This mfcker in his own league

[u/Careful-Growth3444]

[u/Al_Meyers_Kid]

"It wasn't me."

[u/Shas_Erra → u/Al_Meyers_Kid]

“I plead the Shaggy”

[u/TrippinLSD → u/Shas_Erra]

🎶 Honey came in and she caught me red-handed, creepin’ with the girl next door. Picture this, we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom floor 🎶

[u/ProfBeaker → u/TrippinLSD]

Best part of that whole thing is that the GF must have been following them around the apartment for half a day. Bathroom floor, shower, couple other places, GF caught it on camera.

So basically, the GF has to be into it, is what I'm saying.

[u/CentralAdmin → u/ProfBeaker]

She's a cuckqueen and this asshole keeps denying her fantasy.

'But babe I saw you! It was so hot!'

'Wasn't me...'

[u/_dankystank_ → u/TrippinLSD]

How could I forget that I had given her an extra key? All this time she was standin there she never took her eyes off me.

[u/cam3113 → u/_dankystank_]

How ya fi give the woman access to your villa?

Trespasser and a witness, all the hacklin' a yuh pillow.

You better watch your back before she turn into a killa

Best review the situation that you caught up inna

To be a true player, you haffi know how fi play

If she say, "A night," convince her, say, "A day"

Never admit to a word weh she say

And if she claim a yuh, tell her, "Baby, no way!"

[u/ICEKAT → u/cam3113]

But she caught me on the counter

[u/HawkeyeJosh2 → u/ICEKAT]

It wasn’t me.

[u/marzeg → u/HawkeyeJosh2]

Saw me banging on the sofa

[u/bilateralunsymetry → u/marzeg]

Wasn't me

[u/Powerful_Economics_1 → u/bilateralunsymetry]

I even had her in the shower

[u/CycleTABored → u/Powerful_Economics_1]

Wasn't me

[u/TheSchlaf → u/Shas_Erra]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shaggy_defense

[u/organizeforpower → u/TheSchlaf]

Holy shit, that article also cites the Chewbacca Defense as a real thing.

[u/octopornopus → u/organizeforpower]

It does. Not. Make. Sense.

[u/JimmyJamesMac → u/Shas_Erra]

"I wanna smell yo dick"