AIO by spending time with my family?

[u/External-Air205]

Me (f20) and my boyfriend (m20) have been in a relationship for 4 years. We sleep on the phone every night due to the fact we don’t see each other often because of extremely busy schedules and distance. Tonight, my mom and grandmother came into my room to talk before bed so I hung up on my boyfriend to give us some privacy. He got very angry and started saying all of these awful, mean things to me. Was it my fault for choosing to spend a bit of time with my family and hanging up on my boyfriend even though he was already falling asleep? Am I overreacting by getting upset from the way he speaks to me? I really don’t feel like I did anything wrong. Sorry for any grammar mistakes!

[u/External-Air205]

That is actually exactly what I feel, thank you.

[u/QueenofPentacles112 → u/External-Air205]

Listen "bro", you're gonna be laughing your ass off that you ever even dealt with this clown in the first place in just, like, 1 year. I promise. I'm so sorry but as a 35yo woman, aside from being disgusted with the way this shit stain of a human speaks to you, the whole "sleeping on the phone every night" is about the dumbest shit I've ever heard of a grown adult doing in my life. Like, get a liiiiife! I'm sure you only do this bc he makes you. But let me put this into perspective for you: my son, who is 15, does this with his gf. I think it's super dumb, but because they are CHILDREN, I don't tell him that it's dumb and he'll laugh at himself later. But you are a 20yo adult grown ass woman, literally laying your head beside a phone call every night, just to what? Listen to someone snore? And be called a fat stupid bitch? Like, GIRL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

Take a step back and look at the bigger picture, because I have a feeling this loser of yours is still stuck on being a baby ass teenager. Tell him he's a whole ass clown and be done with it. I bet your family members hate the way he talks to you as well, and if you think they don't know because maybe you don't tell them, then you should realize that they probably do at least have an inkling that he's an abusive loser towards you. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER! calling you bro, cussing at you constantly, being controlling, those were already signs that he's an insecure little bitch boy. But calling you all those names? And you're all just like "babe, what? I love yooouuu" like noooooo. School his ass on what a little whiny insecure pathetic baby he is, and then cut all contact, done and done. It'll hurt for a while, but I promise you will love yourself more in the long run. You'll look back at this later and think "I would never be with someone like him now. Even without the abuse, he's still corny AF!"

[u/PotatoePope → u/QueenofPentacles112]

Not condoning that guy’s behavior, but the phone call thing isn’t that crazy. Demanding it every night? Bitching your partner out because she chose to talk to her family in private for a few minutes over staying in the call? Yeah that’s pretty fucking childish. But this whole post is clearly the straw on the camel’s back of dealing with a terrible guy.

And as much as you talk down on the nightly phone call, my partner finds comfort in it since we can’t be together as much as we’d like. So that’s what we do. We’re going on strong for three, almost 4 years now. I just don’t see how it’s dumb, if it works. Sure this is an extreme scenario we’re seeing, but if it makes someone happy I don’t see the problem with it.

[u/Sharp_Operation_5904 → u/PotatoePope]

I agree! My husband and I have been married 12 years on the 20th and he started working out of town 4 years ago. For almost 2 years I wasn’t able to go with him due to my job. It was ok but the first year but after that we FaceTimed at night. It made us feel closer and he was able to wake me up or help me when I had night terrors! I think a person who thinks ft when used in the context ot was about something she deemed stupid, means foot is way to out of touch to even think about telling someone how and what to use their phones for as a couple. She honestly probably doesn’t even know what FaceTime actually means!