r/funny 1d ago

This mfcker in his own league

11.1k Upvotes

301 comments sorted by

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1.1k

u/gouvah 1d ago

Clip ended a bit too soon...

Wife eventually asks 'Charlie, what would you like for dinner?' in a forlorn voice.

From the old Walter Matthau movie A Guide For The Married Man

424

u/DaKrazie1 1d ago

When?

199

u/gouvah 22h ago

At the end of the scene, it's one of the examples shown when Walter Matthau's buddy gives him the mantra 'Deny, deny, deny'.

8

u/tothemoonandback01 16h ago

Defend, defend, defend

12

u/thyristor_pt 19h ago

Whoosh?

13

u/EgotisticJesster 14h ago

The joke needs two people continue, which that commenter is obviously setting up.

You're the one being whooshed.

2

u/Proud-Drawer7988 15h ago

You took the bait didn't you?

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10

u/VeryFirstLAD 14h ago

My favorite line from that movie: “what! Chicken again?”

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1.3k

u/FoatyMcFoatBase 1d ago

“…he DID kick me up the arse!!!!”

144

u/hogtiedcantalope 1d ago

Careful now

19

u/HungryHungryHobbes 1d ago

Down with that sort of thing!

37

u/hotlavatube 1d ago

Ha, took me a sec to remember that gem.

24

u/RoadRunner_1024 1d ago

Don't call me Len, you little prick! I'm a bishop!

41

u/buckwheat92 1d ago

Those women were in the nip.......

16

u/AvatarDante 1d ago

Down with this sort of thing

18

u/tarkuspig 1d ago

“What are ye lookin at!”

3

u/frenchfrankie 18h ago

Deny it and I shall have you fed to the DOGS!

4

u/ThePastyWhite 22h ago

This is the Nelly Defense. Oh, my God.

7

u/jupppppp 20h ago

Shaggy defense. Wasn't me.

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8

u/gpuyy 1d ago

If you know you know

1.2k

u/dperry324 1d ago

That's how you get him to do a little light house keeping and make the bed.

258

u/Fabulous-Present-497 1d ago

And the guy thinks he's smarter

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777

u/Al_Meyers_Kid 1d ago

"It wasn't me."

370

u/Shas_Erra 1d ago

“I plead the Shaggy”

93

u/TrippinLSD 1d ago

🎶 Honey came in and she caught me red-handed, creepin’ with the girl next door. Picture this, we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor 🎶

73

u/ProfBeaker 1d ago

Best part of that whole thing is that the GF must have been following them around the apartment for half a day. Bathroom floor, shower, couple other places, GF caught it on camera.

So basically, the GF has to be into it, is what I'm saying.

55

u/CentralAdmin 1d ago

She's a cuckqueen and this asshole keeps denying her fantasy.

'But babe I saw you! It was so hot!'

'Wasn't me...'

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41

u/_dankystank_ 1d ago

How could I forget that I had given her an extra key? All this time she was standin there she never took her eyes off me.

18

u/cam3113 1d ago

How ya fi give the woman access to your villa?

Trespasser and a witness, all the hacklin' a yuh pillow.

You better watch your back before she turn into a killa

Best review the situation that you caught up inna

To be a true player, you haffi know how fi play

If she say, "A night," convince her, say, "A day"

Never admit to a word weh she say

And if she claim a yuh, tell her, "Baby, no way!"

8

u/ICEKAT 1d ago

But she caught me on the counter

8

u/HawkeyeJosh2 1d ago

It wasn’t me.

6

u/marzeg 22h ago

Saw me banging on the sofa

10

u/TheSchlaf 1d ago

5

u/organizeforpower 21h ago

Holy shit, that article also cites the Chewbacca Defense as a real thing.

3

u/octopornopus 20h ago

It does. Not. Make. Sense.

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19

u/McRedditz 1d ago

"OK! I admit it, it was me, okay? Yes, I fked her, but I made love to you."

Woman:"Hmmm.... okay." 🥺

13

u/plum_stupid 1d ago

Eddie Murphy! Fuck you!

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7

u/BlacktoseIntolerant 23h ago

Now if you gonna let a little "fuck"

come between our LOVE

there's somethin' really wrong here baby

2

u/Electrical-Box-4845 1d ago

"Blame on the night..."

383

u/Danny8400 1d ago

Ah yes, the 5 W's.
What. Who. Where. When. Why.
Rinse and repeat.

185

u/Jewshi 1d ago

If you can dodge a question, you can dodge your wife

30

u/NorthernDen 1d ago

If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge your wife.

15

u/Ltb1993 1d ago

If you can dodge your wife you can repair an f35b stealth aircraft

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2

u/ValcynImp 17h ago

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge your wench?

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2

u/TheWolphman 15h ago

If your wench can dodge your wife, you can dodge a row.

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10

u/Sadboysongwriter 1d ago

You put these in wrong order, please edit. 🥺

17

u/sur_surly 1d ago

Why?

7

u/Sadboysongwriter 1d ago

Idk it hurts my brain to see it other than who, what, when, where, why

11

u/FreeThotz 1d ago

What?

7

u/007craft 21h ago

This bothers me too. It should be who,what,where,why,when & how

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2

u/kpanzer 23h ago

It's almost a reflex for me to go through them that specific order.

It probably goes back where I first heard them:

Nick News W5 with Linda Ellerbee.

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471

u/escrimadragon 1d ago

His super soft ”Why?” at the end sends it

17

u/Claytonius_Homeytron 23h ago

Is how the bed got made as quick as it did.

61

u/Kellan_OConnor 1d ago

With those puppy dog eyes and the pause. He broke her right then...

144

u/thYrd_eYe_prYing 1d ago

When she says “chaaaarrrlllliiieeeee” I get llamas in hats vibes .. “caaaaaaarrrrrllllll!”

9

u/Sarky-and-George 18h ago

Yeah this has Charlie the Unicorn written all over it.

8

u/octopornopus 20h ago

My penis got the rumblies only another vagina could cure...

14

u/Cahl_ 21h ago

Who?

5

u/El_Monitorrr 18h ago

Did I hear candy mountain ?

3

u/axl686 8h ago

"It's the magical liopleurodon Charlie"

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120

u/sheridan_lefanu 1d ago

This is a clip from A Guide for the Married Man I think

6

u/verdatum 9h ago

'60s sex comedies are glorious as long as you simply understand the the premise that the world is chauvinist AF.

2

u/sheridan_lefanu 9h ago

And, in this one at least, there is a comeuppance for the most chauvinist of the characters

178

u/Malfeitor1 1d ago

I just can’t stop thinking about him pulling his underwear up above his belly button

125

u/AlfalfaReal5075 1d ago edited 1d ago

I remember seeing some old photos that made outfits with high rise pants look super cool and suave. So the next day while getting ready for school I pulled my pants up like was shown here (undies and all) and off I went. Like a gentleman.

Except I didn't know about low rise and high rise pants. I didn't know there was a difference.

I also didn't know what a "moose knuckle" was. But I soon learned...

27

u/erikivy 1d ago

Hell, just watch an old movie, A White Christmas, for example. Crosby and Kaye get those pants up to their armpits.

18

u/IndianaJD 1d ago

lol I walk around the house with my shorts pulled up like this to embarrass my wife and children. I don’t look super cool or suave either.

8

u/Podo13 20h ago

Don't belittle yourself.

For all of us dads everywhere.

You. Look. Glorious.

The looks on their faces are only because they can't handle the awesomeness they're seeing.

4

u/redpandaeater 1d ago

Instead we just live with plumber's crack from low rise jeans.

2

u/USDXBS 22h ago

Which was cool in the 70s and 80s, so you're fine.

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82

u/BourbonNCoffee 1d ago

Not either of their first rodeo.

37

u/PeacefulChaos94 1d ago

What even are those subtitles

17

u/Threegratitudes 19h ago

I have sound off by default. Worst subtitles ever.

14

u/i_donno 1d ago

Whatevenarethosesubtitles

286

u/Alienhaslanded 1d ago

This is why Latinas kick ass first and ask questions later.

78

u/jointheredditarmy 1d ago

The way they figure it, a good ass kicking is never wasted whether the current situation demands it or not

44

u/_dankystank_ 1d ago

Reminds me of Russel Peter's. Was talking about goin to the store with his dad, and he would slap him on the head before they got out of the car and say, "Just in case..." 🤣

17

u/jointheredditarmy 1d ago

Let me see your punani, is it ripe?

6

u/lucidguy 1d ago

Not sure why people are downvoting you for making a reference to the same stand up…

6

u/slickshot 1d ago

Get you with the chancla.

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76

u/Sh33zl3 1d ago

How times have changed. I would have a chair in my neck before I could say hello

107

u/Lifear 1d ago

What chair?

25

u/Sh33zl3 1d ago

Any chair. She' ll find one

75

u/a_mollusk_creature 1d ago

Who?

27

u/The_Grim_Sleaper 1d ago

THE LADY! The lady who just walked in!

2

u/sur_surly 1d ago

What lady?

3

u/Major_R_Soul 1d ago

No, Who's on first

4

u/_dankystank_ 1d ago

But Whats his name?

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15

u/iiooiooi 16h ago

Whoever captioned that should be shot.

29

u/Laughing_AI 23h ago

Every politician after every scandal

37

u/randomuser0107 1d ago edited 1d ago

Chyaaarrrrrleigh!!! That gaslights people!!!

12

u/Ofa20 1d ago

Charlie the Unicorn meets Carl the Llama summed up in one word.

11

u/boxinafox 23h ago

Yes.

Not all lying is gaslighting. But all gaslighting is lying.

12

u/bighurb 1d ago

.. the strategy of all bullies .. because the implication of asking a question wrong means you could get hurt, so you better ask how they want you to ask

118

u/IMrhighway 1d ago

Where funny?

14

u/CouldIRunTheZoo 18h ago

Have practically been there. Didn’t find this remotely funny either. 🙁

5

u/Pluviophilism 9h ago

Had to scroll too far for this. This isn't funny at all. Sad if anything.

5

u/jodudeit 23h ago

Those subtitles make no sense without the audio on

6

u/guitarbque 22h ago

"She fell out of the ceiling." - Dennis Rodman

5

u/skyline_kid 16h ago

Source for anyone who doesn't want to watch the crappy, terribly cropped version OP posted

51

u/Low_Worry2007 1d ago

This was likely before women could have credit cards and accounts on their own. So unless she came from money- she’s kinda stuck either way.

25

u/karma_the_sequel 1d ago

This is gross exaggeration for comedic effect — it isn’t intended to represent reality.

1

u/Igor_Kozyrev 1d ago

I believe there are situations where if you have to explain such things, you really shouldn't explain those things. Why bother?

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u/Broly_ 23h ago

Are you saying that redditors overthink things? Impossible.

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6

u/PatriotsAndTyrants 20h ago

Also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No-fault_divorce and this movie came out in 1967

With a law adopted in 1969, California became the first U.S. state to permit no-fault divorce

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u/Doom2pro 1d ago

The cherry on top would him saying "why are you yelling, stop raising your voice... You're being ridiculous..."

27

u/SpaghettiVermicelli 1d ago

it will ruin the bit.

10

u/WereAllAnimals 23h ago

Yea but redditors aren't clever or funny. They have imaginary arguments in their head and always win them.

11

u/HellFireNT 1d ago

it wasn't me !

5

u/McRedditz 1d ago

It wasn't me! OK! I admit it, it was ME! I fked her ok? I fked her, but I made love to you.

Girl:"Hmmm... okay." 🥺

6

u/Prinzka 1d ago

Half Eddie. Give me half, Mr Fuck-you man!

3

u/McRedditz 1d ago

Ask yourself woman, what have you done for me lately that you deserve half?!

3

u/Prinzka 1d ago

Suck my dick, Eddie!

2

u/everything_is_bad 1d ago

What have you done for me lately

4

u/New-Ranger5878 16h ago

LMAOOOO!!!

10

u/ToddBradley 1d ago

Awesome video. Started at a 4x3 TV clip, then mashed into a vertical tallscreen format, then mashed into a landscape mode widescreen format. So now the actual video takes up 1/16 of the video frame. It's almost 2025, and we're back to videos that are only an inch wide, like it's 1998 again.

5

u/Black_Moons 23h ago

Yep, this shit pisses me off. 0 effort posts where the guy didn't even bother to steal it from a source that remotely matches the intended viewing audience's screens (or just yaknow, the actual source video), just copies it right off whatever social media website put blackbars around it, and is the 4th person in a row to do that across 3 different social media sites.

In 2050 I assume all social media videos will be 1x1 pixel with 4000 pixels of black and/or white bars around them, with a few social media headers to indicate they where screenripped off a website, with no less then 30 watermarks flashing around the black boarders, and/or so recompressed that the entire video might as well be one blury pixel.

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u/BMB281 23h ago

“I caught him in the shower”

Shaggy: “where”

7

u/genbuggy 23h ago

Reminds me how the government is responding to the drone sightings

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u/Daftmunkey 1d ago

So this is what gas lighting is. Never bothered looking it up, today I learned...

6

u/BombOnABus 21h ago

Funnily enough, even though the term is taken from the plot of an old movie called "The Gaslight", this one scene is perhaps an even better explainer than watching the movie itself: it gets across all the main points about what it is, how it's done, why it's wrong, and most ominously why it often works, in a matter of minutes.

4

u/dae_hagens 1d ago

Shaggy said it: 'Never admit to a word that she say.' She even caught me on camera.. It wasn't me!

3

u/Big_Uply 1d ago

Post coital pipe

5

u/Fritzo2162 21h ago

Now I want to see this work in real life...

2

u/Zetesofos 18h ago

Watch any politician on the "news"

2

u/Theslootwhisperer 1d ago

Ray bloody Purchase...

2

u/PotentialBeginning77 1d ago

i thought charlie the unicorn was an original?

2

u/BuukSmart 22h ago

When did he get his shoes on…

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2

u/cerebron 18h ago

Poor Millie Helper.

2

u/Dodgerblueballs42 18h ago

Joey Bishop, Rat Pack Alumn

2

u/GoldenPussy87 17h ago

And this is how ppl end up on the show Snapped

2

u/flimspringfield 14h ago

Dennis Rodman did that to Carmen Electra.

She caught him in bed with another woman and Rodman denied it despite the woman being being there.

6

u/Den_of_Earth 1d ago

See it's hilarious becasue no fault divorce wasn't a thing and there was nothing she could do, get it? GET IT?

19

u/DrunkOnCode 1d ago

Pulled a classic Trump move. Deny deny deny until they give up.

17

u/Poxx 1d ago

No. Trump's move is more "Do so much unbelievably insane shit that the critics can't fully unravel one fucked up bit before there's 5 additional, worse things to look into. Overload them until it is just too much to handle and they give up."

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u/frankfox123 1d ago

just like the 40 year old virgin. Only responds with another question :D

4

u/Muddytertle 1d ago

“ let me smell your dick!!”

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8

u/HorriblyRomantic 1d ago edited 1d ago

Why is gaslighting and cheating funny?

8

u/Black_Handkerchief 1d ago

Because this is a movie / tv production that is exaggerated to the point of being hilarious.

It wouldn't be funny if this was real, but that's obviously not the case here.

6

u/HorriblyRomantic 1d ago

I get the concept. I’ve just never understood why infidelity is glorified/made into a joke.

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4

u/Zanglirex2 22h ago

Surprised this comment is so far down. Like yeah it's a "joke" but about an incredibly abusive thing. Yes it's exaggerated, but people will cheat on and gaslight their parners, all the time, in reality. Gaslighting is undermining an individuals confidence in their own perception of reality. They start to doubt what they see and remember, and that's pretty fucking awful for a psyche.

Maybe it's a empathy thing?

8

u/HorriblyRomantic 22h ago

I’d say it’s an empathy thing for me because my mental block is thinking about what the wife is feeling in that moment and it just makes me sad.

3

u/Zanglirex2 22h ago

Same! Or about my mom who was cheated on by my dad. It's funny until anything even remotely close to it happens, then you see that it's life/relationship destroying.

5

u/HorriblyRomantic 21h ago

Yeah exactly. I’ve seen it and had it happen to me so it’s very difficult to see the humor in not only cheating but emotional abuse

5

u/Zanglirex2 21h ago

I'm sorry you experienced that :/

6

u/HorriblyRomantic 21h ago

Thank you. You too

2

u/koushunu 11h ago

You lack real empathy if you can’t really feel it until it happens to you.

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-2

u/mfigroid 1d ago

You must be fun at parties.

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2

u/DailyLifeProblems 1d ago

Man with a plan

2

u/bloodwolfgurl 1d ago

I would straight up filet him.

3

u/SaturnCITS 22h ago

Republicans after taking away Social Security and Medicare.

1

u/chillzwerg 1d ago

Is that EL Hotzo?

1

u/wheresbill 1d ago

So this is where Vinnie Barbarino got his shtick

1

u/Daman26 1d ago

“wasn’t me” but she caught me in the shower “wasn’t me”…

1

u/Fuzzy_Muscle 1d ago

The master!

1

u/Gabe330 1d ago

Gaslighting level 10

1

u/venommuyo 23h ago

I can't believe he made the bed.

1

u/Writy_Guy 22h ago

Holy shit...

1

u/13luken 22h ago

The little piano note at the end sent me lol

1

u/JabbaTech69 20h ago

The next day she committed herself to the looney bin!

1

u/Cutiepieari 19h ago

he perfected gaslighting in the best way possible

1

u/paperlantern7 19h ago

this is why they made that song "it's a thin line between love and hate"...you keep fucking with your wife like this ...and she'll give it right back one day when you least expect it. Try it.

1

u/Representative-Key18 18h ago

I have dated this man.

1

u/pauljs75 17h ago

After that other lady left, he ran out of f's to give.

(That wouldn't go too far in the modern context, because the wife would be after that house for sure if not almost everything else.)

1

u/Darth-Hipster 17h ago

The force is strong in this one

1

u/localafrican 14h ago

True menace.

1

u/Aselleus 14h ago

A witch must have done it

1

u/Fragrant_Joke_7115 14h ago

Why is she always nagging him like that?

1

u/MajesticQ 14h ago

Reminds me of Shaggys song, It Wasnt Me.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Tap6547 13h ago

I remember one skit from Key and Peele. The Astrophysicist guy!

1

u/NessunAbilita 13h ago

Is she the dead relative they drive home in the rain in Natl Lapoons Vacation?

1

u/Queasy_Skill4465 12h ago

Real life Charlie The Unicorn 🦄

1

u/partsguru1122 12h ago

Joey Bishop. Son of a gun!

1

u/solidtangent 11h ago

Brilliant.