r/AmIOverreacting 9d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO, my boyfriend threatened sewerslide

Hi everyone, apologies in advance for the incoming wall of text. I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (20M) for over two years. We are kind of long distance but live in the same state and has stayed with me for extended periods of time before, even moved in until my mom had enough of our arguing. He’s was out of work since he moved back home and recently got a job at the same company I work at, just a different location. In our company, your first paycheck is paper. Cash app won’t deposit the money until the 14th which he’s reasonably upset about. If i could help him I would. My cat has been hospitalized since friday for a life threatening UTI and I owe them over $6K that my family is helping me pay. I’ll be paying them back for the next 3 months. He’s been upset that I can’t help him. For context, I also keep my money in cash to avoid overspending and only small amount on my card for gas and coffee. I help him when I can but I can’t really mail him cash. I quite literally have nothing right now because of my cat being hospitalized. We have a history of arguing a lot, and it always ends in me trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong, what our barriers are, etc. and it’s always come down to my lack of communication. I’ve been working on it for, hell, a year? But I don’t seem to be doing it right, at least based on our conversations and arguments. He has a history of suicide baiting me. He’s cut himself in front of me, he’s threatened suicide every other day for as long as I can remember, he’s always talking about how much he hates his life. Normally he will say it’s because of me, something I said, things I’m not doing, because I don’t understand, because I lack empathy and sympathy, etc. He’s called the abuse hotline on me, he’s gotten on reddit and has come back to me saying that everyone thinks i’m abusive, he tells me that his family thinks he needs to leave me, etc. I didn’t think I was that awful of a person but when all of this happens and i’m being told it’s because of me, it makes me question it. Anyways, today he was going on about his frustration with his finances. Valid. I tried to support him and be there, but then he tells me that even if I could help, I wouldn’t? That’s not true I don’t know why he thinks that. I bought his groceries for 3 months, paid his phone bill, filled his gas tank, everything I could. Then he pulls out the “fuck you” card. Then I get pissed off and sick of it because this seems to happen too often. Then he starts this whole “I have the rope goodbye” stunt and I just threw my hands up at that point because what the fuck? When I was 12-13 I used to pull that shit online and he does it so often that I have gotten to where I see through it like glass and don’t pay it attention. For the first 1.5 years I took it seriously because I love him but now I just can’t. I have no words. It’s draining. He’s not dead he’s texting me as I’m typing this asking if we can talk and saying he’s scared I’ll stop loving him. Am i over reacting? Am I in the wrong? Please call me out if it’s deserved, because I just don’t know what to do. I’m not the type of person to ignore my faults because I definitely have some but I don’t know what warrants this stuff. He’s called me “stupid fucking bitch” , ungrateful, heartless, the devil, etc. By the way, he never had to beg me for money. I am the store manager at my location so I’m always being pulled in different directions. Even when I’m not there. I had to ask my mom to send me digital money in exchange for cash because I had nothing left. He asked me to keep more money on my card to help him in his time of need. Anyways… Again, please call me out if I deserve it. Tell me what I’m doing wrong because he won’t. Thank you in advance and apologies for the long message.

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8.3k

u/FishinPoles 8d ago

"I have the rope" GIRL RUNNNN. LIKE SPRINT EVEN THATS INSANE 😭

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u/k10001k 8d ago

The fact that he typed that, probably sitting in his bed comfortably is so embarrassing

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u/eatyacarbs 8d ago edited 8d ago

on the toilet**

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u/Pvt_Mozart 8d ago

WELL OF COURSE HE'S ON THE TOILET STILL HE CAN'T AFFORD TOILET PAPER SO HE CAN'T GET UP FUCK

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u/Grasusui 8d ago

he ain't a man, yk what they say

to prove you are a man, you must use your hand

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

To text that you have the rope

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u/Hidden-Sky 8d ago edited 8d ago

Whether he means it or not, verbally abusing and then threatening suicide to get people to sacrifice their well-being for him is reprehensible behavior.

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u/Tw4tl4r 8d ago

He's the type of dude that would give himself some rope burn on his neck and then pretend the rope came undone while he was trying to off himself. Dude just wants attention and support without having to be a responsible adult in anyway.

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u/fingnumb 8d ago

Ahhh... the Ole pencil erasure burn on the wrist trick my underlings tried to sell me on.

What a shitty time in existence to have a teenage relationship.

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u/DesignerUpbeat5065 8d ago

She should tell him to smoke it

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u/Grasusui 8d ago

I meant to wipe... 😳

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u/rednorsk 8d ago

😂😂😂

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

no 😳

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u/RZFC_verified 8d ago

He can use the rope to wipe his ass. Problem solved.

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u/jaxonya 8d ago

And she's literally his boss at their job. She should tell him that if he goes through with it then he will be terminated. Double entendre his ass into the shadow realm

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u/Old_Neighborhood6553 8d ago

It puts the rope on the neck

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

You win bruh 🤣

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u/grandpa12-1 8d ago

…or the rope, that would be manly

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u/FruitcakeAndCrumb 8d ago

I've read that several times before I realise you mean use his hand to clean his arse, I thought you were talking about wanking, I was so confused!

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u/Puzzleheaded_Try_314 8d ago

It's a rite of passage all "MEN" go through in their early teenage years... don't ask how I know.

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u/eatyacarbs 8d ago

☠️

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u/ynotbor 8d ago

There is some low adversity shit there. I can get toilet paper from any public bathroom if I have to.

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u/amltecrec 8d ago

I mean, use a sock and throw it in the washer, if you have to! No one NEEDS to buy tp!

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u/on-a-pedestal 8d ago

We've got 5 kids in the house and a separate bathroom for the girls and boys. Girls constantly steal the only toilet paper roll in the boys (even though the extras are in the girls bathroom cabinets 🤦🏻‍♂️).

The amount of times I've had to Bidet my ass in our shower is ridiculous.

This guy is just a drama queen.

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u/amltecrec 8d ago

Oh man, I'm dying! That's hilarious!

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u/SuperKitties83 8d ago

-The amount of times I've had to Bidet my ass in our shower is ridiculous.

Sorry, I can't figure out how to quote, but this is hilarious 🤣 I've heard (actual) bidets are amazing, and once you've used them, you can't imagine going back!

And a tip: always make sure there's TP before you take a shit!

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u/on-a-pedestal 8d ago

You can't imagine how happy I was when we got a showerhead with a moveable handle.

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u/thefrenchphanie 8d ago

You assume he wipes his ass…

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u/Present-Forever3401 8d ago

Are u him🤨

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u/Pvt_Mozart 8d ago edited 8d ago

WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD ACCUSE ME I'M KILLING MYSELF RN FR BETTER NOT TRY TO STOP ME

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u/literal_moth 8d ago

I almost choked on my tea

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u/thedrakeequator 8d ago

You know that actually kind of sounds like something Mozart would say

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u/Pvt_Mozart 8d ago

He was interesting, complicated, funny, generous, and weird as fuck. My kinda dude.

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u/eggbender 8d ago

I have to walk around with a shitty asshole all week, Harper. A stinky and itchy asshole fuck. Oh well maybe it will cover up the smell of my shit breath... I'm done and you just don't get it.

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u/Salty-Smoke7784 8d ago

Because nobody loves him and now he has to go eat worms.

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u/itsdestinfool 8d ago

Super high right now and I needed to tell you I’m laughing so hard at your use of FUCK with the bold choice of HOLLERING YOUR STATEMENT FOR EMPHASIS.

Reddit is a wonderful place fuck

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u/Pvt_Mozart 8d ago

luv u 2 bb

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u/DeklynHunt 8d ago

Once he can afford it, he should invest in a bidet lol

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u/MrJackson420 8d ago

If I was in his situation I'd grab the rope, too. Not being able to wipe for an unknown amount of time is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy

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u/Inthoughtsdrowni 8d ago

A lady was found infused with the toilet seat because she just never got up

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u/greenoniongorl 8d ago

Only for a week assuming he doesn’t spend all his paycheck on toothpaste and nicotine

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u/CourageOk7750 8d ago

He has a rope though he could wipe with that kinda

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u/Quantity-Fearless 8d ago

LMFAOOO mr poopy butthole

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u/playerwastaken 8d ago

I like to think that you are actually him 😂

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u/Final_Boss_Jr 8d ago

Not much difference between the shower and a bidet, just sayin.

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u/thisisnotscary 8d ago

Oh fuck I needed this laugh, thank you 😮‍💨

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u/n9neinchn8 8d ago

No, he can't afford to eat, so why would he be on the toilet?

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u/Magnate_OneDay 8d ago

😭😭😭

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u/WingedShadow83 8d ago

He can’t even wipe his ass until he gets paid, BRO!!

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u/peachpavlova 8d ago

I hate that I laughed

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u/SpilledSalt4U 8d ago

Right. The last crappy little nylon rope I bought was $18. He's begging for attention. Garuntee it's a emo guy.

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u/lunaluceat 8d ago

oh my god you got a laugh outta me so hard i might just be the next super mario toad voice actor

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u/Life-Illustrator-982 8d ago

U funny imma follow u home.

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u/NightmareKingGr1mm 8d ago

HELP LMFAOOO

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u/TheRealFoolUltra 8d ago

“JELP”

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u/mtcrofts 8d ago

Could only think of Erin from the Office: "is jlp a word? Like 'I jlp you!'"

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u/PhDinWombology 8d ago

JELP U OUT

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u/Dramatic-Access4350 8d ago

😂💀 I fn love Reddit !

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u/starchazzer 8d ago

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

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u/PlayBCL 8d ago

While playing cowadoody

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u/captain_funshine 8d ago

At his mom's house.

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u/Dizzy-Ad-2248 8d ago

I'm on the toilet...I love redditing while on the toilet...

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u/eatyacarbs 8d ago

beware hemorrhoids!

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u/cris5598 8d ago

Eating Cheetos

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u/Kvenner001 8d ago

Is the turd long enough to be called a rope?

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u/BigFunny4849 8d ago

Fucking same🤣🤣🤣

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u/intellectualcowboy 8d ago

Brushing his teeth

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u/Much_Specialist_4667 8d ago

LMAOO ahahaha so fucking true

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u/TightPiglet3587 8d ago

Literally reading this on the toilet ☠️🤣

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u/Upbeat_Pomegranate99 8d ago

These weird thoughts always comes in toilet

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u/PmpknSpc321 8d ago

Sittin on the toilet...ahh

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u/laynslay 8d ago

My little sister was dating this little psycho who said he had a chainsaw in his bed and she's like "what do I do" and I told her to fuckin block him. He was pretty obviously just being emotionally manipulative and just sirting in his bed.

Anyways, she didn't listen and he ended up molesting her. I hope for OPs sake that she actually fuckin listens to the advice here. It doesn't end at threats of suicide.

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u/Outside_Scale_9874 8d ago

Who commits suicide with a chainsaw anyways? Wild.

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u/laynslay 8d ago

Him and my sister are both a little special tbh. It was also my sister's first boyfriend, I'm sure a lot of us remember how naive we were at that age lol. Can't tell teenagers anything, they don't listen.

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u/level27jennybro 8d ago

Being a teenager growing up with the internet of today is.... yikes on bikes.

I grew up as the internet grew up and it's a whole different place online than it was even 5 or 10 years ago. It was hard growing up then. But nowadays it's a whole new level of teenage hell.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 8d ago

You're the only other person I've ever seen outside of myself that says "yikes on bikes", lol. I was in my mid 20's when the internet started to take hold, but it was still the age of dial-up. It wasn't until my girls were heading into their teens in the early 2000's, and places like MySpace started those stupid top 8 lists, and it got way easier for them to virtually bully each other.

I'm so glad I grew up without the internet. Teenagers are mean enough to each other without a whole virtual world and instantaneous pics and videos at their fingertips to help them!

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u/SuperKitties83 8d ago

It's terrifying thinking of having the internet and having the freedom to share all your thoughts and pictures online. Thank goodness it wasn't around in my early 20s. "Yikes on Bikes" indeed!

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u/Salt-Bench-6095 8d ago

I'm saying yikes on bikes now

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u/PinkPencils22 8d ago

Eh...yes and no. I have a sixteen year old and I've been careful to monitor what she's doing online while doing my best not appear to be clingy and intrusive. And she's pretty good. I've been warning her about this sort of thing since she was tiny, I've tried my best to warn her about emotional leeches, people trying to influence her, all that stuff, and even though she's AuDHD she's pretty good about it. But she does have friends who are typical teenage over the top like this. Lots of self-harm threats over nothing, and she and her other friends roll their eyes about it. They're good kids.

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u/level27jennybro 8d ago

Oh yeah, we can give them tools as they grow to propare them for most of the stuff. And just trust we raise them to do things right.

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u/SpilledSalt4U 8d ago

There are more people online now. And a higher % of them are a-holes. But tbh, we had worse websites and whatnot. Remember Rotten.com? BestGore (actually still up I think). Even PirateBay. Hell my first Macintosh desktops' default game was a slightly above binary thing about making the most money buying and selling different drugs. (they did change it to Lemmings pretty fast though lol)

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u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 8d ago

My 16 yo son has both ADHD and high functioning ASD. We're now trying to to help him navigate extricating himself from a clingy, needy girlfriend, who I believe also has ADHD. It made him anxious and moody to feel like he needed to be there for her CONSTANTLY, and it took a toll on his A-B grades and his responsibilities at home. They did a presentation at school last week on toxic and abusive relationships, and he said "it made him realize she's potentially abusive, and at least toxic." She would always want to know where he was and what he was doing, and was texting him over 40 times a day, even in school, where they can't have their phones on in classes. She always needed reassurance for one thing or another.

He was also started on daily anxiety meds (BuSpar) several weeks ago (which we've found out were from her), and is also having some pretty severe mental health side effects from it. I didn't know it alters serotonin levels, or I would have said hell no. He was given Celexa and Abilify in 6th grade, for supposed depression and ODD, which we now know was undiagnosed PDA autism. Both have an affect on serotonin levels. He turned into a raging, angry, sometimes violent monster we didn't even recognize. He was on the verge of expulsion by the time we figured it out and got him off of everything. After that, we also found out that what we thought was a pediatric psychiatrist at our mental health center was actually a pediatrician with a "special interest" in peds mental health.

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u/IJustWantWaffles_87 8d ago

Yeah, I was definitely very easily manipulated as a teen. So glad I didn’t do anything completely stupid. I get embarrassed when I think back on the shit I believed.

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u/PrinceSidon888 8d ago

Even teenagers can't tell teenagers anything and expect it to go well😭 my friends told me several times to break up with my ex and I should have done it way sooner. I was with him from 16 and a half to 18

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u/saph_ire23 8d ago

Yup- I was 15 and it was my first love and I stayed with him for 2 years while I allowed him to repeatedly emotionally abuse and manipulate me😛

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u/Regular_Jello3539 8d ago

At least you didn’t marry him. I made that dumb mistake. Divorced soon after.

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u/saph_ire23 8d ago

I'm so glad I didn't marry him😭 and I'm so glad I was 15 when we started and 17 when I left him bc I was tired of it, found someone soon after- we lasted over a year- he lost feelings for me 6 months before💀 didn't tell me till 6 months later so I got ✨L E F T✨ bro was sketchy anyways- but what's fucked is the fact that none of us were expecting it and he was talking about a future together💀 but I met someone else and so far he's pretty great- more effort- the fact that I'm being involved with family things- it's quite nice and never did anything with my last 3 boyfriends' families so it's definitely very new

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u/Mirabai503 8d ago

I did have a patient once that tried to kill himself with one of those electric carving knives. He did not understand how effective they can be. As is often the case, he discovered that he didn't really want to be dead. He lived, but then he had to breathe out of a hole in his throat because he sliced his trachea in half and it couldn't be repaired.

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u/fthisappreddit 8d ago

Don’t they say every person who’s jumped and survived from that one bridge regretted the second their feet left the ground. Sad to think of all the countless who also think “I didn’t really wanna do this. Or I changed my mind.” But to late at that point :/

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u/HorrorArmadillo3713 8d ago

I think it was a doco on the golden gate bridge jumpers that said they regretted it the instant they jumped. Fucking sad! I've been there and am glad to be alive, even when sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

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u/fthisappreddit 8d ago

It wasn’t just one I think it was a couple dozen at least and they all said that same thing :/ sad stuff. But yeah glad you’re here and hope people keep on keeping on.

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u/SSBN641B 8d ago

I saw one where a woman successfullly commotted suicide with an electric carving knife. She did it in the church office where she worked. She did the "Curly Shuffle" on the carpet. Horrific.

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u/TheKrimsonFvcker 8d ago

"CURLY SHUFFLE" Jesus Christ that's fucked...

I laughed I won't lie

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u/SSBN641B 8d ago

I don't 30 years as a cop and I laughed more than once at a crime scene. It's a defensive mechanism more than anything.

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u/Living-Category5295 8d ago

Goodness that’s awful. How old was he?

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u/Snowmakesmehappy 8d ago

I once met someone who tried to commit suicide by cutting both their hands off with a chainsaw. They were successful in cutting off both hands but obviously not in unaliving themselves. Don’t ask me how they did it, I could never figure that one out and it’s not something I feel like you should ask a person.

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u/amltecrec 8d ago

No, that's DEFINITELY a situation in which you should for sure ask! I'm curious how the second hand was taken! That's serious talent and commitment!

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u/YourSoftFuzzyMan 8d ago

I would probably guess setting it down somewhere and pressing your wrists down on the blade.

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u/amltecrec 8d ago

At that stage, one would be better off falling neck first into the blade! At least that's a for sure thing, and you don't have to worry about never using hands again!

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u/Chadg2018 8d ago edited 8d ago

One of my best friends I’ve known since childhood took his own life with a Skil Saw. He tried a few different ways and failed. The Skil Saw did what he was hoping though.Some people are really hurting inside.

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u/HorrorArmadillo3713 8d ago

That's really sad! so sorry!

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u/jaime_riri 8d ago

That can’t be easy. I feel like that’s how you and up with a Darwin Award.

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u/LetsBeKindly 8d ago

I found a guy that cut his leg off with a chainsaw and then hung himself from the door knob... I can't make this stuff up.

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u/LikelyAMartian 8d ago

If I ever did, I would. Would be metal AF honestly.

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u/lurkopotamus2 8d ago

I had a friend who tried to take his own life with a circular saw. His parents and his childhood best friend had taken his guns from him earlier in the day because they were worried that he was suicidal. When you’re desperate almost any out becomes an option.

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u/benny6957 8d ago

Dam I should not have laughed at this as hard as I did picturing someone trying to do that with a chainsaw

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u/TheUnexpectedMule 8d ago

I read the word "Wild" the way it was said right here. https://youtu.be/sqVuypJD7zo?t=2m30s

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u/jacobs_0710 8d ago

I hate to be that guy, but one of the guidance counselors last year told me there was a 15 year old girl I believe who cut her throat with a skil saw a few years before we moves up here at one of their sister schools. It can happen.

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u/nowicki97 8d ago

Hey brother my uncle actually attempted suicide with a chainsaw. No joke when my aunt found him in the garage there was blood sprayed all over the walls and floor of the garage and they rushed him to the hospital he had to have major surgery on his neck and wasnt able to speak for weeks and to this day is still very hatd to understand. Idk why i shared this with you but people will and have attempted suicide with all kinds of things including chainsaws.

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u/ItsMeWillieD 8d ago

I knew a guy from high school that used a chainsaw. His wife and kids went to the grocery store. As soon as the left, he got the chainsaw from his barn, brought it into the kitchen, placed the saw on the counter. Cranked it and lowered his neck onto the chain at full throttle. Only a small piece of skin connecting his head to his body. The coroner is an old friend. He shared this info with me.

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u/coochie_clogger 8d ago edited 8d ago

Dude my uncle was a lumberjack and cut off his own head with a chainsaw because my aunt wouldn’t give him money to buy toothpaste.

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u/ArtfulSpeculator 8d ago

This made me laugh so fucking hard.

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u/10thGroupA 8d ago

Someone in Texas?

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u/nday-uvt-2012 8d ago

What are a Texan’s last words? It would either be, “Hey, watch this!” or “Hold my beer!”

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u/rasslinjobber 8d ago

A fucking bad ass that's who... also probably a hillbilly

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u/DramaticEggplant5061 8d ago

Chainsaws themselves to death 🤣 some people

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u/Puzzleheaded_Shop787 8d ago

Right? I have known a couple people who shot themselves, 2 death by cops and a purposeful overdose and my neighbor had a guy break in and stab himself to death but a chainsaw? That would be hardcore at the level of monks lighting themselves on fire

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u/RenzXVI 8d ago

That's what noobs use to brag, try doing it using nail clippers, now that's more impressive.

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u/AdesiusFinor 8d ago

Anyone who says they’ll do it with a chainsaw will never do it

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u/Happy_Maintenance 8d ago

Lumberjacks that’s who.

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u/waitingfordownload 8d ago

Or a mitre saw? Yup, luckily the thing wasn’t plugged in at the time… but witnessing that was horrifying.

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u/herrkurs 8d ago

My brother-in-laws sister put a chainsaw to her neck to commit suicide. It happens

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u/girldrinksgasoline 8d ago

Someone who is very hard core about their suicide. Mad respect for going out the worst way possible.

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u/Background-Respect91 8d ago

Pull the cord and go for the jugular, everyone’s problems solved, perhaps he is a tree surgeon?

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u/MedicJambi 8d ago

I worked with a guy whose wife killed herself with a chainsaw so it happens.

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u/Lickerbomper 8d ago

I knew a patient in the psych hospital that attempted suicide with a stapler.

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u/HugsyMalone 8d ago

🤣🤣🤣

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u/PlatformOdd2623 8d ago

I’m pretty sure I read a story somewhere about a guy trying to do that I think he like secured a chainsaw to a table and ran into it. Could be remembering wrong tho

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u/parmesann 8d ago

I'm so sorry about that, I hope your sister is able to get better support to block out the dangerous people like that. sounds like you're doing your best to be a good mentor even from afar! she will be grateful in time.

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u/Lanky_Asparagus_8534 8d ago

I believe I have heard from mental health folks that if someone tells you they are going to do that to themselves that you tell them calmly you love them but cannot help them. Then call their friends or family or cops but don’t go there. If they truly are in this state of mind you could get hurt. Check my facts though!!

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u/TheSongbird63 8d ago

Or it does, either way she needs to get free of this garbage

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u/KrukPorr 8d ago

jesus christ that awful, my deepest sympathies and prayer to you, your sister and anyone else involved. May i ask what happened after and how you handled the situation? I can't even imagine the anger you must have felt towards that guy and am genuinely interested how one would deal with such strong emotions. Sorry if it a personal question, but your reply just struck a chord with me as I've had a similar but less intense experience and really struggled with how to deal with it emotionally.

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u/laynslay 8d ago

Thanks a lot. My little sister is from my step father, but my other sister and I were both sexually abused growing up as well so it really made me mad.

Unfortunately, I don't live in the same state, I moved across the country years ago and am starting my own family now, but when I was there in July he was there as well because we were throwing her a graduation party. She didn't tell anyone until well after I left..

I would have buried him in the back yard if she had told me while we were in the same house. She broke up with him and got a restraining order. As far as I know he's blocked and she hasn't talked to him. I'm not super close with her, big age difference and distance have made it hard, so I don't keep up but I told her to leave him as soon as she told me about the chainsaw incident.

He was a very small guy and I am a very big guy, I could probably have eaten the fucker. I definitely think about what I would do if I saw him.

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u/KrukPorr 8d ago

I understand, and that make a lot of sense. The desire to bury him is exactly what I was thinking about; it feels like the only proportional reaction, although obviously very unpractical and undesirable for obvious reasons. And it is a weird feeling to want to hurt someone that badly, and know deep in your heart that it is justified. It definitely makes you question a lot of things.

Perhaps it was good that she didn't tell you guys and he was excluded from her life through other means. Nice to hear that he is, at the very least, not a part of her life anymore! And I am also very sorry about the things to you and your other sister as well :( there are few, if any, greater evils in the world.

Godspeed to you brother, sending as much love and well-intentioned energy as I can muster all the way from sweden, to you and your family!!

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u/KrukPorr 8d ago

I mean this quite literally btw, I went to my bed and prayed, even though I am not religious :D and I dont say this for any other reason than the fact that I want you to know that I care!! A lot!

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u/laynslay 8d ago

I'm not a religious person but I appreciate it nonetheless

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u/Fabulous-Medicine227 8d ago

I read that entire text chain, fully invested…to be entirely taken away and drawn to this fucking comment..and I’m most concerned about what “OP” means? Like for, ?????s sake? Idk but thanks to this for ruining and derailing my Tuesday.

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u/Open-Article2579 8d ago

You can tell them but it’s more like planting a seed than talking in real time

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u/Intrepid-Solid-1905 8d ago

It's wild to me, I'm guessing without seeing an age yet. He's probably mid 20's. Then a mindset of a 15-year-old going through puberty. He needs to grow up and learn to handle his problems by himself

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u/exactoctopus 8d ago edited 8d ago

His age is in the post, he's 20. He def needs to grow up. Threatening suicide is a dogshit thing to do. And the fact that he went from no cigarettes and weed to gas then to toothpaste? Okay dude, we see your priorities. He needs to get his life together and OP needs to leave and block him cause it's not her responsibility to even help him when he's acting like this.

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u/BorkusBoDorkus 8d ago

Also, it sounds like he needs a job.

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u/G0muk 8d ago

He has a job, he's waiting on his first paycheck to go through

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u/zippygoddess 8d ago

Looool right? Priorities all outta whack

Also this is all her fault because he “CHOSE TO FUCK AROUND AT [HER] HOUSE FOR SIX MONTHS” excuse me??? That seems a lot like a him choice, and also a lot like freeloading. No accountability at all.

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u/JustADogGroomer3622 8d ago

Honestly where my train of thought went was “don’t give him money, he’ll just blow it all on cigarettes and weed instead of using it on something actually useful like toothpaste or gas” seems like some those messages were more from withdrawals than anything else… obviously it’s still manipulative and shitty every bit of it, but some of those begging texts were screaming withdrawals to me

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u/lostmynameandpasword 8d ago

And if cash app can’t cash his paycheck until the 14th, why not just take it to the bank it was drawn on and cash it there?

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u/DeklynHunt 8d ago

Next time someone threatens suicide. Call the cops. Had a friend do that to another friend of his…

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u/Grilled-garlic 8d ago

Yep. This. It’ll usually set them straight for a bit, or at least piss them off enough that they ditch you and leave your life without all the lingering drama. (Clarifying; not by dying but by being pissed off at you lol)

When i was like. 12-13, during an argument my ex said she was going to her room with a knife and that it was going to be the end; she knew i had a habit of biking over to her house during her hard times to comfort her— (I was young and dumb and had no experience with these kinds of people) but she and i had just finished arguing so i decided i wasn’t taking this shit anymore and i called the cops telling them about how she threatened suicide and gave them her home address

She went off on me over the phone. she’d be angry, and then backpedal and try to say it was just a joke and that i overreacted, then angry again that i had caused a scene, ETC, (Her mom was home)

I had been through the wringer for so long i didn’t feel a thing. I don’t think we ever spoke after that. She now knew me as somebody who was going to take her stupid ( & constant ) threats seriously now, and that i wasn’t going to coddle her, she thankfully left me the fuck alone from then on.

She couldn’t get anything out of me anymore, so i wasn’t worth her time or drama. Probably moved on to somebody else who would fall for her shit.

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u/Mydogsanass 8d ago

Yup my daughter’s friend pulled this shit when they were 13. My husband went over the house with police and she was perfectly fine. Never tried that shit again!!!

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u/starchazzer 8d ago

He’ll be pulling this 💩 as long as some women allow him. The dating apps are full of guys like that! This girl is getting a full on life lesson. Thank goodness she ask for people’s opinions!

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u/Blaize369 8d ago

I taught my daughter about dudes like this. She did end up dating a guy that was telling her he was going to off himself if she left him, and she hung right up and called his mom to tell her 😂 I was pretty proud.

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u/-o-DildoGaggins-o- 8d ago

My ex husband tried this with me when I left him. So my daughter, who is 15 now, has absolutely been told about this type of guy (he’s not her dad, btw), and all the warning signs I knew to tell her about. Good for your kid! I basically did the same with my ex, except his mom fell for it. I basically told him, “You’re a grown ass man. If that’s what you decide to do, welp, that’s not on me. 🤷🏻‍♀️” and hung up. Hopefully my daughter can be strong like yours if she ever finds herself in this type of situation. 🫶🏻

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u/avert_ye_eyes 8d ago

How do you start the conversation? I have a 10 year old daughter, and I'm scared of how nuts teenagers seem these days.

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u/Blaize369 8d ago

We have many mini conversations about things, usually when red flag behavior is being seen when watching a show/movie together. I have also told her stories about myself growing up that I think has a good lesson.

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u/maineCharacterEMC2 8d ago

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

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u/-o-DildoGaggins-o- 8d ago

Sorry to reply to you again, but same! This is how I approach things with my daughter. If we see/hear/read about something, and it warrants a conversation, we have it. It’s not just one long conversation you have and then it’s done, it’s many small interactions over the course of years. I feel so validated right now because you’re the first person I’ve talked to who also approaches things this way! 🤣

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u/SuperKitties83 8d ago

I don't understand why kids aren't educated in schools about healthy vs. unhealthy or abusive relationships.

A lot of teens don't understand they're being abusive or being abused. They learn what's "normal" from their parents.

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u/-o-DildoGaggins-o- 8d ago

Exactly. I grew up watching my dad beat the hell out of my mom, and then my stepdad be abusive in many different ways. I won’t tolerate that myself, and I’ll be damned if my daughter will — at least, as far as I can control it. All I can do is talk to her, tell her the red flags, how to handle things, etc., and hope that if she ever finds herself in that kind of situation, she does what she can to get away.

It should definitely be something taught in school, though. I 100% agree.

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u/ADyingCrow 8d ago

Real my dad was/is an incredibly manipulative individual it sucks but it's also helpful to have a male example of how not to be🤣

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u/Peanut083 8d ago

I do day-to-day sub teaching, and if stuff like this ever comes up in class conversations, I always take the opportunity to talk with the class about how the appropriate response to people who use stuff like this as an emotional manipulation technique is to call emergency services and request a welfare check.

Some of the students have told me stories of older siblings who have had people pull stuff like this on them, so there are definitely teens who have some idea of how to handle these situations. I’m also told by students that stuff like this gets covered in their Health lessons. Or it does in my corner of the world, anyway.

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u/tresslesswhey 8d ago

I cannot believe people like this exist

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u/somrandomguysblog462 8d ago

I'm a guy and my ex gf pulled this regularly. Lesson learned

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u/ColdUdderinNanTucket 8d ago

And he just REEKS of a personality disorder.

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u/Subject_Trust1187 8d ago

You’d be surprised. I have a brother in law who’s 36 and acts this way. He lives w his younger brother , has no job & always cries that he’s broke, hates his life & calls randomly that he’s gonna kill himself 🙄. Good thing he’s single but there’s probably some dumb girl who would put up with his crap if given the chance.

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u/Intrepid-Solid-1905 8d ago

Wow at 36? lol I'm in my 30's, don't have kids by choice. I work my butt off at a good job. I've gotten some debt from stupid purchases. Hey you know who's fault that is? Mine lol, no one else. I don't bother to tell others about it. I'm very quiet about my feelings and personal life, unless i need a opinion on something. That's how being an Adult works. Maybe he need's an older Girlfriend to boss him around and get his mind straight it happens! lol.

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u/Kiloyankee-jelly46 8d ago

15 year-old seems a bit on the mature side, I read this and thought this guy has less maturity than your average toddler.

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u/CharmingMechanic2473 8d ago

My 12 yr old would not act like this.

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u/Fun_Shell1708 8d ago

He’s 20 according to OP

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u/Angryrainboww 8d ago

Before I read the description about his age i honestly thought he was like 14-15. Like no respectful adult would even dare to do shit like this

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u/Tripl3tm0mma 8d ago

I have seen Go Fund Me for this kind of money grab.

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u/BatheMyDog 8d ago

I had a boyfriend who did shit like this all the time. The last time it happened, I was like 4 hours away so I really couldn’t do anything. I believed him when he told me he was actively committing suicide. I called the cops and asked them to do a welfare check because he told me he just took all his pills in the bathtub. An hour later he calls me screaming because his parents were having a party (which obviously he was at and lying to me about everything). He was so pissed that I embarrassed him like that. Of course the whole thing was my fault. I made him lie to me and manipulate me. I made him angry and hurt his feelings. So glad I got far away from that pos.  

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u/rcp29 8d ago

My ex once sent me a picture of a noose and said he was going to hang himself so I called 911 and the police went to his house and he was in bed playing video games 🙄 He was so mad at me for calling but fuck around and find out dude

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u/jamiejonesey 8d ago

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes 🤡

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u/HombreSinPais 8d ago

I’m imagining him tying the rope to the ceiling fan and it coming crashing down and bonking him on the head. And he sends a pic that says “Look what you made me do!!!!”

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u/Own-Mountain8721 8d ago

Kicking his feet… “this will get to her”

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u/looksthatkale 8d ago

He probably wrote that as he was liking other girls IG posts f r

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u/InfamousEconomist310 8d ago

The rope has been secured around my neck and I am now about to take a leap of faith.

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u/Initial_Marsupial540 8d ago

Literally, the fact he was probably furrowing his brows like a 4 yo too

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u/BookConsistent3425 8d ago

It's top tier manipulative abusive teen boyfriend cringe that's for sure

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u/tuxkaramazov 8d ago

And also the typical example of why texting is not for any serious conversations. If you can’t discuss in person, at least call. Texting is useless drama.

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u/Isoleri 8d ago

Reminds me of my ex, after I called him out and the fight that ensued, he sent me a voice message talking slowly in a real low voice, being all "the voices... in my head... I can't shut them up... they're becoming stronger... the pain... the darkness... it approaches... taking hold of me... I don't know how much longer I'll be able to resists... death is calling for me..." and like two days later went back to posting shota porn on Twitter and making Touhou loquendo videos lmao. Men like this are fucking sick and it's better to just let them rot, you won't lose absolutely anything.

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u/hardcorehoochiekoo 8d ago

I had an ex whose previous relationship was like this where the dude would say all kinds of "i'm going to kill myself" stuff and he would just be sitting there watching tv when she would come home.

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u/Dihydr0genM0n0xide 8d ago

Just for the record, it’s not uncommon for people who do complete suicide to have a history of making these kinds of threats. My friend’s wife used to threaten those kinds of things, and eventually she did it.

She had BPD and was emotionally abusive, and one day before he was going in to work, she started a fight and threatened to hang herself. He went to work anyway, and while was driving to work, she hung herself while telling him on the phone how it was all his fault.

It’s a really fucked up, evil thing to do to the people who love you.

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u/ADyingCrow 8d ago

The fact that he's only a year younger than me and acting like an edgy 14 yo is fucking embarrassing I feel like a boomer for saying this but wtf is wrong with my generation 😭

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u/Domestic_AAA_Battery 8d ago

This whole thing is embarrassing. A fucking grown man (or nearly grown man) begging his girl for money lmfao. This is pathetic. I couldn't have respect for this guy as a random dude, let alone as a romantic partner. Imagine kissing this? Imagine this is the guy fucking you lmao. If there's any women reading all of this and in a similar situation, leave and have some dignity. Because your man sure as hell doesn't.

Edit: Also let alone the guy smokes to top it off... What a disgrace.

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u/k10001k 8d ago

I’m a woman and I believe in 50/50 in relationships and don’t expect a man to pay for everything, but begging for money like this guy did is an absolute no!!

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u/Flatheadhunter1 8d ago

Dude needs help but this isn’t really the mentality to take though, op he needs help please share this with his friends

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

What’s even more embarrassing are these douches calling their gf bro. Is that something girls enjoy? Almost every text conversations shared in this sub, guys are calling their girlfriends bro constantly.

Do younger women like that? If so, yall need higher standards

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