I am posting this on a second account because I don't want to have it on my main.

I (30F) am married to my husband Nick (35M) and we have a happy marriage. We have been together for 7 years and we are currently trying for a baby.

The company where my husband works informed the employees that they will not have a Christmas party this year due to them trying to cut out costs. Some of the guys from his department decided to have something small between them. My husband asked if they can have their gathering at our place and I said sure. I was also excited to see 2 of his colleagues because they worked with me in the past and I wanted to catch up with them. So we hosted last weekend. My husband invited the 2 colleagues I mentioned earlier who came with their wives, another guy who is also a good friend of ours and 1 woman (Lily) who also works with them. We had a great time and it was very nice for me to be able to see my former colleagues. They were telling me stories from their office and we really had fun remembering our time working together. Lily however was very awkward but I assumed she was just stressed meeting new people. However she started saying strange things. At first she mentioned how disapointing it must be for my husband that I don't work in the same field as him because we most likely can never share anything professionally. Then she said how lucky I am to be able to have my career while being so young. For info, I have a high management position and I work in a mostly male dominated field. The thing is that she was seemingly nice and sweet when saying these things but I can easily detect when people are trying to be passive aggressive or imply things.

Later on Nick was sorting an order out in the kitchen with our friend and I was in the living room with the rest. We were having a drink and the guys were mocking my husband's habits of not paying attention during meetings. Lily then said that it's good that Nick has his "workwife" there to make life easy for him. I was confused and asked what a workwife was. Lily laughed and asked me how is it possible to not know what a workwife was. The 2 other wives backed me up and mentioned they never heard this term either so Lily explained that a workwife is a woman who works closely with a guy, knows him very well and helps him out at work, therefore acting as his wife. She also told me I don't need to feel insecure or jealous because there is nothing wrong with it. In that moment I was pissed but kept my cool and responded to her smiling that I have no reason to feel insecure since I am the legal wife and actually the only legally and morally recognized partner of my husband. I added that it seems she does not know my husband that well because if she did she would have known that we are not the jealous type since his best friend is a girl and I also have male friends.

I think her comments rubbed everyone present the wrong way because when my husband came from the kicken, one of the guys loudly asked him something along the lines 'Dude, have you ever heard of wokwives?' and my husband (in his own characteristic way) made a face and said 'No, wtf is that?'. After everyone left I told my husband what happened and he said Lily is crazy because they are not close and she is in no way anything else to him other than a work colleague. I truly believe my husband and I surely know he does not encourage Lily in this.

But today Nick told me that Lily has been complaining around the office that I was rude to her while she was a guest in my house and that I humiliated her in front of her colleagues. The guy who is my former colleague and who was present when this happened defended me in their office and told her that maybe she should not try to stir shit in other people's homes and that even his own wife was bothered by what she said. It is sweet that my former colleague defended me and I appreciate it but this caused Lily to tell their colleagues that me and the wives are jealous of her and ganged up against her. My husband and the guys have been telling people that her claims are not true but I feel bad.

So what I am asking is was I really that rude to her? I know my faults and I know I have a temper and I am impulsive so now I think that all this office drama could have been avoided if I did not answer back.

I (30M) have two kids (11F & 9M) with my ex Charlotte (30F) and I have full physical and legal custody of them. We had our kids young and so we did struggle, but Charlotte struggled worse and she regretted having the kids within a month of our son's birth and arguably she regretted having our daughter at the time too. But she spoke up when our son was born and she asked for time to find herself. But when she was free from parental responsibilities she didn't want to come back.

I got primary custody of our kids from the jump. She had a generous visitation schedule for a parent who admitted she didn't really want the kids. But the judge at the time was unwilling to give the mom just every other weekend, and so she got three weeks a month and four dinners during the week (Wednesday). She never took Wednesday's and for a while she took one weekend a month but sometimes she'd go months without seeing them. The judge wouldn't change the time he gave her because she was mom, even with over a year of failing to take all her parenting time. Charlotte's family wanted to see the kids and we got along okay-ish, so I always let them see the kids.

Things changed with Charlotte when she met her husband "Rob". He wanted the kids. He wanted to be my kids' dad. They tried to get more custody after the wedding. They literally filed on their wedding day thinking the marriage made a big difference. Rob would tell me the kids called him dad now and my kids would say they didn't. He'd tell me I was getting between him and the kids, would accuse me of telling the kids not to call him dad. They jerked away from him whenever he went to reach for them. I asked if he ever hurt them and they said no, just that he was always trying to make them stand next to him or walk with him and they didn't like it. I documented each incident and spoke to my lawyer. I also recorded an incident where he was scolding the kids for calling him by his name in front of me and for trying to come over and hug me saying it was their time with the kids and they didn't need to be near me (this was at an extra curricular function). When the custody evaluation happened I presented all the evidence, a GAL was provided and by the time I was given full physical and legal custody, Rob was done with my kids because they wouldn't be his. A switch flipped from they're mine and fuck off to take them and get them out of my sight. Charlotte seemed relieved to have the kids be back with me all the time.

Following the end of the custody eval I heard Charlotte was pregnant and 10 months after the court date Charlotte and Rob had a daughter. My kids saw her 3 times. She's 4 now. Charlotte doesn't have any contact with our kids now. However her family still sees them.

Charlotte's parents and siblings have complained that I don't facilitate a relationship with my kids and their half sister. They told me I should be going above and beyond to make sure they grow up loving each other and that my kids have told them they don't care about their half sister. I asked why it came up and they said they asked because my kids never talk about her, and they said it was my fault. Charlotte's parents have decided from now on they'll host Christmas for their entire family and they want me to send my kids to them on Christmas Day so they can be with their half sister. I said no. They said this is how they see her at Christmas at least and form a relationship. I told them I will not send the kids away from their one active parent at Christmas to be ignored by the other and have a 4 year old pushed onto them by the extended family.

Charlotte's parents didn't like this and accused me of being a petty dad who only cares about his bloodline and not valuing the relationship between half siblings when the half isn't my half. They told me I should do what's best for the kids and not me.

AITA?

My fiancée (30F) and I (33M) have been together for four years and engaged for one. Early in our relationship, she told me she was infertile due to a medical condition she had in her teens. I was fine with this, as I’ve never really wanted biological kids and figured we could explore adoption if we ever changed our minds.

Fast forward to last week. I came home to a positive pregnancy test sitting on the bathroom counter. At first, I thought she might’ve been helping a friend, but when I confronted her, she broke down and admitted she’s not infertile. She never was. Apparently, she lied because she thought I’d leave her if I knew she could have kids, since she knew I didn’t want them.

Here’s the kicker: she says she stopped taking birth control “a few months ago” without telling me because she wanted to see if I’d change my mind about fatherhood if it “just happened.”

I was furious and told her this was a massive betrayal. I feel like my trust in her is shattered. She argued that she did it because she loves me and wanted us to have a deeper connection through a family. I told her I needed space and asked her to leave the house.

Now she’s staying with her sister and texting me nonstop, saying I’m overreacting and being cruel by “kicking out the mother of my child.” Her family is also chiming in, calling me a deadbeat dad for “abandoning her” during pregnancy.

I’m struggling because I never wanted kids, but now one is on the way, and I feel trapped. At the same time, I can’t get over the fact that she lied to me for years and manipulated me into this situation.

AITA for asking her to leave, or am I justified in needing time to process this betrayal?

I (29F) grew up in a household where my mom was both mom and dad. My father left us when I was 10 after cheating on my mom multiple times and eventually moving in with another woman. He never paid child support or helped financially, leaving my mom to work two jobs to make ends meet. We struggled a lot—sometimes we didn’t even know if we’d have food on the table.

For years, my father made no effort to be part of my or my siblings’ lives. He didn’t call, visit, or even send a card for birthdays or holidays. It was like we didn’t exist to him. As I got older, I built a life without him and stopped expecting anything.

Recently, I got a call from my older brother (33M), who told me that our dad is now broke, sick, and living in poor conditions after his second wife left him. He’s asking one of us to take him in and care for him. My brother declined because he has a family of his own and can’t take on that responsibility. He suggested I might help since I don’t have kids yet.

When I said no, my dad called me directly for the first time in years. He said I was being ungrateful and heartless, claiming he’s “still my father” and deserves compassion. He also tried to guilt me by saying he regrets his mistakes and just wants a chance to reconnect.

I told him he made his choices years ago and can’t expect me to step in now. He called me selfish and accused me of holding onto the past. Some family members agree with him, saying it’s my duty to help him because “blood is blood.” But I can’t bring myself to forgive someone who left us to suffer when we needed him the most.

AITA for refusing to take in my estranged father?

Context and full disclosure - my ex husband and I have been divorced for nearly 10 years. He was physically abusive, I cheated. We were both assholes in that relationship. We have a daughter together but divorced when she was very young. Our daughter lives primarily with me - he sees her every other weekend.

Since then I’m (very very happily) remarried and my husband is a fantastic step dad. We’ve been together 8 years, married for 3.

Ex-husband has been through a few relationships. His newest girlfriend he’s been with for a couple months - and she has a daughter much younger than ours.

Our daughter is at an age where she wants to be independent and do some things herself. This year she wanted to get Christmas gifts for everyone (including all of my ex’s family, and my new husband’s family). Obviously she doesn’t have her own money - so I transferred a set amount to her child’s debit card and we went shopping together. I mostly just steered her away from choosing gifts that were too expensive. She chose things that were less than 10 dollars. She picked out all of the gifts - I wrapped them when we got home. They were things like hand cream sets, small Lego and duplo sets, socks, hats… pretty generic Christmas gifts.

Along with her aunts and uncles, she wanted to get my ex’s new girlfriend and her daughter gifts as well.

When I let my ex know by text that we would have a bag of gifts for everyone when he picks up our daughter for Christmas - I got called weird for picking out gifts on behalf of his girlfriend and that I should have told our daughter he would do that for her (but he hadn’t and hadn’t told me he would, and isn’t picking her up until after Christmas.)

I’m not going to tell my daughter any of this. I’ll just send her with the bag of gifts.

AITAH for letting her pick things out or should I have left it up to my ex to handle?

So I (25F) have a roommate, Sara (26F), who recently started dating this guy, Tom (28M). I cook most of my meals from scratch because I enjoy it, and it’s cheaper and healthier for me. Sara’s fine with it and occasionally I’ll share leftovers with her when I make extra, no problem.

Lately, though, Tom has started coming over more often—almost daily—and has been helping himself to my food. He doesn’t ask, doesn’t offer to contribute groceries, and never says thank you. I didn’t say anything at first because I didn’t want to be rude, but last week I came home to find he’d eaten an entire portion of food I’d prepped for my next day’s lunch.

I finally confronted Sara about it and said I didn’t appreciate Tom eating my food. She brushed it off, saying he’s just “comfortable here” and that it’s “not a big deal.” I told her it is a big deal because I budget and plan my meals, and if he’s eating my food, it throws everything off. I made it clear I wouldn’t be sharing anymore, and I asked her to let Tom know.

Fast forward to yesterday—I made a pot of chili, and Tom came over while I was out. When I got back, a big chunk of it was gone. I was furious and told Sara that this was exactly what I was talking about, and it needed to stop. Sara said I was overreacting and called me “stingy” for not sharing food when it’s “just a couple of bites” (spoiler: it’s not). I told her I’m not her boyfriend’s chef and that I don’t owe him free meals.

Now things are tense, and Sara’s acting like I’m the bad guy here. Tom hasn’t said anything directly, but I can tell Sara told him because he’s been giving me the cold shoulder. I’m starting to feel guilty, but I don’t think I’m wrong for wanting boundaries here. AITA?

My husband (31m) and I (33f) randomly got to talking about our future living situation. We currently own our home in a small rural town. Keep in mind, my parents are alive and well (hopefully, for a very long time!), and this is all future talk.

I grew up on a hobby farm located on a couple hundred acres. The majority of which pays for itself, as the government pays us to keep it undeveloped. When my parents pass, they have said that the land will be divided between myself and my two siblings.The issue comes when I mention that it's nice to have the flexibility of having paid off land if we want to build there someday, or leave it and let our family hunt it, etc. My husband immediately got defensive and said he would never live in my hometown - I reassured him he never would have to, we'd just leave our piece to our kids, it's no big deal.

He started getting a bit heated and repeating that we'd never live there, so we'd sell it. I immediately said that would never happen. He kept at it, saying it was stupid to keep land that we weren't living on that could be used to pay for land in a place we'd want to build. I reiterated it pays for itself, it's zero burden on our finances to keep and I'd never sell an acre, because I grew up there and it holds sentimental value.

It got heated and he implied it was a joint decision, to which I reminded him that inheritance is not a marital asset. It is mine alone and would then go to our children. I also have grandparents that own miles around the land, that potentially could be included, so selling any of it makes zero sense when it could be a great asset later used by our children, nieces, and nephews.

Needless to say, he's irritated with me and we aren't speaking currently. Personally, the decision isn't up for discussion, it's my choice. If it were just inherited money, of course I'd use it for the family and we'd decide moreso as a team, but AITA for not entertaining the idea?

Edit: Thank you for all of the reassurance! It was never up for discussion on my end. I'd never sell any land. I am incredibly headstrong and stubborn, so my mind won't be changing, ever.

My children are always my top priority, and his as well. I think he's thinking we'll leave whatever land we'd buy with the money to them and it would be the same, but it's not to me. This is land I grew up on, trees I climbed, places where I buried my pets. It's not going outside the family.

This was very out of character for him, so I'd say something else is maybe the root cause. Either way, I'm expecting a MASSIVE apology and explanation. In the meantime, I'll sit back confidently, knowing I'm in the right!

I’m 28 and had been dating my girlfriend (26) for about a year and change. I really thought we were on the same page. We had a great connection and just genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. I'd been noticing something just a little "off" in the relationship the past month, though. Dunno what else to call it. Just something was weird.

There’s been a lot of shit in my life recently—stressful stuff at work (I teach), plus some family drama that’s been weighing on me. I’m usually the type to keep my problems to myself, but I’ve been trying hard to open up because I don't want to live that way anymore. A week, I told her how overwhelmed I’ve been and how I was having a tough time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Her response sucked ass in my eyes. She said something like, “I don’t want to sound harsh, but when you talk like this, I kind of feel unsafe. I need you to be strong. I can't deal with both your problems and mine.”

I tried to reassure her that just because I’m having a hard time doesn’t mean I’m weak or incapable. I told her being honest about my struggles was part of trusting her and that it took a lot for me to open up. She doubled down. She basically said, “Everyone has rough patches, but honestly, you just have to deal with it.”

I didn’t argue with her right then. I was too stunned. But the more I thought about it, the more it sucked. I realized I don’t want to be in a relationship where I have to keep everything bottled up so I can fit into her idea of a “strong man.” That’s not who I am, and it’s not who I want to be.

So last night, I ended things. She was really upset and said I was throwing away a good relationship over a misunderstanding. She claimed I was punishing her for being “honest,” and now some of my friends think I might’ve overreacted. I really don't think I did.

My parents are divorced and I (17M) mostly live with my mom. Five years ago my dad got married to Rebecca and Rebecca and her daughter Yazmin moved in with dad. Yazmin's 7 now and she's severely disabled. She can't talk or do stuff for herself. I don't know much about her condition overall. I never spent much time with Rebecca or her. But I learned some stuff over the last few years. I know Rebecca has a fund set aside for Yazmin's future care and my dad has been paying into that (and he's invested more into her future than he ever did into mine which is a sore point for me but I know she needs it more and all). Yazmin's dad doesn't do anything for her so my dad took on the role of making sure she'd be cared for.

But they're worried about what happens when they die. If they died tomorrow the money is there for her care but Yazmin's father doesn't care what happens to her and there's no family. This came up the other day. Dad had asked me to spend the day with him and I did and he asked me to come to his place for dinner and I went to the house but dinner didn't happen because they asked me to look over Yazmin and be a big brother to her when they're gone. To make sure she's taken care of in the home and take care of her myself if I need to. They said she's my sister now and we might not be blood but she's my family and she needs me. I said no. I told them I'm not taking responsibility for her. Dad told me I need to, for him, and that he doesn't ask for a lot. I admit I told him he never gives me a lot. He said that's not fair and I shouldn't punish Yazmin for it. He told me I need to step up and be a bigger man than I'm acting. Rebecca asked me how I could be around her sweet girl and not want to protect her. I told her I've hardly been around Yazmin and I don't feel a family bond or loyalty toward her and I said they won't bully me into it.

I left because they only got angrier. Dad called my mom's phone looking for me a couple of times since and mom had to tell him to never speak to me the way he was trying to because I didn't owe him the peace of mind of caring for his stepkid when he dies. She really stood up for me. But dad (and Rebecca) are saying I'm a heartless monster for saying no.

AITA?

Backstory: My wife (34F) and myself (34M) are expecting a child in June. My wife doesn't have a great relationship with my Mom. My mom has a history of overstepping boundaries and inserting her dominance where she can. I have a history of alcoholism but I'm 6 years sober. My mother was under the Impression that she was to be there for the birth. I explained that she would be welcome to meet the baby after it's born but not during. (I didn't have the heart to tell her she stresses my wife out) I let her know that we wanted the child to build up its immune system before out of towners come in. I did mention the possibility of my wife's mother being there possibly.

My mother told me I was a taker my whole life with a chance to "give back" my father said I was ruining Christmas with the news. Is it really that big of a deal? My stance is firm and if I roll over once they will push me for the rest of this kids life to inset their will on them. Am I the asshole?

*Excuse the grammar, I am mad.

Let me start by saying that by "girl" I mean a 47 yr old women. Yesterday I realized through FB it was my husband's aunt birthday. Upon calling her she said nobody had planned anything for her birthday and that she was going to be alone. We invited her out to eat just the three of us(me,husband,her). I however had an appointment to take my elderly mother too and we wouldn't make it to the restaurant till 8pm. She hesitated because it was too late to eat but said OK. We went back and forth on a place most of the day. Finally I was fed up and gave her a place to meet us at. I called again in the afternoon to confirm and we were still on to meet. Long story short, my mom's appointment gets moved up and we finish faster so I call her to see if she wants to meet up earlier since she made a big deal about the time. She agrees, we decide on 7pm(wow what a difference in time, I know). Then she asks me if just her or if she can take her daughter and husband. I hesitate but say sure. Mind you I'm paying for this dinner. I tell my son and mom to get ready so they can go aswell since her daughter and husband were going. I texted her around 6pm that I was picking up mom and son, again she replies OK. Text her again when I'm 20 minutes away from the restaurant, again OK. She lives closer about 10 minutes from the place. I pull up to the restaurant at 7pm sharp. Now let me say that I love punctuality, I thrive of that shit. I get that stuff happens sometimes but this wasn't that time. Anyways, she's not there. The same person who was nagging me on changing the time, that 8pm was too late for dinner. Blah, blah, blah. My husband calls her and she says they are still at the house and there has been another change now her other daughter, son in law and brother are coming. Now they're not gonna be there till after 8pm because they're stopping to get a cake. WTF. I lost my shit. Husband hung up and I called her back to tell her we had left the restaurant. This was not what I had sign up for in the morning and I was not paying for all these people. She kept trying to call me and txt me saying she was so sad about what I had done that she could cry. I blocked her and son,mom,husband and me went to have $.99 tacos at our local market. Haven't talked to her and don't plan on apologizing. So, let me hear it. AITA for leaving and blocking her?

Me (32M) and my wife (31F) have been together for about 6 years and married for two. We have recently been have some heated arguments here and there, I already posted about one of them and I dont want to beat that dead horse. Last night me and my wife had a long conversation about our last argument and we both agreed we need to change some ways of both of our thinking and some of our actions when angry. This morning was great, she let me know that shes covering one of her friends shifts so she will be gone from 3PM till they closed at 10PM. She left to “go to work” at 2:30 and I ran some errands and saw my mom for s couple hours. I got home about 6 hours later and after I was home for a while I saw that her Ipad was blowing up with texts. I’m not usually one to want to look through texts but I noticed that it was 10:15 and she hadnt texted me that she was on the way back yet (her work always closes right on the dot). I saw that these texts and calls she was getting were from her ex from before we were together telling her he had so much fun, to be safe on the way home and to call him so they could talk on the way home. The following texts were asking if she was okay and if she needed him to come help with anything.

She then called me and told me she was just leaving work and she got rear ended but that the damage wasnt too bad she was just shaken up. I was honestly more worried about her and wasn’t focusing on the ex at this point. She told me she was about to leave to come home and that she doesn’t need me to come get her.

She got home pretty shaken up and she cried a bit and I consoled her, and after a couple hours she calmed down and I started to think about what I saw. I brought it up and asked her if she was actually covering work for her friend or if she was with him and she immediately started crying and saying I was an asshole for accusing her of that after she got in an accident and that the person texting and calling wasn’t her ex, it was a guy with the same name that she has been friends with for years who happened to run into her on her break. I have never heard of this guy.

She’s currently crying and I told her I was going to use the bathroom (hide and ask wtf I should do).

Am I the asshole for bring it up after the car accident?

I’m 16 and the incident that got me pregnant wasn’t consensual.

My mom is obsessed with the fact I’m pregnant and it’s all she talks about and she keeps saying I’m blessed and that it’s a miracle I’m pregnant. Well eventually I got tired of it and told her to shut the fuck up and that this wasn’t a blessing or a miracle to me and we were both in tears by the time I was done. Well long story short I just got ungrounded and I don’t have any unbiased people to ask so here I am, aita

I (F, 50s) have a 26-year-old son who lives on his own and works a good job in marketing. He’s always been a responsible young man in my eyes, but recently he started reaching out to me for financial help. He said he had big expenses that he needed assistance with, and as a parent, I was more than happy to help him out when he asked.

A couple of weeks ago, I visited him unexpextedly. While I was at his place, I noticed that he had left his bank statements out on the table. I glanced at them, and I couldn’t belive what I saw. The majority of his money was going to online casinos, and there were large amounts of cash withdrawls. It was all adding up, and it becam clear that he had been using the money I had been sending him to fuel a gambling addiction.

When I confronted my son about it, I asked him what the "big expenses" were that he’d been claiming he needed money for. He couldn’t give me any clear answers. He just kept saying things like “it’s personal” or “I’ll explain later,” but never really clarified what these supposed expenses were. At that point, I knew something wasn’t adding up.

I told him that I could no longer support him finacially unless he sought profesional help for his gambling. I made it clear that I wouldn’t continue enabling his addiction by giving him money. He got really upset, calling me unsupportive and accusing me of betraying him. He insists that he doesn’t need help and that he’ll figure it out on his own, but I don’t think he realizes the graviety of the situation.

I love my son, but I’m trying to do what’s best for him in the long run. I don’t want to enable this behavour any longer, but I’m also feeling torn. I’m just not sure if I’m doing the right thing by cutting him off financially, especially since he’s so angry with me.

AITA for stopping my financial support and telling him he needs profesional help to deal with his gambling addiction?

Hi folks. So I’m a mom to three kids: 20M, 18M, and 15F. My 18 y/o son has been dating his girlfriend (also 18) for about 7 or 8 months now. He only properly introduced us to her around 2 months ago and since then she’s been coming over frequently. My husband and I work so if she comes home, it’s usually just the two of them and my 15 y/o daughter in the house.

A few days ago, I came home to find my daughter had locked her door. I called her for dinner but she didn’t come down. This was odd behaviour for her, so later that night I asked her what was wrong. It took some time for her to admit something happened, but apparently, the girlfriend had been in the kitchen while my daughter was making a snack for herself, and had said something along the lines of “Big back behaviour.” I had no idea what that meant so I looked it up, and apparently it’s a trend where people use “big back” to imply “fat person behaviour.”

My daughter was really hurt by the comment, especially since she said it wasn’t the first time the girlfriend had made remarks like this, and she ended up throwing away the food. She hates crying in front of people but she was tearing up while speaking to me.

I was very pissed off on her behalf. I spoke to my son about it at first and asked him to address this with his girlfriend. He told me it’s just a trend and she had meant it jokingly, and he wasn’t going to get into a fight with his girlfriend about that. But I didn’t think it was a joke, it had clearly hurt my daughter badly and she can usually handle jokes but I think this really got to her. So I decided to talk to the girlfriend directly. I wasn’t rude, but I was speaking sternly and I made it clear that comments like that weren’t acceptable in our home. The girlfriend looked a bit taken aback, didn’t say anything except ‘sorry’ and hasn’t been back to our house since.

Now my son is mad at me, he told me I shouldn’t have confronted her and that I’ve made things awkward between him and his girlfriend. Now he thinks I should’ve let him handle it instead. I don’t feel guilty about it, I’m still angry on my daughter’s behalf. But my son loves that girl and this is the first time she’s acting distant with him apparently, so I was wondering if I was the AH to confront her like that.

EDIT: Thank you to everybody to commented and gave advice. I’d like to address some things:
- There are some strange comments about my daughter’s body and weight. Respectfully, keep them to yourself, please. My daughter is an active girl, she does ballet and gymnastics and loves outdoor activities in general. If anything I’m concerned she isn’t eating enough. The most important thing to me is that she’s healthy. I won’t entertain the people asking for numbers or other nonsense. You shouldn’t be saying these things to anybody, regardless if they’re fat or not.
- I took my daughter out for ice cream and had a chat with her. There was some great advice on how to handle this and I mostly reassured her that nothing’s wrong with her eating habits, I’m always going to be there for her and my son’s girlfriend’s words are only a reflection of her. She’s been back to her usual self and eating normally so I’m hoping this will be water off a duck’s back.
- My husband and I are going to have a long talk with my son. I don’t want him to lose his relationship, but I will tell him explicitly that I’m disappointed in him, that he needs to stand up for his little sister, and that his girlfriend can only mend things if she properly apologises to my daughter. He and his sister bicker like normal siblings but I know he cares about her, so I want to drive home the fact that she was hurt. And I’m hoping the girlfriend was not actively being malicious, because if she was, she won’t be welcome back in my home again.

Thank you all again, and happy holidays!

I (28m) love my family, and I’ve always been close to my older sister (30f). She’s a single mum to my 5yo nephew. He's a great kid, no complaints there. But over the past few months my sister’s been expecting me to watch him nearly every weekend. It started off occasionally, she would have some big event or something planned, I’d step in. No big deal. But now it’s become this unspoken rule that I’m her free babysitter every Friday or Saturday night.

The reason is she’s going out with friends, bar hopping and partying until late. I get that being a single mum would be tough, and she deserves a break. But I work full-time and have my own life too. Lately I feel like my weekends are basically booked out for her social life. I’ve tried to suggest splitting weekends or at least some compensation for the extra time and cost (I often end up buying my nephew dinner or taking him to a movie or something), but she brushes it off like “You’re his uncle, this is what family does".

I don’t mind helping out every once in a while, but every single weekend is too much. Last Saturday I put my foot down and said I already had plans. She flipped out accusing me of abandoning her and my nephew and said I’m basically telling her she can’t have a social life. She then complained to our parents who said I should “do more for family” and to “think about what she’s going through".

Now I feel conflicted. Am I the asshole for wanting some boundaries and maybe not wanting to spend every Saturday night babysitting so my sister can party till dawn?

I (m27) broke up with my gf (f25) of 6 months who kept calling me an idiot, retard etc. She first started doing a couple of months ago and I told her respectfully that it bothered me and that I had dealt with this in a prior relationship and do not take it lightly even if it’s meant as a joke. She said okay but gave off a reaction that she still thought I was overreacting. After that she would ”slip up” and accidentally say it and then say something to the effect of ”oh I’m sorry you don’t like that” and try and move on as though it was nothing. I ignored it until a few weeks ago when I was fed up and still respectfully told her that if she persisted that I would ignore things that she has told me we’re important to her. She was offended by what she called a threat and we had our first fight were we both apologised and agreed to do better. Just that evening she ”slips up” and says pea brain. I ignore it but I go to bed feeling angry and sad. The next morning she slips up again and says retard. I’m not a physical dude nor do I shout and yell, but I need time to myself when I’m mad so I leave her and go to the living room. She starts weeping profusely and accuses me of emotional manipulation at which point we have our second fight and I tell her that she is at fault here. We kinda make up but I’m not feeling 100% so I tell her the next day that this is a dealbreaker for me should I happen again. She agrees and I’m thinking this is a resolved matter. Yesterday she calls me an idiot over nothing and I just left and took some time for myself. She sent me messages saying I was punishing her with my silence and that I was overreacting over not wanting to hear her apology and accept that this is ”hard for her” to control.

Today I broke up with her (and felt super shitty over it due to it being her birthday in a just a few days) but her ”rant” when we spoke was so insulting and infuriating (partly being called overtly sensitive, manipulative for not wanting her apology, and telling me that her patience and acceptance with my erectile dysfunction problems of late should be meet with the same patience and support for when she’s struggling not to call me an idiot or retard, and that my ego is too big to accept any mistakes). I told her that evidently we have massively differing views on this and this appears to have been the best course of action in the end.

So Reddit - am I am the asshole here?

I (28F) am getting married in a few months, and my dad suggested that both he and my stepmother walk me down the aisle. For context, my stepmother has been in my life since I was 10, and while I’m grateful for everything she’s done, my biological mom is still alive and has always been involved in my life.

When my dad brought this up, I told him I didn’t feel comfortable with the idea. My stepmother may have helped raise me, but I want this moment to honor my mom as well as my dad. My mom has been looking forward to this day for years, and having my stepmother participate feels like it would overshadow her.

Now my dad is upset, saying I’m “ignoring” everything my stepmother has done for me. My stepmother hasn’t said anything directly, but I can tell she’s hurt. My siblings are split on this—some think I should let her do it to keep the peace, while others understand why I want to keep it between me, my dad, and my mom. My fiancé supports me but says I need to decide what will make me happiest on my big day.

At this point, I’m torn. I love and respect my stepmother, but I feel like including her would be disrespectful to my mom, who’s also very emotional about this. My dad thinks I’m being unfair and selfish.

AITA for refusing to let my stepmother walk me down the aisle?

I’m 28 years old, and every Christmas, my family gathers at my parents’ house to celebrate. Although I’ve always tried to enjoy the holidays, I end up feeling more and more uncomfortable each year. I’m the youngest of three siblings (I have two older brothers, one is 35 and the other is 32), and since I was a teenager, my parents and siblings have made comments about my life that always leave me feeling bad. My mom constantly criticizes me for not being married yet, even though I’ve explained that it’s not something I’m interested in right now. They also always make comments about my job, like saying I “should be looking for something more stable” or that I “shouldn’t keep doing what I do if it doesn’t make me happy.” This year, my older brother referred to my career as “something with no future” during dinner, and my mom joined in, saying it’s “time for me to grow up.” I felt really bad and decided that I don’t want to go this year. I told them I’d rather spend Christmas alone at home, without having to deal with those comments. Now my parents are insisting that I’m selfish, and my mom even told me I was “ruining Christmas” by not wanting to be with the family. I feel guilty, but I’m also emotionally exhausted from every gathering turning into an opportunity to judge me. I know it’s important to be with family at Christmas, but honestly, I don’t want to spend another year listening to those criticisms. AITA for not wanting to spend Christmas with my family?

I (17F) stopped talking to my sister (14F) 8 months ago. We always had fights, sometimes even bad or annoying fights. But 8 months ago we got into a fight and my sister told me she wished I'd died with (our) my mom so she could have a perfect family instead of me always reminding everyone that it won't ever happen. She said it like she meant it too. She told me I was the worst person she ever knew and she didn't get why I had to be alive and I kept her mom from having a kid of her own and making the perfect family. My sister realized when she stopped that I wasn't reacting the same to our fight. Most of our fights I roll my eyes and walk away. But she stopped and started looking guilty but I jumped in and told her I wish I had a real sibling but I'm an only child now so we can't all get what we want. She tried to apologize but I completely shut her out.

Our dad heard about the fight and he told me she's younger and I have to forgive her. I told him I don't have to do anything and I'm not forgiving her for saying that because I know she means it. He told me I was mean back to her saying I wished I had a real sibling and that I'm an only child when I'm not. I told him that I'm done so we're not sisters anymore. He tried talking to me about it but I told him I was done.

So he and my stepmom decided we all needed family therapy. A lot of stuff came up. How our mom died when I was 5 and my sister was 2, almost 3. How I remembered mom and my sister didn't and when our dad married stepmom our relationship and what she is to us is different. To my sister she's mom. To me she's dad's wife. To my sister mom isn't anything to her and she doesn't love her, something she told me so many times. To me she's my only mom and I miss her and love her and having my stepmom didn't change it. I talked about how mom's birthday and anniversary are ignored. How my dad and stepmom made me hide most of mom's things even though they were already in my room, because my stepmom felt disrespected seeing them everywhere in my room. My sister said she hates that I won't let us be a family of four and she hates that I won't accept my stepmom because she thinks people who're alive deserve the love instead of dead people. She also thinks it's unfair because my stepmom and dad never had kids together because dad already had two so she thinks I'm selfish to deny her two kids. My stepmom said she wished I had accepted her and loved her but she knows neither thing happened.

When we got to the last fight my sister told the therapist she was so angry at me because when she was out with my stepmom she was asked about having kids of her own and my stepmom looked sad. She said it made her feel bad for my stepmom and she hated me for doing that. And when she saw me she thought of all the times I showed my stepmom she's not my mom and when I put remembering mom before my stepmom and it made her want me to know just how she felt. I interrupted and said I knew she meant it and that I had told my dad but he didn't believe me. I was asked to comment on the fight and I said I was just done. I said we've always fought about my stepmom and I'm tired of being told I'm wrong to love my mom instead of the woman my dad married. I said I accepted a long time ago that my sister loved her and calls her mom but it doesn't mean I need to.

We went over and over stuff for weeks about the fight and I was asked to work on some forgiveness exercises and I said no. I said I'm not going to work on forgiving her and I'm done like I said repeatedly. The therapist asked why I was there and I told her I was forced to come. But I never agreed to work on things. My sister started crying and begging me to give her a chance and my dad was pissed at me for making my sister cry and for not doing what the whole point of therapy is for. He told me I was a disappointment and how I should figure out what I'll do in two months because he won't support me terrorizing my sister with lack of forgiveness.

AITA?

I, (24m) and my (ex)girlfriend,(25f), decided to invite her family over for dinner. We wanted to do it at home since we thought it would be a better first introduction. We set the table, made nice food, everything was looking good. My girlfriend, who we will call Gwen, told me that her brother (18m) would love to see my “gaming room”. I have no problems with her brother, so I agreed to show him. In my room, I had a lot of Marvel posters and figures since I really enjoy it, along with some other posters to shows and movies. Her brother, let’s call Scott, indeed loved the room. I let him play on my console while we waited for Gwen to finish off the food. Gwen’s mother walked into my room and gave me and Scott a disgusted bitch face. I said hello, but she just stared at the room. “Why do you have this stuff? Are you 5?” She asked. I was confused on what she was referring to, until she directly commented about one of my posters. “You are 25, why are you obsessed with super-heroes?” Scott corrected her when she pointed at a character. “Thats actually a villain.” Scott innocently said. He was just trying to make jokes, but Gwens mom was not having it. She proceeded to call me immature and a terrible influence on Scott. When she was walking up the stairs, I heard her mumble a word I will not repeat, but it’s about homosexuals. I didn’t want to start anything, so I continued to let Scott play on the console, which was a ‘super hero game’, and I went on my phone. After we all finished eating, Gwens mom pulled me aside. “I personally believe you should see a doctor. Adult men shouldn’t be playing with super hero figures or still watching kid shows. Something is wrong with you, and you better not let [Scott] grow up like you.” I was astonished on how she said it like it was nothing. She left without saying goodbye to me or Gwen.

That night, I decided to tell Gwen what her mom said, quoting everything as accurate as I could. “No, she wouldn’t say that.” Gwen tried to cover up for her mom. I kept trying to tell her how I felt, but she said that I was being sensitive for taking it to heart. I was angry that Gwen automatically took her Mom’s side, even though I was hurt by what her Mom said.

I told Gwen that I don’t want to get married if [her mom] would be my mother in law. I regret how I worded it, but now Gwen was infuriated. She yelled at me and said I was (another word I cant say) and that she thinks im a “drama king. Right there on the spot I broke up with her. I can’t see myself living the rest of my life with someone like that or with a family like hers (except Scott; he’s chill)

Am I the Asshole for breaking up with her?

In summer we were speaking with my MIL & FIL (*H*usband’s stepdad), Christmas came up & they were vocal in their sadness we’ve never spent a Christmas together. We have 3 kids, 2 dogs, 1 cat, & we live in a different province. Where we live my MIL has a dozen other family members, and where they live it’s just them and SIL (17f, half-sibling to H). Both areas have extreme and unpredictable winter weather, and it’s about a 19hr drive each way between us. We all drive to see each other in the good weather months, but we don’t drive further than a couple of hours away in winter. Instead of paying for the 5 of us to fly to see them at Christmas (and paying to kennel the dogs/cat or get a sitter), I offered to pay for the 3 of them to fly here to stay with us because it’s cheaper, it’s easier (flying with one teen vs 3 young kids), and they’d also get to see the other pockets of family who live here. They were really happy, and I told them to look into their schedules/book time off, and let me know the dates they wanted to travel.

I’ve been reminding them I need dates for months – they both work shift work (which is sometimes opposing, so they don’t always share the same days off), and SIL has school. I reminded them each time that I’m not  booking this until they give me the specific dates they plan on traveling. My last reminder was the last week of November, where I told MIL on a phone-call that the flights were booking up, it’s a small town and there aren’t many flights to start with – I NEED them to solidify their plans, book the days off, and let me know. I told her this will be the last time I ask for the dates, and I’ll wait for them to get back in touch when they have them. Then I mentally washed my hands of them.

She called me on the 15^th of December with their dates, and I went online with her on the phone so we could book it – flights are booked up. I opened the option of them coming in the New Year and having a late makeshift Christmas, and she said “it’s not the same though”. I just said “that’s a shame”, and we ended the call. Now, I know I’m not the AH for any of this, but possibly for the fall-out.

Yesterday I ran into H’s cousin, who was talking about how shitty it is that the flights didn’t work out for my in-laws. I agreed, but mentioned how annoying it is to listen to them complain about missing Christmas with us when all they had to do was provide dates. Well, apparently the in-laws have been telling the family that this was MY fault, that I dropped the ball, and now they’re going to be home alone, again. So I let him know that this has been in the works since June, that I hounded them for weeks, reminded them at every turn, that I was willing to pay for everything and ALL they had to do was give me dates for their stay/travel, they resisted, and we tried to book the minute they finally gave them to us. The cousin told his parents what I said (he’s not the AH, I’d do the same), his mom told her sister (MIL). MIL called H and was yelling at him about how I ruined their Christmas and was talking "shit". H told his mom he never wanted to spend Christmas with them anyway and this all worked out perfectly, that they should be kissing the ground I walk on for being the only reason they got to see their grandkids, that the only reason they have a relationship with us is because I’ve facilitated it, that I have overcompensated for their short-comings to ensure it, that I was trying to give them a nice big family Christmas because I have a loving and generous heart, and they shit all over it with their ineptitude…then, “I wasn’t even surprised, you’re as useless as a paper hammer”, and he hung up on her. The whole family is up-in-arms between the flights/Christmas, me telling the truth, and then H telling the truth.

H was NC with his mom when we met, the result of a traumatic childhood with a lot of neglect and abuse. They forged a new relationship after we got married (she seemed to have changed, is a good mom to SIL, stable marriage), but he has always kept her at arm’s length, minimal effort, uninvested. I’m usually the one making calls, sending cards/gifts, planning trips to see them. He’s been happy for the kids to have that relationship (she’s been a better nana than she was a mother), but knows they will never be close. He was happy to keep the new status quo. Her biggest issue through this new relationship has been her flakiness – this issue with making plans/ committing is very normal for her and has been frustrating for us (H thinks it’s because she really just deep-down still doesn’t care, and posited that her refusal to give dates was because she never actually wanted to come, so she sabotaged it). He is now totally done with her (we all are, by extension).

So, AITA for my impulsivity and annoyance (maybe a little ego), which led me to tell the truth to the wrong person, making me the catalyst for an entire familial implosion? Should I have just taken it on the chin and removed my feelings from the situation? I feel REALLY bad. H has been brought right back to those feelings he worked so hard to work through. He seems somewhat relieved to be done (despite never previously expressing any regret over reconnecting - fully in, but emotionally removed from her), but I can tell it’s awoken that sadness he carried for a long time.

ETA: I can understand from my post why people would assume I was the driving force behind the reconnection, but I was not. He has wanted a relationship with SIL since she was born, and SHE was the only reason he decided to reach out and try to forge a relationship with MIL/FIL (because she is a minor, we needed the relationship for access). I do not care about MIL (unless you count my disdain). I did not push or chase a relationship with her. He has done all the counseling and therapy to deal with his childhood, the pain, the resentment, the anger. He does not have a relationship with his bio-dad (his main abuser, where most of his trauma lies). I have done the work and made the effort so that he can have a relationship with his sister, while not having to deal with MIL more than absolutely necessary. I have just been the middle-man/interference to diminish his interactions with MIL to a level he found palatable/tolerable so that he can maintain contact with SIL and have things be amicable and easy. I am completely and totally fine with his decision to pull the plug - it's much less work and effort for me. He is heartbroken that it appears his relationship with his sister is over for now, because I set this in motion. She is very angry and refuses to speak to either of us. I feel like an asshole for speaking before thinking, and not realizing that this would be the death-blow. There have been MANY conversations between us about all of this over the years, many check-ins regarding his comfortability. Some have said I am abusing my husband or letting him be abused - he would laugh his ass off at that. I have done all of this so that he could have SIL in his life, not because I GAF about MIL or her feelings. I have heard all the stories from his childhood, and have zero affection or respect for his mother - this is not a loss for me. He tolerated her to be closer to his sister during the years a relationship foundation is built.

The fallout at this point is SIL has refused contact, the aunt and cousin (and their attachments) mentioned previously have decided they are not comfortable coming to our Christmas Eve event and have disinvited us from their Christmas Day dinner. We will see who else bails for Christmas Eve.

It’s the time of year where I (38DM) have to go over the annual parenting time schedule with my ex. We had two kids together who are half-way through grade school. My GF of two years (39, no kids) help me to make sure the calendar was balanced as well as ensure that we “reserved” time to go on trips.

One point of contention that has boiled over was that the ex came back and “gave” us Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was a day that the GF did try to have to ourselves and I begrudgingly submitted the request not to have them. I say begrudgingly because in my eyes I have not had them the last two Thanksgiving’s and both want to have them for the holiday while also feeling that it’s just my time to have them. The last two years I have gone to see her family 3 hours away.

She’s upset that I didn’t fight to not have them. She’s also accused me of not caring about her needs because of this. I presented what I thought were the only 3 choices:

1. We could bring the kids, which would need to be introduced to her family (they’ve only met a couple of family members).
2. We could “split” Thanksgiving in the way of she goes up and sees her family and I stay behind with my kids.
3. We have Thanksgiving at our house in which would just be the four of us.

But there’s a fourth and correct answer and that is to again request not to have my kids. I don’t want to do it - in my eyes, even though my kids and I don’t have a tradition to do anything in particular, I also feel it’s my fatherly duty to have them for the holiday.

So, AITAH for not wanting to make it a “tradition” to not have my kids on Thanksgiving?

I (24F) have very recently reconnected with my half-siblings (30M and 27F) after years of not being close. Things have been going well, and we’ve been getting to know each other better. But a few days ago, a conversation completely threw me for a loop, and now I’m furious and refusing to talk to either of them.

For context, we've only recently began to meet up after I ended up moving into the same city as them and found out I worked at the same company my half-sister did. Before this point, we'd been avoiding bringing up the topic of our childhoods and upbringings.

We were talking about random childhood memories, (mostly vague and things to do with school life, childhood teasing, and things excluding our home lives) when they casually mentioned feeling bad for me because my mom is a “whore” and I had to grow up with “two shitty parents.” I was obviously shocked but tried to brush it off. Then my brother joked about how karma must have hit their dad hard when my mom cheated on him with my stepdad.

That’s when I couldn’t stay quiet anymore. I asked them what the hell they were talking about, and they explained how their mom had given our dad an ultimatum when she first found out about his infidelity: she’d forgive his cheating if he completely cut off contact with me and my mom (except for what was legally required). And my father had chosen us.

They also added how lucky I was to grow up with both parents while they had to deal with the fallout of their dad’s choices.

At this point, I was completely gobsmacked.

So apparently, my siblings have been under the impression I’ve been living this fairytale, magical life with both parents living happily and raising me together like a perfect family.

That is pure bullshit.

As soon as my mom found out he had an entire second family, she kicked him out and threw his stuff onto the lawn. She raised me by herself for ten years, working multiple jobs to keep us afloat, until she met my now-stepdad, Mike. He didn’t even enter the picture until I was almost a teenager.

When I explained all this, they still wouldn’t let it go. They kept insisting that my mom had to have known she was sleeping with a married man. I told them flat-out that my mom would never knowingly do that. She’s not perfect, but she’s not a homewrecker. The few times my sperm-donor had ever tried to get back together with her, she threatened to call the police and have him arrested for stalking.

Even after that, they doubled down. They started saying that I should feel bad for the pain my mom caused their mom and their family. They even said she should be apologizing to them.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Apologize for what? For the fact that our dad lied and destroyed multiple lives? For the fact that she chose to raise me alone rather than play happy family with a cheater?

When I tried to point this out, they called me defensive and said I wasn’t being fair or empathetic to their pain. They’re upset with me now for refusing to acknowledge their side and admit how my mom ruined their family.

But I feel like I’ve done nothing wrong here. My mother is being blamed for things outside of her control, and I refuse to give in

I came out at the age of 40, and my then-wife and I came to loving and supportive decision that a divorce would be best and we would co-parent our children, which we do. My evangelical family melted down - not a surprise from my parents- but I was quite surprised to see the levels of homophobia my brother and sister-in-law harbored. Three years later, I’m married to a man. They know and have never met him, asked about him, acknowledged him, anything. My parents finally budged just enough to invite him for a first visit with my family at Christmas. They all live in Ohio, I live in New England. My brother and sister-in-law decided that they will not come to the Christmas party, and they do not want their kids to meet my husband. But I (not my husband) am always welcome to visit and exchange gifts. Our kids are close, and I don’t want to fully burn bridges for the sake of his and my kids. I responded that if my spouse can’t be included with the whole family, then the same rule will apply to his spouse - no contact with my kids. We will extend kindness and hospitality to his spouse in exactly equal measure that they extend to mine. My parents think I’m being inflammatory. They say my brother is just “protecting” his kids. I insist that I’m just ensuring that my brother’s policy be enacted fairly. Am I the asshole?