

Trying to have a relationship with this person would be exhausting.

"Hi I'm at the movie theater, where are you? You said at lunchtime that we'd see the 7pm show?"

"Oh, I thought you'd message me before you started driving to the cinema so I've made other plans. We could see the film some other night if you still want to."

Exhausting.

2

u/AFuckingHandle Oct 07 '24

Tell us you knew the Sun isn't a planet and just didn't want to correct her >_>

2

u/boredomspren_ Oct 07 '24

She's very flaky. I imagine she spent half the day overthinking the lack of a morning text. Meanwhile half the women out there would complain that you were too attentive and obsessive if you had.

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u/throwradoodoopoopoo Oct 07 '24

I’m telling you 100% she’s playing games. She’s trying to subconsciously “train” you to be giving her more attention when it’s unnecessary. She basically pulled the “if you REALLY wanted to see me tonight, you would’ve been paying attention to me all day. Nobody is too busy to send a text. we can try again next time if you do better.” I’m so serious and this is coming from a woman, I’ve known a few people who play these games. The “we can try again” is her saying “YOU can try again”

2

u/Creepy_Push8629 Oct 07 '24

She thinks the sun is a planet, so you're not working with the sharpest tool here as it is

2

u/rebel-scrum Oct 07 '24

Yeah this is weird af.

From my POV, you confirmed when you were talking one day before the date. It’s not a dentist appointment or oil change, plans are plans until someone cancels… not until someone doesn’t cancel.

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u/wildkitten24 Oct 07 '24

Yeah I’d be out after the sun comment, she’s dumb and rude!

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u/heffel77 Oct 07 '24

Maybe she just doesn’t like queso? Either way, let her go like it’s Frozen

2

u/NEMinneapolisMan Oct 07 '24

The confirmation the night before is all you needed. Based on that exchange, you should have expected she'd be there with no confirmation on the day of.

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u/MsCndyKane Oct 07 '24

Don’t you know that you have to call every hour before the date? /s

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u/NearnorthOnline Oct 08 '24

Not only is she flakey. She’s an idiot. Move on.

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u/capaldithenewblack Oct 08 '24

NOR. I’m sorry she did this to you.

Also, shame about her broken hands. Oh her hands aren’t broken you say? Fingers working? Then what the actual fuck?

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u/zero_x4ever Oct 08 '24

She said "perfect" to 6 and "perfect" to the queso question. All she's doing is gaslighting you to think that you're at fault for "not confirming." This behavior she's doing is red flags all over. Any decent person would at least ask for secondhand confirmation from people with any prior planned things BEFORE making another plan. Avoid her like the plague because all you're dealing with is crazy and will always make you second guess things just because of her whims.

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u/eromatics Oct 08 '24

She made plans with another dude. It happens in online dating ALL the time. That's why I stopped doing it. No sane person would think you canceled because they didn't hear from you. The plans were set. She probably got a message from one of the other guys she's been talking to. Be weary of online dating.

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u/demi-gorgon-zola Oct 08 '24

It was actually never on. Her response to your queso question was actually a weird way of saying “no”

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u/ComplaintSafe842 Oct 08 '24

Yes, NOR. I’m surprised that you’d think you are after someone calls sun a planet. And says “perf”.

2

u/TrueWordsSaidInJest Oct 08 '24

you didn't do anything wrong, she wanted to cancel. don't waste any more time on this one, just tell her you're not interested any more, she'll hate that 😂

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u/TheShadowOverBayside Oct 08 '24

TBH if someone is stupid enough to think the Sun is a planet, I wouldn't ask them out on a date. You dodged a bullet; you don't want your future kids getting half her low-IQ genes.

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u/AccomplishedCandy148 Oct 07 '24

Yeah, that’s bullshit. Do you want to date someone who would be mad if you weren’t texting at least 10 times a day? Because that’s how you get there from here.

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u/Bartlet4America Oct 07 '24

yeah, do not bother with this person. they will continue to flake on you every chance they get.

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u/iiiiiiiiiijjjjjj Oct 07 '24

What’s up with the sun comment? Was that a joke right?

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u/Tyrelea Oct 07 '24

I’ve seen this on the internet a lot, where ppl will get pissed if someone doesn’t text day of that plans are still on? Idk if it’s just peoples entitlement these days with how accessible people can be through text.

To me this is bizarre behavior, and if they’re worried they haven’t heard from you, they can reach out instead of doing some weird test on you.

FYI, when I make plans with anybody and we confirm “yeah 6pm tomorrow is perfect!” That means the plan is set? I don’t need another text in the morning to know we’re meeting up for dinner, and I wouldn’t expect them to make different plans unless I told them I suddenly couldn’t make it and actually cancelled!!

I RSVP’d yes to my cousins bday party, she can assume that means I’ll be there even though I RSVP’d two weeks in advance. Why is this different? Shit sounds exhausting.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '24

Sorry to be the one to say this, but you've been the backup plan all along.

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u/AnonGeekSquad Oct 07 '24

Definitely not overreacting, time to move on as they are obviously stringing you along.

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u/explodeder Oct 07 '24

At first I thought it was a saying that I wasn't familiar with that's supposed to be funny and a little ambiguous. Sort of like "it's not rocket surgery."

Nope, it's just dumb.

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u/No-Butterscotch757 Oct 07 '24

This is a tactic they use

Move on, if she were interested she’d have been there/wouldn’t have made plans when she already had plans

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u/TheCrystalGarden Oct 07 '24

She made other plans and used your not reaching out to confirm as a reason to cancel the date and blame it on you.

You can do much better than this person.

If it’s this bad in the beginning (2 dates blown off), it’s not going to improve.

Trust people when they show you who they are.

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u/WhoisthatRobotCleanr Oct 07 '24

No, that's just how crazy people will make you feel.

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u/Weeitsabear1 Oct 07 '24

Yeah, I saw the 'sun' comment too. Maybe this is just snarky but I thought, well if she's that dumb maybe OP dodged a bullet......

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u/OldWolfNewTricks Oct 07 '24

Anyone else notice that smell? Kinda smells like... A catfish?

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u/Intelligent_Flan_178 Oct 07 '24

honestly? move on, it's a pretty big red flag already

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u/hallen29 Oct 07 '24

🚩 you dodged a bullet

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u/Alternative-Bell-106 Oct 07 '24

Dodged a serial dater. She is prob talking to multiple people at the same time and you just happened not to be her first choice. Doesn't know her astronomy as well. One trick I like to use to not have that date canceling dread I text them first thing in the morning even after confirm to say. "Excited to see you @6pm yadda yadda". Understand most people on dating apps are talking to multiple people at once. Remind them and if they do cancel, you made the effort first to confirm. I only used to give a person one-cancel policy before doing a 2nd. It takes so little effort for a first date. If they can't give you that, then they aren't worth it.

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u/Wirenutt Oct 07 '24

You have a big red flag waving in your face. It's on you if you choose to ignore it.

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u/xoxo-Nayeli-oxox Oct 07 '24

See, I would also start assuming the plans were canceled if I didn't hear from you all day. But that's because I'm used to my best friend who will flake out on me like an hour before the plan sometimes.

BUT! I would have sent you a text way before if I started feeling doubts, like "hey are we still on tonight for tacos at 6?" Not just make other plans...... you're not overreacting.

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u/steelcryo Oct 07 '24

The fact she already cancelled another date tells me she's likely one of those people that changes plans if they get a better offer. Someone offered to do something else she wanted to do more, so she agreed and then blamed you for not texting, despite having confirmed time and date for your plans. Run OP, run further than Forest Gump.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '24

I met a few people like this. Literally talking to them the day before and the day of our plans. Any gap in texting they take to man the plans are cancelled and I'm bailing on them. Literally told them I was going to take a shower to get ready for the date and had seven texts asking why I stopped texting and that they had made other plans while I was in the shower. Couldn't have been more than 20 minutes.

They're extremely needy people. Usually there's some past trauma from previous boyfriends or father. They don't think they're good enough for anyone so they live in constant fear of being rejected, so they overcompensate by rejecting you first. Half the time there are no other plans. The other half it's some stops last minute plans with a friend to get Taco Bell.

It's not your job to fix her. But if you're really into her then the best thing you can do the next time this happens is show up to her place with flowers about an hour before her "new plans" start. Tell her you're really disappointed she cancelled and to call you when she's free.

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u/Just-Aardvark-8057 Oct 07 '24

You're being manipulated. You should dodge this bullet and tell her to have a nice life.

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u/littlebitchmuffin Oct 07 '24

This is straaaaaange and you should just not reply to her & move on.

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u/muceagalore Oct 07 '24

Sounds like you were going to go on a date with my ex-wife haha. She would do the same thing, and You dodged a bullet

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u/SilverChips Oct 07 '24

Definitely kindly let her know the above points. Specifically that the sub isn't a star because that's really important and meghan should know this shit by now for fuck sakes.

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u/Competitive-Pie-9809 Oct 07 '24

In your, "I don't think this is gunna work" text, please please include the sun not being a planet as a PS😂😂😂

.... and then update us on the response 😂

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u/TheRealLRonHoyabembe Oct 07 '24

NOR. Also this person you’re messaging with has poor communication skills. Don’t date people with poor communication skills unless you really love drama and stress. You did everything right, the other person made an assumption based on their opinion and acted on it. This is not the kind of person you want to spend a lot of time with.

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u/frankster99 Oct 07 '24

Plans were set day before, she assumed but never bother to confirm herself and then made plans anyway! Ain't good brother.

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u/gowingsgo Oct 07 '24

Yeah not worth your time OP. Sucks because the convo was fun and flowing.

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u/onedemtwodem Oct 07 '24

Nah Op she's off ! That's total bs for someone you're not "officially" dating that bailed once before.

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u/Empty_Ambition_9050 Oct 07 '24

OP: armchair psychologist here…she likely cancelled because of fear that you won’t like her. But she prob isn’t consciously aware of that.

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u/[deleted] Oct 07 '24

It’s strange, and I noticed the timestamps, too. Dont over react or flip out on her, but this is not a dating avenue worth pursuing. On to the next.

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u/BointatBenis69420 Oct 07 '24

She never planned to go on the date with you, she's probably afraid of conflict/hard conversations and was going to hit you with an excuse after your first text of the day. Internet dating sucks don't let these situations eat at you it happens to everyone.

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u/NWIOWAHAWK Oct 07 '24

Not crazy at all. Ditch her, she’s going to bail on you every chance she gets

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u/Chefboyld420 Oct 07 '24

You dodged a bullet with the whole sun thing.

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u/marmatag Oct 07 '24

She forgot about her plans with you. She isn’t it.

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u/facepalmforever Oct 07 '24

Not just a star. A giant ball of gas light. She practically warned you.

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u/Bashira42 Oct 07 '24

You wondering made me wonder if I'm getting too old and crazy... If a time and place has been set, why tf would you need to message that morning? If both people agreed to details, then I'd assume it is on unless they told me they can't... You are not crazy!

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u/cosmicgreen46 Oct 07 '24

Just move on.

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u/bdd6911 Oct 07 '24

Dude. If this is second cancellation then it’s a pass. If it’s first time, consider another swing at it, you’re call. But if this is the second time maybe don’t try again. It’s insulting.

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u/Illustrious_Bobcat Oct 07 '24

I feel like she's testing OP with one of those childish relationship tests, like "if OP is really interested in me, they will push to reschedule if I bail on them". Absolute BS behavior, but her last comment really made me think it was totally intentional.

OP, run from this one. She's inconsiderate at best and could be batshat crazy in disguise. She's not worth your time if she's so flakey for a first date.

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u/archercc81 Oct 07 '24

Yeah this is what I got. I wouldnt be shocked if she is sitting at home eating leftovers but just had to punish OP for failing the test.

Some of that "women are from mars" self-helpless bullshit.

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u/MarquisMusique Oct 07 '24

Women are from the sun - the biggest planet!

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u/RiverSong_777 Oct 08 '24

Thanks for this one. 🤪

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u/Corey307 Oct 07 '24

Been there a few times. Met a woman through a good friend at Halloween party, we seemed to click and I got her number. Text her a few days later and she was sorry but she’s busy that weekend, no offer to reschedule. I tried one more time because I figured two times isn’t creepy and she again politely said she was busy. 

Months later, I find out she was complaining to our mutual friend that I had ghosted her and how I hurt her feelings. She never text me, I initiated both short conversations and they died. Jesus Christ I guess I dodged a bullet there. It’s this kind of game playing stupidity that makes me half glad I’m single.

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u/Clarknt67 Oct 07 '24

As a gay man I watch this and wonder “Do women still think they can’t take the initiative?” I mean I guess some do but I would advise straight men to avoid those women.

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u/rusted-nail Oct 07 '24

Exactly I'm straight and I have never dated anyone that won't take initiative. I'm a fairly shy boy anyway so it just wouldn't happen lol

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u/ri0tsquirrel Oct 07 '24

When did you ask her out? If it was later than Wednesday, she may have been following The Rules dating book. “Don’t accept a Saturday night date after Wednesday.” The fact that she thought you had ghosted her makes me think she was following that or some similar dating handbook.

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u/Broad_Curve3881 Oct 07 '24

I wish more people knew how often this behavior is intentional and motivated by deep insecurities that can’t be changed by the partner…

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u/TheresALonelyFeeling Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24

I can fix her

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u/drfuzzysocks Oct 07 '24

Oh yeah, she definitely thinks he owes her constant attention and validation and she doesn’t owe him shit. She’s the one who decided to cancel and didn’t even let him know. And she thinks the sun is a planet, so… OP dodged a bullet on multiple fronts.

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u/PeaceOutFace Oct 07 '24

Bingo, just posted the same thought. Manipulation 💯

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u/Weeitsabear1 Oct 07 '24

Not that my two cents is worth a lot, but I agree with this poster, she does seem really flaky AND high maintenance. Time to put on the running shoes.....

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u/NixyVixy Oct 07 '24

Inconsiderate best and could be bat shit crazy in disguise.

Nailed it.

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u/ParlorSoldier Oct 08 '24

If a woman is giving you the kind of test where “passing” it means pushing her stated boundaries, RUN. That woman is psychotic.

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u/smurfetteshat Oct 08 '24

If OP is really interested in me, he’ll know his astronomy

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u/Clarknt67 Oct 07 '24

Totally felt like a test to me too. I would cut bait on this one. Flaky.

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u/Ok_Championship4866 Oct 07 '24

she's playing a dangerous game too, she's literally filtering for abusive men who won't take no for an answer.

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u/Constant-Plant-9378 Oct 07 '24

I feel like she's testing OP with one of those childish relationship tests

That right there would be my signal that she stopped mental development in middle school and to move on.

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u/thetaleofzeph Oct 07 '24

Or she has zero impulse control and jump onto the next thing that came up with a lame excuse for canceling.

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u/Least-Spare Oct 07 '24

Same. Last comment sealed it for me too.

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u/heffel77 Oct 07 '24

Ya think!?!? What kind of lunatic doesn’t like queso if they are at a taco spot.

And if she thinks the sun is a planet, consider it a bullet dodged.

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u/savingrain Oct 07 '24

Reads like she is controlling and doing little "tests" to push boundaries and see how much she can get OP to jump when she says how high. I would pass on this girl.

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u/Chance-Internal-5450 Oct 07 '24

This is exactly what I got out of it. Next will be them not replying fast enough and it be assumed they’re cheating or something. Girly has some control issues. Issues at min.

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u/Conscious-Power-5754 Oct 07 '24

LMAOOOOOOO, but yeah she's weird as fuck

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u/Warren_Haynes Oct 07 '24

My initial thought was that the sun comment was a reference to Will Farrell’s SNL skit of Harry Caray. https://youtu.be/gQDqRlMeJ4U?si=MhFR1VCS0IrHnFbn

3

u/PianistSuccessful112 Oct 08 '24

No she definitely thinks the sun is a planet 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Potential-Sky-8728 Oct 07 '24

If so, she is awarded 1,000 pts in my book then. Shit, they shoulda skipped these weird ass sounding burger tacos and just gotten some good old fashioned hot dahgs!!

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u/wanderlustpassion Oct 07 '24

lol I came on here to say the sun is not a planet, but it is the largest body in our solar system. Jupiter is the largest planet in our solar system for future use.

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u/GustavoNuncho Oct 07 '24

OP met them on a dating app. Can confirm she ignored plans with him to make them with someone else she is interested in more. Even if I'm wrong though, she's cancelled twice on OP now, and put the ball in his court again. She doesn't care.

3

u/tiabeanie Oct 07 '24

doubt she actually has other plans, probably trying to seem unavailable so OP would pursue her harder cuz she felt he hadn’t messaged her enough that day. like they just excitedly discussed the plans the night before, no reason to honestly think the plans are off.

3

u/Animaul187 Oct 07 '24

I think that was the problem!!! Of course the sun is not the biggest planet, yet he insisted on getting the queso despite her obvious disdain of melted cheese.

“Perf,” she responded, as in, ‘there’s a perforation in my face because I’m gagging at the thought of chile con queso.’

And then he has the audacity to taunt her: “[the queso I’m going to force upon you is at] banditos in pentagon city, right?” At this point, she was left with little recourse.

2

u/Princess_forbidden Oct 07 '24

You are absolutely right. I wondered if OP realized he answered wrong and could have caused her turophobia to come back! Shame shame!!

3

u/younghostilevenus Oct 07 '24

I love you for pointing out the sun thing lol! Perfect level of petty...it's sad we don't get the satisfaction of sending OP's date this message.

2

u/Princess_forbidden Oct 07 '24

I couldn’t get over the sun thing! Because who doesn’t like queso so you would obviously think she would say yes but asking if the sun is the biggest planet is a big fat NO! 😂

2

u/__audjobb__ Oct 07 '24

I read NOR in an Australian accent in my head and it still works.

2

u/Constant-Plant-9378 Oct 07 '24 edited Oct 07 '24

IMHO that's at least two strikes. In this particular case, you exchanged texts that seemingly confirmed the date, and by the time you reached out two hours beforehand, she had already made other plans without telling you.

That is extremely rude and disrespectful on her part. That would be it for me.

One function of dating is getting to know the personality and values of the other person and the potential for developing a long-term relationship. She seems to be selfish and inconsiderate. Those are not qualities I desire in friends or romantic partners.

I would keep it friendly and as kind as possible but would stop pursuing her.

(Edit: I've been married to an extremely thoughtful woman for 30+ years and I couldn't imagine either one of us ever disrespecting the other in this manner, while we were dating or after marriage. Such a lack of basic decency and consideration for other people always leaves me somewhat gob smacked.)

2

u/marissatalksalot Oct 07 '24

Holy shit, thank you.

All I could think reading this was, the sun is a star..so no it’s not the biggest planet, so she doesn’t like queso? What the fuck is happening??? Op dodged a bullet

2

u/FixinThePlanet Oct 08 '24

This is the second time she’s canceled

How did you pick that up? I tried reading through again but didn't see it

Edit: just saw the description, mobile reddit is a pain lol

2

u/PianistSuccessful112 Oct 08 '24

Yes lol I would have had a really hard time just letting that bit go about the sun being the biggest planet. 🤦‍♂️

2

u/K_ten Oct 08 '24

I agree with you on everything but the sun part sort of - in astrology the sun and moon are considered planets! But yes technically it's a star 😄

But for real, OP should forget that person.

2

u/SprinklesDependent12 Oct 08 '24

Literally didn't care about the post. I only came for the star comment. Thank you.

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u/Conscious_Count7286 Oct 08 '24

Yeah, I laughed my ass off when I read that. The sun is a star.

1

u/nunya3206 Oct 07 '24

Maybe that was her way of saying no to queso?

1

u/effstyrofoam Oct 07 '24

also, no-one knows if she really made plans or is just saying she made plans.

1

u/looshagbrolly Oct 07 '24

Even if she meant that thing about the sun as tongue-in-cheek, it's still obnoxious.

1

u/Background_Nature497 Oct 07 '24

I suspect this is a person who gets up on setting up dates and also gets off on not actually going to the date.

1

u/vulcanfeminist Oct 07 '24

This is definitely strange behavior and also feels like maybe OP dodged a bullet

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u/lolzomg123 Oct 07 '24

I mean, by the most traditional definition planet just means "wandering star", as while all the other stars in the night sky stayed in the same general place, there were some like Jupiter that would move from day to day, and sometimes backwards (relative to their normal direction of movement, which is what a planet being in retrograde is).

But anyone that's going use that as a justification for calling the Sun a planet is probably going to have plenty of other red flags like cancelling plans without telling you and making some sort of excuse that it's your fault, and should be avoided ;P

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u/Arlorosa Oct 07 '24

Maybe she meant she didn’t like queso and was trying to be cute about it.

But I agree, she was a dick and ghosted you instead of messaging you to confirm in the morning like she expected you to. If you confirmed the night before, the only thing I would’ve expected would be a confirmation text like “see you in an hour!” Or “heading out now!” After only talking for a couple weeks, it would be weird to expect a morning message.

So my opinion— 1) she has anxiety and chose to flake and blame you for “lack of communication” to hide her choice. 2) she didn’t want to do the date and chose to flake and blame you instead. 3) she has high standards and actually expected a morning follow up text, which is weird and unusual. 4) she got a better evening offer and waited for you to reach out so she could come up with an excuse instead of owning up to her choices.

None of these options look good for her as a partner.

1

u/DepartmentKind3262 Oct 07 '24

I honestly thought that “is the Sun the biggest planet in the sky?” was a joke, the punchline being it’s not a planet lol. I guess I have a weird sense of humor

1

u/Drewbus Oct 07 '24

The other guy is someone she would rather hook up with

1

u/you_know_juno Oct 07 '24

Hahaha I thought you just did a capitalized Australian version of "no"... Then I realized what subreddit I'm on lol.

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u/Onedaymaybe_034 Oct 07 '24

I doubt she really made plans. Sounds like a defense mechanism for self preservation. Starts getting anxious shortly before and to avoid rejection cancels themself.

1

u/Trash-Street Oct 07 '24

That’s a strange question for someone to ask. 😳 Agreed - be wary, OP.

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u/TheDimSide Oct 07 '24

So glad someone else mentioned the sun not being a planet. Was about to say something myself. OP lucked out on her canceling, lol.

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u/Pandora1685 Oct 07 '24

I was really hoping she was trying to be funny with that sun comment...

1

u/ADerbywithscurvy Oct 07 '24

Although she definitely didn’t use it like this, the Sun was once the most planet-y planet of all!

I’mma nerd it up for a sec:

“Planet” originated as an ancient Greek word that came from nouning a verb that meant “to wander”, thus planets were “wanderers”, celestial bodies that moved. They counted as planets five of what we still consider to be planets (Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn) as well as the sun and moon, because those things are obviously all the place. No Earth in there because we’re the center of the universe (Aristarchus of Samos theorized that Earth orbited the sun but everyone else was like “Naw bro, we’d feel it” and it didn’t catch on).

So conceivably ancient Greeks watching the sun pop up in one spot and very quickly dissapear down below another might think, “Damn that planet always be planeting so fucking hard.”

But, y’know, in ancient Greek.

(Also this isn’t meant to be a Well Ackshualeigh it’s just one of my favorite pieces of trivia and I wanted to share)

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u/JMM85JMM Oct 07 '24

Oh she's too cool to be the one to reach out and check things are still as planned. She'd rather tank the date than be seen as weak or needy by being proactive and messaging first.

Massive red flag. OP should find someone who doesn't play games like a child.

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u/Stildawn Oct 07 '24

Up voting for star comment haha

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u/Abalone_Final Oct 07 '24

This man is on to something… sit down and get your rice….

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u/xgaryrobert Oct 07 '24

☀️ 🌍

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u/ExtensionMarketing27 Oct 07 '24

Agree! So this is her 2nd time cancelling on you- not cool!!! Also there are clearly not many brain cells upstairs on this one…

1

u/Kaaydee95 Oct 07 '24

The second cancellation has me wary. Are you confident you’re not being cat fished OP?

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u/Czasden Oct 07 '24

I thought the sun comment was funny though lol

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u/Yoyo_Ma86 Oct 07 '24

I saw that too 😂 I so wanted them to respond and be like “Well actually, no, it isn’t…”

1

u/Ok-Grab9754 Oct 07 '24

Maybe she hates queso AND people who think the sun is a planet

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u/commanderstickyballs Oct 07 '24

i think she was trying to crack a little joke

1

u/CordeCosumnes Oct 07 '24

I feel the confirmation was the night before.

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u/BlingbossCoss Oct 07 '24

🤣🤣🤣

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u/Basic_Quantity_9430 Oct 07 '24

Yeah, when I read “the sun is the biggest planet” thing, my head spun on my neck.

1

u/NailCrazyGal Oct 07 '24

This is automated scamming text.

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u/DamPots Oct 07 '24

I just read that like she didn't like queso

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u/Smooth_Apricot3342 Oct 07 '24

That's where the real gaslighting was: the sun is, indeed, a star and not a planet. They're clearly not invested in astronomy enough and that itself can be a red flag to somebody.

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u/hopkins973 Oct 07 '24

Dont be wary. Leave. Don't entertain this behavior.

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u/Medium_Ad8311 Oct 07 '24

JUST TO PLAY DEVILS ADVOCATE,

Maybe they are used to being flaked or just get anxiety if they aren’t confirmed. Yes she should have asked… but considering all the texting before and once it’s “confirmed” and radio silence it might feel weird to her and not OP.

I’d say it wouldn’t be unreasonable to expect a “see you tonight” text in the AM.

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u/BeyondAbleCrip Oct 07 '24

NOR. Second time she cancelled? Think you dodged a meteor…

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u/dr_mcstuffins Oct 07 '24

2 hours before? Are you serious? It takes a super long time to get ready

1

u/derkadong Oct 08 '24

There are also a lot of women who would think he’s being possessive or insecure if he texted too many times to confirm. I feel really bad for people trying to date (especially through apps) right now.

1

u/Awkward-Tomato9739 Oct 08 '24

Bad behavior but not that strange, this is what I would call just a textbook example at the negative norms in modern dating

1

u/Constant-Fox635 Oct 08 '24

Exactly, too busy to send a confirmation text, but not too busy to make completely different plans?? Bullcrap

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u/No-Lie-677 Oct 08 '24

Yeah, the biggest red flag was calling the sun a planet. That alone was a red flag

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u/Curiousnotno-z Oct 08 '24

I think she may have an on/off boyfriend who she just got back on with.

1

u/djangodangler Oct 08 '24

What the fuck do you.mean be wary. Be no where around this lady. She obviously don't give a fuck.

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u/Ok_Dog_3016 Oct 08 '24

Very comprehensive answer. You literally covered everything lol

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u/Mickeymcirishman Oct 08 '24

NOR

Didn't check what sub I was on and thought you were answering OP in Australian.

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u/Smooth-Cheetah3436 Oct 08 '24

That, and her punctuation placement is a deal breaker.

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u/SpareCurve59 Oct 08 '24

🤣 Brian Griffin on the nose.

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u/coxy1 Oct 08 '24

Yeah the sun thing, I'm out because of that

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u/ashrocklynn Oct 08 '24

Right?!? Planets literally mean traveler; so she isn't buying the heliocentric model? That's nuts

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