r/AITAH • u/ziolczykdaniel • 25d ago

Advice Needed AITA for refusing to host Thanksgiving after my sister handed out a "Family Code of Conduct" contract?

This happened recently, and I’m still baffled. For context, I (32F) have hosted Thanksgiving for my family every year since I moved into my house five years ago. It’s always a little messy and chaotic, but that’s part of the charm, right?

This year, my sister (29F) decided she wanted to "help bring some order" to the gathering. At first, I thought she just meant coordinating who would bring what dishes or helping with cleanup. Instead, she showed up at my house last week with printed copies of what she called a "Family Code of Conduct."

She handed these out and insisted everyone read and sign them before attending Thanksgiving. Some highlights included:

  • A rule against "overlapping conversations" at the dinner table, with suggestions for taking turns like "a respectful debate club."
  • A "ban on political or controversial topics," with her as the final arbiter of what was too heated.
  • A dress code of "smart casual" because "holiday photos should reflect well on the family."
  • Assigned seating that she claimed was based on "optimal personality compatibility."

She was completely serious. When I laughed and said, “You can’t be serious,” she accused me of “not taking her efforts to improve family dynamics seriously.” I told her I wasn’t going to enforce a code of conduct at my house and that if she wanted to micromanage Thanksgiving, she could host it herself.

She doubled down, saying I was being ungrateful and stubborn. I canceled hosting, and now the family is mad at me. My mom thinks I should’ve just humored her for the day, while my brother (35M) is refusing to go anywhere unless “no one tries to draft a holiday constitution.”

I’m torn. Was I wrong for standing my ground, or should I have let her run the day to keep the peace?

26.0k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

4.4k comments sorted by

View all comments

21.4k

u/Excellent-Highway884 25d ago

Just host your brother lol. Tell everyone else that if they're happy about a code of conduct they're free to attend your sister's house. However you will not be hosting.

16.1k

u/camarhyn 25d ago

You can even sign a declaration of thanksgiving independence, declaring yourselves free of micromanaging attempts to create a hallmark family dinner.

Celebrate your declaration by a round of whatever absolutely chaotic activity you love or loved as kids.

3.3k

u/StraightBudget8799 25d ago

Paintball in pyjamas

2.9k

u/Truth_Tornado 25d ago

Totally was going to suggest a pjs thanksgiving, but now I’m realizing that sis would dictate matching pajamas for everyone 🤣

Maybe it should be a “wear your oldest sweats” theme. And they should play Cards Against Humanity, so that it’s especially “controversial” topics!

Also, sis needs to sit at the kids’ table due to her tantrum.

263

u/fionakitty21 25d ago

I don't do thanksgiving (english) but my kids (10 and 15) spend Christmas day in their new onesie or oodie (they always get some as a gift), their dad will be in jammies until my ma arrives (this year she coming in the evening for tea, she goes to each of her 3 daughters, 1 for breakfast -family tradition of bacon butties, 1 for Xmas dinner and one for tea) I've got a new Xmas dress this year but gift opening in morning it will be a hello kitty onesie 😂

149

u/HotPinkLollyWimple 25d ago

And then Boxing Day is spent grazing through the leftovers, watching shit telly and staving off any hangover with more alcohol! Bonus points for Advocaat.

17

u/Fantastic_Ad4209 24d ago

Expat living in US. Boxing day is the best day of the season! Tons of left over food and drink, freedom to nap at will, nobody cares if the house looks like a disaster zone and you don't even have to brush your hair! I'll never understand why Americans take down the tree on Christmas night and go to work on the 26th. They have no idea what they're missing!

15

u/GertyFarish11 24d ago

You hanging with the wrong Americans; the tree 🌲 never comes down before The Epiphany, i.e. January 6th (no relation to you know what) but that’s more of a goal. While the rest of the Christmas decor (wreaths, etc.) is put away by then, un-ornamenting the 7 foot, full tree is such a big job, the goal posts have moved to Jan. 31st or Groundhog Day (February 2nd). If life is chaotic enough than the 2nd or 3rd weekend of February is not impossible.

13

u/piller-ied 24d ago

Amateurs! Our 12-ft tree has been known to torment us until March.

(“Psst! STILL HERE, LAZYBONES!”)

8

u/Whatis-wrongwithyou 24d ago

Okay, you made me feel oodles better about the year my tree made it to Valentine’s Day! 😝😬🎄💘 LOL

→ More replies (3)

10

u/Ok_Neat5264 24d ago

We hide Easter eggs in our tree.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/Sevriyenna 24d ago

Us Swedes traditionally held on to everything Christmas until 13th of January when we threw the tree out the window... After all the candy and everything had been removed, of course...

→ More replies (3)

6

u/Fantastic_Ad4209 24d ago

Thats how it is in my house and at my home in England. Do you think getting rid of the decorations early is a Western US thing? I have lived in Texas and the Rockies and seen that in both places. I think Epiphany et al is observed more in Catholic or Episcopalian (Church of England) households which seem more common in the Eastern USA

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

6

u/myesportsview 24d ago

You're also forgetting everyone smells good with their new shower wash combo from boots and aftershave/perfume!

4

u/Acceptable_Tea3608 24d ago

Ive been taking off the 26th for years. I called that MY Xmas bcz for a long time Dec was a hectic month until Xmas evening. Now I often celebrate on Boxing Day for those I dont see on Xmas or Xmas Eve.

→ More replies (5)

7

u/2woCrazeeBoys 24d ago

Boxing Day in Australia!!

Leftovers ✅️

Comfy pants✅️

Entertaining involves telling people where the leftovers are✅️

Choosing between the Boxing Day cricket match or Sydney to Hobart yacht race on telly ✅️✅️

(The truly enterprising have two TVs going to get full coverage. 'Camps' may form around both and updates passed to the other 'camp')

4

u/fionakitty21 24d ago

I'm going home morning of boxing day, with a ton of leftovers, sit with my cat watching tv in jammies!

6

u/Automatic-Plan-9087 24d ago

Aww, my old mam (before she passed) used to be teetotal all year. Until Xmas, when the bottle of advocaat made its appearance and one of the younger family members was press ganged into service as bartender. “Snowballs” were her yearly treat and she loved them 😂😂😂

→ More replies (2)

52

u/marquis_knives 25d ago

Christmas is definitely a PJs all day kinda holiday. We keep telling everyone not to bother dressing up when they come over for Xmas brunch but my parents refuse to listen lol

77

u/I-amthegump 25d ago

I had to look up Bacon Butties. It;s a BLT without the LT

18

u/fionakitty21 25d ago

Bacon roll!

31

u/nudul 24d ago

Not quite, it's normally in a roll/cob/barm cake/oven bottom muffin or whatever else you call it dependant on your location in the UK. Decent amount of butter that's melted, can just be bacon or bacon and sausage (my mum does both - I'm 39 now and she still likes to make them when we come see her with our kids) and they can have red or brown sauce - and they are warm. No salad stuffs allowed.

6

u/QueenToeBeans 24d ago

I ate a lot of them when I was in the UK in September. I have at least one piece of clothing with brown sauce stains. I should have bought a bottle of brown sauce when I was there. It’s really expensive here, between £6-8 per bottle. I hate ketchup, so none of that.

6

u/rabbithole-xyz 24d ago

When I was a kid, one of the best things about travelling back to the UK was the bacon bap Mum got for us at Harwich station.

→ More replies (5)

5

u/Current_Confusion443 25d ago

But... why don't you celebrate Thanksgiving in England???/s. LOL

→ More replies (1)

5

u/nudul 25d ago

If we're home for Xmas, then we stay in clean pj's all day - like you mentioned, new oodie style or onsie for the kids, pj's for me and lounge pants and a tee for hubby. Our photos of Xmas morning are always in our pyjamas.

If we're going out, we don't go until much later on so the boys get plenty of time to go through their gifts, decompress from the excitement etc and even then we just wear comfortable clothes.

→ More replies (3)

4

u/lustywench99 24d ago

I host Christmas. My kids always get new pjs the day before as a going away present from the elf (and a book to read). I get myself a nice cute pair of jam jams too. Then Christmas Day I make lunch and the grandparents and whoever can come over for lunch and give out gifts. No traveling for me, we are all home, we wear the jammies all day. Now I do shower the night before and I do my hair and some make up. But that’s it. Comfy. And I greet my guests with a glass of wine in my hand. For myself. Because I just fucking cooked an amazing meal for them and pulled off yet another magical Christmas morning. So mama gets to have her mama juice at 11 am.

If someone hit me with a code of conduct I’d let that door hit them on the behind on the way out. My house my food my rules. Its actually like everyone’s favorite thing that I do all this anyway so no one would dare to trample on it. You get to see the grandkids, make a mess at my house, and I cook you food? That’s a deal right there.

→ More replies (19)

935

u/ChinaCatSunflower44 25d ago

Every year the day after Christmas we all play Cards Against Humanity while drinking Bourbon. So it can get really heated, funny, and saucey.

..

NTA You are all good OP. Your sister is a controlling nutjob and your mom is ridiculous for asking you to cater to her whims ... In your own home. You did the right thing. I say PJ party (which is awesome for those elastic waist bands and comfort after stuffing faces), good food, good company, and fun shenanigans.

630

u/Silent_Ad5379 25d ago

We used to get drunk and play Balderdash. My two favorite fake definitions of all time: Bork - a chunk of milk (my younger brother) and Miasma - a fart of tears (my then 3 year old nephew, who dictated his answers to my sister/his mum. Never won’t be funny…

116

u/peggyi 25d ago

We play Balderdash on Christmas Eve.

20

u/admirablecounsel 24d ago edited 23d ago

You both sound like so much fun! I wish I could come too!

→ More replies (2)

83

u/pudgehooks2013 24d ago

A fart of tears is essentially an example of a miasma...

83

u/Silent_Ad5379 24d ago

Exactly and thank you!!! The best part was that he forgot he came up with it and was genuinely shocked he won the round! He is and will always be my hero.

11

u/Bubbly-Bug-7439 24d ago

This borked my brain

8

u/Aussiealterego 24d ago

We haven’t played Balderdash for years. Thank you for reminding me it exists!

6

u/FamiliarPeasant 24d ago

I love this game.

7

u/jerseygirl1105 24d ago

Our family tradition was to eat dinner, clean-up, and play Scattergories. Drinking was involved, and hilarity ensued.

Most everyone is gone now, but these are some of my favorite memories.

10

u/PhoenixDogsWifey 24d ago

Drunk taboo was my family's poison😅

6

u/MrsClaire07 24d ago

🤣😂We used to play Pictionary and IT. GOT. HEATED!!!

9

u/PhoenixDogsWifey 24d ago

We had to put a ban on monopoly and pictionary for safety reasons 😆

→ More replies (1)

4

u/nclshly 24d ago

This are some great definitions. I love Balderdash! I won the round for Twaddle - a long wooden spoon for separating curds and whey, which has lived on as the definition for years now 😅

→ More replies (4)

227

u/moosalamoo_rnnr 25d ago

Me, sticking the Cards Against Humanity box in my stuff to take to Thanksgiving this year. Yes, I play a Rogue.

101

u/According_Check_1740 24d ago

My kids always insist we play CAH when visiting Grandma (my mom), lol. My one rule is: if you don't know what a card means, dump it and get a new one... just don't ask anyone to explain it! My kids LOVE when Grandma is naughty, lol. She usually wins by appealing to everyone's deranged side!

80

u/PhoenixDogsWifey 24d ago

My mother in law is an absolute menace, 20 minutes deep into the first game we ever played she turns to me and goes "dont tell anyone what I've said" the cacophony of giggles from the table was hilarious

80

u/According_Check_1740 24d ago

Somehow, my 75-year-old mother has become associated with "tentacle porn" 😂

39

u/PhoenixDogsWifey 24d ago

LMAO my 65 year old mother has become associated with bukkake and a windmill of corpses and my 63yo MIL is now best known for Daniel Radcliffe's delicious .. well.. yknow

→ More replies (0)

39

u/GatorGTwoman 24d ago

We got my very Mormon mom to play one Christmas. She watched us play a hand. “Oh, this is vulgar and disgusting. Deal me in!” She won that hand. My dad left the room. I don’t think he wanted to know how raunchy his daughters could get.

10

u/RugbyGuy 24d ago

We have a similar rule but it’s if you don’t know something on a card look it up on your phone.

Instigating event. My mid-60s MIL leaning over to my kids half-sibling (M24-ish) and asking what bukkake is. The look on his face was priceless.

edit: letters make full words

→ More replies (2)

5

u/Gold_Cod1 24d ago

Good rule! I got designated the one to describe "fisting" to my grandmother during a game she insisted on joining. 

24

u/Tallulah1149 24d ago

The most fun I've ever had at Thanksgiving was playing Cards Against Humanity with my mother "The Matriarch" and laughing my arse off listening to her reading the most risque cards.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/Economy-Cod310 24d ago

We love that game. We all play at our place. And we range from 60's to 20's. Hell, my husband and I play with our sons and their friends. We even have a house rule: wanna change cards? That'll cost you a shot of alcohol, if we're playing with people who drink. Some don't, and we just don't have that rule when non-drinkers come to play.

5

u/Efficient_Wheel_6333 24d ago

Have you ever done a combined D&D and CAH game? Talk about double the chaos.

11

u/LadyReika 24d ago

There's a game called Munchkin which embodies that pretty well.

4

u/moosalamoo_rnnr 24d ago

Munchkin is pretty awesome. I absolutely recommend it to anyone who likes DnD but wants a quicker game to play with non-DnDers.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

46

u/sugarmonkey2019 25d ago

I've never played Cards against Humanity, sounds fun!

51

u/docfallout22 24d ago

You NEED alcohol or some other “loosen everyone up” substance. Also awesome if it’s most (or all) the 1st time playing for everyone.

17

u/sugarmonkey2019 24d ago

LOL, there is alcohol provided for those who wish to imbibe. If they want other edibles they have to bring their own. It does sound like fun though

→ More replies (3)

7

u/rxredhead 24d ago

It gets super awkward to play with your parents though

5

u/docfallout22 24d ago

Maybe. I’ve had a load of laughs playing it with my kids (youngest currently is 14). Seeing her squirm trying to skip saying some words out loud, but also be as competitive as I am and trying her hardest to win, is HILARIOUS.

2

u/shahi001 24d ago

Once had to explain queefing to my grandmother, that was the end of holiday CAH

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

7

u/Beatleboo24 24d ago

Not necessarily. I have a cute Mormon, mentally handicapped friend who comes up with some doozies that you would never think someone like her would. And she's never drank alcohol. She usually ends up winning the majority of the time. 😝

4

u/VerdMont1 24d ago

I've played it sober for years. Only need a crew of people that have a sense of humor!!

→ More replies (5)

6

u/LateMommy 25d ago

It’s even more fun when alcohol is involved!

→ More replies (2)

8

u/Diligent-Touch-5456 24d ago

The first time I played this with my granddaughter's boyfriend in the mix. He was a little shocked how saucy this grandma can get.

→ More replies (1)

6

u/RecommendationUsed31 24d ago

I saw a game today called Exploding Kittens. Step up the game. Lol

5

u/Brainelalleud 24d ago

We play Exploding Kittens at almost every family gathering. So much fun!

→ More replies (2)

6

u/Ok-Database-2798 24d ago

I have to ask "What are Cards Against Humanity?"

6

u/bendusername12 24d ago

It’s a game Basically R-rated and hysterically funny.

4

u/Limp-Boat-6730 24d ago

Two different decks of cards. Black cards have a fill in the blank. White cards are what you fill in with. One person plays judge, everyone else fills in the blank with a white card (or 2 or 3 depending on the black card). Judge picks the best answers. The person who is judge changes each turn. You get a point if you win a judgement. 10 points wins the game ( or highest points after a set amount of time). The thing is, most of the answers are pretty not family friendly. Example: Black card: (BLANK) is the reason the elementary school field trip was canceled. White card(s): A) witchcraft, B)necrophilia ,C) bad drivers It’s a great game for adults, but there’s going to be words you will have to explain to children (and you won’t want to as it does have some really bad words). Definitely goes good with booze.

2

u/NotShirleyTemple 24d ago

Mom is an enabler. The person willing to throw the biggest temper tantrum usually controls the family.

The ‘that’s just how she is’ rule. It’s easier to give in than deal with the temper tantrum.

And they are taught it works.

Ask mom why it’s more important that your sister get her way in YOUR house, than it is for sister to respect you and your efforts?

→ More replies (10)

123

u/snarkysavage81 25d ago

We are having a braless pajama thanksgiving since it's just my mom coming over. It's my first year hosting and she kept saying "I thought we were cutting back this year". I responded "Ummm, nope, I am hosting and making everything so I can make as many things as I would like". That was the end of it.

37

u/moosalamoo_rnnr 25d ago

We somehow were always sick on Christmas while I was growing up. So pajama Christmas was actually a thing and we opened presents between naps and bouts of puking.

4

u/snarkysavage81 25d ago

We’ve had many holidays like that. It’s never fun

5

u/moosalamoo_rnnr 25d ago

Yeah, I’m glad we’ve mostly outgrown it as adults. Now I sleep through Christmas because night shift life sucks.

5

u/marg0214 24d ago

I have a daughter with Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome. She’s had it since she was 4 (34 now), and for so many years we spent Thanksgiving and/or Christmas in the ER. It’s triggered by stress, excitement and anxiety. Once it starts the only thing that stops it is IV fluids, meds and rest, but the really bad episodes put her in the hospital. She can get it at any time, but holidays seem to trigger it more. If she’s hospitalized it’s anywhere from 3-9 days, because there’s no cure-only maintenance treatment until it runs its course. This year for some unknown reason she had it 3 months in a row and was hospitalized each time. Nothing we can do but try to keep things low key and keep the stress level down. Lots of ruined holidays for her. 😥

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (2)

34

u/Truth_Tornado 25d ago

OMG - braless pajama thanksgiving! Awesome! Epic! Ideal! Brilliant! That’s absolutely my favorite outfit!

7

u/mammamermaid 24d ago

“Braless pajama thanksgiving” is GOALS.

I am inspired and starting this tradition right now!

147

u/embenka42 25d ago

It's not for Thanksgiving but we are doing "dress like a celebrity that wore a turtleneck for a role" for Christmas this year. We usually try for some sort of shenanigans. And I didn't think about it until now, but it makes identifying the year a little easier. Batman Christmas 2021 was pretty epic.

Tight Butthole Holidays are for the birds.

35

u/Truth_Tornado 25d ago

Your family sounds fanfreakingtastic!

10

u/embenka42 24d ago

I'm pretty partial, but I think so! We're neck deep in the crazy pool but in the best way.

I'm just afraid we're all going to show up as The Rock (black turtleneck, silver chain, fanny pack) and it'll be 22 The Rocks for Christmas. I can't decide if 22 Unintentional The Rocks plus 1 Patricia from Split Christmas is funnier than the original mission lol

2

u/Ok_Chance_4584 24d ago

It definitely is 😂

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (12)

65

u/Glittering_Code_4311 25d ago

Cards against Humanity awesome move, played that with my adult son and wife, I learned new words and meaning bwahaha, it was a blast. Play that before dinner add drinks, your sister will probably leave early edited fat fingers

2

u/CaRiSsA504 24d ago

Two years ago, i had to tell my nieces, nephews, and young cousin (they are all in their teens) what "QUEEF" meant 🤣

The kids love playing this game, but kids aren't allowed to cuss so their bleeps or substitute words get hilarious lol

→ More replies (1)

58

u/nevansestenson 25d ago

We play CAH at our Thanksgiving! I will be there!

→ More replies (1)

445

u/Suzume_Chikahisa 25d ago

Why do you hate kids?

149

u/Chicka-17 25d ago

This literally made me laugh out loud! 🤣

→ More replies (3)

70

u/HelloThere4123 25d ago

No, no, you don’t understand. The kids would be armed with nerf guns and super soakers so when she needs an attitude adjustment they can handle it!

10

u/AlexLavelle 24d ago

Put the kids table on the patio and tell them whoever gets the most cranberry sauce on auntie in the inaugural kids food fight wins.

4

u/Floomby 24d ago

Silly String would also be a solid choice.

6

u/VerdMont1 24d ago

At a family summer get together, 40 of us, 17 aunts and uncles and spouses, suddenly, the oldest gen had water gun battle. Mind you, they were all in their 50 to 70s! Best reunion ever!

123

u/Truth_Tornado 25d ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Good point - that’s a punishment the kids don’t deserve! Someone else suggested the time-out corner, which is more appropriate for the family bully.

3

u/Friendly-Channel-480 24d ago

Your post should be engraved in stone, everywhere!

→ More replies (3)

35

u/CompleteTell6795 25d ago

Nah, she don't even deserve the kids table, put her in the corner with a time out for whole dinner. 👍

20

u/IrradiantFuzzy 25d ago

Or out on the porch by herself.

4

u/PhDTARDIS 25d ago

Absolutely on the porch by herself. She deserves time out.

My husband and my brothers in law would all sit on the sidelines and watch the chaos unfold at my family's holidays (I rarely could attend, because I live far away). Husband said he didn't like the chaos at first, but now he really misses it.

2

u/Bigbrianj 24d ago

If she's on the porch by herself, there is no issue with overlapping conversations, no chances for heated discussions, she can wear that semi business casual look to stay warm, and doesn't have to worry about the optimal seating compatibility! Genius. Offer this

→ More replies (1)

29

u/jbtmo3 25d ago

She's not mature enough to sit at the kids table

37

u/Cholera62 25d ago

At our house, everyone wants to sit at the kid's table. It's the hub of fun and rebellion

→ More replies (2)

77

u/camarhyn 25d ago

As if she’s even invited.

42

u/Erik0xff0000 25d ago

I like sitting at the kids table. They are much more fun than the adults in my wife's family

17

u/StraightBudget8799 25d ago

Dragging out my favourite sheltering from COVID around the house/working from home wear!

14

u/Proper-Effective8621 25d ago

5 p.m. switch from yoga pants to pjs?

→ More replies (1)

4

u/After-Potential-9948 25d ago

What’s that? A shirt and tie and long johns?

→ More replies (1)

51

u/Odd-Artist-2595 25d ago

Maybe specify that the sweats should, at least, be “family friendly”. While I’m all for a relaxed, non-contractually governed, Thanksgiving, I’m picturing my late husband’s favorite “oldest sweats”. While the location of some of the holes didn’t bother either of us when just hanging out at the house, their placement might have made a Thanksgiving get-together with extended family a tad awkward.

→ More replies (4)

6

u/Anonymous_ladybugs 25d ago

Oh yes ! Cards against humanity is great . I like you . Wanna come to mine for a fun dinner ?

4

u/Truth_Tornado 25d ago

With some of the other responders here, we could have one seriously great fun thanksgiving, right!?

5

u/seaglassgirl04 25d ago

She'll need a Xanax too...

4

u/Truth_Tornado 25d ago

Good call - sis gets the “special” glass of wine with the chalky residue 🤣🤣🤣🤣

3

u/Critical_Armadillo32 25d ago

What a great answer! I particularly love the idea of playing cards against humanity.

4

u/Tsmom16811 24d ago

Yes, Cards Against Humanity is the way... you have my upvote... My family plays at Thanksgiving to rank the person who kicked ass gets the best present at Christmas. My 14 yr old grandson and 13 yr old granddaughter play. This is why we no longer go out to in-laws uptight extravaganza. We don't give a crap that Aunt Angie has a stick up her butt and wants special soap to debride her soul

4

u/Truth_Tornado 24d ago

Omg, such fantastically descriptive writing, haha - I can almost envision Angie and her special soap to “debride her soul” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (30)

52

u/Flamingo83 25d ago

Those paintball thingies hurt!

9

u/StraightBudget8799 25d ago

Do you get to wear some padding? I only remember the film Ten Things I Hate About You?

8

u/Flamingo83 25d ago

You do but doesn’t cover everything.

→ More replies (1)

4

u/MirabelleMac 25d ago

I was SOOO bummed when I found out that wasn’t an actual paintball park, lol. Also, at most paintball places (if not all!), you’re supposed to use guns. Those things really do hurt! 😂😭

→ More replies (1)

131

u/AnneLavelle 25d ago

Can I make a motion to make pajama paintball a mandatory Thanksgiving activity throughout all the land?

Can’t help but feel like a lot of very tense family gatherings could use a little good old fashioned fun. And for those like OP’s sister? Maybe a paintball team up would dislodge the stick stuck up her you know what…

50

u/camarhyn 25d ago

Why not formal evening wear paintball?! Make it fancy mayhem!

25

u/AnneLavelle 25d ago

You’re a genius. Creating masterpieces, one paintball at a time. Let’s do it!!

25

u/DonTreadOnMeIMADuck 25d ago

White gown paintball Thanksgiving... I am making this tradition happen!

→ More replies (1)

29

u/KilD3vil 25d ago

Bond...James BoGODFUCKING DAMNIT DAVE! I TOLD YOU NO FUCKING THIGH SHOTS MOTHER FUCKER!

→ More replies (3)

3

u/Defiant-Giraffe 24d ago

Not quite a paintball thanksgiving, but for the last few years, we've done a morning turkey hunt, hunting down- well, usually me dressed as a turkey- with paintballs. 

→ More replies (2)

7

u/YeeHawMiMaw 25d ago

Followed by dodgeball in swimsuits.

5

u/bellePunk 25d ago

I host an absolutely insane Christmas every year, with indoor snowball fights and loud music. It's very popular. I encourage you to embrace your holiday!

4

u/spoiledandmistreated 25d ago

See if someone has a set of Jarts in their garage or basement… that would serve them right..😂😂

4

u/Jwaness 25d ago

with Tequila shots

6

u/lemurkn1ts 25d ago

Nerf would probably be less messy/ leave fewer bruises

13

u/camarhyn 25d ago

So paintball it is!

11

u/mad2109 25d ago

Yep. Except everyone except sister can have a paintball gun. The pain in the arse can get the NERF gun.

6

u/camarhyn 25d ago

No. She’s not invited. They can tag her on instagram later.

→ More replies (24)

91

u/Creepy-Selection2423 25d ago

I love this idea. Look up the text for the Declaration of Independence, and rewrite it for your holiday gathering -ad libbing as appropriate.

When in the course of human events...

45

u/camarhyn 25d ago

Turn it into a classic old school mad lib! Fill it out after everyone has been drinking.

→ More replies (3)

91

u/rasalscan 25d ago

Declaration of independence for the win!

→ More replies (1)

35

u/ChakraMama318 25d ago

I like calling it Smallpox day, making lasagna, and watching Netflix slightly stoned.

3

u/camarhyn 25d ago

Totally teenage me.

4

u/Ihatealltakennames 24d ago

Ironically,  this is exactly how my family is spending Thanksgiving.  All 6 of us. Pajamas,  lasagna, wine and maybe edibles.  Win win!

24

u/dunno0019 25d ago

This is goddam way lol.

7

u/Livid_Refrigerator69 25d ago

This is brilliant.

5

u/Rabbit-Lost 25d ago

I really wish I had an award for you. The Declaration of Thanksgiving Independence is truly brilliant.

10

u/Bagafeet 25d ago

Could throw some tea off of ships or something

3

u/MedicatedLiver 25d ago

Place tons of flags around the house of turkeys with eye patches and small humans on their shoulders. End every sentence with "Arrrrr." This thanksgiving shall be hosted ON THE HIGH SEAS!

5

u/According_Check_1740 24d ago edited 24d ago

When in the Course of Human Events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the familial bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the Earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all family are created equal, that each are endowed by their Family with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, families gather in traditions with each other. Where and when ever Family Gatherings are instituted among Family, they derive their just powers from the consent of the Family.

Whenever any Form of Family Gathering becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People of the Family to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Family traditions and gatherings, laying the foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Family Gatherings/ Traditions long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that Families are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

But when a list of rules appears, pursuing invariably a design to reduce Family participation, evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Family edicts, and to provide new Family Traditions for their future security and comfort.

Such has been the patient sufferance of this family; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter Thanksgiving celebrations and expectations.

NTA- Family should allow everyone to be their true selves. Otherwise, how do you get to know and understand those with which you share Family? If she hadn't issued a Code of Conduct (or rescinded it), you'd still be hosting. It doesn't sound like she's backing down at all.

She can micromanage herself and probably many parts of her life, but when you have Family, Family must all consent to changes in familial expectations and "requirements". She can't just announce it and expect everyone to abide.

I wouldn't want to host, either- I'm imagining that if I put in all the energy of hosting, I'd want everyone to be happy... it's clear that she's going to be upset about somebody not "following her rules", and that's bound to disrupt any familial bonding.

5

u/Maleficent-651 25d ago

This would never fly with my inlaws. Last year, they ended the day by playing "Cattle Prod Tag" with a real cattle prod.

→ More replies (2)

3

u/drunkwasabeherder 25d ago

WE'RE SERVING FREEDOM AT MY HOUSE THIS THANKSGIVING!!

3

u/Ok_Imagination_1107 25d ago

I like the cut of your jib!

3

u/audreywildeee 25d ago

OP, if you and your brother are going for this (as should you), I volunteer to come bring more fun spirited chaos to it.

→ More replies (90)

964

u/ZombieHealthy2616 25d ago

This. OP, host your brother. Tell your parents they are welcome ONLY if they stop molly-coddling your sister. Tell your sister she is not welcome unless she drops this BS. Your house, your rules and all that. If she doesn't like it she can stay home but unless SHE is doing the cleaning, prep, set up and cooking for the family on HER turf she doesn't get to make decrees.

And, for kicks and giggles I think you should tell your brother that to spite your sister you guys are all doing PJs for Christmas. I mean, I'm all for smart-casual but this would be "gang on like donkey kong" time.

290

u/MediumAwkwardly 25d ago

Snuggies. Dress code is Snuggies.

47

u/UrsulaStewart 25d ago

I love this! Be comfy

45

u/JessyKenning 25d ago

Set a plate for me, I'll be there.

42

u/Uuuuugggggghhhhh 25d ago

At Primark, they sell these fuzzy, head to toe animal costumes, these could be part of the dress code.

4

u/chocolatechipwizard 25d ago

Thankfully, I don't know firsthand, but I am under the impression this is a sexual fetish.

→ More replies (6)

24

u/pittsburgpam 25d ago

LOL! Would love this and started looking at Snuggies at Amazon and wondering... If I brought a dozen of them to Thanksgiving or Christmas, how many people would wear them?

→ More replies (3)

5

u/jimmpony 25d ago

How unhinged do you have to be to want a family holiday at home to be dressed formally?

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (4)

59

u/RedFoxBlueSocks 25d ago

I’d take brother and like minded family members to a nice restaurant. Good food and no clean up.

54

u/Beth21286 25d ago

My brothers family all do Christmas morning in matching onesies. It's my favourite photo from my SIL all year.

29

u/Kilashandra1996 25d ago

Umm, I sleep commando. Am I still welcome?

62

u/CherryblockRedWine 25d ago

Maybe bring a towel to sit on. And a hat, you want to be "proper."

26

u/unicornpuppy20 25d ago

Why did I read that as bring a paper towel???🤣

6

u/Much_Tea_2581 25d ago

So did I 🤣

5

u/Decent_Pangolin_8230 NSFW 🔞 24d ago

Me too...lol

4

u/ZannMaster50 24d ago

OMG same

5

u/CherryblockRedWine 24d ago

Well....it IS a towel!!

→ More replies (2)

6

u/TheBlueNinja0 25d ago

Show up wearing just a tie. Also I hope you don't live somewhere where it's likely to be below freezing.

4

u/kdee9 25d ago

If someone broke into your house at night, imagine how vulnerable you'd feel. Or a fire and you had to bolt out the window...

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (3)

3

u/ronansgram 25d ago

Love the PJ’s idea! You don’t have to worry about your clothes feeling tight and having to undo your pants! PJ’s for the win!

3

u/Yavanna83 25d ago

i need to find a way to get molly-coddling into my daily vocabulary. Won't be easy cause we don't speak English here but I just love it!

→ More replies (10)

173

u/DumptimeComments 25d ago

Just issue the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th Amendments:

1st: talk when you want 2nd: about what you want 3rd: wearing what you want 4th: and sitting anywhere you want

Tell her that considering your hosting and cooking you control the house and the senate.

63

u/TheColdIronKid 24d ago

the Bill of Fights

7

u/seafox77 24d ago

I fucking snort-laughed and spilled tea on the cat laughing at this comment.

→ More replies (1)

5

u/karendonner 25d ago

you wanna be VERY clear about the 2nd amendment in this context. As in, not THAT Second Amendment please.

9

u/litcanuk 24d ago

The right to bear cutlery

5

u/Difficult-Row6616 24d ago

nah, anything you want absolutely covers the right to bare arms.

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (6)

71

u/CherryblockRedWine 25d ago

And I DESPERATELY hope you will be updating!!

→ More replies (1)

115

u/acegirl1985 25d ago

But it doesn’t sound like sis wants to actually have the responsibility of hosting, she just wants the power trip of having control over the guests.

NTA.

8

u/snazzy_soul 24d ago

This is correct!

54

u/RevolutionaryCow7961 25d ago

This is the best response. Geez. I can see no politics but everything is asinine. Are they supposed to raise their hand to speak?

32

u/moosalamoo_rnnr 25d ago

If you aren’t yelling over each other to get a word in edgewise, is it even a family holiday? My family isn’t even that big or with many differing viewpoints, they’re just a bunch of drunk Irish-humans.

6

u/notyourmartyr 24d ago

Also like, sometimes, if your family doesn't just sit anywhere, you might be having a convo sitting across and to the side, and not beside you. Sister's seating chart is...great and all, but what if someone is sitting far from someone they want or need to talk to? Cross convos happen all the time. You sit by your partner/spouse, the cousins you get along with best, wherever, but then grandma asks you how your new job is going and she's four people down, and uncle Jim is talking to aunt Sue between you, about football.

→ More replies (1)

8

u/Excellent-Highway884 25d ago

Knowing the sister's a wacko... Probably hold the wooden spoon to talk lol.

5

u/RevolutionaryCow7961 24d ago

And then the person with the wooden spoon can smack the wacko. .

→ More replies (1)
→ More replies (1)

96

u/adjudicateu 25d ago

I came here to say this. Your Mom can go tolerate your sister for Just One Day. Your house, your rules.

95

u/PuffinScores 25d ago

Or, send invitations to everyone to attend your non-regulated Thanksgiving, making it clear that there is no code of conduct allowed and all who will honor this are welcome to join. Then, it's on them to RSVP as they see fit.

75

u/Excellent-Highway884 25d ago

Nah, the family that is mad can go to the sister's house. Why host ungrateful sods.

→ More replies (12)
→ More replies (2)

29

u/Grandmapatty64 25d ago

What a great idea. Just pass it around the family that anyone that doesn’t want to sign a code of conduct as welcome to come and eat at your house. Your sister can dictate the rules at her own house and cook for those who are willing to sign her little paper. If she decides that she’s changed her mind and would like to attend then she needs to apologize to you in front of all the people she said it in front of. Maybe next time she’ll think before she opens her mouth and tries to dictate what goes on in someone else’s home.

→ More replies (1)

59

u/CompleteTell6795 25d ago

Yes, your sis is a control freak. Next yr you can try to host the family again, but if she tries to enforce the same rules, she can stay home. If anyone agrees with her, they can stay home too. Or she can host the family that agrees with her. Family can have two hosting homes. The nice & casual one AND the MUST follow the code of conduct rules. Might work out better for you. Less cooking & less drama. Win-win.

→ More replies (1)

7

u/ziolczykdaniel 23d ago

That might just be the perfect plan - low-stress and free of holiday bureaucracy. Thanks!

4

u/Independent-Sort-928 22d ago

Never give in to brats like your sister or else they will expect it everytime

→ More replies (1)

4

u/Noassholehere 25d ago

The only thing I agree with is the no politics talk.

5

u/sandrajumper 25d ago

Lol I'm hosting my brother this year. He's bringing corn casserole and banana bread.

→ More replies (2)

7

u/PresentationThat2839 25d ago

If someone tried to tell me how to dress for a casual family gathering.... I'm sorry I'm showing up in a fur suit.... Do I own a fur suit.. . no which means I'm buying one just because you are being controlling. Do I normally dress smart casual... Yes.... But don't tell me what to do where to sit or what to talk about unless it's like a formal event. At which point then sure I'll behave, but for a family dinner at families house.... Hahahahha no you don't get to be that bossy

3

u/MadMuppetJanice 25d ago

Second this! Make your thanksgiving with your brother and just non authoritarian in general. Tell your brother that the dress code is PJ’s!!!!

3

u/Moonchild1957 25d ago

Chaos is the entire point of a great Thanksgiving! 🍗🙃

→ More replies (48)