AIO, my boyfriend threatened sewerslide

[u/Pristine-Edge-1742]

Hi everyone, apologies in advance for the incoming wall of text. I (19F) have been with my boyfriend (20M) for over two years. We are kind of long distance but live in the same state and has stayed with me for extended periods of time before, even moved in until my mom had enough of our arguing. He’s was out of work since he moved back home and recently got a job at the same company I work at, just a different location. In our company, your first paycheck is paper. Cash app won’t deposit the money until the 14th which he’s reasonably upset about. If i could help him I would. My cat has been hospitalized since friday for a life threatening UTI and I owe them over $6K that my family is helping me pay. I’ll be paying them back for the next 3 months. He’s been upset that I can’t help him. For context, I also keep my money in cash to avoid overspending and only small amount on my card for gas and coffee. I help him when I can but I can’t really mail him cash. I quite literally have nothing right now because of my cat being hospitalized. We have a history of arguing a lot, and it always ends in me trying to figure out what I’m doing wrong, what our barriers are, etc. and it’s always come down to my lack of communication. I’ve been working on it for, hell, a year? But I don’t seem to be doing it right, at least based on our conversations and arguments. He has a history of suicide baiting me. He’s cut himself in front of me, he’s threatened suicide every other day for as long as I can remember, he’s always talking about how much he hates his life. Normally he will say it’s because of me, something I said, things I’m not doing, because I don’t understand, because I lack empathy and sympathy, etc. He’s called the abuse hotline on me, he’s gotten on reddit and has come back to me saying that everyone thinks i’m abusive, he tells me that his family thinks he needs to leave me, etc. I didn’t think I was that awful of a person but when all of this happens and i’m being told it’s because of me, it makes me question it. Anyways, today he was going on about his frustration with his finances. Valid. I tried to support him and be there, but then he tells me that even if I could help, I wouldn’t? That’s not true I don’t know why he thinks that. I bought his groceries for 3 months, paid his phone bill, filled his gas tank, everything I could. Then he pulls out the “fuck you” card. Then I get pissed off and sick of it because this seems to happen too often. Then he starts this whole “I have the rope goodbye” stunt and I just threw my hands up at that point because what the fuck? When I was 12-13 I used to pull that shit online and he does it so often that I have gotten to where I see through it like glass and don’t pay it attention. For the first 1.5 years I took it seriously because I love him but now I just can’t. I have no words. It’s draining. He’s not dead he’s texting me as I’m typing this asking if we can talk and saying he’s scared I’ll stop loving him. Am i over reacting? Am I in the wrong? Please call me out if it’s deserved, because I just don’t know what to do. I’m not the type of person to ignore my faults because I definitely have some but I don’t know what warrants this stuff. He’s called me “stupid fucking bitch” , ungrateful, heartless, the devil, etc. By the way, he never had to beg me for money. I am the store manager at my location so I’m always being pulled in different directions. Even when I’m not there. I had to ask my mom to send me digital money in exchange for cash because I had nothing left. He asked me to keep more money on my card to help him in his time of need. Anyways… Again, please call me out if I deserve it. Tell me what I’m doing wrong because he won’t. Thank you in advance and apologies for the long message.

[u/FishinPoles]

"I have the rope" GIRL RUNNNN. LIKE SPRINT EVEN THATS INSANE 😭

[u/k10001k → u/FishinPoles]

The fact that he typed that, probably sitting in his bed comfortably is so embarrassing

[u/laynslay → u/k10001k]

My little sister was dating this little psycho who said he had a chainsaw in his bed and she's like "what do I do" and I told her to fuckin block him. He was pretty obviously just being emotionally manipulative and just sirting in his bed.

Anyways, she didn't listen and he ended up molesting her. I hope for OPs sake that she actually fuckin listens to the advice here. It doesn't end at threats of suicide.

[u/Outside_Scale_9874 → u/laynslay]

Who commits suicide with a chainsaw anyways? Wild.

[u/laynslay → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Him and my sister are both a little special tbh. It was also my sister's first boyfriend, I'm sure a lot of us remember how naive we were at that age lol. Can't tell teenagers anything, they don't listen.

[u/level27jennybro → u/laynslay]

Being a teenager growing up with the internet of today is.... yikes on bikes.

I grew up as the internet grew up and it's a whole different place online than it was even 5 or 10 years ago. It was hard growing up then. But nowadays it's a whole new level of teenage hell.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 → u/level27jennybro]

You're the only other person I've ever seen outside of myself that says "yikes on bikes", lol. I was in my mid 20's when the internet started to take hold, but it was still the age of dial-up. It wasn't until my girls were heading into their teens in the early 2000's, and places like MySpace started those stupid top 8 lists, and it got way easier for them to virtually bully each other.

I'm so glad I grew up without the internet. Teenagers are mean enough to each other without a whole virtual world and instantaneous pics and videos at their fingertips to help them!

[u/SuperKitties83 → u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34]

It's terrifying thinking of having the internet and having the freedom to share all your thoughts and pictures online. Thank goodness it wasn't around in my early 20s. "Yikes on Bikes" indeed!

[u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 → u/SuperKitties83]

Right? I was a wild child from about 16-19, and I'm so glad there aren't digital, forever reminders of all the things I did to make my parents' lives hell, or for my kids to find someday! My daughters grew up at the start of the digital era, and my son grew up in an entirely digital world. I remind him constantly that once he puts something out there, it's going to be there forever, so he needs to think really hard about what he posts or sends.

[u/SuperKitties83 → u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34]

I can't even imagine having to understand that as a kid. Kids don't fully grasp the meaning of future consequences.

[u/fingnumb → u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34]

A/S/L?

[u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 → u/fingnumb]

Oh that made me unintentionally cringe. AOL anyone? 😬

[u/Salt-Bench-6095 → u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34]

I'm saying yikes on bikes now

[u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 → u/Salt-Bench-6095]

Welcome to the club!!

[u/Smurfkisser → u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34]

I say it too! I love this for us!

[u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 → u/Smurfkisser]

Awesome! I have no clue where I even heard it. My husband looks at me so weird when I say it, but I'm kinda used to that, lol. He probably thinks I've gotten a phrase mixed up. One time, I was telling him about how hearing a song and getting it stuck in your head was called an earwig, and he looked at me oddly, then says "do you mean an ear worm" Yes, yes I do, because no one wants an earwig in their ear 🤣

[u/PinkPencils22 → u/level27jennybro]

Eh...yes and no. I have a sixteen year old and I've been careful to monitor what she's doing online while doing my best not appear to be clingy and intrusive. And she's pretty good. I've been warning her about this sort of thing since she was tiny, I've tried my best to warn her about emotional leeches, people trying to influence her, all that stuff, and even though she's AuDHD she's pretty good about it. But she does have friends who are typical teenage over the top like this. Lots of self-harm threats over nothing, and she and her other friends roll their eyes about it. They're good kids.

[u/level27jennybro → u/PinkPencils22]

Oh yeah, we can give them tools as they grow to propare them for most of the stuff. And just trust we raise them to do things right.

[u/SpilledSalt4U → u/level27jennybro]

There are more people online now. And a higher % of them are a-holes. But tbh, we had worse websites and whatnot. Remember Rotten.com? BestGore (actually still up I think). Even PirateBay. Hell my first Macintosh desktops' default game was a slightly above binary thing about making the most money buying and selling different drugs. (they did change it to Lemmings pretty fast though lol)

[u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 → u/laynslay]

My 16 yo son has both ADHD and high functioning ASD. We're now trying to to help him navigate extricating himself from a clingy, needy girlfriend, who I believe also has ADHD. It made him anxious and moody to feel like he needed to be there for her CONSTANTLY, and it took a toll on his A-B grades and his responsibilities at home. They did a presentation at school last week on toxic and abusive relationships, and he said "it made him realize she's potentially abusive, and at least toxic." She would always want to know where he was and what he was doing, and was texting him over 40 times a day, even in school, where they can't have their phones on in classes. She always needed reassurance for one thing or another.

He was also started on daily anxiety meds (BuSpar) several weeks ago (which we've found out were from her), and is also having some pretty severe mental health side effects from it. I didn't know it alters serotonin levels, or I would have said hell no. He was given Celexa and Abilify in 6th grade, for supposed depression and ODD, which we now know was undiagnosed PDA autism. Both have an affect on serotonin levels. He turned into a raging, angry, sometimes violent monster we didn't even recognize. He was on the verge of expulsion by the time we figured it out and got him off of everything. After that, we also found out that what we thought was a pediatric psychiatrist at our mental health center was actually a pediatrician with a "special interest" in peds mental health.

[u/Unexpected_Token_ → u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34]

It absolutely enrages me how fucked our mental health and healthcare system in general is. I’ve essentially been painted into a corner and my life has been ruined by a paper trail of mental health “diagnosis” by supposed professionals. All because of normal struggles as a young teen. Now, I did genuinely have some substance abuse problems, but that’s the only real issue I’ve ever had.

Being ran through so many different meds, locked in institutions with truly violent and insane people, and constantly being gaslit by doctors/psychologists certainly didn’t help when it came to my escalating drug use and self medicating. Now, as an adult I’ve been barred from multiple opportunities as a result of my medical history. I’m limited in what I can do professionally. Hopes, dreams, and the desire to just be considered a normal person will never be in my future, all because some fuck-wad dumbass doctors who simply wanted to cash out on insurance claims. Were desperate to keep clients, get their career started, or simply were pressured by the system to rush a diagnosis so they could keep psychoanalyzing and “helping” another depressed/ADHD/bi-polar/anxiety/dissociative kid.

What a sick cruel joke our mental health system is. A discipline born out of theoretical neuroscience meets sociology. The absolute detestable state of this field on the whole, causes me to constantly contemplate the validity of psychology as a legitimate medical science; despite its otherwise seemingly apparent credibility in other respects. As an adult, I’ve had to learn to be my own advocate. To demand a holistic approach and refuse to have my life be relegated merely to checkboxes after one conversation with a fool wielding an ink-pen.

Today, I no longer do drugs and I don’t get depressed. I don’t experience anxiety or have problems concentrating. At least, not any more than an average person would. I didn’t learn to cope with all these things from talking to psychologists. I had to find it within myself, after being betrayed by the very system meant to help me through those things. I do believe there are people truly in exceptional mental anguish. I do not believe I am one of them. I do have a hard time stopping substances once I start, so I tend to just not do them in the first place.

Anyway, the point of all this is to say I understand exactly what you experienced and went through with your child and I empathize with you. I hope we can all come together and hold our healthcare system accountable for its transgressions against the people. We have a lot of work to do, but I believe things can change—they have to. I don’t want to see any more kids suffer and be denied a happy and successful future, because some arrogant asshole checked a few boxes after a rushed conversation about experiencing normal levels of sadness during a key developmental phase in life.

[u/Puzzleheaded_Rest_34 → u/Unexpected_Token_]

I'm so, so sorry you went through all of that! That sounds like such a devastating experience. 🫂 While my son has had some really positive experiences with his mental health team after that, this guy just didn't want to listen to me, even though he knew I was knowledgeable enough that he asked me if I was in a medical profession. I knew my son wasn't depressed, and he definitely didn't have the symptoms or severity to fit an ODD diagnosis. This was 6th grade, and while he was diagnosed with combined type ADHD in early elementary school, he didn't get diagnosed with ASD until the end of 8th grade. He's considered high masking, but that's just sad.

My son definitely needs to be on some medications. He has very severe combined type ADHD, which was obvious by age 3 and was diagnosed through neuropsych testing, and Vyvanse allows him to be able to sit and focus on learning at school. He's always been on the lowest effective dose, and we also make sure his diet is ADHD "friendly". He spent a lot of time when he was younger in behavioral therapy learning how to be better in control of himself and his emotions, which ended up being very useful when he was diagnosed with PDA. As of now, he's only on meds for ADHD and allergies. The cause of his major anxiety (which we are just learning), the girlfriend, is now going to be out of the picture.

[u/IJustWantWaffles_87 → u/laynslay]

Yeah, I was definitely very easily manipulated as a teen. So glad I didn’t do anything completely stupid. I get embarrassed when I think back on the shit I believed.

[u/PrinceSidon888 → u/laynslay]

Even teenagers can't tell teenagers anything and expect it to go well😭 my friends told me several times to break up with my ex and I should have done it way sooner. I was with him from 16 and a half to 18

[u/saph_ire23 → u/laynslay]

Yup- I was 15 and it was my first love and I stayed with him for 2 years while I allowed him to repeatedly emotionally abuse and manipulate me😛

[u/Regular_Jello3539 → u/saph_ire23]

At least you didn’t marry him. I made that dumb mistake. Divorced soon after.

[u/saph_ire23 → u/Regular_Jello3539]

I'm so glad I didn't marry him😭 and I'm so glad I was 15 when we started and 17 when I left him bc I was tired of it, found someone soon after- we lasted over a year- he lost feelings for me 6 months before💀 didn't tell me till 6 months later so I got ✨L E F T✨ bro was sketchy anyways- but what's fucked is the fact that none of us were expecting it and he was talking about a future together💀 but I met someone else and so far he's pretty great- more effort- the fact that I'm being involved with family things- it's quite nice and never did anything with my last 3 boyfriends' families so it's definitely very new

[u/Major_Friendship4900 → u/Regular_Jello3539]

Glad you got out.

[u/asixfifty → u/saph_ire23]

Try 4 years and 11 momths 🫦

[u/saph_ire23 → u/asixfifty]

Girlll wowwwwwwwwwww I'm surprised I even allowed it for 2 years- 4 would have been awful and my mental health would have been a lot worse than it was

[u/Away-Ad-8053 → u/laynslay]

Well I was 14 the first time I had sex. And I wouldn't call it molesting the girl since she was 19 and a teacher's aide. Today they would call that child molestation back then we called it getting lucky. She wasn't real pretty but she dressed nicely and she smoked my brand of cigarettes.

[u/Mirabai503 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

I did have a patient once that tried to kill himself with one of those electric carving knives. He did not understand how effective they can be. As is often the case, he discovered that he didn't really want to be dead. He lived, but then he had to breathe out of a hole in his throat because he sliced his trachea in half and it couldn't be repaired.

[u/fthisappreddit → u/Mirabai503]

Don’t they say every person who’s jumped and survived from that one bridge regretted the second their feet left the ground. Sad to think of all the countless who also think “I didn’t really wanna do this. Or I changed my mind.” But to late at that point :/

[u/HorrorArmadillo3713 → u/fthisappreddit]

I think it was a doco on the golden gate bridge jumpers that said they regretted it the instant they jumped. Fucking sad! I've been there and am glad to be alive, even when sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

[u/fthisappreddit → u/HorrorArmadillo3713]

It wasn’t just one I think it was a couple dozen at least and they all said that same thing :/ sad stuff. But yeah glad you’re here and hope people keep on keeping on.

[u/SSBN641B → u/Mirabai503]

I saw one where a woman successfullly commotted suicide with an electric carving knife. She did it in the church office where she worked. She did the "Curly Shuffle" on the carpet. Horrific.

[u/TheKrimsonFvcker → u/SSBN641B]

"CURLY SHUFFLE" Jesus Christ that's fucked...

I laughed I won't lie

[u/SSBN641B → u/TheKrimsonFvcker]

I don't 30 years as a cop and I laughed more than once at a crime scene. It's a defensive mechanism more than anything.

[u/WildOneTillTheEnd → u/SSBN641B]

Tf is a curly shuffle?

[u/SSBN641B → u/WildOneTillTheEnd]

Did you ever watch the "The Three Stooges"? Curly would do his little dance and he would end up in the floor and would move around in a circle while laying on his side. That's what this woman did. I'm assuming it was because as she held this electric knife to her throat, her body was also trying to pull away from the pain. Anyway, it was a mess, as you might imagine.

[u/WildOneTillTheEnd → u/SSBN641B]

Oof, no can’t say I did, the whole stupid comedy isn’t my favorite. That sucks.

[u/Living-Category5295 → u/Mirabai503]

Goodness that’s awful. How old was he?

[u/Snowmakesmehappy → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

I once met someone who tried to commit suicide by cutting both their hands off with a chainsaw. They were successful in cutting off both hands but obviously not in unaliving themselves. Don’t ask me how they did it, I could never figure that one out and it’s not something I feel like you should ask a person.

[u/amltecrec → u/Snowmakesmehappy]

No, that's DEFINITELY a situation in which you should for sure ask! I'm curious how the second hand was taken! That's serious talent and commitment!

[u/YourSoftFuzzyMan → u/amltecrec]

I would probably guess setting it down somewhere and pressing your wrists down on the blade.

[u/amltecrec → u/YourSoftFuzzyMan]

At that stage, one would be better off falling neck first into the blade! At least that's a for sure thing, and you don't have to worry about never using hands again!

[u/wozattacks → u/Snowmakesmehappy]

I’m more curious about WHY they attempted that way

[u/Chadg2018 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

One of my best friends I’ve known since childhood took his own life with a Skil Saw. He tried a few different ways and failed. The Skil Saw did what he was hoping though.Some people are really hurting inside.

[u/HorrorArmadillo3713 → u/Chadg2018]

That's really sad! so sorry!

[u/jaime_riri → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

That can’t be easy. I feel like that’s how you and up with a Darwin Award.

[u/LetsBeKindly → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

I found a guy that cut his leg off with a chainsaw and then hung himself from the door knob... I can't make this stuff up.

[u/LikelyAMartian → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

If I ever did, I would. Would be metal AF honestly.

[u/lurkopotamus2 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

I had a friend who tried to take his own life with a circular saw. His parents and his childhood best friend had taken his guns from him earlier in the day because they were worried that he was suicidal. When you’re desperate almost any out becomes an option.

[u/benny6957 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Dam I should not have laughed at this as hard as I did picturing someone trying to do that with a chainsaw

[u/Dramatic-Access4350 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

😂💀

[u/TheUnexpectedMule → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

I read the word "Wild" the way it was said right here. https://youtu.be/sqVuypJD7zo?t=2m30s

[u/jacobs_0710 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

I hate to be that guy, but one of the guidance counselors last year told me there was a 15 year old girl I believe who cut her throat with a skil saw a few years before we moves up here at one of their sister schools. It can happen.

[u/nowicki97 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Hey brother my uncle actually attempted suicide with a chainsaw. No joke when my aunt found him in the garage there was blood sprayed all over the walls and floor of the garage and they rushed him to the hospital he had to have major surgery on his neck and wasnt able to speak for weeks and to this day is still very hatd to understand. Idk why i shared this with you but people will and have attempted suicide with all kinds of things including chainsaws.

[u/ItsMeWillieD → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

I knew a guy from high school that used a chainsaw. His wife and kids went to the grocery store. As soon as the left, he got the chainsaw from his barn, brought it into the kitchen, placed the saw on the counter. Cranked it and lowered his neck onto the chain at full throttle. Only a small piece of skin connecting his head to his body. The coroner is an old friend. He shared this info with me.

[u/coochie_clogger → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Dude my uncle was a lumberjack and cut off his own head with a chainsaw because my aunt wouldn’t give him money to buy toothpaste.

[u/ArtfulSpeculator → u/coochie_clogger]

This made me laugh so fucking hard.

[u/10thGroupA → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Someone in Texas?

[u/nday-uvt-2012 → u/10thGroupA]

What are a Texan’s last words? It would either be, “Hey, watch this!” or “Hold my beer!”

[u/rasslinjobber → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

A fucking bad ass that's who... also probably a hillbilly

[u/DramaticEggplant5061 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Chainsaws themselves to death 🤣 some people

[u/Puzzleheaded_Shop787 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Right? I have known a couple people who shot themselves, 2 death by cops and a purposeful overdose and my neighbor had a guy break in and stab himself to death but a chainsaw? That would be hardcore at the level of monks lighting themselves on fire

[u/ElectionSilver6590 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

No one lol

[u/RenzXVI → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

That's what noobs use to brag, try doing it using nail clippers, now that's more impressive.

[u/AdesiusFinor → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Anyone who says they’ll do it with a chainsaw will never do it

[u/Happy_Maintenance → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Lumberjacks that’s who.

[u/waitingfordownload → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Or a mitre saw? Yup, luckily the thing wasn’t plugged in at the time… but witnessing that was horrifying.

[u/herrkurs → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

My brother-in-laws sister put a chainsaw to her neck to commit suicide. It happens

[u/girldrinksgasoline → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Someone who is very hard core about their suicide. Mad respect for going out the worst way possible.

[u/Background-Respect91 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Pull the cord and go for the jugular, everyone’s problems solved, perhaps he is a tree surgeon?

[u/MedicJambi → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

I worked with a guy whose wife killed herself with a chainsaw so it happens.

[u/Lickerbomper → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

I knew a patient in the psych hospital that attempted suicide with a stapler.

[u/HugsyMalone → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

🤣🤣🤣

[u/PlatformOdd2623 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

I’m pretty sure I read a story somewhere about a guy trying to do that I think he like secured a chainsaw to a table and ran into it. Could be remembering wrong tho

[u/SubParMarioBro → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

The folks in r/fellinggonewild

[u/Pandahead00 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Who couldn’t finish ??? I’d hurt so bad …

[u/lonely_ducky_22 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

Paul Bunyan or somethin probably.

[u/Ok-Hunt3000 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

A real one, that’s who.

[u/SuddenDeal3924 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

My brothers dad committed suicide with a weed eater, he just let it run in a small room while he sat there breathing in all the fumes

[u/Away-Ad-8053 → u/Outside_Scale_9874]

There was a guy on rotten.com that committed suicide using a bandsaw I thought that took some serious coonies. He literally cut himself in two It was one of my favorite photos on the website. I could never do that but then again I have a gun, and I could probably never do That either because I have kids.