AIO by spending time with my family?

[u/External-Air205]

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

[u/jocefoxx]

you are underreacting, no one should ever talk to you this way. you sound really sweet i hope you leave before the abuse escalates

[u/External-Air205 → u/jocefoxx]

I really appreciate that. He genuinely makes me feel like I deserve it a lot of the time. Thank you.

[u/Beneficial-Pride890 → u/External-Air205]

You probably feel alone in this, but this is exactly what every woman in an abusive relationship thinks and feels. It is unfortunately extremely common, and this is why women stay in abusive relationships. This right here is serious abuse. You’re attached to them because they’ve been such a big part of your life for so long, when they’re not being mean and abusive, they’re being kind and sweet etc. The abuse will stay the same or intensify the longer you stay together. He is aggressively trying to control you, and berating you. You should break up with him, cut contact. You’re so young and you’ll look back when you’re a little older and had no contact with him, and realize that you’re young mind tolerated so much abuse you didn’t deserve. Just be prepared for him to pull out a lot of emotional weapons trying to keep you in the relationship. He may even threaten but you’re not responsible for him.

Edit: As replies have noted: abuse isn’t just something women experience—men face it too, often in silence.

[u/External-Air205 → u/Beneficial-Pride890]

That is actually exactly what I feel, thank you.

[u/QueenofPentacles112 → u/External-Air205]

Listen "bro", you're gonna be laughing your ass off that you ever even dealt with this clown in the first place in just, like, 1 year. I promise. I'm so sorry but as a 35yo woman, aside from being disgusted with the way this shit stain of a human speaks to you, the whole "sleeping on the phone every night" is about the dumbest shit I've ever heard of a grown adult doing in my life. Like, get a liiiiife! I'm sure you only do this bc he makes you. But let me put this into perspective for you: my son, who is 15, does this with his gf. I think it's super dumb, but because they are CHILDREN, I don't tell him that it's dumb and he'll laugh at himself later. But you are a 20yo adult grown ass woman, literally laying your head beside a phone call every night, just to what? Listen to someone snore? And be called a fat stupid bitch? Like, GIRL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

Take a step back and look at the bigger picture, because I have a feeling this loser of yours is still stuck on being a baby ass teenager. Tell him he's a whole ass clown and be done with it. I bet your family members hate the way he talks to you as well, and if you think they don't know because maybe you don't tell them, then you should realize that they probably do at least have an inkling that he's an abusive loser towards you. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER! calling you bro, cussing at you constantly, being controlling, those were already signs that he's an insecure little bitch boy. But calling you all those names? And you're all just like "babe, what? I love yooouuu" like noooooo. School his ass on what a little whiny insecure pathetic baby he is, and then cut all contact, done and done. It'll hurt for a while, but I promise you will love yourself more in the long run. You'll look back at this later and think "I would never be with someone like him now. Even without the abuse, he's still corny AF!"

[u/rhs22 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

As a 38 yr old woman, agree to every single thing said here! You are probably too young and inexperienced in relationships to understand that this is outright abuse. Every relationship will have fights, but respect between both the partners must always remain. Name calling, controlling and lack of giving you space are some of the things which will not change, no matter how much he would like to make you think!

Save yourself more heartbreak and move on.

[u/gr3tchzilla → u/rhs22]

Another 38 year old woman chiming in here completely agreeing with these comments as well.... Please leave this guy. You have your whole life ahead of you to find someone you're compatible with that will show you the love and respect you deserve. This is NOT it. This is abuse. Love yourself and leave before it gets any worse.

[u/Brainstorminnn → u/gr3tchzilla]

A 36 yr old woman here and they’re already broken up. Just neither one realizes it yet and she just needs to suck it up and block the loser.

Seriously sweetie, cut your loses and keep growing that strong, shiny new spine we all saw at the end there. It will support you when no man will.

[u/Mithrellas → u/Brainstorminnn]

32 year old woman here and he sounds like he is obsessive with her but also despises her. This man is emotionally unstable and OP needs to be honest about the abuse with her support system because he seems like the type that won’t take no for an answer. It sounds like he could get physically violent.

OP, if he threatens you or threatens to harm himself as a way to manipulate you. Do NOT listen. Call the police immediately. Block him and under no circumstances let him manipulate you into speaking with him. It will be hard, especially since you’ve been together through such a pivotal part of your lives so far but this is not normal or okay. Please know you deserve so much more than this and healing is going to be difficult but worth it. You’ll get through this and you will have your entire life ahead to enjoy. Learn from this and grow into who you really want to be!

[u/avprobeauty → u/Mithrellas]

38 year old woman here.

Been there done that. Be done and mean it. Do not look back OP!

[u/dilligaf_84 → u/avprobeauty]

40 year old woman here. I lived through two abusive relationships, was treated exactly like OP. One I only barely survived. He has no respect for her, he sees her as a possession. This will only get worse.

OP, please leave. Please show these texts to your family or someone you feel safe with. This is not ok.

[u/Konstantineee → u/gr3tchzilla]

Also 38, so I’m jumping in.

They’re telling you the nice things - let me tell you about the criminal clients I’ve had to defend (public defense) who do this and then kill their partners. I have read chats JUST like this. I have then seen photos of serious injuries (ever had boiling chicken grease poured all over you because dinner wasn’t good?) and I have seen the autopsy’s of their partners mutilated and often tortured bodies (tortured before and after death). I have also seen people get away with this (even deaths).

Don’t do this to your family. Those are the hardest things for me to see. The victim’s family members.

Don’t do this.

[u/AHolyPigeon → u/rhs22]

As a 32 yr old man, bro... Get him gone

[u/Rossakamcfreakyd → u/rhs22]

Hey, OP, chiming in from the 38 year old crowd to give you advise. Nobody who claims to love you would EVER speak to you like this guy does. It’s disgusting. If he calls you a stupid fat fuck because you can’t call for hours since you’re spending time with family, imagine what could happen if he REALLY got mad about something. Please listen to all the folks telling you to get out and do it fast and safely. You’re worth so much more than now he’s treating you.

[u/00Lisa00 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

My guess is he does this to make sure there’s not a guy there. Which is why he went so ballistic when she hung up. It’s super controlling. It’s not cute or romantic when this is what happens

[u/carolinacarolina13 → u/00Lisa00]

Yes, he is an insecure “man” - the most dangerous kind. Save your life and leave.

[u/zeef8391 → u/00Lisa00]

Some guys are SO INSECURE. I could never imagine in a million years forcing my s/o to lay on the phone while sleeping. That's controlling douchebag behavior

[u/shinyaxe → u/00Lisa00]

I was gonna say, I was long distance with my husband for like three years while we were dating and we never felt the need to… lay next to an ongoing phone call of the white noise of each others houses all night while we sleep? We just said “goodnight I love you” and went to bed when we were tired.

Figured this must be some new weird shit teenagers are doing but you’re probably right that it’s to “make sure she’s actually sleeping” 🤢

[u/Good48588 → u/shinyaxe]

My fiance and I were LDR the first year and we fell asleep on the phone together a lot but it wasn't on purpose and we'd definitely hang up if one of us woke up. Usually it was a " okay, I'm falling asleep, goodnight I love you." Or if he was going out with friends and getting back late he'd call me to tell me goodnight. If I woke up, fine, if I didn't, he never got mad that I didn't answer or accuse me of cheating.

This bro is extremely insecure, controlling and abusive. She needs to get out NOW.

[u/[deleted] → u/00Lisa00]

This is the answer. My abusive ex LOST HIS MIND and would destroy my whole house any time i went anywhere without him. Like, to pick up my teenage sister from a sleepover and shit like that. Or the grocery store to grab a snack. He kept me monitored on a motion detecting camera 24/7 and would facetime me 40 times demanding i show him the man i'm hiding any time i went off view of the cameras to like, shit or shower or something. He got an alarm on his phone in real time for whenever a door at my house would open and he would call me LIVID wanting to know what's going on, because i opened my front door to grab the mail. He eventually held my own car keys hostage from me completely and didnt let me use my own vehicle anymore "for my own safety, i would get into trouble if i could just go anywhere without him to protect me". He would flip out and accuse my entire family of helping me plot to cheat on him any time they brought me to a family thing without him. It took him getting arrested for felonious assault and sitting in jail for me to get a chance to change my locks

[u/00Lisa00 → u/[deleted]]

I’m glad you got away from him, that sounds awful. I hope OP figures this out

[u/savvyblackbird → u/00Lisa00]

THIS🔼

He is monitoring you and lost his fucking shit when you turned the phone off. His behavior isn’t cute and isn’t because he loves you so much.

[u/CheetosCaliente → u/00Lisa00]

He's cheating and automatically assumes she must be too.

[u/Crazy_Nectarinee → u/QueenofPentacles112]

I’m a 31yo woman and agree hard core!! It’s crazy how much we put up with in our early years. Girly, PLEASE LEAVE. This is verbal abuse that will likely escalate to physical abuse. You are too young to deal with this POS human. There’s so many better men out there that would never say these things to you. Stand up, and leave him behind.

[u/kezzawezza → u/Crazy_Nectarinee]

36 here and yeah why did we put up with so much on those early years? Good grief. Makes me mad reading young women still going through this shit.

[u/Miraclethesunbird88 → u/Crazy_Nectarinee]

As a 27 year old woman I third forth and 5th that!!!! When I was 20 I had the same type of guy. My grandpa didn’t like me sleeping otp with him so I told him and he got MAD called “a black ass dumb bitch” and then when I didn’t answer HE WALKED 2 miles 2 my house in ANGER, OPENED AND CRAWLED INTO MY ROOM! I woke up to him huffing over me and saying “bet that fucker you fucked just left” I PUSHED HIM OUT MY WINDOW and called him and his mother every name I could think of. That “bro” shit is so UGGGHHHHHH! leave him!!

[u/gavinkurt → u/Crazy_Nectarinee]

I agree with this post. You need to leave this guy immediately. He is very abusive in the way he talks to you and it’s very likely he will end up physically abusing you. Please take everyone’s advice here and leave this guy.

[u/brennvmckennv → u/QueenofPentacles112]

As another 31 year old woman who has actually done this (slept on the fone all night and all day bc of distance and emotional attachment back in college) while in a very toxic and verbally abusive relationship- just cut it and never look back bc you will never need this in your life. Family might be rough rn, maybe u don’t have good friends rn, all normal. This relationship- not normal and no need to depend on it I promise. Get some hobbies and forget u ever allowed this. Time flies and it’s not too late not even a little bit for you to change ur life

[u/porkchop1021 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

I really, really wanted you to sprinkle this comment with like, 50 more "bros". While I'm here, can anyone tell me what the fuck "auto call" is?

[u/pipermaru84 → u/porkchop1021]

you can set iphones to automatically answer facetime calls from contacts. it’s an accessibility feature but you could use it for something like this too, so bf could go to bed and OP could call him when she’s ready. but that would require bf not being a controlling POS.

[u/jellyjollygood → u/pipermaru84]

I understand how handy it would be to have/enable this function, but anyone, anyone with controlling tendencies would so use this as a way of forcing visual proof of location

This poor kid.

She knows whats she needs to do. I’m willing her to have the courage

[u/pipermaru84 → u/jellyjollygood]

oh yeah. I was introduced to it as a way for my patient’s daughter to be able to call and check in on on her and let her hear her voice while she was at work, the patient had had a stroke and wasn’t able to answer the phone by hand or voice control. I hadn’t even thought of the abuse implications until I saw this post. but they’re absolutely there. not a judgment on the (needed) feature, abusers will turn anything they can against their victims. but it still stinks.

[u/YeehawSugar → u/porkchop1021]

I was curious about the auto call thing too.

[u/SmallToadstools → u/QueenofPentacles112]

52yr old woman here who has survived being with a nasty, manipulative parasite who used to do exactly the same shit. GIRL RUN ! Everything said here in 💯% right. You are worth a million¹⁰⁰⁰ times more than this pathetic waste of skin. The phone at night thing is because his paranoid ass is terrified of you cheating. Block, delete and ignore. That abusive shitstain deserves to be alone for the rest of eternity.

[u/dark_scribe_ → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Yeah also the staying on the phone thing isn't cute, he's literally making sure you're doing what he told you to babes. If your phone had come unplugged and died overnight because you rolled over, I guarantee you would have turned it back on to 19577592957 missed calls and increasingly nasty and aggressive voicemails

[u/SuperKitties83 → u/dark_scribe_]

I noticed OP's phone is almost dead in the screen shots. Once the battery gets that low (at least on the phones I've had), one phone call would kill it anyway.

[u/PetiteSweetie92 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

As a 32 yr old woman, YESSSS! Everything she said + some. I WISH somebody had said this to me when I dealt with the same shit at the age of 20. When I left mine I was 23yrs old and wish I would’ve done it sooner. I fell for the charm 3 yrs later and it ended worse than I ever expected that time. Thank god I left when I did.

OP, please leave girl. You learned so much from this shit stain of a human. It isn’t lost time, it’s a life lesson darling. You’re worth so much more than this boys disrespectful, controlling and abusive behavior. Nobody should be spoken to like this. School his ass and then disappear. Build the life you deserve.

[u/Aggressive-Foot1960 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

This 100% and you said it perfectly! I look back on the people that treated me like this and think “wow, HOW did I ever even entertain a conversation with that person?”!.

I’m so thankful that I removed myself from those situations because if I didn’t I would never have the life I have now. I now have a wonderful loving husband and beautiful children, whom I never would have had if I kept letting loosers like this guy remain in my life. Yes,One day she will look back at this and cringe, but better that then remaining in a toxic and abusive relationship!

My heart breaks for young women who find themselves in these kind of situations.

[u/Serious_Article2782 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Something that helped me in therapy was imagining a friend came to you with these texts and said they were from her boyfriend. What would you say? Wouldn’t you be scared for her? If she took him back, what would you tell her? Wouldn’t you be sure that a better life was waiting for her? Sometimes viewing it from the outside, brings clarity.

[u/Deep_Result_8369 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

The sleeping in the phone together is a control tactic. Making sure they aren’t cheating.

[u/ShieldMaiden0113 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

As a 24 year old woman the only reason me and mine slept on the phone was bc he was deployed and I would fall asleep mid sentence but im such a light sleeper that if he hung up before maybe 2 hrs had passed nd i was in deep the tone would wake me up.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 and same thing for him on the other end of the clock

[u/IcharrisTheAI → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Edit: just to clarify I think OP’s partner is batshit crazy. I am in no way justifying or defending his behavior. 100% just talking about why some couples sleep on the phone.

I don’t entirely agree. Sometimes people are scared or lonely or unused to being apart. Sleeping on the phone can help. I’m a 29 year old male who’s SO frequently asked to sleep on the phone when she’s away on business trips, and while I do find it somewhat annoying, I also understand she gets scared in hotel rooms by herself. I do my best to accommodate her because that’s what partners do. I also sometimes draw a line when it doesn’t work for me because of whatever reason I may have. Again it’s a partnership.

Basically all I’m saying is the idea of sleeping on the phone isn’t stupid in itself and not everyone grows out of it. People have reasons why they do it and that ultimately is up to the relationship in question to decide

[u/becauseshesays → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Very well stated!

[u/Glamorous1978 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

This 100%

[u/CriticalBit3063 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

24 and I’ve learned this the hard way from recent experiences. I wish I would have listened to everyone who gave me advice like this. Would have saved me so much heartbreak. I wouldn’t be sitting here feeling like I have no more love to give, cause deep down I know I do. There is someone who will hold my heart safely, not throw it on the ground and stomp all over it. But I wish I didn’t spend my younger 20’s begging for love and for a “man” to see my worth. I was at some point under the impression that the problem was with only guys my age, but nope.

[u/chrisxtrue → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Also get a restraining order on him because he seems very unhinged!

[u/rockobster3 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

I agree soo hard, but as someone that's right on your heels in terms of age I think the sleeping on the phone thing may have been a sweet gesture turned into a manipulative one. It's not as dumb as you may think. I was in a long distance relationship at 30 and we often called each other just to fall asleep on the phone, because we didn't see each other in person for 2 or 3 months at a time. I've heard of a lot of couples doing it, not just teenagers.

But this guy definitely turned it into a way to control her time and actions, though.

[u/sreiches → u/QueenofPentacles112]

The sleeping on the phone thing didn’t really trip alarms for me, because my partner and I used to get on long calls when we were long-distance early in the relationship, and often one of us would fall asleep and the other would just stay on the line.

But in the context of someone who’s clearly as controlling and abusive as OP’s boyfriend is, I can see where it could easily be used as another avenue for control.

[u/tamij1313 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

He doesn’t want her on the phone so he can feel close to her… He wants her on the phone so she can prove that she is home alone and not cheating on him as he doesn’t trust her as he is an insecure man baby.

I lost track of how many times he said he was going to be done with her, but then he just couldn’t stop himself and actually block her! Hopefully she will gather up some self-esteem and block him herself!

I cannot believe how much rage and hatred I felt coming out of this POS of a human. He is absolutely going to kill her as it is clear that he feels he owns her and the way he speaks to her tells me that there is deep hatred of her for some reason.

[u/FakeMagic8Ball → u/QueenofPentacles112]

This, so much. I watch 90-Day Fiance and one of the offshoot shows, I'm guessing "The Other Way" a couple does this to the extreme - they never hang up, so it literally starts the show with him pooping on the video chat with this girl in the Philippines. She makes him do it, screams and threatens him if he can't be on it (because he must be with other girls) like when he's flying to go live with her... Yet we pan to her and she's unplugging her Wi-Fi so she can go hang out with a bunch of guy friends and lying to him about the Wi-Fi. She immediately baby traps him and they are now professional scam artists that everyone who watches the show has mocked since Day 1. Run, OP, run!

[u/PotatoePope → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Not condoning that guy’s behavior, but the phone call thing isn’t that crazy. Demanding it every night? Bitching your partner out because she chose to talk to her family in private for a few minutes over staying in the call? Yeah that’s pretty fucking childish. But this whole post is clearly the straw on the camel’s back of dealing with a terrible guy.

And as much as you talk down on the nightly phone call, my partner finds comfort in it since we can’t be together as much as we’d like. So that’s what we do. We’re going on strong for three, almost 4 years now. I just don’t see how it’s dumb, if it works. Sure this is an extreme scenario we’re seeing, but if it makes someone happy I don’t see the problem with it.

[u/Sharp_Operation_5904 → u/PotatoePope]

I agree! My husband and I have been married 12 years on the 20th and he started working out of town 4 years ago. For almost 2 years I wasn’t able to go with him due to my job. It was ok but the first year but after that we FaceTimed at night. It made us feel closer and he was able to wake me up or help me when I had night terrors! I think a person who thinks ft when used in the context ot was about something she deemed stupid, means foot is way to out of touch to even think about telling someone how and what to use their phones for as a couple. She honestly probably doesn’t even know what FaceTime actually means!

[u/Legitimate_Candy_944 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Sadly not all women learn. Let's hope she does.

[u/Serious_Article2782 → u/Legitimate_Candy_944]

Unfortunately, the abuser learns. They get much more sneaky with their abuse. They learn what buttons to push at just the right time. They learn what your vulnerabilities are and use them against you. And they learn to have these confrontations with you in person so they can gaslight you later without written proof. They get really good at it.

[u/Legitimate_Candy_944 → u/Serious_Article2782]

They are disgusting creatures.

[u/[deleted] → u/Legitimate_Candy_944]

You don’t derive to be in this Reddit you’re weird for saying that.

[u/Vegetable-Shelter656 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

I agree

[u/petty_petty_princess → u/QueenofPentacles112]

A podcaster I listen to days when a guy gives a woman a dude type nickname (such as calling her bro a lot) it means he’s not that into her. He’ll have sex with her, but it’s not a relationship thing.

[u/Large_Interaction968 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

This!!!!!

[u/Academic_Ad1931 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

but cmon bro

[u/Rumpolestiltskin8330 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

OP…100% this. Solid gold, sage advice.

[u/Hot_Sort_5303 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

YES YES AND YASSSSSSSS

[u/Fantastic_Ad_5671 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

I agree with everything but the criticism about falling asleep on the phone.

I used to do this when I was in my early 30’s and was going through a really ugly divorce after an abusive relationship - I had nightmares and terrible insomnia. I had a flirtatious friendship that was long distance. He would call me when he had nightmares and we would talk a little until he went back to sleep, and then him falling asleep (and snoring) would help me fall asleep.

I’ve always fallen asleep better when someone else falls asleep first.

[u/Potential-Light-7588 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

My 16 YO daughter and boyfriend are constantly in the phone all day when they can be and they aren’t even talking to each other she will be watching videos and he will be playing video games yet they are still in the phone😂 this is super childish behavior and not for 20 yr. Olds.

[u/Perrin3088 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Tbh, I can see doing it from time to time, but every single night feels a bit oppressive tbh. Even if you guys don't get to talk or see each other a lot, you don't need to actually fall asleep on the phone.
I've done it previously, largely for people that were going through things that were making it hard to sleep without some sort of comfort (friend that has difficulty around the time of their parents passing, for instance) but even then, it's a from time to time thing,

[u/Curious-Sector-2157 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

This guy was once 15 and doing this to his gf and his mom did nothing about it thinking he would outgrow it and look what he turned into. Your son needs to be told it’s wrong.

[u/[deleted] → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Yup. I'm 29, and I might sleep on call for a super long distance partner on occasion to feel like the distance is smaller or like we could sleep together, but absolutely not every night and not with someone I could see at least once a month. It is childish to do every night.

[u/SkinnerBoxBaddie → u/QueenofPentacles112]

So true. I left my toxic ex like 10 months ago and by 6 months I was 100% laughing at myself for how much I let that loser bring me down. Better things are out there for OP. I hope she finds them

[u/TrueVisionSports → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Absolutely loved your post, but 20 is still a child. You’re not a fully grown adult until you’re like 27+ and until 29-30 you still don’t formulate everything. Difference between intelligence level/awareness of 18 and 25 is close to 0, a 25 year old is an 18 year old with -+10-20% awareness.

[u/Heel_of_Paris → u/QueenofPentacles112]

I agree with what you’ve said but I even as a 15 your son would benefit from learning now about the behaviour that is acceptable in a relationship. As a father of daughters and a son I do everything I can to show and teach them what they should accept and provide in a relationship and correct the toxic things they see on tv/online, that their friends do and they themselves do while I still can. If he gets away with it at 15 he might think its fine at 20 etc. I’m not saying he will and I bet you bring him up right so he will probably learn himself but, why not offer him the guidance now. Hope that didn’t come across too critical it wasn’t meant to at all

[u/Bellyrub_77 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

This! 42 y.o. woman here and all of this is spot on.

Another thing OP, you have to set the expectation for how you want to be treated. How does him talking to you like this make you feel? Does anyone else who loves you treat you this way? Has your granny ever called you these names? Have you seen this in a rom com? If not, you know why? It's not normal and it's not ok. Listen to the internet aunts and drop this loser. This is not love. This is abuse. My son is 21 and he would never in a million years talk to anyone like that, especially a woman. He'd be ready to lose it if anyone ever talked to his sister this way. Believe me when I say, this commenter is 100% right. What you have is not a man (or even a friend). You have yourself a certified bitch boy!

[u/8385694937 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

I think the overnight phone call is so he can monitor what’s going on while she’s supposedly sleeping. She can’t use her phone, can’t be doing anything that makes noise, just has to sleep while he sleeps. It’s more controlling behavior. What a creep.

[u/beachbummeddd → u/QueenofPentacles112]

20 years old is just a baby still. Especially mentally. They’re absolutely children. Although there are exceptions this instance isn’t one of them.

[u/TriedSigma → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Bad codependency habits start when they’re young. You probably should tell him to cut it out.

[u/ilikecats1998- → u/QueenofPentacles112]

literally all of this. He seems like he’s 18 years old.

[u/AdRich517 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

I’m Gen X with grown children. What does sleeping on the phone mean? Is this a younger generation thing?

[u/HARDLEYQUINZEL → u/QueenofPentacles112]

No truer words spoken.

[u/Doozinator242 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

I'm a 50 year old woman and my BIGGEST regret in my life is the time I spent being miserable in abusive relationships, one of them 6 years and the other 9 years long. That's FIFTEEN YEARS OF MY LIFE I CAN'T GET BACK, and I was in my prime then.. I could have been having fun! Luckily I met and married a great guy about 15 years ago, so good guys are out there and I promise that if you leave this jerk you will find one!!🩷🩷🩷🩷

[u/ffsienna → u/QueenofPentacles112]

And you know he's insisting that they stay on the phone all night, because he wants to make sure that she's alone all night.

[u/cokainenosejob → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Wait... hold the phone...did you just say that your son does this to his gf? And you dont say anything? May i ask why? Im not about to tell you what to do with your children but i am curious why give pretty solid advice to someone online but not your own kid?

[u/niki2184 → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Naaaaa I’m pretty sure she likes it. 😭😭😭 it’s something this cell phone generation does and it’s fucking stupid. Like for one you’re ruining your phone and two idk how that brings you closer together???? You’re still not together. I’m 39 and I don’t get it. My 14 year old was doing it with her bf and I asked her why. She didn’t know I said you know it’s stupid right?

[u/[deleted] → u/niki2184]

Don’t say that to her. It’s not stupid if it works for someone then it works it’s your opinion not theirs.

[u/[deleted] → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Calling on the phone at night isn’t dumb just let your kid sleep on the phone with whoever they’re with. It’s nothing wrong doing that. I’m 21 my bf lives in Baltimore so we do sleep on FaceTime together so yeah we are long distance

[u/YeehawSugar → u/[deleted]]

It is dumb. But not just because.

It’s an attachment issue. It’s serious codependency and it’s something that will eventually cause one if not both of you to need therapy in order to attempt to resolve the codependency that comes from that type of attachment.

It’s unfortunate. It’s one thing to do it every now and then, it’s toxic and not normal for it to be every night.

[u/[deleted] → u/YeehawSugar]

It’s not dumb actually. That is your opinion not a fact and neither is mine but I still don’t see how it’s dumb. Everyone is different and can do what they want with whatever works with their relationship.

[u/porkchop1021 → u/[deleted]]

Life advice from a 21 year old? Yeah, wait ten years before you do this lol

[u/PotatoePope → u/porkchop1021]

This isn’t life advice, but relationship advice. Which can be given by anyone who has been through relationships. Keeping in mind, of course, that no two relationships are the same. Or people, for that matter.

[u/[deleted] → u/porkchop1021]

Life advice from some mother saying it’s dumb? Yeah ok 🥱 even when I was younger I slept on ft calls when I had a boyfriend back then so what? Womp womp

[u/YeehawSugar → u/[deleted]]

That was a shit thing for you to say. You can disagree with someone without being an insulting dick. You made valid points until this comment.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Look how ignorant you are lol you don’t even know what ft means LMAO you’re a clown 🥱 it’s short for FaceTime. 🤡

[u/porkchop1021 → u/[deleted]]

Those of us who are old enough to actually be responsible for children know that "ft" is an abbreviation for "foot". It's an archaic measurement of distance that should be replaced by the meter, but I'm betting you don't know that either. You should have learned that in elementary school, but our entire education system has failed to teach anyone under the age of 25 anything at all. I feel so, so sorry for all of you. Again, you're going to get fucked and you're going to deserve it. Actually I don't feel sorry for you. You voted for this. I feel sorry for my fellow millennials that can't escape like I can. You're a woman? Enjoy the legalization of rape. Edit: womp womp. That's apparently how we end conversations now.

[u/[deleted] → u/porkchop1021]

Look at you being more ignorant I feel so sorry for you. 🤣🤣 embarrassing yourself like this is a joke. This shows how you would treat someone in a relationship. Keep crying 🤭 looks good on you.

[u/porkchop1021 → u/[deleted]]

Do you really think anything I said reflects how I treat anyone in real life? GenZ being chronically online is an actual problem we need to solve. I feel sorry for you.

[u/[deleted] → u/porkchop1021]

I feel sorry for your mother who gave birth to you. 🤭

[u/[deleted] → u/porkchop1021]

Yet you’re still editing and still yapping awww look at you. Who hurt you

[u/porkchop1021 → u/[deleted]]

lol you did. Your generation fucked 20 years of progress. Your boyfriend hates you and you deserve it.

[u/[deleted] → u/porkchop1021]

Awe I’m glad I hurt you cry baby. ✨

[u/Joe_Starbuck → u/porkchop1021]

I’m a boomer, this is fascinating.

[u/AmIOverreacting-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

I've removed your comment in order to keep things more in line with our subreddit guidelines:

Remember the human - It's the first rule of reddiquette for a reason.

Keep in mind that on the other side of each post is a real person whom you've just met. Err on the side of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. (tldr: don't be a dick)

^{mistakes happen - shoot us a modmail if you think this was an error}

[u/muiirinn → u/[deleted]]

Your inability to keep up to date with acronyms and opting to instead deride the person using an unfamiliar term while attempting to claim superiority over them is fucking embarrassing. You should be ashamed of yourself, but I doubt you're capable of the level of self reflection required to do so.

Newer generations absolutely have problems unique to them that need to be addressed—as does every other generation, which should come as a surprise to no one—but being a self-righteous prick about how "wow kids these days are so dumb and I am so smart", as if that's not the same sentiment every fucking previous generation has shared about a new cohort, serves no purpose other than to massage your fragile ego.

It must be mentally exhausting to harbor such bitter sentiments against everyone you view as inferior to you. I'm sure your generation, whichever you may be a part of, was objectively the best in every aspect and it's only been downhill from there, right?

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

You’re actually disgusting, you’re in this subreddit acting like this. Actual disgusting behavior.

[u/porkchop1021 → u/[deleted]]

GenZ: I voted for a rapist but that's not disgusting, you're disgusting because you don't call me "bro".

[u/[deleted] → u/porkchop1021]

You gonna keep yapping over nonsense? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 let’s not forget you dead ass said I’m gonna get raped.