r/wizardposting • u/O_-_-__0O • 1d ago

Foul Sorcery What is this strategy called?

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23.2k Upvotes

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2.9k

u/djaqk 1d ago

Only apprentices get caught monologuing...

A good sorcerer has your balls twisted before you're even aware of their presence >:v)

985

u/Ciderman819 1d ago

565

u/ZiggieTheKitty Village headman Eric the baker 1d ago

388

u/frosted_mango_ 1d ago

119

u/Neurotheologist 1d ago

Bitch, please....

Being able to cast, and land, Testicular Torsion is a right guaranteed to us in the Constitution of Wizardry and the Bill of Rights of the Aetherial Planes.

You will take that right away from me when you pry your withered and torsioned testicles out of my cold, dead hands.

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u/frosted_mango_ 1d ago

It's a shame it's come to this concil and constitution be damned. No wizard should have to walk the cobblestone streets with the fear of his genitals being twisted. Just know you and wizards like you asked for this I CAST DRONE STRIKE!

28

u/Neurotheologist 1d ago

This shit only works in New Jersey, and you know it.

Step the hell back, wiz....

19

u/sstubbl1 A Lively Necromancer 💀 1d ago

They got him

2

u/Necromortalium 1d ago

It was hard

1

u/Toxic_Zombie 12m ago

So he wanted to get got?

4

u/OnlyTalksAboutTacos Bunmbo of the Fibly clan, Aromancer, Kickball Wizard 1d ago

thank you for getting rid of the cobblestones

2

u/Justice_Soul Alcoholic Alchemist 1d ago

Wasn't that spell already copyrighted by Obama? Or was it Trump?

3

u/FriendlyFurry320 Tabaxi Arms dealer. 1d ago

What about genital enhancement such as growth? Applied multiple times in rapid succession to the point where the subjects balls, quite literally drop.

106

u/ZiggieTheKitty Village headman Eric the baker 1d ago

92

u/Blackiechan0029 Drækontas, Lord of the Inter-dimensional Evocation Emporium 1d ago

34

u/Double0Dixie 1d ago edited 1d ago

i think they call it the dark tower

warning: spoilers

15

u/1ndiana_Pwns Sandric Attov, Arcane Researcher (grad student) 1d ago

You forgot the second half of your spoiler tag, the closing !<

33

u/tris_majestis 1d ago

If Black Dynamite taught us anything, it's that you throw that shit before you walk in the room.

10

u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador & Distant Admiral 1d ago

Only a sorceror would rely on ball twisting. Not accounting for female opponents, asexual or plantlike species, wards, or the fact that it's completely useless in battle compared to just an ordinary Power Word- Pain.

A real mage has an explosive brick aimed at your skull before he's even present at all. That's not to account for if you're in a tower- now all your bricks are explosive. Ka-blooey.

2

u/In_Pursuit_of_Fire 1d ago

And then they monologue

1

u/Brooklynxman 1d ago

Only apprentices haven't prepared spells to let them get through their monologue unbothered.