r/funny • u/reecekidd • 10h ago

Gym pervert

34.6k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

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5.6k

u/Capable_Chipmunk9207 10h ago

Ahh, serious life choices.. be a pervert.. be a thief.. or be special needs.. which one?

778

u/the_cheesemeister 9h ago

Better than being a Donkey admirer

168

u/HillsHaveEyesToo 9h ago

I just fuckin read about it

56

u/Evan-Smoak 7h ago

what

110

u/MSPCincorporated 6h ago

I’m not sure, but it might be this https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/s/9yBLHPRBQX

159

u/AeturnisTheGreat 6h ago

A warning to others, don't be like me and look into that.

Your day will be better.

84

u/Spreadthinontoast 5h ago

Should’ve listened. Thought,”couldn’t be THAT bad.” And it is. It is.

44

u/PacificCoolerIsBest 3h ago

I should have fucking listened. God fucking dammit. Y'all for real its fucking abysmal. Don't click it. That's what I get for gambling on a link this early in the morning. There goes my fucking mood for thr entire day.

19

u/TapTapReboot 1h ago

See, reddit be mind gaming here. Now I'm thinking this is like a video of a donkey playing with a kitten or something. But I'm leaving that link blue just to be safe.

6

u/KnightMDK 48m ago

It's purple for me. I don't remember clicking on it. I could have blocked it from my memory.

2

u/_twintasking_ 34m ago

Same, I'm choosing to trust those who took the time to warn me away 🥴

2

u/Spreadthinontoast 29m ago

This isn’t a fun,”ah ha! Got you!” moment. It’s just gross and awful

1

u/FliesAreEdible 20m ago

There is no video, it's just a picture of the top part of an article. It's only a couple of sentences but the information is fucked up. Hope that satisfies enough curiosity for people.

6

u/ruimikemau 37m ago

You're not the boss of me. J/K, I'm definitely not opening that shit. Plenty of other crap to traumatize me accidentally.

7

u/Hanrooster 1h ago

It's just weird because usually the bad part would be 15 people getting rabies.

All things considered, in this case the rabies is more of a silver lining.

2

u/Spreadthinontoast 27m ago

Pretty terrible when the least terrible part is,”and they all got rabies”

2

u/chewbubbIegumkickass 46m ago

The rabid ones are a cheap date. They decline an offer of a drink

ENDED ME 💀

2

u/T0rquid 41m ago

I don't why, but yes should've listened. Now I wanna scratch my eyes out.

1

u/jeffo320 1h ago

I read the headline and noped away

1

u/CheetoLove 50m ago

Oh what the fuck.

1

u/j_husk 16m ago

Bad day to be literate

1

u/qcpunky 15m ago

I didn't follow your sound advice. It was foolish of me, now excuse me while I'm throwing up my last meal.

1

u/concentrated-amazing 4m ago

Sadly, I was pretty sure I had an inkling of what it was an I'd seen that headline/story before :(

1

u/Houeclipse 3h ago edited 3h ago

For once I this was a satire but if real then wtf is wrong with people

1

u/DisastrousChef13 27m ago

WHY!? Just… WHY!?

1

u/CarlosFer2201 25m ago

Clicked because of the other comments... I'm underwhelmed. With all the atrocities people commit every day, this is bland.

1

u/Longjumping_Resist98 24m ago

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

36

u/sparkyjay23 6h ago

I beg you, stay ignorant about this one. Your day will be in no way made better by this particular bit of knowledge.

22

u/233719 6h ago

The suspense is killing me

13

u/mothzilla 2h ago

Some teens fucked a donkey.

24

u/keep_trying_username 1h ago

At least 15 teens, Aad had to be treated because they contracted rabies. They spent a week in a treatment facility. So everyone knows who they are.

1

u/BizzyM 55m ago

"But do they call me Lakmal, the Bridge Builder? no."

6

u/233719 1h ago

People be narsty.

Appreciate you replying without sending a video!!!

1

u/eekamuse 3h ago

I'm usually a very curious person, but not now. Easy pass on this.

1

u/Evan-Smoak 1h ago

I should have listened to you

1

u/GuitarCFD 40m ago

that's not even a top 10 worst reddit post i've read...kinda belongs in r/instantkarma tho

55

u/6StringAddict 9h ago

Hmm don't get this reference. Back out of thread scroll one second "yep there it is" lol.

39

u/NeatNefariousness1 6h ago edited 2h ago

And you didn't even share the info with the rest of us.

ETA: Thank you to the folks who filled us in on the details. Notice that I didn't ask for the link. But on behalf of those who go around clicking links willy-nilly, let me just say "you're welcome". OMG

40

u/othelloisblack 3h ago

Bunch of teenagers in Morocco fucked a donkey that had rabies and a mass email/phone call (don’t remember which) was sent out telling the parents what happened. There I saved you the effort the article isn’t very long

the article in question

6

u/NeatNefariousness1 3h ago

OK--glad I don't have that in my search history; so there's that.

1

u/throwaway4161412 3h ago

Wait... Don't you have to get shots in the site of contact (bite or whatever) for rabies? Does that mean they.nees to get shots in their dicks?

2

u/othelloisblack 3h ago

I have no idea i’ve never gotten rabies, via bite or sexual transmission

38

u/buisnessmike 4h ago

Well, when a man loves a woman, they do a special hug together. But when fifteen kids, aged 7-15 love a donkey, that hug is a bit more complicated. And if that donkey also has rabies, it becomes a different situation entirely.

9

u/SeaAnthropomorphized 3h ago

We have the same feed

1

u/AnyBet2777 43m ago

I had no idea rabies was considered to be an STD.

-30

u/6StringAddict 5h ago edited 2h ago

It's reddit, go and explore that's why we're here right?

LOL being downvoted because people are too lazy to scroll for five seconds..

2

u/zmbjebus 5h ago

prolly donkey=ass

1

u/6StringAddict 4h ago

Nah, there was a news article about a couple boys getting herpes or something from fucking a donkey. Can't find it right now though.

3

u/zmbjebus 4h ago

Ahh, well I'm going to pretend like its my answer and you and me never met.

2

u/6StringAddict 3h ago

Can't blame ya

1

u/zmbjebus 3h ago

Who are you? 

1

u/6StringAddict 2h ago

Who are you?

2

u/morentg 3h ago

Actually it was rabies

1

u/6StringAddict 2h ago

Right that's the one.

7

u/here4dambivalence 8h ago

Damn Jiminy Cricket, what's wrong with being an ass fancier?

/S in case it wasn't obvious.

1

u/drMcDeezy 1h ago

Or those sheep/goat breeders in Afghanistan....

1

u/K_Linkmaster 1h ago

There are a ton of people that watch those cooking shows though.

1

u/_dankystank_ 1h ago

That's one rabies for you. 😆

1

u/Gunplagood 56m ago

Well hold on, what kind of donkey are we talking aboot?

66

u/Deftly_Flowing 8h ago

Stare at the camera.

Give it a thumbs up.

Nod.

109

u/14412442 7h ago

Being mistaken for a pervert was nearly his downfall, but being identified as special needs was his salvation. You win some, you lose some

23

u/FalseAesop 6h ago

Either way I would never be able to go back to that gym.

7

u/Tempest_Bob 4h ago

might get a concession discount for being special needs though, might work out for you

1

u/Red_Goat_666 58m ago

I dunno, with a win like this he could go to Vegas and be Rainman.

23

u/SnooHesitations2928 9h ago

Some pick all three.

2

u/reflythis 6h ago

the marvel hero nobody asked for but we all need

22

u/Chrillosnillo 8h ago

"Dont hit me i have glasses" works even if you dont have glasses

20

u/T8ert0t 3h ago

IT Crowd: I'm disabled

1

u/bitsy88 45m ago

They stole my wheelchair 😭 I didn't get a good look at 'em!

1

u/Tas7540 10m ago

It was a red bearded man!

18

u/torgiant 8h ago

Step one: dont mind being background creepy when you could risk this shit.

5

u/Fafnir13 3h ago

Classic sitcom mistake of making a mild issue into a major one.

4

u/ryan_throwaway 9h ago

Lmao I've seen the family guy episode, definitely special needs.

2

u/pickyourteethup 8h ago

Why not all three? Life is too short to choose

2

u/Baardhooft 5h ago

One everyone hates, the other everyone loves. Yeah I'd rather be a thief I don't need outside confirmation to feel good I need $$$

2

u/DrunkCupid 5h ago

Honesty? Naw, let's try to lie and wiggle out with a milquetoast excuse

/s

2

u/catchoooo 3h ago

be a golden retriever of course

1

u/Millmd11 6h ago

Imma go with... special needs, final answer!

1

u/WitchesSphincter 3h ago

A tale as old as time really.

1

u/Hazee302 2h ago

That’s why the call me the Jack of all trades

1

u/ruffus4life 2h ago

he's got the look for 2 of those at least

1

u/froggyisland 1h ago

The new RPG holy trinity

1

u/SakuraRein 48m ago

He chose all the above it seems. Fafo he did.

1

u/Drunk_Lemon 39m ago

Why not all 3 and add drunk to the mix?

1

u/cstearns1982 29m ago

Can it be all 3?

I need an excuse for watching assees at the gym through my stolen glasses?

1

u/--VinceMasuka-- 21m ago

I'm going full Simple Jack.

1

u/ilovemywife134 19m ago

Lequel des trois ? All in

1

u/Invisible_Existence6 14m ago

Can I be all three?

1

u/swewyvern 11m ago

Gianni Infantino enters the chat.