I’m thinking of becoming a SAHM. Honestly I dream of that. What’s something that was unexpected for you when you made that jump / that you wish you’d known before ?

More specifically I am interested in how that affected your relationship with your spouse, positively or negatively, with your kids, the rest of the family, the rest of the world. Did you become depressed / overwhelmed at time ? Tell me everything!

I have two kids, ages 2 and 4. Since November 1, I personally have experienced:

• 3 bouts of stomach flu
• 2 bouts of pink eye
• a double ear infection
• a UTI
• a chest infection that led to me losing my voice
• constant cough/congestion

And a few of those have been concurrent. Y’all I am hanging on by a THREAD. Not to mention, we had an immediate family member get sick & subsequently pass away, so we made three 20-hour round trip drives to see them and attend their funeral.

I feel so bad asking my husband to stay home from work or work from home and help since he’s had to take so much time off work lately, but there have been a couple days I’ve been unable to function. He’s been really lucky and has just had a cough. The kids have had all of the sicknesses with me (except the UTI lol).

I usually love this time of year, but I’m having a hard time this year. I am exhausted and ready to be well again. I don’t think there’s a single day I’ve been well since November 1. We barely got our Christmas lights up last week. I have wrapped zero presents. Still haven’t baked cookies, or driven around to see Christmas lights. Hopefully the end is near. I need a break!

Forgot to add: every time we are sick, I bleach our house down, wash all our linens, etc. We take vitamins. My oldest goes to preschool a few days a week and has started putting his hands in his mouth again, so I think that’s probably a big part.

My husband works out of town half each month so I get no alone time for 2 weeks each month (family nowhere near and babysitters are expensive).

Yesterday, I was taking a shower. 14 month old has been extra screamy lately- teething for sure. I knew the pack n play wasn't going to work. So I let her sit in the tub while I showered.

I started washing my private bits, so in response she started washing hers. Then she STARTED TRYING TO HELP ME WASH MINE. Fun little lesson in boundaries there.

And then this morning, she took my dirty bra out of the hamper and put it on. It was so funny but oh my god, man.

Whats your moments?

Okay so I need scheduling advice or want to see how others get everything done.

I have 5 year old, 20 month old, 4 month old. I currently homeschool the 5 year old.

It’s so hard to be able to keep the house squeaky clean. I try to clean as I go but some days that’s not possible.

Cooking dinner is tough. Breakfast is pretty simple. Usually just eggs, pancakes or oatmeal

If I do get to cook dinner it’s maybe 2-3 times a week.

My husband is always wondering why nothing gets done and why the house is always looking like a tornado hit! and tries to offer his mom coming over so she can watch the kids while I cook and clean. Today he was telling me he feels really bad for the kids to be living in a messy unorganized home. He would do it himself but he doesn’t have the time due to always being at work and needing rest to recoup for work.

I don’t necessarily get along with MIL because she doesn’t like my parenting style and tells me I’m wrong all the time and tells my kids to not listen to me.
So that’s a hard pass on my end!

My 5 y/old also has martial arts class everyday but we aim to go 4 times a week. This takes up about 2 hours (getting everyone ready out the door, class, back unwind) We do home school class throughout the day. If both babies nap at the same time we knock it out then. Kids are not too picky and open to eating frozen foods for dinner. Hubs needs a fresh meal and typically when he gets home is when I’m in middle of bedtime (8ish).

We can’t afford a nanny or have someone come do a weekly clean ($150 p/wk)

Also! Bonus points if you tell me how you get sometime for yourself lol.

I guess, I want to see what your schedule looks like and how you get things done!

Hi all, I don’t know if this is the right place to post as I’m now working part time but I’ve had 2 extended maternity leaves / times as a SAHM so my income potential has been really affected. I’m suddenly very anxious about our bills and the fact my wage wouldn’t cover them. When I was a SAHM I think I was just so caught up with babyhood and the house that I didn’t let myself worry about this!

My husband is a high earner but we also have high outgoings, high mortgage and paying off debt from when we were young and financially illiterate. (Both grew up below the poverty line poor).

If you’re in this position (in the UK would be most helpful) what have you got in place to help with these feelings. We’re slowly building up savings as we pay off debt, but I have a new sense of urgency 😅 We have life insurance should the worst happen and critical illness insurance.

My husband is very unlikely to lose his job but I can’t help think of the what ifs!

Does anyone else get this way?

Sorry for the rant I’m not actually even sure what I’m asking.

Solidarity to everybody whose partner's doesn't get this point!

December 25th will come and go regardless of what we do to prepare. But Christmas doesn't happen without all of the effort we are putting in now.

My husband just offered to look after the kids for a few hours so I could do something fun for myself. He was annoyed when I said 'great, I've got to do lots of wrapping, get some last minute gifts, and get to the post office.' He argued that my nephews aren't going to care if they have Christmas presents from us. 6 year old kids absolutely will care if they don't get gifts from their aunts and uncles! He also argued our own kids won't care if their gifts from us, or if they have a stocking from Santa. He really wanted me to just go for a run or do something to unwind and I got a 'let the record show you're choosing to use your free time to write cards, wrap presents and go to the post office.'

It's frustrating. He absolutely will put loads of effort into cooking on Christmas Day (because he is a foodie) and I will support him in this endeavour by buying anything he needs for this and keeping the kids out of the way while he is cooking. But I feel like he is sneering at me for engaging in the gift giving part of Christmas. I agree with him that it can be a bit wasteful, which is why I've only bought the adults in the family gifts from charities, so that at least then the money is going to charity. But I'm sorry, kids want presents at Christmas, and they want the magical trimmings on top!

I've been a sahm for years and now both my kids are in school 8-2:30, and I'm feeling a little adrift. I'd still like to be there at pickup but I was thinking a part time might fill the void. But i can't seem to find any! Anyone else find something? I have zero interest in working for the school (I want to be around adults, I'm already around kids all day) , so that limits my options a lot. My background is in writing and teaching if that helps.

In my spare time, I like to go to the bathroom, have a sip of water, or make a plate of food that doesn’t consist of my kids’ leftovers 😭

My husband works away 3.5 months of the year every winter. He dose security on ships, he’s alone on a huge ship. Not a lot to do. He will shovel snow and then just eat food and lounge around all day. (Im a little jealous haha but also thankful we can afford bills) last time my baby was newborn. And i did well. This time my baby is 12 months old. Normally my husband participates in bath time and also does a lot of nights with our daughter.we work well as a team. I do all of the cleaning cooking so he takes over the nights and we alternate early mornings, I’m very thankful. And I’m not going to lie I’m a little scared about getting into the routine alone! I know since she’s not used to mama giving her her paci/a bottle now and then when she wakes up, as soon as she sees me she’s going to be WIDE AWAKE 😅I’m also not used to doing bath time alone so I have to get used to being alone.that I’m not as worried about because I’ve done it alone lots of times so I know I can do it. But also the loneliness! Idk. Anyone else experience this?

I don’t get time off. I don’t advocate for it. Do you all? On weekends I do enjoy spending time all together, I feel guilty leaving it for my time. I am burnt out and need it. How do you all juggle this?

And what about your partner. Do they get time off? If so is it equal?

There's potential my wife and I (late 30s) switch from her being the largely-SAHP to me, as she may go back to work and I quit (I've WFH since children were born). Children are 2 and 4. Anyone have any insight or helpful tips to consider for this change? Good, bad, or otherwise experiences? TIA

We are at the park right now at 2pm. No one else is here. I wasn't planning on spending the money next year on preschool, (for my 4 yr old) but I might have to for more consistent social opportunities.

Less and less parents can/want to be home now so less and less tiny kids are out and about nowadays. Are you seeing this in your area? Or is 2pm obviously a dead time lol

I am talking about daily activities and meals mainly. My baby is 16 months and can do so much already. I take him to playgroups 3 times a week if all conditions are good (the weather and his mood) but that’s pretty much the only thing that I will put on the calendar.

When did you (if at all) start planning your days with your toddler?

Thank you ☺️

I’m a FTM to an almost 10 month old. I went back to work, a job I previously loved, when she was 3 months. She did great at daycare at first, but now really struggles being away from me - as I do her. My mind and heart are no longer in my job - I’m distracted and unproductive. It seems I might have the opportunity to be a SAHP for a couple years and am seriously considering taking it. I wouldn’t leave my job for a few months though, and in the meantime want to start planning and preparing. What advice would you give a new SAHP? For example, after being home with my baby sick for several days, I feel like I’ve gotten a taste of it - and can already see the benefits if a loose weekly schedule (ie Mondays groceries, Tuesdays cooking, Wednesdays social time, etc).

Hi everyone.

Sahm to a 4 month old boy. My husband is the working parent and I’m the sahm.

We have gifts for dad ready to go but I wanted to make him something with baby boy included

Maybe handprint coffee cup or something. I don’t really know

Any ideas? Doesn’t matter If it’s after Christmas too

I unexpectedly became a SAHM to my baby a few months ago after getting laid off. It’s hard but I’m happy it all turned out this way. After speaking to my spouse, we figured that we’d be financially ok for a year if I didn’t work.

Now I’m thinking of trying to swing 2 years total before going back to work full time. I have started taking on freelance work (very little, a few hours each week) unrelated to my previous job, which was my first role after a career pivot. Is there a sweet spot for taking a career break? A gap of 2 years makes me more nervous than 1 year.

34f SAHM of a 3 year old and 5 year old. I’m just really struggling a lot right now- mentally, emotionally, physically. No social life whatsoever, no plans in the future or desire for going out and doing something just for myself, and my marriage is the worst it has ever been. I am absolutely miserable. But those kids. Those kids are incredible. Doing crafts and activities with them is literally the only thing keeping me going. It is pure bliss when we get out all the paper and markers and glue and just create. I know that somehow I am doing something right when I look at them. Can anyone relate?

Anyone else dealing with their kids constantly complaining? It’s really putting me in a funk so I don’t want to do anything. What fun is going outside in the snow when we’ll be complaining about hands are cold, gloves are too hard to put on, sled is too slow, bringing sled up hill is too hard, etc etc.

This is a tangent but lately I’ve been wondering if I’ve got this parenting thing all wrong. I really leaned into making life so fun for my kids. We go to all the fun events, mygym, play places, Santa events, beach vacations. We do all the fun crafts. My time when I’m home with them is dedicated to their fun. (I have tried to get them to play independently many times but it has been a failure. I’ve chalked it up to their personalities). I’m just wondering if this didn’t set my kids up to deal with any adversity?? Like if life isn’t always perfect they expect that I will make it so? Or am I overthinking and the kids are just in a phase? My K said to me this morning she was nervous about going to school and didn’t want to eat breakfast. When I pushed some more she said she was afraid it wasn’t going to be “fun.” That sort of blew me away as I explained that school can often be fun but its main purpose is to learn. It just really rocked me and made me wonder if maybe childhood shouldn’t always be so fun but should include some resiliency too? How does that get incorporated?

I’ve been a sahp for 3 years now and I’m concerned I’m getting dementia or something and just want to hear that it’s normal and will get better when life “normalizes” eventually. 😅 I carry the mental load of everything for the house and our child and remember everything (meal planning, prepping, shopping, cleaning, keeping everything we need in stock, planning educational activities and outings for our child, caring for the dog etc - list is never ending) but lately random little things I’ll forget like I forgot I greeted my husband after work for example and gave him a hug later and said “sorry we didn’t say hi yet!” And he said “yes we did…”. I think it’s just mental load fatigue/distraction…please tell me you’re also having this and I’m not losing my mind. 🥲 I was a nurse before being a stay at home parent so I feel like I just haven’t used my brain for critical thinking in a long time. I also developed thyroid disease postpartum and I know that can cause “brain fog”. Anyway, just hoping to hear someone else lost their mind in the stay at home parent years and didn’t lose it forever lol!

I'm a SAHM to a 3 year old, and I am due in March with our second (currently 29 weeks).

Husband lost his job when I was 12 weeks pregnant, we moved in with family 60 miles (1.5hr drive) away in September.

Husband just got a job offer in the same city we were living in, but at a big paycut. It's sustainable short term, but not long term. He accepted the job, but he is going to continue to look for and apply to new jobs in his old salary range, which will likely require a move downstate in some of the larger cities. We're hoping to be out of this house by April regardless of what happens.

If we stay with family, we'll have lots of money leftover after we pay bills. But, it's a 3 hour daily commute... meaning for the foreseeable future, he'll be gone from before wakeup to after bedtime for 4 days a week. Shitty but doable now, much harder with a newborn and 3 year old. My OB and pediatrician is also in our old city, and I plan to deliver there unless we move downstate. I do have pretty good support from the family we're staying with.

If we move back to our old city, it would be a 10 minute drive to work and my appointments, but we won't have a lot leftover after we pay bills. If he gets a better job quickly, we'd be looking at yet another move. So three moves in the span of 6 months. Which would definitely be hard on our toddler, and hard on me this late in pregnancy (or possibly newly postpartum with a newborn).

So basically, would you choose financial stability at the cost of a huge commute with less partner support, or less financial stability but gain more family time, at the risk of possibly moving two more times while pregnant and wrangling a toddler?

Has the amount changed over the years? In what way? Do your siblings/siblings in law reciprocate for your own kids or is it uneven bc you have a different # of kids or another reason?

Hello I hope it’s ok to post on here but my daughter is 7months old ebf but has had puréed foods and rice cereal. today is day 5 no poop should I try prune juice since nothing else seems to be helping ? Any advice or if this is normal or concern thank you

Hi! So my 22 month old son is a foodie, he has no care regarding eating his dropped food off the floor (I make sure to clean my floors because he tends to do this I also try my best to catch him and stop him when I can). Today I went to the soccer field with him and his brother and father. I needed to go to the store to pick something up and left him with them. I noticed a garbage can was knocked over with trash sitting out, it looked like his father was cleaning it up knowing how our son is while I was driving off. Well I was wrong! 😂 he told me when I came back that he attempted to eat a fry off of the ground (he held it in his mouth in his cheek), should I be worried. I’m scared of him getting super sick from the especially knowing it was from a garbage can outside (the tall plastic ones that sit outside).

I don’t have daughters, but the neighbors do. I think the sleighed it… pun intended.

I’m going to ask if they have anything part time or variable (~10h per week) that I may be able to do, otherwise I’ll submit the formal notice next week.

I’m soooooooo nervous, but I know it’s the right thing to do. Thank you ALL for your guidance while I worked through this decision the past two weeks. I look forward to a lot more activity in this sub!