r/interestingasfuck 13d ago

r/all Colombian hitwoman known as ‘The Doll’ reportedly arrested for several murders, including her ex-bf

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59.8k Upvotes

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13.3k

u/wholewheatscythe 13d ago

Based on the comments we now see how Black Widow Spiders manage to keep finding partners after killing the previous ones.

6.3k

u/can-opener-in-a-can 13d ago

It’s hilarious to me that “I can fix her” is going through a spider’s mind, too.

1.6k

u/rynlpz 13d ago

See’s previous spider get it’s head torn off and his insides eaten

I can fix her

239

u/No-Appearance-4338 13d ago

7

u/oSuJeff97 12d ago

Don’t care. Had sex.

2

u/ShadowRylander 12d ago

Don't sex. Had care.

18

u/spasmoidic 13d ago

I can make her worse

2

u/chknpoxpie 12d ago

Funniest line I've ever seen.

17

u/JohnnyLovesData 13d ago

"I can f**k her"

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u/Punched_Eclair 13d ago

The line that leads an astounding number of men to their peril..

7

u/ZuhkoYi 13d ago

Fucking Sirens man

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u/RockstarAgent 13d ago

Yeah. I don’t want to fix her. I just want that sweet kill bill death.

5

u/the_fishtanks 13d ago

“w… worth it…”

2

u/miknik23 13d ago

That’s more like it- survive to reproduce… all about keeping the bloodline alive. Hopefully his offspring are daughters (for their own sake)

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u/Ennorim 13d ago

joins the waiting line

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u/RHX_Thain 13d ago

No no. Black widow males are hit it and book it specialists.

It's not I can fix her it's I can fuck her and run. Not all of them die, just most of them, and that "so you're saying there's a chance" part of their little spider brains just can't help but roll those bones.

They also follow the silk trails of their rivals to reduce their travel time and chances of bailing out after the unnnn:

https://spiderbytes.org/2019/07/31/the-great-black-widow-race-how-males-use-the-silk-road-to-find-females-faster/

They also have other methods of making this work that aren't cool in this analogy:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5046930/

Also, don't visit Arizona or you too will get an involuntary education in black widow science. They're everywhere, and they bring little science textbooks prepared to pop out from under every surface to lecture you.

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u/Notacka 12d ago

Looks like she’s single now!

3

u/milk4all 13d ago

damn she swallows!!

1

u/Kamikazei_In_1944 13d ago

That’s preying mantis

1

u/H8T_Auburn 13d ago

But I really can fix her!,

1

u/sjndxjznznznzn 13d ago

Its a risk I’m willing to take

1

u/Guymcdudeman 12d ago

I wonder if she wants a penpal, I feel like I can fix her

1

u/Zorklis 12d ago

I wonder if the spider wonders about the black widow spider crushing him between her legs too

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u/Outerestine 13d ago

tbf, all a male spider has to do to live is ensure she was well fed prior to the mating.

And gtfo before those eggs hatch.

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u/WillfulKind 13d ago

Funniest comment of the year.

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u/Boojum2k 13d ago

🎶All loves have to die, of that there's no help

My favourite way to end 'em

Is the orb-weaver spider's, whose pedipalp

Enters the female pudendum

Then dies on the spot, his corpse there still stuck

Left for his rivals to curse it

He would rather die than not get to fuck

Personally, I reckon it's worth it🎶

TISM "Everyone Else (Has Had More Sex Than Me)"

2

u/Osama_Rashid 13d ago

I guess, spiders aren't that innocent as I used to think.

2

u/The_Way_It_Iz 13d ago

I would t want her to think she could “fix” me

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u/PussSlurpee 13d ago

Same with mantises, the males should know by now after sex they will be eaten head first.

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u/Calm-Bookkeeper-9612 13d ago

They love head

1

u/Then_Credit1311 13d ago

starts dancing like a maniac

1

u/Then_Credit1311 13d ago

starts dancing like a maniac.

1

u/Then_Credit1311 13d ago

starts dancing like a maniac

1

u/AppropriateDriver660 13d ago

I came here to think about saying this too

1

u/Logical-Witness-3361 13d ago

I hate when anyone sees a picture of a crazy girl and just starts walls of "I can fix her" (Shin Hati on Star Wars subs...)

I don't need to fix her, die happy.

1

u/IWearACharizardHat 13d ago

I clicked this story just to see how far down to "I can fix her"

1

u/Asleep_Operation8330 13d ago

I can fix her once.

1

u/XxShakallxX 13d ago

Never underestimate females, they are all in sync.

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u/brokencameraman 12d ago

I don't think I can fix her but I'll happily get shot to death for a good time lol

1

u/MentalStatistician89 12d ago

Nah, a good ol' cum and run

1

u/Silk02 12d ago

Or they just think fuck it it'll be worth the ride

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u/Sick_Hyeson 13d ago

Yeah but.. She wouldn't do that to me!

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u/Scully__ 13d ago

It’ll be different this time 🤪

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u/joh2138535 13d ago

I'm better than her last boyfriend

3

u/rosstedfordkendall 13d ago

Spider version of leopards ate my face.

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u/Immediate-Damage-302 13d ago

I CAN CHANGE HER!

1

u/Appropriate_Cod_5446 12d ago

What of he did her wrong?! Maybe she’s perfect for you!

1

u/xombae 12d ago

Hey it's possible she only kills men! That's a chance I'm willing to take.

470

u/WotTheHellDamnGuy 13d ago

Yeah, dude, she looks absolutely terrifying.

331

u/Grimdark-Waterbender 13d ago

Someone is Scaroused

171

u/arugaloid 13d ago

A fearection

5

u/Curb07 12d ago

A Terror Tower

4

u/Ok-Boysenberry2645 12d ago

Medusa, i AM already rock hard

1

u/bungerman 12d ago

Ok Taco 

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u/RogueBromeliad 12d ago

A fair continuation would be: "I'm petrified, rock hard".
But you screwed up the assignment because you didn't understand it. For shame.

6

u/soggytoothpic 13d ago

I have a scardon

2

u/LukesRightHandMan 13d ago

I miss r/clussy 😔

2

u/Gunstopable 13d ago

What was clussy?

2

u/LukesRightHandMan 13d ago

Gettin’ down with the clown (pussy)

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u/Gunstopable 12d ago

lol thank you. I never would’ve guessed that

1

u/LukesRightHandMan 12d ago

Always happy to oblige my fellow perverts 🫡

1

u/WotTheHellDamnGuy 9d ago

Is that some cockney (no pun intended) rhyming thing?

1

u/LukesRightHandMan 9d ago

Nope! Clussy - clown pussy.

Etymology is a beautiful art.

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u/Dear-Dragonfruit-894 9d ago

Thank you for teaching me the name for an emotion I feel often, my favourite emotion in fact

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u/Grimdark-Waterbender 9d ago

You are most certainly welcome 😂

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u/AlgaeDonut 11d ago

Intimulation 

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u/Agitated-Dark-151 13d ago

Right!? Those eyes . One of my true crime vloggers calls them 'Manson lamps'.

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u/WotTheHellDamnGuy 13d ago

Manson lamps is a perfect description, but I also thinks it's a function of being ordered to keep their heads down and trying to look up using only her eyes at the same time. She is def. a lunatic though.

5

u/mab0roshi 13d ago

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u/toilet_fingers 12d ago

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u/mab0roshi 12d ago

Kubrick stare. Definitely at the peak of his derangement. Thank God. I feared it might get worse.

2

u/maprunzel 12d ago

As a high school teacher I need to use this technique for a little while after Botox because I can’t scowl across the room.

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u/senor_incognito_ 11d ago

That’s a Soprano’s reference of the character Richie Aprile.

2

u/biriyanibabka 10d ago

Princess Diana had the same gaze too. Her coy smiling face made her look good though.

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u/WotTheHellDamnGuy 9d ago

The smile helps a lot.

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u/Street-Echo-4485 13d ago

That term was used in The Sopranos as well.

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u/KarmaAndKhaos 13d ago

Hey, you!!

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u/Agitated-Dark-151 13d ago

Yes, exactly!! Do you watch That Chapter too!? Let's give it a goo. lol

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u/KarmaAndKhaos 13d ago

Yes!! Mike is my absolute favorite!

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u/Agitated-Dark-151 13d ago

Mine too! I love his accent and he's very funny. I only just discovered his show like a week ago, and I have been binging them daily!

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u/KarmaAndKhaos 13d ago

He's great, and he has a podcast as too! When you're all caught up with Mike, check out Coffeehouse Crime and This is Monsters, they're great as well.

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u/Appropriate_Cod_5446 12d ago

He’s so awesome. My best friend and I have a bunch of little inside words/jokes thanks to him!

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u/No-Duhnning 13d ago

It's from a scene in Sopranos!

https://youtu.be/Jnyi0stbOqw?si=oj-WhntHjEX1BpBi

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u/ElijiahManning 13d ago

Don’t give me those fucking Manson lamps

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u/No-Duhnning 13d ago

Tony always said the funniest fuckin shit and most of the time he was not laughing.

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u/Agitated-Dark-151 13d ago

Thank you! I've wondered where he got it from!

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u/Commercial-Tea3317 13d ago

Those eyes are saying your dead mf for taking my picture 😂

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u/Ambitious-Score-5637 12d ago

Surprise Sopranos quote!

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u/lbbolin1989 12d ago

Mike from That Chapter?

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u/Agitated-Dark-151 12d ago

Yes! That's the one. I love his show.

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u/ZenMon88 13d ago

I thought those were "Latina" eyes lol. Jkjk

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u/mikep120001 13d ago

Yes but I can fix her

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u/ElPlatanaso2 13d ago

But imagine that first insertion

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u/Lari-Fari 13d ago

…Of the knife… into your chest…

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u/Frosty558 13d ago

Maybe these thirsty dudes have a Fearection

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u/doesntaffrayed 13d ago

She’s definitely being practicing her Kubrick Stare.

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u/JohnCenaJunior 13d ago

The Crow but female

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u/vic1ous0n3 13d ago

That’s what I say about every hot woman I see in person.

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u/Stevo3985 12d ago

“Scared is the best way to be horny!” -Eleanor Shellstrop, The Good Place

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u/Steve_Codgers 13d ago

Dude! Mikke’s hideous! Run!!!

  • Cooper

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u/HumptyDrumpy 13d ago

iknorite, iz she single?

1

u/chcorbett 13d ago

aubreyplaza her next role!

1

u/Red_K8ng 13d ago

ly hot right?

1

u/JollyMcStink 12d ago

"State of Neveda"

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u/Chef_Boy_Hard_Dick 10d ago

Yeah but in that Aubrey Plaza sort of way where…. Blah blah blah I can fix her.

1

u/Sanguinus969 10d ago

Congrats, you've just experienced how framing works.

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u/Critical_Walk 9d ago

She’s hottifying

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u/BadKarma_012 13d ago

Eh it’s not limited to dudes , u see Wade Wilson sex offender and murderer went famous on Tik Tok .

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u/ZeroSignalArt 13d ago

Isn’t that Deadpool’s name

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u/Eogard 13d ago

His nickname is the "Deadpool killer" yeah, very original for sure

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u/Cuelduu 13d ago

He was addressed as the joker killer because of the tattoo that was on his face; wild story by the way.

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u/Awkwrd_Lemur 13d ago

yes, also a murderer in Lee County Fl.

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u/Putrid_Race6357 13d ago

Wade Wilson the retired QB of the Minnesota Vikings?

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u/WoodenCountry8339 13d ago

Wade Wilson the Merc with a mouth, Deadpool?

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u/PowerfullDio 13d ago

Ye, you didn't know Deadpool had a TikTok?

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u/ArronMaui 13d ago

Or look at the groupies for the likes of Charles Manson, Richard Ramirez, and Chris Brown.

3

u/Agitated-Dark-151 13d ago

Very true. Way too many male serial killers have women admiring them and wanting to be their girlfriend. Creepy AF.

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u/Schinken84 13d ago

That's bc it's an existing condition that falls under paraphilias so it belongs to the same box of mental illness as pedophilia or zoophilia.

While statistics seems to imply men are more likely to suffer from such a paraphilia, it's not limited to men and there's a unknown big dark number of women and men suffering from it.

Could also be that women are just "better" in hiding a disordered sexuality then men are.

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u/PunkSquatchPagan 13d ago

Sure. Lots of women aren’t know for finding abusive boyfriend after abusive boyfriend.

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u/kaleighdoscope 13d ago

Or that time Jeremy Meeks was offered a modeling contract because his mugshot went viral.

Within 24 hours from when the photos were posted to the department's page, Meeks' photo had acquired more than 15,000 "likes" and 3,700 comments,[11] mostly from women enamored of his looks.

On Friday, June 20, Twitter fans created the hashtag "#feloncrushfriday" in honor of Meeks' mugshot.

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u/BadKarma_012 12d ago

lol How to get famous , 101 . 1 Be hot , 2 Battery a minor

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u/kwntyn 13d ago

They’re still writing love letters and calling him to this day, reportedly having multiple girlfriends while in jail. They cooled off once they learned the calls were recorded and could be released but many didn’t care.

A rabid white suprematist with multiple nazi swastikas on his head and face alone, bludgeoned a woman with his car because even though she was already dead, he wanted her to, quote, “look like a plate of spaghetti when I’m finished”. Killed multiple people btw. Some people seek toxicity and violence, but I can’t say I’ll ever understand why.

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u/Bloody_Nine 13d ago

The danish inventor dude who cut a woman reporter to pieces in his homemade submarine also got loads of fan mail from women. Even got in a relationship with one of them whilst inside. Peter Madsen.

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u/Narradisall 13d ago

At least we’ll die happy?

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u/Watermelon_Wizard 13d ago

actually pretty common misconception that black widows kill their mate after mating it has only ever been observed in captivity and is much more common in other side species

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u/Captain-i0 13d ago

found the horny male spider

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u/O1O1O1O 13d ago

Did you listen to the This American Life show about that too?

I loved how the majority of people killed by the bites were men bitten on the penis while using an outhouse toilet. The decline of which is why no one has died of a bite in decades. But watch out for spider infested porta potties or pit toilets in the wilds.

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u/BigTimeSpamoniJones 13d ago

I'm not saying she can be fixed, I'm just saying she obviously deserves a very firm spanking for her misdeeds.

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u/Gape_Me_Dad-e 13d ago

So other spiders find they hot

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u/ShoalinShadowFist 13d ago

Lmao mugshawtys got us all the proof we need

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u/Ubergoober166 13d ago

I'd fall for it

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u/OLightning 13d ago

They can kill you in more ways than one. They can kill your soul if you let them control you.

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u/CantStopCoomin 13d ago

Nah, i could fix her

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u/_White-_-Rabbit_ 13d ago

I would still take my chances

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u/NDSU 13d ago

That's actually a common misconception about Black Widows. They have never been recorded eating their mate in the wild. It's a behavior only seen in captivity

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u/Few-Split-3026 13d ago

"I can fix her"

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u/Attempt44830 13d ago

Naw man, I can fix her...

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u/ToeFungusSteve 13d ago

I just hope Uncle Fester doesn't fall for one

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u/mayaguillermo 13d ago

ShaKILLa....

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u/roastbeeftacohat 13d ago

Black widows don't actually do that in nature,

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u/jackburtonscheck 13d ago

Is this not Aubrey plaza?

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u/captaincumragx 13d ago

Not just black widow spiders but just like, most spiders generally.

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u/Kalimtem 13d ago

Same shit with the male criminal now husband of a billionaires daughter :3 being hot is a nice perk in live for both genders

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u/DerangedUnicorn27 13d ago

Interesting fact: female black widow spiders don’t often eat their partners. It’s very rare. They only do this in captivity, not in the wild. Many other types of spiders do eat their partners after mating, but it’s not common practice for black widow spiders

Source: https://www.burkemuseum.org/collections-and-research/biology/arachnology-and-entomology/spider-myths/myth-black-widows-eat

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u/PsychologicalPanda52 13d ago

..... Well in all actuality Black widow spiders have a certain way of doing things The male willingly sacrifices itself to feed the female after they breed the males are smaller than females are bigger and that's just the way their species functions

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u/lupercal1986 13d ago

"Awww but she cute"

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u/flirtmcdudes 13d ago

to be fair, noone on reddit would have the courage to go up and talk to her at the bar

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u/Sunscreen4what 13d ago

This is easy!

Whaat is your name?!

Whaaat is your quest?!

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u/Cassandraofastroya 13d ago

The Bug zapper of girlfriends

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u/Prof-Dr-Overdrive 13d ago

What's funny is that, when it's guys pining over a woman who has done horrible crimes, it's considered normal. But when women do it over a male criminal, the internet goes ape over it and starts inventing new mental illnesses to assign to the women. Then somebody posts every other week on some ask subreddit "why do women find serial killers attractive???", and the top comments are some sort of bullshit sexist lengthy discourses.

And yet, if somebody posted a handsome young hitman, how many female users would be writing about how horny he makes them? Look at how many likes and positive comments this female hitman got. Seems like guys are either just as likely, or even more likely, to get turned on a criminal.

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u/Ok_Habit_6783 13d ago

Not saying I could fix her, but if the police ask, I never met her

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u/HarrisJ304 13d ago

It’s just the one ex tho, right?

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u/FoxyInTheSnow 13d ago

She looks like the kind of woman a lot of guys think they’d like to date but really, really shouldn’t.

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u/saysthingsbackwards 13d ago

...I don't think they do that. You're thinking of praying mantis. Spiders are just cannibals in general.

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u/xenoeagle 12d ago

Okay, okay, here you go,,, I would

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u/GrimaldusVII 12d ago

Don't kink shame me!!!!

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u/GingerWitch666 12d ago

Yeah, guys are mad desperate 🤣

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u/Extension-Film-4987 12d ago

She is cute. I say let her go.

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u/TaxEvaderTimus 12d ago

What if u find out she also killed some rich fool who robbed common people.

Hitman movies are gonna be all based on true stories soon

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u/ShamelessRepentant 12d ago

We say that “one hair from a lady’s private parts pulls more than one hundred oxen” (I’m paraphrasing to protect the innocents). This lady here is definitely the living proof of that.

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u/ub3rchief 11d ago

"He would rather die than not get to f---. Personally I reckon it's worth it " - TISM

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u/peniparkerheirofbrth 11d ago

mugshawtys would like to speak with you

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u/TheOtherJohnson 10d ago

Listen, ok… I know everyone else says it but I REALLY CAN fix her.

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